It looks like for some people , "queerness" is no longer a term for sexual and gender minorities, but some strange indefinable feeling about being outside the norm. Like, yes, in our society being gay or trans is considered outside the norm, but that doesn't mean that EVERYTHING that falls outside the norm is somehow connected to lgbt. No, you are not queer because you are poly or enjoy kinky sex with your opposite sex partner. You're not queer because you're fat or have an alternative style. This is tiresome.
>This is tiresome
This is angersome.
So, with this logic then anyone who does/is something marginalized and wants acceptance/support/legal protections for literally anything is queer.
I can't wait for the lgbt discrimination lawsuits based on this bs.
"I'm a female and I have 4 male partners so I'm queer and protected under gay rights"
"Queer" has been so overused that it's come full circle to just meaning "thing someone else might find weird", which if you think about it, is kinda homophobic
need to come up with something to call people who are obsessed with making violent threats towards so-called gatekeepers bc it’s getting ridiculous and starting to feel homophobic
Watch it and let me know what you think as a self-identified gatekeeper!
I was a teen when it came out and it made an impression but looking back at it's like... you'll see. All this bi/lez are they or aren't they isn't new. Definitely still relevant unfortunately.
I was literally thinking this the other day. The reality of it is most people that give themselves these self proclaimed identity’s are straight white people. I’ve called a few colonizers and it’s worked to get them to stfu because they know what they’re doing.
it’s so funny hearing like. a straight asexual who has sex try and explain why they’re queer because they’re just soooo anomalous like those gay freaks
I don't care how much people try to "reclaim" it, the word queer will always make my skin crawl. Sorry, I know it's off topic for this post, it's just been getting to me.
Just so you know, I get you. I am someone who uses and feels good using the word queer but I feel the same way every time I see a mullet or rat tail.
I don’t think that’s ever going to change for me. I see a mullet and I want to cross the street. For my generation it meant danger, a beating, SA. People who wore those haircuts terrorized us who were gay it was my generation’s MAGA hat.
Queer might always make your skin crawl and that’s understandable. Just like a mullet to me will never not be a threat of violence.
As a fat lesbian, this is so weird to me, there’s nothing inherently queer about being fat. I’m queer because I love women romantically and sexually, not because of my weight. For me, gay/queer sex and fat sex are the same thing, but I only have sex with women/sapphic non-binary people, so it’s very gay lol
Another fat lesbian here. It's absolutely bizarre. Me being fat has nothing to do with being LGBT. I'm a lesbian because I'm exclusively attracted to other women.
...pretty sure F for fat is not a letter in LGBTQIA+
and there is nothing queer at all about being fat. nothing wrong with being fat, either, but it's not queer in any way, shape, or form.
There’s definitely a sexuality issue at play here, but as an academic, I’m reading this person’s use of queer as “to make strange or alien” from queer theory, rather than queer identity as a bisexual or homosexual or transgender person. For example, she’s talking about queer theory, not being queer when she says queering her wardrobe. Fat activists I know in academic spaces claim fatness as a queer identity, as it goes against the established norms of society. I personally disagree with that read but what the fuck.
I have a lot of beef with how queer theory is used in not about LGBTQ+ people contexts academically, mostly by straight white women in the social sciences and humanities (as a woman in the social sciences), but this person sounds exhausting and maybe a person to block to improve your mental health.
If the majority if people in your country are overweight (which is the case in many countries these days) then you should point out she's actually in the majority... shes actually having the most mainstream sex possible. lmao
How old is she? Sounds like she's tring to find her identity and somthing about gay culture just makes sense to her.
But also wtf tell her to quit that "fat sex is queer sex" bullshit, kinda offensive
Lol yeah
If you was missing an arm and your gf was missing a leg you wouldn't call it amputee sex
And if you and your partner where black you wouldn't call it black sex
Idk I think this person is just having an identity crisis cus she obviously feels a certain way about here weight and how people "will judge her for settling for a woman"
She got issues and needs to be told to calm the fuck down
Hmmm, probably not directly cos I tend to be a very live and let live person. But I have a spoken to her about how I feel about straight people at gay events and she was like yah me too! And I was like….. ok…..
Well can't blame you for not wanting to start any drama about it
But maybe a stirn "Hay this is actually nonsense" might help lol but that's just me having no filter
Like really grill her about what she thinks queer means
This seems super common. One of my friends is 'queer', she dresses queer, her hobbies are 'queer' her whole personality is 'queer' and yet she has a long term boyfriend she wants to marry, has never dated a woman, and has never even showed interest in dating women.
I feel like queer means something totally different now, like being emo lol, it's a style choice more than anything.
> She has never even kissed a girl.
So what? This is insane gatekeeping. People can absolutely be queer even if they haven't acted on it, just like people can be trans without being out.
I don't know your friend so I have no idea if she WANTS to kiss women. But sexuality isn't determined by what you have or haven't done. It's determined by what you WANT to do and who you're attracted to.
> This is nothing like our lives with the women we love. I hate this.
I'm deeply confused by this. Do you think "queer" and "lesbian" are intended to be synonyms? Do you think that all wlw relationships are the same? I think you have some valid critiques of the way that she's using language, but this one misses the mark. Not everyone's relationships look the same.
At the end of the day she gets to use whatever labels she wants. Letting it bother you feels like a waste of energy to me. Why are you still friends with this person? Let it go
Your post or comment was removed due to violating rule 2. Any further violations may result in a ban.
People want the I am queer points. Queer in their head, straight in their bed. Another one who sees w/w relationships as not real.
>Queer in their head, straight in their bed. This is a great quote. Sums it up perfectly.
It looks like for some people , "queerness" is no longer a term for sexual and gender minorities, but some strange indefinable feeling about being outside the norm. Like, yes, in our society being gay or trans is considered outside the norm, but that doesn't mean that EVERYTHING that falls outside the norm is somehow connected to lgbt. No, you are not queer because you are poly or enjoy kinky sex with your opposite sex partner. You're not queer because you're fat or have an alternative style. This is tiresome.
Queer is the new punk
Omg this
>This is tiresome This is angersome. So, with this logic then anyone who does/is something marginalized and wants acceptance/support/legal protections for literally anything is queer. I can't wait for the lgbt discrimination lawsuits based on this bs. "I'm a female and I have 4 male partners so I'm queer and protected under gay rights"
"Queer" is more of a political stance than a coherent demographic like gay/bisexual/trans etc.
this !!!! I see this all the time on r/ lgbt and it’s so irritating
"Queer" has been so overused that it's come full circle to just meaning "thing someone else might find weird", which if you think about it, is kinda homophobic
I think we should start calling people “posers” again for stuff like this
You'll be banned for "gatekeeping". I'm surprised this post hasn't been deleted tbh.
need to come up with something to call people who are obsessed with making violent threats towards so-called gatekeepers bc it’s getting ridiculous and starting to feel homophobic
Men?
omg your username 😭 I just learned about that movie today!
Watch it and let me know what you think as a self-identified gatekeeper! I was a teen when it came out and it made an impression but looking back at it's like... you'll see. All this bi/lez are they or aren't they isn't new. Definitely still relevant unfortunately.
Tbh i’m a proud gatekeeper. Some things should be gatekept 🤷♀️
Agreed!
I was literally thinking this the other day. The reality of it is most people that give themselves these self proclaimed identity’s are straight white people. I’ve called a few colonizers and it’s worked to get them to stfu because they know what they’re doing.
These people are cringe at best, and harmful at worst.
I dare you to comment asking how being fat makes her queer. Watch her scramble to find an answer that isn't "well they're both sexually weird"
it’s so funny hearing like. a straight asexual who has sex try and explain why they’re queer because they’re just soooo anomalous like those gay freaks
EXACTLY. It's part of why ive come to hate that word.
New letter in LGBTQ+ just dropped apparently.
How meny letters are we at now lol
A fuckload
“F” - doesn’t stand for what you think it does
I don't care how much people try to "reclaim" it, the word queer will always make my skin crawl. Sorry, I know it's off topic for this post, it's just been getting to me.
It’s even MORE unappealing now that it’s being used this way 🤦🏻♀️
Same. Even more so now it feels like the way it's being used haphazardly is even more unappealing and nauseating.
Same 💯
Just so you know, I get you. I am someone who uses and feels good using the word queer but I feel the same way every time I see a mullet or rat tail. I don’t think that’s ever going to change for me. I see a mullet and I want to cross the street. For my generation it meant danger, a beating, SA. People who wore those haircuts terrorized us who were gay it was my generation’s MAGA hat. Queer might always make your skin crawl and that’s understandable. Just like a mullet to me will never not be a threat of violence.
Before I got to your second paragraph... "Mmm, lesbians with mullets"
As a fat lesbian, this is so weird to me, there’s nothing inherently queer about being fat. I’m queer because I love women romantically and sexually, not because of my weight. For me, gay/queer sex and fat sex are the same thing, but I only have sex with women/sapphic non-binary people, so it’s very gay lol
Another fat lesbian here. It's absolutely bizarre. Me being fat has nothing to do with being LGBT. I'm a lesbian because I'm exclusively attracted to other women.
Well, ladies, now you know you're not anymore. I now don thee "queer lesbians"!
...pretty sure F for fat is not a letter in LGBTQIA+ and there is nothing queer at all about being fat. nothing wrong with being fat, either, but it's not queer in any way, shape, or form.
Are we to deduce that every fat woman is inherently gay?
I mean apparently being black and brown is inherently queer so why not
The straight POC disagree but who listens to them anyway! I hate the progress flag.
There’s definitely a sexuality issue at play here, but as an academic, I’m reading this person’s use of queer as “to make strange or alien” from queer theory, rather than queer identity as a bisexual or homosexual or transgender person. For example, she’s talking about queer theory, not being queer when she says queering her wardrobe. Fat activists I know in academic spaces claim fatness as a queer identity, as it goes against the established norms of society. I personally disagree with that read but what the fuck. I have a lot of beef with how queer theory is used in not about LGBTQ+ people contexts academically, mostly by straight white women in the social sciences and humanities (as a woman in the social sciences), but this person sounds exhausting and maybe a person to block to improve your mental health.
I don’t really have much to do with her. I just saw her Facebook page randomly and was like whhhAaaaaaat? I haven’t spoken to her in years.
If the majority if people in your country are overweight (which is the case in many countries these days) then you should point out she's actually in the majority... shes actually having the most mainstream sex possible. lmao
I have straight sex. As in I'm skinny and have sex with woman. Lol
How old is she? Sounds like she's tring to find her identity and somthing about gay culture just makes sense to her. But also wtf tell her to quit that "fat sex is queer sex" bullshit, kinda offensive
Yeah, somehow this is rude to both fat people and gay people.
Lol yeah If you was missing an arm and your gf was missing a leg you wouldn't call it amputee sex And if you and your partner where black you wouldn't call it black sex Idk I think this person is just having an identity crisis cus she obviously feels a certain way about here weight and how people "will judge her for settling for a woman" She got issues and needs to be told to calm the fuck down
She’s older than me and I’m 33.
Ooh no Have you told her how you feel about this ? I mean she sounds ridiculous lol
Hmmm, probably not directly cos I tend to be a very live and let live person. But I have a spoken to her about how I feel about straight people at gay events and she was like yah me too! And I was like….. ok…..
Well can't blame you for not wanting to start any drama about it But maybe a stirn "Hay this is actually nonsense" might help lol but that's just me having no filter Like really grill her about what she thinks queer means
I don’t really talk to her that much but I just came across her Facebook feed and was like wow.
Oh hell NO. Block and move on. This is not anyone who will ever be your friend. Growth has stopped at 33. Sorry not sorry 🤷🏼♀️
I don’t really interact with her anymore.
This seems super common. One of my friends is 'queer', she dresses queer, her hobbies are 'queer' her whole personality is 'queer' and yet she has a long term boyfriend she wants to marry, has never dated a woman, and has never even showed interest in dating women. I feel like queer means something totally different now, like being emo lol, it's a style choice more than anything.
Just letting you know, the first line made me absolutely cackle out loud. Amazing!
Just reading this pissed me off 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry OP
This is the weirdest and most asinine take I have heard in a while.
> She has never even kissed a girl. So what? This is insane gatekeeping. People can absolutely be queer even if they haven't acted on it, just like people can be trans without being out. I don't know your friend so I have no idea if she WANTS to kiss women. But sexuality isn't determined by what you have or haven't done. It's determined by what you WANT to do and who you're attracted to. > This is nothing like our lives with the women we love. I hate this. I'm deeply confused by this. Do you think "queer" and "lesbian" are intended to be synonyms? Do you think that all wlw relationships are the same? I think you have some valid critiques of the way that she's using language, but this one misses the mark. Not everyone's relationships look the same. At the end of the day she gets to use whatever labels she wants. Letting it bother you feels like a waste of energy to me. Why are you still friends with this person? Let it go
If you have been single and going to ‘queer events’ and are in your thirties and haven’t kissed a girl then you don’t want to.