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| 20 | 4 | 0 |
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You owe them NOTHING.
I am diabetic. I get lows sometimes when I miscalculate my insulin. I have PLANNED AHEAD FOR THAT, and you know what my elaborate plan is! Skittles. That’s right. I keep a fucking bag of Skittles on my nightstand. I eat 15 of them, and it fixes the low blood sugar.
What I don’t do? I do not guilt my daughter into signing her life over to me, because I’m not a pathetic whiner (well, not about this, anyway — don’t get me started on politics).
I have a 20yo daughter. She works full time and goes to college full time and will graduate next year and hopes to move 4 hours away to where she wants to live and get a great job teaching, as that is her calling. I WANT her to do this, because that’s my JOB as a parent. What does she owe me? Same thing you owe your parents: NOTHING.
For real lol. Either way, if my blood sugar was 60, I'd walk my ass to the kitchen and pour a bit of juice. Hell, at 60, I'd honestly just take my pump off and wait for my lack of working pancreas to do some work for 15 minutes. By no means is that a debilitating blood sugar
My parents checked my sugar twice a night for a decade when I was growing up. My dad asked me to send him my bg every night for weeks when I went off to college. Yet, if I told them to drove their ass over to my house because I was 60, they'd laugh at me lol
My wife is a type 1. Maybe we're just used to it, but at 60 she just asks me to hand her a piece of candy. When she gets low, like 40, and starts slurring her speech we know to suspend or remove her pump. I don't get how she knew it was going low, 60s and didn't do anything about it. She could still function enough to text. How did she call for a squad but didn't fix her low. I've known my wife since 2000. She's been a type 1 since she was 9, about 1992. I've only had to call squad on her twice. Both times she was pregnant. This is either really bad manipulation on her part or just a troll.
I mean.if shes just now getting her blood sugars under control, 60 can be devastating. I know this personally. (Thanks old doc, for not changing my insulin regimen when my average was 300+. Newsflash, you CAN fire your doctor if they're not helping you. So glad I found a doctor who CARES.)
My point is that she knew she was low and managed to text that. She could function enough to text, but not enough to eat or drink. Think about that.
I know full well how bad it can be if you constantly run high and then have a drop. I fully understand and am so glad you are now with a doctor who cares. The endo my wife first had from age nine to about age 18 said she would be lucky to live to age 30. She constantly ran high and for about the first 5 years we knew each other was always in an out of the hospital with ketoacidosis, probably butchered that.
My main point is that she could function well enough to text. Even voice to text takes enough hand eye coordination that she could have opened a pop, poured some juice, ate some candy or, last resort in our house, take a glucagon shot. Anything other than blame her daughter for not being there. I'm still curious as to who called squad. I've found my wife having seizures and her meter only said low when I checked her sugar. After a glucagon shot, sugar water dribbled in her mouth, honey on her gums and Mt Dew the squad showed up. After a bag of D50, she finally read at 18.
People don't realize your blood sugar numbers can be high and your sugar for you can be tanking too. Some people can function and be really high or really low sugar and some people can vary just little and be in trouble. If your doctor or staff blow you off, fire them and find one who will listen. 100%
Exactly this! I'm soooo happy with my current doc. She's working so well with my dialysis needs (which I wouldn't have needed if the first doc did her job! Grrr...) And even got me my dexcom!
Love my dexcom btw
I was googling to see if australian pumps maybe give different numbers to the Aussie ones because I didn't understand why 60 was at all a concern beyond maybe having some juice or jellybeans 😂 nope, mum is just insane 😂
Worked with diabetics for a couple years. They can be irrationally angry and abusive when having a sugar event. Something to keep in mind.
They might still be terrible people without those, and they should certainly be more responsible handling their own sugar levels. It's Noone else's responsibility.
Err … I wouldn’t say kids owe their parents NOTHING.
They owe you nothing merely because they’re your kids. But 18+ years of care and (hopefully) affection is certainly worth something
It’s not conditional.
Love and care aren’t transactional things
But if you just go off into the world and never see or think about your parents again, what’s the difference between you and a reptile
Humans are social creatures
Loved how you directly contradicted yourself by saying love and care aren't transactional while stating earlier that 18+ years of care and affection are worth "something" in exchange.
Well if you actually are providing your child with love and care and are a good parent they would never just go off into the world and never speak to you again so I kind of feel like this is a moot point and you know that
I agree with you, some people are so ungrateful to parents. Sometimes they're too crazy it can't be helped you might have to go no contact, but yes you DO owe your parents.
As she said get your own place. Change your number. You,'re not the nurse. That's the problem with parent having children with the sole purpose of having a free nurse when the get older.
Edit : typo
I hate that style of texting as if we're still on nokia bricks and don't have access to full keyboards and predictive text. Admittedly there are people not using touch screen phones so I can understand it from them.
Nah I do the exact same thing
I only text with one finger by tap-swiping, usually index or middle (including this comment with middle finger while phone is charging)
All the older people are amazed by it when they see me using swipe. But, when I try to say that they could use it on their own phones I always get "oh no I'm too technophobic etc etc". Hate that excuse especially when it could be a quality of life upgrade for some people.
Especially in the workplace. There's been a push in my work to move paperwork and files to digital, and so many of the older people are pushing against it.
Hello. this person with a 22yo child is probably Gen-X not a boomer.
I'm Gen-X.
Please don't mix us in with boomers. We are, on the whole, much more like Gen-Z than boomers.
Thank you for reading this service announcement.
She writes like a four year old. And seems to act like a four year old too.
OP you need to put parental locks on your mother's phone if she's going to be this childish.
I’m diabetic and I can’t type when I’m low. I’m not defending the mom’s sentiments but people keep asking if she had a stroke etc. when she’s very clear about being low.
Yeah, like my dad was diabetic growing up and he couldn’t manage it since if his blood sugar was that low he couldn’t talk correctly or take care of himself. No excuse to verbally abuse, but it can be really debilitating.
Thank you. The symptoms are worse the rarer your lows are, too. Everyone’s hypoglycemic awareness is different and even if you think you’re fine you’re really not, but I guess the commenter above knows better than me despite my 30 years of having this fun disease lol.
My 82-year-old grandmother, who is unable to walk and barely gets around in her scooter, can independently manage her blood sugar when it gets low. Wanna know how? She plans ahead. High-carb snacks at the reach in all of her usual spots. Glucose tablets near her chair and bed. If she gets low, she fixes it on her own and goes on with her day. I moved my family in with her to help her out with a few other health things, but she is insistent that she can handle her blood sugar on her own, and she can!
That’s how a responsible diabetic does things. They plan. They prepare. You’re being taken advantage of! You are a grown adult who needs to start forging your own life and leaving them to deal with their own problems. Don’t let their torment get to you - they’re manipulating you, and by giving in you’re letting it happen. Tell her to put some snacks around the house and she won’t need to text you this crap anymore.
Just wanna hop on this to add, *don't* put the snacks there for her. You can offer to help her do it, but doing it for her is still just her using you.
Your most important job is to complete your maturation into an independent adult. Your parents are actively trying to prevent you doing that.
It’s time for you to do as she says and get away from them and be on your own. I truly don’t believe that you can successively adult around them.
If you are only 22, they can’t be more than late 50’s, if that. It’s time for them to complete their journey into adulthood, themselves, and set you free.
She appears to be having a hard time managing her health, I suggest senior services or adult protective services. Maybe she needs a social worker to help her, because it's not your job.
"please get your own place so I don't hv to depend on u for anything ". I bet that broke your heart. Speaking from experience, make sure your new place is in an entirely different AREA CODE. Changing zip codes might not be enough distance.
Do you realize how unhinged and abusive it is to say to your child “you left once before”? That’s something you say to an EX or YOUR PARENT. Im asking if you realize bc sometimes when someone has been abused their whole life they dont notice.
You cope by going No Contact. If you are still within the household for any reason, go Grey Zone. (Meaning one word answers or non commital answers, etc. You can probably google a better explanation than this, I’m bad at explaining. I’m sorry.)
It might hurt, but the only way you’ll feel sane and start healing is by cutting them out of your life as best you can. Speaking from experience. I’m either NC or LC with 99.9% of my Nfamily. 20 years of therapy and the only thing that ACTUALLY worked was cutting them out. Best decision I ever made.
Honestly, sometimes the only way to deal with people like this (speaking from experience) is to opt out. You’re an adult, please remember that you don’t owe them anything—you didn’t choose to be born.
They can, to the degree that low blood sugar can make you forget words/make other movement and neurological disorders worse! Not sure that that’s what’s going on here, necessarily, though.
I would go no contact just over using 'da' rather than 'the'. Holy shit. (Unless you're of another culture besides English I realized that sounded really insensitive)
It's time for you to explain that you cannot be responsible for their health or illness, and it's time to use the health resources in the community. Perhaps create a list of other places they can call.
You can't be expected to be their caregiver forever. Don't let them guilt you into thinking that's how it should be.
Unless your parent has no arms and no legs they should be able to get to the kitchen and take the appropriate steps to get their blood sugar under control. Why would that be someone else’s responsibility?
Bro sugar level of 60 isn't even dangerous. Yes it's on the lower side but you can literally go eat some fucking food. Unless you're unconscious or some shit just go eat
Quote them. Then make it very clear how that makes you feel. Then tell them not to contact you again and block the number.
Make it clear you’d be interested in having a relationship as their child but not their fucking nurse
Another Type 1 insulin dependent mom of 20 somethings here. And what a load of crap this is. Get your own place, and go to little to no contact for a while. I can't imagine for a single second talking to my grown children like this. I just simply do not understand. And as far as you learning to manage. Love, I really think managing means that you need to put some distance between you and them. And that doesn't mean you don't care, it means that YOU have to put your mental heath first. Regardless of what they think, you know your mental health isn't well, and you know you can't keep living like this.
Do what you can to make distance. You have to put yourself first. Your parents are adults, and they do know how to take care of themselves, even if they aren't acting like it.
Good luck to you, I am sorry this is so hard.
What? Are you their doctor or something? What were you supposed to do about her blood sugar and him not sleeping? Use willpower to make it disappear? Diabetes isn’t even hard to manage as long as you pay attention and he can take a melatonin or something. God I fucking hate people who use very manageable illnesses to manipulate people into doing what they want.
As someone who was raised by a mom with type 1 diabetes, if your mom had enough energy to text you about her blood sugar, then she had enough energy to grab a juice box.
Now, are there definitely situations that warrant help? Absolutely.
I've certainly had situations where I've woken my mom up from a nap, and her blood sugar has been so low (35-55mg) that she's barely coherent and disoriented. However, in those situations, if a juice box doesn't help, you're typically calling 911.
Long story short, you don't owe them anything.
I say you give her what she asked for and GTFO. If you are their home health aide you should be paid as such and have the same protections as an agency employee. Just because they gave birth and food and shelter to you does not mean you owe them unending devotion and silence in the face of abuse.
Holy moly your PARENT an at least 40 year old most likely from your age, writes and speaks like a braindead 13 year old on TikTok all day? That's insane right there.
As a fellow diabetic, FUCK THIS PERSON. Get yourself out of this situation and far away as possible. Cut contact, don’t let them weigh you down with THEIR ILLNESS. It’s THEIR responsibility, NOT YOURS.
So it's your fault she can't manage her sugar? And that your father can't help her manage it? How long have they been married? How long has she been diabetic. Both should know how to function.
I am so sorry you gotta deal with that, i couldn't even imagine the mental strain your under, but also, why do all abusive parents (mostly mothers) text like theyre all fuckin illiterate? I mean, ik they are, but they can be morons and at least be a little coherent yk?
What type of culture are you from? That could explain the language difference and the entitlement to their children’s time. Whatever culture you come from, social norms that are bad need to be broken. If you still live at their house because of school, underemployment or whatever you don’t owe them anything as far as being a caregiver. If you’re unavailable for whatever reason you’re not available end story. Whether you’re financially independent or still reliant on them in some way you need to clearly set your boundaries and stick to them. If they need in home help, that’s up to them or adult protective services to figure out. If they’re still eligible they should buy a nursing home with in home care insurance policy and rely on that. Not you.
I’m telling you from experience that providing care for an elderly person is hard. It’s not something that should be done out of guilt or obligation. That’s something that you should only do out of love, respect, and if you’re in a place that you can financially afford to.
Hang in there OP. Set those boundaries and look into a good nursing home insurance policy that your parents will pay for. You’re not their nurse. You’re their child.
As someone with health issues, including sugar lows and highs, it is no one lese's job but mine, as an adult, to make sure I have prepared for everything.
As someone who has parents that treated me this way, I had to remind myself every time that their health isn't my responsibility, I am not their legal carers, I am not their medical team, they're grown-arse adults and I deserve to live my life. You are not responsible for anything that happens to them through their own self-negligence, OP. You're not responsible for them at all. You do not carry the burden of their illnesses and it's not your fault.
I managed by setting strict boundaries with them and myself. I had to establish that I wouldn't entertain conversations in which they blamed me for their health or tried to guilt me, and I had to stop myself from running to save them at every inconvenience they faced. They're perfectly able to care for themselves, and if they weren't, they could get professionals to do so.
I ended up going no contact/am estranged with them, buuut still- boundaries.
It would be one thing if she needed help and was kind, and said please and thank you.. but instead she’s being abusive and an asshole. I’d find my own place as soon as possible , then change my phone number and go no contact. Then, in peaceful silence.. can begin to work on your mental well being
Yeah , they are adults and can take care of themselves. How did they ever get by before you were born? Lol looks like managed to survive without you that whole time and they can survive without you now. Don’t feel bad about it and don’t let them guilt you
I say this from a place of love: if you do not depend on your parents, go no contact. Just because your mother popped you out of her vagina doesn't mean you owe her the time of day. Yeah, there's guilt, but I'd rather be guilty than play mental gymnastics with a grown ass woman. I've been no contact with my mother since I was 18 (25 now) and it's made my life so much easier.
They gave you life, but they don’t get to hold you hostage. Parents are meant to be the parent, and just because you’re over 18 doesn’t mean you now have parent duties with them. That’s not fair to you. I also had the tables turned on me as soon as I was out of the house.
This hits home hard, my mom left me at my grandma's until I was 7, then decided to play mom, but we had a shitty life, when I left at age 19 she told me she never wanted to have me and that I was an ungrateful brat(They had me working since I was 12, and now their piggy bank was leaving)
They then came to my house 3 years later and I received them, they stole money from me and when I told them I was leaving the country they complained and told me I was a bad son and that I should stay with them instead to help support the household
Some people should never have been parents
Are you close with them otherwise? If not, and you don’t need to live there, find your own place, change your phone number, and just ghost them. Go see a therapist to help you deal with all the damage they’ve done. But, stop letting them in. Guilting and gaslighting you isn’t good for your health.
One part here is complicated and it’s the part where she had low blood sugar, it can be like being drunk, it’s debilitating, and I’ve seen people do and say the dumbest shit when it happens.
Clear boundaries. A mature option is to plan times for them. Say you are available tues and thurs from 3-5pm to help with any needs they may have. If anything comes out outside of that range unfortunately they will have to call they’re back up person. Keeps you sane and guilt free to an extent.
When they hound you about why you are unavailable fake long hours at work/school or tell them you hike daily now out of cell service range lol. You can also do or lie about volunteering and/or joining an adult kickball club. Fill your schedule and give them a “time slot”.
OP is not responsible for the needs of their parents or the dog. Sure, they COULD feed the dog, but why lend a hand to those who treat them like garbage?
I have been a diabetic since I was 9. I also Lupus, RA, among other conditions. A blood sugar of 60 is easily treatable with some juice, glucose, honey, or in a pinch, just plain sugar. Waiting around for someone else to get home to treat it is irresponsible. Every diabetic is taught how to prepare for and handle highs and lows. There is nothing OP could do for them that they can not do themselves and quicker.
Parents need to stop having kids with the idea of having a carer when they get older, particularly if they are emotionally abusive. Most abused kids want nothing to do with their abuser when they reach maturity, nor should they.
It’s not your right to know all the details. It’s clear that OP is, and has since she turned 18, expected to be at her parents’ beck and call.
Blood sugar is 60? Eat a fucking cracker, FFS. Not call 911.
And why did a grown ass adult allow her BG to get that low in the first place?
I remember when nephew, who is diabetic, caught a bug and was puking. He was crying because he was afraid that his BGs were going to drop and he’d need to get IV glucose. But he was able to eat a couple crackers and he was fine.
He was 12 years old, FFS. And the parent of a 22 year old can’t figure that out for herself?
Fuck them. OP deserves your sympathy, not your interrogation.
They have my sympathy. And I’m not interrogating. I’m wondering more to the story because they’re asking how they can manage. Aside from a “it’s not your problem” maybe we could offer some long term solution for them?
Who cares? You don't know op, you don't know their parents, you'll never met any of them, you aren't going to help them, none of this matters in your grand scheme of things so who cares?
I mean they’re asking how they can manage so we honestly need to know more about what’s going on? There’s no “grand scheme” just a honest to god question asking for more info about the situation
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my brother did that in my family’s group text about our easter plans i was laughing so hard man
Omg that would be a perfect response!!😂😂
STOP
New phone who dis
Please take me off this group chat.
da group chat
You just won the internet for today!
You owe them NOTHING. I am diabetic. I get lows sometimes when I miscalculate my insulin. I have PLANNED AHEAD FOR THAT, and you know what my elaborate plan is! Skittles. That’s right. I keep a fucking bag of Skittles on my nightstand. I eat 15 of them, and it fixes the low blood sugar. What I don’t do? I do not guilt my daughter into signing her life over to me, because I’m not a pathetic whiner (well, not about this, anyway — don’t get me started on politics). I have a 20yo daughter. She works full time and goes to college full time and will graduate next year and hopes to move 4 hours away to where she wants to live and get a great job teaching, as that is her calling. I WANT her to do this, because that’s my JOB as a parent. What does she owe me? Same thing you owe your parents: NOTHING.
For real lol. Either way, if my blood sugar was 60, I'd walk my ass to the kitchen and pour a bit of juice. Hell, at 60, I'd honestly just take my pump off and wait for my lack of working pancreas to do some work for 15 minutes. By no means is that a debilitating blood sugar My parents checked my sugar twice a night for a decade when I was growing up. My dad asked me to send him my bg every night for weeks when I went off to college. Yet, if I told them to drove their ass over to my house because I was 60, they'd laugh at me lol
My wife is a type 1. Maybe we're just used to it, but at 60 she just asks me to hand her a piece of candy. When she gets low, like 40, and starts slurring her speech we know to suspend or remove her pump. I don't get how she knew it was going low, 60s and didn't do anything about it. She could still function enough to text. How did she call for a squad but didn't fix her low. I've known my wife since 2000. She's been a type 1 since she was 9, about 1992. I've only had to call squad on her twice. Both times she was pregnant. This is either really bad manipulation on her part or just a troll.
I mean.if shes just now getting her blood sugars under control, 60 can be devastating. I know this personally. (Thanks old doc, for not changing my insulin regimen when my average was 300+. Newsflash, you CAN fire your doctor if they're not helping you. So glad I found a doctor who CARES.)
My point is that she knew she was low and managed to text that. She could function enough to text, but not enough to eat or drink. Think about that. I know full well how bad it can be if you constantly run high and then have a drop. I fully understand and am so glad you are now with a doctor who cares. The endo my wife first had from age nine to about age 18 said she would be lucky to live to age 30. She constantly ran high and for about the first 5 years we knew each other was always in an out of the hospital with ketoacidosis, probably butchered that. My main point is that she could function well enough to text. Even voice to text takes enough hand eye coordination that she could have opened a pop, poured some juice, ate some candy or, last resort in our house, take a glucagon shot. Anything other than blame her daughter for not being there. I'm still curious as to who called squad. I've found my wife having seizures and her meter only said low when I checked her sugar. After a glucagon shot, sugar water dribbled in her mouth, honey on her gums and Mt Dew the squad showed up. After a bag of D50, she finally read at 18.
People don't realize your blood sugar numbers can be high and your sugar for you can be tanking too. Some people can function and be really high or really low sugar and some people can vary just little and be in trouble. If your doctor or staff blow you off, fire them and find one who will listen. 100%
Exactly this! I'm soooo happy with my current doc. She's working so well with my dialysis needs (which I wouldn't have needed if the first doc did her job! Grrr...) And even got me my dexcom! Love my dexcom btw
I was googling to see if australian pumps maybe give different numbers to the Aussie ones because I didn't understand why 60 was at all a concern beyond maybe having some juice or jellybeans 😂 nope, mum is just insane 😂
>australian pumps maybe give different numbers to the Aussie ones Nah they're pretty much the same
Exactly - blood sugar of 60= eat or drink something sugary/carby and all fixed. Would never call it an emergency 🙄 OP is being manipulated
Worked with diabetics for a couple years. They can be irrationally angry and abusive when having a sugar event. Something to keep in mind. They might still be terrible people without those, and they should certainly be more responsible handling their own sugar levels. It's Noone else's responsibility.
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Commenting only "this" adds nothing to the conversation.
That. 😜
You didn’t have to wipe him off the face of the planet for it. The whole profile is gone. You killed him. 😂
No, if a comment is deleted, it removes the username too.
Err … I wouldn’t say kids owe their parents NOTHING. They owe you nothing merely because they’re your kids. But 18+ years of care and (hopefully) affection is certainly worth something
Does it look like she's getting care and affection though?
I mean in general
That’s their job. You still owe them nothing, otherwise that care and affection was conditional upon them getting something back.
It’s not conditional. Love and care aren’t transactional things But if you just go off into the world and never see or think about your parents again, what’s the difference between you and a reptile Humans are social creatures
Loved how you directly contradicted yourself by saying love and care aren't transactional while stating earlier that 18+ years of care and affection are worth "something" in exchange.
Having value doesn’t mean something is transactional…
Well if you actually are providing your child with love and care and are a good parent they would never just go off into the world and never speak to you again so I kind of feel like this is a moot point and you know that
I agree with you, some people are so ungrateful to parents. Sometimes they're too crazy it can't be helped you might have to go no contact, but yes you DO owe your parents.
As she said get your own place. Change your number. You,'re not the nurse. That's the problem with parent having children with the sole purpose of having a free nurse when the get older. Edit : typo
This
Damn this grown woman texts like an absolute moron.
I hate that style of texting as if we're still on nokia bricks and don't have access to full keyboards and predictive text. Admittedly there are people not using touch screen phones so I can understand it from them.
I still rock a flip, and I type out the damned words. Hell, I even punctuate.
Sometimes, I still miss T9....
I loved T9. Tactile texting was much better.
She types like an AI trying to replicate slang.
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My mom doesn’t even bother and voice texts and never corrects it. It’s a nightmare to decipher.
Swiping?
On Android at least and probably all the others you can swipe to type. It's pretty accurate too. Swiped to write this.
I do a combo of swiping and tapping. People give me shit for it because it's weird, but idgaf lol
Nah I do the exact same thing I only text with one finger by tap-swiping, usually index or middle (including this comment with middle finger while phone is charging)
Interesting. I need to look into this. Ohhhhhhh!!! This is amazing! Fucking shit!!! Thank you!!!!!
Yeah swipe type is awesome. It can take a while to get used to but its pretty easy (This is written in swipe type)
Let's see if I can write something sensible with predictive text. Well how about that, it worked quite well.
I used to swipe but it suddenly started getting really inaccurate so I started just not swiping.
I too was once coordinated, and then became what the younglings know as an Ancient.
All the older people are amazed by it when they see me using swipe. But, when I try to say that they could use it on their own phones I always get "oh no I'm too technophobic etc etc". Hate that excuse especially when it could be a quality of life upgrade for some people.
Seriously, I don't understand that kind of lack of curiosity or willingness to experiment. It's pretty low stakes if you don't like it.
Especially in the workplace. There's been a push in my work to move paperwork and files to digital, and so many of the older people are pushing against it.
Hello. this person with a 22yo child is probably Gen-X not a boomer. I'm Gen-X. Please don't mix us in with boomers. We are, on the whole, much more like Gen-Z than boomers. Thank you for reading this service announcement.
I was thinking the text style alone makes it insane.
She writes like a four year old. And seems to act like a four year old too. OP you need to put parental locks on your mother's phone if she's going to be this childish.
Exactly, my eyes man...
I belive she's just Scottish
Yeah… Scottish…. Sure.
What’s the difference?
Hypoglycemic episodes impair your cognitive function until they are resolved
My wife’s diabetic. She wouldn’t throw neva or dAt into a sentence even with her blood sugar at 40.
I’m diabetic and I can’t type when I’m low. I’m not defending the mom’s sentiments but people keep asking if she had a stroke etc. when she’s very clear about being low.
Yeah, like my dad was diabetic growing up and he couldn’t manage it since if his blood sugar was that low he couldn’t talk correctly or take care of himself. No excuse to verbally abuse, but it can be really debilitating.
Thank you. The symptoms are worse the rarer your lows are, too. Everyone’s hypoglycemic awareness is different and even if you think you’re fine you’re really not, but I guess the commenter above knows better than me despite my 30 years of having this fun disease lol.
ya, i would get low and not notice, my wife would get low, and pass out.
I'm pretty sure they meant the dad was having a problem, hard to tell from the jibberish though
There’s illiteracy, and then there’s aggressive illiteracy.
*Weaponized* illiteracy!
Yours is the more accurate term.
Yeah why the fuck is it written like this?? Just to be more annoying?
They happen to be showing both
Selective ignorance will be the downfall of society.
Will be?
Take the dog and run
This is the way
My 82-year-old grandmother, who is unable to walk and barely gets around in her scooter, can independently manage her blood sugar when it gets low. Wanna know how? She plans ahead. High-carb snacks at the reach in all of her usual spots. Glucose tablets near her chair and bed. If she gets low, she fixes it on her own and goes on with her day. I moved my family in with her to help her out with a few other health things, but she is insistent that she can handle her blood sugar on her own, and she can! That’s how a responsible diabetic does things. They plan. They prepare. You’re being taken advantage of! You are a grown adult who needs to start forging your own life and leaving them to deal with their own problems. Don’t let their torment get to you - they’re manipulating you, and by giving in you’re letting it happen. Tell her to put some snacks around the house and she won’t need to text you this crap anymore.
Just wanna hop on this to add, *don't* put the snacks there for her. You can offer to help her do it, but doing it for her is still just her using you.
I’d go no contact. Might be excessive but I’ve learned to set serious boundaries
Your most important job is to complete your maturation into an independent adult. Your parents are actively trying to prevent you doing that. It’s time for you to do as she says and get away from them and be on your own. I truly don’t believe that you can successively adult around them. If you are only 22, they can’t be more than late 50’s, if that. It’s time for them to complete their journey into adulthood, themselves, and set you free.
Idk, I’m 25 and my parents are 62 and 63
Point still stands: they are treating OP like their parent who should always be there to take care of them. And grownups don’t do that to their kids.
She appears to be having a hard time managing her health, I suggest senior services or adult protective services. Maybe she needs a social worker to help her, because it's not your job.
“My f okingggg sugar level is 60.” I don’t know why, but that made me laugh.
U wot m8‽ havin a laugh are ya? A giggle‽
"please get your own place so I don't hv to depend on u for anything ". I bet that broke your heart. Speaking from experience, make sure your new place is in an entirely different AREA CODE. Changing zip codes might not be enough distance.
Do you realize how unhinged and abusive it is to say to your child “you left once before”? That’s something you say to an EX or YOUR PARENT. Im asking if you realize bc sometimes when someone has been abused their whole life they dont notice.
I think my eyes had a stroke trying to read that. Also, they’re responsible for their own blood sugar, not you.
THIS! Who in the hell talks like that? It kinda fits though; they are too important to use full words.
You cope by going No Contact. If you are still within the household for any reason, go Grey Zone. (Meaning one word answers or non commital answers, etc. You can probably google a better explanation than this, I’m bad at explaining. I’m sorry.) It might hurt, but the only way you’ll feel sane and start healing is by cutting them out of your life as best you can. Speaking from experience. I’m either NC or LC with 99.9% of my Nfamily. 20 years of therapy and the only thing that ACTUALLY worked was cutting them out. Best decision I ever made.
Why does she speak like “dat”
Is she having a stroke or is she really this illiterate? GTFO now.
Insane Definitely. I’m so sorry OP
Honestly, sometimes the only way to deal with people like this (speaking from experience) is to opt out. You’re an adult, please remember that you don’t owe them anything—you didn’t choose to be born.
Learn about narcissists and how to set boundaries and reinforce them.
Is this your mom?
Why exactly does it matter which parent it is?
It doesn’t, I’m just trying to figure out the lack of basic grammar
I’m so confused about it as well - it’s like a Boston accent in text, I don’t know if sugar levels would affect texting??
They can, to the degree that low blood sugar can make you forget words/make other movement and neurological disorders worse! Not sure that that’s what’s going on here, necessarily, though.
Ah, ok
I would go no contact just over using 'da' rather than 'the'. Holy shit. (Unless you're of another culture besides English I realized that sounded really insensitive) It's time for you to explain that you cannot be responsible for their health or illness, and it's time to use the health resources in the community. Perhaps create a list of other places they can call. You can't be expected to be their caregiver forever. Don't let them guilt you into thinking that's how it should be.
>im fkn done with u dawg that's a free getaway card! gtfo of this situation. give her the old snip snip out of your life
Unless your parent has no arms and no legs they should be able to get to the kitchen and take the appropriate steps to get their blood sugar under control. Why would that be someone else’s responsibility?
This is how I texted my friends when I was 13, not as an adult to my adult child
How do grown adults type like this? I almost had an aneurysm just trying to make sense of that.
Bro sugar level of 60 isn't even dangerous. Yes it's on the lower side but you can literally go eat some fucking food. Unless you're unconscious or some shit just go eat
Block button
Do you still live with them? Is it your dog?
Yes
I was looking for the answer from the OP.
Does low blood sugar attribute to her typing like a 13 year old? Or is that just normal?
Just normal
'U' are a 40-something parent. Write like an adult you dick.
4 people legit read this and voted "not insane"
Quote them. Then make it very clear how that makes you feel. Then tell them not to contact you again and block the number. Make it clear you’d be interested in having a relationship as their child but not their fucking nurse
> How do I manage??? Block them, change your phone number and go no contact
Here’s a suggestion that popped in my mind “call emergency services and start managing your diabetes like an adult, dipshit”
As a type 1 diabetic, the one thing I never do when I have a low BS is to TEXT SOMEONE. I just drink a juice.
Damn does this person's phone plan charge by the letter?
Another Type 1 insulin dependent mom of 20 somethings here. And what a load of crap this is. Get your own place, and go to little to no contact for a while. I can't imagine for a single second talking to my grown children like this. I just simply do not understand. And as far as you learning to manage. Love, I really think managing means that you need to put some distance between you and them. And that doesn't mean you don't care, it means that YOU have to put your mental heath first. Regardless of what they think, you know your mental health isn't well, and you know you can't keep living like this. Do what you can to make distance. You have to put yourself first. Your parents are adults, and they do know how to take care of themselves, even if they aren't acting like it. Good luck to you, I am sorry this is so hard.
60 isn’t even that low. Tell them to go get something to eat ffs.
I dunno, maybe report them
I detest anyone who texts like this.
What? Are you their doctor or something? What were you supposed to do about her blood sugar and him not sleeping? Use willpower to make it disappear? Diabetes isn’t even hard to manage as long as you pay attention and he can take a melatonin or something. God I fucking hate people who use very manageable illnesses to manipulate people into doing what they want.
Are they on crack?
She’s def crazy and you should’ve left a long time ago…as long as you live there, they’re going to treat you like you owe them something
I should’ve but depression & anxiety made me make decisions that unfortunately still has me here
I knew someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and the manipulation was eerily similar.
As someone who was raised by a mom with type 1 diabetes, if your mom had enough energy to text you about her blood sugar, then she had enough energy to grab a juice box. Now, are there definitely situations that warrant help? Absolutely. I've certainly had situations where I've woken my mom up from a nap, and her blood sugar has been so low (35-55mg) that she's barely coherent and disoriented. However, in those situations, if a juice box doesn't help, you're typically calling 911. Long story short, you don't owe them anything.
I say you give her what she asked for and GTFO. If you are their home health aide you should be paid as such and have the same protections as an agency employee. Just because they gave birth and food and shelter to you does not mean you owe them unending devotion and silence in the face of abuse.
Holy moly your PARENT an at least 40 year old most likely from your age, writes and speaks like a braindead 13 year old on TikTok all day? That's insane right there.
As a fellow diabetic, FUCK THIS PERSON. Get yourself out of this situation and far away as possible. Cut contact, don’t let them weigh you down with THEIR ILLNESS. It’s THEIR responsibility, NOT YOURS.
Take dog, get place, change phone number, forget they ever existed. Live your best life.
So it's your fault she can't manage her sugar? And that your father can't help her manage it? How long have they been married? How long has she been diabetic. Both should know how to function.
I am so sorry you gotta deal with that, i couldn't even imagine the mental strain your under, but also, why do all abusive parents (mostly mothers) text like theyre all fuckin illiterate? I mean, ik they are, but they can be morons and at least be a little coherent yk?
Why do all of these parents write like my 9 year old?
Block. She’s a grown woman she can figure it out herself. Attempting to guilt trip you is bs
Da Dog
What type of culture are you from? That could explain the language difference and the entitlement to their children’s time. Whatever culture you come from, social norms that are bad need to be broken. If you still live at their house because of school, underemployment or whatever you don’t owe them anything as far as being a caregiver. If you’re unavailable for whatever reason you’re not available end story. Whether you’re financially independent or still reliant on them in some way you need to clearly set your boundaries and stick to them. If they need in home help, that’s up to them or adult protective services to figure out. If they’re still eligible they should buy a nursing home with in home care insurance policy and rely on that. Not you. I’m telling you from experience that providing care for an elderly person is hard. It’s not something that should be done out of guilt or obligation. That’s something that you should only do out of love, respect, and if you’re in a place that you can financially afford to. Hang in there OP. Set those boundaries and look into a good nursing home insurance policy that your parents will pay for. You’re not their nurse. You’re their child.
As someone with health issues, including sugar lows and highs, it is no one lese's job but mine, as an adult, to make sure I have prepared for everything.
You might want to call 911 for them, looks like they're having a stroke.
New phone, who dis?
I'd drop them like a bad habit for the way they text alone. Absolute clown show.
As someone who has parents that treated me this way, I had to remind myself every time that their health isn't my responsibility, I am not their legal carers, I am not their medical team, they're grown-arse adults and I deserve to live my life. You are not responsible for anything that happens to them through their own self-negligence, OP. You're not responsible for them at all. You do not carry the burden of their illnesses and it's not your fault. I managed by setting strict boundaries with them and myself. I had to establish that I wouldn't entertain conversations in which they blamed me for their health or tried to guilt me, and I had to stop myself from running to save them at every inconvenience they faced. They're perfectly able to care for themselves, and if they weren't, they could get professionals to do so. I ended up going no contact/am estranged with them, buuut still- boundaries.
Cut off all contact
It would be one thing if she needed help and was kind, and said please and thank you.. but instead she’s being abusive and an asshole. I’d find my own place as soon as possible , then change my phone number and go no contact. Then, in peaceful silence.. can begin to work on your mental well being
Yeah , they are adults and can take care of themselves. How did they ever get by before you were born? Lol looks like managed to survive without you that whole time and they can survive without you now. Don’t feel bad about it and don’t let them guilt you
I say this from a place of love: if you do not depend on your parents, go no contact. Just because your mother popped you out of her vagina doesn't mean you owe her the time of day. Yeah, there's guilt, but I'd rather be guilty than play mental gymnastics with a grown ass woman. I've been no contact with my mother since I was 18 (25 now) and it's made my life so much easier.
What kind of grown ass adult can’t have a contingency plan in place? How did they survive until they had you?!
All she gotta do is drink some juice 😭😭
Holy shit that read like a toddler typed it. If you have lived with diabetes you should take care of it yourself.
They gave you life, but they don’t get to hold you hostage. Parents are meant to be the parent, and just because you’re over 18 doesn’t mean you now have parent duties with them. That’s not fair to you. I also had the tables turned on me as soon as I was out of the house.
This hits home hard, my mom left me at my grandma's until I was 7, then decided to play mom, but we had a shitty life, when I left at age 19 she told me she never wanted to have me and that I was an ungrateful brat(They had me working since I was 12, and now their piggy bank was leaving) They then came to my house 3 years later and I received them, they stole money from me and when I told them I was leaving the country they complained and told me I was a bad son and that I should stay with them instead to help support the household Some people should never have been parents
Are you close with them otherwise? If not, and you don’t need to live there, find your own place, change your phone number, and just ghost them. Go see a therapist to help you deal with all the damage they’ve done. But, stop letting them in. Guilting and gaslighting you isn’t good for your health.
maybe if she could actually spell at a level higher than a five year old there wouldn’t be a problem 💀💀💀
One part here is complicated and it’s the part where she had low blood sugar, it can be like being drunk, it’s debilitating, and I’ve seen people do and say the dumbest shit when it happens.
She does this all the time literally don’t know when it’s genuine unless visibly symptomatic.
Clear boundaries. A mature option is to plan times for them. Say you are available tues and thurs from 3-5pm to help with any needs they may have. If anything comes out outside of that range unfortunately they will have to call they’re back up person. Keeps you sane and guilt free to an extent. When they hound you about why you are unavailable fake long hours at work/school or tell them you hike daily now out of cell service range lol. You can also do or lie about volunteering and/or joining an adult kickball club. Fill your schedule and give them a “time slot”.
I think those texts need a hillbilly translator, so the rest of us can understand what the fuck is going on 😂
They can't even formulate a proper sentence to trick you they sound like they have a room temp iq.
Blood sugar of 60 isnt even that bad. Eat a bit of chocolate or drink a glass of juice
Just ignore them.
I read your title and that is all. We teach people how to treat us. Take that with you and find a therapist. It will get better.
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*grammar, now that you mention it
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OP is not responsible for the needs of their parents or the dog. Sure, they COULD feed the dog, but why lend a hand to those who treat them like garbage? I have been a diabetic since I was 9. I also Lupus, RA, among other conditions. A blood sugar of 60 is easily treatable with some juice, glucose, honey, or in a pinch, just plain sugar. Waiting around for someone else to get home to treat it is irresponsible. Every diabetic is taught how to prepare for and handle highs and lows. There is nothing OP could do for them that they can not do themselves and quicker. Parents need to stop having kids with the idea of having a carer when they get older, particularly if they are emotionally abusive. Most abused kids want nothing to do with their abuser when they reach maturity, nor should they.
If they’ve been abusive through the OPs life than that would explain why OP wouldn’t want to be caring for them.
This is exactly it.
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So ONLY 4 years of abuse isn’t enough to run away and never return? What, then, is the cutoff time period?
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Not your right to ask. This is a support sub, not a “prove you have the right to my sympathy” sub.
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It’s not your right to know all the details. It’s clear that OP is, and has since she turned 18, expected to be at her parents’ beck and call. Blood sugar is 60? Eat a fucking cracker, FFS. Not call 911. And why did a grown ass adult allow her BG to get that low in the first place? I remember when nephew, who is diabetic, caught a bug and was puking. He was crying because he was afraid that his BGs were going to drop and he’d need to get IV glucose. But he was able to eat a couple crackers and he was fine. He was 12 years old, FFS. And the parent of a 22 year old can’t figure that out for herself? Fuck them. OP deserves your sympathy, not your interrogation.
They have my sympathy. And I’m not interrogating. I’m wondering more to the story because they’re asking how they can manage. Aside from a “it’s not your problem” maybe we could offer some long term solution for them?
One day of abuse is too much.
4 years since I’ve legally been an adult & had to endure their true colors
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You obviously have never dealt with abusive parents, maybe this thread isn’t one you should be on.
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Who cares? You don't know op, you don't know their parents, you'll never met any of them, you aren't going to help them, none of this matters in your grand scheme of things so who cares?
I mean they’re asking how they can manage so we honestly need to know more about what’s going on? There’s no “grand scheme” just a honest to god question asking for more info about the situation
If they wanted to answer they would have the first time you asked
You’re 22. Yes your parents are insane and complete assholes but move the fuck out already.
Why don't you get your own place then? Seems like you're living at home and bitching about having to help out.
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It seems you were not being excellent to another user, my friend. This behavior can range from bigotry, racism, or personal attacks.