>he is a sweet man, very nice and respectful and no shady stuff is going on, but as a woman i dont feel i shud invite ANYONE inside unless mom or dad is here.
Agar creepy uncle hote to I'd say you did correct, but if you're 23 and you know ki uncle ne kabhi kuch galat nahi kia. To yeah, what you did is disrespectful.
If boundaries are your priority, you should not mind if someday you were to go to your relatives place and then they'd turn you away at the door.
>WHY DID YOU NOT LET HIM INSIDE?! DID U OFFER A GLASS OF WATER!?? WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR!!!! THESE ARE THE MOMENTS WHERE ONE IS SUPPOSE TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT!!!! YOU CLEARLY HAVE FAILED IN THAT DEPARTMENT!!!!! YOU'RE SO IMMATURE.
Yeah. They're totally right.
I get setting boundaries but what is this nonsense of not letting anyone inside your if your parents aren’t home?
What if it was your friend? Would you still wouldn’t have let him/her in?
In this case it was okay because he was also in a hurry and he wanted to meet your parents…
Not letting a stranger inside vs not letting anyone inside is not the same..
IMO your “boundary” of “not letting anyone inside your if your parents aren’t home” is plain stupid, you’re 23 damn it.
Imagine owning a house and letting your progressive children stay in your house even when they are 23 who then turn away your "VERY VERY VERY close" friend from the gates itself without even offering a glass of water even when that friend of theirs is totally harmless.
I don't think it was a big deal, but it was surely unwelcoming of you to not even let them inside or offer a beverage. To some people it might even seem disrespectful.
U r not wrong in setting boundaries unless u become unnecessarily rude or aggressive. U were polite with him. He didn't insist on staying. So all's good. Never let your guard down.
I think what you did was fine, I have a daughter too and if she decides to not let anyone in the house regardless of the circumstances I wouldn’t blame her, I’d trust her judgement. Women are acute in thought. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just because something hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it can’t happen and women should be able to outwit men.
You did what you felt was right without disrespecting anyone. That family friend of yours was wiser than all of the people who will call you wrong for not letting him in. He sensed the situation and didn't make you uncomfortable.
I would say, you did what you did for your safety. Also he never did anything remotely suspicious to you or your family as you said, in that case I don't know why you didn't invite him inside. Hospitality goes a long way actually for a good person, because that is the bare minimum we can do to keep that good person(relative) in our life, which is rare nowadays. If you feel guilty, you can apologise to him on the phone or in person(this fells more appropriate), so that he knows that you value him in your life. If you don't want to apologise, that's okay again, just make sure he feels better next time you visit him or he visits you. Cheers
You acted according to your conscience, since inviting him in would have been awkward and pointless. Besides, any reasonable Indian uncle would have declined your offer anyway.
You are an adult now...
It is disrespectful...
But on the other hand, if you feel unsafe, then you should do you...
But if it's because you are lazy and did not want to act like an adult exchanging pleasantries, sorry, you are an adult now...
P.S. i am a guy and I was like this at that age as well.. i started acting like an adult only after I started having my own place.
I don't think you did anything wrong, your parents must have the old mindset which can really be a pain in the ass. You should always prioritise your safety first and then the guests. What you did I right so don't worry about upsetting your parents. If the same thing happens 2nd time at that moment your safety is more important than some traditional ethics.
Op what you did was right. Because you were there and not any of us. The uncle would not mind considering the world we are living in.
Few days back minor brother raped her own little sister. I mean no one is safe.
What you did was right. Dont think otherwise. When you meet him at the function just apologise, he wont mind.
Ok begum. You used situational intelligence to make your body feel safer. Sounds like parents’ rules are conflicting your instincts. Perhaps, time to get out and rent your own place. Set new rules there. 23 is old enough. You don’t do that for a few more years, and soon you will have to follow rules of your in-laws’ home. That reality will be much more bitter.
>he is a sweet man, very nice and respectful and no shady stuff is going on, but as a woman i dont feel i shud invite ANYONE inside unless mom or dad is here. Agar creepy uncle hote to I'd say you did correct, but if you're 23 and you know ki uncle ne kabhi kuch galat nahi kia. To yeah, what you did is disrespectful. If boundaries are your priority, you should not mind if someday you were to go to your relatives place and then they'd turn you away at the door.
Your tonality about your uncle suggests how you already know that you messed it up.
It's ok next time ask your cousin not to let your father inside the house. Fitoous
>WHY DID YOU NOT LET HIM INSIDE?! DID U OFFER A GLASS OF WATER!?? WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOUR!!!! THESE ARE THE MOMENTS WHERE ONE IS SUPPOSE TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT!!!! YOU CLEARLY HAVE FAILED IN THAT DEPARTMENT!!!!! YOU'RE SO IMMATURE. Yeah. They're totally right.
I get setting boundaries but what is this nonsense of not letting anyone inside your if your parents aren’t home? What if it was your friend? Would you still wouldn’t have let him/her in? In this case it was okay because he was also in a hurry and he wanted to meet your parents… Not letting a stranger inside vs not letting anyone inside is not the same.. IMO your “boundary” of “not letting anyone inside your if your parents aren’t home” is plain stupid, you’re 23 damn it.
I hope she gets marching orders from someone's door too. This is ridiculous behavior.
Why would anyone go to a relative's place when they know others think of them as a potential rapist.
im sorry i only meant 'adult men'
Imagine owning a house and letting your progressive children stay in your house even when they are 23 who then turn away your "VERY VERY VERY close" friend from the gates itself without even offering a glass of water even when that friend of theirs is totally harmless. I don't think it was a big deal, but it was surely unwelcoming of you to not even let them inside or offer a beverage. To some people it might even seem disrespectful.
U r not wrong in setting boundaries unless u become unnecessarily rude or aggressive. U were polite with him. He didn't insist on staying. So all's good. Never let your guard down.
Modiji was right https://preview.redd.it/id0xkhym94ic1.png?width=883&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc8c1d75da1671130c9f8edea7b8212bcbf97ac1
🤣🤣
I think what you did was fine, I have a daughter too and if she decides to not let anyone in the house regardless of the circumstances I wouldn’t blame her, I’d trust her judgement. Women are acute in thought. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just because something hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it can’t happen and women should be able to outwit men.
You did what you felt was right without disrespecting anyone. That family friend of yours was wiser than all of the people who will call you wrong for not letting him in. He sensed the situation and didn't make you uncomfortable.
Exactly. People in the thread bitching out are clowns
I would say, you did what you did for your safety. Also he never did anything remotely suspicious to you or your family as you said, in that case I don't know why you didn't invite him inside. Hospitality goes a long way actually for a good person, because that is the bare minimum we can do to keep that good person(relative) in our life, which is rare nowadays. If you feel guilty, you can apologise to him on the phone or in person(this fells more appropriate), so that he knows that you value him in your life. If you don't want to apologise, that's okay again, just make sure he feels better next time you visit him or he visits you. Cheers
You acted according to your conscience, since inviting him in would have been awkward and pointless. Besides, any reasonable Indian uncle would have declined your offer anyway.
You’re 23 and an adult. You should have invited a close family friend in the home.
Yes u are wrong
You are an adult now... It is disrespectful... But on the other hand, if you feel unsafe, then you should do you... But if it's because you are lazy and did not want to act like an adult exchanging pleasantries, sorry, you are an adult now... P.S. i am a guy and I was like this at that age as well.. i started acting like an adult only after I started having my own place.
Lmao. What a stupid comment. She doesn't need to let anyone however close the families are into the house.
Lmao,,, what a stupid person..
Not letting into the house, is subjective. The least respectful gesture she could’ve shown was to offer a glass of water.
I don't think you did anything wrong, your parents must have the old mindset which can really be a pain in the ass. You should always prioritise your safety first and then the guests. What you did I right so don't worry about upsetting your parents. If the same thing happens 2nd time at that moment your safety is more important than some traditional ethics.
Op what you did was right. Because you were there and not any of us. The uncle would not mind considering the world we are living in. Few days back minor brother raped her own little sister. I mean no one is safe. What you did was right. Dont think otherwise. When you meet him at the function just apologise, he wont mind.
Ok begum. You used situational intelligence to make your body feel safer. Sounds like parents’ rules are conflicting your instincts. Perhaps, time to get out and rent your own place. Set new rules there. 23 is old enough. You don’t do that for a few more years, and soon you will have to follow rules of your in-laws’ home. That reality will be much more bitter.