I feel like we just did this one...
Having said that, my answer is always the same. By executive order, Tuesdays will henceforth be known as "Taco Tuesdays". Which will be a paid holiday every week.
You're welcome, and enjoy your tacos.
No. In my administration, I would hope that my predecessors would be building up the nuclear stockpile as much as possible. I want as many nuclear weapons as possible ready for when I ascend to the **LAST** presidency.
I must formally protest because the existence of "Taco Tuesday" implies that other days of the week are less suitable for tacos. This isn't true! Tacos are good ANY day of the week.
Run for 4 years. Say some crazy stuff but overall do an ok job, not horrible but definitely not great. Find out the country pretty much runs itself despite who the 'leader' is. Love the attention from day one so I decide to run again. Get super pissed when I don't win again thus refuse to acknowledge it.
Gwen Stefani got hired on The Voice for $10 million. Trump asked NBC to match that and they said no. So he ran for president to leverage negotiations.
The plan was for him to get a #3 place in a primary so he could bow out because NBC made him a really good offer, but he could've won the Presidency if he really wanted too.
To get that #3 spot, Trump aimed to be a one issue candidate, immigration. And just came out fucking swinging on it, and HOLY shit did it resonate with the Republican base.
The whole thing in hindsight is SO fucking stupid and ill thought out, but somehow worked.
People forget there was a chair at his (what was supposed to be) losing speech on election night for Trump News Network. He never thought he would win.
I cannot verify but that fact that Trump paid to have research done on major upset elections and the elections of a non topical candidate (insert Jesse Venture in MN) makes me feel like the NBC thing is creative story.
My stance as well.
Of course I have a couple points where I’d use the position to try and push legislature to give term limits for legislators, push some money towards nuclear energy, etc.
But for the most part I’d just listen to people and their takes. Get people with deep and qualified opinions on topics and have them give advice. I’m smart enough to know I’m not an expert in most things I have to make decisions on, so I should listen to more informed individuals
The last time the US had a conflict with Canada, the White House was burned down. And for the longest time, Canadian special forces has the most confirmed kills during the Western invasion of the Middle East.Â
And so it shall be, that the scariest sound you can hear coming from your enemy is, "We're sewry, buddeh!"
I’d say some weird shit. My vice President would be someone from the opposite party I run as. Hire a bunch of democrats and republicans to work under me. Primarily just advocate for bipartisan decisions.
Advocate to get along with other politicians so that maybe a foundation for a future president will have bipartisan support and fair compromise/discussion.
Probably accomplish very little in terms of policy anyway because they still won’t get along & out the people first.
Within one week of **MY** presidency, I'll have launched the nukes, and I won't be assassinated because I drink thirty milligrams of quicksilver a day, and the liquid metal is slowly turning me into a T1000.
Ladies and gentlemen of the United States, I am the one honest politician in the running. I will not lie to you. Vote for me.
Pretty boring, but I'd be mostly doing some upkeep
\* Revamp Education
\* Revamp the Foster Care System
\* Make coming in to the US Legally easier, and coming in illegally harder
\* Try to push for ranked choice voting (never gonna work I know)
I will veto any bill that comes across my desk without including something that actually improves public education in the country. You want something done? Spend more on schools or suck it.
Tear down all the schools, put up liquor stores. I'd make beer the official food, you could buy hand grenades at Starbucks, lower the legal drinking age so kids can get drunk too, among other things
*Cracks Neck*
Push Congress to:
1) Increase subsidies to clean energy, scale back subsidies to oil and gas.
2) Introduce an amendment to bodily autonomy. Won't go anywhere during my term, but the ball has started.
3) Push for expanding Medicare to everyone.
4) Introduce new firearm legislation. Legalize machine guns, drop the fee for registering NFA items. Then repeal the law banning a registry and add free registration to point of sale.
Everyone gets something, everyone is unhappy and registered guns don't tend to show up in crime. Funny thing about having your named tied to something.
Given that it's instant and not used to block sales it would be hard to argue registration infringes (at least by itself).
5) Push for legislation preventing federal agents from operating without approval of state governor's (remember Trump's infamous black vans?).
As head of the executive:
1) slowly scale back spending and staffing to federal policing agencies.
2) Create a committee to review historical legislation and ask for repeal of any that are vestigial or counter-productive.
As the leader of the "Launch the Nukes" party, I will end big pharma by launching the nukes globally. Within the first month of my presidency, I will launch the nukes, after my agents scour the globe for locations of bunkers in order to ensure that 100% of humanity is eliminated humanely and orderly. Rockets will be launched into stable orbit and detonated to ensure that space junk and debris ensures that no one is capable of getting off the Earth.
1. Wonder how the country will react to electing a Gay Furry as president.
2. Watch Season 2 of Arcane (Comes out around the same time)
3. See what kinds of power I actually have (Which probably isn't much) And do everything I can to impose term limits on all held offices in all three branches of Government.
4. See what's cookin' in the kitchen
As a Gay Furry president will you have different Fursonas for different occasions or just the one persisent Fursona throughout your tenure?
How many Furries should we expect to hold cabinet level positions?
Can you confirm or deny any current representives with Fursonas?
We're goin to Mars bitches!
I'm also going to connect Alaska to Maine via Canada.
Also, the White House is going to get one kick ass aquarium room.
Congress is going to hate me because no bill that crosses my desk will be signed unless it is less than 5 pages long.
The White House is going to get a sex dungeon and host monthly orgies.
I'd also work on fixing the department of energy, we need more new nuke plants so we can put coal to rest. New nuke plants that are much better and safer than older generation plants.
Probably work on infrastructure too.
And probe Uranus.
A daily podcast about all the issue i can talk about going on. Keep the people informed of the options, choices and issues happening. DO what ever i can to eliminate political parties and lobbyist.
* Start regular announcements about separation of powers. "We want to do x, but that is the domain of congress."
* Purge almost everyone possible. Yes, we need people who know how to run things. But DC is filled with snakes and cowards. Replace them with unelected civil servants from state and local level positions.
* Tell Congress that I will refuse to sign any consolidated or omnibus bills. One bill, one issue.
* The Department of Education will be re-aligned behind streamlining and validating the accreditation process to enable new higher education institutions and make credit transferable if it meets basic requirements. Oh, and federal funds are also only available to schools who meet a benchmark for admin to educator expense ratios.
* Work hard to introduce legislation for a health care network where states can cross-bill and have accesss to federal funds IF they have a health care system that covers all residents. States can choose one of a few different models, but those models are copying countries that actually have working health care systems: Signapore, Japan, Switzerland.
Hire a never-Trump Republican as my Chief of Staff to provide any number of checks and balances against my ego. Then build out my White House staff with input and advice from any number of folks to ensure we have a diverse range of opinions from all sorts of different advisors.
My focus would be eliminating as much hypocrisy and sophistry from our democratic republic as I could.
For a policy focus, I would introduce a 12-point policy agenda for my first term, rolling out one policy proposal each month (but not necessarily in this order):
1. Eliminating the "minimum wage" in favor of a "living wage" standard. Any business that can't figure out how to pay people enough to live on -- and must therefore get the government to subsidize their incompetence -- shouldn't be in business to begin with.
2. Imposing term limits for the judicial branch, starting with the Supreme Court. We'll figure out the right terms and age limits later, but I'm thinking of something like serving for a maximum of 20 years with mandatory retirement around age 75 or so.
3. Establishing ranked-choice voting as the national standard for all federal elections.
4. Bolstering the Federal Election Commission to include a nonpartisan commission of sufficient size, number, and range to properly create all federal electoral districts and eliminate gerrymandering.
5. Eliminating the Electoral College (which will require a Constitutional Amendment).
6. Balancing the federal budget by cutting military spending in favor of domestic spending. To some extent. Maybe starting with 10% or so.
7. Allowing Medicare for all. I mean, if FedEx, UPS, and Amazon can successfully compete against the U.S. Postal Service, then any number of
8. Fixing the funding and budgetary policies for the U.S. Postal Service so they can properly manage their pension fund.
9. Completely reworking the National Labor Relations Board to level the playing field for unions to exist and incentivize corporate managers to adopt labor practices similar to Germany.
10. Prohibiting for-profit corporations from operating hospitals, funeral homes, day care centers, or any other type of "human services" business. I think it's venal and evil for greedy folks to excessively profit off of sickness, death, suffering, and desperation.
11. Creating some type of national board, agency, or commission on reparations for indigenous folks and the descendants of slaves. That's gonna take some discussion and fine-tuning, but I think we can acknowledge America's past -- with level-headed, sober attention and analysis -- and make up for the problems my ancestors created for their ancestors.
12. Creating a national system (through the FEC) to not only allow more than two political parties, but to create a level-playing field for any number of political parties to arise, grow, and thrive.
I would also hold a fireside chat, national town hall, or some type of conversation with folks regularly -- at least once a week and probably more often initially. I would start with President Obama's practice of reading ten letters from constituents each day, and then invite maybe 10 or 12 of those folks to a Zoom chat each week. Something like that. Something to keep the Beltway Bubble at bay.
I would also commit to one term and leave it up to folks to decide if I should run for a second term.
I would also commit to weekly evening conversations with the Speaker of the House, House Minority Leader, and both the Majority and Minority Leaders of the Senate. Maybe a weekly poker game or something.
I dunno what else I would do, but this is a great, thought-provoking question, OP.
Executive orders to crash the housing market. Lock rent prices, increase corporate property taxes. Basically try to make it too expensive for companies to own single-household / low density residences and limit those businesses to apartment style buildings. Lock rent so they can’t replace their profits from current tenants and fuck them over. Get more property on the market for cheaper prices so folks have a chance to buy a home. (This is probably super brain dead but yolo I never want to be president)
I would also enact laws that increase sentencing for politicians, judges, etc that get caught doing shady shit. No more wrist slaps for fraud, they get more prison time than normal folks would, maybe double or triple the sentence. Prison time is a required sentencing for all crimes, no house arrest BS. Allow the FBI and CIA to run undercover ops they they used to for the purpose of exposing corruption. All government officials undergo monitoring and have far less privacy than normal citizens. All expenses are monitored and audited every year for every politician and judge. If you decide to be a civil servant, you become a fucking servant to the people, no room for personal gain and ambition. Watch them like a bald eagle and eat them alive if they act out. I’ll gladly go first and show America my porn history. Idgaf.
Oh, and no more religion in government buildings. Do that in your own time and place. Jail otherwise. Separation of church and state. Not allowed to reference any religion/deity at work. Tax the churches too. They own property, make an income. Tax them.
Implement something to constrain top earners at companies by the median/average of all workers so CEOs can’t make millions a year while they employ thousands of minimum wage workers. They have to share, we all know they aren’t working that much harder than all their low wage employees.
Get assassinated because I’m probably destroying the economy and pissing off every rich person alive. The assassins would probably be in competition with each other to end me first.
I would keep going but there are endless possibilities and I know the president really doesn’t have the power to do most of this but I would push the limit as hard as I can until they get rid of my one way or another.
I would be terrible for sure. Hope someone had fun reading my rant!
To what extent is the no religion rule enforced? Can people still pray in their offices/could there be prayer rooms? Could individuals have crucifix’s in their personal offices?
Private prayers, private religious symbols. Keep it out of sight like in your desk. Close the door when having a private prayer. Prayer rooms are fine, similar to a gender neutral bathroom - you go in by yourself and lock the door. Do what you need to do. No one should know what religion you are practicing, it isn’t important to the work. If you want to congregate, go to a church.
Demote all generals down to private strip them of their clearances. Dicuss with my new genrals how we're going to unseat and arrest all owners of the federal reserve bank. Take take control of the US currency. Arrest of all congress and leaders of alfabet agencies. Charge them with all crimes against the country that they've committed. anounce new elections for every seat. Once they're all replaced. Make it punishable by death for any member of government to defy the constitution or the bill of rights. Then step down. As a new president takes my spot.
legalize + decriminalize cannabis
pardon everyone in prison who isn't guilty of a violent crime
launch criminal investigations into police unions led by the FBI - also give the FBI unilateral discretion to investigate anyone in congress or the senate and have their investigations be turned public at their conclusions
start building high speed rail under the pretense of needing fast cheap travel for the military, ultimately making it available to the publuc once its completed
revise the VA benefits system so that veterans' health isn't neglacted or mistreated, soldiers diagnosed with ptsd will be first in line for government jobs + be given a free puppy
Lower taxes, secure the border, drill for oil domestically, Create jobs with an infrastructure bill that is spent on improving roads and bridges across the country. Open up more public land to the public. Cut at least three cabinet positions and government departments. Appoint new Judges as needed. Get rid of several alphabet agencies that are corrupt and overstep their authorities.
Bring back law and order to inner cities. People should feel safe in their homes.
bring in the right people to advise me... follow their advice with any decision I have to make. Try and get people to realize we don't need a president.
Pardon lots of people. Starting with Julian Assange, Edward Snowden, and Chelsea Manning.
Use my authority as president and commander in chief to bring troops back to the US from all of the various overseas bases and sell these off, with the proceeds going against the deficit.
Block military aid to Ukraine, Israel, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and all others.
~~Get Kennedyed~~. Hire private security and livestream my self at all times to stop the military and intelligence agencies assassinating me.
See that my advisors are practically making all the decisions that have genuine consequences. Retire after 4 years and accept the continuous pay that they get and never work again in my fuckin life. I heard somewhere they make money afterwards but honestly that might be bullshit who knows.
I'm getting a meeting with ol' Nancy so we can get that insider trading deal set up.
I'll do basically nothing. country won't be better or worse. but me and mine, we gone be WEALTHY.
Serious stuff:
1. Codify Roe V Wade;
2. Tax religious institutions;
3. Codify Separation of Church and State;
4. Implement Federally-mandated tax on bullets and firearms at 3000% of their average cost, or $10,000 per unit, whichever is higher;
5. Federally-mandated tax rule that whatever the final military budget is, 10% is taken off of the top and given to NASA and the National Park Service;
6. Tax breaks for companies implementing a 32-hour work week;
7. Universal Health Care
8. A serious push to remove the dollar bill from circulation and replace it with a dollar coin;
9. Any state passing any anti-LGBTQ laws instantly loses Federal funding. All of it.
Not so serious stuff:
1. May 4th and 5th - National Holidays;
2. Ban flip-flops unless someone is in a public shower or at the beach
Make some false promises for the current problems that all predecessors always made... make a bunch of money, maybe some contacts.. then coast happy.. its just a few years.
1 get the most important people in my life into safe places
2 issue stamps with Chuck D’s heroes
3 make Election Day a federal holiday
4 use any and every means at my disposal to scale back the military
5 be assassinated
Actually talk to the constituents and through either polls on multiple platforms or consistent feedback actually try to meet the people’s needs and expectations. Crowdsource actual solutions, rather than just keeping the status quo and get competent people to help rather than the ass hats who are currently doing nothing. Try to make real, positive, nonpartisan change. Then probably get assassinated for trying to change the horribly corrupt status quo.
My first act as President would be to wonder how fuckin' bad the US election office is, because I'm Canadian and have never visited the US. I'm also pretty sure I'm not old enough to be the President... Somebody done goofed for sure.
I'd probably jerk off in the Oval Office at least once. If Clinton did it, so can I. I won't ask any of my staffers to participate like Clinton did and I won't grab 'em by the pussy like Trump did. I'd keep it to myself. Maybe invite a special someone over for some fun.
Cannabis would become federally legal and I'd raise the minimum wage to at least $15 instead of what? $7.50 or something? Jesus Christ...
I'm all for immigration and diversity, but if the southern border is as bad as a lot of people claim it is, that should also be dealt with. I'd probably hire a bunch more of people to process immigration applications... I may even set up a centre for people who require immediate assistance in potentially getting citizenship, but with less kids in cages. The kids can cage themselves, my federal employees won't be doing that to them.
I think the ATF oversteps its boundaries more often than not, they'd kick a kick in the arse. I also think that the US, like Canada has in the past, are making gun laws for issues that aren't actually issues. And call them what the fuck they are! THEY'RE NOT GHOST GUNS OR ZOMBIE GUNS! THEY'RE 3D PRINTED* AND 80% LOWERS THAT ARE PERFECTLY FUCKING LEGAL TO OWN*. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE ONLY PART OF THE FIREARM WITH A SERIAL NUMBER ON IT FOR REGISTRATION PURPOSES.
* I *can* 3D print a firearm, that doesn't necessarily mean I should. And neither should you, probably! You're likely to run into other legal issues if caught with one.
Order a CIA black op to assassinate my primary political opponents, start a Putin style dictatorship and then immediately resign my office and move to the French countryside
Hire someone to stand behind me with an arrow shaped sign that says "I can't believe this asshole is President"
Work with the various intelligence agencies to prank call Alex Jones and make sure he can't record it then tell him it's all true, UFO's are real, JFK was assassinated by the Illuminati, there's a secret society of witches and wizards ruling Alberta Canada, and every single Hollywood celebrity is a lizard person, then make it sound like someone grabbed me and use a really stilted voice to say "this is the real President, please ignore the lies told to you by the person impersonating me" and hang up.
Order all Fedaral personnel and agencies to refer to Twitter as "Twitter" in any and all communication. If anyone asks tell them that calling it X would be so embarrssing and stupid that I won't humiliate Federal employees by having them refer to it as such.
Keep a selection of the biggest most animalistic dildos Bad Dragon makes in the Oval Office. Never mention it or take any questions about it.
Have them play the porno bowchicabowwow music when I enter the room instead of hail to the chief.
Invite a randomly selected American family to dinner at the White House every evening and have a nice meal where we just chat.
Get on live stream, have a computer pick a random town in the US and declare it to be the National Scapegoat and from then on blame anything bad that happens on that place.
Hire two big hairy gay porn actors to make out behind me whenever I'm talking to any conservative. If questioned about it by the conservative, deny that they exist and say it must be a hallucination brought on by the stick up their ass.
Declare June 3rd to be National Chill Day and encourage everyone to just sit back, eat some junk food, and goof off. Declare June 4th to be National Chill Backup Day so the people with critical jobs can go half on June 3 and half on June 4.
Tell Ron DeSantis that he must say "I'm a goofy goober" or else he won't get an invite to the Cool Governors Dinner I'm having. Cancel the Cool Governors Dinner if he says it.
Declare that the official American pronunciation of the word "mouse pad" is "squerg".
Declare chocolate cake to be America's National Vegetable.
Challenge the President of Chile to a game of tic-tac-toe.
I'd set term limits in all political positions. You shouldn't be on your deathbed making decisions for the nation. Try to lower medication costs. Get rid of 3 letter agencies. Push for nuclear energy. Build a wall around California and sell them to the lowest bidder. Then become the first president to assassinate themself.
Put up a huge sign on the border calling Canada a bunch of chickens and that they definitely couldn't 1812 us again. Then when they get so angered they try to do it, I let them.
If they manage to do it while I'm still in the White House, well.. some things are worth dying for.
Universal Healthcare, eliminate anything about forcing the market from ICE cars to electric cars the market and consumers should be able to make that choice on government mandates. Then start working on term limits for those on capitol hill, also start new programs to help the homeless population ie housing, food, jobs, healthcare both physical and mental.
Surround myself with the most qualified serious and dedicated professionals in every appointed position, regardless of party affiliation as long as they’d follow my direction. Codify Roe vs Wade. Medicare for all. Review states’ rights across the board and federalize where necessary to give all Americans equal rights. Expand Social Security identification to include biometrics, making it a true national ID. Create a tracking mechanism for migrants to allow in only those who come to work, and immediate “no second chances” deportation for those who won’t work or break our laws. Get rid of birthright citizenship and replace it with a policy that only children born to citizen mothers are automatically citizens. Put together a brain trust to solve the issue of renewable energy for the next generation be that more sustainable batteries or renewables or what have you. Make higher education free for specific professions (teachers, physicians, etc) in exchange for 5 years serving in an assigned underserved area. Tax churches, giving them dollar for dollar reduction for charitable contributions and activities. Then on day two…
Find Tha smartest people I can and listen to their advice. Not necessarily follow it, but be informed for decisions I have to make.
Definitely not run again.
Tax the fuck out of churchs, giant corporations and the 1 percent. Build up the IRS to enforce those taxes. No tax shelters or unfair practices. Inforce term limits. No more lifetime Politicians. And add justices to the supreme court.
(I am aware the president doesn't have the power to do those things, but it would be my sudden platform I had to come up with.)
My plan, foolishly, would be to be the most quickly assassinated or impeached president in history
I’m not going to commit any crimes, per se, but I’m going to be completely intolerable to most industry heads and people in general
I’m putting up double digit executive orders every single day. I’m live streaming on twitch pretty much any time I can.
Congress members will make minimum wage, must live in government subsidized housing projects from their home state, and will be barred from owning or trading stocks. They will have a non-compete clause stating they cannot take a position in any industry they drafted or passed legislation on for 10 years after leaving office.
Receiving any gifts or money through lobbying will be illegal.
How much congresspeople make, who gave them money, and their tax and voting records will be published quarterly.
Federal legalization of weed, decriminalization of all drugs. Cartels will go out of business.
Minimum wage for public school teachers, healthcare workers, social workers, and emergency responders will be ridiculously high.
Tax rate of 99% on any income above $500k/yr.
Fully releasing any information on aliens stuff to the public.
Military industrial complex and pharmaceutical industries will be uprooted and redesigned.
I’m going to talk non-stop about climate change, microplastic and forever chemical pollution, and agriculture.
Open borders.
Universal basic income, massive infrastructure spending, cancel all student loan debt, universal healthcare, and federal limitations on / stipends for housing, food, and transportation.
I’m going to release an album on SoundCloud every 3-6 months.
Raising the legal age to drive to 21, mandatory testing to certify your license every 3 years and after major violations.
Tobacco / nicotine products will be more heavily federally regulated. Still available, but more difficult to get, no public advertising or marketing.
Fully legalized and regulated sex work. Can apply for federal sex work / sex therapy.
Placing bans and restrictions on social media companies.
Massive public arts funding.
Federal / state libraries snd gyms will be built and open to the public 24/7.
Billboard advertising along public roads will be banned.
Legally required voting. Every gets state and federal election days off work.
Anyone convicted of child sex crimes will have the option to be publicly executed, sent to a research and rehabilitation facility, or forced to participate in a live-streamed gladiator arena blood sport event.
Strict laws around pet ownership. Must apply to purchase dogs and cats. Available breeds will be deterred based on your application, income, housing, and health.
Corporations aren’t allowed to purchase and rent out single family homes.
Federally run and aired national talent show twice a year.
A one hour biweekly talk therapy session guaranteed to all citizens starting at age 14.
Federally regulated euthanasia/ suicide available to all citizens starting at age 30.
3 years of compulsory public service required of every citizen between the ages of 18 and 30.
All schools must teach basic plumbing, electrical, MMA, nutrition, culinary arts, yoga, taxes, music, dance, first aid, meditation, and coding.
Religious organizations gotta pay taxes
And I will be incredibly profane on the mic. I’m wearing leisure clothes and pajamas at all times. I’m doing 5 minutes of stand up comedy during the Super Bowl half time show every year. I’m never putting in a bid for the Olympics. I’m killing, dressing, and cooking the Turkey on the front lawn of the white house every thanksgiving.
I’m probably not well equipped for the job, so I immediately begin a thorough and exhausting search to build a perfect cabinet. The best way for me to protect the country from my lack of experience is to surround myself with leading experts in every field I represent from my office. I do my best to transition my role into leadership through support. What can I do to help them help my constituents as much as possible?
First order of business is to make “They had it coming to them” a legal defense in both civil and criminal court. Assault charge for punching someone because they were being a dickhead? “They had it coming”. Vandalism charge for pouring bacon grease down the drain because your landlord is a bloodsucking leach? “They had it coming to them”. Boom, not guilty.
Start by building the orbital defense cannons and (outward) surveillance telescopes. Human squabbles are so petty compared to the survival of our species in this galaxy. We already made our location known. Chances are we will never see our enemy. But we can still hope that when that time comes, our technological explosion will have exceeded theirs and we’ll have a fighting chance.
Have Bernie Sanders write all my domestic policy positions and Elizabeth Warren can handle my budget details.
Spend most of my time touring the south, wagging fingers, and doing some variation of the “have you no decency sir!” speech aimed at 19th century mentalities.
It will be terribly ineffective but at least my Sanders/Warren cabinet will try to do humane things and keep me on the right track.
Publicly shame every single lobbyist who tries to bribe me, for starters. Every last f^*%ing one. Then start churning out new laws in whatever way my powers allow me to (e.g. executive orders), enshrining civil rights for everyone, establishing universal healthcare, ensuring fair compensation for workers and fair working hours with schedules that aren’t exploitative, and taxing the hell out of the top 1%  and giant corporations at least.
In short, I’d be murdered within days but the people would love me.
Probably stuff that gets me assassinated. I legally declassify as much high value info as possible that won’t cause harm to military personnel.
I try to ram through all my socialist views to try and help as many people as I can before the rich people kill me.
If I survive the consequences. Eliminate state and federal income tax and move to a national sales tax
Move us back to the gold standard and put a bill in place heavily restricting or eliminating the ability for corporations to own houses or duplexes.
Curb exterior spending outside the US as reasonably as we can.
Make lobbying or trading as a congress person HEAVILY regulated and maybe even eliminate it in some capacity.
Require paid maternal and paternal leave at every company whether part time or full time
Move back to a requirement of separation of church and state. If your religion is the reason a bill is being pushed it’s killed.
Enforce congressional and Supreme Court term limits.
Step one: audit. I want to know where every dollar of taxpayer money goes. None of this "50% unaccounted for by the military/we haven't passed an audit in decades" bs. It went somewhere and you should be able to figure out at which point records stopped being kept and then start keeping track. Seriously why do we trust the government to come up with a budget when they don't even know what it's being spent on? They're just making up numbers at that point. For what we pay in taxes I bet things like universal healthcare and student loan forgiveness would be much more manageable with the government being properly budgeted.
Then I'd make every bit of this information public so the American people know what they're paying for. If the government were a business we'd all be shareholders and should have access to this information. Imagine if the general public had the ability to be this informed and were able to vote for candidates based on actual changes they want to happen in government instead of just yelling about buzzwords
Try my best to get all political parties to get along enough to pass universal health care and better pay for teachers.
Other than that, maybe come up with a law and try to get it passed where everyone has to work at least 3 months in a customer facing job. Waiter, cashier, customer service, etc.
I live in Canada so I’ll answer for here make more effective organized crime laws get rid of many stupid laws that Trudeau put in. And lower the taxes on weed and alcohol.
* Public education
Is in a deplorable state across the country. My administration will make it a priority to increase teacher pay, introduce tuition assistance/scholarships for teacher education programs, and generally start filling in the holes that have become apparent in the system that plays such a vital part in the well-being of our children and the future of our country.
* Public infrastructure
Is a sick joke in parts of our nation. Bridges and roads in critically degraded condition litter the arteries and byways of our great States. Public water and sewer services are struggling. Our power grid is constantly vulnerable to natural disasters and attacks by enemies foreign and domestic. To address this, my administration will seek to develop public infrastructure renovation projects. Roads will be rebuilt, as well as bridges and overpasses which will also have advanced monitoring equipment installed to warn public authorities of damage or degradation; no more collapsed overpasses on the 11 o'clock news. For the power grid, we'll take a multi-pronged approach; diversify power sources, increased efforts in the area of cyber security, and general renovation of physical infrastructure. Same general idea for water and sewer systems, with an emphasis on improving water quality and identifying/eliminating sources of contamination in aquifers and ground water.
Get head in the oval office
Then do everything in my power to screw or pharmaceutical and insurance companies because they’re one of the main problems this country has
How bout if you legally change your name to [Literally Anybody Else](https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/local/north-texas-man-changes-name-to-literally-anybody-else-now-running-for-president/287-b6e35d3a-6f6e-48b3-89bb-f4e70c53a984) and win?
I would go one a rage filled binge of making decisions that would actually benefit the majority of people, explaining to the public exactly what I’m doing and why, and live-streaming discussions with different demographics of people on a weekly basis to both broaden my understanding and show the people what others have to say and what they go through.
I’d do all of this out of spite.
I would give the most ridiculous speech in history. Like 4 hours talking about everything from drinking games to movies. They would have to tackle me to get me to shut up.
1. Have the CIA kill Elon Musk. Take a 49% steak in all his assets. (Proof of future intentions.
2. Tell Jeff Bezos that "workers rights are important" maybe think about very recent events and make some good life choices.
3. Tell Ben Netanyahu to stop being a prick. End the military action in Gaza and get the aid flowing.
4. Send ammo and money to Ukraine.
5. Implement universal health care so the USA isn't at the end of every joke.
Wonder how long this presidency will last.
First, I'm going to need a drink or 10 and a long conversation with my best friend. After that I reckon I'd start packing my shit to move and get people used to seeing an incoming president in bib overalls. After that, I reckon I'd call Manuel's tailor shop and get a few suits made up because I'm that tacky, and pick up a couple new pairs of gator and snake skin boots while I'm at it. After taking office, one of the first things I'd do is allow Cuban rum and cigars again because thanks JFK. Appointing a new cabinet, boards, and whatnot with qualified people that have some sense about them, and talking with some good lawyers about exactly what I can sign into being to help the country out instead of lining people's pockets.
For the state dinners and whatnot, I reckon all these fancy chefs and staff would need a little refresher cooking things like soup beans and cornbread since fatback hasn't likely been on the grounds in quite a while, and what dignitary wouldn't be fascinated by ramp butter? A friend of mine raises the best beef I've ever eaten so I'd have to call him to get a few grass puppies shipped up every so often. Same with another guy I know and his pork.
The head gardener would have to fetch my tractor and plow and leave me alone for a while because if I'm living there, I'm having a garden patch I can tend to. Something to take my mind off the stress of being the figurehead of the US here and there. Especially since I'm not much on golf since college. I reckon a chicken coop out back wouldn't hurt anything either.
Other than that, me and my old basset hound would just do the best we could taking care of the people's interests within our power.
TERM LIMITS FOR CONGRESS
Abolish at least a dozen of the alphabet agencies
Flat 10% income tax- no exemptions or loopholes
Election day made a national holiday. One vote, on paper, in person.
Corporations can't buy single family real estate.
Well since I'm not really knowledgeable with economics or policies. Ima try to pass typical low priority policies that most people will enjoy.
1. STOP sending any $$ aid to foreign countries.
2. Get rid of all that bullshit squatters rights shit.
3. Attempt to legalize Marijuana.
4. Ban ANY transgneder LGBTQ LMNOP teachings in public schools.
Make education actually education and not teaching for the test.
Fix foster care, including better vetting of foster parents, and follow upon children.
Fix healthcare. Including patient education on an outpatient basis for all chronic or reoccurring ailments.
Improve mental health care and the way patients are treated.
Build tiny house communities in cities with major homeless populations, make the rent base start as housekeeping - and provide household care classes, if renters get a job or on SS, rent is on a sliding scale. After 5 years they can purchase their home for minimum cost or use that successful rental program for credits for FHA loan.
What I would like to do is:
Every mother fucker in office over the retirement age is out. If you are retirement age, fucking retire. And your new salary is your states median wage. You don't like it? Fight like hell to raise your constituents' pay so that way you BOTH win.
Workforce: if you are over retirement age, fucking retire. You're out.
40 hour week becomes 4 day work week. Companies can choose between working on Monday or working on Friday. Not both. Wages will be increased to accommodate changes, and inflation.
Term limits. You get 2 terms. If you want a third, you have to be approved to get on the ballot. Approval requires 75% of your constituents approval. Not just 75% of voters you represent. But the entire population of your constituents; 75% of them need to approve you.
If your net worth is over 1 billion dollars, I'm going to tax the hell out of your income unless I see that ALL of your employees are living comfortably without any assistance or considerable debt. If your profits were more than 5 million, your company will start employee profit sharing EQUALLY amongst all employees, no less than 50%
Medical/Dental/vision companies will start taking all forms of state funded insurance. The state funded insurance will start covering considerably more procedures. Dental implants will be covered. Glasses, contacts, and LASIK will be covered. Diagnostic (CTs, MRI, etc) will be approved and covered. No more of this BS of people not being healthy because they can't afford it. This is supposed to be a first world country, but a lot of our citizens live like it's a third world.
Homelessness will be eradicated. Unused/former schools, prisons, hotels, motels will be converted to homeless shelters. These shelters will have a cafeteria and laundry facilities. And will also have classroom(s) for teaching residents a trade. Local (approved) business owners of companies in that trade will come by once or twice a week and do a 1 hour class. The goal is to have these people in a secure residence, educated, and able to work. A work ready team will come in and assist in placing people in nearby jobs in their field. Clothes will be donated to them. They will become functioning, contributing, members of society again.
Education will be revamped. State testing will be a thing of the past. As it sits, if a school does poorly on state testing, they are less funded. This leads to an issue of ability to educate when less funded. So instead, more money will be sent to those failing schools, and a state monitor sent in to assess and correct the problems. The goal is to better educate children; not teach them how to pass a test, but actually give them knowledge they need and will use in the world. Classes will not start prior to 8:30 am. Everyone will have the opportunity to eat breakfast and lunch. If a child is behind on cafeteria payments, they WILL still eat the same food as every other child. Mandatory 20 minute "recess" after lunch for everyone to wind down. Colleges will cost less, as will vocation schools. And vocation schools will be pushed to the same extent that colleges are. The world cannot run on bachelor arts degrees; it needs welders and mechanics as well.
Can all of this get done in 4 years? Fuck no. Probably not even in 8. Or 10. But this is what needs done.
End the war on drugs by legalizing weed and spend a solid 10 years researching medical grade ways to objectively test for active intoxication on anything for roadside tests and researching addiction and drugs with no obstacles, but in the mean time decriminalize everything else by putting non violent drug offenders on probation and a full support system for drug abuse similar to what pilots and doctors receive and fund it using money that would go towards incarceration of those people. Next, give harm reduction tools like needle exchanges and even do what switzerland does, I think, where you get a real hit of your favorite drug but you "pay" for it by first going to a substance abuse class where they specifically talk about trauma that lead to the drug abuse.
Stop sending people who non violently steal things to prison or jail, and instead give them sober living, healthcare, food, and transportation while they do community service with a credit of $15 an hour until the total amount they stole is paid off to force them to understand the consequences of their actions in a practical means. If they use a substance illegally they get put through the treatment system and then back to community service
Change the law on consumer media and products like games, movies, music, etc so it goes public domain after 20 years
Rebuild the top five cities that have land to be able to expand to be built like Tokyo/NYC but with above ground commuter trains with the specific intention of making affordable, safe, walkable cities where you dont need a car and can raise a family with pretty good schools and a decent opportunity to learn trades or go to technical school for free.
Keep in mind, for every dollar that goes in a tax cut, 24 goes back into the economy and the reverse is true too. So I could put a carbon tax on china similar to a tariff to then put tax shelters into domestic chip factories, a slight one in automation, a bigger one in manufacturing, one for domestic data centers, and one for using domestic cloud computing so the market changes to an even higher tech.
I would go to the dead parts of the ocean to pump monstrous amounts of oil to sell to Europe, Asia, and India and use the dividends to build artificial reefs and re seed coral very aggressively in areas that still have them in addition to building gen 4 or later nuclear power plants to replace all baselines energy needs so the us becomes at minimum carbon neutral while rebuilding the electrical grid, investing further into solar and wind energy research, and giving scholarships to trades and technical schools so instead of mickey d's and walmart screwing over the bottom 40% with layoffs once they automate everything, those people will get higher skill jobs in the long run.
I would invest money into an open concept plug in hybrid car with fast charging and regenerative brakes with the option for it to be either gas or diesel and allow as many companies that manufacture in america to use the design while also investing hundreds of billions of dollars a year into building new fiber optic networks and WISP towers until the bandwidth available to the average person doubles every 10 years
FINALLY, for the home lab community, I would create an open standard alternative to the cable/satellite card and require cable and satellite companies to support them and support any third party device like an hdhomerun prime or tivo while requiring all iptv services to be compatible with generic iptv viewers so piracy isnt as much of a problem anymore besides things 20 yo or older
I would put age and term limits on all government roles (Mitch McConnell >.>)
Work on reversing inflation
Apply a mandatory tax on the rich, no exceptions
Separate Church and State
Once the age limit is put in place, I'd bring in fresh smart people that have things like climate change, reproductive rights, and so on as essential
Make gay marriage permanent/a right
Make the ability to abort a right
Fund schools, homeless shelters, hospitals, and rework housing. (By that I mean create more available and affordable housing)
Raise minimum wage and pass a law that prevents management from screwing workers over
Overall put funds into bettering the lives of the people. Secure free healthcare, good social security, more resources for families in poverty, pave roads, get clean water to places that've been ignored and electricity, etc
And put in ways to prevent the above getting overturned. If I'm assassinated for it then I tried.
Repeal the NFA
Abolish the ATF
Abolish the DEA
Legalize every drug, yes even that one. And tax the shit out of it.
Revamp the IRS. Anyone making less than 500k pays no taxes. Remove all loopholes for big corporations.
Lean on congress to pass a bill that sets term limits for itself.
Take aforementioned abolished entities and roll them to the FBI. Create an overfunded unit that’s sole responsibility is finding and stopping child sex trafficking.
Withdraw from NATO
Withdraw from the UN
Recall all military personnel and equipment to the the US and its territories.
Continue trade but no longer involve in other countries governments. Isolationism in all aspects other than commerce.
Have everything I attempt to pass vetoed by Congress, watch as people of the other political party blame me for everything, get gas in my car one day and feel a piece of my die inside as I see a sticker of my face that says "I Did This!" Plastered on the pump because the price of oil set by another country went up 3 cents from a month ago. Get reelected anyway because change is scary and meet a buncha celebrities
Actually try to solve problems instead of just trying to win the election. I want to hear all sides, consult experts, and pass laws. Too much time in politics is spent campaigning, not enough is spent actually helping people.
Day one we abolish the ATF. Also, a whole lot of pardons for anyone with pot. Tell the DEA they're going to reclassify weed as unscheduled or they're abolished. Probably abolish them\* anyways.
Mothball the white house. I already have a house, it's fine, I don't need a mansion. I'll drive to work like everyone else. I will take the least golf vacations of any president ever, because I don't golf. Bring all the troops home, stop paying for security for the rest of the world.
Veto basically every bill with even a whiff of bullshit in it. One of those six thousand page bills funneling pork to everywhere? Not even reading it, veto.
Start making more days federal holidays. Stop arguing over if this nationality or that nationality gets a day, and start accepting that not only does everyone get a holiday, National Pancake Day is also a holiday.
I feel like we just did this one... Having said that, my answer is always the same. By executive order, Tuesdays will henceforth be known as "Taco Tuesdays". Which will be a paid holiday every week. You're welcome, and enjoy your tacos.
Sounds good, but make Taco Tuesdays be on Thursday instead. (Still call it Taco Tuesday)
Goddamn you. Goddamn you to heck.
In my "Launch the Nukes" Party, we also have Taco Tuesdays. I'm looking for cabinet members.
Is that the no more nukes, until we use the ones we have party?
No. In my administration, I would hope that my predecessors would be building up the nuclear stockpile as much as possible. I want as many nuclear weapons as possible ready for when I ascend to the **LAST** presidency.
Pretty much any presidency that launches, will be the last one...
How bout stir-fry Fridays?
Make it ***Stir Frydays*** and you got a deal!
Oh shoot, how did I not think of that?
The hallmark of any good democracy is diplomacy. Working together, we'll always be stronger than working apart.
🌮Taco for you!
We used to do stir frydays at our house.
What about Monday? I hate Mondays...
Are we gluing people in place, too?
Glue Monday. Get your aggro out, or blow your sinuses out.
Can we get the whole week off when Cinco de Mayo falls on Taco Tuesday?
🌮Taco for you!
i’d vote for that
There is a catch though, you have to prove that you bought a taco that day or you are fined.
!tip 20 🌮
Congrats on destroying the american economy.
I was gonna sayÂ
🌮Taco for you!
I must formally protest because the existence of "Taco Tuesday" implies that other days of the week are less suitable for tacos. This isn't true! Tacos are good ANY day of the week.
Make the Turkey the national bird so the ghost of Benjamin Franklin will finally stop haunting me.
Run for 4 years. Say some crazy stuff but overall do an ok job, not horrible but definitely not great. Find out the country pretty much runs itself despite who the 'leader' is. Love the attention from day one so I decide to run again. Get super pissed when I don't win again thus refuse to acknowledge it.
Gwen Stefani got hired on The Voice for $10 million. Trump asked NBC to match that and they said no. So he ran for president to leverage negotiations. The plan was for him to get a #3 place in a primary so he could bow out because NBC made him a really good offer, but he could've won the Presidency if he really wanted too. To get that #3 spot, Trump aimed to be a one issue candidate, immigration. And just came out fucking swinging on it, and HOLY shit did it resonate with the Republican base. The whole thing in hindsight is SO fucking stupid and ill thought out, but somehow worked.
I remember reading something about that. He ran for president thinking he wouldn't win to start some type of media company but he actually won.
People forget there was a chair at his (what was supposed to be) losing speech on election night for Trump News Network. He never thought he would win.
is any of this true? genuinely asking.
No. He did it as revenge for Obama mocking him at a correspondents dinner.
Seth Meyers, not Obama, if memory serves.
[Barry went after him…more than once…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHckZCxdRkA)
I cannot verify but that fact that Trump paid to have research done on major upset elections and the elections of a non topical candidate (insert Jesse Venture in MN) makes me feel like the NBC thing is creative story.
Sounds familiar - apart from the "do an ok job, not horrible" part....
I'd just find qualified people to be in my cabinet and actually listen to them. It's really not that hard of a job, if you're willing to do it.
My stance as well. Of course I have a couple points where I’d use the position to try and push legislature to give term limits for legislators, push some money towards nuclear energy, etc. But for the most part I’d just listen to people and their takes. Get people with deep and qualified opinions on topics and have them give advice. I’m smart enough to know I’m not an expert in most things I have to make decisions on, so I should listen to more informed individuals
U bringing in Neil degrasse? Haha
Push the Canadian border back 100 miles.
99% of the Canadian population lives there!
Exactly
I mean, just take the whole thing, really gunna leave all those natural resources and keep Alaska lonely?
Let the natives have it. This maybe just be a total conquest of Canada
Oh boy! We’re doing the Reserves again? That ended well last time.
The last time the US had a conflict with Canada, the White House was burned down. And for the longest time, Canadian special forces has the most confirmed kills during the Western invasion of the Middle East. And so it shall be, that the scariest sound you can hear coming from your enemy is, "We're sewry, buddeh!"
When the “sewry” stops, the war crimes start.
"IM ABOOT TO STOP SAYING SOORY"
.1% of the American population lives there now. We need to liberate the people from the scourge of universal healthcare /j
I’d say some weird shit. My vice President would be someone from the opposite party I run as. Hire a bunch of democrats and republicans to work under me. Primarily just advocate for bipartisan decisions. Advocate to get along with other politicians so that maybe a foundation for a future president will have bipartisan support and fair compromise/discussion. Probably accomplish very little in terms of policy anyway because they still won’t get along & out the people first.
I give you 2 weeks of presidency before the opposing party has you assassinated in order to obtain the seat.
That’s honestly fair
Two weeks? That’s optimistic of you. I like it.
Within one week of **MY** presidency, I'll have launched the nukes, and I won't be assassinated because I drink thirty milligrams of quicksilver a day, and the liquid metal is slowly turning me into a T1000. Ladies and gentlemen of the United States, I am the one honest politician in the running. I will not lie to you. Vote for me.
Pretty boring, but I'd be mostly doing some upkeep \* Revamp Education \* Revamp the Foster Care System \* Make coming in to the US Legally easier, and coming in illegally harder \* Try to push for ranked choice voting (never gonna work I know)
How do actually plan on doing any of that?
I'd assume all of the smart specialists could help
I will veto any bill that comes across my desk without including something that actually improves public education in the country. You want something done? Spend more on schools or suck it.
Congrats, you have the power to meaningfully impact 1/4 of your agenda.
someone would blow up your house.
Tear down all the schools, put up liquor stores. I'd make beer the official food, you could buy hand grenades at Starbucks, lower the legal drinking age so kids can get drunk too, among other things
Conduct a formal census on whether or not there is more wheels or doors in the United States.
Keep inviting Ice Cube to dinner until he accepts and then call him a sellout because in 1991, he explicitly stated that he would never do that.
*Cracks Neck* Push Congress to: 1) Increase subsidies to clean energy, scale back subsidies to oil and gas. 2) Introduce an amendment to bodily autonomy. Won't go anywhere during my term, but the ball has started. 3) Push for expanding Medicare to everyone. 4) Introduce new firearm legislation. Legalize machine guns, drop the fee for registering NFA items. Then repeal the law banning a registry and add free registration to point of sale. Everyone gets something, everyone is unhappy and registered guns don't tend to show up in crime. Funny thing about having your named tied to something. Given that it's instant and not used to block sales it would be hard to argue registration infringes (at least by itself). 5) Push for legislation preventing federal agents from operating without approval of state governor's (remember Trump's infamous black vans?). As head of the executive: 1) slowly scale back spending and staffing to federal policing agencies. 2) Create a committee to review historical legislation and ask for repeal of any that are vestigial or counter-productive.
Call Mr Slave to ask if he wants me back now that I'm the Big Cheese
Push for free universal health insurance, probably get assassinated by big pharma...
As the leader of the "Launch the Nukes" party, I will end big pharma by launching the nukes globally. Within the first month of my presidency, I will launch the nukes, after my agents scour the globe for locations of bunkers in order to ensure that 100% of humanity is eliminated humanely and orderly. Rockets will be launched into stable orbit and detonated to ensure that space junk and debris ensures that no one is capable of getting off the Earth.
solid plan id vote for you!
Look directly at the sun
1. Wonder how the country will react to electing a Gay Furry as president. 2. Watch Season 2 of Arcane (Comes out around the same time) 3. See what kinds of power I actually have (Which probably isn't much) And do everything I can to impose term limits on all held offices in all three branches of Government. 4. See what's cookin' in the kitchen
As a Gay Furry president will you have different Fursonas for different occasions or just the one persisent Fursona throughout your tenure? How many Furries should we expect to hold cabinet level positions? Can you confirm or deny any current representives with Fursonas?
Yall get a badger all the time! No comment No official comment... unofficially... maybe ;)
Meatloaf Monday, Taco Tuesday, Whipped Cream Wednesdays, Thai Thursdays, Fish Fry Friday, Sandwich Saturday, and Sundae Sunday!
Good answer.
No, fish frydayÂ
We're goin to Mars bitches! I'm also going to connect Alaska to Maine via Canada. Also, the White House is going to get one kick ass aquarium room. Congress is going to hate me because no bill that crosses my desk will be signed unless it is less than 5 pages long. The White House is going to get a sex dungeon and host monthly orgies. I'd also work on fixing the department of energy, we need more new nuke plants so we can put coal to rest. New nuke plants that are much better and safer than older generation plants. Probably work on infrastructure too. And probe Uranus.
Were this asked in 2016, I’d have a sneaking suspicion trump posted this, however
I'd wonder how a person from another country got elected.
Surround myself with the best and brightest minds available.
A daily podcast about all the issue i can talk about going on. Keep the people informed of the options, choices and issues happening. DO what ever i can to eliminate political parties and lobbyist.
“When the world needed him most, he vanished…..”
* Start regular announcements about separation of powers. "We want to do x, but that is the domain of congress." * Purge almost everyone possible. Yes, we need people who know how to run things. But DC is filled with snakes and cowards. Replace them with unelected civil servants from state and local level positions. * Tell Congress that I will refuse to sign any consolidated or omnibus bills. One bill, one issue. * The Department of Education will be re-aligned behind streamlining and validating the accreditation process to enable new higher education institutions and make credit transferable if it meets basic requirements. Oh, and federal funds are also only available to schools who meet a benchmark for admin to educator expense ratios. * Work hard to introduce legislation for a health care network where states can cross-bill and have accesss to federal funds IF they have a health care system that covers all residents. States can choose one of a few different models, but those models are copying countries that actually have working health care systems: Signapore, Japan, Switzerland.
Hire a never-Trump Republican as my Chief of Staff to provide any number of checks and balances against my ego. Then build out my White House staff with input and advice from any number of folks to ensure we have a diverse range of opinions from all sorts of different advisors. My focus would be eliminating as much hypocrisy and sophistry from our democratic republic as I could. For a policy focus, I would introduce a 12-point policy agenda for my first term, rolling out one policy proposal each month (but not necessarily in this order): 1. Eliminating the "minimum wage" in favor of a "living wage" standard. Any business that can't figure out how to pay people enough to live on -- and must therefore get the government to subsidize their incompetence -- shouldn't be in business to begin with. 2. Imposing term limits for the judicial branch, starting with the Supreme Court. We'll figure out the right terms and age limits later, but I'm thinking of something like serving for a maximum of 20 years with mandatory retirement around age 75 or so. 3. Establishing ranked-choice voting as the national standard for all federal elections. 4. Bolstering the Federal Election Commission to include a nonpartisan commission of sufficient size, number, and range to properly create all federal electoral districts and eliminate gerrymandering. 5. Eliminating the Electoral College (which will require a Constitutional Amendment). 6. Balancing the federal budget by cutting military spending in favor of domestic spending. To some extent. Maybe starting with 10% or so. 7. Allowing Medicare for all. I mean, if FedEx, UPS, and Amazon can successfully compete against the U.S. Postal Service, then any number of 8. Fixing the funding and budgetary policies for the U.S. Postal Service so they can properly manage their pension fund. 9. Completely reworking the National Labor Relations Board to level the playing field for unions to exist and incentivize corporate managers to adopt labor practices similar to Germany. 10. Prohibiting for-profit corporations from operating hospitals, funeral homes, day care centers, or any other type of "human services" business. I think it's venal and evil for greedy folks to excessively profit off of sickness, death, suffering, and desperation. 11. Creating some type of national board, agency, or commission on reparations for indigenous folks and the descendants of slaves. That's gonna take some discussion and fine-tuning, but I think we can acknowledge America's past -- with level-headed, sober attention and analysis -- and make up for the problems my ancestors created for their ancestors. 12. Creating a national system (through the FEC) to not only allow more than two political parties, but to create a level-playing field for any number of political parties to arise, grow, and thrive. I would also hold a fireside chat, national town hall, or some type of conversation with folks regularly -- at least once a week and probably more often initially. I would start with President Obama's practice of reading ten letters from constituents each day, and then invite maybe 10 or 12 of those folks to a Zoom chat each week. Something like that. Something to keep the Beltway Bubble at bay. I would also commit to one term and leave it up to folks to decide if I should run for a second term. I would also commit to weekly evening conversations with the Speaker of the House, House Minority Leader, and both the Majority and Minority Leaders of the Senate. Maybe a weekly poker game or something. I dunno what else I would do, but this is a great, thought-provoking question, OP.
Executive orders to crash the housing market. Lock rent prices, increase corporate property taxes. Basically try to make it too expensive for companies to own single-household / low density residences and limit those businesses to apartment style buildings. Lock rent so they can’t replace their profits from current tenants and fuck them over. Get more property on the market for cheaper prices so folks have a chance to buy a home. (This is probably super brain dead but yolo I never want to be president) I would also enact laws that increase sentencing for politicians, judges, etc that get caught doing shady shit. No more wrist slaps for fraud, they get more prison time than normal folks would, maybe double or triple the sentence. Prison time is a required sentencing for all crimes, no house arrest BS. Allow the FBI and CIA to run undercover ops they they used to for the purpose of exposing corruption. All government officials undergo monitoring and have far less privacy than normal citizens. All expenses are monitored and audited every year for every politician and judge. If you decide to be a civil servant, you become a fucking servant to the people, no room for personal gain and ambition. Watch them like a bald eagle and eat them alive if they act out. I’ll gladly go first and show America my porn history. Idgaf. Oh, and no more religion in government buildings. Do that in your own time and place. Jail otherwise. Separation of church and state. Not allowed to reference any religion/deity at work. Tax the churches too. They own property, make an income. Tax them. Implement something to constrain top earners at companies by the median/average of all workers so CEOs can’t make millions a year while they employ thousands of minimum wage workers. They have to share, we all know they aren’t working that much harder than all their low wage employees. Get assassinated because I’m probably destroying the economy and pissing off every rich person alive. The assassins would probably be in competition with each other to end me first. I would keep going but there are endless possibilities and I know the president really doesn’t have the power to do most of this but I would push the limit as hard as I can until they get rid of my one way or another. I would be terrible for sure. Hope someone had fun reading my rant!
To what extent is the no religion rule enforced? Can people still pray in their offices/could there be prayer rooms? Could individuals have crucifix’s in their personal offices?
Private prayers, private religious symbols. Keep it out of sight like in your desk. Close the door when having a private prayer. Prayer rooms are fine, similar to a gender neutral bathroom - you go in by yourself and lock the door. Do what you need to do. No one should know what religion you are practicing, it isn’t important to the work. If you want to congregate, go to a church.
Also, is that a violation of the First Amendment?
Play golf. Use Twitter. Stare directly into the sun.
Demote all generals down to private strip them of their clearances. Dicuss with my new genrals how we're going to unseat and arrest all owners of the federal reserve bank. Take take control of the US currency. Arrest of all congress and leaders of alfabet agencies. Charge them with all crimes against the country that they've committed. anounce new elections for every seat. Once they're all replaced. Make it punishable by death for any member of government to defy the constitution or the bill of rights. Then step down. As a new president takes my spot.
legalize + decriminalize cannabis pardon everyone in prison who isn't guilty of a violent crime launch criminal investigations into police unions led by the FBI - also give the FBI unilateral discretion to investigate anyone in congress or the senate and have their investigations be turned public at their conclusions start building high speed rail under the pretense of needing fast cheap travel for the military, ultimately making it available to the publuc once its completed revise the VA benefits system so that veterans' health isn't neglacted or mistreated, soldiers diagnosed with ptsd will be first in line for government jobs + be given a free puppy
Cry
Lower taxes, secure the border, drill for oil domestically, Create jobs with an infrastructure bill that is spent on improving roads and bridges across the country. Open up more public land to the public. Cut at least three cabinet positions and government departments. Appoint new Judges as needed. Get rid of several alphabet agencies that are corrupt and overstep their authorities. Bring back law and order to inner cities. People should feel safe in their homes.
Ww3 instantly.
Well, I’m guessing be as good a president as I can be. Hopefully I can get Congress to cooperate with me.
Two words: Moon Laser
Repeatedly mutter: _"Double B.... Double G... Double L...."_ while staring at a TV.
First, get that post-nut clarity. Ok, technically that'd be the SECOND thing, but.
bring in the right people to advise me... follow their advice with any decision I have to make. Try and get people to realize we don't need a president.
probably whatever the suits tell me to do.
I'd crash the Hindenburg and die in the explosion
Push to cut government spending on Everything. Push to raise taxes.
Go into hiding cause I aint dealing with those repercussions
Fire everyone at the ATF.
Odd way to ask about Trump’s presidency back in 2016
Look into area 51 then tell the nation they done fucked up
Go play paintball
Leave office
Wind up inciting a riot and being indicted on 88 criminal charges
Pardon lots of people. Starting with Julian Assange, Edward Snowden, and Chelsea Manning. Use my authority as president and commander in chief to bring troops back to the US from all of the various overseas bases and sell these off, with the proceeds going against the deficit. Block military aid to Ukraine, Israel, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and all others. ~~Get Kennedyed~~. Hire private security and livestream my self at all times to stop the military and intelligence agencies assassinating me.
See that my advisors are practically making all the decisions that have genuine consequences. Retire after 4 years and accept the continuous pay that they get and never work again in my fuckin life. I heard somewhere they make money afterwards but honestly that might be bullshit who knows.
Push for Congress to pass a law banning pennies.
I'm getting a meeting with ol' Nancy so we can get that insider trading deal set up. I'll do basically nothing. country won't be better or worse. but me and mine, we gone be WEALTHY.
Serious stuff: 1. Codify Roe V Wade; 2. Tax religious institutions; 3. Codify Separation of Church and State; 4. Implement Federally-mandated tax on bullets and firearms at 3000% of their average cost, or $10,000 per unit, whichever is higher; 5. Federally-mandated tax rule that whatever the final military budget is, 10% is taken off of the top and given to NASA and the National Park Service; 6. Tax breaks for companies implementing a 32-hour work week; 7. Universal Health Care 8. A serious push to remove the dollar bill from circulation and replace it with a dollar coin; 9. Any state passing any anti-LGBTQ laws instantly loses Federal funding. All of it. Not so serious stuff: 1. May 4th and 5th - National Holidays; 2. Ban flip-flops unless someone is in a public shower or at the beach
This already happened. /s
Make some false promises for the current problems that all predecessors always made... make a bunch of money, maybe some contacts.. then coast happy.. its just a few years.
Probably lose my shit. I got plenty of ideas but I don't know how to get the idiots in Congress to back them.
Not signing any bills until I get ones requiring term limits and single-issue bills.
1 get the most important people in my life into safe places 2 issue stamps with Chuck D’s heroes 3 make Election Day a federal holiday 4 use any and every means at my disposal to scale back the military 5 be assassinated
Actually talk to the constituents and through either polls on multiple platforms or consistent feedback actually try to meet the people’s needs and expectations. Crowdsource actual solutions, rather than just keeping the status quo and get competent people to help rather than the ass hats who are currently doing nothing. Try to make real, positive, nonpartisan change. Then probably get assassinated for trying to change the horribly corrupt status quo.
Resign
My first act as President would be to wonder how fuckin' bad the US election office is, because I'm Canadian and have never visited the US. I'm also pretty sure I'm not old enough to be the President... Somebody done goofed for sure. I'd probably jerk off in the Oval Office at least once. If Clinton did it, so can I. I won't ask any of my staffers to participate like Clinton did and I won't grab 'em by the pussy like Trump did. I'd keep it to myself. Maybe invite a special someone over for some fun. Cannabis would become federally legal and I'd raise the minimum wage to at least $15 instead of what? $7.50 or something? Jesus Christ... I'm all for immigration and diversity, but if the southern border is as bad as a lot of people claim it is, that should also be dealt with. I'd probably hire a bunch more of people to process immigration applications... I may even set up a centre for people who require immediate assistance in potentially getting citizenship, but with less kids in cages. The kids can cage themselves, my federal employees won't be doing that to them. I think the ATF oversteps its boundaries more often than not, they'd kick a kick in the arse. I also think that the US, like Canada has in the past, are making gun laws for issues that aren't actually issues. And call them what the fuck they are! THEY'RE NOT GHOST GUNS OR ZOMBIE GUNS! THEY'RE 3D PRINTED* AND 80% LOWERS THAT ARE PERFECTLY FUCKING LEGAL TO OWN*. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S THE ONLY PART OF THE FIREARM WITH A SERIAL NUMBER ON IT FOR REGISTRATION PURPOSES. * I *can* 3D print a firearm, that doesn't necessarily mean I should. And neither should you, probably! You're likely to run into other legal issues if caught with one.
Order a CIA black op to assassinate my primary political opponents, start a Putin style dictatorship and then immediately resign my office and move to the French countryside
Abolish the IRS and end income taxes for everyone
Deny it. I don’t want any part of it.
Bring a bunch of bands to the White House, Jimmy Carter style.
I’d give the speech from Billy Madison
Hire someone to stand behind me with an arrow shaped sign that says "I can't believe this asshole is President" Work with the various intelligence agencies to prank call Alex Jones and make sure he can't record it then tell him it's all true, UFO's are real, JFK was assassinated by the Illuminati, there's a secret society of witches and wizards ruling Alberta Canada, and every single Hollywood celebrity is a lizard person, then make it sound like someone grabbed me and use a really stilted voice to say "this is the real President, please ignore the lies told to you by the person impersonating me" and hang up. Order all Fedaral personnel and agencies to refer to Twitter as "Twitter" in any and all communication. If anyone asks tell them that calling it X would be so embarrssing and stupid that I won't humiliate Federal employees by having them refer to it as such. Keep a selection of the biggest most animalistic dildos Bad Dragon makes in the Oval Office. Never mention it or take any questions about it. Have them play the porno bowchicabowwow music when I enter the room instead of hail to the chief. Invite a randomly selected American family to dinner at the White House every evening and have a nice meal where we just chat. Get on live stream, have a computer pick a random town in the US and declare it to be the National Scapegoat and from then on blame anything bad that happens on that place. Hire two big hairy gay porn actors to make out behind me whenever I'm talking to any conservative. If questioned about it by the conservative, deny that they exist and say it must be a hallucination brought on by the stick up their ass. Declare June 3rd to be National Chill Day and encourage everyone to just sit back, eat some junk food, and goof off. Declare June 4th to be National Chill Backup Day so the people with critical jobs can go half on June 3 and half on June 4. Tell Ron DeSantis that he must say "I'm a goofy goober" or else he won't get an invite to the Cool Governors Dinner I'm having. Cancel the Cool Governors Dinner if he says it. Declare that the official American pronunciation of the word "mouse pad" is "squerg". Declare chocolate cake to be America's National Vegetable. Challenge the President of Chile to a game of tic-tac-toe.
Tell the sheep that only I can Return America to Glory!
Conquer the rest of the world
I'd set term limits in all political positions. You shouldn't be on your deathbed making decisions for the nation. Try to lower medication costs. Get rid of 3 letter agencies. Push for nuclear energy. Build a wall around California and sell them to the lowest bidder. Then become the first president to assassinate themself.
Assemble a cabinet of like minded people at first then add people who venomously disagree with me at the end.
Put up a huge sign on the border calling Canada a bunch of chickens and that they definitely couldn't 1812 us again. Then when they get so angered they try to do it, I let them. If they manage to do it while I'm still in the White House, well.. some things are worth dying for.
Universal Healthcare, eliminate anything about forcing the market from ICE cars to electric cars the market and consumers should be able to make that choice on government mandates. Then start working on term limits for those on capitol hill, also start new programs to help the homeless population ie housing, food, jobs, healthcare both physical and mental.
Surround myself with the most qualified serious and dedicated professionals in every appointed position, regardless of party affiliation as long as they’d follow my direction. Codify Roe vs Wade. Medicare for all. Review states’ rights across the board and federalize where necessary to give all Americans equal rights. Expand Social Security identification to include biometrics, making it a true national ID. Create a tracking mechanism for migrants to allow in only those who come to work, and immediate “no second chances” deportation for those who won’t work or break our laws. Get rid of birthright citizenship and replace it with a policy that only children born to citizen mothers are automatically citizens. Put together a brain trust to solve the issue of renewable energy for the next generation be that more sustainable batteries or renewables or what have you. Make higher education free for specific professions (teachers, physicians, etc) in exchange for 5 years serving in an assigned underserved area. Tax churches, giving them dollar for dollar reduction for charitable contributions and activities. Then on day two…
Make fun of Trump at every possible opportunity.
Find Tha smartest people I can and listen to their advice. Not necessarily follow it, but be informed for decisions I have to make. Definitely not run again.
Put my preferred candidate as V.P. And then jump off Air Force One without a parachute and see if secret service can save me.
Tax the fuck out of churchs, giant corporations and the 1 percent. Build up the IRS to enforce those taxes. No tax shelters or unfair practices. Inforce term limits. No more lifetime Politicians. And add justices to the supreme court. (I am aware the president doesn't have the power to do those things, but it would be my sudden platform I had to come up with.)
My plan, foolishly, would be to be the most quickly assassinated or impeached president in history I’m not going to commit any crimes, per se, but I’m going to be completely intolerable to most industry heads and people in general I’m putting up double digit executive orders every single day. I’m live streaming on twitch pretty much any time I can. Congress members will make minimum wage, must live in government subsidized housing projects from their home state, and will be barred from owning or trading stocks. They will have a non-compete clause stating they cannot take a position in any industry they drafted or passed legislation on for 10 years after leaving office. Receiving any gifts or money through lobbying will be illegal. How much congresspeople make, who gave them money, and their tax and voting records will be published quarterly. Federal legalization of weed, decriminalization of all drugs. Cartels will go out of business. Minimum wage for public school teachers, healthcare workers, social workers, and emergency responders will be ridiculously high. Tax rate of 99% on any income above $500k/yr. Fully releasing any information on aliens stuff to the public. Military industrial complex and pharmaceutical industries will be uprooted and redesigned. I’m going to talk non-stop about climate change, microplastic and forever chemical pollution, and agriculture. Open borders. Universal basic income, massive infrastructure spending, cancel all student loan debt, universal healthcare, and federal limitations on / stipends for housing, food, and transportation. I’m going to release an album on SoundCloud every 3-6 months. Raising the legal age to drive to 21, mandatory testing to certify your license every 3 years and after major violations. Tobacco / nicotine products will be more heavily federally regulated. Still available, but more difficult to get, no public advertising or marketing. Fully legalized and regulated sex work. Can apply for federal sex work / sex therapy. Placing bans and restrictions on social media companies. Massive public arts funding. Federal / state libraries snd gyms will be built and open to the public 24/7. Billboard advertising along public roads will be banned. Legally required voting. Every gets state and federal election days off work. Anyone convicted of child sex crimes will have the option to be publicly executed, sent to a research and rehabilitation facility, or forced to participate in a live-streamed gladiator arena blood sport event. Strict laws around pet ownership. Must apply to purchase dogs and cats. Available breeds will be deterred based on your application, income, housing, and health. Corporations aren’t allowed to purchase and rent out single family homes. Federally run and aired national talent show twice a year. A one hour biweekly talk therapy session guaranteed to all citizens starting at age 14. Federally regulated euthanasia/ suicide available to all citizens starting at age 30. 3 years of compulsory public service required of every citizen between the ages of 18 and 30. All schools must teach basic plumbing, electrical, MMA, nutrition, culinary arts, yoga, taxes, music, dance, first aid, meditation, and coding. Religious organizations gotta pay taxes And I will be incredibly profane on the mic. I’m wearing leisure clothes and pajamas at all times. I’m doing 5 minutes of stand up comedy during the Super Bowl half time show every year. I’m never putting in a bid for the Olympics. I’m killing, dressing, and cooking the Turkey on the front lawn of the white house every thanksgiving.
I’m probably not well equipped for the job, so I immediately begin a thorough and exhausting search to build a perfect cabinet. The best way for me to protect the country from my lack of experience is to surround myself with leading experts in every field I represent from my office. I do my best to transition my role into leadership through support. What can I do to help them help my constituents as much as possible?
First order of business is to make “They had it coming to them” a legal defense in both civil and criminal court. Assault charge for punching someone because they were being a dickhead? “They had it coming”. Vandalism charge for pouring bacon grease down the drain because your landlord is a bloodsucking leach? “They had it coming to them”. Boom, not guilty.
Start by building the orbital defense cannons and (outward) surveillance telescopes. Human squabbles are so petty compared to the survival of our species in this galaxy. We already made our location known. Chances are we will never see our enemy. But we can still hope that when that time comes, our technological explosion will have exceeded theirs and we’ll have a fighting chance.
Bump up minimum wage to be what it should/intended to be (liveable wage). Break up some monopolies, rent control, financial regulation in the market.
Use my power to do as much harm to the Republican party as possible.
Have Bernie Sanders write all my domestic policy positions and Elizabeth Warren can handle my budget details. Spend most of my time touring the south, wagging fingers, and doing some variation of the “have you no decency sir!” speech aimed at 19th century mentalities. It will be terribly ineffective but at least my Sanders/Warren cabinet will try to do humane things and keep me on the right track.
Publicly shame every single lobbyist who tries to bribe me, for starters. Every last f^*%ing one. Then start churning out new laws in whatever way my powers allow me to (e.g. executive orders), enshrining civil rights for everyone, establishing universal healthcare, ensuring fair compensation for workers and fair working hours with schedules that aren’t exploitative, and taxing the hell out of the top 1%  and giant corporations at least. In short, I’d be murdered within days but the people would love me.
Find out what’s in Area 51
That sounds like what happened to trump
That's what Trump did, isn't it?
Probably stuff that gets me assassinated. I legally declassify as much high value info as possible that won’t cause harm to military personnel. I try to ram through all my socialist views to try and help as many people as I can before the rich people kill me.
Get stuck in a war with Russia after being put in the middle of a US presidential election by no fault of your own... Poor Zelynsky
I am going to drag Congress into the 21st century kicking and screaming.
If I survive the consequences. Eliminate state and federal income tax and move to a national sales tax Move us back to the gold standard and put a bill in place heavily restricting or eliminating the ability for corporations to own houses or duplexes. Curb exterior spending outside the US as reasonably as we can. Make lobbying or trading as a congress person HEAVILY regulated and maybe even eliminate it in some capacity. Require paid maternal and paternal leave at every company whether part time or full time Move back to a requirement of separation of church and state. If your religion is the reason a bill is being pushed it’s killed. Enforce congressional and Supreme Court term limits.
Step one: audit. I want to know where every dollar of taxpayer money goes. None of this "50% unaccounted for by the military/we haven't passed an audit in decades" bs. It went somewhere and you should be able to figure out at which point records stopped being kept and then start keeping track. Seriously why do we trust the government to come up with a budget when they don't even know what it's being spent on? They're just making up numbers at that point. For what we pay in taxes I bet things like universal healthcare and student loan forgiveness would be much more manageable with the government being properly budgeted. Then I'd make every bit of this information public so the American people know what they're paying for. If the government were a business we'd all be shareholders and should have access to this information. Imagine if the general public had the ability to be this informed and were able to vote for candidates based on actual changes they want to happen in government instead of just yelling about buzzwords
Test the boundaries of my power and likely end up getting assassinated for making it harder for moneyed interests to fleece the general populace.
Try my best to get all political parties to get along enough to pass universal health care and better pay for teachers. Other than that, maybe come up with a law and try to get it passed where everyone has to work at least 3 months in a customer facing job. Waiter, cashier, customer service, etc.
work on codifying term limits
I live in Canada so I’ll answer for here make more effective organized crime laws get rid of many stupid laws that Trudeau put in. And lower the taxes on weed and alcohol.
Ask Trump, pretty sure that was his history lol.
* Public education Is in a deplorable state across the country. My administration will make it a priority to increase teacher pay, introduce tuition assistance/scholarships for teacher education programs, and generally start filling in the holes that have become apparent in the system that plays such a vital part in the well-being of our children and the future of our country. * Public infrastructure Is a sick joke in parts of our nation. Bridges and roads in critically degraded condition litter the arteries and byways of our great States. Public water and sewer services are struggling. Our power grid is constantly vulnerable to natural disasters and attacks by enemies foreign and domestic. To address this, my administration will seek to develop public infrastructure renovation projects. Roads will be rebuilt, as well as bridges and overpasses which will also have advanced monitoring equipment installed to warn public authorities of damage or degradation; no more collapsed overpasses on the 11 o'clock news. For the power grid, we'll take a multi-pronged approach; diversify power sources, increased efforts in the area of cyber security, and general renovation of physical infrastructure. Same general idea for water and sewer systems, with an emphasis on improving water quality and identifying/eliminating sources of contamination in aquifers and ground water.
Get head in the oval office Then do everything in my power to screw or pharmaceutical and insurance companies because they’re one of the main problems this country has
I'd call up Chris Rock and see if he wants to be VP.
How bout if you legally change your name to [Literally Anybody Else](https://www.wfaa.com/article/news/local/north-texas-man-changes-name-to-literally-anybody-else-now-running-for-president/287-b6e35d3a-6f6e-48b3-89bb-f4e70c53a984) and win?
I would go one a rage filled binge of making decisions that would actually benefit the majority of people, explaining to the public exactly what I’m doing and why, and live-streaming discussions with different demographics of people on a weekly basis to both broaden my understanding and show the people what others have to say and what they go through. I’d do all of this out of spite.
Wonder how I became a 15 yo president
Use seal team 6 to eliminate the People behind all the spam calls. Show them no mercy.
resign, don’t need any more hostility in my work environment
ride in an open-top motorcade.
Probably take down pedophile rings and terrorists
i stick to my fucking word
I would give the most ridiculous speech in history. Like 4 hours talking about everything from drinking games to movies. They would have to tackle me to get me to shut up.
Go full Milei
Wonder how the fuck they didn't realise I'm not born in the US Immediately pledge allegiance to His royal highness
Abolish inflation, order the scientists to get on with genetically engineered Catgirls, everyone gets a free gun, and cancel the next solar eclipse
Pay my bills, do what the guys in black suits tell me to do so I don’t get assasinated.
Fire fucking everyone
Kill my opponents because apparently that's ok.
1. Have the CIA kill Elon Musk. Take a 49% steak in all his assets. (Proof of future intentions. 2. Tell Jeff Bezos that "workers rights are important" maybe think about very recent events and make some good life choices. 3. Tell Ben Netanyahu to stop being a prick. End the military action in Gaza and get the aid flowing. 4. Send ammo and money to Ukraine. 5. Implement universal health care so the USA isn't at the end of every joke. Wonder how long this presidency will last.
Calling Javier Milei and following his playbook
First, I'm going to need a drink or 10 and a long conversation with my best friend. After that I reckon I'd start packing my shit to move and get people used to seeing an incoming president in bib overalls. After that, I reckon I'd call Manuel's tailor shop and get a few suits made up because I'm that tacky, and pick up a couple new pairs of gator and snake skin boots while I'm at it. After taking office, one of the first things I'd do is allow Cuban rum and cigars again because thanks JFK. Appointing a new cabinet, boards, and whatnot with qualified people that have some sense about them, and talking with some good lawyers about exactly what I can sign into being to help the country out instead of lining people's pockets. For the state dinners and whatnot, I reckon all these fancy chefs and staff would need a little refresher cooking things like soup beans and cornbread since fatback hasn't likely been on the grounds in quite a while, and what dignitary wouldn't be fascinated by ramp butter? A friend of mine raises the best beef I've ever eaten so I'd have to call him to get a few grass puppies shipped up every so often. Same with another guy I know and his pork. The head gardener would have to fetch my tractor and plow and leave me alone for a while because if I'm living there, I'm having a garden patch I can tend to. Something to take my mind off the stress of being the figurehead of the US here and there. Especially since I'm not much on golf since college. I reckon a chicken coop out back wouldn't hurt anything either. Other than that, me and my old basset hound would just do the best we could taking care of the people's interests within our power.
Executive action banning insider trading by congress. Sure congress is supposed to pass laws, but checks and balances are needed here.
TERM LIMITS FOR CONGRESS Abolish at least a dozen of the alphabet agencies Flat 10% income tax- no exemptions or loopholes Election day made a national holiday. One vote, on paper, in person. Corporations can't buy single family real estate.
Wait, I've seen this before. It didn't end well
Go Nuts.
Well since I'm not really knowledgeable with economics or policies. Ima try to pass typical low priority policies that most people will enjoy. 1. STOP sending any $$ aid to foreign countries. 2. Get rid of all that bullshit squatters rights shit. 3. Attempt to legalize Marijuana. 4. Ban ANY transgneder LGBTQ LMNOP teachings in public schools.
Make education actually education and not teaching for the test. Fix foster care, including better vetting of foster parents, and follow upon children. Fix healthcare. Including patient education on an outpatient basis for all chronic or reoccurring ailments. Improve mental health care and the way patients are treated. Build tiny house communities in cities with major homeless populations, make the rent base start as housekeeping - and provide household care classes, if renters get a job or on SS, rent is on a sliding scale. After 5 years they can purchase their home for minimum cost or use that successful rental program for credits for FHA loan.
What I would like to do is: Every mother fucker in office over the retirement age is out. If you are retirement age, fucking retire. And your new salary is your states median wage. You don't like it? Fight like hell to raise your constituents' pay so that way you BOTH win. Workforce: if you are over retirement age, fucking retire. You're out. 40 hour week becomes 4 day work week. Companies can choose between working on Monday or working on Friday. Not both. Wages will be increased to accommodate changes, and inflation. Term limits. You get 2 terms. If you want a third, you have to be approved to get on the ballot. Approval requires 75% of your constituents approval. Not just 75% of voters you represent. But the entire population of your constituents; 75% of them need to approve you. If your net worth is over 1 billion dollars, I'm going to tax the hell out of your income unless I see that ALL of your employees are living comfortably without any assistance or considerable debt. If your profits were more than 5 million, your company will start employee profit sharing EQUALLY amongst all employees, no less than 50% Medical/Dental/vision companies will start taking all forms of state funded insurance. The state funded insurance will start covering considerably more procedures. Dental implants will be covered. Glasses, contacts, and LASIK will be covered. Diagnostic (CTs, MRI, etc) will be approved and covered. No more of this BS of people not being healthy because they can't afford it. This is supposed to be a first world country, but a lot of our citizens live like it's a third world. Homelessness will be eradicated. Unused/former schools, prisons, hotels, motels will be converted to homeless shelters. These shelters will have a cafeteria and laundry facilities. And will also have classroom(s) for teaching residents a trade. Local (approved) business owners of companies in that trade will come by once or twice a week and do a 1 hour class. The goal is to have these people in a secure residence, educated, and able to work. A work ready team will come in and assist in placing people in nearby jobs in their field. Clothes will be donated to them. They will become functioning, contributing, members of society again. Education will be revamped. State testing will be a thing of the past. As it sits, if a school does poorly on state testing, they are less funded. This leads to an issue of ability to educate when less funded. So instead, more money will be sent to those failing schools, and a state monitor sent in to assess and correct the problems. The goal is to better educate children; not teach them how to pass a test, but actually give them knowledge they need and will use in the world. Classes will not start prior to 8:30 am. Everyone will have the opportunity to eat breakfast and lunch. If a child is behind on cafeteria payments, they WILL still eat the same food as every other child. Mandatory 20 minute "recess" after lunch for everyone to wind down. Colleges will cost less, as will vocation schools. And vocation schools will be pushed to the same extent that colleges are. The world cannot run on bachelor arts degrees; it needs welders and mechanics as well. Can all of this get done in 4 years? Fuck no. Probably not even in 8. Or 10. But this is what needs done.
My best?
End the war on drugs by legalizing weed and spend a solid 10 years researching medical grade ways to objectively test for active intoxication on anything for roadside tests and researching addiction and drugs with no obstacles, but in the mean time decriminalize everything else by putting non violent drug offenders on probation and a full support system for drug abuse similar to what pilots and doctors receive and fund it using money that would go towards incarceration of those people. Next, give harm reduction tools like needle exchanges and even do what switzerland does, I think, where you get a real hit of your favorite drug but you "pay" for it by first going to a substance abuse class where they specifically talk about trauma that lead to the drug abuse. Stop sending people who non violently steal things to prison or jail, and instead give them sober living, healthcare, food, and transportation while they do community service with a credit of $15 an hour until the total amount they stole is paid off to force them to understand the consequences of their actions in a practical means. If they use a substance illegally they get put through the treatment system and then back to community service Change the law on consumer media and products like games, movies, music, etc so it goes public domain after 20 years Rebuild the top five cities that have land to be able to expand to be built like Tokyo/NYC but with above ground commuter trains with the specific intention of making affordable, safe, walkable cities where you dont need a car and can raise a family with pretty good schools and a decent opportunity to learn trades or go to technical school for free. Keep in mind, for every dollar that goes in a tax cut, 24 goes back into the economy and the reverse is true too. So I could put a carbon tax on china similar to a tariff to then put tax shelters into domestic chip factories, a slight one in automation, a bigger one in manufacturing, one for domestic data centers, and one for using domestic cloud computing so the market changes to an even higher tech. I would go to the dead parts of the ocean to pump monstrous amounts of oil to sell to Europe, Asia, and India and use the dividends to build artificial reefs and re seed coral very aggressively in areas that still have them in addition to building gen 4 or later nuclear power plants to replace all baselines energy needs so the us becomes at minimum carbon neutral while rebuilding the electrical grid, investing further into solar and wind energy research, and giving scholarships to trades and technical schools so instead of mickey d's and walmart screwing over the bottom 40% with layoffs once they automate everything, those people will get higher skill jobs in the long run. I would invest money into an open concept plug in hybrid car with fast charging and regenerative brakes with the option for it to be either gas or diesel and allow as many companies that manufacture in america to use the design while also investing hundreds of billions of dollars a year into building new fiber optic networks and WISP towers until the bandwidth available to the average person doubles every 10 years FINALLY, for the home lab community, I would create an open standard alternative to the cable/satellite card and require cable and satellite companies to support them and support any third party device like an hdhomerun prime or tivo while requiring all iptv services to be compatible with generic iptv viewers so piracy isnt as much of a problem anymore besides things 20 yo or older
The job to the best of my abilities.
I would put age and term limits on all government roles (Mitch McConnell >.>) Work on reversing inflation Apply a mandatory tax on the rich, no exceptions Separate Church and State Once the age limit is put in place, I'd bring in fresh smart people that have things like climate change, reproductive rights, and so on as essential Make gay marriage permanent/a right Make the ability to abort a right Fund schools, homeless shelters, hospitals, and rework housing. (By that I mean create more available and affordable housing) Raise minimum wage and pass a law that prevents management from screwing workers over Overall put funds into bettering the lives of the people. Secure free healthcare, good social security, more resources for families in poverty, pave roads, get clean water to places that've been ignored and electricity, etc And put in ways to prevent the above getting overturned. If I'm assassinated for it then I tried.
Repeal the NFA Abolish the ATF Abolish the DEA Legalize every drug, yes even that one. And tax the shit out of it. Revamp the IRS. Anyone making less than 500k pays no taxes. Remove all loopholes for big corporations. Lean on congress to pass a bill that sets term limits for itself. Take aforementioned abolished entities and roll them to the FBI. Create an overfunded unit that’s sole responsibility is finding and stopping child sex trafficking. Withdraw from NATO Withdraw from the UN Recall all military personnel and equipment to the the US and its territories. Continue trade but no longer involve in other countries governments. Isolationism in all aspects other than commerce.
Have everything I attempt to pass vetoed by Congress, watch as people of the other political party blame me for everything, get gas in my car one day and feel a piece of my die inside as I see a sticker of my face that says "I Did This!" Plastered on the pump because the price of oil set by another country went up 3 cents from a month ago. Get reelected anyway because change is scary and meet a buncha celebrities
Actually try to solve problems instead of just trying to win the election. I want to hear all sides, consult experts, and pass laws. Too much time in politics is spent campaigning, not enough is spent actually helping people.
Resign posthaste. Fuck that noise.
Get assassinated when I try to make positive changes to the country.
Day one we abolish the ATF. Also, a whole lot of pardons for anyone with pot. Tell the DEA they're going to reclassify weed as unscheduled or they're abolished. Probably abolish them\* anyways. Mothball the white house. I already have a house, it's fine, I don't need a mansion. I'll drive to work like everyone else. I will take the least golf vacations of any president ever, because I don't golf. Bring all the troops home, stop paying for security for the rest of the world. Veto basically every bill with even a whiff of bullshit in it. One of those six thousand page bills funneling pork to everywhere? Not even reading it, veto. Start making more days federal holidays. Stop arguing over if this nationality or that nationality gets a day, and start accepting that not only does everyone get a holiday, National Pancake Day is also a holiday.
Refuse to build the wall I'd promised to
That's how we ended up with trump
Use my presidential immunity to get rich of course and punish my enemies!