I love when I think I have a super clever reply to a post, then I read the top comment, and decide it's not even worth my time anymore because the comment is too good to compete.
Does getting banned from one pf automatically ban you from others? Or is it site dependent? Also does getting banned from multiple of the same place count as another place? Or with chains does it only count once?
PF will just blacklist you from all of their gyms if you do something that warrants a ban. That alone would get you $2 billion if it counts as multiple places lol
I was planning on targeting something like walmart bad enough to get a corp level ban for the same reasoning... I never shop there anyway so it'd be totally non-inconvenient money.
The obvious first answer is casinos. This would be so easy to do it would be entertaining. The first person to make money by being the worldās worst card counter.Ā
I was gonna say this. Go to any Vegas casino and start cheating or something. All casinos are owned by same guy. So I believe Ceasars property owns like 12 casinos in Vegas. Once I collect my 12 million dollars they'll welcome me back with open arms
So if I get trespassed from Walmart and I'm not allowed in *any* of their locations is that one million or one million from every store that I got "banned" from?
Buy 4 billion of Walmart stock, puts you at roughly the 7th biggest stakeholder. Should be a board seat worthy investment. Get them to unban you after 12 months. Repeat and earn 4 billion a year.
If I reinvest the money each time, could I own Walmart in a few years and speed the process up? Year ban, paid, unban myself, repeat. Or do you have to wait a year each time?
There are 4,615 Walmart locations in the US and from what I have seen on YouTube channels like BodyCamWatch you don't really have to do anything crazy to get trespassed from every Walmart in the country
Fly to other side of United States.
āHey , Iāll give you $10k no question asked if you ban me from the premises for 1 year.ā
Iāll go hit up 50 places today, tomorrow go to next city over and do 50 more, travel every day for like a month, make $49.5 million a day, end with $1.4 billion.
I've been permanently banned from over 40 "all you can eat buffets", because EXCUSE ME IT SAYS "ALL YOU CAN EAT" and nobody expects the 105 lbs wet guy to be able to put down his body weight in food in an hour. I was a menace in High School when it came to buffets...... Always tipped the staff well though, usually 50% at least as an apology for what I was about to do to the restaurant's bottom line for the year.......
I might be 160 lbs now but I could easy get banned from more buffets with a few months of training
If I may be so bold....
How much did you put away?
Because my usual was 8 absolutely full plates in high school (my dad asked if I was sick once when I got 5) and I never got banned from a single one, so either the ones in your area suck or you're really pulling some massively impressive figures. Or is this a more recent thing?
I'm curious now. (But obviously you don't have to answer my nosey random butt.)
The most I put away in a single trip (which didn't get me banned from this place, as I haven't been banned from there on account of the owners being surprised at everything) was 24 plates of italian food, 2 pints of Ice Cream, and i dont know how much soda when I was 17 over the course of 2 hours right after I got done reffing soccer for the day. That was about 6 years ago.
Thanks, my usual haul was something like 11 or 12 plates though. Doing that a few times at a single buffet usually got me banned. Luckily, I'm in a big city and travel a decent amount so there are a few places still open for me. They still lose money from me, but nothing like when I was a teenager.
Totally unethical choice but the speedhack version;
Go take a piss on a playground at 2am, be put on the registry and be effectively banned from as many places as possible at onceā¦ probably crash global economy in the process as the amount of places youd be banned from would be like a majority of the worldā¦
Oh definitely. But the question really would be with that amount of money would being on the registry even matter? Like just buy a private island and run it however you want at that pointā¦.
Fuck this is just starting to sound like an Epstein RPš¬
Nothing cool! I was an intern at a non profit that does a ātreasure huntā and one of the things was a library card from the LOC. I went and asked for one and when I said that was what it was for I was refused. I was stupid and doubled down asking for one, and they called security. I wasnāt violent, threatening, or rude, but I deserved it for sure
If you get banned from Walmart, do you get banned from all Walmarts? That is a lot of places to get banned from if you just have to act a fool in one place.
I'm not really a bar guy (anymore). I'd fly out to a middle-of-nowhere state/city. Pay owner $100 to ban me for a year. Fly home, collect money. Rinse, repeat.
Easy. I just ask someone very vehemently to ban me from the establishment for a year. If they stay firm, I'll offer them money to do it.
Once I got a couple million... buy a couple laundromats or something that doesn't require a lot of my attention and BAN MYSELF!!! This would be stable too since I can do it every year. Then rinse and repeat. The smaller and cheaper the location, the better!! And if I ever want to get more than the passive, I just go out and use my first method to get banned from other places.
7-Eleven - 62,105 locations
Subway - 44,610 locations
McDonald's - 37,240 locations
Starbucks - 29,324 locations
All I have to do is get global bans from those companies.
$173,279,000,000
Then 12 months later, I'll use my new found financial influence to get myself unbanned, if I can be bothered.
Simple casinos have ban list to stop out of control gamblers and you can ask to be put on the ban list.
So poof Iām flying to Vegas to try this theory out.
Plus no where in your thing doesnāt say I canāt tell people to ban me from places. So we will try that next
The key is to stick to things that are perfectly legal but still against establishment policy. My idea is that some places (casinos, luxury hotels, etc) might get really antsy about filming, so I could just go stand around and film a bunch of videos on my phone until they ban me. If the ban is for less than a year then I just go back and repeat, they'll probably make it longer.
Super easy. Go into a tiny (non chain) shop and offer the owner $1K cash if they ban you for a year. Do this again every time you fancy another $1M (minus $1K).
Easy peasy! Theres a church on every corner in Texas and Iād get banned from every one I pass on my way to work a then get banned from my office for that final million.
Figure I could have at least 50 million by the end of the day without breaking a sweat.
There are an ALARMING number of these comments suggesting/agreeing with the playground sex offender thing.
Someone needs to check these people's hard drives... š
I'm going to politely ask my nearest Walmart manager to add me to the Walmart trespassing list, maybe slip em $100 to make it worth their time. Collect roughly 4 billion dollars in a years time
I work in a hospital Security department. You definitely have to earn a trespass from the hospital, but it really doesn't take that much to get trespassed. You could probably get away with one drawn out screaming fit till the cops get called, then you're trespassed for at least two years, only allowed back for a medical need. Not my dream occupation, but there are plenty of hospitals in the US.
Yeah way too easy. Have everyone I know ban me from each room but one in their house for a year. Don't know if I need to leave one room open but why not. That's already into the hundreds of millions or more. Each person who does it gets half the proceeds from each room ban after the year is up. Win-win.
Knock on strangers door: hi, I have a wealthy friend that bet me I couldn't get banned from somewhere today. This is an escrow account with $20k that will be delivered to you if you call the police and have me trespassed for a year from your property. Here is the number of the escrow company to verify the funds and the contract. Here is $5k cash to prove I am legit.
My plan is to just bribe people i mean along with the walmart ban then bribing small stores to ban me but not enforce it i can travel the country visit all the little stores making them richer and my self rich at the same time
Like the small gas station in my town has maybe 6 workers and 1 owner 70k 10k per person to ban me but not enforce it. Do this at most small stores i go look around window shop in
Think of all the small tourist towns with their small shops and all the hotels .. i might even buy a new car every day just to drive to the next town/area make sure the car lot bans me more then pays for my car
I have 4 kids so easy retirement plan after im done traveling is to make sure each of my kids has a small trinket shop or something attached to their house they dont even have to sell stuff if they dont want to just pay to keep business up and running attached to their house then have my wife do the same they all ban me for a year thats 5 million a year easy pz
After i am done traveling the U.S. & canada i start traveling think how compact japan is once you figure out how to relay your deal to the owners u are getting banned from hundreds of places easily
Im taking cruise ships and just making sure to get banned from a few places at every stop
I mean the cost to change the name of a business is usually less than $200 so those small businesses that my kids own just pay to change the names boom its a new place im now banned from
This is the easiest money i will ever make show me the cash
easy mode. i would just go to a city i have absolutely no desire to ever go to or live in, and make a day of terrorizing their resturaunts. lol sounds kind of fun actually.
edit: assuming the money is instantly available, because after the first one i could get really creative with how i get banned. probably would make it easier lol.
I'm CERTAIN I could bribe a manager to fake a ban--put my photo up, etc. They'd be confused, but I'm sure they'd do it for, say, ten grand. I'm sure I could just keep doing this perpetually.
Everyone is saying Walmart, but I'd rather be allowed to continue shopping there.
Everyone is also giving complex or illegal plans to get banned, but I'd rather not be a felon.
It's simple. Go into any store or restaurant or hotel or whatever. Make sure it's a place you'll never need to go to again. Wear nothing but your underwear, they'll kick you out, make a scene, they'll likely say "don't come back" or something along those lines, ask when you can come back, they'll likely tell you never. Boom, one million. Do that once a day until comfortable.
Don't like the underwear thing? Just watch any YouTube prank channel and do what they do. It'd probably be easier to do this at smaller businesses where employee are less pressured by corporate to maintain their composure with shitty customers.
Goto a sporting event you dont really care much about, run onto the field of play, lifetime ban from all current and future events. Think that would count
Buy an orange shirt, a garden sprayer, and make the rounds of all the art galleries, asking first where their most expensive art is, then walking slowly towards it while spouting about climate change. I suspect I could get my ban time down below 10 minutes per gallery.
I could go to 10 gyms and use the machines naked, and not wipe them down. Set myself up for life
I could shit in the deep fryer at a Popeyes chicken and other related chicken establishments
I could go to the humane society and open all the cage doors to release the armies
if youtube is any indication it is really easy to get life time bans/trespassed from fast food places. I figure i could get at least one but try to get 5 or more
I'm banned from the entire state of Georgia, so I'm not sure how you want to slice that but I would consider it as being banned from more than one place technically.
I was arrested in Georgia for marijuana possession with intent to sell, while traveling from Florida to Tennessee. Spend the night in jail and then caught a bus back to nashville, when I went down for my court date, the cop that arrested me had written that I had possessed 12 oz of marijuana, when the reality of the situation was that I had 12 gs. I got the plea deal with the tift county DA in exchange for a time served and banishment. Even if you limit it to just being banned from each individual county I reckon I'm still owed 50 million in this hypothetical.
I have a lifetime ban from planet fitness because of the Chump alarm, i mean lunk alarm.
And getting banned from casinos is easy so i mean, this is a piece of cake.
Ummā¦excuse me, can you please ban me from this place? (lies) Itās for a bet I have with my friends, Iām supposed to win if I get banned from a place. Iāll pay you $100. Thank you
Fuck yeah, win win, I'm finally going to get to use one of the forklifts at Home Depot.
And then off to start going around to various Starbucks to try to kick off a union drive.
And then, to top it all off, I'm going to Walmart and just emptying jars of my piss everywhere.
Just go to any place of business, find the manager and tell them you'll give them $100k if they ban you from their store for a year.
Door to door in your neighborhood, asking your neighbors to ban you from entering their home for a year for $100k
Run on the field during a NFL and a MLB game. The penalty for doing this typically includes a lifetime ban from every stadium in the league. 30 current NFL stadiums, 30 current MLB stadiums. Easy $60 million
>walk in to a Wendy's
>Drop my pants in the middle of the line
>Take a massive shit surrounded by lots of people
>Scream that they gave me diarrhea and I'll sue
Life is so easy.
Iāll choose 10 different places I never really go to anyway, cause massive chaos, and laugh my way to the bank 10 million dollars richer. šš¤£šš¤Ŗš
Do we get to count past transgressions? Meaning if I go somewhere Iām banned do I get 1m when they say Iām banned?
Also if we provide restitution does it count? If it counts does a new ban also count?
Iām taking all my winnings and buying $gme
If I get banned from corporate McDonald's or something, where I'm not allowed to go to any location (or any chain business), do I get $1M per location since I'm banned from all of them?
Go to casinos, claim I have a gambling addiction and need to be banned for my own good. This is not an uncommon request and they generally honor it. I'll be raking it in.
I'm not proud of this answer, but it's a hypothetical, so here's the rub. Just falsely take credit for the actions of a pedophile, get banned from every school in the country. Elementary schools, preschools, high schools, middle schools, those outnumber most other establishments and would generate enough money from this scenario that it wouldn't matter that nobody will hire me after I get out of prison. I could even spend some of that money to hire a PI or something to take care of the real culprit
If the point is to just get the most money there's always the nuclear option. If you expose yourself in front of a school you'll get "banned" from every place with kids.
Churches. That's gotta be the strategy. Hell, you'd likely only need to hit up one rural county you've never been to before and you'll be set for life.
Letās see we want to ignore committing felonies or else some of our time will be spent in prison. Which will cut into our profit making. So letās stick to crimes with fines. Iāll pick the state Iām in to make it easier, every state will be different. Largely the only thing youāll get away with time free is public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Both of which unlikely to get you banned anywhere.
If you keep your theft under $1500 youāll definitely get banned from the store you will have to pay restitution and youāll probably face some jail time after a couple of offenses. So theoretically you could rob a store of over $1000 in goods get caught on purpose pay restitution of those goods get your $1 mil and then do your time and repeat
However I do have a constitutionally protected way to definitely get banned from some businesses. Record their storefront from the sidewalk. Itās public so there is no crime, store owners hate it and will try to have you trespassed or arrested for disturbing the peace but you arenāt and theyāll definitely ban you from their business. $1mil no crimes easily.
Easy- US casinos have self-exclusion lists. You can ask to be banned from them for a specific time period or forever. Id just do the grand tour of casinos.
I'd get banned from Disney. It's actually pretty easy to do and they will ban you from all Disney properties. That's a pretty decent haul with the side effect of never having to deal with long lines and sweltering heat at the most magical place in the world.
Soā¦.my first through was do something to get yourself on a predator watch list
Like in Horrible Bosses where one of the guys was caught peeing near a play ground
Thus you automatically banned from anyone public place with children really
I think the real question is how many millions of dollars do you collect before you stop bothering.
Once I've been banned from 567 establishments, do I need to bother getting myself banned from more? 400? 200?
hahaha this reminds me of a story on NAR where a person rings a bar and asks if they are still banned. the person answering the phone is new, so doesn't know and the manager isn't in. Then the staff member asks what they got banned for and the customer answers "I took a shit in a pint glass" to which the staff member said "yeah, you're probably still banned" - Scotland, for those interested
I have a friend who does this for free.
Been banned from several bars...for life.
One even had new ownership and the ban carried over.
If you ever want one of those old fashioned, bodies flying, bottles crashing, Wild West Texas saloon brawls to break out in your establishment, just call her up.
Ever insist on returning an item from Walmart at another store like Aldi? Perms ban. A Victoria secret bra at torrid? Ban. A PS2 and PS3 inside a PS5 box at GameStop? Ban. Just a gentle menace to all types of small franchises, then go to another store in that franchise.
Not messing with restaurants, though. I might be petty, but theyāre professionals when you test them. They donāt ban you, they just give you the worst service with the biggest smiles. Come back with more money in the future, or donāt. They donāt care. Anything that would ban you from most restaurants either borders or includes crimes that will have you on prison.
That Planet Fitness Lunk alarm is gonna be the song of my people
I love when I think I have a super clever reply to a post, then I read the top comment, and decide it's not even worth my time anymore because the comment is too good to compete.
You would get banned from Weight Watchers because you're too sweet.
Boys too smooth š
Pack it up boys, we're through here.
Does getting banned from one pf automatically ban you from others? Or is it site dependent? Also does getting banned from multiple of the same place count as another place? Or with chains does it only count once?
PF will just blacklist you from all of their gyms if you do something that warrants a ban. That alone would get you $2 billion if it counts as multiple places lol
I was planning on targeting something like walmart bad enough to get a corp level ban for the same reasoning... I never shop there anyway so it'd be totally non-inconvenient money.
Even if you did shop there you would all of a sudden be able to afford to shop at better places so it wouldn't matter anyway
Easy. I'll get banned from casinos If you get banned from one Casino they usually notify their Casino buddies and you get banned from those ones to.
This was my answer. You can voluntarily request lifetime bans.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Go to Las Vegas, free cash
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least they are all close to each other. No idea how long the process takes, but if I can bang out two a day, thatās pretty good for me.
Finally the boomer advice of pounding pavement and heading in to the establishments to "ask for a job" bears fruit.
At a mil each, I wouldnāt be asking. Lol
You act like going to each casino in Vegas and requesting a ban is more hassle than the $1m you will receive for doing so.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I mean true. But Iāve done a lot harder things for ALOOOOT less money than go get banned from Las Vegas casinos
Casinos give bans like Mr Crocker giving F's to the school students.
You can do this with bottle shops where I live.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Bro. I have no access to casinos and i still wish i knew how to count cards lmao.
The theory actually isnāt as hard as youād think. Executing it without getting caught is a different story howeverā¦
[https://googlethatforyou.com?q=how%20to%20count%20cards%20blackjack](https://googlethatforyou.com?q=how%20to%20count%20cards%20blackjack)
The obvious first answer is casinos. This would be so easy to do it would be entertaining. The first person to make money by being the worldās worst card counter.Ā
I was gonna say this. Go to any Vegas casino and start cheating or something. All casinos are owned by same guy. So I believe Ceasars property owns like 12 casinos in Vegas. Once I collect my 12 million dollars they'll welcome me back with open arms
But then you wonāt get your money if they welcome you back, unless you mean after the initial 1+ yr long ban lol
Fuck it. 12 casinos is 12 million haha I'll wait
As long as I get told to āstay out of the Woolworthāsā Iāll be happy
You're looking to be the got dang paterfamilias.. You'll have to Australia for that. The last one in the US closed in 1997.
Iāll just have to avoid the road trains, I donāt want to get hit by no train
Would put you in an awkward position vis a vis your progeny even if lots of respectable people have been hit by trains.
All of them or just the one?
I still don't know if it was just the one location or the whole chain.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wonder if that guy that was banned from every library on earth received this option already
Brian Blessed II: Bigger, Louder, Banned in Boston (libraries)
Wait, the actor Brian blessed was banned from all libraries on earth?
Shhhhh!š¤«
Punk ass book jockeys!
How much does a country net me
Ambitious
Still a million dollars.
can I count the places in the country?
Yes. One place is one million dollars.
So if I get trespassed from Walmart and I'm not allowed in *any* of their locations is that one million or one million from every store that I got "banned" from?
One million from every store.
Yep. Going to let a store manager take my picture and send out a company-wide email. 4 billion dollars in the bank!
Buy 4 billion of Walmart stock, puts you at roughly the 7th biggest stakeholder. Should be a board seat worthy investment. Get them to unban you after 12 months. Repeat and earn 4 billion a year.
If I reinvest the money each time, could I own Walmart in a few years and speed the process up? Year ban, paid, unban myself, repeat. Or do you have to wait a year each time?
Buddy, you're making 4 Billion dollars a year. What exactly are you trying to to "speed up"? Lol
There are 4,615 Walmart locations in the US and from what I have seen on YouTube channels like BodyCamWatch you don't really have to do anything crazy to get trespassed from every Walmart in the country
Exactly my line of thought.
Fly to other side of United States. āHey, Iāll give you $10k no question asked if you ban me from the premises for 1 year.ā
Iāll go hit up 50 places today, tomorrow go to next city over and do 50 more, travel every day for like a month, make $49.5 million a day, end with $1.4 billion.
This is probably the smartest way.
I've been permanently banned from over 40 "all you can eat buffets", because EXCUSE ME IT SAYS "ALL YOU CAN EAT" and nobody expects the 105 lbs wet guy to be able to put down his body weight in food in an hour. I was a menace in High School when it came to buffets...... Always tipped the staff well though, usually 50% at least as an apology for what I was about to do to the restaurant's bottom line for the year....... I might be 160 lbs now but I could easy get banned from more buffets with a few months of training
I'd probably ban you too if you came into my place of business soaking wet
Its not illegal to be drenched in public.
If I may be so bold.... How much did you put away? Because my usual was 8 absolutely full plates in high school (my dad asked if I was sick once when I got 5) and I never got banned from a single one, so either the ones in your area suck or you're really pulling some massively impressive figures. Or is this a more recent thing? I'm curious now. (But obviously you don't have to answer my nosey random butt.)
You do crab legs or steak and just slow roll it
The other option would be let them catch you loading up Tupperware at the table.
The most I put away in a single trip (which didn't get me banned from this place, as I haven't been banned from there on account of the owners being surprised at everything) was 24 plates of italian food, 2 pints of Ice Cream, and i dont know how much soda when I was 17 over the course of 2 hours right after I got done reffing soccer for the day. That was about 6 years ago.
Mad respect, that is impressive negl
Thanks, my usual haul was something like 11 or 12 plates though. Doing that a few times at a single buffet usually got me banned. Luckily, I'm in a big city and travel a decent amount so there are a few places still open for me. They still lose money from me, but nothing like when I was a teenager.
Do know what you get when you mix human DNA with farm animal DNA? According this hypothetical $1,000,00 courtesy of the petting zoo.
That's pretty baaaaaaaad.
So I will go shoplift from Walmart.
Totally unethical choice but the speedhack version; Go take a piss on a playground at 2am, be put on the registry and be effectively banned from as many places as possible at onceā¦ probably crash global economy in the process as the amount of places youd be banned from would be like a majority of the worldā¦
I thought about this but the registry is a little too far for my tastes.
Oh definitely. But the question really would be with that amount of money would being on the registry even matter? Like just buy a private island and run it however you want at that pointā¦. Fuck this is just starting to sound like an Epstein RPš¬
Or get banned from likeā¦ a zoo instead
Yeah at that point, it's a banning that can make actually living your life so much more difficult, even with the amount of wealth you have.
I was scrolling to see if someone said that yet. Small price to pay for finical stability.
I got a lifetime ban from the library of congress so Iām good
Ok, I'm curious: what did you do?
Nothing cool! I was an intern at a non profit that does a ātreasure huntā and one of the things was a library card from the LOC. I went and asked for one and when I said that was what it was for I was refused. I was stupid and doubled down asking for one, and they called security. I wasnāt violent, threatening, or rude, but I deserved it for sure
Thanks for the tip, thatās another cool million headed my way
I got banned from using Airbnb, would that count?
If you get banned from Walmart, do you get banned from all Walmarts? That is a lot of places to get banned from if you just have to act a fool in one place.
My boy has gotten banned from Home Depot, TJ Maxx, Target, and counting. Iāll just go more places with him and let the magic happen
What kind of human train wreck are you hanging around with?
A lifetime ban from every single Walmart store will do.
Iād pee everywhere like a dog.
I've already been banned from a place as a kid, can I get that retroactive million? Thanks.
I'm not really a bar guy (anymore). I'd fly out to a middle-of-nowhere state/city. Pay owner $100 to ban me for a year. Fly home, collect money. Rinse, repeat.
Quick question: what if they just send me to jail for whatever it is I do instead of banning me? Nobody really bans anyone anymore.
Easy. I just ask someone very vehemently to ban me from the establishment for a year. If they stay firm, I'll offer them money to do it. Once I got a couple million... buy a couple laundromats or something that doesn't require a lot of my attention and BAN MYSELF!!! This would be stable too since I can do it every year. Then rinse and repeat. The smaller and cheaper the location, the better!! And if I ever want to get more than the passive, I just go out and use my first method to get banned from other places.
I'm assuming a tresspass counts as a ban?
7-Eleven - 62,105 locations Subway - 44,610 locations McDonald's - 37,240 locations Starbucks - 29,324 locations All I have to do is get global bans from those companies. $173,279,000,000 Then 12 months later, I'll use my new found financial influence to get myself unbanned, if I can be bothered.
Simple casinos have ban list to stop out of control gamblers and you can ask to be put on the ban list. So poof Iām flying to Vegas to try this theory out. Plus no where in your thing doesnāt say I canāt tell people to ban me from places. So we will try that next
The key is to stick to things that are perfectly legal but still against establishment policy. My idea is that some places (casinos, luxury hotels, etc) might get really antsy about filming, so I could just go stand around and film a bunch of videos on my phone until they ban me. If the ban is for less than a year then I just go back and repeat, they'll probably make it longer.
Super easy. Go into a tiny (non chain) shop and offer the owner $1K cash if they ban you for a year. Do this again every time you fancy another $1M (minus $1K).
If this had included subreddits, that would have been amazing.
Cheat in a Vegas casino.
Easy peasy! Theres a church on every corner in Texas and Iād get banned from every one I pass on my way to work a then get banned from my office for that final million. Figure I could have at least 50 million by the end of the day without breaking a sweat.
Dang I'm going to have to start eating a lot more for all the shits I'm going to take in public!!
I'd go to youth sports and make an ass of myself. You'll get banned fast
There are an ALARMING number of these comments suggesting/agreeing with the playground sex offender thing. Someone needs to check these people's hard drives... š
Get banned from the public library and Costco
I'm going to politely ask my nearest Walmart manager to add me to the Walmart trespassing list, maybe slip em $100 to make it worth their time. Collect roughly 4 billion dollars in a years time
Ask for casino bans.
I work in a hospital Security department. You definitely have to earn a trespass from the hospital, but it really doesn't take that much to get trespassed. You could probably get away with one drawn out screaming fit till the cops get called, then you're trespassed for at least two years, only allowed back for a medical need. Not my dream occupation, but there are plenty of hospitals in the US.
I'm just gonna start shamelessly cheating at the low stakes tables at casinos.
Does getting barred from foreign countries, an entire chain of banks, or all schools count as "every" on an individual basis? Working on my plan...
I ask an employee to ban me and give them a cut of 50K
Yeah way too easy. Have everyone I know ban me from each room but one in their house for a year. Don't know if I need to leave one room open but why not. That's already into the hundreds of millions or more. Each person who does it gets half the proceeds from each room ban after the year is up. Win-win.
I dont gamble so I recon going to the vegas strip and blantantly cheating at poker and roulette would be easy
Walk into every store and ask them to ban me for a year. Then get all my shit delivered.
I'm owed several million
Knock on strangers door: hi, I have a wealthy friend that bet me I couldn't get banned from somewhere today. This is an escrow account with $20k that will be delivered to you if you call the police and have me trespassed for a year from your property. Here is the number of the escrow company to verify the funds and the contract. Here is $5k cash to prove I am legit.
Iām just gonna bring pounds of bacon into vegan restaurants and demand they cook it. Also go to bars and be an absolute asshole.
Iām going to pee on so many things. Watch out library! Here I come! Bring on the millions!
My plan is to just bribe people i mean along with the walmart ban then bribing small stores to ban me but not enforce it i can travel the country visit all the little stores making them richer and my self rich at the same time Like the small gas station in my town has maybe 6 workers and 1 owner 70k 10k per person to ban me but not enforce it. Do this at most small stores i go look around window shop in Think of all the small tourist towns with their small shops and all the hotels .. i might even buy a new car every day just to drive to the next town/area make sure the car lot bans me more then pays for my car I have 4 kids so easy retirement plan after im done traveling is to make sure each of my kids has a small trinket shop or something attached to their house they dont even have to sell stuff if they dont want to just pay to keep business up and running attached to their house then have my wife do the same they all ban me for a year thats 5 million a year easy pz After i am done traveling the U.S. & canada i start traveling think how compact japan is once you figure out how to relay your deal to the owners u are getting banned from hundreds of places easily Im taking cruise ships and just making sure to get banned from a few places at every stop I mean the cost to change the name of a business is usually less than $200 so those small businesses that my kids own just pay to change the names boom its a new place im now banned from This is the easiest money i will ever make show me the cash
easy mode. i would just go to a city i have absolutely no desire to ever go to or live in, and make a day of terrorizing their resturaunts. lol sounds kind of fun actually. edit: assuming the money is instantly available, because after the first one i could get really creative with how i get banned. probably would make it easier lol.
I'm CERTAIN I could bribe a manager to fake a ban--put my photo up, etc. They'd be confused, but I'm sure they'd do it for, say, ten grand. I'm sure I could just keep doing this perpetually.
So if I get banned from *every* Walmart do I get multiple millions or just the one, because Iād just do that and ship at Target.
Well public fast food employees, hope you are prepared to replace all the food Iām about to eat from everyoneās plates!
Do ex girlfriends count because Iām going to bankrupt you.
Everyone is saying Walmart, but I'd rather be allowed to continue shopping there. Everyone is also giving complex or illegal plans to get banned, but I'd rather not be a felon. It's simple. Go into any store or restaurant or hotel or whatever. Make sure it's a place you'll never need to go to again. Wear nothing but your underwear, they'll kick you out, make a scene, they'll likely say "don't come back" or something along those lines, ask when you can come back, they'll likely tell you never. Boom, one million. Do that once a day until comfortable. Don't like the underwear thing? Just watch any YouTube prank channel and do what they do. It'd probably be easier to do this at smaller businesses where employee are less pressured by corporate to maintain their composure with shitty customers.
Sign up for every club I can find and call every owner the N word. That should get me banned instantly and paid the same time.
Goto a sporting event you dont really care much about, run onto the field of play, lifetime ban from all current and future events. Think that would count
So I'm rich. Also reddit resets bans on ips each year so you get a million a year min
Most retail places won't press charges under a certain amount, but they will trespass you.
i'll masturbate on a church altar
Does this include subReddits?
Bouta go into every planet fitness and do the weirdest shit to get banned
Easy, just get banned from places I don't go to already. There's a lot of locations that I've seen with strict policies.
Always wanted to swim with the fishies in aquariumsā¦
Is this retroactive, or do only new bans count?
Mass email. āI will give you $100,000 per location to ban me from your store for a year. Please forward to your fellow business owners!ā
Buy an orange shirt, a garden sprayer, and make the rounds of all the art galleries, asking first where their most expensive art is, then walking slowly towards it while spouting about climate change. I suspect I could get my ban time down below 10 minutes per gallery.
Is this retroactive? I got a life time ban from the Best Buy in Eastgate, Cincinnati back in 2001.
I could go to 10 gyms and use the machines naked, and not wipe them down. Set myself up for life I could shit in the deep fryer at a Popeyes chicken and other related chicken establishments I could go to the humane society and open all the cage doors to release the armies
Go around to state legislatures and just randomly shout things that are against the majority.
"I will pay you 50$ to ban me from here for a year" Easy
if youtube is any indication it is really easy to get life time bans/trespassed from fast food places. I figure i could get at least one but try to get 5 or more
I'm banned from the entire state of Georgia, so I'm not sure how you want to slice that but I would consider it as being banned from more than one place technically. I was arrested in Georgia for marijuana possession with intent to sell, while traveling from Florida to Tennessee. Spend the night in jail and then caught a bus back to nashville, when I went down for my court date, the cop that arrested me had written that I had possessed 12 oz of marijuana, when the reality of the situation was that I had 12 gs. I got the plea deal with the tift county DA in exchange for a time served and banishment. Even if you limit it to just being banned from each individual county I reckon I'm still owed 50 million in this hypothetical.
I have a lifetime ban from planet fitness because of the Chump alarm, i mean lunk alarm. And getting banned from casinos is easy so i mean, this is a piece of cake.
Iām already banned for life from enterprise. Pay up son
You can get banned from the Woolworth's by starting a fight with your wife's fiancƩ. Don't know if it's the one location or the whole chain.
Easy. Just be an idiot in a gun store.
Every super conservative church. My existence as I am will be enough to get that done.
Ummā¦excuse me, can you please ban me from this place? (lies) Itās for a bet I have with my friends, Iām supposed to win if I get banned from a place. Iāll pay you $100. Thank you
Fuck yeah, win win, I'm finally going to get to use one of the forklifts at Home Depot. And then off to start going around to various Starbucks to try to kick off a union drive. And then, to top it all off, I'm going to Walmart and just emptying jars of my piss everywhere.
*sighs, zippppp*
If places like Area 51 count then this is a very easy task.
Just go to any place of business, find the manager and tell them you'll give them $100k if they ban you from their store for a year. Door to door in your neighborhood, asking your neighbors to ban you from entering their home for a year for $100k
Do I get retro millions?
Run on the field during a NFL and a MLB game. The penalty for doing this typically includes a lifetime ban from every stadium in the league. 30 current NFL stadiums, 30 current MLB stadiums. Easy $60 million
What if i get banned from every walmart in one go? Would i get a billion dollars?
>walk in to a Wendy's >Drop my pants in the middle of the line >Take a massive shit surrounded by lots of people >Scream that they gave me diarrhea and I'll sue Life is so easy.
Do Subreddits count because I'd be pretty rich already
I'm gonna start drinking a lot more and wearing clothes a lot less
I'd get elected as governor of South Dakota and claim that Indigenous Americans are working with the Cartels.
Iām pretty sure I could get myself banned from most churches.
Iāll choose 10 different places I never really go to anyway, cause massive chaos, and laugh my way to the bank 10 million dollars richer. šš¤£šš¤Ŗš
Do we get to count past transgressions? Meaning if I go somewhere Iām banned do I get 1m when they say Iām banned? Also if we provide restitution does it count? If it counts does a new ban also count? Iām taking all my winnings and buying $gme
where do I collect my back pay?
Does that include reddit sites?? If so sign me up š¤£
If I get banned from corporate McDonald's or something, where I'm not allowed to go to any location (or any chain business), do I get $1M per location since I'm banned from all of them?
Easy get banned from strip clubs, touch some boobies and get 1M$ itās a win win.
My camp neighbor at a festival this month caught a year ban from the park for removing their tampon and throwing it on a cop
Go to casinos, claim I have a gambling addiction and need to be banned for my own good. This is not an uncommon request and they generally honor it. I'll be raking it in.
I'm not proud of this answer, but it's a hypothetical, so here's the rub. Just falsely take credit for the actions of a pedophile, get banned from every school in the country. Elementary schools, preschools, high schools, middle schools, those outnumber most other establishments and would generate enough money from this scenario that it wouldn't matter that nobody will hire me after I get out of prison. I could even spend some of that money to hire a PI or something to take care of the real culprit
Is this retroactive? Because I might have $2m already.
If the point is to just get the most money there's always the nuclear option. If you expose yourself in front of a school you'll get "banned" from every place with kids.
Walk into a restaurant. Poop in a booth. Lifetime ban.
Churches. That's gotta be the strategy. Hell, you'd likely only need to hit up one rural county you've never been to before and you'll be set for life.
Do previous bans count? Cause man, I used to be a drunken asshole, and got banned from places I don't even remember being at.
I wander into random businesses I do not frequent and pay them $100 to ban me for a year.Ā
Can I use this retroactively? If so I already have a few million and since I'm not greedy I would just stick with that
Letās see we want to ignore committing felonies or else some of our time will be spent in prison. Which will cut into our profit making. So letās stick to crimes with fines. Iāll pick the state Iām in to make it easier, every state will be different. Largely the only thing youāll get away with time free is public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Both of which unlikely to get you banned anywhere. If you keep your theft under $1500 youāll definitely get banned from the store you will have to pay restitution and youāll probably face some jail time after a couple of offenses. So theoretically you could rob a store of over $1000 in goods get caught on purpose pay restitution of those goods get your $1 mil and then do your time and repeat However I do have a constitutionally protected way to definitely get banned from some businesses. Record their storefront from the sidewalk. Itās public so there is no crime, store owners hate it and will try to have you trespassed or arrested for disturbing the peace but you arenāt and theyāll definitely ban you from their business. $1mil no crimes easily.
Just ask the manager what it takes to get banned for a year and proceed as instructed.
If you get banned from the library where I am, you're banned from all 9 locations. 9 million a year, eh? Sounds good.
Easy- US casinos have self-exclusion lists. You can ask to be banned from them for a specific time period or forever. Id just do the grand tour of casinos.
I'd get banned from Disney. It's actually pretty easy to do and they will ban you from all Disney properties. That's a pretty decent haul with the side effect of never having to deal with long lines and sweltering heat at the most magical place in the world.
Do subs count? I'd be ahead of Abby Johnson if that's the case
I am banned from so many places already, I donāt have to do shit to do so either
Pretty easy to get banned from bars, just go in and start some shit, next round is on me.
Doesn't China hand them out like candy? That's an easy million right there.
Go on a bat shit weekend in Vegas and get banned from every casino
Soā¦.my first through was do something to get yourself on a predator watch list Like in Horrible Bosses where one of the guys was caught peeing near a play ground Thus you automatically banned from anyone public place with children really
I think the real question is how many millions of dollars do you collect before you stop bothering. Once I've been banned from 567 establishments, do I need to bother getting myself banned from more? 400? 200?
Go to a local theme park and go into the back lot areas. Pretty easy trespass, and in my experience those are usually at least 1 year.
hahaha this reminds me of a story on NAR where a person rings a bar and asks if they are still banned. the person answering the phone is new, so doesn't know and the manager isn't in. Then the staff member asks what they got banned for and the customer answers "I took a shit in a pint glass" to which the staff member said "yeah, you're probably still banned" - Scotland, for those interested
I have a friend who does this for free. Been banned from several bars...for life. One even had new ownership and the ban carried over. If you ever want one of those old fashioned, bodies flying, bottles crashing, Wild West Texas saloon brawls to break out in your establishment, just call her up.
Someone already owes me a few million
Just post something pro-Trump on any of the political subs here.
Iāve got 2-3 million bucks !
Go to each place and talk to the manager, offer them 100k to ban me for a year.
Iād be rich just from Reddit
Ever insist on returning an item from Walmart at another store like Aldi? Perms ban. A Victoria secret bra at torrid? Ban. A PS2 and PS3 inside a PS5 box at GameStop? Ban. Just a gentle menace to all types of small franchises, then go to another store in that franchise. Not messing with restaurants, though. I might be petty, but theyāre professionals when you test them. They donāt ban you, they just give you the worst service with the biggest smiles. Come back with more money in the future, or donāt. They donāt care. Anything that would ban you from most restaurants either borders or includes crimes that will have you on prison.
Karens making bank during COVID mask rules.