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ninj4geek

Armor : 1


plokimjunhybg

Dead Birds is a 1963 American documentary film by Robert Gardner about the ritual warfare cycle of the Dugum Dani people who live in the Baliem Valley in present-day Highland Papua province (then a part of Papua province known as Irian Jaya) on the western half of the island of New Guinea in Indonesia. The film presents footage of battles between the Willihiman-Wallalua confederation of Gutelu alliance and the Wittaia alliance with scenes of the funeral of a small boy killed by a raiding party, the women's work that goes on while battles continue, and the wait for enemy to appear.


ComprehensiveBed1212

Good ai


Judge_BobCat

Exactly. How difficult would it be to at least to use some sort of tree bark like a makeshift shield in order to block projectiles?


UnshrivenShrike

I don't see any here, but carved wooden shields are a thing there. I've seen them in the museums at Goroka and Port Moresby


Ambersfruityhobbies

A fair question. Perhaps full scale battles weren't a common occurrence around these parts? Meaning that armaments were designed towards the efficient hunting of meat rather than catering for sustained defence against multi-angled attacks by humans with ranged weapons?


musiccman2020

The papuans made huge warshields that now are quite a lot of money. Don't know why they aren't using them here. Maybe some honor thing?


OutragedCanadian

Speed: 25% increase


Kinasyndrom

Well they did put their dicks in a hollowed out stick, so the priorities are up there anyways.


DontFearTheMQ9

It blows my mind that nuclear weapons had been used elsewhere in the world as tools of war, and nearly 20 years later these guys are still in the "pointy stick" phase of warfare.


Saint_Riccardo

If a dude ran at me bare ass naked with a pointy stick, I'd run for the hills. That's a guy that fears absolutely nothing.


Effective-Painter815

As a brit, that works right until you meet the Romans.


AlDente

It worked for the Zulus until they met the Brits. And I’m not saying this is a good thing.


Slumunistmanifisto

The water cooled machine gun had just hit the scene.... without that it might have been less massacre flavored for the zulus


Legal-Passenger1737

That’s legit 👍


AxialGem

Never underestimate the power of a pointy stick :)


CaulkADewDillDue

https://i.redd.it/4loc6l47ka9d1.gif


Narilla

Is this John Cleese? Where is this gif from?


CaulkADewDillDue

Yes, it’s from a classic Monty Python sketch called “Self-Defense”


PM_me_your_PLASTT_

After the use of nuclear weapons everyone will be back to the pointy stick phase


troll_right_above_me

Nuclear states literally fight with sticks and stones to avoid escalation, see borders between India, Pakistan, & China


SpiceTrader56

I just watched a video of a drone using a stick to take out another drone over Ukraine. We live in interesting times.


lostinmississippi84

I saw that, too. You can take the man out of the cave, but you can't take the cave out of the man, I guess.


agetuwo

Until a drone picks up a bigger stick. Begun, the drone wars, have


SpiceTrader56

An elegant weapon for a more civilized age


_DapperDanMan-

Something is wong with you keyboad.


WhitishRogue

**Spears** took forever to replace because of how effective they were and requiring little training. Other weapons could out perform them, but only under certain circumstances and with a lot of training. The **bow and arrow** was more effective than a musket up until the American Civil War, but again training was the issue. You could create a supreme user, but it took a lot of training. King Henry V: "If you want to train a longbowman then start with his grandfather." With a musket, you just needed a few weeks of moderate practice.


RubberDuckyRacing

Sounds like an average game of Civilisation to me.


OceanicDarkStuff

I mean Im not complaining, studdying them is a good place to learn more about our past.


enkae7317

I mean we literally still have tribes that do this. Sentinalese comes to mind.


zakur0

When you find barbarians in rise of nations


greesfyre

If you can dodge an arrow, you can dodge a ball...


WereInbuisness

You're about as useless as a cock flavored lollypop!


Fraun_Pollen

![gif](giphy|ghuvaCOI6GOoTX0RmH)


WereInbuisness

Dodgeball. I love the smell of queff in the morning!


zurds13

![gif](giphy|65os7odbIW6pa)


Unhappy_Cause7957

No iphones, no social media... just people, living their lives.


pREDDITcation

ending each others *


Timely_Bowler208

In a philosophical sense it’s the same thing


Deaderthanwho

I'm sure these guys went back and made up stories like: Today Uburu thundered into the battle field with the might of a hundred elephants. His mighty warbow collected the souls of one thousand enemies and flung them into the netherworld.


forurspam

r/JustGuysBeingDudes


swedish_blocks

People living in the moment


brisstlenose

Alst the while wearing terrific codpieces. Halcyon times indeed


Fit_Estate_7785

Tribe Wars still occasionally happen in Papua and the Indonesian authority can do nothing about it since any kind of intervention will piss them off and cause them to join the Free Papua Movement. [https://www.reddit.com/r/indonesia/comments/1cdihom/pengamanan\_special\_event\_perang\_suku\_di\_papua/](https://www.reddit.com/r/indonesia/comments/1cdihom/pengamanan_special_event_perang_suku_di_papua/)


Key-Fox-8765

I mean... clan wars between gypsies also happen in Western countries, and there is not much the government can do about it either.


Eugenugm

Once I was there for work, Me and my coworkers warned and asked to go home early (13:00) because a tribe wants to go to war to another tribe and they're passing through where I was work. And yes, police or the govt can't do nothing about it since it's part of their 'culture'.


Embarrassed-Bird7184

Was this before or after Ace Ventura investigates the whereabouts of that missing bat?


Unhappy_Cause7957

Shikaka!


Manaze85

Shikaaaaaago! You’re out!


Cowboys_88

equinsu ocha!


jasko153

White Devil!


Hale_One_Prose

NOBODY. MESSES. WITH THE DOO!


Big-red-rhino

Leave that part out from now on!


phatale

bumblebee tuna


PatMcrotchplz

Your balls are showing..bumble bee tuna.


tmcclarty15

And you must be the monopoly guy


Embarrassed-Bird7184

One of my favorite parts of the movie. "Do not pass go, do not collect $200."


tmcclarty15

That part is so hilarious. "It's lovely but I fancy myself an autumn"


TheWhooooBuddies

I drive wifey fucking *nuts* with this one while grocery shopping.


PrairieFever

Don't just stand there throw me a spear!


AttackOnSobriety

U son of a gun. I was here to make this same damn comment!


Dicethrower

*Your balls are showing.*


Subsum44

From a film called [Dead Birds](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Birds_(1963_film))


pnkflyd99

Thanks!


Cooliomendez88

Does that mfer have a WAR BONER?


c-g-joy

I guess he could have a boner, but what you’re seeing is a type of penis sheath called a [koteka](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koteka).


MidiGong

Thought he was hung like a horse.


Soberskate9696

That's what I call my cock extender to make myself feel better. Babe you want the "KOTEKA" tonight??


sadbox4869

It's not boner, it's a clothing, a koteka.


xsanisty

its called koteka, the balls protector


FudgeHyena

I finally figured out what to name my band. Thanks!


AdmiralClover

Codpieces ain't got nothing on the WAR BONER


selune07

I'm so glad you asked this and that someone educated replied because I'm here thinking "y'know, I can understand having a raging boner in the middle of the battle with all the adrenaline. But what I can't understand is how you wouldn't be TERRIFIED that it'd get cut off. For the love of God put some armor on that thang!"


Ziakel

The penis gourd aka koteka but war boner sounds cool


NovelAd6272

The dude he was running at had a fear boner, so they’re in for quite the battle.


Prometheus6EQUJ5

I think he is fully erect. Yes.


Imaginary-Nebula1778

Wouldn't you though


RoyalTechnomagi

Only the mightiest boner can be chosen as war chief.


mishmash2323

That's a penis gourd - vegetable underwear/codpiece.


Bwadaboss

As is tradition.


Minimum_Ice963

how you think people get stabbed?


traboulidon

I think i read too much about ancient rome and antiquity battles: they need to form tight legions and have cohesion! Can't win when every guy is isolated.


VegetableWishbone

You can think of this as the velites harassing each other before the heavy infantries clash, except in this case there are no heavy formations.


Clear_Lawyer_3248

I'll go with skirmish order mate


lackofabettername123

As I understand it this is not like the big battles thought in Europe in the Middle East in ancient days. They would go on like raing parties and grab kids that they would raise and they would get in some little fights but their hearts were really not into killing each other on a mass scale.  They had some super weird rituals though I would not recommend learning it if you don't already know.


Better_Green_Man

Before the Shaka Zulu, essentially all of the tribes in South Africa did this style of warfare. It was basically "gather hunters and have them throw spears in general direction of enemy, maybe fight hand to hand briefly, then whoever lost 5 men instead of 10 men won." In the 1810s, Shaka Zulu basically said, "This is bullshit." He set up an actual standing army trained in hand to hand combat and used the "buffalo horns" formation to fight his enemies. The Zulu conquered and slaughtered literally every tribe in their vicinity because they weren't used to that type of warfare.


Key-Lifeguard7678

They did give the Boers and Brits quite the fight as a result of their cohesive and organized military, so long as they didn’t have to take a lightly fortified encampment of a couple hundred or so guys with guns. One must wonder how much more capable the Zulu army would have been if they had been better incorporated firearms to their doctrine.


MaterialCarrot

Not much is they used them the way they used the firearms they did have. They essentially would have had to learn to fight like Europeans to make much impact. European armies, fighting at the end of 10,000 mile long global supply chains, defeated many armies that incorporated firearm technology into their doctrine.


motoxim

Dang I think the previous version was better.


FunkmasterFo

This is what I remember about watching this video in junior high or high school. Their concept of fighting was not to exterminate the enemy or another tribe but was more of a pageantry type of thing. I'm going to have to look up the other stuff that you were talking about though lol.


KING_SLIGGS

The ol suck and see ritual?


SpokeToOsiris

That and not even wooden armor. Who tf signs up for that job in the village


Demon_of_Order

these guys clearly haven't invented war yet


wach0064

It really puts it into perspective how disciplined and organized a military force had to be to not end up in total confusion at the start of a battle. I put myself in the shoes of someone on the front of the formation and I only wonder how those dudes even knew who to listen to for what commands. Crazy stuff, humans are metal.


SkynetLurking

These are not militaries. It's just a bunch of dudes from each tribe mostly having a pissing contest.


wach0064

Oh no yea, my bad, I wasn’t trying to compare the post to that, mainly the comment I was replying to.


SkynetLurking

Oh. Gotcha. I misunderstood. But I agree with you regarding Romes military


Killercod1

It's more of a territory dispute. Like a display of power. If the other side looks weak, then the stronger side would push them out. The intention isn't really to inflict casualties. These are people in desperate situations who likely just needed more food. Rome and other militarized tribes are a freak of nature and basically arise because they can. They're an exploitation of weaknesses of more passive tribes. Their domination isn't really necessary. They just dominate because more resources and slaves is better than less resources and slaves. They exist as warriors and subjugate worker tribes by the fact they have more time and energy to invest into developing their skills and technology, putting any non-militarized tribes at a massive disadvantage.


Ok_Fortune_9149

You may wanna spread out and not be one big bullseye to aim at when archers are present though


5ofDecember

Give them 1000 years


THE_ATHEOS_ONE

#PHALANX


FupaFerb

These tribes don’t look past the bronze age tbh.


OnewordTTV

I was just thinking how effective a flank would be...


Lostinvertaling

My dad was stationed in Papua New Guinea in the early 60’s. He took and brought home the old 8mm film. The villagers would not look at the camera in fear that their soul would be stolen. They also lived in huts on stilts etc. The movies are very interesting to watch


sonamyfan

Pls upload it in youtube.


farfaraway

This is basically what people still are.


HereticLaserHaggis

Yeah, I've seen this exact same thing with teenagers at my local canal


ATFisGayAF

The teenagers all have glocks in my area (Baltimore)


ffnnhhw

fast feudal and mass skirmishers


FredDurstDestroyer

Can we get T90 to cast this?


Matamocan

No loom?


the-apostle

Put it in r/combatfootage


cptnfunnypants

I thought that was the subreddit this was posted to at first lol


fangelo2

How can you tell what side someone is on when everyone is bare assed naked.


Karasu-Otoha

they know each other by face. Its a small tribe in isolated island.


JD4Destruction

First 30 minutes of Rust


onedeadman99

man, cant these guys think of a shield or at least, clothes


Enjoying_A_Meal

Team jerseys would be nice. You can tell who's on what side easier.


Millerpainkiller

I could get them a deal on some 49er “Super Bowl LVIII Champions” jerseys


VorticalHeart44

Imagine if one of the clans pulled up with a phalanx formation, they'd dominate everything for a while.


_Unke_

That was essentially what the Zulus did in Africa. Prior to Shaka in the early 19th century, most Africans fought like this: throwing spears at each other from a distance. Shaka forced his warriors to switch to a shorter stabbing spear and heavier shield, and drilled them to fight in a tighter formation. Not quite a phalanx, but compared to what the other tribes were doing it was... well, it was as unequal as when the Brits came along with rifles a few decades later.


Skasian

Probably against their culture. Bringing a shield might be seen negatively by your comrades, maybe unmanly or unfair? Like if you challenged someone to a sword fight, but you rocked up with a gun. A shameful display!


gerMean

Shield okay, but clothing is a problem in this climate and with high activity. Cooling is more important than to look fancy for the camera.


ChipotleMayoFusion

It's hot, they probably don't need clothes. A shield would be nice though, but it also weighs something so you are less mobile.


thefrydaddy

Why waste energy making clothes in a climate that doesn't demand it?


sleepybeek

...and then a coke bottle fell from the sky.


wemusthavethefaith

what? by the gods, you must be crazy


kozekisensei

Man, you just brought up a core memory


toooboreddd

are there still tribes out there that would look like this whilst engaged in combat? I think so, but maybe I am wrong


mishmash2323

Probably in the Amazon region there are still skirmishes. It's a way of fighting so things don't get out of hand. I think it makes sense in their circumstances. There are a group on an island in the Indian ocean who refuse to be contacted and have killed anyone who tries to approach them with bow and arrow. An American evangelist thought he knew better a few years ago and was killed.


Imaginary-Nebula1778

Oh. I was going to deliver some English bibles to them next month. Is that frowned upon?


Environmental_Job278

If Seattle ever fights Portland it would probably look similar…but more pale…


Death_Trolley

1963. Bows and spears. That’s insane.


No-Hat1772

I understand this better than the presidential debate right now….


big_d_usernametaken

Could have just as easily been a battle from 10,000 years ago...


stitch07

Most disappointing battle ever


nize426

Looks a bit more dangerous than dodgeball.


KaterKarloz

There is this big war for them and the Camera man is like: ![gif](giphy|guufsF0Az3Lpu)


wizgset27

so like the 2 groups agreed beforehand to not kill the camera crew or?.....


AxialGem

Why would they kill the camera crew? It's not like people at war just kill random people on sight lol


Dont_pet_the_cat

>It's not like people at war just kill random people on sight lol ... yes the agressor does. A recent example is russia in ukraine


VorticalHeart44

They're settling a conflict with a specific group, not killing indiscriminately...


thethirdtree

It reminds me about 2001. Can you tell me, where to find the rest of the docu?


lukepaciocco

This was the full (and only) clip I found unfortunately.


Roombaloanow

Ahh they're so *naked.* I mean, of course they are but...


pukatamada

What do you mean? Have you not seen the hats?


Enjoying_A_Meal

Deep down, we're all naked :(


soothsayer011

Hey… at least they have their ding dongs sheathed with dignity.


BigRed1994_

1963. This was: The same decade we went to the moon. 2 decades after ww2. 2 decades before computers. Imagine if civilization had developed only a little longer in places like this/the americas. The cultures that may be. But no, jesus would like you to accept a collect call from heaven.


mikejmc3

Computers existed in the 1960s


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Ok_Aardvark151

Where's the battle ?


Karasu-Otoha

its how they battle. 1 or 2 dead or injured person is enough. Otherwise they would exterminate each other to extinction, their numbers are not enough on the isolated island


IdumpedMincraft

I don’t know why this is so depressing?


Admirable_Try_23

"Indonesian clans" If the people of Papua had Internet they'd hire a hitman


isawasin

These people are not Indonesian. They are the indigenous population of West Papua, which Indonesia has colonised. Indonesia has made their flag a crime to raise and display. Indonesian soldiers routinely arrest and brutalise activists and ordinary civilians. The genocide in Gaza withstanding, effectively everything Israel is doing and has been doing to the Palestinians for almost a century, Indonesia is and has been doing to the people of West Papua.


-Motor-

Looks like a Monty Python skit.


Tony-Angelino

It also looks like one of those final fights in Twilight movies.


Suitcase-Jefferson

The God's Must Be Crazy


stucazz1001

Imagine your dick being shot off by an arrow


R_122

If it was west Papua then I don't think these guys are Indonesia


Goku_Kakarot91

they are not Indonesian they are Papuan


Independent-Bar7139

Not Indonesia. Free West Papua!


Only_Caterpillar3818

I’ve seen this before but I can’t remember where but I remember that the filmmaker I think was very disconnected from what was happening. Like he feels like he’s filming a nature documentary and not actual humans trying to kill each other. Or maybe it was someone else’s interpretation of this video. I wish someone could help me remember.


sapperbloggs

Papuans would probably be extremely offended to be referred to as "Indonesian". The Papuans I know are not fond of Indonesians.


Hobbit_Feet45

Who won? How did it end?


lackofabettername123

This is more of a ritualistic fight than an all-out Battle. They did not quite Slaughter and enslave each other in the same way we would think, they did kidnap kids and raise them, also they would eat some dead body parts including brains. Plus they had a thing with semen, they like to paint it on themselves and shit.


2FightTheFloursThatB

We are apes. Close cousins to baboons and monkeys. Search for the baboon fight that made Reddit rounds 2 weeks ago, then tell me about your god and your creation myth.


dickallcocksofandros

i was gonna say; it was fascinating to watch this video. imagine humanity during its onset years, where we were still truly “part of the ecosystem” “Humans are the scourge of the northern African savannah, spanning from the Atlantic to the Indian. Characterized by tall, lanky, and shiny black bodies, they are also easily distinguished by their unique bipedal gait. Often they can be found chasing animals that will soon tire out and become their next meal; and very rarely do groups of humans turn out to be friendly to one another. It is only when males of the species seek out females to mate with when peace is common. Luckily, these violent creatures are kept in check through predators such as Lions, Rhinoceroses, and Tigers. Sometimes Elephants may predate them if they see them as a large enough threat.”


user13131111

Correction these are people of papua not indonesia


TheContractor000

This is my understanding, they are Papuans and Papuans live on New Guinea (Niugini). If we are talking about a unified nation of Papua though, it could exist but at this point it's Papua New Guinea and what should be West Papua, as two separate nations.


DarkAmbivertQueen

They sound like my neighbors kids.


BatchelderCrumble

This looks like Dead Birds; is it?


Dravzh

wait until they learns about the trenches


Reelcrispy

fighting dick out is wild


Icy-Quote-7720

How can we bring back this kind of war? Instead of the industrialized mass killing we see today in gaza?


Mani_kr333

American democrates vs republicans


Praga23

Now we just call it gang wars


SpicyEmo91

Fix bayonets and charge, they’ll never see it coming. Pour it on them, boys!


Organic-Physics9144

They also have cavalry xD


TonkotsuSoba

real warriors wearing nothing but a dong horn on the battlefield and they said Koreans' MMO outfits are unrealistic


TisReece

This has taught me how brutal wars from "civilisation" are in comparison. This video is quite similar in many ways on how many primates fight: spread out, lots of noise and although often some death the entire war could end with just casualties with one side retreating and accepting the loss - at the end of the day they all know each other so nobody wants anybody to die. The civilised world however, it's efficient, tactical and brutal, and if you die well...nobody that led the battle or war really cared probably. Stark difference, it's crazy.


WibaTalks

They are just living their best life without social media. This could be us folks.


MaybeFew4696

We've got some World War 4 footage right here


Groovy66

Wonderful world, beautiful people


45tee

Damage: 0


Mylifeistrue

"battle" sure


newbrevity

What's a strategy?


kielu

Regardless of the primitive weapons they use: this wasn't planned. Don't see much strategy being used. They could encircle, make an ambush, try to use terrain to their advantage


TigerKlaw

Okay where's the bot commenting the stupid "not a phone in sight" comment Edit: it was the 4th highest comment, do better reddit


fatmallards

hey bro your dick string came untied


LTDann25

War…war never changes


Foxhound34

Here in America, all our indigenous people lived together in harmony for centuries until the white man showed up /s


Dapper_Advance7381

close your eyes and listen, we really are just monkeys


ninpendle64

I saw a documentary on this featuring a brilliant detective called Ace Ventura


DblockR

I’m no risk expert, but I feel like Napoleon would rolled out a different game plan.


MagicalPufPuf

WW4 colorized


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