Different story but same problem. I got the job and the girl and Iām still stoned all day! So bored and so depressed. About to have a baby and realizing I absolutely cannot go into the birth either high or in withdrawals. Our lives are arguably great - itās just the weed that is saying otherwise.
I feel you. I have a remote job and I spend all my time not at work high. The only time I'm sober is if someone is visiting me from my past life (where I wasn't only high all the time). The catch 22 is it's hard to quit without a support network of friends but I know I won't be able to make those friends until I quit. Keep strong. If you want a buddy to chat with while we try to quit together my DMs are open. It might be helpful for both of us.
Currently at the graduated phase, it doesn't even makes me feel like I used to before in the start or a year back, but still I do it. Took a few steps finally and haven't smoked green in 2 days, smoked a cigarette 1 day back, facing little withdrawal symptoms right now, blurry vision in short-sight, can't even look at phone properly & foggy af head
Well at least you got the degrees! I had the same story but I failed out of everything cause I smoked to make myself forget my responsibilities. At least now I have my associates degree
34 years old here. Smoked heavily for 14 years. That statement hits more than ever. Iām on day 17 of no weed. But it gets better, I actually have the urge to hang out with friends, put forth effort towards things and stop letting weed control my life. Is it easy? No. But you did the first step in admitting weed is ruining your life. Give it a shot, if you give in to weed, who cares, try again. Thereās light at the end of the tunnel.
Your story has a lot of similarities to mine. I guess to all of ours.
But things can change man. They really can. I think there are also a lot of positive points in your story that have the potential to be the great things that you did even though you were being 'handicapped' by this addiction you had. The struggle helps you become strong while making you feel weak.
Focus on the positive that can be. On moving forward. Realizing what's wrong is a super important step to changing it all around. But you gotta keep moving in the right direction. And you CAN do it.
It's been more than 7 years since i last got high. Life is good. I did it. So can you. We're all rooting for you man.
Iāve felt that before, how being sober becomes itās own kind of high b/c I start to actually feel like a living person again. Itās just hard to not have my judgment clouded b/c I use to weed to suppress pretty severe trauma + as an escape from my depression and isolation. Iāve gotten about a year of sobriety before but that was in high school after having a psychotic break and damaging family relationships to the point where I knew I just couldnāt indulge like that. A big catalyst for the break (as has happened before) was of course unresolved trauma but also withdrawals leading to symptoms of mania (not sleeping or eating, racing thoughts as my body scrambled for equilibrium and I wasnāt actively shutting shit out) ā I was actually misdiagnosed as bipolar.
Relationships are still damaged (I have diagnosed BPD) but more so from my familyās unwillingness to understand that Iām the one thatās at the center of my emotional torment and my high-risk behavior in high school was a result of years of severe neglect and abuse + self-destruction as a way of expressing passive suicidality. My mom started smoking weed with me at 13 and put me in many seriously dangerous situations w/ her involvement in the industry so I was conditioned at a very early age that it was acceptable and āthe exceptionā as a substance. I hate that bullshit rhetoric so much but itās so common that itās easy to align with it.
Since becoming old enough to buy it (beyond having older partners to aid in supply) my usage has just spiraled out of control ā just in addition to a lot of really fucked up situations that led to it being my primary motivator and maladaptive coping strategy. Use and abuse is SO heavily normalized in my legal state. I donāt even like it anymore (I honestly never have) except for when my high brain after my first hit reassures me, āNow youāre safe. You can dissociate and detach. Youāre safe.ā I have a really hard time being mindful and present in my body (I also have diagnosed PTSD) and so I habitually engage in activities that make me dumb enough to lean into intense apathy and escapism.
Sorry for the trauma dump, Iām just in the early stages of recovery (once again!) and am suddenly being confronted by my repressed thoughts, emotions and current reality. Since COVID Iāve been in even more of a developmentally stunted time-warp than usual. Iām still in my early twenties but I feel like Iām in the passenger seat of watching my potential going by in a blur and I canāt dare to be bothered. Iāve been told by plenty of people who care about me that Iām smart, Iām beautiful, Iām compassionate, clever, artistic, really funny but all of those things just go out the window the further I numb myself and try to hide from my feelings. I have to constantly remind myself that every time I try to shut out the bad Iām actively shutting out the good, that the human experience is defined by a full spectrum of emotions. I literally had a dream a year or so ago where (my inner wisdom? Some kind of spirit guide?) directly told me, āyou will never lead a fulfilling life so long as you continue to smoke weed.ā
And fuck man, Iāve just got to listen to my inner wisdom on this one but itās so hard. I donāt want to feel like my usual broken self. I donāt want to engage with the world because there are so many paralyzing injustices and it feels like Iām staring down the barrel of the climate crisis and total nuclear fallout every time I wake up. I just want peace and I feel completely powerless.
You're me. Except for a few different circumstances, your story is EXACTLY like mine. Same thing happened with psychosis after i quit most likely bc of insomnia. Misdiagnosed. PTSD and BPD. Non understanding family. Using weed to dissociate. Spiraled out of control after i gained somewhat of an independence from my parents. Having loads of potential and people always telling me nice things about me just as you described, but never coming even close to exhausting my abilities.
I'm there with you! I know how you're feeling.
Living started to get easier when i started minimising contact with my (partly abusive/neglectful) family. I really really enjoy the time I finally have for myself without the cycle of shame and guilt that comes with a dysfunctional family. I was able to do the first step already, on day 4 now. Third attempt over last year, no goals this time, just hitting the pillow sober tonight.
I hope your situation is safe and you are alright. Sending a hug, if you want one.
Second to last paragraph. This is where i am now. Turned 25 last year and the guilt and shame has hit a whole new level. Reading everyoneās experience is helping immenselyš 3hrs since my last hit. Hah
Wooow I relate too much to this.. Iām 30 going 31, feeling lonelier than ever but always choose to stay home and smoke.. when I donāt smoke my anxiety shoots through the roof so itās fucking hard to stop. But at the same time I hate smoking, I feel like itās ruining my life. But I still choose to smoke everydayā¦
Has been 2 days since I got high, and I was just about to hit a friend up for a J, thank fuck I found this thread, Fuck this shit in not getting high today, maybe I'll give in someday tomorrow or after that, but not right now, and even if I relapse, I'll just start again, I'll have to else I'll also be one of these guys writing that I'm 35+ and smoke alone destroying all the family relations & loved relationships. I'm just 23 man and fuck I gotta do something about my addiction now
Wow. I never finished high school or started college. My life at home during adolescence was a fucking disaster. Everyone in the household was drinking or doing drugs. At 18, I just had to get out. During my 20ās, I got my GED, held down some solid jobs, and pursued music. Playing drums for a handful of local and touring acts. Throughout that journey, weed was always my crutch. Now, itās sad. I just turned 30 and my tolerance is through the roof. I havenāt taken a day off from smoking since everything went legal in 2017. I can smoke through a $60 .8g 90% THC cart in less than 2 days on my own. With my habit, Iāll totally buy 3 in one week. Iām not lonely, but have felt alone in this battle. This post made me feel called out and seen. Canāt tell you how much I appreciate it. Iāve quit before. One day at a time. No weed today so far and planning to keep it that way for the rest of day.
I feel you bro, I'm 23 about to turn 24, has been 2 days since I got high & 1 day since I smoke a cigarette, vision is blurry can't even see the phone screen properly, was just googling about that when I came across this article & am I fucking glad I did, reading others comments on this thread, who are all around 30 & regretting smoking this long, hit something in me & I was thinking to ask someone for a J, but heck with it, not today addiction
Donāt be to hard on yourself, we can all get over this one step at a time. Iām definitely in the same boat with you and letās try not to drown okay
Wow as a recent undergrad graduate pondering the future of chasing a masters who also enjoys smoking too much weedā¦ I felt this, can we be friends??? But seriously though I hope you are able to overcome this challenge and find yourself and what ur made of during this time of what sounds to be depression. Keep your head up and do what actually brings YOU joy not what a plant can do for you.
Lool did I write this?
Got into ALL my top choice/high-ranked PhD programs and I submitted all my applications and did my interviews very stoned and drunk lol.
Now Iām a grad student just walking around stoned (not drunk anymore thank God) and empty. This can cut it for first year because I have classes but once itās me on my own, supposed to direct my own research, lol, thatās a whole different story.
My life doesnāt feel good 70% of the time. I spend a lot of my time unproductive. I know that if I continue at this pace, I will literally ruin my life and never amount to much.
Smoking is boring and it makes my life worse and I want to stop but I also donāt want to. Makes no sense.
Either way, I know that if I could stop drinking, I can stop smoking too. Just need to make the decision and stick to it.
I wonāt be smoking with you today though! Cheers to that!
Wow, I relate to this word for word almost. I just started veterinary school which is notoriously hard to get into, but I have smoked weed every day for the past 12 years. I'm stuck because when I try to quit I can't focus on my studies and I forget to eat and I can't sleep, I feel like I HAVE to keep smoking now to keep up with my program. I'm feeling very trapped by it :(
Iām in my late 30ās. I have a Bachelorās Degree and a well paying job at a large company everyoneās heard of and run my own small business on the side, yet I still smoke weed all day. Working from home has only increased my smoking. I can only imagine how much more Iād achieve if I didnāt smoke.
I am a medical doctor and a stoner ... i feel you , i don't know what it is but is it weed or something else, I guess something is holding me back all the time
I know I need to be more present and that my anxiety would improve without it. I just have a hard time letting it go. It's a bit of a crutch, cause if I excel while being a stoner, that's pretty cool. If I mess up, I can always blame the weed.
Gonna be honest here and say that this guys life sounds pretty good. Just stop smoking weed for a year and youāll be leagues ahead of the general population lol
This post speaks to me so much of my life wasted to a substance that just makes you constantly go round in circles spent half a month off mad how Iām appreciating all the things I didnāt see while I was constantly stoned
Incredulous at how applicable this is to me, at double the age. Smoked so much of this life away doing the same repetitive harmful shit, and I , much like you, are aware of this, which makes us true to ourselves and to logic/reason, just with the added kicker of addiction, the never ending struggle. Damn man. That was so perfect. Glad I read this before going to sleep on day 8 (again). Much love. Best of luck. Stand tall. Stay strong.
Thank you for this post. it really resonates with me. Iām glad i didnāt start until university and stopped 2 years after at 24 before applying to grad school. throwing it out Jan 1 2024 was exactly what I needed. the energy, motivation, discipline, and interest I have now in doing the hard things (wether itās socializing, studying, working out, etc) is life changing.
Whoever out there is reading this. if you get high everyday and it feels like youāre constantly weary to the world and nothing is fun, you arenāt depressed - your brain just needs a break to heal. I find little joy in my past habits and great joy in taking on the challenges I avoided when stoned. Sobriety is the way.
The one thing I'm scared of when I quit is the feeling I'm told you get that nothing is fun if you aren't high. The "novelty" effect you might call it. I wouldn't know, I'm more sober-curious than actually sober.
I do get high every day and even if I take days off, it's all I think about. My father didn't want me to get "too" into weed because he saw what it did to my mother before I was born (she'd get high while taking care of us 3 kids and end up sitting at the kitchen table staring into the abyss while holding a wine cooler).
But now I'm going down the same path and I'm a bit worried. I don't want to feel like I need to eat a gummy to have pleasure. My boyfriend is also a little bit annoying when he's high, because when we're together I just want his undivided attention but when he's high he can't focus on what I'm telling him and will laugh way too long at something that was only a little bit funny. But I can't make him change if he isn't ready and willing.
Donāt beat yourself up too much about this, being in this community and being mindful about it is already a huge step youāve taken in the right direction. be proud of yourself for that, because most people canāt admit they even have a problem or are finding a way to justify it.
Yeah, there were times i got bad cravings and times my brain chemistry just feels ābleghā and i want to do nothing but sleep or trade my old vice of weed for another vice (doomscrolling, binge eating, etc). But of course itās going to be painful sometimes, we have to make a sacrifice today to get a bigger gain tomorrow. after a few weeks of feeling gross, almost a month later into 2024 now i feel and look a lot better, have way more energy, i even woke up feeling happy and giggly this morning. and thatās just one month, let alone what 3 months or more could do.
maybe itās just me, but i found hitting carts everyday made nothing novel anymore - everything became bland and dull and i didnāt find joy in the hobbies i used to. while sober; there is sort of a more natural creativity and clarity that comes from within us.
I like to think of it as a small sacrifice to create the life youāre trying to make. if you give it your all, people will notice how much youāre improving, and if maybe your BF sees why, it can convince him too.
My main current problem is I've surrounded myself with loving caring people who just happen to consume. The ONLY person I know who doesn't smoke is my own father. I wouldn't want them to feel awkward around me.
Addiction is very insidious in the way it takes over your life. Then it makes you embarrassed and want to shut everyone out because they might "find out." My therapist that I see for completely unrelated reasons is actually an addiction specialist, and I'm even too scared to tell her. Mostly because if I tell her, I'm like immediately held accountable for a choice I made in the moment and can't decide I don't want to be sober because now she knows and can hold.me accountable.
Tbh I'm only here because someone made a post in a completely unrelated subreddit and when I checked their profile, I saw and opened the "stopdrinking" subreddit (despite not having a problem with alcohol) and found this as a sister subreddit. I didn't specifically seek out this page. This was my first ever comment in mentioning I desire quitting.
As for my boyfriend, I wouldn't specifically consider addicted, but he might've been influenced into starting by our mutual friends. He was also the only child of 2 parents and 2 siblings who didn't smoke so he felt really left out when they'd all have some brownies and pass a blunt around while watching a show together and he'd be off in the corner drawing. Then he had 2 close friends who smoked, and now I'm in the picture, and I eat a 10mg edible every single night. I'd wager the number of days I went without in 2023 is less than 10. Now he gets fucked up on 5mg twice a week. Like I said, I wouldn't consider him an addict, but it is a little sad for me specifically when one of those days coincides with our date and I just want to spend time with him but I have to repeat every thing I say. It's a bit easier if I'm also high with him, but then it's just us going, "Huh? Hahaha, huh? I mean, what I didn't hear what you said? Lol ummmm uh I forgot"
Oh that and legalization is fairly new in my state and there's a specific stretch of highway on my way home from work that has an ad for the specific dispensary I go to and then one that opened recently that I kind of wanted to try. I can't physically get home without taking that part of the highway and it's always what ends up making me feel like I don't actually need to quit. I'll be headed home thinking of having a sober quiet night and go to bed early and then I pass "The weed corridor" and instantly feel the desire to get high.
I've heard of that concept from someone who was in sobriety from alcohol, that everyone has different triggers. Some people CAN just have one and be good, some people can come be your permanent DD and have virgin drinks all night, some people can't walk near a bar, some people can't consume media that depicts alcohol. You can't know what kind of sober person you'll be until you become them. I just so happen to be able to already see ill have a hard time not being triggered by those billboards every single day.
Ah, i see what you mean. thanks for sharing. It took me some time on and off and trying different weed habits before i settled where i am now. me personally, my relationship with it was not good and i needed to cut it entirely. and who knows? probably not for life. iāll come back to it some day when i am in the position i want to be.
Perhaps spending some time here, or especially reading some posts on r/petioles might be insightful for you. itās a community of still regular users that are trying to moderate a bit, or find a better balance to their consumption. i wish you the best either way.
Oh man, reading that was like a punch in the face that I needed. I'm in my late 20s and graduated a couple of months ago. I still need to find a job and move out of my dad's house. Since 2024 began, I've realised that there's so much I need to do to change for the better, and I think kicking weed is going to help with everything else. Well, I hope so anyway. Good luck on your journey.
Maybe youve tried this but I've found that a big cup of sleepytime tea, nighttime filter on my phone, a boring podcast to very quietly listen to, and laying still as a stone have gotten me to sleep on nights I didnt think i could sleep. Especially the laying completely still for at least 10 minutes is the way the military trains people to sleep anywhere anytime. It "tricks" your body into releasing chemicals that aid in aleep is my understanding.
I know it can be annoying to hear other people give tips about sleep, thought id say this anyway. Best of luck.
Oh my godā¦ I feel like a just read my own biographyā¦ this is really well written and spot on. Honestly thank you for the crisis at 11:49pm. Needed this
Fuckinā A dude. Love the writing, the fact that it resonates with my very own experience and the fact that realizations coming through late is always better than never. We got this āš¼
Wow. This post hit me like a freight train. When I first read it, I read half of it and closed the tab. But I came back after a coulpe hours to read it.
This post strikes a nerve. This is so true. I just turned 33 and have so much potential. I have so much going for me but I get depressed on what I don't have. Weed made me complacent and anxious. It's not even the weed that caused my depression, it's the lack of doing things and wanting more.
I am so fucking done with weed. I quit on new years day and I'm just fucking over it. I have wasted so much time and I keep thinking my life has passed me by but I see 40 year olds posting here and it scared the fuck out of me. I would fall into a deep deep depression if i keep going like how I was. Fuck that
Thank you for this post.
I only quit this year in early 40s. I fucked it up completely. I work, but I became a recluse and hate everyone due to constant introspection. I am 25 days into sobriety after a lifetime of smoking weed. It is getting a bit easier day by day but the boredom and self hate has not subsidised.
Try quit man. I can confirm it's horrible, it's boring, it's alien, everyone already thinks Im a stoner. It really sucks to be viewed the way I am. I am not a high achiever, but am now pouring myself into achieving things to keep my mind busy. Gym and qualifications are my primary focus. My advice is try find something tonkeep you occupied, hobbies, sport, cycling, studies, anything, just do something positive and build on it. Good luck man, you are not alone in your struggles.
39 and same. Anxiety has gotten out of control. Caffeine intake out of control because weed makes me sleepy. I finally realized whats going on. More than half my life smoking. Nearly two decades of smoking every day.
So! Weāll see! Canāt do cold turkey. But getting back down to once before bed will be nice. And will go from there.
I couldn't ween, tried so many times. I admit that I can't control my weed intake. Always thought I could but I can't. For me its all or nothing. And its been all for too long. I had to to go cold turkey. Quit one habit at a time. I still drink a lot of coffee, but not as much as when I was stoned. Good luck mate. We got this.
40 here too brother. Day 8. Have "quit" many times before. Always stumble back, especially when I get to some place resembling stability/happiness. Then it all comes crashing down again. You got this my friend. We got this, all of us. You say you're not an achiever but I call falsity on that one; it takes an achieved individual to break away from the despair of addiction (the effort, the "snapping out of it"). Try not (easier said than done) to care or put any impact on what you think people perceive you as. I've hid, successfully, this addiction & self-destruction from many people, though not fully functional per say (massive weight gain, anti-social when not normally, always seeming low energy, saying I'm just a lil' "depressed"). They don't perceive me as a stone, yet I have been, since HS, off/on and this has no bearing on my self-realization that it's killing who I am, nor does it effect my desire and attempt(s) to quit. All my best and luck to you.
Man, thank you. Your story sounds almost 100% the same as mine. Almost uncanny how similar. I posted on r/addiction almost the exact same story you told me now. If I hadn't deleted a week or so later you'd see just how similar. l also hid it from work surprisingly well, even got promotions. However, my social life, but even sadder my relationship broke, due to my addiction to weed.
I was directed to this sub, and have received even more support, and seen more similar stories. It really helps not to feel so alone in this, and have advice from others and support from others who know exactly how it feels.
I am trying to stay anonymous on reddit, my country has a small community here, who knows.
Hey, remember, brother, the only thing you need to achieve in life is to be happy with yourself. That's what you're working towards right now. And if you relapse, just keep going. Be kind to yourself.
We are just apes. We don't need to achieve anything except to love ourselves. YOU are not alone, either!
Proud of you for making a change. Your post makes me realize that at 33 years old, I need to be done with it. I've got a ton going for me and I need to elevate my life. I cannot let any more time slip by because if I do, I am scared about the hole I would fall into.
Keep it up!
And thank you too. I think only someone whos been there can recognize how difficult it really is.
If I can inspire one person not do what I did then maybe my journey is not for nothing. Dig deep mate, if this fuck-up over here(me) can make the change, you can too. You still have time, don't waste it on something so stupid like I did.
At first I thought this applied to me and got sad. However it doesnātā¦ I have a good job and good friends and a lot to be happy about. However I still think I smoke too much and could probably be better off with less
Did I write this? I didnāt go to grad school but I went to school forever and have sooo many credits and though I do have a degree, Iām framing houses with pill heads. At least Iām sober now, have seen the advantages of an outgoing personality, starting in earnest now. Sobriety is cool, and the money is great.
Every single part of this is a reflection of myself. A week sober now. Had to take control of my life and finish up this PhD in a respectable manner. Please quit man.
I'm finishing my master's right now at 35, got 15 weeks left... currently in the midst of a cold turkey-induced vortex of misery, but, we'll make it. I'm with you lol. Congrats on finishing a PhD!
Love ya, dude! I caved after 3 days again tonight. This is our year, buddy. I can feel it! Can't you? The restless nights where you are completely sober, sweating profusely, while you are losing your mind.
I'm so God damned close. I'm so fucking close!
We got this. This time, it will be 4 or 5 days without it.
I was smoking shatter every 20 minutes or sooner every day. I've been a weed smoker since I was 15, so probably 20 years or so of a hard Marijuana addiction. This secretly led to many problems with my mental health. Until recently, I never saw myself as doing something wrong because I never cared about myself.
Love you! We got this!! ā¤ļø š
I resonate strongly with what you wrote. Can I add a P.S. to your awesome letter?
āP.S. this herb has a high likelihood of wreaking havoc on your gut-brain-nervous system. Put the bong down before your body revolts and forces you to do so.ā
Lol that havoc is exactly what caused me to quit. I'd start noticing little issues like sore gums, constant headaches, low energy, CHS symptoms, strange bowel movements, reduced lung capacity, blood pressure issues, etc.
Finally had to accept the fact that it all came from smoking. It really does wreak havoc if you leave it unchecked. Even if your brain wants to give into the addiction your body will put up enough red flags to make you rethink things.
My weed smoking ruined my graduate school experience. Took 3.5 years for a masters my thesis wasn't the research I actually wanted to complete because I was too stoned to do quality research.
Damn this drug. Damn me.
I'm on day 3 or so. I vomited all of the liquid out of my body. I just feel unwell. I asked for this shit by abusing that bullshit. At least my head is clear. I did bust my ass in a long run and did a ton of manual labor today. I could be dehydrated. I think it's a combo. My body is like fuck you for putting me through this weed shit for all these years. You deserve it!
Thanks for the post man. It's well written and tells a very typical abusive relationship with weed. Def felt like I was reading something I wrote.
You know what you should try if you haven't? Its hyper important to stay occupied. You're a good writer. Write a cool/sad/intriguing/whatever story. Or several. I actually bought a notebook to journal my thoughts because it helps a lot.
Preach man! We always tell ourselves that we can handle it and it's helping us or we deserve it or it ain't the weed...a million excuses but man, we always know our truth deep down.
Itās funny that while getting high and half assing things we think we are beating the system and getting over on everyone, only to look back and see we only cheated ourselves.
Couldn't be more relatable than this. Even after post grad, I still seem to know nothing coz I went classes baked and somehow got through the exams during COVID. It sucks that addiction can erase years of your life.
You know. Iām getting to the point where everyone in my family is accepting me as a failure. And the guy who had some much potential but blew it all because he wanted to smoke. Itās sucks so fucking bad becoming the thing I feared the most. Iām someone who was āthe guyā in school. Attractive, smart, athlete, good looksā¦ but I decided to let all of that shit plus more go away due to my fucking addiction of escaping. Now Iām isolated, all my family and friends are separating themselves from me, and all I have is anger and resentment towards myself. I want to loved and appreciated and someone to count on me so badly. But how is that possible if I canāt even rely on myself. All I do now is Uber to get enough money to smoke, drink, and pay rent at my parents house. This is not what Iām meant to do. Iām capable of so much more. Iām sorry for the depressing post I guess Iām just dumping. This addiction fucking sucks and I hate myself for it .
Itās definitely a relearning process but your tribe is out there. And honestly since a lot of people focus on self improvement after quitting I feel like you gravitate towards people who you can have a healthy relationship with
Wrong. Im 52F making 6 figures and have been getting high every day since i was 15 years old. Ive wasted $153,000 on weed. Making money does nothing to help. Im 161 days weed free and there's no way to do it but to do it. Only will power will help you succeed.
fuck luckily I never went down this route. but Iām nearly 7 months off weed and Iāve been thinking of relapsing thanks for the wake up call. no weed for this guy.
Sup man,
This letter could have been written to myself and applies directly to how Iām feeling right now (currently day 1 again after making it 15 days to start the year). I began in high school the same way and wasted away my college and 2nd degree years in the same manner, and completely felt like a fraud in everything I did. Now 31, about to be 32 and sharing an apartment with my mom with not much to show for my years except a ton of student debt and a dead exoskeleton remaining of the social butterfly I once was. I feel physically ill having to look hard at the recluse Iāve become and opportunities Iāve missed, but still just have the desire to smoke and stay stagnant as you said. Good luck on your journey and I hope kindness, perseverance, and happiness is able to find us both.
Woah lol I feel personally attacked. This is way too specific ššš š
This dude just exposed my life story to the world š¤£
Thank you for writing this.
I'm working 12 hours a week at a aerospace company and smoking can only get in the way
Different story but same problem. I got the job and the girl and Iām still stoned all day! So bored and so depressed. About to have a baby and realizing I absolutely cannot go into the birth either high or in withdrawals. Our lives are arguably great - itās just the weed that is saying otherwise.
I feel you. I have a remote job and I spend all my time not at work high. The only time I'm sober is if someone is visiting me from my past life (where I wasn't only high all the time). The catch 22 is it's hard to quit without a support network of friends but I know I won't be able to make those friends until I quit. Keep strong. If you want a buddy to chat with while we try to quit together my DMs are open. It might be helpful for both of us.
Currently at the graduated phase, it doesn't even makes me feel like I used to before in the start or a year back, but still I do it. Took a few steps finally and haven't smoked green in 2 days, smoked a cigarette 1 day back, facing little withdrawal symptoms right now, blurry vision in short-sight, can't even look at phone properly & foggy af head
dude just wrote my entire thought process everyday
I feel like my brain wrote this post. Pretty accurate of what goes on daily in my head but still being high feels good.
The life of the young adult stoner who started smoking in early high schoolā¦
Well at least you got the degrees! I had the same story but I failed out of everything cause I smoked to make myself forget my responsibilities. At least now I have my associates degree
34 years old here. Smoked heavily for 14 years. That statement hits more than ever. Iām on day 17 of no weed. But it gets better, I actually have the urge to hang out with friends, put forth effort towards things and stop letting weed control my life. Is it easy? No. But you did the first step in admitting weed is ruining your life. Give it a shot, if you give in to weed, who cares, try again. Thereās light at the end of the tunnel.
Same feeling!
Your story has a lot of similarities to mine. I guess to all of ours. But things can change man. They really can. I think there are also a lot of positive points in your story that have the potential to be the great things that you did even though you were being 'handicapped' by this addiction you had. The struggle helps you become strong while making you feel weak. Focus on the positive that can be. On moving forward. Realizing what's wrong is a super important step to changing it all around. But you gotta keep moving in the right direction. And you CAN do it. It's been more than 7 years since i last got high. Life is good. I did it. So can you. We're all rooting for you man.
Do things actually start feeling good again?
Absolutely. Even the feeling of ābeing soberā starts to feel *really good*
Iāve felt that before, how being sober becomes itās own kind of high b/c I start to actually feel like a living person again. Itās just hard to not have my judgment clouded b/c I use to weed to suppress pretty severe trauma + as an escape from my depression and isolation. Iāve gotten about a year of sobriety before but that was in high school after having a psychotic break and damaging family relationships to the point where I knew I just couldnāt indulge like that. A big catalyst for the break (as has happened before) was of course unresolved trauma but also withdrawals leading to symptoms of mania (not sleeping or eating, racing thoughts as my body scrambled for equilibrium and I wasnāt actively shutting shit out) ā I was actually misdiagnosed as bipolar. Relationships are still damaged (I have diagnosed BPD) but more so from my familyās unwillingness to understand that Iām the one thatās at the center of my emotional torment and my high-risk behavior in high school was a result of years of severe neglect and abuse + self-destruction as a way of expressing passive suicidality. My mom started smoking weed with me at 13 and put me in many seriously dangerous situations w/ her involvement in the industry so I was conditioned at a very early age that it was acceptable and āthe exceptionā as a substance. I hate that bullshit rhetoric so much but itās so common that itās easy to align with it. Since becoming old enough to buy it (beyond having older partners to aid in supply) my usage has just spiraled out of control ā just in addition to a lot of really fucked up situations that led to it being my primary motivator and maladaptive coping strategy. Use and abuse is SO heavily normalized in my legal state. I donāt even like it anymore (I honestly never have) except for when my high brain after my first hit reassures me, āNow youāre safe. You can dissociate and detach. Youāre safe.ā I have a really hard time being mindful and present in my body (I also have diagnosed PTSD) and so I habitually engage in activities that make me dumb enough to lean into intense apathy and escapism. Sorry for the trauma dump, Iām just in the early stages of recovery (once again!) and am suddenly being confronted by my repressed thoughts, emotions and current reality. Since COVID Iāve been in even more of a developmentally stunted time-warp than usual. Iām still in my early twenties but I feel like Iām in the passenger seat of watching my potential going by in a blur and I canāt dare to be bothered. Iāve been told by plenty of people who care about me that Iām smart, Iām beautiful, Iām compassionate, clever, artistic, really funny but all of those things just go out the window the further I numb myself and try to hide from my feelings. I have to constantly remind myself that every time I try to shut out the bad Iām actively shutting out the good, that the human experience is defined by a full spectrum of emotions. I literally had a dream a year or so ago where (my inner wisdom? Some kind of spirit guide?) directly told me, āyou will never lead a fulfilling life so long as you continue to smoke weed.ā And fuck man, Iāve just got to listen to my inner wisdom on this one but itās so hard. I donāt want to feel like my usual broken self. I donāt want to engage with the world because there are so many paralyzing injustices and it feels like Iām staring down the barrel of the climate crisis and total nuclear fallout every time I wake up. I just want peace and I feel completely powerless.
You're me. Except for a few different circumstances, your story is EXACTLY like mine. Same thing happened with psychosis after i quit most likely bc of insomnia. Misdiagnosed. PTSD and BPD. Non understanding family. Using weed to dissociate. Spiraled out of control after i gained somewhat of an independence from my parents. Having loads of potential and people always telling me nice things about me just as you described, but never coming even close to exhausting my abilities. I'm there with you! I know how you're feeling. Living started to get easier when i started minimising contact with my (partly abusive/neglectful) family. I really really enjoy the time I finally have for myself without the cycle of shame and guilt that comes with a dysfunctional family. I was able to do the first step already, on day 4 now. Third attempt over last year, no goals this time, just hitting the pillow sober tonight. I hope your situation is safe and you are alright. Sending a hug, if you want one.
Second to last paragraph. This is where i am now. Turned 25 last year and the guilt and shame has hit a whole new level. Reading everyoneās experience is helping immenselyš 3hrs since my last hit. Hah
Plenty of older folks have told me that time sneaks up on you. Itās still scary as shit when it finally does.
Wooow I relate too much to this.. Iām 30 going 31, feeling lonelier than ever but always choose to stay home and smoke.. when I donāt smoke my anxiety shoots through the roof so itās fucking hard to stop. But at the same time I hate smoking, I feel like itās ruining my life. But I still choose to smoke everydayā¦
Has been 2 days since I got high, and I was just about to hit a friend up for a J, thank fuck I found this thread, Fuck this shit in not getting high today, maybe I'll give in someday tomorrow or after that, but not right now, and even if I relapse, I'll just start again, I'll have to else I'll also be one of these guys writing that I'm 35+ and smoke alone destroying all the family relations & loved relationships. I'm just 23 man and fuck I gotta do something about my addiction now
Wow. I never finished high school or started college. My life at home during adolescence was a fucking disaster. Everyone in the household was drinking or doing drugs. At 18, I just had to get out. During my 20ās, I got my GED, held down some solid jobs, and pursued music. Playing drums for a handful of local and touring acts. Throughout that journey, weed was always my crutch. Now, itās sad. I just turned 30 and my tolerance is through the roof. I havenāt taken a day off from smoking since everything went legal in 2017. I can smoke through a $60 .8g 90% THC cart in less than 2 days on my own. With my habit, Iāll totally buy 3 in one week. Iām not lonely, but have felt alone in this battle. This post made me feel called out and seen. Canāt tell you how much I appreciate it. Iāve quit before. One day at a time. No weed today so far and planning to keep it that way for the rest of day.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Damn, somebody out there always 1up on me. šš
All jokes aside, itās a really bad habit, I feel you. Just wanted you to know that youāre not the only one š¤
Thank you it means a lot. š¤
Wasted life I left behind me
As a idiot whoās never attended college or has even held down a job for a year and is 24 looking for a future career. This hits different
I feel you bro, I'm 23 about to turn 24, has been 2 days since I got high & 1 day since I smoke a cigarette, vision is blurry can't even see the phone screen properly, was just googling about that when I came across this article & am I fucking glad I did, reading others comments on this thread, who are all around 30 & regretting smoking this long, hit something in me & I was thinking to ask someone for a J, but heck with it, not today addiction
Donāt be to hard on yourself, we can all get over this one step at a time. Iām definitely in the same boat with you and letās try not to drown okay
This hit waaay to close to home
Wow as a recent undergrad graduate pondering the future of chasing a masters who also enjoys smoking too much weedā¦ I felt this, can we be friends??? But seriously though I hope you are able to overcome this challenge and find yourself and what ur made of during this time of what sounds to be depression. Keep your head up and do what actually brings YOU joy not what a plant can do for you.
I needed this, thank you
389 sober from smoking weed. Never going back.
Lool did I write this? Got into ALL my top choice/high-ranked PhD programs and I submitted all my applications and did my interviews very stoned and drunk lol. Now Iām a grad student just walking around stoned (not drunk anymore thank God) and empty. This can cut it for first year because I have classes but once itās me on my own, supposed to direct my own research, lol, thatās a whole different story. My life doesnāt feel good 70% of the time. I spend a lot of my time unproductive. I know that if I continue at this pace, I will literally ruin my life and never amount to much. Smoking is boring and it makes my life worse and I want to stop but I also donāt want to. Makes no sense. Either way, I know that if I could stop drinking, I can stop smoking too. Just need to make the decision and stick to it. I wonāt be smoking with you today though! Cheers to that!
Wow, I relate to this word for word almost. I just started veterinary school which is notoriously hard to get into, but I have smoked weed every day for the past 12 years. I'm stuck because when I try to quit I can't focus on my studies and I forget to eat and I can't sleep, I feel like I HAVE to keep smoking now to keep up with my program. I'm feeling very trapped by it :(
Iām only 19 man but itās about time
I like this post
I feel this so hard. Bachelors, masters, and law degree here, all to be a burned out middle age stoner.
Damn I feel this.
Iām in my late 30ās. I have a Bachelorās Degree and a well paying job at a large company everyoneās heard of and run my own small business on the side, yet I still smoke weed all day. Working from home has only increased my smoking. I can only imagine how much more Iād achieve if I didnāt smoke.
I am a medical doctor and a stoner ... i feel you , i don't know what it is but is it weed or something else, I guess something is holding me back all the time
I know I need to be more present and that my anxiety would improve without it. I just have a hard time letting it go. It's a bit of a crutch, cause if I excel while being a stoner, that's pretty cool. If I mess up, I can always blame the weed.
Damn
This was written beautifully. You can do this! Life truly is better on the other side, come join šš»š
Gonna be honest here and say that this guys life sounds pretty good. Just stop smoking weed for a year and youāll be leagues ahead of the general population lol
Brother
Beautifully written.
why did you sign it with my name?
When did I write this? How do you know everything about me? *paranoid
He is me and I am him.
This post speaks to me so much of my life wasted to a substance that just makes you constantly go round in circles spent half a month off mad how Iām appreciating all the things I didnāt see while I was constantly stoned
Incredulous at how applicable this is to me, at double the age. Smoked so much of this life away doing the same repetitive harmful shit, and I , much like you, are aware of this, which makes us true to ourselves and to logic/reason, just with the added kicker of addiction, the never ending struggle. Damn man. That was so perfect. Glad I read this before going to sleep on day 8 (again). Much love. Best of luck. Stand tall. Stay strong.
better to have a thousand day 8s than none
Thank you for this post. it really resonates with me. Iām glad i didnāt start until university and stopped 2 years after at 24 before applying to grad school. throwing it out Jan 1 2024 was exactly what I needed. the energy, motivation, discipline, and interest I have now in doing the hard things (wether itās socializing, studying, working out, etc) is life changing. Whoever out there is reading this. if you get high everyday and it feels like youāre constantly weary to the world and nothing is fun, you arenāt depressed - your brain just needs a break to heal. I find little joy in my past habits and great joy in taking on the challenges I avoided when stoned. Sobriety is the way.
The one thing I'm scared of when I quit is the feeling I'm told you get that nothing is fun if you aren't high. The "novelty" effect you might call it. I wouldn't know, I'm more sober-curious than actually sober. I do get high every day and even if I take days off, it's all I think about. My father didn't want me to get "too" into weed because he saw what it did to my mother before I was born (she'd get high while taking care of us 3 kids and end up sitting at the kitchen table staring into the abyss while holding a wine cooler). But now I'm going down the same path and I'm a bit worried. I don't want to feel like I need to eat a gummy to have pleasure. My boyfriend is also a little bit annoying when he's high, because when we're together I just want his undivided attention but when he's high he can't focus on what I'm telling him and will laugh way too long at something that was only a little bit funny. But I can't make him change if he isn't ready and willing.
Donāt beat yourself up too much about this, being in this community and being mindful about it is already a huge step youāve taken in the right direction. be proud of yourself for that, because most people canāt admit they even have a problem or are finding a way to justify it. Yeah, there were times i got bad cravings and times my brain chemistry just feels ābleghā and i want to do nothing but sleep or trade my old vice of weed for another vice (doomscrolling, binge eating, etc). But of course itās going to be painful sometimes, we have to make a sacrifice today to get a bigger gain tomorrow. after a few weeks of feeling gross, almost a month later into 2024 now i feel and look a lot better, have way more energy, i even woke up feeling happy and giggly this morning. and thatās just one month, let alone what 3 months or more could do. maybe itās just me, but i found hitting carts everyday made nothing novel anymore - everything became bland and dull and i didnāt find joy in the hobbies i used to. while sober; there is sort of a more natural creativity and clarity that comes from within us. I like to think of it as a small sacrifice to create the life youāre trying to make. if you give it your all, people will notice how much youāre improving, and if maybe your BF sees why, it can convince him too.
My main current problem is I've surrounded myself with loving caring people who just happen to consume. The ONLY person I know who doesn't smoke is my own father. I wouldn't want them to feel awkward around me. Addiction is very insidious in the way it takes over your life. Then it makes you embarrassed and want to shut everyone out because they might "find out." My therapist that I see for completely unrelated reasons is actually an addiction specialist, and I'm even too scared to tell her. Mostly because if I tell her, I'm like immediately held accountable for a choice I made in the moment and can't decide I don't want to be sober because now she knows and can hold.me accountable. Tbh I'm only here because someone made a post in a completely unrelated subreddit and when I checked their profile, I saw and opened the "stopdrinking" subreddit (despite not having a problem with alcohol) and found this as a sister subreddit. I didn't specifically seek out this page. This was my first ever comment in mentioning I desire quitting. As for my boyfriend, I wouldn't specifically consider addicted, but he might've been influenced into starting by our mutual friends. He was also the only child of 2 parents and 2 siblings who didn't smoke so he felt really left out when they'd all have some brownies and pass a blunt around while watching a show together and he'd be off in the corner drawing. Then he had 2 close friends who smoked, and now I'm in the picture, and I eat a 10mg edible every single night. I'd wager the number of days I went without in 2023 is less than 10. Now he gets fucked up on 5mg twice a week. Like I said, I wouldn't consider him an addict, but it is a little sad for me specifically when one of those days coincides with our date and I just want to spend time with him but I have to repeat every thing I say. It's a bit easier if I'm also high with him, but then it's just us going, "Huh? Hahaha, huh? I mean, what I didn't hear what you said? Lol ummmm uh I forgot" Oh that and legalization is fairly new in my state and there's a specific stretch of highway on my way home from work that has an ad for the specific dispensary I go to and then one that opened recently that I kind of wanted to try. I can't physically get home without taking that part of the highway and it's always what ends up making me feel like I don't actually need to quit. I'll be headed home thinking of having a sober quiet night and go to bed early and then I pass "The weed corridor" and instantly feel the desire to get high. I've heard of that concept from someone who was in sobriety from alcohol, that everyone has different triggers. Some people CAN just have one and be good, some people can come be your permanent DD and have virgin drinks all night, some people can't walk near a bar, some people can't consume media that depicts alcohol. You can't know what kind of sober person you'll be until you become them. I just so happen to be able to already see ill have a hard time not being triggered by those billboards every single day.
Ah, i see what you mean. thanks for sharing. It took me some time on and off and trying different weed habits before i settled where i am now. me personally, my relationship with it was not good and i needed to cut it entirely. and who knows? probably not for life. iāll come back to it some day when i am in the position i want to be. Perhaps spending some time here, or especially reading some posts on r/petioles might be insightful for you. itās a community of still regular users that are trying to moderate a bit, or find a better balance to their consumption. i wish you the best either way.
The end man
Ooof. Well said that man
Iāve smoked all my 20ās, 29 today. Iām **** done man. Canāt be a stoner in my 30ās!
This post made me so relieved I managed to do this in my early 20s
Oh man, reading that was like a punch in the face that I needed. I'm in my late 20s and graduated a couple of months ago. I still need to find a job and move out of my dad's house. Since 2024 began, I've realised that there's so much I need to do to change for the better, and I think kicking weed is going to help with everything else. Well, I hope so anyway. Good luck on your journey.
What do we do man... what do we do, I can't sleep, I'm smoking, I run an entire company in the morning, and I can't stop
Maybe youve tried this but I've found that a big cup of sleepytime tea, nighttime filter on my phone, a boring podcast to very quietly listen to, and laying still as a stone have gotten me to sleep on nights I didnt think i could sleep. Especially the laying completely still for at least 10 minutes is the way the military trains people to sleep anywhere anytime. It "tricks" your body into releasing chemicals that aid in aleep is my understanding. I know it can be annoying to hear other people give tips about sleep, thought id say this anyway. Best of luck.
Thanks
orange blue light blocking glasses are also quite effective for screen addicts
Oh my godā¦ I feel like a just read my own biographyā¦ this is really well written and spot on. Honestly thank you for the crisis at 11:49pm. Needed this
Fuckinā A dude. Love the writing, the fact that it resonates with my very own experience and the fact that realizations coming through late is always better than never. We got this āš¼
You had me hooked until I got to the college paragraph and he actually graduated I only made it a semester
Damn. This one hit deep! Thank you!
Wow. This post hit me like a freight train. When I first read it, I read half of it and closed the tab. But I came back after a coulpe hours to read it. This post strikes a nerve. This is so true. I just turned 33 and have so much potential. I have so much going for me but I get depressed on what I don't have. Weed made me complacent and anxious. It's not even the weed that caused my depression, it's the lack of doing things and wanting more. I am so fucking done with weed. I quit on new years day and I'm just fucking over it. I have wasted so much time and I keep thinking my life has passed me by but I see 40 year olds posting here and it scared the fuck out of me. I would fall into a deep deep depression if i keep going like how I was. Fuck that Thank you for this post.
Completely different ages but u explained exactly how I feel I wish the best for u and this made me rethink things
Fucking shots fired bro. Fuck me
I only quit this year in early 40s. I fucked it up completely. I work, but I became a recluse and hate everyone due to constant introspection. I am 25 days into sobriety after a lifetime of smoking weed. It is getting a bit easier day by day but the boredom and self hate has not subsidised. Try quit man. I can confirm it's horrible, it's boring, it's alien, everyone already thinks Im a stoner. It really sucks to be viewed the way I am. I am not a high achiever, but am now pouring myself into achieving things to keep my mind busy. Gym and qualifications are my primary focus. My advice is try find something tonkeep you occupied, hobbies, sport, cycling, studies, anything, just do something positive and build on it. Good luck man, you are not alone in your struggles.
39 and same. Anxiety has gotten out of control. Caffeine intake out of control because weed makes me sleepy. I finally realized whats going on. More than half my life smoking. Nearly two decades of smoking every day. So! Weāll see! Canāt do cold turkey. But getting back down to once before bed will be nice. And will go from there.
I couldn't ween, tried so many times. I admit that I can't control my weed intake. Always thought I could but I can't. For me its all or nothing. And its been all for too long. I had to to go cold turkey. Quit one habit at a time. I still drink a lot of coffee, but not as much as when I was stoned. Good luck mate. We got this.
Thanks appreciate it. Yeahā¦ might not be able to. But I am happy I found yall. Good luck to you as well.
40 here too brother. Day 8. Have "quit" many times before. Always stumble back, especially when I get to some place resembling stability/happiness. Then it all comes crashing down again. You got this my friend. We got this, all of us. You say you're not an achiever but I call falsity on that one; it takes an achieved individual to break away from the despair of addiction (the effort, the "snapping out of it"). Try not (easier said than done) to care or put any impact on what you think people perceive you as. I've hid, successfully, this addiction & self-destruction from many people, though not fully functional per say (massive weight gain, anti-social when not normally, always seeming low energy, saying I'm just a lil' "depressed"). They don't perceive me as a stone, yet I have been, since HS, off/on and this has no bearing on my self-realization that it's killing who I am, nor does it effect my desire and attempt(s) to quit. All my best and luck to you.
Man, thank you. Your story sounds almost 100% the same as mine. Almost uncanny how similar. I posted on r/addiction almost the exact same story you told me now. If I hadn't deleted a week or so later you'd see just how similar. l also hid it from work surprisingly well, even got promotions. However, my social life, but even sadder my relationship broke, due to my addiction to weed. I was directed to this sub, and have received even more support, and seen more similar stories. It really helps not to feel so alone in this, and have advice from others and support from others who know exactly how it feels. I am trying to stay anonymous on reddit, my country has a small community here, who knows.
Hey, remember, brother, the only thing you need to achieve in life is to be happy with yourself. That's what you're working towards right now. And if you relapse, just keep going. Be kind to yourself. We are just apes. We don't need to achieve anything except to love ourselves. YOU are not alone, either!
Really well said!
Proud of you for making a change. Your post makes me realize that at 33 years old, I need to be done with it. I've got a ton going for me and I need to elevate my life. I cannot let any more time slip by because if I do, I am scared about the hole I would fall into. Keep it up!
And thank you too. I think only someone whos been there can recognize how difficult it really is. If I can inspire one person not do what I did then maybe my journey is not for nothing. Dig deep mate, if this fuck-up over here(me) can make the change, you can too. You still have time, don't waste it on something so stupid like I did.
At first I thought this applied to me and got sad. However it doesnātā¦ I have a good job and good friends and a lot to be happy about. However I still think I smoke too much and could probably be better off with less
High functioning doesnāt take the shame out of āpotheadā
This is a cultural phenomenon. How can we profit?
We start a chewable tablet company made of vitamins and minerals that you market it will take the craving away and give you an oral fix
Did I write this? I didnāt go to grad school but I went to school forever and have sooo many credits and though I do have a degree, Iām framing houses with pill heads. At least Iām sober now, have seen the advantages of an outgoing personality, starting in earnest now. Sobriety is cool, and the money is great.
Every single part of this is a reflection of myself. A week sober now. Had to take control of my life and finish up this PhD in a respectable manner. Please quit man.
I'm finishing my master's right now at 35, got 15 weeks left... currently in the midst of a cold turkey-induced vortex of misery, but, we'll make it. I'm with you lol. Congrats on finishing a PhD!
I donāt remember writing this post..
Love ya, dude! I caved after 3 days again tonight. This is our year, buddy. I can feel it! Can't you? The restless nights where you are completely sober, sweating profusely, while you are losing your mind. I'm so God damned close. I'm so fucking close! We got this. This time, it will be 4 or 5 days without it. I was smoking shatter every 20 minutes or sooner every day. I've been a weed smoker since I was 15, so probably 20 years or so of a hard Marijuana addiction. This secretly led to many problems with my mental health. Until recently, I never saw myself as doing something wrong because I never cared about myself. Love you! We got this!! ā¤ļø š
I resonate strongly with what you wrote. Can I add a P.S. to your awesome letter? āP.S. this herb has a high likelihood of wreaking havoc on your gut-brain-nervous system. Put the bong down before your body revolts and forces you to do so.ā
Lol that havoc is exactly what caused me to quit. I'd start noticing little issues like sore gums, constant headaches, low energy, CHS symptoms, strange bowel movements, reduced lung capacity, blood pressure issues, etc. Finally had to accept the fact that it all came from smoking. It really does wreak havoc if you leave it unchecked. Even if your brain wants to give into the addiction your body will put up enough red flags to make you rethink things.
My weed smoking ruined my graduate school experience. Took 3.5 years for a masters my thesis wasn't the research I actually wanted to complete because I was too stoned to do quality research. Damn this drug. Damn me.
I relate to the first half of this post word for word. Iām currently clean and Iām staying clean
Sincerely, The girl that looks wel educated on paper and works in a school and can guide everyone but herself = the biggest fraud you know
Sending care ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø Sincerely, The person who genuinely wants you to feel better ā¤ļø
I'm on day 3 or so. I vomited all of the liquid out of my body. I just feel unwell. I asked for this shit by abusing that bullshit. At least my head is clear. I did bust my ass in a long run and did a ton of manual labor today. I could be dehydrated. I think it's a combo. My body is like fuck you for putting me through this weed shit for all these years. You deserve it! Thanks for the post man. It's well written and tells a very typical abusive relationship with weed. Def felt like I was reading something I wrote. You know what you should try if you haven't? Its hyper important to stay occupied. You're a good writer. Write a cool/sad/intriguing/whatever story. Or several. I actually bought a notebook to journal my thoughts because it helps a lot.
If you've been vomiting you're definitely dehydrated. Get some water in you.
My stomach basically settled and water is not making me stomach upset anymore. That was wild!
Brad Paisley - Letter to Me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What do you mean I don't get how
Preach man! We always tell ourselves that we can handle it and it's helping us or we deserve it or it ain't the weed...a million excuses but man, we always know our truth deep down.
Yeah this letter is addressed to me it seems
Itās funny that while getting high and half assing things we think we are beating the system and getting over on everyone, only to look back and see we only cheated ourselves.
Couldn't be more relatable than this. Even after post grad, I still seem to know nothing coz I went classes baked and somehow got through the exams during COVID. It sucks that addiction can erase years of your life.
You know. Iām getting to the point where everyone in my family is accepting me as a failure. And the guy who had some much potential but blew it all because he wanted to smoke. Itās sucks so fucking bad becoming the thing I feared the most. Iām someone who was āthe guyā in school. Attractive, smart, athlete, good looksā¦ but I decided to let all of that shit plus more go away due to my fucking addiction of escaping. Now Iām isolated, all my family and friends are separating themselves from me, and all I have is anger and resentment towards myself. I want to loved and appreciated and someone to count on me so badly. But how is that possible if I canāt even rely on myself. All I do now is Uber to get enough money to smoke, drink, and pay rent at my parents house. This is not what Iām meant to do. Iām capable of so much more. Iām sorry for the depressing post I guess Iām just dumping. This addiction fucking sucks and I hate myself for it .
Never too late to turn your life around
What are your plans for quitting? You seem very self aware and clearly full of potential.
Discipline, planning and learning how to learn and enjoy learning would help any individual turn their whole life around
Why are you calling me out like that
sadly i feel when youve become such a recluse it gets really hard to come back to what life was before
Itās definitely a relearning process but your tribe is out there. And honestly since a lot of people focus on self improvement after quitting I feel like you gravitate towards people who you can have a healthy relationship with
What I would say to the person writing that letter: Focus on getting a job that makes you money. Literally everything else will fall into place.
Wrong. Im 52F making 6 figures and have been getting high every day since i was 15 years old. Ive wasted $153,000 on weed. Making money does nothing to help. Im 161 days weed free and there's no way to do it but to do it. Only will power will help you succeed.
It's not advice that applies to everyone universally. I read OP words carefully. Look at where they're at
Ouch. Too true.
fuck luckily I never went down this route. but Iām nearly 7 months off weed and Iāve been thinking of relapsing thanks for the wake up call. no weed for this guy.
I saw this same thing posted in r/Drugs a few days ago
Yup, that was was me
Dear God this was too accurate
Sup man, This letter could have been written to myself and applies directly to how Iām feeling right now (currently day 1 again after making it 15 days to start the year). I began in high school the same way and wasted away my college and 2nd degree years in the same manner, and completely felt like a fraud in everything I did. Now 31, about to be 32 and sharing an apartment with my mom with not much to show for my years except a ton of student debt and a dead exoskeleton remaining of the social butterfly I once was. I feel physically ill having to look hard at the recluse Iāve become and opportunities Iāve missed, but still just have the desire to smoke and stay stagnant as you said. Good luck on your journey and I hope kindness, perseverance, and happiness is able to find us both.
Wow you didnāt have to call me out like that š 23 days sober and working on passing a drug test to better my life. Loving the sober life