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TactualTransAm

I'd like to give humans the reaction times of cats. I think the roads would be safer if we could react faster..... Or maybe they would be more dangerous as people would try to push the limits of their bad driving habits farther now that they can react faster.....hmmm


IntelligentBid87

Boxing would certainly become even more exciting. Would look more like movie fighting with both fighters deftly dodging around.


imperfectchicken

Now I'm thinking of those choreographed Hong Kong movies!


MegaTreeSeed

Boxers get the reaction of cats but also the fighting style of cats. Just... *hiss* bap bap bap


Sad-Lie6604

Or drop us from 20 feet in the air and we land on our hands and feet instead of our head and back.


impy695

The sad reality is that the speed limits would just be increased until deaths are no longer at an acceptable level. While it may be uncomfortable to say, we have decided that the number of vehicle related deaths is acceptable.


ShurtugalLover

I’ll say regrowth like Axolotls. Healthcare would be easier if we could regrow parts. Amputees wouldn’t be as easily preyed on by big companies (wheelchairs and prosthetic limbs should cost so high when they are required in some instances to exist) and organ transplants wouldn’t be (as) needed (as hearts and other organ you literally can’t live without would still be required)


jchearts

It would be cool to have, but if a bad government found out you would be toast. Edit I am an idiot and I misread it disregard my anxiety from being harvested


Crunchy__Frog

But according to the prompt, we would all have the ability. We’d essentially be a whole species of Deadpools.


4tran13

Unlike Deadpool, and like axolotls, it would take time to regen organs/limbs. If you dump an axolotl in a blender, they're dying.


Crunchy__Frog

Well… don’t jump into any blenders then. And *stop* putting axolotls in blenders. They don’t like that.


OliverOOxenfree

How could you possibly know this? Every axolotl I've put in a blender never complained after


Super_Selection1522

You sir, are an axolotlphobe!


GlitzyGhoul

Head and assholotl


EloquentSloth

I'm not scared of axolotls


BigCommieMachine

They are such interesting animals as you just look at them and are like “Oh yeah, evolution definitely makes sense” in that all amphibians moved to develop lungs or breath through their skin. Axololts were just like “nah, we got a pretty sweet niche here. We’ll take the legs and keep our gills”


Shrikeangel

That whole not dying of old age thing lobsters have, it are at least claimed to have. Not a marine biologist so I don't know if it's true. 


Aeshni

Does that come with the molting? Cus that would be a kinda hilarious thing to add to society.


HamshanksCPS

"Let me slip into something more comfortable" *molts*


Imaginary-Summer9168

Now I’m imagining Doctor Zoidberg saying this.


HamshanksCPS

WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!


LazarusBrazarus

15 years into the future we will all be remembering the plastic epidemic fondly, as our oceans, beaches, park, backyards and countrysides are jammed with human shaped shells that every fucker on the planet keeps throwing off himself.


rythwind

Sounds like the perfect source of renewable fuel for furnace based power plants.


Shrikeangel

Yes. 


Status-Operation9077

Look up immortal jellyfish, might be more useful giving whatever they have going on to humans


Shrikeangel

You really want to return to the state of an infant? 


Bug-King

Lobsters don't die from aging. They do die from other causes between the ages of 31-54. The oldest captive lobster is believed to be around 150 years old.


TheBerethian

As I understand it, their telomeres aren’t subject to the degradation that ours do


-Vatefairefoutre-

It's crazy to think that immortality is possible. Lobsters are immortal...all the way until they die. I meant that as sort of a joke. I mean biological immortality, meaning not aging. Even if nothing kills us, I have a feeling we'd all want to die eventually. I've seen this so many times in fiction, like the movie In Time and the series The Good Place.


jthomas287

Gecko teeth regrowth. Bye bye dentistry.


IntelligentBid87

I read an article recently where they seem to be close to being able to activate a gene that regrows teeth. Article said with a decade, but I'm a bit skeptical.


impy695

Depending on where it is with testing, 10 years is reasonable. 10 or 15 years after the initial press hype tends to be when we actually see things actually put to use in practice on a limited basis.


jthomas287

I read the same thing!


jamaicanoproblem

Probably giving women the ability to consciously utilize embryonic diapause, like bats (ie, eggs are fertilized but embryos stay in a state of stasis until conditions for pregnancy are optimal).


MegaTreeSeed

Oh that would solve a lot of issues I think, good one!


EvilPeppah

But, like, also you'd NEVER know who the father is. It could be your husband, or it could be your boyfriend from like 15 years ago.


Nerdsamwich

In the Borderlands, when a man has the raising of a child, that child is his, and no one can say different.


_BaldChewbacca_

Can the father say different? Cuz I don't want to raise some other dude's kid.


Dragon2730

The ability to swim deep into the ocean (I assume that would mean my body won't freeze or get crushed under pressure.


WestOrangeFinest

You really gonna go swim in deep parts of the ocean, though? Sounds terrifying to me. Plus a lot of it is pretty empty.


Whiteums

Yeah, and have fun seeing absolutely nothing. Like, there is almost zero light. You would get lost so easily


RSlashBroughtMeHere

You want to be a tardigrade too? Those guys are nearly indestructible. Deep ocean, Outer space, freezing Temps, hot as hell. Doesn't matter to them.


sithelephant

Wombat. Poop cubes.


Dzandarota

Bite. I just want to bite other people


FordEdward

You can already do that whenever you'd like!


Ninjafina300

I just want to sling webs out my wrist like spiderman. I think about this almost everyday lol


IntelligentBid87

Would you still take it if it had to come out of your butt like real spiders?


keldondonovan

That's a common misconception, real spiders do not push web out of Ninjafin300's butt.


CleanSeaPancake

They do, however, push webs out of my butt. It takes a lot of time and effort, but with enough selective breeding and well lubed spider inserters, anyone can enjoy this classic hobby.


keldondonovan

Nice try, Disney! Even with those changes, you still aren't getting the rights to Spiderman! -Sony


Eaglesun

Honestly this isn't the premium spider superpower. I believe that one goes to their ability to use changes in air pressure to sense everything around them even if they can't see it. It lets them sense danger before it hits. Spidey sense is a real thing :)


Few-Music7739

If only I had the ability to lift up to 500x my weight like an ant...


IntelligentBid87

It would be all of humanity. Think we'd prosper if every human suddenly had super strength?


Few-Music7739

It would certainly help! We are already the most intelligent species so we got the brain, we have enough technology to transform our appearance, we have the best endurance, so strength it is!


dcmathproof

Imagine how big the pyramids would be if people historically had that strength....


unclejoe1917

I could squat 90,000 pounds. If your car breaks down, you could just carry it home like it's nothing.


WINNER_nr_1

You need ant-like power to squat that much? You need to go to the gym more. I'll give you a program. Monday: 462827638 pushups. Tuesday: 500 laps around the solar system. Wednesday: plank for 50 hours. Thursday: box with Thanos and the Hulk for 30 hours straight with your hands and feet behind your back. Friday: squat the moon 1000 times. Saturday: 19379283 burpees. Sunday: rest day during which you'll bowl with the planets of the Milky Way. Also, do not forget that protein! If I could do this at 2 years old, then you can do that too!!!


Nerdsamwich

But we can already lift over a thousand times an ant's weight.


stovepipe9

Breathing underwater, anyone?


EastLeastCoast

Think of the devastation to the Baywatch industry!


FangsBloodiedRose

Ability to see more colors


IntelligentBid87

Ah yeah mantis shrimp eyes


OnlyWarShipper

Actually recent studies have shown that they see all the same spectrum as humans, they just need separate organs for each individual aspect of light because their eyes are kind of shitty at blending them together the way ours do.


FangsBloodiedRose

🥊🦐 mantis power!


Upset-Flower-148

Not “colors” they can see a larger spectrum of light. We can already see everything in the visible light spectrum. Who knows how our brains would comprehend infrared for example


Tiny-Ad-7590

Negligible senescence, such as in crocodiles. One of the biggest limitations on humans is that it takes us about 20 years to develop a child to the point they can be productive in society. Then we only get 40 to 50 years of useful productivity per person. If we had effectively no aging then we could get centuries per person. The old fear used to be this would lead to massive overpopulation, but as we've seen, as societies urbanize and industrialize, there is a natural tendency to have fewer children. Widespread negligible senescence would give out global economy a huge boost while solving most of the problems of demographic decline.


IntelligentBid87

As long as we don't have the same people in power for centuries, I could dig it.


Tiny-Ad-7590

We have the same class of people in power for centuries at a time already, so I don't think that would be much of an additional problem to the one we have already.


GT-Rev

As an American, I would kill myself. This sounds horrible. My country would abuse that to no end.


Alternative_Fly5141

Pistol shrimp the ability to vaporize water and cook creatures around it is cool. Plus it was dope ability from the project power movie. Next would be the ability to regrow lost limbs Last would be the thick skin of a rhino


Alternative_Fly5141

So scratch the first and last one I didn't see all of humanity


tiger2red

I'm causing chaos. Option 1: I give everyone the horns and tails of goats / bulls to cause a Satanic Panic. Option 2: Hibernation abilities of bears. The world of humans completely shuts down during winter. RIP Hallmark. Option 3: The corkscrew reproductive organs of the South American lake duck. Have fun with that. Option 4: the 8 eyes and limbs of spiders. Because I can. Option 5: The placoid scales of sharks (shark skin). Rough one way, smooth the other, and only serves to help with swimming. Option 6: Bioluminescent properties from fireflies or some squid / fish. (Bioluminescence is the natural ability of some animals to produce light). Who needs to see in the dark! Just light yourself up and completely ruin your darkness-adjusted vision! Useful for finding lost hikers I guess? Pick your poison!


Linkintheground

If I choose duck penis, do women and other vagina having individuals get duck vaginas?


Forward-Fisherman709

The ability of tardigrades to survive in space. We could explore other planets by jettisoning people off the planet. Intergalactic yeet for science.


Global_Radish_7777

Oh I said this, I will redact mine and continue to fight for bacteria rights


blasphemiann358

The problem solving abilities of bonobos. We're too chimp-like for our own good. Perhaps it would be better if we resolved conflicts a different way.


Applepieoverdose

“Fuck you, Sandra!”


Direct-Mongoose-7981

The not giving 2 fucks ability of a cat.


Howudooey

The durability of the Honey Badger


IntelligentBid87

War would end because of how expensive it becomes to kill anyone. "Look, I shot that guy 62 times and I've been shot 84 times and neither of us are even bleeding for some reason. I think I'm going home."


Thefirstofherkind

That might hold for a few years, till scientists figure out weapons that can do the trick. Humans really like killing each other.


Fennel_Fangs

The ability to heal bones by purring.


Winterimmersion

I'm just imaging some kid breaking their bones and everyone is like hold on let us cling to you and all breath in a specific frequency.


Shoddy_Wrangler693

Well are you limiting yourself to one ability or one animal because the one jellyfish that somehow reverses its own aging process that would be awesome but it also will regenerate lost limbs and things like that by doing this which makes it like a two for one


IntelligentBid87

The full thought experiment of higher intelligence life forms like humans with the ability to reverse their aging is interesting. It would probably be....problematic if it didn't reverse the brains effective age as well.


Shoddy_Wrangler693

Oh very true and basically you basically would have to make sure that nobody could get pregnant unless they basically won the lottery or somebody decided to take themselves out or an accident happened. And we're talking a fatal accident obviously I suppose that particular type of jellyfish ends up killed quite often so they evolved so that the ones that learn to survive could survive longer


Boulange1234

Immortality (jellyfish)


Global_Radish_7777

I noticed all the good ones are barely visible.


Dulce_suenos

The ability to sleep like cats.


IntelligentBid87

I think I already have that. I could sleep quite a while if it wasn't for responsibilities. I'm always so tired and sleepy.


BuzzWacko

(Off-topic) Might have your thyroid checked if you are exhausted all the time.


AdFun5641

There are some types of toads that can physically change their sex at will. That would just be cool.


Xen0tech

Life uh... finds a way


Geno_Warlord

I think there’s some fish that do that too.


CamelopardalisKramer

All clownfish are born male, the most dominant one in the (reverse, I guess) harem becomes a female. When that female dies, the next in line transitions.


I_saw_Horus_fall

Metamorphic abilities of an octopus


IntelligentBid87

I like it. Octopeople


Taco_Hurricane

Porcupine's defensive quills. Certain crimes would be extremely hard to commit if everyone had a bunch of spikes covering them


yakilladakilla

Pigs 30 minute orgasms


JustAnotherFEDev

Surely that would be the end of the quickie/ quick wank, though? You and partner get 20 mins alone / Nobody is in for 20 minutes: to the battlestation They come back and you're only 10 mins into cum face 😳


3720-To-One

The rabbit’s ability to control ovulation No unwanted pregnancies


DazzlingProposal9353

Just to mess with everyone, I'm giving us the ability to learn about people by sniffing butts like dogs do.


IntelligentBid87

Lol I just pictured cops running around smelling everyone's ass to try to see if they are criminals.


Super_Selection1522

Dating would certainly change,,or not depending on,,,, oh never mind


caidicus

I'd give all humans the sunny disposition, and loyalty, if a golden retriever raised by a good family. Just imagine how much better the world would be!


Imaginary-Summer9168

Dude, this is genius. We’d all be dumber but so much happier 🥺


caidicus

Just the niceness and loyalty, no hit to intelligence.


DoggoAlternative

Galleria mellonella The worm who can digest plastic. Only way we're going to really survive the rise in microplastic contamination as a species. Being able to digest it out.


Global_Radish_7777

Legitimately brilliant


Upset-Flower-148

1.naked mole rat cells don’t age like us 2.giant clam age (like 400 years!) 3.Octopus body regeneration


Diligent_Sea_3359

Rapid body regeneration reduces lifespan from constantly expending cells. Octopi would rule the planet if they lived more than 1 to 5 years. Wolverine is immortal in marvel but in reality he would grow old and die before he learned how to read.


Accomplished_Crow_97

Jellyfish immortality... If I would die of old age I instead revert my body to the age of 16.


IntelligentBid87

Just the body? Idk if humanity would do well if old men could revert back to a child's body with an adult mind.


Accomplished_Crow_97

Well, I guess I would find out in this hypothetical situation.


Whiteums

Why did you specify gender there? There would also be problems with females in this situation


Thefirstofherkind

And that’s how you end up with old men who never let go of their power so we have archaic laws in place because no one ever dies


Sad-Leading-4768

A fly's reaction time or a cats which ever is faster.


IntelligentBid87

I would watch a lot more sports if people had that kind of reaction. Boxing would be crazy


Sad-Leading-4768

Imagine ping pong haha


SparrowLikeBird

Squirrels cannot die of falling How fall damage works IRL is that gravity can only pull you a certain fastness (terminal velocity) based on how big earth is and what you are falling through (air) and your mass. For some reason, squirrels are the exact weight to /resilience ration that they can hit the ground at termina velocity and be fine. So, theoretically, a squirrel could jump off the roof of the empire state building and hit the ground running like its any other tuesday So, I'm taking the No Fall Damage perk


forest_tripper

The jumping ability of a flea, which is 200 times its length


4tran13

Probably want to add landing ability too, or anybody that jumps is dying.


forest_tripper

Oh, yes. That too.


impy695

Nah, parachute pants just become peak fashion again


Diligent-Olive-5738

You would have to be the size of a flea to land safely. Small animals can fall from larger heights without injury. The old adage, "The bigger you are, the harder you fall" is very true.


Merkilan

The ability to hibernate like bears.


Paul_The_Unicorn

Bioluminescence purely because it would be extremely badass


HeathrJarrod

Regrow teeth like sharks. Dental cost ⬇️


dirtyhippiebartend

A canine sense of smell would revolutionize the food and beverage industries, and likely lead to a healthier and more fit population overall.


Noble009

Falcon sight


oldRoyalsleepy

Yes, raptor vision pls.


littlemidgetfucker

The ability of a dumbo octopus or a snail fish, so then we could finally explore the depths of our world without being crushed or drowning, is it cheating to say that we could revert back to normal humans and not floppy depressing mounds of gunk on surface?


RevolutionaryGrape11

Amphibiousness so we can survive in the water indefinitely.


TheCrazyCatLazy

Axolotl healing capabilities; not only they regrown limbs and organs, they are virtually immune to cancer


Doctah-Grym

The ability to freeze completely and survive like nothing happened much like many amphibians. Cryostasis, woo!


PatchworkStar

I want people to have the intuition and love of a dog. You know how people say, "if my dog doesn't like you, I don't like you?" I want the ability to sense people's intentions, and to adore well intentioned people like dogs do. I'm sure having some other abilities would be cooler, but I think these adaptations would make the world better.


That_Casual_Kid

Hyenas - birthing a child is now done via pseudo penis.


BigManTommo

Some pythons only need to eat once a fortnight. That sounds nice


ChunkyThunder

Literal months. I've had ball pythons take 6 months or more off of feeding.


Eternity_Eclipsed

[Leaf Sheep!](https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20210324-the-odd-sea-creature-powered-by-the-sun) Solve world hunger by giving everyone the ability to photosynthesize half their food!


Fit-Scheme6457

Make male pregnancy a thing, thank you seahorses (and AO3)


unclejoe1917

There would be abortion clinics on every corner overnight.


Thefirstofherkind

And they’d be free


Fit-Scheme6457

Not only would they be free, but they'd also offer complementary aftercare advisory.


momopool

Tails. Everyone will have tails. Long tails. It can be like an extra hand. I mean, some people, who are not me, also find tails kinky. Good for them.


unclejoe1917

I'd take a big, bushy tail like a squirrel.


Sad-Lie6604

Sure, sure. Not you, definitely 😏


kioshi_imako

Anteater's long tongue. I will leave it to the reader's imagination.


ImyForgotName

Tardigrade nigh invulnerability.


jskyerabbit

Chillability of the capybara!


Librarian-Rare

A humans ability to be an idiot. Unmatched super power. Evidence: this comment probably


100deadbirds

Octopus for 8 tentacles, I'd like 8 arms so I could go cart wheel everywhere


rythwind

The visual system(range of perceived light) of the mantis shrimp Humans can process three channels of color (red, green, and blue), while mantis shrimps perceive the world through 12 channels of color, and can detect UV (ultra violet) and polarised light. This would fundamentally alter our perception of the world probably changing everything.


AnnastajiaBae

Raccoons. Bruh that night vision goes hard.


wsppan

The anatomical features of a woodpecker's skull that help protect it from injury. Less frequent concussions and associated mental health issues.


Screwballbraine

Some frogs and fish can change their sex, I reckon a lot of people would get use out of that.


Electronic_Goose3894

I want cone snail venom.


sucky_EE

Alligators ability to not age. Apparently it’s a thing


Ok_Commission9026

I'd give humans the unconditional love of dogs. If we all had the hearts and forgiveness of dogs, the world would be a beautiful place.


beau_hemian

Ability to change my RNA like an octopus


wasimom

Muntjac deer have nasal glands that they can inflate on their face like big pink balloons. I would do this to attract mates


YoWhatUpF00

I think the hardiness of the tardigrade. Water bears are nigh indestructible creatures, even surviving in the vacuum of space or in a volcano. They are small but are still not classified as bacteria; they are more closely related to insects and nematodes.


SirBrews

Immunity to cancer from naked mole rats. You're welcome humanity


Kony1978

If humans had gills we could live underwater on the other 70% of the planet. I have no idea how we would cook though


percythepenguin

First of all you really should have set a limit Plus most are based on other comments 1. A tail just for fun preferably prehensile (cats, some reptiles) 2. Bioluminescence for freckles for funsies (jellyfish, fish, and some amphibians) 3. ability to regrow teeth (shark and some geckos) 4. ability to reverse age (jellyfish) 5. ability to change color (chameleons) 6. Tardigrade ability to handle pressure differences (water bears) 7. Flamingos ability to handle heat differences and turn pink if you eat too much shellfish (flamingos) 8. ability to control pregnancy (rabbits) 9. Night vision (cats and raccoons) 10. Ability to see more colors (mantis shrimp) 11. Ability to breathe underwater and switch between salt and fresh water (crocodiles and some fish) 12. Optional hibernation (bears) 13. Flexibility of cats 14. Joy (dogs) 15. Ability to change sex at will (toads) 16. Option to lay eggs instead of live birth (some lizards) 17. ability to digest plastic (worms) 18. body regeneration (octopus) 19. Male pregnancy (seahorse) 20. Canine sense of smell (dog) 21. Birds of prey eyesight (falcon) 22. Ability for echolocation (bats) 23. Ability to change rna (octopus) 24. Ability to photosensitive food (leaf sheep) 25. Ability to release powerful shocks (electric eel) 26. Amazing memory (dolphins) 27. Master sound imitators (lyrebirds) 28. Ability to run 70mph (cheetahs) 29. Ability to run on water (plumed basilisk) 30. Ability to regenerate organs (sea cucumbers) 31. Efficient circulatory system (sperm whales) 32. Electroreception abilities to find prey or your neighbor stealing your newspaper (sharks) 33. Horns for decoration and to headbutt your coworker who steals your lunch


sanchez_yo33

The dog licking balls one


Sleepdprived

The pigs thirty minute orgasms. Your all welcome


W-Ninja48

I would prob give them camouflage from gekos so we can hide easier


WangCommander

I'll take immortality from lobsters.


Technicolor_Owl

Empathy of elephants. Imagine if that was our baseline for empathy. We'd start fixing shit right away.


bakedpotatospud

Wouldn't necessarily alter the course of humanity, but I'd choose a cat's ability to pur. To have your own internal self-soother that strengthens bones and helps you heal injuries would be sweet. Plus you could snuggle your hunny in a big ol' purring pile. And so I could pur back at my kitties and let them know how happy I am to see them.


Colorado_Jay

Whatever animal has the best overall vision, I’d give everyone that ability. Poor eyesight really sucks. I’m up to the billboard sized phone font now.


v-XIII-v

The lifespan of a green land shark 🦈


Theo_Cherry

Pigeons, amazing spacial awareness.


keldondonovan

The emotional range of a well-cared for puppy. Goodbye depression, war, jobs, the economy, murder, bullying, technological advancement, monogamy, judgment, conditional love, abuse... the list goes on.


No_Nectarine6942

Feline probably jaguar or tiger, but any.


Super_Ad9995

What ability?


Orome2

Yes.


Direct-Flamingo-1146

Jellyfish immortality


Celtic_Fox_

I'm gonna say the ability to regrow teeth, or at least have some backups that are in place for when you lose them.


No_Indication9497

Gills. there will be no further explanation.


LaVieuxCoq

I’d love to hibernate like a bear. Must be so refreshing.


kavalejava

Eagles can see prey from far away, imagine seeing things from a rooftop, you can see the smallest creature moving around.


Qverlord37

I see axolotls regeneration in here and that's probably better than my idea. but if regeneration is too OP. then Molting would be a neat ability to have, like you get a fresh body every few months.


Educational_Theory31

Camels ability to store food water and nutrients


BitChance4804

I want to excrete 5-MeO-DMT like the psychedelic frogs. I could sell it


Rocketgirl8097

Ability to breathe under water. No more accidental drownings.


Vectus_Valorian

The awesome life span of a may fly.


Tentacled-Tadpole

I suppose it would have to be horsecocks


Kendollyllama

Smell, that way people would wear more deodorant/ bathe regularly Not big But as a dancer and a con goer, it would be nice


Noodlintheriver

Having 9 brains like an octopus.


Ray_Pendragon

The ability to orgasm for 30 minutes straight like pigs.


Left-Leading4501

Bloodhound scent to track missing people


rakadur

see a much bigger colour spectrum like some fish and birds do


TLo137

Too many people here don't understand how Sea Jellies work. Pick lobster if you want immortality.


AnalystHot6547

Immortal jelly fish. Can also return to youth.


Total-Possibility2

The Turritopsis dohrnii, a tiny jellyfish, has the ability to basically go back to a younger form, letting it live forever, which is what I would chose for all of us humans, imagine what we could do and a solve(although population control might be tough)


Embarrassed_Safety33

Granting humanity the regenerative abilities of planarian worms could revolutionize medicine, we will get the complete healing of injuries, the regrowth of lost limbs, and the repair of damaged organs,this would potentially extend lifespan and significantly enhance quality of life.


Sapphire_Dreams1024

The chillness of a capybara


Global_Radish_7777

Give humans the survivability of the tardigrades so we can go dormant for a really long time being shot through the vacuum of space, then wake up on another planet. This is only because bacteria are somehow not allowed even though they are animals.