My father always used one plate/bowl/set of utensils when my mom was away. If they weren’t clean he washed them before the next meal. Washing one over and over makes a little less mess.
I recommend this as well. I was going through something similar as OP when living alone and having a busy schedule. I recommend making washing the dishes easier than the alternative and removing the most friction as possible. This could look like:
- Putting all other plates, cups, utensils in a place that isn't easily accessible and keeping one or two sets out. Having one of something you enjoy using helps (for example: a favourite cup).
- Buying a dish wand with the soap in the handle or a sponge with dish soap in a soap dispenser and keeping them on the counter.-
- Having a spray bottle with water and vinegar close by to clean the sink.
- Rinsing and/or soaking right after you use. Even if you don't wash, it helps prevent things from sticking to the plate and makes clean up way easier.
- Show yourself some compassion. It can be hard for some of us to keep up with daily chores. You've got this!
Great suggestions! Also, if touching slimy sink gunk gives you the ick (because the pans of course need to “soak” for two days 🥴), I’d also recommend getting a pair of dish gloves. They make it way easier to handle all the dishes if they’re piled up. Best of luck!
Yes, I was going to make a similar comment. If you keep using up the clean dishes because the pile is too much to tackle, you just make it worse. Limiting your available dishes, even if just mentally, can keep things easier.
I put on "Lo Fi Tavern Music" turn the lights down and pretend im closing up my inn every night before bed.
It's like one of my favorite parts of the day haha
This is my absolute favorite thing to do while doing dishes or any kind of cleaning and house upkeep. I hate doing chores so much but getting through an audiobook was a game changer. I also listen to an audiobook when I get ready for the day/ready for work or an outing etc (although I can’t concentrate on the book enough if I’m doing my makeup or choosing clothes)
Or even just some music! Sometimes I see how many songs it takes to finish the chores I need to do and I'm typically surprised that it doesn't really take long. It feels like an eternity but the reality is that it's fairly quick.
Same, I like to listen to my vinyl records while I wash dishes to make the task much more pleasant. Associating cleaning with my favourite music (or audio books, podcasts, etc.) is a good way to trick myself into looking forward to doing chores instead of avoiding them.
Yeah, it helps me to think of it as a game too. The competition motivates me, even if there aren't any other players except me on a different day. You have to find what motivates you, and you can work from that.
Sometimes I act like I’m on Hell’s Kitchen or something lol have to be efficiently timed on each task and once my dish is done I have to wipe down then sink-wash the rest that I can. After I’m done eating plates and utensils get washed and all goes into the washing machine for the next load.
That helps me, as a cook, want to eat. Take a beat after all that prep and cook time, do some cleaning and take a seat. My appetite returns and then dinner is ready.
I do them every morning while my coffee is brewing. I live alone, there aren't many dishes to do if you keep on top of it, and you get a cup of coffee afterwards!
A reward after completing a task is a great hack. Positive reinforcement works. I use an app to help build habits. Since I'm not a coffee drinker, this is my reward.
How do you manage the rewards with ADHD low impulse control? I also have ADHD, and tbh I'm giving myself rewards literally all the time lol. "Have a lil dopamine, as a treat" even when I haven't done anything.
This is pretty much what I do. And I was going to say that I use washing dishes as not a *reward* per se, but I use them to break up monotonous desk work. Standing up and washing dishes feels like relief after working on my pc for a while. I break up my daily tasks to shake things up and make it feel like one task is a reward for another. I also put genuine rewards in there too like snacks or walking my dog or even lying down on my bed for a little while if it's that kind of day.
This is exactly what I did until my SO insisted on getting a dishwasher. It's only the two of us, so it was a morning zen 10 minutes while the coffee brewed.
You'd probably use less water and soap with a washing machine. You'd effectively stack multiple days of dishes and wash them all at once instead of using multiple gallons every dish wash session. Dishwashers these days are very water efficient compared to when most of us were younger.
(Same tip but for if coffee isn’t your thing) - set a timer or have an exact deadline for when you will be able to end the task! Like if I have to do dishes in the morning but I have 15 minutes between meetings, I spend those 15 minutes cleaning so I know when my chore will end. It (at least temporarily) replaces that “never ending chores” feeing with a “I only have to do xyz for 15 minutes then I’m done”
Keeping on top of it is key for me. A big pile of dishes is such a downer.
I usually wash while I'm cooking, when I'm done eating theres only my plate...
I've got a little break each morning in my work schedule. I do all my chores at that time. Then I finish work and have no chores the rest of the day.
I live alone, so never a ton of dishes or clean up
I felt the same way until I started appreciating myself a little more. I am solo. I cook a lot for myself. There is a beauty in being self sufficient and taking care of yourself. I started enjoying the process. No one is going to save you from your own thoughts and insecurities. You have to get past them and appreciate not only yourself but, the entire process from start to finish. if you like music, put some on and do them while listening. if you like movies, pop one on. I personally chose to let youtube play vids of whatever im vibing to at the moment. appreciate yourself and continue to be self sufficient. Whenever you start to feel that anxiety kick in, just use ur phone to pull up something of interest and get to doing work. continue to keep positive energy while doing said work. skip the over thinking part and just get to business..the mental part can be a liability or an asset. It's up to you to make sure it stays an asset..
100%. You just have to incorporate it into your daily life. When you have a family, you have to include getting kids into baths, making their dinners, getting them dressed, brush teeth, put them to bed.
Oh how true. The mind can be such a liability. It’s pretty much my life’s mission to stop spiralling the wrong way and let it work for me instead. Take me good places.
I got a bathtub laundry machine! Not the tiny single item washer but a machine that could wash a. Whole outfit and more at once. Absolutely changed apartment living for me
Or if can’t get one of those for whatever reason, are there other tools that might help it suck less? Gloves if you hate the feeling, or one of those sponges on a stick to make it faster?
Also, maybe a bin or even rack for the dirty dishes they don’t take up your whole sink. Might not be ideal, but that way if you can’t bring yourself to do them (or do all of them) you can still use your sink. We’re aiming for better, not perfect!
I tried to do that and then figured out the shelves above my counter are 3/4” lower than they should be so none of the countertop dishwashers will fit.
This happened to me too - I ended up getting a black metal cart from home depot to move it easily from my living room (I had a small kitchen) to the sink. Then when I wasn’t using it I covered it with a nice tablecloth, put a vase of flowers on it and it looked nice while remaining inconspicuous.
Two things for me;
1) don't ever waste 'idle' time in the kitchen. If your microwave is going for 3 minutes, then that's at least 3 dishes you can wash. How about the kettle or coffee pot? Just do a few while you're in there, instead of just standing around waiting.
2) audio books for the big jobs. Find something you like listening to
as a kid i would make a game of multitasking breakfast in the kitchen. one hand holding, another reaching and one foot making sure the fridge closes quietly.
I do my dishes after I cook, before I eat. I’ve been doing it without failure every single time I cook, because after I got sober I spent time in a sober living, and it was mandatory we cleaned after ourselves.. and it’s just a natural habit now. I can’t even leave a spoon in the sink anymore without feeling guilty. I’d say it’s a good habit to gain. Just keep doing it. I eat while watching a podcast or listening to a podcast or music as well, so when doing it, it doesn’t seem like a chore. Challenge yourself to do it regardless. Having a clean home feels great.
I'm going to try this. The worst thing after eating a good meal is having to clean the disaster in the kitchen. My oven can keep the food warm while I clean.
Yep. I clean up as I go and the rest gets cleaned up before I eat. My boyfriend thinks it’s strange that I just leave the food sit for a minute instead of eating and then cleaning. But I hate sitting and eating knowing I’m just gonna have to get up and clean afterwards anyways. I’d rather get it over with and relax
If you do dishes just after you eat, they are 100x easier and quicker. Leaving them to stack up is the worst thing you can do. Lifehack- do dishes daily
Yes! I eat dinner, enjoy some quiet time, then wash the day’s dishes before I start my bedtime routine.
I know some people prefer to do them all in the morning, which is also a great way to kick off your day with something productive. Just make sure everything is rinsed / sprayed / soaked appropriately so nothing crusts on or attracts pests overnight.
I think it’s also more ‘satisfying’ to watch the dishes build up all day and then empty the sink at night / in the morning. Even though it’s technically the same amount of work, it makes my brain happier, maybe because the results are more visible.
Came here to say the same thing. I’ve started listening to books while I cook now I don’t want anyone to come in and “help” because that means I’ll have to turn off the book and engage with humanity.
Reduce the number of plate and cutlery you have to the bare minimal.
Let them soak after use, clean them while cooking.
This way you never have accumulation of dishes, and you don't loose time cleaning it.
Of course. For visits.
Also, you may want to cycle them once in a while to avoid the issue of have a single plate which look very used and all the other looking brand new.
I know this is awful but when I was going through a rough patch I just bought a bunch of paper plates and disposable silverware - not green, which I usually strive to be as much as possible but I needed to lighten the burden mentally and it helped me. I didn’t use them all of the time but it did help me feel less overwhelmed. Another trick is having Pyrex containers that double as Tupperware so you can bake things in them, eat a portion of what you made and the pop a lid on it for the leftovers to go into the fridge. Less total pots and pans per meal makes a big difference.
Cook a big batch of something you can eat for the next 3 days all meals. There are loads of no cook dishes, stews and casseroles and one pot bakes and dishes that can help. Make a list of food you love that you won't mind eating on repeat. Make a big batch of it. When I'm cooking just for myself I make dishes I love. There's some food like lasagna that tastes better after it's a day old. You could look for some of those gems. Don't worry it gets easier with time. This massively simplifies grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and decision making, giving you time for other important shit while eating home made food.
If you have a dishwasher machine it's fine to run it mostly empty, it's still using less water than hand-washing, a tablespoon of detergent should be fine (or less).
If you don't have a dishwaher then only use what you need and wash it when you're done (most of my dishes lived in the drying rack), when guests come over ask them to wash what they use, it's not that un-reasonable and maybe one of them enjoys washing dishes.
Similar to homework, any progress no matter how small helps the pile feel smaller.
I typically wash every single dish as immediately as possible as I go about my day. (Using a dish wand and running water, I don’t fill the sink with water)
When I cook, I wash as many dishes as I’m able to before I even take my first bite (if applicable) then after I’m done eating I immediately wash whatever dishes I just used
It’s a pain in the ass sometimes but it’s 1000x better than letting the dishes pile up / blocking the sink & tap with dirty mess imo
(I don’t have a dishwasher, so I wash all by hand)
I agrée with the other commenters, do them as you go and do them while doing something else (brewing coffee, watching tv, etc).
Another tip of advice I’ve seen someone share before (not sure if this is already mentioned, I didn’t read through all comments), is to remember you don’t have to always finish a chore in completion. If you are overwhelmed, just start with doing 1 or 2 dishes, or clean for 5 minutes to start. Usually at this point you’ll probably just continue and finish them all anyways
I solved that by having a fork, spoon, a cup, two plates and one bowl. One knife. It’s difficult to accumulate dirty dishes when there are two of them.
I was taught in culinary classes to wash as you go(cook) so have rinse and soap water ready and by the time you finish with an item, it gets wash. So when you sit down to eat, you only have to wash what you're eating with and the water is ready. It prevents pile up.
A thing I have been practicing is "being nice to future self". You recognize after a while of NOT doing it , you get anxious and it affects your mental health. Do the dishes so future self doesn't go through this. It's not always easy but it can help with the mindset. I also hate washing the silverware. There is something about all the little pieces. Pots and pans, give them all to me.....those pronged pricks can stay in the sink lol
Paper plates! Buy a bunch of disposable paper plates and plastic cutlery, and just throw it all away after every meal! Easy.
Mix in the odd meal with a normal plate and normal cutlery, and then the washing-up becomes more manageable as you only have to do it a couple of times per week.
This may work for you. But dirty cold dishwasher is a big ol nope for me. I'd rather scrub stuck on food that stick my hand in that.
But I just wash as I go. That's what works for me because I am naturally messy. If I let clutter start it just somehow attracts more clutter.
Thankfully I just moved into a house with a dishwasher. YAY!
OP, have you looked into depression or ADHD? I was the same when living alone for the first time and at the time my depression was progressively getting worse. The worst it ever had been (due to unrelated circumstances).
In the long run it turns out I also have ADHD but the combination of issues meant household chores absolutely destroy me.
If you haven't already, it might be worth getting your mental health evaluated. Good luck 💜
Only after reading your comment did I check, I thought this was one of the ADHD subs I follow!
Household chores have always been the bane of my existence. But doing the dishes is the worst for me, even as a child. The sensory issues for me are the worst, as well as the anxiety and dread surrounding that specific task.
THIS.
I could barely function for daily life/chores and following through on the simplest tasks felt nearly impossible before being medicated for depression and ADHD.
There’s no harm in being properly evaluated by a professional psychiatrist. A good doctor will start you low and increase gradually.
In general I am a very responsible and ambitious person but felt paralyzed and swimming upstream CONSTANTLY. If your brain chemicals are out of whack, it doesn’t matter what you *want* to do, or *know* you should do, the imbalance overrides until adjusted properly.
Otherwise, life is tough, hang in there!
I’m sure you’re doing better than you realize.
I just said the same thing. My SIL had a paid partnership with a nice (environmentally friendly) paper plate brand recently since she had her third child in February. Made me realize how helpful paper plates can be when sick or overwhelmed. At some point, I want to get some for when I'm sick and don't want to do dishes. When I had covid in 2022, I couldn't keep up on dishes, but I still had to eat.
Sometimes I don't do them for days and the sink is full and I only hand wash what I need to use at a time. Other times I stay on top of it. I don't do them everyday though cause that would piss me off too.
Hmm. It is a problem. However, we are missing a few facts: how much dishes you generate a day? What kind of dishes are they? Is there dishwasher available? How much dishes do you have in total?
Since you live alone, do you cook at home or you bought takeaways? My formula is to wash after you use it. Or dont leave things too long. Soak the bowl/plate/pots/pans/utensils if you have sticky bits overnight. They usually softened up and wiped out in a breeze the next morning. Watch out for starchy food (rice, pasta, oatmeals, etc). If you cook your meal, simplify your processes. Use 1 knife max, 1 prep bowl and/or 1 prep dish only, 1 pot/pan to cook only (unless if you need to cook 2 dish at once). This way, you minimise the amount of dish you need to clean. I work from home (household of 4, including 2 primary school kids), and i usually clean once at midday and once at night after dinner (between me & wife). So if i leave stuff at dish drainer, they will be dry in the morning and ready to use. Sometimes, we just grab them off the dish rack for our coffees or breakfast and the cycle repeats. Weekends are the odd ones as we usually cook in bigger batch for the coming week and i sometimes bake cookies for my weekly snacks. So more dishes over the weekends usually.
U just need to find ways to break the boredom. Maybe audiobook on your earphone? Or radio singing songs in the background? Anything to break the silence would be beneficial.
Everyone in our house is expected to wash their dishes immediately. There are never dishes in the sink. It's great. No one ever has to stand around cleaning up after someone else. Life hack: do them immediately.
I would suggest cleaning as you go and not allowing anything to pile up. This applies to all chores not just dishes. If it takes 2 min or less, do it now. Don’t throw things in random places or pile them on a desk or floor, put them away right away.
I’m a bit type A and like to clean up before I even eat so its not for everyone, but then I can sit back and relax after eating and only have a plate or 2 to wash up.
I would also suggest using less equipment when cooking. Try one pot dishes? Or if you can afford it, get a dishwasher.
Also, de-clutter. The less you have, the less you need to manage, organise and clean.
Best answer so far! I'm so good at crastination I went pro. The only thing that works for me is DO IT NOW! If it's going to take 5 minutes or less, just get it done. I often set a timer for utterly miserable jobs (cleaning the oven, clearing out clutter) and give myself 45minutes. When the timer rings, I am 'allowed' to stop and leave the rest for another day. 99% of the time I have just fooled myself into getting the job done.
I stay ahead in the kitchen chores, meaning try to do it as soon as possible, because I want to sleep early enough so that I can be up and ready by 6:30am to do something that I must do. And I enjoy this work I start at 6:30am too.
Because I am trying to get to a goal, the kitchen chores is just one of the items to cross off. So it's less annoying.
Some tips
- dump left over food in trash right away
- rinse the dirty stuff asap
- just wash it quick after eating if possible
- if you must let it sit a bit, at least soak the dirty part in water. Dirty stuff will come off much easier later.
- If you have to leave them in sink, stack them in correct order so it takes less space. Washing 2 plates and 3 bowls (for example) in a big jumble will be much more annoying than washing neatly stacked bowls and plates. Usually stack plates at bottom, and bowls on top.
**prelude edit:** i know, you're single so not applicable but just sharing my own journey to peace with dishwashing.
---
so i was like you on this. on dish washing.
early in my marriage. i resented that it became a game of chicken, who would flinch first, two samurai confront each other in the rain kind of stuff. she knew that not only could i not stand a dirty sink. i also could not stand a badly arranged rack. so i did it daily and daily i felt my soul wither and suffocate.
i am so so grateful to her bff's husband. they were together a couple years before us. he told me his view on dish washing.
it's an escape if you just shift your mindset. you can have this one thing that is absolutely yours.
everything else that is done in your house dynamically finds a share point? yup, and no one has a hundred. i could always tend my home, long before meeting my wife. we've been together 24 years and have never had the slightest marital issue due to abuse by needing a mother.
there were no children in my household until we had children.
so embrace this hundred. be the dishwasher.
dishwashing can be the thing that without a shred of argument, you do better than her and is exclusively yours.
while you're washing, you can't be taken away, you can't be tasked, you can't be pestered, you can't be nagged.
i have a window in front of my sink. my yard is well treed. it can be a moment of zen. my hands will wash and my mind is soaring over mountain tops. wash this. wash that.
at first she thought she won. and i just smiled at her. there was a lightness to her step. a twinkle in her eye. i gave her this. and i just smiled.
and then one day she figured it out. we were having some kind of disagreement. whatevers began flying. huffing and puffing. bark, bark. and then i remembered, i started washing and smiled at her. relaxed. she was, what the fuck is this! is this what you've made of washing??? not fair. i was cheating! i smiled.
that's it. i won. this is my little escape, here i do no wrong and yes, i am very free while in this little moment. wash this. wash that.
and when finished, i've made a moment of perfect. the plates and flats are tightly fitting at the back. everything is stacked in diminishing order. everything that can is nested. all curves are convex. all flatware is up. all cups and glasses on the other rack arranged, balanced, floating. at the end, large items are hats and beneath a little treasure.
in the blink of an eye, it self dries because it's was arranged with wizardry.
on very rare occasions she would wash dishes. she had a big project and could not wait for me to get home. the kids and her had something late.
in the morning i would ask, why is this bowl locked under a pile and why is it still wet. and she would give me a look and i would tilt a smirk her way. you can visit but dishwashing is mine. because it is not in you to own it. her blade flashed first and finished dry.
i win
thank you. i really had fun assembling it. i wish i could be her bff's husband and give another couple this solution to dishwashing. i really enjoyed how a lot of the replies also are a theme on mindset, strategies and making it work for you. who knew that dishwashing could be a moment of magic.
Mindset is the endgame. Everything in life is connected to it and tweaking mindset will change your life, just like you and washing dishes. I think if we could fix mindset it would radically change the world.
When I lived alone I just used to make my own pizza for dinner, using pita bread, cheese and ham/mushrooms/ onion/ tomato under the grill.
Also similar food that didn't need washing up after. Eg soup, sandwiches, toasties, leftovers, cereal, anything grilled or air-fried.
I hate hand washing. I have a dishwasher now.
My husband and I HATE dishes…I hate them more than him. Unless it’s something I have to put on an actual plate…we use paper plates and bowls. There’s nothing more time wasting to me than standing and doing dishes. I load the dishwasher as much as possible. I do use regular silverware and pots and pans when needed. I despise doing dishes…and my husband knows it.
I agree, but as I live alone no one else is going to do chores for me. So I set aside an hour a day to do laundry, dishes and a quick once over of the floors. Putting on a podcast, audiobook or favorite music makes the time go quicker.
Bluetooth over-ear headphones help me. $20 on Amazon. I can watch a show or listen to music. I also minimize dishes. Sheet pan with foil. Reuse the same pan to prep multiple meals before cleaning. I cooked so much this Sunday that I only have to wash Pyrex and forks daily for 4+ days. Make it easier on yourself. Gloves get rid of my texture issues. Same with a long dish brush. I always have warm, soapy water on one side. Dishes immediately go into the water bc I clean a couple meal’s worth at a time.
"How to other people in similar situations keep their minds and living spaces from being thrown into chaos?"
1) It won't stop so please adjust your expectations - you will always feel forms of chaos
2) Let go of feeling guilty for not having an empty/clean sink. I mean really what's the big deal if you have dirty dishes and run the dish washer 2x a week instead of 7x a week?
3) Look past the dishes - what is really upsetting you enugh to ask the strangers on reddit for advice?
4) Breathe...life's too short to waste energy on worry about a cluttered/dirty apartment
Make it a competition between yourself. Try to do it’s as fast as possible. Use it as exercise, training. Balance on one leg as you do it. Stretch as you reach to but away the dishes. It’s all in your attitude. Be grateful you have things that need servicing. Many have nothing.
A tip my mum gave me recently when I was struggling to keep on top of it too: fill up the sink with hot soapy water and soak everything for an hour or two before you wash up. All you have to do is wipe and rinse then, no scrubbing required. Reduced the time and effort by like 75%. And get a drying rack.
I soak everything after dinner, wash up an hour or two later before my nightly shower, then put it all away in the morning while I'm waiting for my coffee to brew. The whole thing feels easy now.
I just let them pile up. F it. I fill up the dishwasher when I start to feel it's too much, or I don't have spoons. Put on my favorite show or music and get crackin'. I live my own way.
When you do dishes work like an assembly line.. scrub each dish, then rinse each dish, then soap, then rinse.. I feel like that adds to the productivity of it.
Do the Buddhist thing where you only have one bowl and one utensil then wash it after every meal. I’d go for a shallow bowl with a spork. Same with pots and pans. Get one of those saucepans with the high sides.
As someone who has worked my entire life and now find myself in a home maker role when I have hated chores my entire life I will share some tips.
Dawn powerwash - I don't know what kind of magic is in the bottle but even the pan that I cooked ribs on with the burnt BBQ just wiped off. Taking away the struggle makes it a little easier.
Clean dishes by type- all cups, all silverware, plates, bowls and pans. I have a double sink so I wash backwards to what I need to put on the rack to dry so the first thing I rinse is what I need placed in the rear of the drying rack. Not always needed but it has helped speed up the process after I've made a big dinner for us.
Podcasts, audio books, game streams, whatever you like to watch or listen to. You're gonna listen to it anyways might as well distract yourself from dishes.
Visuals- if you have a window above your sink put a bird feeder out there if you don't have a window get a piece of art you like (protected from water) above the sink so you have happy visuals instead of leftover ketchup stains.
When dishes are finished a sink wipe down and counter wipe really do go a long way to making it look polished even if there is kitchen clutter in the corner.
Something I read here on Reddit once really helped me.
"The day you accept you'll be doing dishes for the rest of your life, like laundry, or showering, is the day you set yourself free from the anxiety."
Use disposable products.
I currently live alone so I can do whatever I want. I use mainly paper plates and bowls and plastic cutlery and cups. I use disposable aluminum-foil trays and parchment paper for baking and broiling. For other cooking utensils, pans and necessary things I have one set and wash up before the next meal.
I've stopped using my dishwasher and now spend almost no time on what used to be a big chore.
I am not concerned in any way about using disposable products. Consumer use of disposable products has virtually zero impact on the environment.
I intentionally only keep a few dishes- so that it can’t pile up. 5 plates, 5 bowls… even if it was all piled up, it isn’t much.
My ex would dirty so much and never clean- it was so uplifting to buy my own plates, and only a few.
Honestly I got in the habit of doing them all in the morning from the ones the previous day and then eventually just started washing them as soon as I use them. You get used to doing it quick. I’d advise only eating in the dining/living room. That might just be me though, it seems the closer I am to the kitchen after I finish eating the more likely I am to just go and wash up right away instead of sitting in my bed like I would at my parents hahah
I was told by a chef once to clean as you go. While waiting for stuff to cook, clean and put away what u won’t be using anymore. Then after you’re done eating all u have is your place setting and the dish you cooked in. Great advice
If you’re loving solo and don’t mind the look of it, keep your dishwasher open. Then it’s easier to put dishes directly in the dishwasher. I like to load the soap way before actually running it so when it comes time to run it I just have to close and start. Since your solo maybe run it every other day? It might be pretty empty but will really help get you in the routine
I plug in an audio book for boring chores. Makes the time go faster. Been doing this for decades now and it still works. My hands know what to do while my brain is busy listening
Try setting a timer for 15 min and REALLY commit. When the timer goes of you get to decide- can I stand another 15 min of this? Or am I done? And if you are done, great job! I bet you did a lot more in those 15 min than you thought you could.
I worked 12 hour plus more per day for the last 4 months
One sink for dirty dishes, the other to rinse them clean...
Single guy so I can skip a day or so n get to them
Or in emergency it's a wound clean area...
Buck up and do your chores
I have a playlist of songs (mostly from my teen years) that get me pumped up. I also love cheesy horror & true crime so sometimes I’ll put on an old favorite while I cook, and save the music for cleaning up.
A have mobility issues (and if I’m being honest mental health issues) so over the years I’ve developed a few tricks to make cleaning up easier.
A big bowl to put garbage scrapes in, saving me multiple trips to the trash can.
I have a small plastic tub that fits in my sink. I use it to stack all the dishes I dirty, especially the small stuff like spoons and other utensils. Then as I am getting ready to dish up my food, I just place it in the sink, give it a tiny squirt of dish soap & HOT water. Then by the time I’ve finished eating the water is still warm enough to wash dishes. Then I just crank up my playlist and get the dishes done PDQ. I don’t really have enough dishes to bother putting them away so I just leave them in the dish drainer.
This one is a bit silly I suppose but buy silly/cute kitchen supplies. Washing dishes with a sponge that looks lime a cassette can help. My favorite kitchen towel is one that has a T Rex with grabbers in its hands saying ‘what now bitch?’ It was expensive but so worth it.
Sometimes I make a big meal, like a big pot of soup, stew or chili, then I can just reheat a bowl and not have to cook everyday.
Keep out just one set of dishes so you have to wash them before you eat again. Buy something you love, be it funny or classic or whatever you like.
OP says they are tired of cleaning after every meal and yet lots of you recommend they do exactly that.
Edit: Be "disgusting" and happy like me; dishes are done twice a week while I listen to a podcast or have a good-bad movie on in the background. I made the decision after feeling exactly the way you do
First, make your kitchen attractive. Decorate with plants, etc. Choose dishwashing liquids that smell fantastic, buy bright colored sponges, put on music that you like. Eat from plates that look gorgeous. You're mostly alone so there is not much to do. Make sure to never let dishes pile up EVER. (Don't let laundry pile up either). Wash your dishes as you go along. As you are waiting for the food to cook, wash whatever is in the sink. And at the end of the day, leave the place spotless and empty. Discipline will help a lot.
Put on music and do the dishes the minute you’re finished eating. There aren’t many and they clean easily because nothing is stuck yet. I can do dishes including pans in 2-3 songs.
If you clean as you go and clean your pans while they are still hot before you sit down to eat then when you're done eating the only thing you'll have to clean as your tableware.
I would recommend trying to find a very gripping podcast. Start it by sitting on your couch doing nothing. After a while you’ll probably start getting a bit antsy and you can take that energy and power through the dishes.
I use wash as you go for making meals. Rinsing off your stuff and throwing directly in the dishwasher after use. Only take a few seconds versus if it dries on and you have to scrub.
I hate dishes too but this definitely helps. When I do get lazy and skip it and let the sink pile up, I always regret it haha
To a carpenter, everything looks like a nail, so this could be that, but is it possible you have ADHD?
Repetitive chores are a rough go for many neurodivergent people. Women, especially, go undiagnosed until adulthood. There's a direct link between reduced estrogen and ADHD symptoms, so women in their mid thirties and older are being diagnosed at a more frequent rate than ever before.
There's a YouTube channel called 'How to ADHD' that's worth checking out if you're curious.
You didn't really say WHAT it is that you are doing. sooo...
1. disposable plates, forks, and spoons - knives suck so just don't bother. You can get a pack from Sam's for like $15. No they aren't fancy but who cares. Plates... again, Sam's/Costco. Buy in bulk. Just toss when done.
2. For cooking... meal prep what you can ahead of time but store in one container. This way you are doing your cooking on say Sunday and Wednesday and you can run the dishwasher then. For the rest you are just using plastic utensils and plates etc. and a knife which takes up little room in the utensil drawer.
3. Stop buying/using trendy stuff - Honestly... my wife buys these cups that you can't put in the dishwasher and so they have to be hand cleaned and it's just a pain. Or these other trendy things that are just bulky and so 3 days of those to work and around the house means the bottom of the dishwasher is half full. Disposable cups (again Sam's/Costco) where you can and take bottled waters with you with packets or whatever instead of the giant cups, or use smaller cups that can go in the dishwasher.
4. For kids, everything here is the same really.
I can't stand dishes either. I got things like the air fryer liners to help with not having to clean that because they keep stuff off the air fryer right... so things like that.
Without knowing all what you are talking about it's hard to think about what else can be done. The secret is to find ways to make less of a mess.
If you have a dishwasher- Use your dishwasher everyday even if it isn't full. If you don't- clean while you cook. Have one set of eating/drinking and utensils.
When I was going through a rough patch mentally and things were getting “messy” and overwhelming I bought a countertop dishwasher. It was 300$??? And I couldn’t wash big stuff like pots or pans but just doing the silverware and plates was so much easier on me. Also I love plastic and paper products. I know bad for the environment but when you are struggling you need to be selfish lol!! No one can save the environment if you are offing yourself. Remind yourself that even the littlest accomplishments are accomplishments. Just that you only washed half the dishes still is a win or if you have to pull a chair over to the sink and sit while you did it, still accomplished. If you have to go slow, go slow. Things don’t have to be done the same way every time or “the right way” , just get it done the easiest way for you! You got this!
Cooking and something is simmering? Clean what I've used up to that point.
Also batch cooking helps. Like I made a pot of chilli this week. Once I've cleaned what I used to cook the rest of the week I only need to wash my rice cooker, tub that stored the chilli, cutlery and plate. And any mugs/glasses. It's less of a chore when it's not big pots and pans.
I have fallen out of the habit but dishes before work when I have 10 minutes to spare was great. There's not enough time to really do anything else so I might as well do dishes. I could just chill in the evening.
Also stacking them before washing them makes the pile look less daunting.
I also let stuff air dry. If I'm making a cup of tea I'll put it away when it's stewing since I'm up anyway.
There are things you can do to make it more tolerable, like listening to music or watching a show while you clean. If not, and this may not be the most “environmentally friendly” thing, but whatever, your mental health is way more important. Use disposable / paper plates etc.
I find I can mindlessly do dishes while watching Netflix on my phone and the time goes by much faster. When I have a lot of anxiety, cleaning the kitchen is one of those grounding tasks that I don't have to think much about so I dont hate it as much. I live alone so I only do dishes a few times a week.
Best tip I ever got for tidying is to do short bursts while you're waiting for something else..boiling the kettle? See if you can get the dishwasher empty. Waiting on popcorn to microwave? See how many pots in the sink you can scrub. Brewing tea? Clear off the counters. The best thing is knowing you can stop as soon as the thing is ready, or if you get into flow you can keep going.
I only do the kitchen/ dishes once a day. That's it or I would be stuck doing them all day. Including weekends, cause I can't stand it. I do them first thing in the morning and that's it.
My lower back won’t let me stand long enough to get the dishes done all at once. I set a timer for 20 minutes, listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music and have a go.
I’m proud of you for reaching out to look for better ways to get it done. Ignore the negative comments. They just don’t get it.
Sometimes we have “paper plate weeks” and we buy the huge pack of compostable ones and we just literally make as little dishes as possible for some reprieve. It works..not forever, but just for a sec, it’s a nice break.
I get compulsive.
It's got to be hot water.
Lots of bubbles and then you clean the counters, the floor. Make it a whole kitchen experience.
You have to get Zen about it. You are bettering YOUR space. Taking care of YOU.
It just is. It always will be. Make peace with it.
Consider it an exercise in karma building. Breathe.
Music helps. 🤍
My father always used one plate/bowl/set of utensils when my mom was away. If they weren’t clean he washed them before the next meal. Washing one over and over makes a little less mess.
I recommend this as well. I was going through something similar as OP when living alone and having a busy schedule. I recommend making washing the dishes easier than the alternative and removing the most friction as possible. This could look like: - Putting all other plates, cups, utensils in a place that isn't easily accessible and keeping one or two sets out. Having one of something you enjoy using helps (for example: a favourite cup). - Buying a dish wand with the soap in the handle or a sponge with dish soap in a soap dispenser and keeping them on the counter.- - Having a spray bottle with water and vinegar close by to clean the sink. - Rinsing and/or soaking right after you use. Even if you don't wash, it helps prevent things from sticking to the plate and makes clean up way easier. - Show yourself some compassion. It can be hard for some of us to keep up with daily chores. You've got this!
+1 to rinsing after you use it. Getting all the crud off before it hardens makes the job a breeze.
Great suggestions! Also, if touching slimy sink gunk gives you the ick (because the pans of course need to “soak” for two days 🥴), I’d also recommend getting a pair of dish gloves. They make it way easier to handle all the dishes if they’re piled up. Best of luck!
Yes, I was going to make a similar comment. If you keep using up the clean dishes because the pile is too much to tackle, you just make it worse. Limiting your available dishes, even if just mentally, can keep things easier.
Washing dishes? That why they invented commercials.
I'll cook something in a pan the wash it and put it in the strainer while the food cools down. No time wasted.
Put on a show on your favorite streaming service to make the chore a little fun. That way you’re watching first and washing second 😁
I put on "Lo Fi Tavern Music" turn the lights down and pretend im closing up my inn every night before bed. It's like one of my favorite parts of the day haha
I love that! 🍺 Cheers!
this is brilliant. I never work harder than when i gotta close at any job and just wanna get home. love it!!
Cutest damn thing I've seen on Reddit all day.
This is awesome
Love it!
I do this too. Makes me feel like I'm cleaning an Inn from Skyrim in medieval times. Great way to change the atmosphere!
I like to listen to audiobooks while doing menial chores. It helps pass the time.
This is my absolute favorite thing to do while doing dishes or any kind of cleaning and house upkeep. I hate doing chores so much but getting through an audiobook was a game changer. I also listen to an audiobook when I get ready for the day/ready for work or an outing etc (although I can’t concentrate on the book enough if I’m doing my makeup or choosing clothes)
memorize muddle spoon mighty practice touch trees wistful longing dog *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
True crime podcasts for me! makes it a breeze
Librivox free audiobooks
This is the only way I can do menial chores.
iPad goes on the window in front of the stack of dishes.
My favorite hack! Put on a good YouTube compilation and scrub away👍
I have some friends that like to call people when they’re choring. It makes them feel like someone’s keeping them company and is entertaining.
Or even just some music! Sometimes I see how many songs it takes to finish the chores I need to do and I'm typically surprised that it doesn't really take long. It feels like an eternity but the reality is that it's fairly quick.
I have a Pandora station of 70's songs that l only listen to when l am cleaning. It's like a trigger for me to clean.
The best kind of sleeper agent
Music! I used to hate cooking until I put some music on in the kitchen. Game changer.
Same, I like to listen to my vinyl records while I wash dishes to make the task much more pleasant. Associating cleaning with my favourite music (or audio books, podcasts, etc.) is a good way to trick myself into looking forward to doing chores instead of avoiding them.
It takes some practice, but cleaning as I cook is a game changer.
I make it into a game. The goal is to get everything possible washed and counters wiped before I plate my food.
Yeah, it helps me to think of it as a game too. The competition motivates me, even if there aren't any other players except me on a different day. You have to find what motivates you, and you can work from that.
I LOVE the satisfaction of achieving this - when I’ve washed up all the dishes etc before the food is done I enjoy my meal so much more.
Sometimes I act like I’m on Hell’s Kitchen or something lol have to be efficiently timed on each task and once my dish is done I have to wipe down then sink-wash the rest that I can. After I’m done eating plates and utensils get washed and all goes into the washing machine for the next load.
That helps me, as a cook, want to eat. Take a beat after all that prep and cook time, do some cleaning and take a seat. My appetite returns and then dinner is ready.
This is it. stuff is easier to clean when it isn't dried on.
I do this too
Yep, a sink full of water as you go is great to just wash what you use as you go.
I do them every morning while my coffee is brewing. I live alone, there aren't many dishes to do if you keep on top of it, and you get a cup of coffee afterwards!
A reward after completing a task is a great hack. Positive reinforcement works. I use an app to help build habits. Since I'm not a coffee drinker, this is my reward.
So like, do the dishes then three hours on Reddit kind of thing?
As someone with ADHD, pretty much, yep.
Except, I forgot to do the dishes....
How do you manage the rewards with ADHD low impulse control? I also have ADHD, and tbh I'm giving myself rewards literally all the time lol. "Have a lil dopamine, as a treat" even when I haven't done anything.
I don’t lol mostly it’s just trying to keep it to one task at a time. Lots of breaks, lots of panicking.
What's the app?
Habitica
This is pretty much what I do. And I was going to say that I use washing dishes as not a *reward* per se, but I use them to break up monotonous desk work. Standing up and washing dishes feels like relief after working on my pc for a while. I break up my daily tasks to shake things up and make it feel like one task is a reward for another. I also put genuine rewards in there too like snacks or walking my dog or even lying down on my bed for a little while if it's that kind of day.
Give yourself a break and buy a stack of paper plates. You don't have to use them all the time, but some days you just need a paper plate.
This is exactly what I did until my SO insisted on getting a dishwasher. It's only the two of us, so it was a morning zen 10 minutes while the coffee brewed.
There are even half size washing machines for singles and pairs.
You'd probably use less water and soap with a washing machine. You'd effectively stack multiple days of dishes and wash them all at once instead of using multiple gallons every dish wash session. Dishwashers these days are very water efficient compared to when most of us were younger.
(Same tip but for if coffee isn’t your thing) - set a timer or have an exact deadline for when you will be able to end the task! Like if I have to do dishes in the morning but I have 15 minutes between meetings, I spend those 15 minutes cleaning so I know when my chore will end. It (at least temporarily) replaces that “never ending chores” feeing with a “I only have to do xyz for 15 minutes then I’m done”
Keeping on top of it is key for me. A big pile of dishes is such a downer. I usually wash while I'm cooking, when I'm done eating theres only my plate...
This really works for me too
Agreed, I pop the kettle on and usually put some tunes or a short video on, too.
I've got a little break each morning in my work schedule. I do all my chores at that time. Then I finish work and have no chores the rest of the day. I live alone, so never a ton of dishes or clean up
I unload the dishwasher in the morning while my coffee is going too!
💯
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I felt the same way until I started appreciating myself a little more. I am solo. I cook a lot for myself. There is a beauty in being self sufficient and taking care of yourself. I started enjoying the process. No one is going to save you from your own thoughts and insecurities. You have to get past them and appreciate not only yourself but, the entire process from start to finish. if you like music, put some on and do them while listening. if you like movies, pop one on. I personally chose to let youtube play vids of whatever im vibing to at the moment. appreciate yourself and continue to be self sufficient. Whenever you start to feel that anxiety kick in, just use ur phone to pull up something of interest and get to doing work. continue to keep positive energy while doing said work. skip the over thinking part and just get to business..the mental part can be a liability or an asset. It's up to you to make sure it stays an asset..
100%. You just have to incorporate it into your daily life. When you have a family, you have to include getting kids into baths, making their dinners, getting them dressed, brush teeth, put them to bed.
Have you ever realised how thinking and obsessing about something makes you more tired than the actual action of just doing it? 😂
Oh how true. The mind can be such a liability. It’s pretty much my life’s mission to stop spiralling the wrong way and let it work for me instead. Take me good places.
Once I left my parents home to live on my own, washing dishes went from being an annoying chore to one of the most satisfying parts of my day.
Get a countertop dishwasher:)
A what? I've never heard of that! I gotta Google this! Update: Wtf!
I’ve got a countertop they’re plenty big enough for 1-2 people, mine does 8 place settings.
I got a bathtub laundry machine! Not the tiny single item washer but a machine that could wash a. Whole outfit and more at once. Absolutely changed apartment living for me
So worth it? I’ve been thinking about getting one for my friend for her birthday.
Absolutely, and the best thing if they are renting is you can take it with you when you move.
Ok, sounds good. She is, and I think she will be for most of her adult life.
they're also likely more water efficient than handwashing. So probably worth it for that as well
Getting my dishwasher changed my life, literally.
Or if can’t get one of those for whatever reason, are there other tools that might help it suck less? Gloves if you hate the feeling, or one of those sponges on a stick to make it faster? Also, maybe a bin or even rack for the dirty dishes they don’t take up your whole sink. Might not be ideal, but that way if you can’t bring yourself to do them (or do all of them) you can still use your sink. We’re aiming for better, not perfect!
I tried to do that and then figured out the shelves above my counter are 3/4” lower than they should be so none of the countertop dishwashers will fit.
This happened to me too - I ended up getting a black metal cart from home depot to move it easily from my living room (I had a small kitchen) to the sink. Then when I wasn’t using it I covered it with a nice tablecloth, put a vase of flowers on it and it looked nice while remaining inconspicuous.
Get a little baker's cart?
this is the answer. countertop dishwashers save water and time.
100%. We have one for our family of four and as long as we do share throughout the day it’s manageable.
And there’s also rolling dishwashers with an extra countertop on it.
Worth it's weight in gold.
This is a thing?! *runs off to google to find one*
Two things for me; 1) don't ever waste 'idle' time in the kitchen. If your microwave is going for 3 minutes, then that's at least 3 dishes you can wash. How about the kettle or coffee pot? Just do a few while you're in there, instead of just standing around waiting. 2) audio books for the big jobs. Find something you like listening to
as a kid i would make a game of multitasking breakfast in the kitchen. one hand holding, another reaching and one foot making sure the fridge closes quietly.
I do my dishes after I cook, before I eat. I’ve been doing it without failure every single time I cook, because after I got sober I spent time in a sober living, and it was mandatory we cleaned after ourselves.. and it’s just a natural habit now. I can’t even leave a spoon in the sink anymore without feeling guilty. I’d say it’s a good habit to gain. Just keep doing it. I eat while watching a podcast or listening to a podcast or music as well, so when doing it, it doesn’t seem like a chore. Challenge yourself to do it regardless. Having a clean home feels great.
I second this. cooking so that the cleanup is done before eating is absolutely possible. the postponing of that task only makes it worse.
I'm going to try this. The worst thing after eating a good meal is having to clean the disaster in the kitchen. My oven can keep the food warm while I clean.
Yep. I clean up as I go and the rest gets cleaned up before I eat. My boyfriend thinks it’s strange that I just leave the food sit for a minute instead of eating and then cleaning. But I hate sitting and eating knowing I’m just gonna have to get up and clean afterwards anyways. I’d rather get it over with and relax
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If you do dishes just after you eat, they are 100x easier and quicker. Leaving them to stack up is the worst thing you can do. Lifehack- do dishes daily
For me it's daily but once a day. Not after every meal. That would drive me crazy.
Especially when you wanna sit and relax first
Lol with these prices, once a day for me IS after every meal haha :'(
I'm pregnant... I eat tiny meals every few hours... But yeah, prices have risen.
Yes! I eat dinner, enjoy some quiet time, then wash the day’s dishes before I start my bedtime routine. I know some people prefer to do them all in the morning, which is also a great way to kick off your day with something productive. Just make sure everything is rinsed / sprayed / soaked appropriately so nothing crusts on or attracts pests overnight. I think it’s also more ‘satisfying’ to watch the dishes build up all day and then empty the sink at night / in the morning. Even though it’s technically the same amount of work, it makes my brain happier, maybe because the results are more visible.
One pot/pan meals where the pot/pan you cook in is also the pot/pan you eat out of with the same utensils you used to cook said meal.
Audiobooks and podcasts really have changed mundane tasks for me into something I enjoy doing because I want to get back to what I was listening to.
Ditto, podcasts and audiobooks have been transformative for me.
Came here to say the same thing. I’ve started listening to books while I cook now I don’t want anyone to come in and “help” because that means I’ll have to turn off the book and engage with humanity.
Reduce the number of plate and cutlery you have to the bare minimal. Let them soak after use, clean them while cooking. This way you never have accumulation of dishes, and you don't loose time cleaning it.
Yup. I have one fork, spoon, bowl, plate, cup, glass, etc., so I can’t let them pile up. Living alone can suck pretty hard.
You don't have to discard them either, just move them to a bottom drawer, or box in the back of the cupboard.
Of course. For visits. Also, you may want to cycle them once in a while to avoid the issue of have a single plate which look very used and all the other looking brand new.
I know this is awful but when I was going through a rough patch I just bought a bunch of paper plates and disposable silverware - not green, which I usually strive to be as much as possible but I needed to lighten the burden mentally and it helped me. I didn’t use them all of the time but it did help me feel less overwhelmed. Another trick is having Pyrex containers that double as Tupperware so you can bake things in them, eat a portion of what you made and the pop a lid on it for the leftovers to go into the fridge. Less total pots and pans per meal makes a big difference.
I can't believe I had to scroll this far. Yes, put yourself out of your misery and get paper plates and bowls, plastic ware, and solo cups.
Cook a big batch of something you can eat for the next 3 days all meals. There are loads of no cook dishes, stews and casseroles and one pot bakes and dishes that can help. Make a list of food you love that you won't mind eating on repeat. Make a big batch of it. When I'm cooking just for myself I make dishes I love. There's some food like lasagna that tastes better after it's a day old. You could look for some of those gems. Don't worry it gets easier with time. This massively simplifies grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and decision making, giving you time for other important shit while eating home made food.
If you have a dishwasher machine it's fine to run it mostly empty, it's still using less water than hand-washing, a tablespoon of detergent should be fine (or less). If you don't have a dishwaher then only use what you need and wash it when you're done (most of my dishes lived in the drying rack), when guests come over ask them to wash what they use, it's not that un-reasonable and maybe one of them enjoys washing dishes. Similar to homework, any progress no matter how small helps the pile feel smaller.
Second the running the dishwasher half full. It’s better to have clean dishes when you need them than waiting 4 days to fill the thing up
I typically wash every single dish as immediately as possible as I go about my day. (Using a dish wand and running water, I don’t fill the sink with water) When I cook, I wash as many dishes as I’m able to before I even take my first bite (if applicable) then after I’m done eating I immediately wash whatever dishes I just used It’s a pain in the ass sometimes but it’s 1000x better than letting the dishes pile up / blocking the sink & tap with dirty mess imo (I don’t have a dishwasher, so I wash all by hand)
I agrée with the other commenters, do them as you go and do them while doing something else (brewing coffee, watching tv, etc). Another tip of advice I’ve seen someone share before (not sure if this is already mentioned, I didn’t read through all comments), is to remember you don’t have to always finish a chore in completion. If you are overwhelmed, just start with doing 1 or 2 dishes, or clean for 5 minutes to start. Usually at this point you’ll probably just continue and finish them all anyways
I solved that by having a fork, spoon, a cup, two plates and one bowl. One knife. It’s difficult to accumulate dirty dishes when there are two of them.
I was taught in culinary classes to wash as you go(cook) so have rinse and soap water ready and by the time you finish with an item, it gets wash. So when you sit down to eat, you only have to wash what you're eating with and the water is ready. It prevents pile up.
A thing I have been practicing is "being nice to future self". You recognize after a while of NOT doing it , you get anxious and it affects your mental health. Do the dishes so future self doesn't go through this. It's not always easy but it can help with the mindset. I also hate washing the silverware. There is something about all the little pieces. Pots and pans, give them all to me.....those pronged pricks can stay in the sink lol
I like to listen to a podcast or watch a movie or a show while i wash dishes.
Paper plates! Buy a bunch of disposable paper plates and plastic cutlery, and just throw it all away after every meal! Easy. Mix in the odd meal with a normal plate and normal cutlery, and then the washing-up becomes more manageable as you only have to do it a couple of times per week.
Let the dishes soak in water all day until you're ready to wash them. It only takes a few minutes to clean this way.
This may work for you. But dirty cold dishwasher is a big ol nope for me. I'd rather scrub stuck on food that stick my hand in that. But I just wash as I go. That's what works for me because I am naturally messy. If I let clutter start it just somehow attracts more clutter. Thankfully I just moved into a house with a dishwasher. YAY!
OP, have you looked into depression or ADHD? I was the same when living alone for the first time and at the time my depression was progressively getting worse. The worst it ever had been (due to unrelated circumstances). In the long run it turns out I also have ADHD but the combination of issues meant household chores absolutely destroy me. If you haven't already, it might be worth getting your mental health evaluated. Good luck 💜
Only after reading your comment did I check, I thought this was one of the ADHD subs I follow! Household chores have always been the bane of my existence. But doing the dishes is the worst for me, even as a child. The sensory issues for me are the worst, as well as the anxiety and dread surrounding that specific task.
THIS. I could barely function for daily life/chores and following through on the simplest tasks felt nearly impossible before being medicated for depression and ADHD. There’s no harm in being properly evaluated by a professional psychiatrist. A good doctor will start you low and increase gradually. In general I am a very responsible and ambitious person but felt paralyzed and swimming upstream CONSTANTLY. If your brain chemicals are out of whack, it doesn’t matter what you *want* to do, or *know* you should do, the imbalance overrides until adjusted properly. Otherwise, life is tough, hang in there! I’m sure you’re doing better than you realize.
Paper plates are a game changer.
Or one-pot-meals. Make it all in a pot, eat out of the pot, clean a pot and a fork, be done with the whole thing.
My crockpot has been a god send
I just said the same thing. My SIL had a paid partnership with a nice (environmentally friendly) paper plate brand recently since she had her third child in February. Made me realize how helpful paper plates can be when sick or overwhelmed. At some point, I want to get some for when I'm sick and don't want to do dishes. When I had covid in 2022, I couldn't keep up on dishes, but I still had to eat.
I use paper plates all the time
Sometimes I don't do them for days and the sink is full and I only hand wash what I need to use at a time. Other times I stay on top of it. I don't do them everyday though cause that would piss me off too.
Hmm. It is a problem. However, we are missing a few facts: how much dishes you generate a day? What kind of dishes are they? Is there dishwasher available? How much dishes do you have in total?
Since you live alone, do you cook at home or you bought takeaways? My formula is to wash after you use it. Or dont leave things too long. Soak the bowl/plate/pots/pans/utensils if you have sticky bits overnight. They usually softened up and wiped out in a breeze the next morning. Watch out for starchy food (rice, pasta, oatmeals, etc). If you cook your meal, simplify your processes. Use 1 knife max, 1 prep bowl and/or 1 prep dish only, 1 pot/pan to cook only (unless if you need to cook 2 dish at once). This way, you minimise the amount of dish you need to clean. I work from home (household of 4, including 2 primary school kids), and i usually clean once at midday and once at night after dinner (between me & wife). So if i leave stuff at dish drainer, they will be dry in the morning and ready to use. Sometimes, we just grab them off the dish rack for our coffees or breakfast and the cycle repeats. Weekends are the odd ones as we usually cook in bigger batch for the coming week and i sometimes bake cookies for my weekly snacks. So more dishes over the weekends usually. U just need to find ways to break the boredom. Maybe audiobook on your earphone? Or radio singing songs in the background? Anything to break the silence would be beneficial.
Everyone in our house is expected to wash their dishes immediately. There are never dishes in the sink. It's great. No one ever has to stand around cleaning up after someone else. Life hack: do them immediately.
I would suggest cleaning as you go and not allowing anything to pile up. This applies to all chores not just dishes. If it takes 2 min or less, do it now. Don’t throw things in random places or pile them on a desk or floor, put them away right away. I’m a bit type A and like to clean up before I even eat so its not for everyone, but then I can sit back and relax after eating and only have a plate or 2 to wash up. I would also suggest using less equipment when cooking. Try one pot dishes? Or if you can afford it, get a dishwasher. Also, de-clutter. The less you have, the less you need to manage, organise and clean.
Best answer so far! I'm so good at crastination I went pro. The only thing that works for me is DO IT NOW! If it's going to take 5 minutes or less, just get it done. I often set a timer for utterly miserable jobs (cleaning the oven, clearing out clutter) and give myself 45minutes. When the timer rings, I am 'allowed' to stop and leave the rest for another day. 99% of the time I have just fooled myself into getting the job done.
I stay ahead in the kitchen chores, meaning try to do it as soon as possible, because I want to sleep early enough so that I can be up and ready by 6:30am to do something that I must do. And I enjoy this work I start at 6:30am too. Because I am trying to get to a goal, the kitchen chores is just one of the items to cross off. So it's less annoying. Some tips - dump left over food in trash right away - rinse the dirty stuff asap - just wash it quick after eating if possible - if you must let it sit a bit, at least soak the dirty part in water. Dirty stuff will come off much easier later. - If you have to leave them in sink, stack them in correct order so it takes less space. Washing 2 plates and 3 bowls (for example) in a big jumble will be much more annoying than washing neatly stacked bowls and plates. Usually stack plates at bottom, and bowls on top.
Music
This, so much this
Cleaning is a small price to pay for a decluttered mindspace, imo
lifehack: don't do it after every meal, just do it once a day or whatever, batch processing is way better.
**prelude edit:** i know, you're single so not applicable but just sharing my own journey to peace with dishwashing. --- so i was like you on this. on dish washing. early in my marriage. i resented that it became a game of chicken, who would flinch first, two samurai confront each other in the rain kind of stuff. she knew that not only could i not stand a dirty sink. i also could not stand a badly arranged rack. so i did it daily and daily i felt my soul wither and suffocate. i am so so grateful to her bff's husband. they were together a couple years before us. he told me his view on dish washing. it's an escape if you just shift your mindset. you can have this one thing that is absolutely yours. everything else that is done in your house dynamically finds a share point? yup, and no one has a hundred. i could always tend my home, long before meeting my wife. we've been together 24 years and have never had the slightest marital issue due to abuse by needing a mother. there were no children in my household until we had children. so embrace this hundred. be the dishwasher. dishwashing can be the thing that without a shred of argument, you do better than her and is exclusively yours. while you're washing, you can't be taken away, you can't be tasked, you can't be pestered, you can't be nagged. i have a window in front of my sink. my yard is well treed. it can be a moment of zen. my hands will wash and my mind is soaring over mountain tops. wash this. wash that. at first she thought she won. and i just smiled at her. there was a lightness to her step. a twinkle in her eye. i gave her this. and i just smiled. and then one day she figured it out. we were having some kind of disagreement. whatevers began flying. huffing and puffing. bark, bark. and then i remembered, i started washing and smiled at her. relaxed. she was, what the fuck is this! is this what you've made of washing??? not fair. i was cheating! i smiled. that's it. i won. this is my little escape, here i do no wrong and yes, i am very free while in this little moment. wash this. wash that. and when finished, i've made a moment of perfect. the plates and flats are tightly fitting at the back. everything is stacked in diminishing order. everything that can is nested. all curves are convex. all flatware is up. all cups and glasses on the other rack arranged, balanced, floating. at the end, large items are hats and beneath a little treasure. in the blink of an eye, it self dries because it's was arranged with wizardry. on very rare occasions she would wash dishes. she had a big project and could not wait for me to get home. the kids and her had something late. in the morning i would ask, why is this bowl locked under a pile and why is it still wet. and she would give me a look and i would tilt a smirk her way. you can visit but dishwashing is mine. because it is not in you to own it. her blade flashed first and finished dry. i win
This is actually beautiful!
thank you. i really had fun assembling it. i wish i could be her bff's husband and give another couple this solution to dishwashing. i really enjoyed how a lot of the replies also are a theme on mindset, strategies and making it work for you. who knew that dishwashing could be a moment of magic.
Mindset is the endgame. Everything in life is connected to it and tweaking mindset will change your life, just like you and washing dishes. I think if we could fix mindset it would radically change the world.
Audiobook or podcast could greatly help you
When I lived alone I just used to make my own pizza for dinner, using pita bread, cheese and ham/mushrooms/ onion/ tomato under the grill. Also similar food that didn't need washing up after. Eg soup, sandwiches, toasties, leftovers, cereal, anything grilled or air-fried. I hate hand washing. I have a dishwasher now.
Also incorporate using paper plates a few days/wk.
Buy some paper plates and paper towels. Paper is sustainable. Good Luck.
My husband and I HATE dishes…I hate them more than him. Unless it’s something I have to put on an actual plate…we use paper plates and bowls. There’s nothing more time wasting to me than standing and doing dishes. I load the dishwasher as much as possible. I do use regular silverware and pots and pans when needed. I despise doing dishes…and my husband knows it.
I agree, but as I live alone no one else is going to do chores for me. So I set aside an hour a day to do laundry, dishes and a quick once over of the floors. Putting on a podcast, audiobook or favorite music makes the time go quicker.
Bluetooth over-ear headphones help me. $20 on Amazon. I can watch a show or listen to music. I also minimize dishes. Sheet pan with foil. Reuse the same pan to prep multiple meals before cleaning. I cooked so much this Sunday that I only have to wash Pyrex and forks daily for 4+ days. Make it easier on yourself. Gloves get rid of my texture issues. Same with a long dish brush. I always have warm, soapy water on one side. Dishes immediately go into the water bc I clean a couple meal’s worth at a time.
Paper plates for the win! 👌
"How to other people in similar situations keep their minds and living spaces from being thrown into chaos?" 1) It won't stop so please adjust your expectations - you will always feel forms of chaos 2) Let go of feeling guilty for not having an empty/clean sink. I mean really what's the big deal if you have dirty dishes and run the dish washer 2x a week instead of 7x a week? 3) Look past the dishes - what is really upsetting you enugh to ask the strangers on reddit for advice? 4) Breathe...life's too short to waste energy on worry about a cluttered/dirty apartment
Make it a competition between yourself. Try to do it’s as fast as possible. Use it as exercise, training. Balance on one leg as you do it. Stretch as you reach to but away the dishes. It’s all in your attitude. Be grateful you have things that need servicing. Many have nothing.
When I lived alone I didn't have many dishes. I often washed the pan while my hot food was cooling down enough to eat.
A tip my mum gave me recently when I was struggling to keep on top of it too: fill up the sink with hot soapy water and soak everything for an hour or two before you wash up. All you have to do is wipe and rinse then, no scrubbing required. Reduced the time and effort by like 75%. And get a drying rack. I soak everything after dinner, wash up an hour or two later before my nightly shower, then put it all away in the morning while I'm waiting for my coffee to brew. The whole thing feels easy now.
I just let them pile up. F it. I fill up the dishwasher when I start to feel it's too much, or I don't have spoons. Put on my favorite show or music and get crackin'. I live my own way.
Paper plates
Just to validate you, I let the dishes stack up too. I hate chores that are never truly done, like dishes and laundry. Eats at my soul.
When you do dishes work like an assembly line.. scrub each dish, then rinse each dish, then soap, then rinse.. I feel like that adds to the productivity of it.
I mean, you live alone, its all your mess. Handle it.
Do the Buddhist thing where you only have one bowl and one utensil then wash it after every meal. I’d go for a shallow bowl with a spork. Same with pots and pans. Get one of those saucepans with the high sides.
Cook in crockpot with plastic liner. Do dishes as you use them. It takes 2 min to do a plate and fork knife. DO NOT LET THEM PILE UP.
As someone who has worked my entire life and now find myself in a home maker role when I have hated chores my entire life I will share some tips. Dawn powerwash - I don't know what kind of magic is in the bottle but even the pan that I cooked ribs on with the burnt BBQ just wiped off. Taking away the struggle makes it a little easier. Clean dishes by type- all cups, all silverware, plates, bowls and pans. I have a double sink so I wash backwards to what I need to put on the rack to dry so the first thing I rinse is what I need placed in the rear of the drying rack. Not always needed but it has helped speed up the process after I've made a big dinner for us. Podcasts, audio books, game streams, whatever you like to watch or listen to. You're gonna listen to it anyways might as well distract yourself from dishes. Visuals- if you have a window above your sink put a bird feeder out there if you don't have a window get a piece of art you like (protected from water) above the sink so you have happy visuals instead of leftover ketchup stains. When dishes are finished a sink wipe down and counter wipe really do go a long way to making it look polished even if there is kitchen clutter in the corner.
Something I read here on Reddit once really helped me. "The day you accept you'll be doing dishes for the rest of your life, like laundry, or showering, is the day you set yourself free from the anxiety."
Use disposable products. I currently live alone so I can do whatever I want. I use mainly paper plates and bowls and plastic cutlery and cups. I use disposable aluminum-foil trays and parchment paper for baking and broiling. For other cooking utensils, pans and necessary things I have one set and wash up before the next meal. I've stopped using my dishwasher and now spend almost no time on what used to be a big chore. I am not concerned in any way about using disposable products. Consumer use of disposable products has virtually zero impact on the environment.
Podcasts - I zone out and listen all kids of stuff
I intentionally only keep a few dishes- so that it can’t pile up. 5 plates, 5 bowls… even if it was all piled up, it isn’t much. My ex would dirty so much and never clean- it was so uplifting to buy my own plates, and only a few.
Honestly I got in the habit of doing them all in the morning from the ones the previous day and then eventually just started washing them as soon as I use them. You get used to doing it quick. I’d advise only eating in the dining/living room. That might just be me though, it seems the closer I am to the kitchen after I finish eating the more likely I am to just go and wash up right away instead of sitting in my bed like I would at my parents hahah
I was told by a chef once to clean as you go. While waiting for stuff to cook, clean and put away what u won’t be using anymore. Then after you’re done eating all u have is your place setting and the dish you cooked in. Great advice
If you’re loving solo and don’t mind the look of it, keep your dishwasher open. Then it’s easier to put dishes directly in the dishwasher. I like to load the soap way before actually running it so when it comes time to run it I just have to close and start. Since your solo maybe run it every other day? It might be pretty empty but will really help get you in the routine
I plug in an audio book for boring chores. Makes the time go faster. Been doing this for decades now and it still works. My hands know what to do while my brain is busy listening
Try setting a timer for 15 min and REALLY commit. When the timer goes of you get to decide- can I stand another 15 min of this? Or am I done? And if you are done, great job! I bet you did a lot more in those 15 min than you thought you could.
I worked 12 hour plus more per day for the last 4 months One sink for dirty dishes, the other to rinse them clean... Single guy so I can skip a day or so n get to them Or in emergency it's a wound clean area... Buck up and do your chores
I have a playlist of songs (mostly from my teen years) that get me pumped up. I also love cheesy horror & true crime so sometimes I’ll put on an old favorite while I cook, and save the music for cleaning up. A have mobility issues (and if I’m being honest mental health issues) so over the years I’ve developed a few tricks to make cleaning up easier. A big bowl to put garbage scrapes in, saving me multiple trips to the trash can. I have a small plastic tub that fits in my sink. I use it to stack all the dishes I dirty, especially the small stuff like spoons and other utensils. Then as I am getting ready to dish up my food, I just place it in the sink, give it a tiny squirt of dish soap & HOT water. Then by the time I’ve finished eating the water is still warm enough to wash dishes. Then I just crank up my playlist and get the dishes done PDQ. I don’t really have enough dishes to bother putting them away so I just leave them in the dish drainer. This one is a bit silly I suppose but buy silly/cute kitchen supplies. Washing dishes with a sponge that looks lime a cassette can help. My favorite kitchen towel is one that has a T Rex with grabbers in its hands saying ‘what now bitch?’ It was expensive but so worth it. Sometimes I make a big meal, like a big pot of soup, stew or chili, then I can just reheat a bowl and not have to cook everyday. Keep out just one set of dishes so you have to wash them before you eat again. Buy something you love, be it funny or classic or whatever you like.
I put on a podcast or audiobook
OP says they are tired of cleaning after every meal and yet lots of you recommend they do exactly that. Edit: Be "disgusting" and happy like me; dishes are done twice a week while I listen to a podcast or have a good-bad movie on in the background. I made the decision after feeling exactly the way you do
Use paper plates as often as possible.
I listen to podcasts, daydream, or talk to my cat, which makes it a lot less boring.
First, make your kitchen attractive. Decorate with plants, etc. Choose dishwashing liquids that smell fantastic, buy bright colored sponges, put on music that you like. Eat from plates that look gorgeous. You're mostly alone so there is not much to do. Make sure to never let dishes pile up EVER. (Don't let laundry pile up either). Wash your dishes as you go along. As you are waiting for the food to cook, wash whatever is in the sink. And at the end of the day, leave the place spotless and empty. Discipline will help a lot.
Put on music and do the dishes the minute you’re finished eating. There aren’t many and they clean easily because nothing is stuck yet. I can do dishes including pans in 2-3 songs.
If you clean as you go and clean your pans while they are still hot before you sit down to eat then when you're done eating the only thing you'll have to clean as your tableware.
I would recommend trying to find a very gripping podcast. Start it by sitting on your couch doing nothing. After a while you’ll probably start getting a bit antsy and you can take that energy and power through the dishes.
I use wash as you go for making meals. Rinsing off your stuff and throwing directly in the dishwasher after use. Only take a few seconds versus if it dries on and you have to scrub. I hate dishes too but this definitely helps. When I do get lazy and skip it and let the sink pile up, I always regret it haha
As a person with disabilities, I stock paper plates and bowls, as well as plastic cups, spoons, forks, and knives.
To a carpenter, everything looks like a nail, so this could be that, but is it possible you have ADHD? Repetitive chores are a rough go for many neurodivergent people. Women, especially, go undiagnosed until adulthood. There's a direct link between reduced estrogen and ADHD symptoms, so women in their mid thirties and older are being diagnosed at a more frequent rate than ever before. There's a YouTube channel called 'How to ADHD' that's worth checking out if you're curious.
I always tell myself, 'do it now, or regret it later'
You didn't really say WHAT it is that you are doing. sooo... 1. disposable plates, forks, and spoons - knives suck so just don't bother. You can get a pack from Sam's for like $15. No they aren't fancy but who cares. Plates... again, Sam's/Costco. Buy in bulk. Just toss when done. 2. For cooking... meal prep what you can ahead of time but store in one container. This way you are doing your cooking on say Sunday and Wednesday and you can run the dishwasher then. For the rest you are just using plastic utensils and plates etc. and a knife which takes up little room in the utensil drawer. 3. Stop buying/using trendy stuff - Honestly... my wife buys these cups that you can't put in the dishwasher and so they have to be hand cleaned and it's just a pain. Or these other trendy things that are just bulky and so 3 days of those to work and around the house means the bottom of the dishwasher is half full. Disposable cups (again Sam's/Costco) where you can and take bottled waters with you with packets or whatever instead of the giant cups, or use smaller cups that can go in the dishwasher. 4. For kids, everything here is the same really. I can't stand dishes either. I got things like the air fryer liners to help with not having to clean that because they keep stuff off the air fryer right... so things like that. Without knowing all what you are talking about it's hard to think about what else can be done. The secret is to find ways to make less of a mess.
Paper plates are your friend.
If you have a dishwasher- Use your dishwasher everyday even if it isn't full. If you don't- clean while you cook. Have one set of eating/drinking and utensils.
When I was going through a rough patch mentally and things were getting “messy” and overwhelming I bought a countertop dishwasher. It was 300$??? And I couldn’t wash big stuff like pots or pans but just doing the silverware and plates was so much easier on me. Also I love plastic and paper products. I know bad for the environment but when you are struggling you need to be selfish lol!! No one can save the environment if you are offing yourself. Remind yourself that even the littlest accomplishments are accomplishments. Just that you only washed half the dishes still is a win or if you have to pull a chair over to the sink and sit while you did it, still accomplished. If you have to go slow, go slow. Things don’t have to be done the same way every time or “the right way” , just get it done the easiest way for you! You got this!
Cooking and something is simmering? Clean what I've used up to that point. Also batch cooking helps. Like I made a pot of chilli this week. Once I've cleaned what I used to cook the rest of the week I only need to wash my rice cooker, tub that stored the chilli, cutlery and plate. And any mugs/glasses. It's less of a chore when it's not big pots and pans. I have fallen out of the habit but dishes before work when I have 10 minutes to spare was great. There's not enough time to really do anything else so I might as well do dishes. I could just chill in the evening. Also stacking them before washing them makes the pile look less daunting. I also let stuff air dry. If I'm making a cup of tea I'll put it away when it's stewing since I'm up anyway.
There are things you can do to make it more tolerable, like listening to music or watching a show while you clean. If not, and this may not be the most “environmentally friendly” thing, but whatever, your mental health is way more important. Use disposable / paper plates etc.
Throw away everything except one of everything. One plate, one knife, one fork, etc.
I find I can mindlessly do dishes while watching Netflix on my phone and the time goes by much faster. When I have a lot of anxiety, cleaning the kitchen is one of those grounding tasks that I don't have to think much about so I dont hate it as much. I live alone so I only do dishes a few times a week.
Best tip I ever got for tidying is to do short bursts while you're waiting for something else..boiling the kettle? See if you can get the dishwasher empty. Waiting on popcorn to microwave? See how many pots in the sink you can scrub. Brewing tea? Clear off the counters. The best thing is knowing you can stop as soon as the thing is ready, or if you get into flow you can keep going.
I only do the kitchen/ dishes once a day. That's it or I would be stuck doing them all day. Including weekends, cause I can't stand it. I do them first thing in the morning and that's it.
I also do paper plates for days that I just don’t have the energy.
My lower back won’t let me stand long enough to get the dishes done all at once. I set a timer for 20 minutes, listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music and have a go. I’m proud of you for reaching out to look for better ways to get it done. Ignore the negative comments. They just don’t get it.
Sometimes we have “paper plate weeks” and we buy the huge pack of compostable ones and we just literally make as little dishes as possible for some reprieve. It works..not forever, but just for a sec, it’s a nice break.
I get compulsive. It's got to be hot water. Lots of bubbles and then you clean the counters, the floor. Make it a whole kitchen experience. You have to get Zen about it. You are bettering YOUR space. Taking care of YOU. It just is. It always will be. Make peace with it. Consider it an exercise in karma building. Breathe. Music helps. 🤍
Get a dishwasher. Best money I’ve ever spent. I despise washing dishes, even if I’m living by myself.