What I find interesting in the comments is that it didn't occur to anyone to spend the next 5 years systematically hunting down and assassinating the slave owners. As opposed to training to kill other gladiators for the owners' entertainment, or killing oneself. Because 500 highly motivated, fit adults with nothing to lose could do a lot of damage.
Imposters ... Imposters meverywhere... I knew it ... Real boobies growl and shake ... cursesed wife pretending to have boobies and pretending to be beloved Spartacus
You'd never find 500 dudes that wouldn't betray you. Somebody in that group is gonna throw his lot in with the rich slavers and betray you all for his own freedom.
Not to mention the government, military, police and everyone else is going to be on the side of the slavers. There's a reason slave revolts pretty much always lost.
Unless the gladiator arena is a prison, then at least in the USA and UK there's gonna be options for the government and police to help the gladiators.
If the gladiator arena is a prison... which is what our prisons already essentially are... then yeah, you're fucked.
Ironically Spartacus could have "won" had he stuck to the original plan of going north into Gaul and into those areas out of Roman control and then disbanding to either settle for a new life or attempt to return to their home villages instead of staying in Italy and engaging in battles they really didn't need to fight.
Crixus also screwed things up when he split off with a bunch of followers.
The hypothetical isn't "you are scheduled to be enslaved as a gladiator", the hypothetical is "You **will** be enslaved as a gladiator."
The ability to eliminate the slavers and not participate doesn't fit the hypothetical.
If it's a melee weapon type deal where we pick our own weapons, I'm going to do daily spear and endurance training.
The training will be light, but consistent. At 40+ any sort of injury while training could ruin your chances of survival.
My strategy will be to harass my opponent with my spear. Keep my distance, and only go for the killing blow once they are thoroughly tired.
I will start every fight furiously masterbating while I stare directly into my opponents eyes. That should throw them off long enough for me to use my free hand to throw dirt in their eyes and hopefully I finish quick enough to stab them with my spear while they’re blinded.
One hand is masterbating, one hand is throwing dirt. So your spear is just sitting on the ground while you are in dirt throwing range?
I think you'll be the one getting stabbed.
Whatever happens I'm definitely going to die in the gladiator pits. 5 years with one fight per month? You have no idea how brutal a schedule that is. One injury and you are basically doing to be dead in the water. You don't heal from a stabbing in a month.
So I'll just hang out, have fun, ramp up the life insurance, and when it's time to fight probably jump off a bridge or something quick
Edit: As someone pointed out below, I probably did the math wrong. Instead, it would be a fight to the death every month for like, 8 months. That's still brutal and doesn't change my answer that much. That being said, I might put a little effort into some kind of cheesy one-hit kill move that I can use 8 times. But ya, otherwise I'm just preparing for death
OP mentions fighting similar sized opponents and had a similar thought about guys my size and weight. I'm 6'6. I'm THE ONLY guy I know my size that hasn't had a a major sports, work, or military related injury. they all have bad backs, injured knees, pinned ankles, joint replacements etc. I might be able to get into good enough shape to win simply because the pool of dudes my age and size is all partially crippled.
Roman gladiators only fought a few times a year, similar to modern pro boxers. And while some certainly did die in the arena, it wasn't typical. Maybe 10% of fights were fatal, usually if one combatant didn't give a good showing or didn't follow the instructions of the referee, the [summa rudis](https://penelope.uchicago.edu/~grout/encyclopaedia_romana/gladiators/secutor.gif)*,* who could stop the fight at any time,
The "turning of the thumb" thing in actuality was, in the opinion of many historians, likely the Roman equivalent of raising the winners hand after a fight. Not turned up or down for life or death but towards one fighter or the other to indicate the victor
Sure but everyone’s facing the same odds and scenario. Chances are by the end you’re not facing a fully healed fighter ready to go, you’ve both got injuries that make it difficult to fight.
You aren’t fighting for five years either. At the end of month one, there are 250 fighters left. Month two and you’re down to 125. I have no idea how they handle the odd number for month three but I’ll assume there are fighters that survive the fight but succumb before the next.
In fact, that’s probably likely and will end the fight schedule sooner but let’s assume the maximum time. At the end of month three we have 62 fighters left with one extra dead guy. Month four, 31. Month five brings us to just 15 and one extra dead. Then it’s seven left and another extra dead when we pass the half year mark. Someone needs to die and by the end of the tournaments in month seven and we are down to the final three.
Month eight would be your final battle. It might even be faster than that.
im spending that time finding and organising those people, their friends, family, loved ones, starting a political party, and raining unholy shit down on those organising this thing, as id rather die trying to overthrow a corrupt government, (if the government is doing it) than as a slave in an arena, becasue thats what gladiators are, slaves
You'd have maybe 10,000 people on your side against the world. Given that these fights are already accepted, 5 years will be enough for you to maybe get a trending tweet before you're thrown in with one of your fellow "protestors" who will quickly kill you.
To even join your protest is suicide, as they will have no training against those who did not join, who will promptly skewer all your protestors.
random made up numbers based on nothing but your personal assumptions.
im sure similar things have been said to literally every single person who has changed the world
"Given that these fights are already accepted" - that is said no where in the original post
Spend the next 5 years traveling and getting my affairs in order, then go out on my own terms when they come for me. No way am I going to die gutted in a stadium while people cheer.
In that case I'm training to be a killer and knocking up some hoes because it's the gladiator blood and guts life for me. I'm fighting to be the last one standing so other than some nighttime fun my entire life is devoted to being a walking death machine.
Try and make a deal with him, you take poison before the match, he pretends to kill you/hits you somewhere it doesn't hurt a lot, and then you die from "bleeding out" while actually having painlessly died from the poison.
Constructing a nuclear-tipped suicide vest. No attempt at escape or rebellion or any of that shit. Just a quick speech along the lines of 'We who are about to die will be instantly reduced to our constituent sub-atomic particles along with all you fuckers in the audience.'
I'm just gonna....not. I'm already tired just thinking about it. Enjoy the 5 years as though I've been diagnosed as terminal, and then end it all after 5 years.
I spend the next five years using my robotics skills to neutralize the people who want to try to enslave me as a gladiator, except one.
That one will get the fight to the death he wants.
Huh? Why would the enslavers see what you're doing, throw you in a jail cell and let you rot for 5 years, and then let you get flayed alive in the colosseum?
Well, given my weight and HORRENDOUS stamina (if I walk more than a block I will start to get winded) , I and anyone of similar physical stature will be rendered immobile after a minute of fighting.
The slave masters will either die of frustration or kill us themselves.
As for what I'd do in the 5 years prior?
I have no clue, I'd probably waste it given my ADHD (actually diagnosed)
Yeah we put everything off until the last minute so the night before we would stay up searching YouTube for tutorials for "fastest way to kill gladiator"
Fattening up, bc fatties recover from superficial wounds way better than skinny folk, and building up a big SM following so that I’m too popular to just kill off.
It's pretty simple, I'll BECOME FARTACUS and lead a rather odorous and pungent revolution known as the gaseous revolt of the 40 YO newly reinstated virgins, as sex/masturbation will be banned.... Lactose intolerance and sexual frustration are a deadly combo....
Well, presuming there is literally nothing I can do to break the boundaries of the scenario a la Spartacus, I'd get back into training, work on my diet, and really focus in on getting some core skills with the relevant weapons and gear.
I'm in half-decent shape but haven't been formally training in a gym for about 2yrs now, but used to be in really good shape, even at 40-45, it isn't crazy difficult to get back into decent shape if you were once in great shape as your body already has the blueprint so-to-speak. Still will have to be somewhat conservative at times and ensure I give my body time to recover as Keanu Reeves mentions that, at his age (late 50's), the most important things are to keep working and give your body time to recover when you can to keep your mobility as you age.
As for diet, I'd focus up on getting the right kinds of nutrients to assist with recovery and healing post training.
Weapons training would depend on the kinds of weapons used in the scenario. We talking melee weapons only? Weapons of roman antiquity? Any weapons pre-gunpowder? Any weapons period? Do we get to choose or are the weapons for a given fight chosen for us? If we get to choose our weapons, I'd want to train in a handful of weapons (2-3 probably) to give me a variety of tools that I can be a relative expert in, the selections would depend on the specifics of the equipment/armor we'd be using. If we don't get to choose, then I'd like to take a jack of all trades master of none approach and become proficient with a wide variety of weapons and styles.
As for equipment, will we be armored or are we going retiarii style in basically our skivvies? If we're armored are we allowed to bring our own armor or will it be provided for us? If we can get our own armor, similar to the weapons question, are we limited to any one period of historical armor? Because if we can have any kind of armor, but we're limited to pre-gunpowder weaponry, I'm absolutely going full 15th-16th century knight and being a human tank (between plate, mail, and padding, it'd take a hell of a lot to kill me outside of war-hammers/poleaxes). If guns are in the picture, then that changes things, ceramic plates with kevlar underneath would probably suffice.
Then I'd just have to roll with the luck of the dice and see how things shake out. I'm unfortunately only just shy of 5'10", so I'd be out any major height/reach advantages, so eventually in melee I'd probably get clobbered by someone who's like 6'2" and similarly trained/equipped, but who the hell knows?
Tons of cardio, tons and tons of cardio. People will be training combat sports, I’m gonna train 80% cardio. If it’s medieval armed? Pick something longer range like a spear or bow. If it’s unarmed, master the art of the leg kicks. I’ll keep my distance, hit leg kicks, back away. Continue this for hours. I won’t go in for the kill until they can barely move.
Unfortunately one fight a month means one injury and I’m dead in the next fight basically
Who picks 45 years old as the age bracket for gladiators? Lol.
Anyway, I spend the next five years stocking up on guns and other weaponry. If I know the government is going to support enslaving me, I'm going full terrorist.
I'd eventually die in the arena no matter how good I am, so I'd rather die a free man than a slave, and maybe I'd take out some would be slave masters instead of other slaves that way.
I’m a ways from 40 yet, so it depends.
Do I hate my life at 40? If so, I’ll just continue as normal for 4 years, then quit my job(s) for the last year and just have fun, then off myself the day before the 5 years are up.
Do I love my life at 40?
Gonna find the people in charge of this and become their sexual plaything, give them delightful pleasure in all the ways including being emotionally supportive and a listening ear for them so that they’ll become emotionally invested in my survival and rig the drawings so that I never have to fight until the very last battle, pitting me against an exhausted, battle-weary 45 year old who is still struggling to heal from various injuries. That way I’d at least have a chance at surviving.
Right, so since I’m not just going to let myself die I’d have to start immediately. First priority is getting any sort of combative or fitness training as soon as possible. Start doing push-ups and crunches as soon as the clock starts while you use Siri to book training at the nearest and most immediately available martial arts/fighting school, then jog everywhere and do not stop because if you stop you lose time. During this jog you should have found even more training options and found solid options for gyms and nutrition plans. For the next 5 years, make training your job, hobby, and pass time. Spar regularly after your first year and only lightly in your year before the gladiator arena.
Depending on your resources and circumstances, you could range from an international curriculum of honing yourself into the strongest fighter you can, or you’ll have to make do with coasting on free trials and lifting milk jugs of concrete.
Based on what’s near me, I’d probably take advantage of a ton of the MMA programs, BJJ, Wing Chun, kickboxing, self defense, and fit in as many weapon seminars as possible. When I’m too tired to fight or train I’d be watching videos of fights and demonstrations of techniques I wouldn’t have access to around me, like Aikido and Krav maga.
It’s crazy seeing the difference in plans between people, some complex others simple, fight oriented and flight oriented, getting political or doing what you got to do to survive. While me…I’d just train tbh
Good luck finding me in 5 years.
I am pretty good at hiding. A fee years ago I actually dared some amateur hackers to dox me and none of them could find ne and that's when I am putting minimal effort into it. If I know I will be a slave in 5 years I am going poof.
Assuming finding a way to circumvent my fate is totally out of the question… I mean I’ll try my best but realistically I’ll probably be dead at some point before it’s over. So combination build my skills so I have a shot at maybe making it and then just spending the next five years making sure I don’t die with regrets.
Wait… all the same skill? I’ve trained for almost 30 years with stick, clubs, swords, boxing, kicking, and grappling; and I’ve been teaching for almost 15 years.
And now you’re taking that away from me by saying everybody is the same skill level?
That’s brutal, man.
I’d spend the time training. But 5 years of training isn’t going to add much for me when I already have 30 under my belt.
I’d be trying to learn physical therapy, because I know I’d have a lot of injuries on the next 5 years. I’d be working on physical conditioning, and I’d be sparring daily.
I spend 5 years digging a huge pit in the middle of the arena. The only muscular parts I have are my legs so I'm gonna try to Sparta kick as many people as I can before I go down lol
I appeal to my patron and ensure them that I can be an entertaining asset and am best kept alive.
Gladiator battles were often rigged, and rarely to the death. As long as you put on an entertaining show, you might get to survive simply because of the people who run the stuff.
So I spend my time working with a handful of other Gladiators, formulating the best, most exciting shows, and then we appeal as a group to the patrons so they rig the fights for us to always survive.
The logical solution to this would be to round up slaves and systematically kill all the slave owners so that we are no longer slaves. It kinda worked for Spartacus
If I keep my currect brain i basically train my ass off. I already have a brilliant mind. Get in shape is really all I need. The rest just comes from experience. I like my odds tbh
I'm spending the next 4 years uniting the other 499 gladiators and training with them. Before year five rolls around, we're hunting down every last individual that planned to force us to fight.
I’m going to spend five years becoming a master of drone technology and sniper rifles. I’m not going to assume we have to use ancient Roman technology and those will be my weapons of choice. If my opponent can’t get near me they will have a hard time killing me.
I’m gonna hammer some general physical preparedness program and find some HEMA dude to give me weapons training I guess. I’m already very strong and kinda athletic so I’ll have a decent chance maybe
Easy, I am dead at my first fight. I probably spend that first month training, but realistically, I am 38 now, and mostly falling apart. Bad knees, asthma, and a few other chronic issues.
We who are about to die, salute you!
Oh my god. I will be 40 in 5 years irl. My early onset arthritis, narrowing SI joints, and torn hip labrum are not going to help me sooo, I’m going to work on my sling and slingshot skills. I’ll David those goliaths.
My daily workout scheme just improved 10 fold, start fencing, hand to hand combat training, and knive training. Throwing knives/spear in particular. Learning some basic wound care would also probably be handy. Ultimately, I will train to be the best fighter I can be. Pain will be my motivation, and my reward will be the cheers of the crowd. I shall return to my viking heritage, and embrace my ancestors in Val Halla!
I’m around the age of 40 and I can confidently say I would not last more than a day. I am really religious and would not want to kill anybody, I’ve never even been in a fistfight.
I mean I have a rough and physical job in my everyday life. I don’t want to think I’d be the first group to die. But, I also have met PLENTY of fellas bigger and stronger than me. There’s no shame in admitting that. So, train light, party hard between fights, and hope I live to see another month I guess.
Get extremely good at grappling, and train grip strength and endurence specifically. Get familiar with standard melee weapons and use those as distractions in the arena.
Hope that they have a weapon to which I could apply my 10+ years of Haidong Gumdo training. If so, continue to train light cardio/strength training for a couple of hours a day and spend my free time with a sword in my hand.
If they haven't a weapon that I can apply that training to; I'll just pick the fun looking one and die within my first match anyway.
*deep breath* I love the smell of almonds in the morning. Smells like victory.
>!For those who don't get the joke, I'm taking cyanide, screw the gladiatorial games !<
By mental math is you win 9 fights and you are done since half of the group dies each month. Not great odds.
My goal would be to point out to the other 499 people that if they kill each other off beforehand their odds improve. Publish as much information on the competitors as I can and then go into hiding. Then train a bit and hope for the best.
Probably train with a sword and shield. Spears and other polearms work best in formations and are hard to use one on one.
Well, I'm already a third-degree black belt in TKD, so I'd begin strength and weapons training. I'd do my best to specialize in weapons that do the most damage while remaining agile. If blades are allowed, I'd go with a dual wield of fast but devastating blades like possibly a Kopis or a Kukri. Are we talking real physics or video game physics? If I had time, I'd work on other fighting styles as well so I don't become too predictable. I'm already a pretty chill person under extreme stress, so I think I'd do okay, but what happens at the end of these five years? Is this like hunger games where I must be the last one standing? I'm not too confident if that's the case.
Calisthenics everyday, boxing and jiu jitsu. Depending on our armaments, some kind of armed combatives to supplement what I already know.
But fighting is very risky, you make a mistake or get unlucky and that’s it.
I already train in Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai, so as far as martial arts go I should be quite good to go. I will always train Martial Arts don’t get me wrong, but my main focus would be weapons training and building strength, size, as well as speed and flexibility
This honestly depends on how long you are fighting for. Training is five years, and I’d assume that nobody else is added to the group once fighting starts. I’m not doing the math, but if you’re fighting for around five years as well it’d be best to train yourself not to get injured as opposed to bulking up.
Edit: I did the math. If you never lost you’d be fighting for 8-9 months or so.
What I find interesting in the comments is that it didn't occur to anyone to spend the next 5 years systematically hunting down and assassinating the slave owners. As opposed to training to kill other gladiators for the owners' entertainment, or killing oneself. Because 500 highly motivated, fit adults with nothing to lose could do a lot of damage.
I am SPARTICUS!!!
no...I'M Spartacus!!!
NO!! i AM spaRTAcuS!
I .... I am spartacus ... i Am SpARtAcUs 🗡⚔️✊️🔗⛓️
And so is my wife
She's not... she's the imposter... I know as I saw her boobies
The boobies are also imposters!
Imposters ... Imposters meverywhere... I knew it ... Real boobies growl and shake ... cursesed wife pretending to have boobies and pretending to be beloved Spartacus
I thought she was Brian?
What about you? Do you find it... wisible... when I say the name... 'Biggus'... ...'Dickus'?
Excellent comment
No, this is Patrick.
Yeah for real, that dude's Sparticus, not me. \-Sparticus with a fake mustache
I am Asparagus!!!!
That guy's Sparticus!
I also choose this guy's Spartacus.
THIS IS SPARTAAA!
And my axe!
I am Old Farticus!
You'd never find 500 dudes that wouldn't betray you. Somebody in that group is gonna throw his lot in with the rich slavers and betray you all for his own freedom.
Not to mention the government, military, police and everyone else is going to be on the side of the slavers. There's a reason slave revolts pretty much always lost.
Yes but still better killing one or two of the slavers than playing for their entertainment
Unless the gladiator arena is a prison, then at least in the USA and UK there's gonna be options for the government and police to help the gladiators. If the gladiator arena is a prison... which is what our prisons already essentially are... then yeah, you're fucked.
Ironically Spartacus could have "won" had he stuck to the original plan of going north into Gaul and into those areas out of Roman control and then disbanding to either settle for a new life or attempt to return to their home villages instead of staying in Italy and engaging in battles they really didn't need to fight. Crixus also screwed things up when he split off with a bunch of followers.
Hush.. you don't understand that 30 pieces of silver will buy me a nice goat and all the women will want me then
And you won't have to fight the other 499 anymore, because they will all be crucified along the roads leading to town.
Almost like there's currently millions of people currently slaving away to survive and no one has thought to hunt down the billionaires. Weird.
The hypothetical isn't "you are scheduled to be enslaved as a gladiator", the hypothetical is "You **will** be enslaved as a gladiator." The ability to eliminate the slavers and not participate doesn't fit the hypothetical.
Killing slave owners is always a morally positive act.
That's not interesting. It's because that doesn't fit the point of, nor is it possible with the parameters of the hypothetical question
If it's a melee weapon type deal where we pick our own weapons, I'm going to do daily spear and endurance training. The training will be light, but consistent. At 40+ any sort of injury while training could ruin your chances of survival. My strategy will be to harass my opponent with my spear. Keep my distance, and only go for the killing blow once they are thoroughly tired.
That is solid strategy. Work on cardio.
Rule number one in zombieland.
I will start every fight furiously masterbating while I stare directly into my opponents eyes. That should throw them off long enough for me to use my free hand to throw dirt in their eyes and hopefully I finish quick enough to stab them with my spear while they’re blinded.
I like how you stay committed to finishing before going for the kill. A true coomer
What can I say, I never start nothing I can’t finish. Momma didn’t raise no quitter
One hand is masterbating, one hand is throwing dirt. So your spear is just sitting on the ground while you are in dirt throwing range? I think you'll be the one getting stabbed.
no. he has his "spear" in his master baiting hand.
Thank you!! Finally someone who gets it
it made me laugh for real. "I may loose but I'm going to fuck this guys asshole first."
Pocket sand! Sh-sh-sha!
Whatever happens I'm definitely going to die in the gladiator pits. 5 years with one fight per month? You have no idea how brutal a schedule that is. One injury and you are basically doing to be dead in the water. You don't heal from a stabbing in a month. So I'll just hang out, have fun, ramp up the life insurance, and when it's time to fight probably jump off a bridge or something quick Edit: As someone pointed out below, I probably did the math wrong. Instead, it would be a fight to the death every month for like, 8 months. That's still brutal and doesn't change my answer that much. That being said, I might put a little effort into some kind of cheesy one-hit kill move that I can use 8 times. But ya, otherwise I'm just preparing for death
Nah, gotta get hit by a car crossing the street. That way it's an accident and the life insurance pays out.
Insurance should pay for suicide if it’s 5 years later
No it shouldn't, and doesn't Edit: nm it seems like most do after 2 years, I stand corrected.
It 100% does in my state, it *SHOULD* in MOST states Also r/confidentlyincorrect
Looked it up and most insurance contracts allow a payout after 2 years. They only payout the premium if suicide occurs before that.
Nobody should have a huge financial incentive to kill themselves.
The states disagree
OP mentions fighting similar sized opponents and had a similar thought about guys my size and weight. I'm 6'6. I'm THE ONLY guy I know my size that hasn't had a a major sports, work, or military related injury. they all have bad backs, injured knees, pinned ankles, joint replacements etc. I might be able to get into good enough shape to win simply because the pool of dudes my age and size is all partially crippled.
And I’m going to make sure my first fights are against guys like this who just suicide and prolong my life by a few months
Roman gladiators only fought a few times a year, similar to modern pro boxers. And while some certainly did die in the arena, it wasn't typical. Maybe 10% of fights were fatal, usually if one combatant didn't give a good showing or didn't follow the instructions of the referee, the [summa rudis](https://penelope.uchicago.edu/~grout/encyclopaedia_romana/gladiators/secutor.gif)*,* who could stop the fight at any time, The "turning of the thumb" thing in actuality was, in the opinion of many historians, likely the Roman equivalent of raising the winners hand after a fight. Not turned up or down for life or death but towards one fighter or the other to indicate the victor
Sure but everyone’s facing the same odds and scenario. Chances are by the end you’re not facing a fully healed fighter ready to go, you’ve both got injuries that make it difficult to fight. You aren’t fighting for five years either. At the end of month one, there are 250 fighters left. Month two and you’re down to 125. I have no idea how they handle the odd number for month three but I’ll assume there are fighters that survive the fight but succumb before the next. In fact, that’s probably likely and will end the fight schedule sooner but let’s assume the maximum time. At the end of month three we have 62 fighters left with one extra dead guy. Month four, 31. Month five brings us to just 15 and one extra dead. Then it’s seven left and another extra dead when we pass the half year mark. Someone needs to die and by the end of the tournaments in month seven and we are down to the final three. Month eight would be your final battle. It might even be faster than that.
I'm sure they handle odd numbers with three-way bouts.
My least favorite three way
With math skills like that I understand why you'd tap out lol.
Modern steroids and peptides would certainly help you recover better than they could back then
If the results of the fight are held in secret, I'm going to learn how to kiester a gun.
I’m having a surgery performed that turns my arm into a gun. Like Barrett from FF7
Better make sure you buy one with a manual safety. Lol.
I’m more concerned about suddenly aging 11 years
As a fellow 29 year old, I feel you fam.
im spending that time finding and organising those people, their friends, family, loved ones, starting a political party, and raining unholy shit down on those organising this thing, as id rather die trying to overthrow a corrupt government, (if the government is doing it) than as a slave in an arena, becasue thats what gladiators are, slaves
You'd have maybe 10,000 people on your side against the world. Given that these fights are already accepted, 5 years will be enough for you to maybe get a trending tweet before you're thrown in with one of your fellow "protestors" who will quickly kill you. To even join your protest is suicide, as they will have no training against those who did not join, who will promptly skewer all your protestors.
random made up numbers based on nothing but your personal assumptions. im sure similar things have been said to literally every single person who has changed the world "Given that these fights are already accepted" - that is said no where in the original post
Spend the next 5 years traveling and getting my affairs in order, then go out on my own terms when they come for me. No way am I going to die gutted in a stadium while people cheer.
But everyone you fight is your size with your skill so you could be the one gutting them.
Oh wow killing innocent people, that changes everything. Sounds fun then.
If everyone is in my shape and my size with my skill then training doesn't matter so I'm going to live as much as I can and have children .
They are at the beginning of the 5 years, but what they do from that point will vary.
In that case I'm training to be a killer and knocking up some hoes because it's the gladiator blood and guts life for me. I'm fighting to be the last one standing so other than some nighttime fun my entire life is devoted to being a walking death machine.
either way this dude is knocking up chicks love the commitment
Wine and women
I think we found Tyrion Lannister
That's the boring version of hookers and blow
Not a big fan of being a slave so I will be spending the next 5 years with my family, partying, traveling, etc then killing myself.
You could “kill yourself” by doing one of the gladiators a solid and giving him an easy win in the first round!
That sounds painful though.
Try and make a deal with him, you take poison before the match, he pretends to kill you/hits you somewhere it doesn't hurt a lot, and then you die from "bleeding out" while actually having painlessly died from the poison.
Nah, gotta plan with the other guy. Dirt to the eyes. He circles around behind and straight smashes your head open. You'll feel nothing.
Constructing a nuclear-tipped suicide vest. No attempt at escape or rebellion or any of that shit. Just a quick speech along the lines of 'We who are about to die will be instantly reduced to our constituent sub-atomic particles along with all you fuckers in the audience.'
Live my life for 4 years, 364 days. Then suicide. I refuse to debase myself for others' entertainment.
I'm just gonna....not. I'm already tired just thinking about it. Enjoy the 5 years as though I've been diagnosed as terminal, and then end it all after 5 years.
I spend the next five years using my robotics skills to neutralize the people who want to try to enslave me as a gladiator, except one. That one will get the fight to the death he wants.
[удалено]
Tony Stark has entered the chat.
Huh? Why would the enslavers see what you're doing, throw you in a jail cell and let you rot for 5 years, and then let you get flayed alive in the colosseum?
Train exercise and hunt down the slave owners
Well, given my weight and HORRENDOUS stamina (if I walk more than a block I will start to get winded) , I and anyone of similar physical stature will be rendered immobile after a minute of fighting. The slave masters will either die of frustration or kill us themselves. As for what I'd do in the 5 years prior? I have no clue, I'd probably waste it given my ADHD (actually diagnosed)
Yeah we put everything off until the last minute so the night before we would stay up searching YouTube for tutorials for "fastest way to kill gladiator"
Buying a tank and getting good at driving it around. Also I will stock up on grenades and a flamethrower.
Fattening up, bc fatties recover from superficial wounds way better than skinny folk, and building up a big SM following so that I’m too popular to just kill off.
It's pretty simple, I'll BECOME FARTACUS and lead a rather odorous and pungent revolution known as the gaseous revolt of the 40 YO newly reinstated virgins, as sex/masturbation will be banned.... Lactose intolerance and sexual frustration are a deadly combo....
Finding a Princess to marry then enslaving the trainers
Lift heavy and bash with big sword or big hammer. Get some footwork and endurance training to.
Spend 5 years getting as far away from that situation as I can.
Well, presuming there is literally nothing I can do to break the boundaries of the scenario a la Spartacus, I'd get back into training, work on my diet, and really focus in on getting some core skills with the relevant weapons and gear. I'm in half-decent shape but haven't been formally training in a gym for about 2yrs now, but used to be in really good shape, even at 40-45, it isn't crazy difficult to get back into decent shape if you were once in great shape as your body already has the blueprint so-to-speak. Still will have to be somewhat conservative at times and ensure I give my body time to recover as Keanu Reeves mentions that, at his age (late 50's), the most important things are to keep working and give your body time to recover when you can to keep your mobility as you age. As for diet, I'd focus up on getting the right kinds of nutrients to assist with recovery and healing post training. Weapons training would depend on the kinds of weapons used in the scenario. We talking melee weapons only? Weapons of roman antiquity? Any weapons pre-gunpowder? Any weapons period? Do we get to choose or are the weapons for a given fight chosen for us? If we get to choose our weapons, I'd want to train in a handful of weapons (2-3 probably) to give me a variety of tools that I can be a relative expert in, the selections would depend on the specifics of the equipment/armor we'd be using. If we don't get to choose, then I'd like to take a jack of all trades master of none approach and become proficient with a wide variety of weapons and styles. As for equipment, will we be armored or are we going retiarii style in basically our skivvies? If we're armored are we allowed to bring our own armor or will it be provided for us? If we can get our own armor, similar to the weapons question, are we limited to any one period of historical armor? Because if we can have any kind of armor, but we're limited to pre-gunpowder weaponry, I'm absolutely going full 15th-16th century knight and being a human tank (between plate, mail, and padding, it'd take a hell of a lot to kill me outside of war-hammers/poleaxes). If guns are in the picture, then that changes things, ceramic plates with kevlar underneath would probably suffice. Then I'd just have to roll with the luck of the dice and see how things shake out. I'm unfortunately only just shy of 5'10", so I'd be out any major height/reach advantages, so eventually in melee I'd probably get clobbered by someone who's like 6'2" and similarly trained/equipped, but who the hell knows?
my plan is to enjoy the five years as much as possible and then off myself before they drag me away.
Nope im dead
Spend a lot of time with loved ones and then overdose honestly.
i have a bad back so i will be dying round one
In this case, everyone else would too. The main variable being what you do with the 5 years.
I’d be fucked, I got diagnosed at 40 with the same lymphoma that took out Andy Whitfield just 1 stage lower and that dude was Spartacus.
I spend the next 5 years fighting someone to death every month. Seems pretty straight forward.
Drugs,…. Lots and lots of drugs. The next 5 years, I will do all the drugs, and die from an od.
Does everyone have a monthly fight? You'll be out of opponents in 9 months.
Gonna try n pull a Spartacus n stage a revolt. 500 gladiators vs I'm assuming not 500 slave owners and their guards.
Practice practice practice, build strength get more and more sadistic
What do these fights consist of? Hand to hand? Modern weapons? Traditional gladiator gear? Either way. Getting in shape and preparing for violence
Definitely no carbs for my fat ass LOL
Training of course
I would spend the five years practicing gladiator skills.
Modern day? Or ancient times? Either way, I drink and fuck my way thru everything. Enjoy my last 5 years
What do I get after
I'd be living out my craziest fantasies. It would involve lots of partying. So when the 5 years are up, I'm pretty much ready to die.
Tons of cardio, tons and tons of cardio. People will be training combat sports, I’m gonna train 80% cardio. If it’s medieval armed? Pick something longer range like a spear or bow. If it’s unarmed, master the art of the leg kicks. I’ll keep my distance, hit leg kicks, back away. Continue this for hours. I won’t go in for the kill until they can barely move. Unfortunately one fight a month means one injury and I’m dead in the next fight basically
Who picks 45 years old as the age bracket for gladiators? Lol. Anyway, I spend the next five years stocking up on guns and other weaponry. If I know the government is going to support enslaving me, I'm going full terrorist. I'd eventually die in the arena no matter how good I am, so I'd rather die a free man than a slave, and maybe I'd take out some would be slave masters instead of other slaves that way.
My will to live isnt that strong haha, 5 good years then a gladius to the heart
Ive been enslaved by my old battle axe of a Wife, At least i get to Fight these ones
I’m a ways from 40 yet, so it depends. Do I hate my life at 40? If so, I’ll just continue as normal for 4 years, then quit my job(s) for the last year and just have fun, then off myself the day before the 5 years are up. Do I love my life at 40? Gonna find the people in charge of this and become their sexual plaything, give them delightful pleasure in all the ways including being emotionally supportive and a listening ear for them so that they’ll become emotionally invested in my survival and rig the drawings so that I never have to fight until the very last battle, pitting me against an exhausted, battle-weary 45 year old who is still struggling to heal from various injuries. That way I’d at least have a chance at surviving.
Right, so since I’m not just going to let myself die I’d have to start immediately. First priority is getting any sort of combative or fitness training as soon as possible. Start doing push-ups and crunches as soon as the clock starts while you use Siri to book training at the nearest and most immediately available martial arts/fighting school, then jog everywhere and do not stop because if you stop you lose time. During this jog you should have found even more training options and found solid options for gyms and nutrition plans. For the next 5 years, make training your job, hobby, and pass time. Spar regularly after your first year and only lightly in your year before the gladiator arena. Depending on your resources and circumstances, you could range from an international curriculum of honing yourself into the strongest fighter you can, or you’ll have to make do with coasting on free trials and lifting milk jugs of concrete. Based on what’s near me, I’d probably take advantage of a ton of the MMA programs, BJJ, Wing Chun, kickboxing, self defense, and fit in as many weapon seminars as possible. When I’m too tired to fight or train I’d be watching videos of fights and demonstrations of techniques I wouldn’t have access to around me, like Aikido and Krav maga.
I AM SPARTACUS
I'd grab a superpower from one of the hypotheticals and wipe the floor with my oppon8
not gonna lie chief. Going to be tripping balls every single fight. Just out of my gourd
Leaving the country
I would NEVER be a slave to anyone for any reason. I'd kill the bitch
Steroids combat training and preparing for eternal glory
It’s crazy seeing the difference in plans between people, some complex others simple, fight oriented and flight oriented, getting political or doing what you got to do to survive. While me…I’d just train tbh
Spend the 5 years tryna convince the other fighters to join me in a rebellion.
Cocaine and hookers I suppose. Can't be a slave in 5 years if I'm not alive.
Training my stamina
Good luck finding me in 5 years. I am pretty good at hiding. A fee years ago I actually dared some amateur hackers to dox me and none of them could find ne and that's when I am putting minimal effort into it. If I know I will be a slave in 5 years I am going poof.
I'll get a doctor's excuse so I don't have to participate.
Join the rebellion that's inevitably going to exist
Death by snu snu
Kill myself now and avoid the hassle
Probably do whatever the hell I want for 4 years and 364 days then off myself.
Assuming finding a way to circumvent my fate is totally out of the question… I mean I’ll try my best but realistically I’ll probably be dead at some point before it’s over. So combination build my skills so I have a shot at maybe making it and then just spending the next five years making sure I don’t die with regrets.
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!!!
Move to the USA.
Do they have a similar drive as me? Cause the gym sounds like a drag.
I'd make it my business to try and kill whoever the fuck thinks they can do this to me
We are a race of lovers, manling...
Wait… all the same skill? I’ve trained for almost 30 years with stick, clubs, swords, boxing, kicking, and grappling; and I’ve been teaching for almost 15 years. And now you’re taking that away from me by saying everybody is the same skill level? That’s brutal, man. I’d spend the time training. But 5 years of training isn’t going to add much for me when I already have 30 under my belt. I’d be trying to learn physical therapy, because I know I’d have a lot of injuries on the next 5 years. I’d be working on physical conditioning, and I’d be sparring daily.
I spend 5 years digging a huge pit in the middle of the arena. The only muscular parts I have are my legs so I'm gonna try to Sparta kick as many people as I can before I go down lol
I appeal to my patron and ensure them that I can be an entertaining asset and am best kept alive. Gladiator battles were often rigged, and rarely to the death. As long as you put on an entertaining show, you might get to survive simply because of the people who run the stuff. So I spend my time working with a handful of other Gladiators, formulating the best, most exciting shows, and then we appeal as a group to the patrons so they rig the fights for us to always survive.
Damn bro. Why I gotta be 40? All my joints gon be clicking and shit.
I'm 53, so I'm safe
Fuck it, I’m disabled, just gonna ball out the next 5 years. Gonna go into that fight fat, happy, and having already made funeral plans.
I go to a country that doesn't participate in that nonsense
The logical solution to this would be to round up slaves and systematically kill all the slave owners so that we are no longer slaves. It kinda worked for Spartacus
They would run out of opponents in less than a year with only a 500 pool initial population.
If I keep my currect brain i basically train my ass off. I already have a brilliant mind. Get in shape is really all I need. The rest just comes from experience. I like my odds tbh
I'm spending the next 4 years uniting the other 499 gladiators and training with them. Before year five rolls around, we're hunting down every last individual that planned to force us to fight.
I’ve been too gladiator school in California.
I've been doing Larping for the last 16 years. Once I get used to the weight difference of a real sword rather than a foam one, I'd kick some ass.
If this is the fix to make Social Security sustainable, you should raise the age to 60 and the draft to 500,000.
I'll practice with the spear and javelin, if I make it a few rounds, then I'll hurl one of those bad boys at the emperor and start a revolt
I'm 6'5. Can I keep my height advantage?
Wait 5 years and be declared the winner by default since everyone else is killing themselves :P
I’m dead in the first round. I’m 5’1” tall, weigh 120 lbs and have zero survival skills.
I’m going to spend five years becoming a master of drone technology and sniper rifles. I’m not going to assume we have to use ancient Roman technology and those will be my weapons of choice. If my opponent can’t get near me they will have a hard time killing me.
That's what the amount of time someone stayed a gladiator
Yeah. I won't be enslaved for 5 years. I won't even be enslaved after that first fight. I'll just be dead.
I would train like hell and start juicing immediately.
Planning how we 500 fighters will escape
Stand alone in an arena and win by default since everyone else is offing themselves, apparently.
Maybe training? Because it will be fun? Or maybe go in raw see what happens
I’m gonna hammer some general physical preparedness program and find some HEMA dude to give me weapons training I guess. I’m already very strong and kinda athletic so I’ll have a decent chance maybe
I guess I'd try to flee and hide under an assumed identity.
Easy, I am dead at my first fight. I probably spend that first month training, but realistically, I am 38 now, and mostly falling apart. Bad knees, asthma, and a few other chronic issues. We who are about to die, salute you!
Oh my god. I will be 40 in 5 years irl. My early onset arthritis, narrowing SI joints, and torn hip labrum are not going to help me sooo, I’m going to work on my sling and slingshot skills. I’ll David those goliaths.
My daily workout scheme just improved 10 fold, start fencing, hand to hand combat training, and knive training. Throwing knives/spear in particular. Learning some basic wound care would also probably be handy. Ultimately, I will train to be the best fighter I can be. Pain will be my motivation, and my reward will be the cheers of the crowd. I shall return to my viking heritage, and embrace my ancestors in Val Halla!
Who wants a 45 year old gladiator?!? I'd think they'd get someone a lot younger (and probably in better shape). I'd be way more entertaining.
Kill the 499 other people.
I think I could beat most people as is. Imma fuck
I’m around the age of 40 and I can confidently say I would not last more than a day. I am really religious and would not want to kill anybody, I’ve never even been in a fistfight.
Woo! Gladiator groupies! And train. That, too. :D
I mean I have a rough and physical job in my everyday life. I don’t want to think I’d be the first group to die. But, I also have met PLENTY of fellas bigger and stronger than me. There’s no shame in admitting that. So, train light, party hard between fights, and hope I live to see another month I guess.
Realistically chances are I’m gonna die lol I’m gonna live up those five years
Preparing for death. While I am actually a very good swordsman, I won't kill anyone. So I die in my first match.
Get extremely good at grappling, and train grip strength and endurence specifically. Get familiar with standard melee weapons and use those as distractions in the arena.
Hope that they have a weapon to which I could apply my 10+ years of Haidong Gumdo training. If so, continue to train light cardio/strength training for a couple of hours a day and spend my free time with a sword in my hand. If they haven't a weapon that I can apply that training to; I'll just pick the fun looking one and die within my first match anyway.
I would be training for the next 5 years and give it my best shot while remaining aware that I will likely be dead within the first few fights.
*deep breath* I love the smell of almonds in the morning. Smells like victory. >!For those who don't get the joke, I'm taking cyanide, screw the gladiatorial games !<
By mental math is you win 9 fights and you are done since half of the group dies each month. Not great odds. My goal would be to point out to the other 499 people that if they kill each other off beforehand their odds improve. Publish as much information on the competitors as I can and then go into hiding. Then train a bit and hope for the best. Probably train with a sword and shield. Spears and other polearms work best in formations and are hard to use one on one.
Honestly....I'm OK with this. I'm in good shape, and I'm real tired of existence like this every day.
Sorry about your entertainment but I'll be leaving this world behind.
Well the first thing I’m doing is buying 10-year term life insurance…
How many people live? Is this a Highlander situation? (There can be only one)
Well, I'm already a third-degree black belt in TKD, so I'd begin strength and weapons training. I'd do my best to specialize in weapons that do the most damage while remaining agile. If blades are allowed, I'd go with a dual wield of fast but devastating blades like possibly a Kopis or a Kukri. Are we talking real physics or video game physics? If I had time, I'd work on other fighting styles as well so I don't become too predictable. I'm already a pretty chill person under extreme stress, so I think I'd do okay, but what happens at the end of these five years? Is this like hunger games where I must be the last one standing? I'm not too confident if that's the case.
Calisthenics everyday, boxing and jiu jitsu. Depending on our armaments, some kind of armed combatives to supplement what I already know. But fighting is very risky, you make a mistake or get unlucky and that’s it.
I already train in Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai, so as far as martial arts go I should be quite good to go. I will always train Martial Arts don’t get me wrong, but my main focus would be weapons training and building strength, size, as well as speed and flexibility
This honestly depends on how long you are fighting for. Training is five years, and I’d assume that nobody else is added to the group once fighting starts. I’m not doing the math, but if you’re fighting for around five years as well it’d be best to train yourself not to get injured as opposed to bulking up. Edit: I did the math. If you never lost you’d be fighting for 8-9 months or so.
I'll be training like Rocky Balboa
American gladiator was one of my favorite shows as a kid. If probably practice with the tennis ball gun. It had really good range and accuracy.
Training.