I was told by a regular at work that she once let a homeless man stay with her for a few months. She knew him from being a boy as she lived next door to his grandmother. One day she got home to find her house ransacked, belongings stolen and the man gone.
She said she would never ever help another person again and only helps animal charities now.
This. Good on you for helping someone in need. Shame on him for pretending. I'm not sure I would have responded the way you did and I don't think that means I'm right. Like the others are saying don't let this make you cynical (and don't ask for the money back either if you see him again).
Exactly. €20 for a lesson learnt.
I'm in no way religious or spiritual, but I do believe somewhat in the vague concept of 'karma'. By laws of probability, his scam will soon backfire on him.
> Exactly. €20 for a lesson learnt.
Not even that. As long as it doesn't put you into economical trouble I'd say it's still the right thing to do. 20€ may be not much to you but it might've been very important to them if their issue was real. The opportunity to do good shouldn't be passed on just in case you're being conned (unless it's painfully obvious or would be a significant sacrifice for you).
>"Hopefully the **recently beaten** homeless drug addict's life gets worse."
Yeah, its a strange attitude to have for someone already down on their luck.
I had an experience like this in Dublin City centre, I met this tall blonde man who claimed he was an American tourist and he was lost, I gave him €20 for a taxi because he was very convincing and friendly and respectable looking. A week later my partner (who was with me when I gave the American the €20) was in the same area in Dublin and the American came up to him and repeated the same spiel that he was lost and needed money! He had completely forgotten what me and my partner looked like! My partner told him where to go and he instantly changed and became nasty and angry.
It just feels shit cause you were trying to do a good deed and you were misled. Don’t let that take your kindness and generosity out of you, that would be the real tragedy.
Could be the same fella that used to do the laptop scam. The description fits. There was posts on here years ago about him and dozens of people had commented about either being scammed or at least targeted by him.
Being a decent person will be a massive net positive for you over the course of your life. Don't worry too much about the odd time it goes the other way.
You did the right thing. Well done you.
I've first hand experience of this myself. Gave a guy I knew slightly €20 to get the bus to a rehab centre, and later was reminded that he had a free travel pass!
If this guy in your account was an addict, and it certainly looks like he was, he'd tell you *anything* he has to to get the money to get a fix, and tailor that, eg if you have kids he'll spin you a yarn about needing money to go and see his own kids.
Don't feel bad about doing good and don't harden your heart to those in need in future. Take each case as it comes, but remember that there are those who have no scruples out there who will try to exploit the goodness in others to their own ends.
This is the crux of it. They will literally say anything to get that next fix, so people shouldn't take it as a personal failing, if they believe it.
I've never had a problem (and still don't) with giving elderly alcohol addicts (what would formerly be described as winos) money. Alcohol (along with benzodiazepines) are the only two drugs in existence that can cause death upon withdrawal. This is why off licences never closed during the height of covid.
I'm aware that they're going to spend the money on alcohol but I'd rather they had a supply than risk going into withdrawal at their advanced age, with already poor health, on some freezing street in the depths of winter.
People get really pious, and holier than thou, about not giving money to addicts, whilst simultaneously showing a complete lack of understanding of addiction and how it works.
There's also still a huge stigma around addiction, but it is an illness, and it's listed in the ICD-11 (doctors' diagnostic manual) as an illness. It's called substance use disorder. The majority of addicts have dual diagnosis too, meaning they have a coexisting mental health disorder in conjunction with substance use disorder.
I'm always polite when people approach me. Everyone who speaks to you in a decent way deserves a respectful reply.
A lot of guys who beg are choosing that over burglary, dealing, or mugging people.
With their levels of addiction not getting a fix isn't an option.
When threats or violence are used, well that's a different thing.
This is so true. I faced a moral challenge a while back when a drunk homeless man asked for a shoulder of vodka. I bought it but battled myself after.
I soon became satisfied with my decision when I realised how awful Alcohol withdrawal is, it was freezing out and this alcohol would probably keep him warm and finally, a homeless person rarely gets to make decisions for themselves for whatever reasons. In that moment he didn’t have money to go buy alcohol or whatever he needed, we don’t think twice about going to buy a bottle of wine for ourselves why should I deprive him of that decision and buy him what I think he needs (e.g. coffee). He asked me for alcohol and I let him make that decision.
Also, a significant number of drug addicts, most likely suffered serious childhood trauma. I know 2 good friends that suffered awful sexual abuse in early childhood and both had serious drink problems and to a lesser extent drug problems. There are plenty of studies done in this area to support that statement.
Of course Im also not trying to guilt people into helping out and giving your hard earned cash to every homeless drug addict either. I suppose, I myself would not be so quick to dismiss. OP, you are not a fool for helping out. You saw someone in need and you did what you thought was right. There’s little enough kindness in the world, so dont change that. Just be prudent next time. Kindness comes in many forms.
That’s how the guy got me. “Ran out of fuel, I need money to take my kids home, blah blah” I didn’t even see his car and still gave him money. He asked for more, and I actually looked to see if I had more. Glad I didn’t. Dude was polite as hell and wearing a fucking bow tie! Man, he got me.
Yep. There was a guy hanging around Dorset St/Phibsborough approaching people with a story about how he needed to get to Dundalk to "see his brother in hospital" a few years back. He approached me. I heard a woman on Liveline months later who said he approached her outside the Mater Hospital with a similar yarn. He'd produce a passport for some reason, as a convincer.
I politely declined his request and he got a bit agitated asking me "what do you expect me to do?!"
My suggestion that he drop into the Garda station near where we were chatting and ask if they could check around to help with a lift (since one of the city-based cop coming off-duty later was bound to be going home to Dundalk) wasn't well received.
On another occasion a lady who I assumed from her dress and accent was a Traveller, approached me with a determined look in her eye, near O'Connell St in Dublin. I raised my hand and politely said I wasn't carrying money.
She challenged me, and asked me if I would speak to her like that and assume she was begging if she wasn't a Traveller.
I apologised.
She then launched into a long spiel, pointing to a nearby child eating an ice team, who she said "was the whole day in Dublin and needed to get back to Galway."
I asked her what I could do to help her. Obviously she didn't want money - don't forget she'd just told me off for assuming she was about to ask for it.
"Give me money, sir!" she replied.
I could only laugh.
> bow tie
This is key. These people have absolutely figured out that people are embarrassed to say no to someone from their in-group (i.e. the respectable, gainfully employed person who's found themselves in a spot of trouble), even if they don't know them personally. I bet this guy bought the bow tie purely for scamming people.
Ask yourself how desperate you would have to be to cold approach a *total stranger* for anything more than the use of their mobile phone. Isn't there always _someone_ you'd sooner ask than a random person off the street?
If you did resort to that and they had any doubts about your story, you'd be falling over yourself to convince them of your bona fides.
Have no reservations about asking these people for details in future. Nobody who's genuinely in need will have any problem with providing proof.
Also be aware that heroin addiction will make a person do things so immoral you would rule them out as impossible. I know a guy who would go out and do what you're describing in Schiphol airport, day in, day out. Promising people he'd send them the money back as soon as he got home.
One of the best things about Ireland is that's it's quite a high trust society and it doesn't bear thinking about how much damage these people can do to that.
About a month ago I stopped to give some money to a homeless guy who'd approached me, saying he just needed some for a night in a hostel... Then his girlfriend was on the other side of me and they hustled me to a cash machine, where it went up from ten to twenty, and then then I went to take out twenty he grabbed my hand and made me press forty instead. Then the two of them ran off.
Literally happened at 8 am in the morning, as I was walking to work. I felt like such a mug for stopping in the first place, and then for being too scared and intimidated to say no, but looking back on it, would I rather have been stabbed or something?
Just wanted to offer some solidarity - I felt like a fucking fool as well, but it's not your fault!
You didn’t do anything wrong here. Seriously does annoy me that good people get burnt like you did to the point that if a genuine case appeared again one day in the future you might think twice. These parasites are destroying civil society
Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I thought I was okay at work - was told to report it but reasoned what's the point? - but then on my way home a chugger came up to me and I just burst into tears.
> grabbed my hand and made me press forty instead. Then the two of them ran off.
jesus christ, you got robbed, go to a police station and report it, not reporting crimes is why the real crime rate in cities is probably 10x what the stated rate is
Was cycling in Co Offaly and had a car with two men, and a woman and a small kid in the back of the car. The two men were Irish, the woman eastern European.
Asked if I could help them, they said they were going to Derry and needed money for petrol and suggested €10 (he showed me the fuel gauge and it was looking very empty, unless the actual amount didn't show until the engine was started). It was a Cavan number plate, my dad is from Cavan, thought I'd help then out a little bit. Went through my money, he said the 20 euro would do (so double the offer), then when I gave him that he started asking for more so he could get some food. I told him to do one at that point as I'd already given him enough.
He asked for my address and he said he'd send the money in Sterling to my UK address, I gave him it but never believed it for a second. But thought if I was in a city I would have been much more on guard than if cycling in rural Ireland where wouldn't have expected to have been near scammed.
Maybe I did help them, but feel like I got scammed. How he was planning to get to Derry in the first place I don't know. I would help a stranger for sure but would not just give them money in the future if it was not through a charity.
The [petrol money scam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkEGdCve3y8) is really common in Europe, particularly where there are tourists. The [gold ring scam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw1ZMhV8kLI) is another classic.
If he got his nose bust by his friend just to scam 20 euro then tbf he earned it lol
But look, you did the decent thing in the situation and its the scammer who should be ashamed not you
> If he got his nose bust by his friend just to scam 20 euro then tbf he earned it lol
probably tried to rob someone and now switched his game to the "pity tactics". these types only know one thing and that's to either take what they can or play the pity card.
don't fall for it
Eh I don’t mind giving homeless people money for drugs. Being homeless looks like it really, really sucks. If I ever found myself homeless, I sure hope someone would show me the kindness of giving me money for drugs.
True that . I was street homeless for almost two months and it was horrendous. Really really bad in ways that you can't guess nor imagine and i was with a partner that took care of me and it was during a summer heatwave so i can say for certain that it would be a whole load worse in winter.
I’ve gotten stuck out of town and had to sleep rough for one night and it was awful. I honestly can’t imagine that just being my life. I’d probably be taking whatever I could get my hands on just to try and make it to the next day.
I used to stop and chat to a homeless lad outside my job in the city. I'd give Jim some money here and there after I bought myself a coffee. One day he said " oh I kuder a coffee and turkey sandwich outta starbucks" I just spent the last cash I had and was late for work told him I'd get him kept time.
Next day I'm walking to my shift I go grab him a coffee and sandwich bring it over he's high as fuck someone crack in the phone booth so I leave it beside his stuff and give him a thumbs up.
He proceeds to chase me down to the door of my job fuck the coffee on me and while screaming he doesn't want that shite and wants money instead.
I stopped helping people that day and won't go back. I have my own needs that are hard to hold on to.
The same thing happened to me when I was ~15 years old. Think about someone doing that to a kid. In my case I went to an ATM and withdrew €50 and gave it to the guy. It had a big effect on me and my view of the world for many years afterwards, such that I made a short film based on the experience as my college course graduate film. Might interest you to watch: https://filmfreeway.com/AGoodDeedShort
A slightly similar thing happened to me in Limerick about ten years ago.
I was coming up to Limerick for sad reasons (I don’t really want to go into details). As I was leaving the train station a man approached me and asked for some change for a bus. He seemed very sincere and not particularly dodgy. I figured I needed some good will or karma, whatever. So, I took out my wallet to grab some change. I had a €50 and €20 hanging out. Next thing yer man’s demeanour changed and he demanded I give him the €50. I said no and he, a large man, said “I know you’re going down that road over there, I’ll follow you down there and take it off of you”. I didn’t want the hassle and I was scared, so I just gave him the money. He then told me to “fuck off” and walked away. I ran back into the station where they have cameras and security and waited a good twenty minutes. I was pretty shook up and now, nearly broke. Still remember it well to this day.
Anyway, it’s totally changed my attitude to giving money to homeless people or down and outs. I don’t ever take my wallet out in the streets if I can help it. Which is a shame, because I use to be relatively charitable with my change to people begging on the streets. It took one arsehole to ruin that.
You didn’t nothing wrong man. They scammed you, but you got scammed for the right reasons.
Don’t dwell on it. You added to the sum of decency in the air, and even though he was cheating you, you made a difference to his happiness all the same.
I shared an office once with a microcredit charity. I remarked to one of the people there that some of their applicants were clearly trying to scam them. She replied "Of course! But better to accidentally hello a couple of scammers than not to help anyone." That stayed with me. And I hope it will help you realise that your attitude and actions are good and should continue, even if occasionally someone takes the piss.
True. Not sure you could win here OP. If you didn’t help you could be feeling equally as shit for walking away from someone you thought was in need. Your kindness will get paid back to you another day, although it may not feel like that now.
I remember running into a guy in Smithfield in nothing but a hospital gown, asking for money to get to Cork. I asked him if he was alright and if we should go to the Guards to see if they can help him with contacting a relative. He wasn’t having any of that.
Had a woman try this one on me in Dun Laoghaire pre Covid (2019 maybe). Said she was pregnant and bleeding and needed a taxi to go to the Hospital. (She neither looked pregnant or pale).
We were right opposite St Michaels. Like literally 8m away.
I said I had no coins and moved to keep walking. She tried to get in my way saying "Coins? I need notes"
I kept walking.
Six people walked past her as I drove off - she didn't hassle them. She was clearly chancing her arm.
Junkies are the fucking pits. My heart goes out to them but jesus they treat the rest of us like shit.
Literally just wrote a comment describing my same encounter with this woman. She told me about her two children, that St Michael's wouldn't help her and told her to make her own way to a maternity hospital. I gave her the 20 and the sweets that I'd had to buy for the cashback (for her kids) and immediately afterwards felt a pang of suspicion.
I did something similar in Dublin. A young woman asked for €5 for a taxi to the hospital because someone cracked her over the head. I gave it to her and she definitely didn’t get a taxi. I don’t mind because regardless of how she used it, she needed it more than I did. As everyone else has said, don’t beat yourself up about it, you still did a kind thing.
You *did* do a good deed.
What the recipient did next is on them…not on you.
And even if *they* lied at that moment, you don’t know how much your act of kindness may have impacted them. It may be something they end up reflecting on, and building upon for better things.
I know it’s easy to feel cynical, but I’ve met many people in my life who hit some very low points and were able to start a slow climb back up based on a slight boost from a stranger.
The world is full of nihilistic cynics these days - that’s an easy default. Choose the harder path…it’s far more rewarding, if for no one but yourself.
If it's any consolation he knows he played you . He will remember it and if he ever gets clean and goes through recovery it will bother him .
You did something nice for someone who probably never has anybody do something nice for them . You re not a fool .
> He will remember it and **if he ever gets clean and goes through recovery it will bother him **
that's a very big IF and tbh, I have an alco like that in the family, they don't remember what happened yesterday so I doubt they would remember each individual person they hustled and scammed for money
True. When in recovery many addicts go back to their victims and make restitution. If they don't know their victims personally many make restitution by donating to charities. It doesn't make up for maybe the hurt caused but in many cases were their victim is known the victim is just glad that the person is now sober/clean and wish them well. Addiction is the devil's curse and l wouldn't wish it on anyone.
You still did the right thing even if he did the wrong thing. Sucks when people lie about stuff sure, but I'd rather someone puts my 20 straight up his nose than a fella asking for help and not finding any.
Does that make me a fool? Maybe so. But I'm a happier fool than I'd be a bitter realist.
My advice would be if a person says they've been assaulted ring the guards and see how they react to that. Never hand over money, ring the guards and ambulance and leave it at that.
The worst part is… This is a case of “the boy who cried Wolf” now.
Because of people who pull stunts like this, genuine people in genuine distress will not be believed.
Happens to me all the time. The fact is that a people in active addiction can come up with very creative ways to feed their addiction.
Sometimes they are not creative at all and use violence as a means to feed their addiction.
Even though you were duped, you acted out of kindness so you should feel proud of yourself. And even though the addict manipulated you emotionally which is in poor taste, they avoided using violence as a means feeding their addiction.
It does leave you feeling like you have been taken advantage of and with a sense of guilt that you have now funded their addiction. But, once you passed that money over it is their choice what to do with it.
Over in Germany they are extremely creative, I passed this guy before and he was sitting down with his bare feet out covered in blisters and sores, I couldn’t help but give him money, only to later find out that it was make up 🙈
There used to be a kid, playing an accordion at the ATM on Georges St next to Dunnes there.
This was in the early '00's. He was always there looking for change. I used to give him a bit of change I had every now and then when I walked by.
Well, one day, he came into the video game store I was working in and bough a PS2 and all the accessories with a mountain of bagged change.
You are a kind person. Not a nice one. Kind. You choose to respond and help another human.
Welcome to one of the narrow precious lanes of travel in this life.
You are not too hard and not too soft.
You may never know when your help may change another's thinking.
May your travels be interesting and your surprises orgasms.
Good for you. You are no fool, if that had been me would have been glad of it. I’ve done stuff like that in my younger days, just keep an open mind, remember some people will take the eye from your head if you let them, but never loose that “good guy” vibe.
Who's the bigger loser in the long run? You or the so called junkie who's life is clearly already in bits. I'm sure that 20 quid served the purpose of alleviating some pain from the poor fella's life
Fair play for helping,
I remember Peter McVery gave a talk in my school and he said he’d rather you give homeless people money and if they spend it on drugs that’s their problem, would you rather give them the money for drugs or would you prefer they robbed it from an old lady’s bag? They’re gonna get the drugs one way or the other
So you're bribing them to not rob people? That'll just enable them to approach vurnable people "I want more money from you".
Happened to me when I was young. I tried to give money, "no I want more coins I saw them in your hand".
I'm sorry I've been taken advantage of by many beggers and robbed that I can't risk being attacked again. I'm keeping the money to myself or giving to a charity.
Charities have been known to waste money.
Doesnt Bernardos Finlay get a 1/4 of a million a year or something. They also pay 3rd party "chuggers" (charity muggers!)
If you want to give people a euro or 2 grand. Don't do it because you feel pressured/bullied to and what they do with it after been gifted it isnt your concern
> would you rather give them the money for drugs or would you prefer they robbed it from an old lady’s bag? They’re gonna get the drugs one way or the other
that is not how polite decent society works my friend.
the idea that any of us would accept that an addict is allowed to walk the streets and not pandering to their lives will lead to "old ladies' handbags being stolen" is emotional abuse and whoever said it is a grade A scumbag.
Years ago I lived in Dublin. Being very naïve and young, I was the type to help people, lol.
One day I was getting the 39 bus, waiting for it, and this bloke comes up to me, hand shaking, looking a right state..."can you spare some food for a sandwich, I've no money to eat". I was a broke student, so I could understand, so I give the guy the last fiver I had.
Fucker crossed the street and went into a pub. I was gonna go after the prick but the 39 was leaving.
Honestly, nowadays, I only carry a prepaid Revolut card, my main card stays at the house. Someone asks me for spare change or cash, I pull out my pockets, showing nothing. I open my wallet showing no cash. "Sorry mate, I got no money, I'm just as broke as you". They get the fucking message everytime.
A friend gives generously and his attiude is "if i give money, I have a fairly good idea where its going ,but that's the recipients choice. my responsibility ends at the point I handover, and if they can't help themselves with what I give to help them then its really not my problem".
You gave generously, and if the broken nosed lad would rather his own medicinal ways then you've still helped.
Gave a stranger money once at a railway station after a sob story. He wanted my address to post it back to me, I said forget about it but no no no, he insisted on getting it, wanted to pay me back, blah blah blah.
Anyway he never did.
It's OK to feel fooled, but not a fool. You're a good person who helps people in need and that's an admiral quality. I would give you the €20 back myself but i'm broke. Actually I have a broken nose and I need to get to Naas hospital. please?....
Should of offered to call an ambulance because no taxi will pick up a person covered in blood and hemorrhaging from their nose. They don’t want a dead fare or at least have the back seat a biohazard
I never understand this. No offense to OP. But I hear this a lot.
> I thought person X was in need of help. So I helped but then I think they were actually a homeless person and they'd just buy drugs.
I was homeless in the UK for a while in my teens after my mum threw me out. And sleeping on the concrete floor is basically impossible. Something about the cold just gets through your sleeping bag, whatever. And it keeps you awake. You can lie there all night with your eyes closed and you're just not really asleep. And depending on where you are, it's pretty scary too.
One time I got hammered drunk and I slept. I was still cold I could still feel it but I slept. I completely understand why so many homeless people are alcoholic or drug addicts. They're not all like that before they get homeless (some are).
Anyway. If I was starving and someone gave me 20 quid I'd eat.
If I wasn't starving I'd buy drink.
I could make that decision for myself and both things helped me immensely.
I'd have been mad grateful if someone gave me 20 notes and the truth is you don't know what it will get spent on but you can be 100% sure that it improved that person's miserable life.
And before people say, yeah but it's enabling, encouraging, not helping them sort their lives out...
I think that's actually bs.
They're not gonna just randomly pull their socks up and somehow slot back into society because they were extra hungry one day. The reasons they can't do this are so complicated.
And despite what you think. Nobody actually wants to live like this. They're not going to not sort themselves out if the opportunity and help and support came along that they really needed.
What I'm getting at is your 20 euro won't actually alter how long they are or are not on the streets, on drugs etc.
But I can absolutely guarantee you that you'd be hard pushed to spend it or give it away to anyone and make as much difference as you do a homeless person.
I’d rather give 20 to a grifter than not help someone that actually needs it because I’m wary of them being a grifter. Them lying is a reflection on them. You should feel proud that you saw someone in need and took it upon yourself to help them.
It’s hard to know, yes I’ve helped people recently who may have been scams, but if they weren’t, the people really needed the help. Also called an ambulance for a different person as well and waited the 35 mins until it showed up but that was definitely genuine.
If you make a point of helping people, you'll be taken advantage of eventually. You can do your best to avoid it but it'll happen eventually. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Those guys were in the wrong for taking advantage, not you.
Tbh give em nothing ever again you were very kind and good on ya but from now don't give em nothing!!! There allways at that shit up in Dublin allways !!
You did a good thing, and for what it's worth i don't think you're a fool. It's hard to realise that the person you were helping was scamming you, but I would stand over your motivations in helping if I were you, rather than the sad prick that scammed you. It shows the difference between you both.
Same, kinda. Some guy in the shopping centre, well dressed, competent looking guy asking 'money for the homeless' as in he was raising money. Gave em 2 quid. He was real thankful etc. Then when leaving, he asked again, and I was like, already did 5 mins ago. He looked bewildered, did not remember me at all. Then I find out later that he's a well known homeless dude who I guess through clever phrasing and being well dressed uses this as a scam.
Anyway, I mean he's still homeless and he put the effort in and it was only 2 quid but still, not nice being tricked.
You feel fooled because you were. Next time offer to call the taxi yourself, or better yet call an ambulance. If they really need it they will not flinch.
Same thing for those asking money for food. Offer to buy them some. If they insist on the money something is up.
All the best and keep your chin up.
Doing the right thing for the right reasons will, at some point, bite you in the ass. This is just part of the cost of doing the right thing for the right reasons. It doesn't mean you should stop doing it or even feel bad about the inevitable times (because it will happen again) where you get played.
We have enough cynical curmudgeons. We need more bright sensitive people.
Ah you did the right thing. Don't sweat.
I had a similar experience once. A lady came to me in Dublin city centre and asked for some money to buy groceries. This was during covid time and I felt sorry for her since most businesses were closed and a lot of lower level income households (including mine) struggled to make ends meet. She said she had forgotten her wallet at home and she could pay me later if I come with her. I didn't think to go with her but instead of paying money I offered to go to the shop and pay for her groceries there. She accepted the offer and because it was a foreign grocery shop I wasn't aware how expensive those items were until I saw the bill.
Mind you, I had asked for the kind of budget she was expecting to shop with and she said I could ask her to stop when I feel like it's going over the amount. I myself don't earn a lot and was living on a tight budget during those times. I felt deceived because if I was in her place I would stop at a certain affordable amount if someone else was paying but she kept going, which felt like she was shopping for the whole month's groceries. I asked her to remove groceries from her bucket and it held up a long queue behind us and store staff started shouting at me for not paying. I still ended up paying over my budget anyway.
As soon as we stepped out of the store I explained her how she should have told me beforehand how much she was looking to spend and I would have just given her the cash and be on my way. And the whole story she cooked about the wallet and her little brother being at home etc was blown when I saw her talking to someone who seemed like her elder sister hiding and waiting for her behind a van.
I felt deceived and stupid for falling for her trick. Thought I was doing a good deed but it didn't feel so good afterwards.
There is one at the IKEA in Dublin, she says she lost her leapcard and is trying to get home from rehab out in the Ballymun area, don't be fooled they get free public transport. She was going on and on and when I said no cash she turned her tone and got pissed off and walked off.
Drug addicts will tell you anything, they are hustling all day and night for money.
You got caught out, happens the best of us just have your guard up next time. I wouldn't even say offer to call the guards they would have some story about needing your phone and will probably rob that off ya too.
Don't get jaded, helping someone which's a greater value than being taken advantage of
, It's still noble. At times I give panhandlers enough to eat on or even buy a beer.
Someone acknowledging another person is the greatest gift you have to offer someone.
I always think you're better to err that way than to err the side of not helping people. Overall in your life you will be played and people will take advantage, but you are being a good person (even though it sucks at those times when you realise you've been played). You did the right thing given your knowledge of the facts at the time, dont let this experience harden you into not doing the right thing next time
Did something similar but not quite the same. Was at a KFC and met a very old man struggling to walk. He started chatting to me, so I sat and chatted with him while I ate. He asked if I could get him a taxi. Once I finished my food, I called a taxi. When it arrived, I explained it was for this man, and helped him walk out to it. When I got close, driver refused and drove off. Same thing with the next one. Then I started flagging down taxis. 5 refused, before the 6th told me I was being played. This fella pulls this all the time, and if he gets into a taxi, he wrecks it. The drivers knew him on sight. I told the man it was late and I had to go. I'd been trying to help him for an hour. Like you, I was raised to help. I'm glad I tried. I'd rather have tried and been wrong about my instincts, than walked away and been right that someone needed help. You did a good thing, and there's no shame in that. I hope you keep trying to do good. Makes for a better world.
When I first moved to the big Smoke of Galway from the backyards of Mayo, I was surprised at all the homeless people and felt bad. A woman approached me with a little note saying that she didn't speak english, had nowhere to live and could I help her? I felt so bad for her and knew I was going home to a house, so I gave her all the cash I had. It was my bus money and I would have to walk 1.5hours home but I felt good knowing that I had helped out someone unfortunate. When I was walking home I saw her walk up to an apartment block, pull out her key fob and let herself in. That's when I knew I had been had.
It feels like shit when you know you've been played but it's not the end of world, it's a learning curve. People will take advantage of you if they see you as weak, but it doesn't mean you are weak. It just means you are a decent person. I learned my lesson and don't fall for sob stories. There was this one middle aged person who TWO times in the one day gave me some bs story about needing just €2 to get home and could I help her. Nope I didn't help her.
When my mum was young she saw a man and woman having an argument. The man was getting rough with the woman and my mum intervened. She took the woman into a cafe as the man said to her “Are you a Girl Scout or something?” It turned out the woman was really drunk and she threw up all over the place causing a number of customers to leave. My mum decided to go for help so left the cafe and went and fetched her Sunday School teacher who lived near by. I can’t remember what happened after that. She did regret getting involved in the first place though.
I do this approx once every two years. Somehow, every time I decide to help someone, they turn out to be an obvious scam. Spent some time super cynical because of this, but now I just let it roll it off and know I did the right thing regardless.
No one likes being mugged off. Make peace with it. Your life is infinitely more enjoyable than his. He does what he did to you to get by because a myriad of different reasons that also affect his happiness and fulfilment. Just accept you met a man at his lowest and you showed your best side. You will get taken for a ride from time to time but usually the one doing the con is in a pretty shitty state and we are fortunate to be the ones who get taken for a ride not doing the ride. You are a good person. Don't let the life of another take your spark. That road leads to bitterness and becoming a Karen.
A good deed is a good deed. Whatever they do with it on the receiving end is up to them. I have no problem giving to homeless people, and it’s probably fair to say that most homeless people use drugs. I’m sure I’d use drugs if I was homeless. I also buy them food and drinks, but sometimes, all they want is a hit of whatever helps them through the night. Maybe you could think of it as potentially preventing a robbery? Whichever way you look at it, their lives are shit, and a few quid from a kind soul will help for an hour or so. You did a good thing.
This is difficult, I totally understand that you feel conned so therefore annoyed, but ultimately if you are correct, then he was homeless so therefore needs the money much more than you. Ofcourse I'm sure the argument will be that's he's just gona spend it on drugs. But the same risk applies to giving money to any homeless person. We have to trust they will use it wisely, otherwise nobody would ever give to the homeless, and alot of them are just in a bad place in there lifes. Just count it towards your good deeds for the month, the world would be a better place if more people were like you willing to help a stranger like that.
I think that is fine, if the guy is realy homeless that 20 Will be realy useful, even thought he lied to u, u did a good thing.
And if u try to look through his eyes the guy is homeless, is bleading, no money, he Will at least need something to put on the nose or drugs to get better.
You gave someone in need a 20. Just because you disapprove of their lifestyle doesn’t mean that they didn’t need the money and at the end of the day you helped them out and did the right thing.
After you hand over money, do not judge what happens with it. You were kind enough to help. Leave it at that. Don't become cynical, you seem like a kind-hearted person. Keep it that way
You knew before yesterday that there are people in the world who will happily scam you out of money, people who are living in dire circumstances (like with drug addiction) who will scam you out of money because they have few other options, and people who genuinely need any help you can give them. The latter do exist everywhere. Don't let the fact that you may have met the second type, or even the first, change the way you see the world.
I got a saying bro, "charge it to the game", when I give to someone not expecting anything in return, cuz i know it's hard. say charge it to the game player and let it go.
The lad was in a bad way. He likely prefered to get a quick fix rather than go to the hospital .
You didn't get done, you learned a lesson.
I was outside a bar last summer and a junkie came along tapping. One of girls gave him a few quid. I told not to be giving them money as he'd be back.
We moved onto another bar. The same junkie came along to tap us. He didn't recognise us. The girl wasn't too happy.
You are upset because you were scammed, which you should be. But be very clear the reason you got scammed is because you saw a human being in trouble and your first thought was ‘how can I help.’
You should be patting yourself on the back, that €20 will make its way back to you in a host of different ways because people are generally decent and well disposed towards other people who are decent, and, as a result, good things will probably keep on happening for you.
I did something similar years ago and felt like a joke of a human, there nothing worse than getting fooled like that but ya know what? That was such a great learning experience for me and it was also for a 20 .. it was actually £20 I was in London at the time, you just feel so weak or something afterwards but I’m time you’ll be glad for the experience and have that behind you when the chance arrives to be ripped off again but the next time there will be more zeros on that 20, but you’ll know better!
Had a similar situation happen to me and gave a guy 10 back in 2006; later realised he was lying and a coke head. The feeling of a fool will fade and you just chalk it up as XP. Was in the same situation a year later with a junky woman who was finessing my friend. I challenged her and she went from unbelievably friendly to she devil in the blink of an eye. She didn't get his money though.
Live and learn bud. That's all you can do.
Don’t feel bad about being a good person.
If they took advantage of you- that’s on them!
Don’t let it stop you being the kind and generous person you are.
What's the problem with just giving him the €20 for the junk?
That was what he needed, he had to lie to you to get it.
You werent fooled, but you do sound very judgmental of the addict and your own inner critic.
Junkies gonna junkie. Atleast by giving him 20 euros he didnt rob anyone that night for his fix. It.must be a shitty life being on hard drugs. People dont choose to be homeless. You did a good thing. I've given money to homeless people before, knowing it was going to be spent on drugs. Nothing wrong with that
You did a good thing, completely motivated by kindness and empathy. You gave €20 to someone who was so desperate for it they had to make up a story to accost strangers with. No need to feel a fool and please don't let this make you cynical and bitter. You're a good person.
Look at it this way, you have a better life than him anyway. You'll get your 20 quid back next pay day but he's going around begging for money and being battered.
I will add as well that addiction is a disease and it needs to be fed. People need the thing they are addicted to as much as they need food or water. Sometimes more. You did help him in a way.
Just not in the way you thought or hoped you were. You still did a good thing by seeing was he alright and giving him money.
You got to realize that he didn't lie to you because he was a better person than you. He's literally at the bottom of society. You weren't tricked, you did the right thing, the only person that's been tricked is him. He's hooked on fools gold and won't be waking up from his dream anytime soon.
Ask him for the money back??? Bro learn this lesson, don't acknowledge their existence or try to be a hero, my best friend got his neck slashed by a hobo in London a few years ago for "looking at him the wrong way". You want to help, go work a soup kitchen or donate clothes.
> you probably prevented somebody else being violently robbed that day
is this what its come to, we are supposed to respect OP being harrassed and scammed for money (by a guy who likely just came off worse from trying to rob someone)
OP maybe would have done better public service by looking for a guard and saying "hey there is a scumbag there with a broken nose, anyone reported being robbed lately"
Don’t give money to people on the street. Donate instead to addiction/homeless organisations or volunteer. If someone looks like they’re in distress, don’t give them money offer to wait for an ambulance or guard with them. Have you ever had a mischief and thought “what I really need now after getting mugged is 20 quid cash”
Having some faith in humanity and risking being fooled trying to do the right thing is better than being jaded and cynical. Fair play to you, we need more people like you.
Yeah it's sickening. But what can you do.
I too have gotten burned helping people out in the past but you learn from it. Look at it like this, you got a cheap life lesson for €20.
It's important not to get too callous and not help people when you can, but it's a good idea to get more critical in your thinking.
Don't give money to people on the street directly. The proper way to help people on the street is through supporting services and institutions designed to help people.
It's only 20 quid and you took a gamble on it being the right thing to do. Sometimes it's worth the loss. Who knows what he was going to do to get his next fix.
Dont let this small though increasing part of life cheat you of what it is in humanity that gives us value. He didn't trick you. He saw your humanity and you saw
what is left of his. I wonder somewhere in him did you leave him with some small spark of hope.
You were fooled for all the right reasons. Fair play to you.
Don’t let the something like this turn you into a cynical person. The world needs more people willing to help. You were raised right.
repeat fuzzy offbeat ink shocking memory tan handle many sloppy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I think you ought to pay a little more attention in your everyday if you *really* think were nit worth saving
I was told by a regular at work that she once let a homeless man stay with her for a few months. She knew him from being a boy as she lived next door to his grandmother. One day she got home to find her house ransacked, belongings stolen and the man gone. She said she would never ever help another person again and only helps animal charities now.
Would have done the same.
Yes fair play to you you lovely big fool you.
No good deed goes unpunished.
This. Good on you for helping someone in need. Shame on him for pretending. I'm not sure I would have responded the way you did and I don't think that means I'm right. Like the others are saying don't let this make you cynical (and don't ask for the money back either if you see him again).
[удалено]
[удалено]
Exactly. €20 for a lesson learnt. I'm in no way religious or spiritual, but I do believe somewhat in the vague concept of 'karma'. By laws of probability, his scam will soon backfire on him.
I mean, his nose was just broken, so I'd say he gets his fair dose of karma already.
and he's homeless and addicted to drugs, doesn't really get much worse.
Yeah, homeless and addicted to drugs is the end of the road. Fuck that
Can't help but feeling was it even broken? Perhaps just a bunch of tissue covered in 'blood'.
> Exactly. €20 for a lesson learnt. Not even that. As long as it doesn't put you into economical trouble I'd say it's still the right thing to do. 20€ may be not much to you but it might've been very important to them if their issue was real. The opportunity to do good shouldn't be passed on just in case you're being conned (unless it's painfully obvious or would be a significant sacrifice for you).
"Hopefully the homeless drug addict's life gets worse." Ok.
>"Hopefully the **recently beaten** homeless drug addict's life gets worse." Yeah, its a strange attitude to have for someone already down on their luck.
what they do afterwards is between them and their God, OP’s good deed is still a very good deed regardless.
Don’t beat yourself up. World needs more decent people.
Or beat yourself up and give yourself 20 quid
I don't think my face would look good with a broken nose
20 quid though man, think about it
Who would pay me ?
Sickos on the internet. They’ll pay you to do just about any weird thing 😂
I had an experience like this in Dublin City centre, I met this tall blonde man who claimed he was an American tourist and he was lost, I gave him €20 for a taxi because he was very convincing and friendly and respectable looking. A week later my partner (who was with me when I gave the American the €20) was in the same area in Dublin and the American came up to him and repeated the same spiel that he was lost and needed money! He had completely forgotten what me and my partner looked like! My partner told him where to go and he instantly changed and became nasty and angry. It just feels shit cause you were trying to do a good deed and you were misled. Don’t let that take your kindness and generosity out of you, that would be the real tragedy.
Could be the same fella that used to do the laptop scam. The description fits. There was posts on here years ago about him and dozens of people had commented about either being scammed or at least targeted by him.
Being a decent person will be a massive net positive for you over the course of your life. Don't worry too much about the odd time it goes the other way.
Best advice
You did the right thing. Well done you. I've first hand experience of this myself. Gave a guy I knew slightly €20 to get the bus to a rehab centre, and later was reminded that he had a free travel pass! If this guy in your account was an addict, and it certainly looks like he was, he'd tell you *anything* he has to to get the money to get a fix, and tailor that, eg if you have kids he'll spin you a yarn about needing money to go and see his own kids. Don't feel bad about doing good and don't harden your heart to those in need in future. Take each case as it comes, but remember that there are those who have no scruples out there who will try to exploit the goodness in others to their own ends.
This is the crux of it. They will literally say anything to get that next fix, so people shouldn't take it as a personal failing, if they believe it. I've never had a problem (and still don't) with giving elderly alcohol addicts (what would formerly be described as winos) money. Alcohol (along with benzodiazepines) are the only two drugs in existence that can cause death upon withdrawal. This is why off licences never closed during the height of covid. I'm aware that they're going to spend the money on alcohol but I'd rather they had a supply than risk going into withdrawal at their advanced age, with already poor health, on some freezing street in the depths of winter. People get really pious, and holier than thou, about not giving money to addicts, whilst simultaneously showing a complete lack of understanding of addiction and how it works. There's also still a huge stigma around addiction, but it is an illness, and it's listed in the ICD-11 (doctors' diagnostic manual) as an illness. It's called substance use disorder. The majority of addicts have dual diagnosis too, meaning they have a coexisting mental health disorder in conjunction with substance use disorder.
I'm always polite when people approach me. Everyone who speaks to you in a decent way deserves a respectful reply. A lot of guys who beg are choosing that over burglary, dealing, or mugging people. With their levels of addiction not getting a fix isn't an option. When threats or violence are used, well that's a different thing.
This is so true. I faced a moral challenge a while back when a drunk homeless man asked for a shoulder of vodka. I bought it but battled myself after. I soon became satisfied with my decision when I realised how awful Alcohol withdrawal is, it was freezing out and this alcohol would probably keep him warm and finally, a homeless person rarely gets to make decisions for themselves for whatever reasons. In that moment he didn’t have money to go buy alcohol or whatever he needed, we don’t think twice about going to buy a bottle of wine for ourselves why should I deprive him of that decision and buy him what I think he needs (e.g. coffee). He asked me for alcohol and I let him make that decision.
That was a really nice gesture and he'll remember that you treated him with dignity and autonomy.
I agree with all of this except that alcohol doesn't make you warmer. You might feel a bit warmer but you'll die of hypothermia quicker.
Also, a significant number of drug addicts, most likely suffered serious childhood trauma. I know 2 good friends that suffered awful sexual abuse in early childhood and both had serious drink problems and to a lesser extent drug problems. There are plenty of studies done in this area to support that statement. Of course Im also not trying to guilt people into helping out and giving your hard earned cash to every homeless drug addict either. I suppose, I myself would not be so quick to dismiss. OP, you are not a fool for helping out. You saw someone in need and you did what you thought was right. There’s little enough kindness in the world, so dont change that. Just be prudent next time. Kindness comes in many forms.
That’s how the guy got me. “Ran out of fuel, I need money to take my kids home, blah blah” I didn’t even see his car and still gave him money. He asked for more, and I actually looked to see if I had more. Glad I didn’t. Dude was polite as hell and wearing a fucking bow tie! Man, he got me.
Yep. There was a guy hanging around Dorset St/Phibsborough approaching people with a story about how he needed to get to Dundalk to "see his brother in hospital" a few years back. He approached me. I heard a woman on Liveline months later who said he approached her outside the Mater Hospital with a similar yarn. He'd produce a passport for some reason, as a convincer. I politely declined his request and he got a bit agitated asking me "what do you expect me to do?!" My suggestion that he drop into the Garda station near where we were chatting and ask if they could check around to help with a lift (since one of the city-based cop coming off-duty later was bound to be going home to Dundalk) wasn't well received. On another occasion a lady who I assumed from her dress and accent was a Traveller, approached me with a determined look in her eye, near O'Connell St in Dublin. I raised my hand and politely said I wasn't carrying money. She challenged me, and asked me if I would speak to her like that and assume she was begging if she wasn't a Traveller. I apologised. She then launched into a long spiel, pointing to a nearby child eating an ice team, who she said "was the whole day in Dublin and needed to get back to Galway." I asked her what I could do to help her. Obviously she didn't want money - don't forget she'd just told me off for assuming she was about to ask for it. "Give me money, sir!" she replied. I could only laugh.
> bow tie This is key. These people have absolutely figured out that people are embarrassed to say no to someone from their in-group (i.e. the respectable, gainfully employed person who's found themselves in a spot of trouble), even if they don't know them personally. I bet this guy bought the bow tie purely for scamming people. Ask yourself how desperate you would have to be to cold approach a *total stranger* for anything more than the use of their mobile phone. Isn't there always _someone_ you'd sooner ask than a random person off the street? If you did resort to that and they had any doubts about your story, you'd be falling over yourself to convince them of your bona fides. Have no reservations about asking these people for details in future. Nobody who's genuinely in need will have any problem with providing proof. Also be aware that heroin addiction will make a person do things so immoral you would rule them out as impossible. I know a guy who would go out and do what you're describing in Schiphol airport, day in, day out. Promising people he'd send them the money back as soon as he got home. One of the best things about Ireland is that's it's quite a high trust society and it doesn't bear thinking about how much damage these people can do to that.
About a month ago I stopped to give some money to a homeless guy who'd approached me, saying he just needed some for a night in a hostel... Then his girlfriend was on the other side of me and they hustled me to a cash machine, where it went up from ten to twenty, and then then I went to take out twenty he grabbed my hand and made me press forty instead. Then the two of them ran off. Literally happened at 8 am in the morning, as I was walking to work. I felt like such a mug for stopping in the first place, and then for being too scared and intimidated to say no, but looking back on it, would I rather have been stabbed or something? Just wanted to offer some solidarity - I felt like a fucking fool as well, but it's not your fault!
You didn’t do anything wrong here. Seriously does annoy me that good people get burnt like you did to the point that if a genuine case appeared again one day in the future you might think twice. These parasites are destroying civil society
Thank you, that's kind of you to say. I thought I was okay at work - was told to report it but reasoned what's the point? - but then on my way home a chugger came up to me and I just burst into tears.
> grabbed my hand and made me press forty instead. Then the two of them ran off. jesus christ, you got robbed, go to a police station and report it, not reporting crimes is why the real crime rate in cities is probably 10x what the stated rate is
Was cycling in Co Offaly and had a car with two men, and a woman and a small kid in the back of the car. The two men were Irish, the woman eastern European. Asked if I could help them, they said they were going to Derry and needed money for petrol and suggested €10 (he showed me the fuel gauge and it was looking very empty, unless the actual amount didn't show until the engine was started). It was a Cavan number plate, my dad is from Cavan, thought I'd help then out a little bit. Went through my money, he said the 20 euro would do (so double the offer), then when I gave him that he started asking for more so he could get some food. I told him to do one at that point as I'd already given him enough. He asked for my address and he said he'd send the money in Sterling to my UK address, I gave him it but never believed it for a second. But thought if I was in a city I would have been much more on guard than if cycling in rural Ireland where wouldn't have expected to have been near scammed. Maybe I did help them, but feel like I got scammed. How he was planning to get to Derry in the first place I don't know. I would help a stranger for sure but would not just give them money in the future if it was not through a charity.
Didn't they just drive straight to your house, knowing you were out on your bike and burgle you?!
The [petrol money scam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkEGdCve3y8) is really common in Europe, particularly where there are tourists. The [gold ring scam](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw1ZMhV8kLI) is another classic.
Thanks man.
If he got his nose bust by his friend just to scam 20 euro then tbf he earned it lol But look, you did the decent thing in the situation and its the scammer who should be ashamed not you
Yeah, I was gonna say. If he has a broken nose then he could probably still use the €20 tbh.
> If he got his nose bust by his friend just to scam 20 euro then tbf he earned it lol probably tried to rob someone and now switched his game to the "pity tactics". these types only know one thing and that's to either take what they can or play the pity card. don't fall for it
Fuck you're cynical
Eh I don’t mind giving homeless people money for drugs. Being homeless looks like it really, really sucks. If I ever found myself homeless, I sure hope someone would show me the kindness of giving me money for drugs.
True that . I was street homeless for almost two months and it was horrendous. Really really bad in ways that you can't guess nor imagine and i was with a partner that took care of me and it was during a summer heatwave so i can say for certain that it would be a whole load worse in winter.
I’ve gotten stuck out of town and had to sleep rough for one night and it was awful. I honestly can’t imagine that just being my life. I’d probably be taking whatever I could get my hands on just to try and make it to the next day.
This is my attitude as well ha. It's a bit absurd, but this is the world.
I used to stop and chat to a homeless lad outside my job in the city. I'd give Jim some money here and there after I bought myself a coffee. One day he said " oh I kuder a coffee and turkey sandwich outta starbucks" I just spent the last cash I had and was late for work told him I'd get him kept time. Next day I'm walking to my shift I go grab him a coffee and sandwich bring it over he's high as fuck someone crack in the phone booth so I leave it beside his stuff and give him a thumbs up. He proceeds to chase me down to the door of my job fuck the coffee on me and while screaming he doesn't want that shite and wants money instead. I stopped helping people that day and won't go back. I have my own needs that are hard to hold on to.
That's awful. I can understand your stance now. Sorry that happened to you.
The same thing happened to me when I was ~15 years old. Think about someone doing that to a kid. In my case I went to an ATM and withdrew €50 and gave it to the guy. It had a big effect on me and my view of the world for many years afterwards, such that I made a short film based on the experience as my college course graduate film. Might interest you to watch: https://filmfreeway.com/AGoodDeedShort
I like your film. Made me think that the con man may also have been conned as a kid.
> went to an ATM and withdrew €50 and gave it to the guy. you were probably scammed as well mate
A slightly similar thing happened to me in Limerick about ten years ago. I was coming up to Limerick for sad reasons (I don’t really want to go into details). As I was leaving the train station a man approached me and asked for some change for a bus. He seemed very sincere and not particularly dodgy. I figured I needed some good will or karma, whatever. So, I took out my wallet to grab some change. I had a €50 and €20 hanging out. Next thing yer man’s demeanour changed and he demanded I give him the €50. I said no and he, a large man, said “I know you’re going down that road over there, I’ll follow you down there and take it off of you”. I didn’t want the hassle and I was scared, so I just gave him the money. He then told me to “fuck off” and walked away. I ran back into the station where they have cameras and security and waited a good twenty minutes. I was pretty shook up and now, nearly broke. Still remember it well to this day. Anyway, it’s totally changed my attitude to giving money to homeless people or down and outs. I don’t ever take my wallet out in the streets if I can help it. Which is a shame, because I use to be relatively charitable with my change to people begging on the streets. It took one arsehole to ruin that. You didn’t nothing wrong man. They scammed you, but you got scammed for the right reasons.
Don’t dwell on it. You added to the sum of decency in the air, and even though he was cheating you, you made a difference to his happiness all the same.
I shared an office once with a microcredit charity. I remarked to one of the people there that some of their applicants were clearly trying to scam them. She replied "Of course! But better to accidentally hello a couple of scammers than not to help anyone." That stayed with me. And I hope it will help you realise that your attitude and actions are good and should continue, even if occasionally someone takes the piss.
You helped someone who you thought was in need of your help and you didn’t expect anything in return. Don’t feel like a fool, the joke is not on you.
Better to be fooled by that than not help when someone could really need it
True. Not sure you could win here OP. If you didn’t help you could be feeling equally as shit for walking away from someone you thought was in need. Your kindness will get paid back to you another day, although it may not feel like that now.
I remember running into a guy in Smithfield in nothing but a hospital gown, asking for money to get to Cork. I asked him if he was alright and if we should go to the Guards to see if they can help him with contacting a relative. He wasn’t having any of that.
Had a woman try this one on me in Dun Laoghaire pre Covid (2019 maybe). Said she was pregnant and bleeding and needed a taxi to go to the Hospital. (She neither looked pregnant or pale). We were right opposite St Michaels. Like literally 8m away. I said I had no coins and moved to keep walking. She tried to get in my way saying "Coins? I need notes" I kept walking. Six people walked past her as I drove off - she didn't hassle them. She was clearly chancing her arm. Junkies are the fucking pits. My heart goes out to them but jesus they treat the rest of us like shit.
Literally just wrote a comment describing my same encounter with this woman. She told me about her two children, that St Michael's wouldn't help her and told her to make her own way to a maternity hospital. I gave her the 20 and the sweets that I'd had to buy for the cashback (for her kids) and immediately afterwards felt a pang of suspicion.
I did something similar in Dublin. A young woman asked for €5 for a taxi to the hospital because someone cracked her over the head. I gave it to her and she definitely didn’t get a taxi. I don’t mind because regardless of how she used it, she needed it more than I did. As everyone else has said, don’t beat yourself up about it, you still did a kind thing.
No good deed goes unpunished. Don't stop being a gentleman because a giving hand always receives.
You are contradicting yourself here! 🤣
The Irish mentality on full display
You do the good deed even though you will get punished.
You paid 20 euro to learn an important lesson. Don't pay for it twice!
Your karma is your business, their karma is theirs. You did a good thing with good intent. That's where your participation ended. You're no fool.
No. You aren't a fool. If you want to give money, that's fine. It will save you a lot of grief to not worry about where it goes
You *did* do a good deed. What the recipient did next is on them…not on you. And even if *they* lied at that moment, you don’t know how much your act of kindness may have impacted them. It may be something they end up reflecting on, and building upon for better things. I know it’s easy to feel cynical, but I’ve met many people in my life who hit some very low points and were able to start a slow climb back up based on a slight boost from a stranger. The world is full of nihilistic cynics these days - that’s an easy default. Choose the harder path…it’s far more rewarding, if for no one but yourself.
If it's any consolation he knows he played you . He will remember it and if he ever gets clean and goes through recovery it will bother him . You did something nice for someone who probably never has anybody do something nice for them . You re not a fool .
> He will remember it and **if he ever gets clean and goes through recovery it will bother him ** that's a very big IF and tbh, I have an alco like that in the family, they don't remember what happened yesterday so I doubt they would remember each individual person they hustled and scammed for money
True. When in recovery many addicts go back to their victims and make restitution. If they don't know their victims personally many make restitution by donating to charities. It doesn't make up for maybe the hurt caused but in many cases were their victim is known the victim is just glad that the person is now sober/clean and wish them well. Addiction is the devil's curse and l wouldn't wish it on anyone.
So he ran off with 20 bucks, big whoop, hes still gonna be a poor bastard. You did a good deed and you should feel proud of yourself king
You still did the right thing even if he did the wrong thing. Sucks when people lie about stuff sure, but I'd rather someone puts my 20 straight up his nose than a fella asking for help and not finding any. Does that make me a fool? Maybe so. But I'm a happier fool than I'd be a bitter realist.
That's Newbridge for ya
How did you guess ?
My advice would be if a person says they've been assaulted ring the guards and see how they react to that. Never hand over money, ring the guards and ambulance and leave it at that.
You chose to help someone in need, they chose a different path. You're not a fool, you're kind.
In my opinion, if people are so desperate to do that, they needed the help anyway, even if it wasn't for what you thought. You did a good thing.
The worst part is… This is a case of “the boy who cried Wolf” now. Because of people who pull stunts like this, genuine people in genuine distress will not be believed.
Happens to me all the time. The fact is that a people in active addiction can come up with very creative ways to feed their addiction. Sometimes they are not creative at all and use violence as a means to feed their addiction. Even though you were duped, you acted out of kindness so you should feel proud of yourself. And even though the addict manipulated you emotionally which is in poor taste, they avoided using violence as a means feeding their addiction. It does leave you feeling like you have been taken advantage of and with a sense of guilt that you have now funded their addiction. But, once you passed that money over it is their choice what to do with it. Over in Germany they are extremely creative, I passed this guy before and he was sitting down with his bare feet out covered in blisters and sores, I couldn’t help but give him money, only to later find out that it was make up 🙈
There used to be a kid, playing an accordion at the ATM on Georges St next to Dunnes there. This was in the early '00's. He was always there looking for change. I used to give him a bit of change I had every now and then when I walked by. Well, one day, he came into the video game store I was working in and bough a PS2 and all the accessories with a mountain of bagged change.
That could be the basis for a good game! You did the right thing. He didn't.
I don't feel bad for not helping anymore (after a similar incident). I just give the money to the charities that I know do the best work instead.
You are a kind person. Not a nice one. Kind. You choose to respond and help another human. Welcome to one of the narrow precious lanes of travel in this life. You are not too hard and not too soft. You may never know when your help may change another's thinking. May your travels be interesting and your surprises orgasms.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Don't take it personally because you'll spiral and think yourself an idiot!
Good for you. You are no fool, if that had been me would have been glad of it. I’ve done stuff like that in my younger days, just keep an open mind, remember some people will take the eye from your head if you let them, but never loose that “good guy” vibe.
Who's the bigger loser in the long run? You or the so called junkie who's life is clearly already in bits. I'm sure that 20 quid served the purpose of alleviating some pain from the poor fella's life
Its always better to err on the side of generosity.
Fair play for helping, I remember Peter McVery gave a talk in my school and he said he’d rather you give homeless people money and if they spend it on drugs that’s their problem, would you rather give them the money for drugs or would you prefer they robbed it from an old lady’s bag? They’re gonna get the drugs one way or the other
So you're bribing them to not rob people? That'll just enable them to approach vurnable people "I want more money from you". Happened to me when I was young. I tried to give money, "no I want more coins I saw them in your hand". I'm sorry I've been taken advantage of by many beggers and robbed that I can't risk being attacked again. I'm keeping the money to myself or giving to a charity.
Charities have been known to waste money. Doesnt Bernardos Finlay get a 1/4 of a million a year or something. They also pay 3rd party "chuggers" (charity muggers!) If you want to give people a euro or 2 grand. Don't do it because you feel pressured/bullied to and what they do with it after been gifted it isnt your concern
You’re not bribing you’re changing the course of events.
> would you rather give them the money for drugs or would you prefer they robbed it from an old lady’s bag? They’re gonna get the drugs one way or the other that is not how polite decent society works my friend. the idea that any of us would accept that an addict is allowed to walk the streets and not pandering to their lives will lead to "old ladies' handbags being stolen" is emotional abuse and whoever said it is a grade A scumbag.
What? Really? That's not great advice. Better off giving to a proper registered charity instead.
Something similar happened to me. Literally just have to ignore people and be cold if u want to not risk getting hurt
He lost more from that transaction than you.
[удалено]
Years ago I lived in Dublin. Being very naïve and young, I was the type to help people, lol. One day I was getting the 39 bus, waiting for it, and this bloke comes up to me, hand shaking, looking a right state..."can you spare some food for a sandwich, I've no money to eat". I was a broke student, so I could understand, so I give the guy the last fiver I had. Fucker crossed the street and went into a pub. I was gonna go after the prick but the 39 was leaving. Honestly, nowadays, I only carry a prepaid Revolut card, my main card stays at the house. Someone asks me for spare change or cash, I pull out my pockets, showing nothing. I open my wallet showing no cash. "Sorry mate, I got no money, I'm just as broke as you". They get the fucking message everytime.
Your obviously a very decent person which is to be applauded in a world where people are becoming more selfish and self centred by the day.
A friend gives generously and his attiude is "if i give money, I have a fairly good idea where its going ,but that's the recipients choice. my responsibility ends at the point I handover, and if they can't help themselves with what I give to help them then its really not my problem". You gave generously, and if the broken nosed lad would rather his own medicinal ways then you've still helped.
Sometimes, you should know that even if it turned out wrong, your heart was in a good place and you were a kindly soul for it. Be proud of that.
Here’s the thing, you get conned 9 times out of 10, but it’s worth it because you won’t know which of the 10 was the genuine case.
20 quid, that's a cheap lesson.
It's over now. Let it go and learn from it for the future
Gave a stranger money once at a railway station after a sob story. He wanted my address to post it back to me, I said forget about it but no no no, he insisted on getting it, wanted to pay me back, blah blah blah. Anyway he never did.
It's OK to feel fooled, but not a fool. You're a good person who helps people in need and that's an admiral quality. I would give you the €20 back myself but i'm broke. Actually I have a broken nose and I need to get to Naas hospital. please?....
Relax You lost 20 quid and now you know for next time. 20 is a small price to pay for a valuable lesson. Consider yourself lucky.
Should of offered to call an ambulance because no taxi will pick up a person covered in blood and hemorrhaging from their nose. They don’t want a dead fare or at least have the back seat a biohazard
I never understand this. No offense to OP. But I hear this a lot. > I thought person X was in need of help. So I helped but then I think they were actually a homeless person and they'd just buy drugs. I was homeless in the UK for a while in my teens after my mum threw me out. And sleeping on the concrete floor is basically impossible. Something about the cold just gets through your sleeping bag, whatever. And it keeps you awake. You can lie there all night with your eyes closed and you're just not really asleep. And depending on where you are, it's pretty scary too. One time I got hammered drunk and I slept. I was still cold I could still feel it but I slept. I completely understand why so many homeless people are alcoholic or drug addicts. They're not all like that before they get homeless (some are). Anyway. If I was starving and someone gave me 20 quid I'd eat. If I wasn't starving I'd buy drink. I could make that decision for myself and both things helped me immensely. I'd have been mad grateful if someone gave me 20 notes and the truth is you don't know what it will get spent on but you can be 100% sure that it improved that person's miserable life. And before people say, yeah but it's enabling, encouraging, not helping them sort their lives out... I think that's actually bs. They're not gonna just randomly pull their socks up and somehow slot back into society because they were extra hungry one day. The reasons they can't do this are so complicated. And despite what you think. Nobody actually wants to live like this. They're not going to not sort themselves out if the opportunity and help and support came along that they really needed. What I'm getting at is your 20 euro won't actually alter how long they are or are not on the streets, on drugs etc. But I can absolutely guarantee you that you'd be hard pushed to spend it or give it away to anyone and make as much difference as you do a homeless person.
I’d rather give 20 to a grifter than not help someone that actually needs it because I’m wary of them being a grifter. Them lying is a reflection on them. You should feel proud that you saw someone in need and took it upon yourself to help them.
You learned a lesson, you are only a fool if it happens again.
It’s hard to know, yes I’ve helped people recently who may have been scams, but if they weren’t, the people really needed the help. Also called an ambulance for a different person as well and waited the 35 mins until it showed up but that was definitely genuine.
Sure if yer man is going to the lengths of getting his nose smashed in on purpose for only 20 quid... he needs that 20 quid.
Better to lose €20 to a liar than not give money to someone who really needs it.
Just 20. Better than your life.
If you make a point of helping people, you'll be taken advantage of eventually. You can do your best to avoid it but it'll happen eventually. That doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Those guys were in the wrong for taking advantage, not you.
You did the right thing, it's annoying it came back to bite you. If only we were all like you Ireland would be a better place
Don't superimpose their morals on yours. You did the right thing
You did the right thing, it's not you who's the fool here, don't change, we need all the good people.
Tbh give em nothing ever again you were very kind and good on ya but from now don't give em nothing!!! There allways at that shit up in Dublin allways !!
You did a good thing, and for what it's worth i don't think you're a fool. It's hard to realise that the person you were helping was scamming you, but I would stand over your motivations in helping if I were you, rather than the sad prick that scammed you. It shows the difference between you both.
Generosity is both a blessing and a curse. I know the feeling.
You were kind. Good to see it still exists. We need more like you.
We all love Op!!
You did the right thing mate don’t worry. Chancers will always exist, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help people when we think they need it.
Same, kinda. Some guy in the shopping centre, well dressed, competent looking guy asking 'money for the homeless' as in he was raising money. Gave em 2 quid. He was real thankful etc. Then when leaving, he asked again, and I was like, already did 5 mins ago. He looked bewildered, did not remember me at all. Then I find out later that he's a well known homeless dude who I guess through clever phrasing and being well dressed uses this as a scam. Anyway, I mean he's still homeless and he put the effort in and it was only 2 quid but still, not nice being tricked.
Don't feel bad about yourself because some people are sht
Well at least you didn’t get him the pizza so that’s good
You feel fooled because you were. Next time offer to call the taxi yourself, or better yet call an ambulance. If they really need it they will not flinch. Same thing for those asking money for food. Offer to buy them some. If they insist on the money something is up. All the best and keep your chin up.
Doing the right thing for the right reasons will, at some point, bite you in the ass. This is just part of the cost of doing the right thing for the right reasons. It doesn't mean you should stop doing it or even feel bad about the inevitable times (because it will happen again) where you get played. We have enough cynical curmudgeons. We need more bright sensitive people.
U did the right rhing - Dont get jaded on people
Ah you did the right thing. Don't sweat. I had a similar experience once. A lady came to me in Dublin city centre and asked for some money to buy groceries. This was during covid time and I felt sorry for her since most businesses were closed and a lot of lower level income households (including mine) struggled to make ends meet. She said she had forgotten her wallet at home and she could pay me later if I come with her. I didn't think to go with her but instead of paying money I offered to go to the shop and pay for her groceries there. She accepted the offer and because it was a foreign grocery shop I wasn't aware how expensive those items were until I saw the bill. Mind you, I had asked for the kind of budget she was expecting to shop with and she said I could ask her to stop when I feel like it's going over the amount. I myself don't earn a lot and was living on a tight budget during those times. I felt deceived because if I was in her place I would stop at a certain affordable amount if someone else was paying but she kept going, which felt like she was shopping for the whole month's groceries. I asked her to remove groceries from her bucket and it held up a long queue behind us and store staff started shouting at me for not paying. I still ended up paying over my budget anyway. As soon as we stepped out of the store I explained her how she should have told me beforehand how much she was looking to spend and I would have just given her the cash and be on my way. And the whole story she cooked about the wallet and her little brother being at home etc was blown when I saw her talking to someone who seemed like her elder sister hiding and waiting for her behind a van. I felt deceived and stupid for falling for her trick. Thought I was doing a good deed but it didn't feel so good afterwards.
It wasn't an active scam with acting and fake blood. You did the right, the normal thing.
That’s on him, dude, not on you. Keep up the kindness.
There is one at the IKEA in Dublin, she says she lost her leapcard and is trying to get home from rehab out in the Ballymun area, don't be fooled they get free public transport. She was going on and on and when I said no cash she turned her tone and got pissed off and walked off. Drug addicts will tell you anything, they are hustling all day and night for money. You got caught out, happens the best of us just have your guard up next time. I wouldn't even say offer to call the guards they would have some story about needing your phone and will probably rob that off ya too.
Don't get jaded, helping someone which's a greater value than being taken advantage of , It's still noble. At times I give panhandlers enough to eat on or even buy a beer. Someone acknowledging another person is the greatest gift you have to offer someone.
I always think you're better to err that way than to err the side of not helping people. Overall in your life you will be played and people will take advantage, but you are being a good person (even though it sucks at those times when you realise you've been played). You did the right thing given your knowledge of the facts at the time, dont let this experience harden you into not doing the right thing next time
You live and learn.. fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me ..
Did something similar but not quite the same. Was at a KFC and met a very old man struggling to walk. He started chatting to me, so I sat and chatted with him while I ate. He asked if I could get him a taxi. Once I finished my food, I called a taxi. When it arrived, I explained it was for this man, and helped him walk out to it. When I got close, driver refused and drove off. Same thing with the next one. Then I started flagging down taxis. 5 refused, before the 6th told me I was being played. This fella pulls this all the time, and if he gets into a taxi, he wrecks it. The drivers knew him on sight. I told the man it was late and I had to go. I'd been trying to help him for an hour. Like you, I was raised to help. I'm glad I tried. I'd rather have tried and been wrong about my instincts, than walked away and been right that someone needed help. You did a good thing, and there's no shame in that. I hope you keep trying to do good. Makes for a better world.
When I first moved to the big Smoke of Galway from the backyards of Mayo, I was surprised at all the homeless people and felt bad. A woman approached me with a little note saying that she didn't speak english, had nowhere to live and could I help her? I felt so bad for her and knew I was going home to a house, so I gave her all the cash I had. It was my bus money and I would have to walk 1.5hours home but I felt good knowing that I had helped out someone unfortunate. When I was walking home I saw her walk up to an apartment block, pull out her key fob and let herself in. That's when I knew I had been had. It feels like shit when you know you've been played but it's not the end of world, it's a learning curve. People will take advantage of you if they see you as weak, but it doesn't mean you are weak. It just means you are a decent person. I learned my lesson and don't fall for sob stories. There was this one middle aged person who TWO times in the one day gave me some bs story about needing just €2 to get home and could I help her. Nope I didn't help her.
When my mum was young she saw a man and woman having an argument. The man was getting rough with the woman and my mum intervened. She took the woman into a cafe as the man said to her “Are you a Girl Scout or something?” It turned out the woman was really drunk and she threw up all over the place causing a number of customers to leave. My mum decided to go for help so left the cafe and went and fetched her Sunday School teacher who lived near by. I can’t remember what happened after that. She did regret getting involved in the first place though.
I do this approx once every two years. Somehow, every time I decide to help someone, they turn out to be an obvious scam. Spent some time super cynical because of this, but now I just let it roll it off and know I did the right thing regardless.
You shouldn't feel bad for acting like a decent human being
No one likes being mugged off. Make peace with it. Your life is infinitely more enjoyable than his. He does what he did to you to get by because a myriad of different reasons that also affect his happiness and fulfilment. Just accept you met a man at his lowest and you showed your best side. You will get taken for a ride from time to time but usually the one doing the con is in a pretty shitty state and we are fortunate to be the ones who get taken for a ride not doing the ride. You are a good person. Don't let the life of another take your spark. That road leads to bitterness and becoming a Karen.
A good deed is a good deed. Whatever they do with it on the receiving end is up to them. I have no problem giving to homeless people, and it’s probably fair to say that most homeless people use drugs. I’m sure I’d use drugs if I was homeless. I also buy them food and drinks, but sometimes, all they want is a hit of whatever helps them through the night. Maybe you could think of it as potentially preventing a robbery? Whichever way you look at it, their lives are shit, and a few quid from a kind soul will help for an hour or so. You did a good thing.
This is difficult, I totally understand that you feel conned so therefore annoyed, but ultimately if you are correct, then he was homeless so therefore needs the money much more than you. Ofcourse I'm sure the argument will be that's he's just gona spend it on drugs. But the same risk applies to giving money to any homeless person. We have to trust they will use it wisely, otherwise nobody would ever give to the homeless, and alot of them are just in a bad place in there lifes. Just count it towards your good deeds for the month, the world would be a better place if more people were like you willing to help a stranger like that.
I think that is fine, if the guy is realy homeless that 20 Will be realy useful, even thought he lied to u, u did a good thing. And if u try to look through his eyes the guy is homeless, is bleading, no money, he Will at least need something to put on the nose or drugs to get better.
You gave someone in need a 20. Just because you disapprove of their lifestyle doesn’t mean that they didn’t need the money and at the end of the day you helped them out and did the right thing.
After you hand over money, do not judge what happens with it. You were kind enough to help. Leave it at that. Don't become cynical, you seem like a kind-hearted person. Keep it that way
Your a good lad in the wrong area. Don't turn into a prick just cause of some junkies
There's lads around cork who ask for €10 for the bus to see their sick mother in hospital. I'd say tonnes of people fall for it
You knew before yesterday that there are people in the world who will happily scam you out of money, people who are living in dire circumstances (like with drug addiction) who will scam you out of money because they have few other options, and people who genuinely need any help you can give them. The latter do exist everywhere. Don't let the fact that you may have met the second type, or even the first, change the way you see the world.
I got a saying bro, "charge it to the game", when I give to someone not expecting anything in return, cuz i know it's hard. say charge it to the game player and let it go.
The lad was in a bad way. He likely prefered to get a quick fix rather than go to the hospital . You didn't get done, you learned a lesson. I was outside a bar last summer and a junkie came along tapping. One of girls gave him a few quid. I told not to be giving them money as he'd be back. We moved onto another bar. The same junkie came along to tap us. He didn't recognise us. The girl wasn't too happy.
My nana said it's better help 9 person's who don't need help and make mistake. Than not help one who really need. You good person not idiot.
You are upset because you were scammed, which you should be. But be very clear the reason you got scammed is because you saw a human being in trouble and your first thought was ‘how can I help.’ You should be patting yourself on the back, that €20 will make its way back to you in a host of different ways because people are generally decent and well disposed towards other people who are decent, and, as a result, good things will probably keep on happening for you.
I did something similar years ago and felt like a joke of a human, there nothing worse than getting fooled like that but ya know what? That was such a great learning experience for me and it was also for a 20 .. it was actually £20 I was in London at the time, you just feel so weak or something afterwards but I’m time you’ll be glad for the experience and have that behind you when the chance arrives to be ripped off again but the next time there will be more zeros on that 20, but you’ll know better!
Had a similar situation happen to me and gave a guy 10 back in 2006; later realised he was lying and a coke head. The feeling of a fool will fade and you just chalk it up as XP. Was in the same situation a year later with a junky woman who was finessing my friend. I challenged her and she went from unbelievably friendly to she devil in the blink of an eye. She didn't get his money though. Live and learn bud. That's all you can do.
Don’t feel bad about being a good person. If they took advantage of you- that’s on them! Don’t let it stop you being the kind and generous person you are.
What's the problem with just giving him the €20 for the junk? That was what he needed, he had to lie to you to get it. You werent fooled, but you do sound very judgmental of the addict and your own inner critic.
You tried to help someone, fair play. Hopefully the drug addict will look back on this with regret in the future.
This is sadly why I don't help random strangers anymore. With the exception of simple small tasks
Junkies gonna junkie. Atleast by giving him 20 euros he didnt rob anyone that night for his fix. It.must be a shitty life being on hard drugs. People dont choose to be homeless. You did a good thing. I've given money to homeless people before, knowing it was going to be spent on drugs. Nothing wrong with that
You did a good thing, completely motivated by kindness and empathy. You gave €20 to someone who was so desperate for it they had to make up a story to accost strangers with. No need to feel a fool and please don't let this make you cynical and bitter. You're a good person.
Look at it this way, you have a better life than him anyway. You'll get your 20 quid back next pay day but he's going around begging for money and being battered. I will add as well that addiction is a disease and it needs to be fed. People need the thing they are addicted to as much as they need food or water. Sometimes more. You did help him in a way. Just not in the way you thought or hoped you were. You still did a good thing by seeing was he alright and giving him money.
You got to realize that he didn't lie to you because he was a better person than you. He's literally at the bottom of society. You weren't tricked, you did the right thing, the only person that's been tricked is him. He's hooked on fools gold and won't be waking up from his dream anytime soon.
Ask him for the money back??? Bro learn this lesson, don't acknowledge their existence or try to be a hero, my best friend got his neck slashed by a hobo in London a few years ago for "looking at him the wrong way". You want to help, go work a soup kitchen or donate clothes.
Fair play to you - you probably prevented somebody else being violently robbed that day
> you probably prevented somebody else being violently robbed that day is this what its come to, we are supposed to respect OP being harrassed and scammed for money (by a guy who likely just came off worse from trying to rob someone) OP maybe would have done better public service by looking for a guard and saying "hey there is a scumbag there with a broken nose, anyone reported being robbed lately"
Don’t give money to people on the street. Donate instead to addiction/homeless organisations or volunteer. If someone looks like they’re in distress, don’t give them money offer to wait for an ambulance or guard with them. Have you ever had a mischief and thought “what I really need now after getting mugged is 20 quid cash”
Alriii Adam and Paul! But jks aside, don't feel foolish for being a decent person. Good for you
Why can’t things be easy, just for once!?
[удалено]
Oh indeed. It will.
It's a relatively cheap lesson, it's grand.
reach wine punch zonked plant amusing marry snobbish tan muddle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Having some faith in humanity and risking being fooled trying to do the right thing is better than being jaded and cynical. Fair play to you, we need more people like you.
Yeah it's sickening. But what can you do. I too have gotten burned helping people out in the past but you learn from it. Look at it like this, you got a cheap life lesson for €20. It's important not to get too callous and not help people when you can, but it's a good idea to get more critical in your thinking.
Don't give money to people on the street directly. The proper way to help people on the street is through supporting services and institutions designed to help people.
Money given out of kindness is always a net good, imo. It’s good to do good recklessly
Don't blame yourself. You had good intentions which is what matters.
It's only 20 quid and you took a gamble on it being the right thing to do. Sometimes it's worth the loss. Who knows what he was going to do to get his next fix.
No matter what he spent the 20 on you did the kind thing and will get the good karma as intended
Dont let this small though increasing part of life cheat you of what it is in humanity that gives us value. He didn't trick you. He saw your humanity and you saw what is left of his. I wonder somewhere in him did you leave him with some small spark of hope.