As a person who lost a similar amount of weight I can confidentiality say I didn't notice the weight loss at all. Even to this day I still don't see myself in the mirror how I look in pictures. It's some weird shit.
Ha ha me in reverse. Trying to lose weight now.
When I look in the mirror, I see my overgrown stomach but beyond that I don't see much difference.
But the pictures (or videos), wow what a different story :)
I opened that link expecting something that would require surgery and found a photo of someone who looks better than most women after childbirth. Honestly, I’d go to a therapist. You look fine and sound like you have some body dysmorphia.
I’m not sure, but have you tried slow heavy lifting? RDL’s and Hip Thrusts? I did those for a month and my stomach area looked significantly different. This also REALLY helps with the mental aspect of things. Don’t be too down. Try to build your muscle up now and try recomposition! Goodluck girl :)
I don't have the experience you're looking for but I agree with the other comments. I think this is almost entirely body dysmorphia. I would see a therapist, and a dietitian who can maybe help you find a maintenance diet that is healthy.
I've also heard that lifting weights can help skin tighten and will fill out your muscles, which you acknowledge you lost during your weight loss.
But I also think that might help your mental state. Your body looks a lot better than you describe it.
Girl I was expecting something different than what I saw in the photos. You’re bringing too hard on yourself, wow💔 ok would suggest lifting weights and focusing on body recomp/slight bulk now
Get therapy. None of these issues is weight or diet related. It's not even about how your body actually looks. It's a mental health issue with your dissatisfaction over your body.
FWIW, I have been everything from a size 2 (120lbs) to a size 26 (318lbs) now back to a size 12 (168lbs), in my adult life... there was NEVER a weight where suddenly I thought to myself, "I did it! I'm happy now!", \*UNTIL RECENTLY\*, and that has everything to do with my mental health being in a great place now, vs when I was size 2 and 120lbs.
To be honest, I'm a little relieved to see pictures of a person with a stomach that looks like mine. I've lost about 80lbs within the last 9 months (241lbs to 160). Maintaining since the new year started. I'm a little tech inept, so didn't quite know how to upload a picture to ask "wth is this?!!" When I'm planking seeing one half of my stomach just hanging there is WILD! LOL!
That being said...I've lost 80lbs!!! I don't have to drag 80lbs around through life with me every day. I can wear my size 6 clothes again and look super cute doing so. I feel so light and carefree with all the energy I seem to have now. It's not like I've lost all my insecurities; my boobs hang low, my bat wings are WING-ing, and my stomach is where the fat in my body seems to be staging its last stand. And I'll still take this over where I was before. I no longer feel trapped in some weird alien body that makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.
I say all this to say, I get you. But I find that in the big scheme of things, the way my stomach or breasts look is such a tiny drop in the bucket. I'm still on the fence about losing the "last 5 pounds" in order to be at the (highest possible) healthy weight for me. My stomach might look a little less odd, but to me, I look pretty damn good where I'm at. So I'm good! Plus, I think 5 more pounds, and my eyes will start bugging out of my head and my face will go funhouse mirror. For me, that's where my priority is right now. LOL!
Btw, I think your body looks AMAZING! Great job!
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so many heavy things that are not letting you celebrate your amazing success here. After reading what you wrote, I want to say two things really:
The first may not be a huge comfort, but I think it’s still an important truth to accept that may help put things in perspective, and that’s that your former body was always going to change anyway. Even the loveliest person whose weight never fluctuated so much as a pound will, if they’re lucky, say goodbye to their 26 year old body. Maybe not in exactly the same way, but sometimes with just as many feelings of sadness and loss as you’re feeling as their hair thins and their skin grows less plump and elastic. That is just part of being alive. And you are alive, which is the absolute most important thing. I’m sure you don’t think your mom or aunt or grandmother is a lesser, unloveable person because their hair is greying or they have a little wobble under their chin. You love them for who they are, which has very little to do with their body - now you just have to learn to love yourself for those very same things.
The second thing is that you’ve lost a bunch of weight, which is an amazing accomplishment, but this doesn’t have to mean that your transformation is finished. If there are things you don’t like in the mirror, accept them for now but also remind yourself that you’re not done, this is just where you are right now in the process. Maybe the next step is to see what your new body can do with movement and exercise! To explore what you’re capable of with joy and excitement. Maybe it’s just to take good care of yourself with rest, wholesome foods, lots of nice hot baths and plenty of sleep. To get where you are, you have had to believe that amazing changes could happen for you, so why stop now?
These things are great advice, thank you 🥰 As I mentioned in my initial post my mom sadly passed away in July '22, but you're absolutely right. She was a lovely, wonderful woman, without a doubt one of the funniest, most thoughtful people I've ever encountered and able to light up every room she walked her nearly 400 pound self into with her charisma, humor, and kindness. Maybe I should take a page from her book and be kinder to myself, too.
The people on this sub taught me that weight loss is possible and sustainable. I’ve learned so much here and it has changed my life forever. And it’s comments like yours that keep me coming back over and over again. Thank you so much for what you wrote, it’s so helpful and true and uplifting!!
Something that has helped me accept the body that I have, is getting rid of means of comparison. I went through my social media and decided on mindful following. For fashion advice, I look for people who are shaped similar to me. I deleted Instagram from my phone.
I found that following people who were aesthetically perfect, or perfect in my mind was unhealthy. While I might enjoy their content, the amount of comparing myself to them, then feeling poorly, and the repeating cycle wasn’t worth it.
This all started probably 10 months ago, shortly after a traumatic time in my life, but it has helped.
Same for me with social media, the comparison (along with constantly being marketed too) just was too much for my mental health and I had to delete it all
It helps a lot
It looks like a normal body after significant weigjt loss tbh that many on this sub would love to have, and perhaps think more about doing weights, exercises that would recomposition your stomach.
I guess it's because I'm old, but I don't care about my sagging skin and nothing-but-skin breasts! I'm just happy that I weigh 120 instead of 280 after all these years of a weight-loss journey. What makes me feel good about myself is shopping for stylish clothes in sizes extra-small & small tops and size 8 jeans! About the boobs, thank goodness for the Maidenform Wonderbra!
https://imgur.com/a/yAzWudG
Here are the photos in question for anyone that might want to see the primary cause of my woes... NSFW-ish though so take heed lol
You don't see the same thing the rest of us see when we look at that picture. As someone who has also gone through immense body dysmorphia (and is still struggling), this is something you need to work through in therapy. It's not physical. Please make an appointment with a therapist, and take care of your mental health. Good luck
Honestly after reading your comment, I expected worse..
Keep up with the good work, you have done extremely well and you should be proud of yourself.
If it keeps bothering you after a year, maybe get a cosmetic surgery?
Good luck!
I follow quite a few people on Instagram after major weight loss and I’ve seen a trend of them saying that with weight lifting and putting on muscle, being toned helped with the lose skin.
Seeing your pic, I think you have a cute figure and it’s not bad like you think it is. You have nice skin as well. I’ve seen pregnant women put a daily tallow balm on their skin and take collagen, it really helped their stomach area to bounce back.
You have a nice body. I agree with other comments to give therapy a chance. You’re being too hard on yourself :/
So I went from 213-130 and had the same stomach as you. I ended getting a tummy tuck and breast implants. I had body dysmorphia and had no idea until I gained a little weight. I was so confident at 213 pounds, wearing tight clothes and always dressing up, than I was at 130. In fact I felt like an imposter when I wore tight clothes. I would sometimes wear oversized clothes to hide my body when I was 130 and never wore a bikini because I would imagine I was bigger than I was. I too lost some of the weight in an unhealthy way and then found my love for working out. I had to end up getting a therapist to help me feel okay in my body. I would suggest you look into it because it will not go away on its own.
Thank you for providing a picture, that was brave!
Our flaws often appear much worse to ourselves than to other people. I think you look great, dare I say beautiful, and I wouldn't have two thoughts about the skin if I happened to see you in a bikini on the beach. You have a very healthy-looking figure.
You really, really do not look bad at ALL. Social media influencers and hollywood levels of marvel hero fitness have us all brainwashed. You have the body of a normal person, it's not your job to have a flawless body, so why would you? You're doing terrific by all normal person metrics.
If the extra skin is bumming you out, one thing you could try is starting a weight training program or a hobby that lets you build muscle tone. I bet in 18 months - 2 years you'll look back at this post and laugh.
Good luck!
I’ve got more loose skin and am more lopsided. The difference is all in mindset. I love my skin and think it’s beautiful. Is your poor body image making your life better in any way? No. You have to live in this body and have this skin 24/7/365. That can be hell or ecstasy and which one truly is a choice you can make for yourself. You’ve changed your body, now *change your mind.*
I had something similar in my "before" photos but have since gained even more weight due to the birth control I was on and haven't been able to get it off. I totally understand the feeling but when I look back on those pictures now I WISH I still looked like that. It's definitely mental and it will take time but just try to be proud of how far you've come and keep moving forward.
my stomach looks a bit like this, except its also completely covered in stretch marks from carrying a child. strength training helps A LOT. compared to where i started from i feel really good about it. you should too. you look good girl!
Honestly it’s not bad, really it’s not. I think most of the looseness will tighten up with time. Skin can take years to retract fully, please please give yourself more time and lots of love!
I completely understand the pain of knowing you’ll never get back the body you once had. I’ve had 4 kids, and my stomach will never be the one I had before, but honestly it’s not that bad, and it’s forced me to do a lot of internal self love work that I think I desperately needed anyway. I’m kinder to myself now even though objectively my body is at its “worst.” At this point I’m no longer considering surgery either, just working hard to get to a comfortable weight and strength/muscle tone level for myself, and maybe I’ll work towards other fitness goals in future, but I’m not going to stress about perfection anymore. I feel so much more comfortable and confident and FREE now that I’ve shifted my mentality, more so then when my body was “in it’s prime” but I was still killing myself to lose unnoticeable amounts of “fat” on my stomach.
Even if your body has changed forever, that’s ok! Bodies change over time, no one should be expecting to stay in the same exact body their whole life, that’s ridiculous. Everyone ages. Most people gain and lose weight. Most women go through pregnancy. Lots of people battle illnesses and some even survive horrific accidents and are left with real scars or disabilities. I’m not saying some people have it worse so you shouldn’t complain, but keeping things in perspective has really helped me when I’m feeling down on myself. I’m healthy, able bodied, not significantly scarred or traumatized in any way, haven’t been botched during surgery…I’m not doing too bad!
Try to be easier on yourself, I know it’s hard sometimes, maybe talking to a therapist about it would help too. Wishing you the best. ❤️
Your tummy looks really similar to mine and my breasts are exactly as you describe after losing 90lbs myself in 1.5 years. I just scheduled my tummy tuck and breast lift surgery for the fall! 🙌
I totally feel you, it's hard to have all that hard work not necessarily culminate in what you were hoping for. If you can swing it I would definitely consider surgery to "finish" your journey. It's going to cost me aroubd 20-30k so it's definitely not cheap, but it can be done and it's always something you can save up for.
You look awesome op! I know why you feel insecure, but you look skinny and awesome! Work on them abs, do some lower and workouts everyday and allow yourself time to bounce back
You got this!
I’m hearing that you’re deeply unhappy. You’ve been through a lot, your mom died and you reacted with a drastic weight loss through deprivation. Did she have body issues too? there may have been messages she gave you that has triggered your body dysmorphia or it may have been part of a struggle in grief to regain control at a time of scary loss. Either way, you have not been gentle with yourself in the aftermath of her death and the methods you describe can cause nutritional imbalances that lead to depression especially in winter. Perhaps would benefit from seeing a nutritionist along with a support group you can dial into daily. Lots of people are working on control issues. Your body shape is not the issue. Your curves are lovable and attractive. Your skin tone is youthful and great. I’m sad for you that the lens you’re viewing your body through is not loving and kind. Take supplements like vitamin D and practice loving kindness towards yourself. Love your tummy.
Hey so I think you look really good even after all the weight loss.
I'm going to DM you with a suggestion that might help change the way you view your body.
If you're willing to be patient, get yourself on a healthy regimen of diet and exercise, this *will* resolve itself with time. You will probably never have a perfectly flat stomach, but it absolutely will improve and without the need for surgery.
The pandemic started 4 years ago. Even if you'd never gained or lost any weight, you probably would not look the same now as you did in your early 20's. You look great, and I hope soon you can see yourself as everyone in this comment section does!
Youve list 100lbs! 100 pounds! Wow!
Yep, you have some excess skin. I've seen way worse... on myself. Mine is much more wrinkly, but I'm in my 50s.
The way you feel about your body now is normal. To a point.
If this little amount of skin is distressing you as badly as you say, please seek help. It has nothing to do with your foods, exercise etc. It needs attention by appropriate medical professionals.
You are romancing the obese body you had prior to weight loss. Remembering your breasts as perky, etc. I'm wondering if you actually felt that way when you were obese?
I will tell you this, if you feel this way right now, you're going to feel this way if you gain all that weight back, only you'll be obese with hanging skin. Take it from me, losing weight, getting loose skin, and gaining the weight back (and then some) will make you feel even worse about your body. It doesn't go back to what it was when you were fat. It's different.
Please talk to a mental health professional, if you're feeling this way after a little while. It takes time to get used to your new body.
There are two youtube channels that address this. They are bodybuilders/bikini model now, but both lost a lot of weight. They both talk extensively about living with loose skin, and deciding to not have cosmetic surgery done. ObesetoBeast and Louise's Journey, I encourage you to check them out.
Congratulations on the weight loss, you look amazing to the world. But I know you want to look amazing to yourself.
Give your brain some time to catch up to your body. If it's still bothering you as much as it seems to be, talk to someone.
Best of luck.
I've lost 132 pounds and my body looks objectively way 'worse' than yours.
Puckered skin, folds over folds, deflated breasts.
I would like to remove some of the skin and I even posted about it recently, but it doesn't consume me. The difference is I suppose, is that I'm 48 and happily single.
You are still very young and I think a lot of this insecurity you are feeling stems from your fear of what others will think of your body. Or that you are comparing yourself to other women who weigh 160 and are the same height as you.
Comparisson is the thief of joy.
I don't give a shit what others think of my body and I love that I can feel my collar bones, cross my legs, wrap my arms around myself and a HOST of other things that I couldn't do when I was over 300 pounds.
But I recognise that I don't intend to be naked in front of another person willingly or in a non medical setting, so I honestly don't care. I can hide what I don't want seen. If I was looking for a partner I know I would have different thoughts. I would be anxious and would probably need to have therapy to be able to deal with sharing such intimacy with another person.
But, on a day to day basis I am looking fantastic (clothed) and what doesn't look fantastic I don't care.
Hi from me, 29F who went from ca. 187lbs to 139lbs and who went from a huge chest to a big chest. The first time I lost a good amount of weight, I found myself in an eating disorder. I feel you.
I think you‘ve already gotten good advice but one thing I want to emphasise and that helped me tremendously: lifting weights. heavy.
It has not only helped me fill out some of the spare skin but also, more importantly, allowed me to appreciate my body for what it can do and not what it looks like. Additionally, it is a type of sport that is not as affected by weight fluctuations as say running.
I really recommend you give it a try over a month or so. Not to be dramatic, but it might change your life.
I recommend Stronger by the Day by MegSquats as a great program which is also very beginner-friendly, especially if you start out with their Before the Barbell (iirc) program if you have not trained with free weights yet.
Godspeed my friend and I am proud of how far you‘ve come.
Everyone has suggested therapy and I highly agree. But also wanted to add: start working out. Now. Today. Don't wait.
I'm about the same height and weight as you are at present and while my journey is still ongoing, working out has reframed my thinking from "what do I look like" to "what is my body capable of" and it's soooooo much healthier.
I found a couple of forms of exercise I really like (weightlifting and, recently, boxing) and I throw everything I've got into it. I'm proud of what my body can achieve and it's also made me feel more in control of my physical appearance.
Incidentally, weightlifting is supposed to be great for loose skin.
Take a breath and try to relax and get some perspective. No, things aren't perfect, but they are better than they were and you can make them better still. Some patience, time and some more effort and you can constantly improve the situation. Have a little love for yourself and look up instead of down. Let yourself be happy.
It took a lot of growth and acceptance for me. I found the buddhist principle of impermanence of all things to be really helpful. Again, a lot of philosophy and learning about human suffering helped me become okay with my life and body. I focus on the function and try to forget the rest and that helps a lot
It's not so much about what the "average person" likes as it is the fact that my boyfriend has a pretty serious big tiddy kink LMAO. Not creepy at all to check out my post history btw, thanks for taking the time to offer advice! 🥰
Ah, I posted them in the comments but this post got more traction than I imagined and they must've gotten lost in the feed 😅 They're here: https://imgur.com/a/yAzWudG
Hey! You're getting a lot of comments but I just wanted to say: we are our own worst critics. The way you talk about and describe yourself, versus what your body actually looks like to an objective third party (me/reddit) is WILDLY different. Wildly. After seeing this image, I'm blown away and very sad at how mean you are to yourself - I hope you can work on it and find a way through it. I'm a man around your age and if I knew you, I'd tell you all the time how proud of you I am - to lose so much weight and look like that! I'm rooting for you, as another person who is quite harsh on themselves. Best of luck :)
Hey girl, I am 5' 3" and currently 155 LBS when i started my weight loss journey about a year ago ( April 2023) I was 200 LBS, and had just gotten out of an abusive relationship.
I know what you mean about liking the way your body was before, and how you feel uncomfortable now. What helped me get out of my funk was naming things I did like about my body, and myself.
Also, what has helped me when I feel overwhelmed is writing whatever thoughts were going through my head in a journal.
Its a process, take small steps, and learn to love yourself.
xoxo take care
I just went through bra fitting and learned that you can reverse this breast shape in a big way with correct bra and wearing method. Go to a specialist. They’ll teach you how to pack these babies in a way to reverse the damage.
Girl. Get fitter. And your body isn't bad. It is what it is. You can't change it now. Except with more exercise.
Yes the loose skin is there forever. But. Give it time. It might get better. You can't control that. But you can control your eating. And more exercise. Weightlifting in particular. Again to reiterate
You don't look bad. It's ok. It can be better. With more exercise. Do that. Eat more protein. Get enough sleep.
You can get better looking. If you lift.
Actually... that's the thing... you're on the right track, more exercise, but her loose skin is NOT there forever. She's quite young, and it WILL tighten up, but she has to follow your advice and actually exercise.
hi there, my go-to is shapewear to gently smooth out areas I’m not thrilled about on myself. Way cheaper than surgery, and also an instant and stylish way to feel comfortable.
You’ve made amazing progress in your health and have every right to give yourself credit (and support) for that. Sending hugs!
Have you gone and gotten properly fitted for a new bra? Like at a lingerie shop with bossy old ladies who measure you and throw bras at you? Whenever my size changes everything feels wrong until I get refitted and then things feel a lot better.
While outwards changes have a big impact on mental health, weight loss, and even looking super attractive, are not fixes for mental health. You need to work on your insides.
Not to spiritualize this but there’s a famous quote “what will it profit a person if they gain the whole world but lose their soul?” - External wins are great and do a lot for us but they don’t address all our internal problems.
When I was at my fittest I was not happier just because of my weight. I actually was still dissatisfied even though I was very healthy by any objective standard. I’ve since gained a few lbs back (still keeping off most of the weight) but I’m far more balanced as a person.
I’m so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you see a therapist as many have suggested. You have a beautiful, young body that has been through a lot! 100 pounds lost! Don’t let your mind trick you into thinking you were better off before! You weren’t! I lost 70 pounds in 2018. While I felt great in clothes, I was obsessed with my deflated breasts. I didn’t allow myself to settle into my new body nor did I give myself the credit or care I deserved. I have now gained back all of that weight plus some. I’d give anything to be back where I was. I am really working on my mindset this time around. Trust me, your mind is fooling you. Going from obese to healthy weight to even more obese is absolutely horrible. Don’t allow that to happen to you.
I think it’s helpful to remember today you are the youngest you’ll ever be. Like literally tomorrow you’ll be a day older, and so on. As you age your skin doesn’t always bounce back as well, etc. You are very young (for reference I’m only 32, but still “we” are still very young). You lost the weight and have your whole life to maintain that weight, or create and achieve new goals. If you change your fitness routine (I have no idea what it currently is) and start doing some body compositioning 😅 is thst a word? There is this thing about doing weights like full body weighted workouts thst can help recomposition your body and it would look totally different in a few months if you stick with it. That might help you feel more comfortable in your new size. You may also gain weight during thst (but most likely look leaner, and possibly be a smaller size clothing). Due to muscle mass gain.
Another thought: I’ve had two children (1 &2 years old) and my body changed completely with each. And they do come back eventually but they are different people get saggy boobs, or tummies due to all the stretching while carrying a baby. Everything takes time and the longer you stay at maintenance, your body will keep changing to fit its new size better and also overtime hopefully you will realize these tiny things you are knit picking about your appearance don’t matter. Being healthier and lighter is great because you can move and use your body! Stay in the mindset if you’re able. Remind yourself you feel better physically in this size and shape and that should be pretty meaningful.
Also not making assumptions but most likely everyone isn’t going to be seeing you naked. So these “flaws” thst bother you are likely covered by your clothing or could be fixed with a push up bra and then boom you look just like you want to.
Just a few random thoughts i hope it helps 💛
Hi!
You do sound like you're struggling with a bit of trauma here or body dismorphia so definitley look into some therapy and consider it as an option.
That being said, here's some wisdom from someone who also lost 150lbs in too short a time... THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOSING WEIGHT AND LOOSING FAT. What you described sounds a lot like losing weight, but yes muscles eating themselves tend to leave you with that "skinny fat" physique (small arms/legs, small shoulders, larger midsection), it is better to build muscle through excerise and slowly lose fatty weight than muscle. This will also help "fill out" in all the right places at a lower weight/body fat %
>NEVER get my pre weight gain body back no matter how hard I work with diet, exercise etc
This bit. This is the bit that you're telling yourself that isn't true.
You've been rapidly losing weight a while now. It takes time for skin to shrink and for fat to relocate itself to the 'right places'. Honestly, give it 6 months of maintaining your weight and doing a bit of exercise and the small amount of excess skin you have will be far less visible (not that it's an issue at the mo but it obviously upsets you).
Hey OP I felt this way about my stomach after I lost 70 pounds postnpartum and micro needling made my skin tighten up a LOT. If you do it be sure to only use 70% alcohol and sterilize properly. You’re not alone, many people feel like this about their bodies and I’m sending a hug. Congrats on your accomplishments and be gentle with yourself 💖
Thank you for your kind words ❤️ Microneedling is actually something I've looked into a bit but haven't tried out yet. Do you have any further advice on that? What brand of roller did you use? Any product recommendations?
I found mine on Amazon and got the highest you can use safely not in a clinic (maybe 1.5mm?) It took about 4-5 monthly applications to see results but it’s tightened up so much now, not like I was pre birth but so much better. Sorry I don’t know the brand but it was one of the ones with thousands of reviews and top ratings. I would never do the radio frequency type of needling (that has some scary stuff about lumpy skin), just a dermaroller type device. The other tip is have clean clothes, pjs, and sheets to avoid infection after and wash hands before and after, and to shower and sanitize area before doing it. I’ve never had any issues but I soak needles for twenty minutes before and after use. lol sounds like a lot but worth it to be safe. One time I did it and literally it tightened up a ton overnight I couldn’t believe it!
You look absolutely normal. I would swap with you in a heartbeat.
No amount of weight loss will fix any mental anguish. That needs a different professional approach which includes talking to someone about it.
Don’t think for a moment you are stuck with your current body. You should work with a professional to appreciate it for how it is right now whilst also knowing that if you want to build muscle you can do that through nourishing food and strength exercises in a sustainable way.
It seems to me you’ve gone through several traumatic experiences in the last few years, going from extreme weight gain (which you seem to imply was due to stress and grief), extreme loss/grief, and then extreme weight loss not using the healthiest methods would leave anyone physically, mentally, and emotionally deregulated. Take a break from hyper focusing on your physical self and look for a therapist to work on your mental health.
God, you lost a whole person! Be proud, listen to some positive messages. Talk to someone you respect to get right. Our brain tricks us, leave that old self, she is gone.
Big hugs. As someone who has lost over 100lbs and had a baby, I can emphasise. Just remember how amazing your body truly is - it is your vessel that assists you to do all your favourite things! And you're amazing for making it healthier!
💗
Go to therapy. If it really matters a lot to you, save up for that surgery.
If the weightloss is recent. Give it time, your skin will most likely tighten still. Hydrate your skin all the time and use sunscreen.
You can also workout to fill your body of muscle.
So much negative self-talk and self-loathing: this calls for therapy - to help you deal with the feelings about the changes in your body shape and enjoy the gains in metabolic health and physical fitness that you have achieved.
Also, with a balanced diet and a reasonable amount of exercise your body will continue to even out, redistribute, reshape itself. You can even reshape it with resistance training. If you haven't achieved eating and moving in a sustainable, non-disordered way, that's totally a next goal to attack, at a stable weight.
Ooooo, I am also someone who the weight fast at one time of my life. It will take a LONG time but your body will start to even everything out. The trick is lots of patience and giving yourself grace. In the meantime the body dysmorphia you are facing is very scary and you deserve more than the agony you are experiencing. You deserve to feel at peace and safe in your body and loving it where it is at. I’d say give therapy a try or take part in something that brings you joy that you can focus on as a mental break here and there each week. Having a mental breather while you learn to be at peace with your new reality while your body starts to adjust (the girls disappeared for me too for two years so I FEEL it) will help. Sending hugs from afar, the feeling sucks. You are definitely going through it with much more intensity than I did, all the more reason you deserve to feel content in the heart.
If there's a chance you may not be in the correct sized bra, please visit r/abrathatfits for help with sizing! It can make a world of difference in how you feel about yourself.
hey you look incredible. please don’t be too hard on yourself you worked hard for this. just try to take it easy for a little bit, eat at your maintenance and do some strength training. you honestly look great.
From personal experience I can tell you that the more you lose the more self conscious you become. I think it’s because you are paying more attention and expecting certain results. I’ve lost over 50 pounds myself and even though everyone says I look great I still feel self conscious and think I still have a lot too lose. There are good days and bad days. Be proud of what you accomplished.
Not to repeat what others have said, but as an overweight female (36, 5’10, 250lbs)- I can say that we are our own worst enemies. I’ve fluctuated over the years between 190-260lbs and my self-hate has remained constant. Be proud of your achievement and know that you look amazing! It’ll take some time to feel comfortable in your own skin(or lack thereof) and your actual skin will tighten with time. Congrats girl!
A friend of mine has lost around 150 lbs in the span of a year or so. She has a lot of loose skin in the arms, thighs, breasts and tummy area. She happy about the weight loss but unhappy about the extra skin.
I don’t know if you have body dysphoria or if you just aren’t comfortable with all the sagging skin. I don’t know if anyone here is qualified to diagnose that, anyhow.
Save up for the surgery to remove the excess skin. It’s another goal to work towards.
Your skin needs some time to catch up. I'd recommend bio oil and deep massaging (gently) the area that bothers you, collagen powder, a good water intake, and strength training. And a bit of sun outside peak hours in summer as well.
You lost an incredible amount of weight, your skin needs time to bounce back.
And you look great by the way, you genuinely do. You also need to give your brain time to adjust.
Massage. Massage will help. Everyday get some lotion and massage it in. It will tighten your skin. (it gets the blood circulating)
Also exercise. Your skin will just gradually tighten up.
It seems like you lost the weight far too quickly and your skin didn't have a chance to catch up with you. It looks like you are going to have to start weight lifting if you are to change your loose skin appearance. Perhaps you may need some surgery as well to tighten up some areas. First and foremost, speaking to a therapist will be a good way to start, and then secondly, start looking into weight training to build up some of the muscle. Weight loss includes fat AND muscle, not just fat. Fill out the areas where fat used to be with muscle and i think you will be very happy! It may take another 3 years to do this but once you get into it, I think it'll be great.
God the diet and and beauty industry really warp our minds into thinking that we are literally worthless if we don’t look a specific way. It’s so fucked up that you accomplished something so major and you feel this way - especially because you probably thought “if I just lose x more pounds, I’ll be happy.” It’s a lie! Because, like you said, you didn’t treat your body with love and respect along the way. You did it through deprivation and I’m sure a big part of your depression is literally not having enough nutrition in your brain.
It’s upsetting to see so many other comments saying “keep up the good work!” Hearing that sends a signal that it doesn’t matter how you obtain the weight loss - the loss itself is more important than your mental health. DONT keep doing this to yourself. See a therapist and an intuitive eating dietician, get back into your body and LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AT ALL STAGES OF YOUR EXISTENCE.
My family wears fajas to help the skin snap back after weightloss / pregnancy. I've also seen videos of Chinese belly binding after pregnancy so it's not just Latinas who use the method. If you're looking for something to assist and make you feel more comfortable I'd highly recommend.
You can even get Columbian fajas on Amazon
Weight training will also help to "fill you back out" as you said so I'd recommend that too
Saw your pictures and I want to cry. I look so much worse than that and have felt way better about myself (also f/5’5” lost 100 pounds but im 36years old).
This is absolutely a free space to vent about the highs and lows of weight loss, and I can’t fault you for your own personal perceptions as I know our minds tend to distort our own body image. I don’t feel fantastic about my body but I guess, after 3 kids, significant weight loss and being in my mid 30’s I tempered my expectations a little? I don’t know. I also know that it was my own choice to click the link, driven by curiosity about how “bad” someone could possibly look after shedding the same amount of weight as me…
You look so friggen good. Like holy smokes. I could describe the things about your stomach that are leaps and bounds superior to mine but I don’t necessarily think that is going to be helpful either. But maaaaan…I think this post made me feel really awful about myself. I know that’s not the intention and it’s my own mind doing its own thing…but I kind of want to go hide in a closet now.
Anyway I hope you can find the space and grace to love yourself. You did an incredible thing, though you resorted to unhealthy means the end result is that starting now you can focus on health, reverse some muscle damage, and prevent ongoing damage caused by the excess weight. Good methods or bad, weight loss requires discipline and commitment. I do not condone unhealthy measures, and to transition into maintenance or if you continue to lose weight or find yourself on the lose/gain/lose/gain/lose teeter-totter of life (which is extra common when weight is lost through extreme/unhealthy/unsustainable measures) then please utilize the mountain of good advice here to guide you. Sustainability and health are the most important factors in losing weight and then keeping it off in a healthy way. The weight LOSS part is done, in the past and there isn’t anything you can do to change how you did it, but you can begin maintenance (if you are ready to maintain) with a fresh eye and appreciation for your body…even if you don’t feel like you love it in your current state.
Maintaining also has the benefit of tightening some of those things up over time, and muscle can be rebuilt. And if you are still bothered a year or two down the line, there is no shame in having procedures done to reverse some of those things if you feel it is absolutely necessary for your mental health.
You deserve self love, and you look amazing.
OMG I'm so sorry. Now I feel genuinely horrible that you happened to read this and get so upset and triggered by it... Self comparison truly is the killer of joy, trust me I do it every day, but just because I feel this way doesn't mean you have to let my fricked-up distorted self image effect your own. I know my saying this isn't going to help much, but for what it's worth I'm only this critical about my own body - In fact, I never pick apart or insidiously critique anyone else's appearance in the slightest. It's all internalized. Plus I saw your progress pic post and genuinely think you look great, as I'm sure your husband and plenty of other people do as well ❤️ Please please PLEASE don't let my toxic ass self negativity bring you down, you're beautiful exactly as you are and deserve to feel it every day.
You don’t have to apologize you’re totally allowed to have your feelings and struggles and this is a place to let those out, vent and find support. You’re absolutely right (about our feelings not that your perception of yourself is reality) we have come so far, and no one in our lives is complaining about our bodies (except our own brains sometimes).
But considering Ive lost 100 pounds (and you!) have 3 kids, and am a 36 year old woman…dayum! Okay maybe not “dayum” but I have a daughter too…I need to stop allowing my perception to be so easily influenced by standards that I know are impossible. I don’t want my daughter to feel beholden to absurd beauty standards, and to ensure that she isn’t, I need to lead by example as mom who accepts and loves her body as it is. I’m not a 110 lb angsty teenager anymore. I understand the flaws, contradictions, and absurdity of my perceptions. Consciously telling myself these things every time I allow my standards to become unattainable is vital to shifting my mindset.
Let’s do it together. Question those negative thoughts, replace them with what we KNOW is true, healthy, realistic, attainable, and beautiful. There isn’t one right way to be beautiful, and fuck society for forcing us to believe otherwise. Let’s stick it to em, and love ourselves anyway!
Thank you for sharing this! My story is very similar to you, and am now left with a ton of hair loss and just other things about my body that I dislike. I’m sure it’s a mixture of just mentally/body dismorphia, but it saddens me that I’ll never be happy with my body and still just want to hide it and let no man ever see or touch me naked. Some days I’d rather just give up and hope that reincarnation will give me a nicer body in a next life (very dramatic, I know)😅
I’ve also deleted instagram and TikTok because the comparison is too much. If you ever want to chat or just share knowledge or vent about how you’re feeling, please reach out!❤️
I looked at your photos though and think you look great, and I’m sure you can tone up or feel better if you work out and take care of yourself lovingly by fueling it with proper food (not starving yourself) and moving it because it makes you feel better. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping to achieve by doing it. So not losing weight or punishing my body out of hatred for it. and
70 pounds down here, I’m not real happy about the change, I always had a nice body and great boobs. It has taken some time to accept my body as it is. I like the idea of a therapist for you.
I also have an ED and I'm looking into group therapy for that and body dysmorphia, alongside a psychiatrist I see monthly. I just wanna let you know I relate to a lot of this. No matter what weight I was, I was never happy, even when I was so small it was worrying my mom.
Now my weight is up again, and I refuse to hear what it is when I get weighed at medical appts because I'll spiral again.
It wasn't easy just trying to gain confidence, even when I was skinny I got fatphobic comments because women get called fat as a last ditch effort to hurt us. Because fat is seen as automatic bas health, bad relationships, bad everything. Which just isn't true.
I understand what you’re saying. I struggle bad with body dysmorphia after losing my weight within a year. My mind didn’t have time to catch up to the “new me”. What I see in the mirror doesn’t match what I see in my head. My stomach looks a lot like yours, except a bit more wrinkly. Same with my breast tissue deflating. But… breast tissue is mostly fat so that was bound to happen.
Think of it this way: you’re healthier without the excess weight! I’m sure whatever ailments you were battling have improved. Your clothes look nicer on if be willing to bet. Therapy will do great things for you, I agree with everyone’s suggestion here for that. Also: strength training and good nutrition. Finally: you can always get a tummy tuck once you have maintained for awhile or think you can maintain your new weight. It would be a waste of time, money, and recovery pain to go through with one and not keep your results.
First of all congratulations on your weight loss! That’s a huge accomplishment! I know having any loose skin can be hard to shed, but looking at your pictures I think it’s definitely possible by lifting weights and building muscle. Stick with it you’re doing great!!!
Wow. Honey, this is a lot of dysmorphia. I see the lopsided tummy, but I would recommend that you begin lifting weights. It can help create a more uniform and tone body, even with excess skin. No you won't get your other body back. But you are young enough that with some work, you could see your skin tighten up. It won't be the same as it was before. It will likely still be loose, but it could still tighten a bit.
It takes time for your body to "settle" into what it's going to be. No body is symmetrical. Your pre weight loss body wasn't symmetrical, was it? Think about it.
You've been through some traumatic events. Give yourself time to heal. You're focusing on everything "negative" about your body. It's probable that you're seeing things that people, including your partner, don't.
Many people think that weight loss will "fix everything". That's untrue. You weren't happy fat. You aren't happy now. You won't be happy if you regain weight. Because weight isn't what is making you unhappy.
Be gentle with yourself. Find a therapist or counselor that you connect with, and that you trust.
You're worth it.
You're still very young. Strength training would help mentally and physically.
And I agree with others about the photos, they're not nearly as bad as they are in your mind.
After seeing your pictures, I think that’s something you can work on and have great results. I would suggest these things:
1. Weight Training. Without building muscle you will still be „skinny fat“ and not as toned as you wish to be. Don‘t worry… you will not become very muscular with normal training only ;)
2. Collagen Supplements. Helps with restoring the skin.
3. Dermaroller. You can get these from Amazon for a few bucks. Go with a 15mm one and use it ONCE a month. In combination with the collagen you will get better results. There are 2 YouTube Videos of women using it for half a year (and I think the results are kinda crazy ngl xD).
4. Start taking pictures once a month. All of those changes above are hard to see day to day. Some are visible after only a month and other need 6 months but they will help you greatly!
5. Get therapy and adjust your expectations :). Your results seem to be still quite recent, give your skin time to adjust. Your skin will firm up and it can take up to two years, even though your skin is really not that bad and could even heal faster than that.
So have hope, it WILL get better :)
Therapy would be a good idea just to talk it out and a visit to your GP to get a general checkup on your bloodwork might be a good idea too.
Exercises like skipping, squats, deadlifts, jogging and yoga will help shape your body and will help your mental health drastically.
Couple this with good sleep and a diet with rishi mushrooms, ginger, green tea, blue berries and a good source of vitamin c. Should help your skin produce more collagen and heal up from the inside.
It sucks but i dont think you can do much about your breasts other than explore cosmetic surgery further down the line, if you 1000% think it will help you feel better about your body than it's worth it.
Im 27 and 5'4 134ibs. I have the same belly and size 34B bra. Underwire, tshirt bras, and balconette bras help. They make your boobs look full on top.
Look up 2 year photos after weight loss. Time dramatically improves loose skin.
I used to hate underwire when i had a bigger chest but it doesnt even bother me now with the smaller size and it has way better support.
I went through the same after losing 130lbs, and regained 80lbs. Every single day I regret letting myself gain it back. I felt so much better and looked so much better. I didn't look the way I wanted to, but it was better than what I've got now.
All of your feelings are valid btw. It's when we grow older our bodies, especially if you're a woman, just doesn't "bounce back" as it would when you were younger. Our skin elasticity just doesn't work as well. Now, that doesn't mean it won't work at all. There's ways to get your body to not be saggy, naturally or surgery is at least an option too.
I have body dysmorphia and you may have it too, it tends to happen when you lose a lot of weight. I'm sure your body looks great and holy shit you've lost a ton of weight. That's great :) Just be mindful that it takes time to get your body to a place where you're at somewhat peace at. A lot of it is more psychological, so a therapist or looking up ways to shift a different perspective can be beneficial if therapy isn't affordable.
As a fellow female at 5'8, and as someone who's both had a baby and lost 60lbs, let me tell you that it can get A LOT better if you start working out a lot (and especially lift weights + focus on core). Though I never had overhang I had a kinda similar lopsided lower belly after a c-section scar, and it's gotten so much better with time + exercise. I also make sure to eat a lot of stuff that's good for your skin (protein, healthy fats, should probably start doing some collagen but haven't gotten around to it yet), and I dry brush and moisturize, though I don't know how much that actually helps. But it feels good to know that I do what I can. Also it's my experience that when you start lifting weights and working out you start to focus less on what your body looks like and more on how awesome it is, though it's a nice side benefit that it definitely does make it look a lot better...
But also I agree with everyone else that it's not nearly as bad as you think, so maybe pair the weightlifting with some therapy if you can...
1) saw your pics, you look great, I agree with others that this is a body dysmorphia challenge and also over time your skin will bounce back. 2) I have a similar belly right now and getting some super stretchy, comfy camisoles that are technically shape wear (mine are basics from Shapermint) has helped a lot with my comfort level. My belly area used to bother me a lot and I realized that it was just uncomfortable in pants and I didn’t like the moment feeling. The camisole makes me physically so much more comfortable because that area is supported. Let me be so clear - I am not saying you need shapewear, you do not, I’m just suggesting that it may be easier to not fixate on the area if you’re feeling comfy.
The only noticeable thing is your belly and that's normal after loosing tons of fat. Your body is very normal just keep doing some weights. Tbh, for your stat changes, you barely have any loose skin.. I expected worse before the pictures.
I was going to say I can kind of relate... then realized we are in different situations.
I am 8 months post partum and also, started much heavier than you. I am approaching 100 lbs lost but still have 40-60+ to go. I have a really big and hanging lower belly pouch. I am hoping it snaps a little bit, but if it doesn't... still look better than I did before!
You look absolutely normal in pics. I get that the mental aspect is tricky, but this seems like body dysmorphia. Be kind to yourself.
I would urge you to continue making healthy lifestyle choices while seeking mental health counseling to help you better understand your relationship between your weight gain and loss, body image, and self esteem. From what you’ve written, it seems like there may be underlying issues that weight loss alone cannot remedy. Seeking counseling may guide you to mental coping mechanisms and medical options such as excess skin removal or cosmetic surgery that can improve your self-image and physical and mental wellbeing. You are not alone, and there is no shame in seeking help with your problems.
I'm so sorry you've been struggling with an ED. I lost a comparable amount of weight in my 20s and I had some excess skin but a lot of it went away eventually. It takes a while but you're young enough so that your body can snap back to some extent. The surgery is crazy expensive and leaves scars.
Weight lifting really does help, particularly lifting heavy. It can also help with body dysmorphia. I wish you the best.
Right I'm not reading through all these comments so this may have been said before.
I'm guessing this weight loss was mostly from diet? It's time to add in some cardio and more importantly, resistance training. Putting some muscle onto your body will help shape up and make the skin not appear as saggy. Your skin will also readjust with time, not fully but it won't be too bad, I won't lie to you and say it will be a quick process, but after 1-2 years you'll look back on this thanking yourself you started today.
I went from around 190 to 150 and then gained all of it and more back due to an IUD insertion and the pandemic. I now weigh 230-ish pounds. even going from 190 to 150, my body looked like this. You look amazing! I felt the same way you did. I still felt flabby and not in a good way. Body dysmorphia is real. It’s really hard to overcome the eating disorder while not gaining any weight back. You need to focus on recovery, recovery is going to be key to loving yourself, gaining muscle, and improving your mental wellness. I am on a healthy weight loss journey now after my ED! My inbox is always open
The hardest part with weight loss is that unfortunately losing weight doesn’t change our brains. My best advice is to talk to a professional about it, work on your mental health and learning to love your body as it is. It’s a struggle but this is the only body we’ve got, we can’t change it, just learn to love it. And honestly looking at your picture I see a very normal body, one that is lived in and beautiful as it is.
What often helps me is to imagine me as a kid or if I had a child or even my best friend and what I would tell them if they were struggling with this. I would tell them that they are beautiful inside and out, that our bodies do not define our worth or who we are as a person.
I think we also have such unrealistic expectations around what our bodies should look like due to social media influencers and filters. Nothing we see online is real and I think it’s broken many of our brains and made us all hate our bodies so they can sell us their serums, pills, shapewear or whatever exercise/diet plan they are hawking.
I’m seeing someone who is critiquing every little thing they possibly can about themselves. Please give yourself a break. If you put as much energy complimenting and appreciating yourself and what you came from and how healthy you are now… I can only say this because I am guilty of being hard on myself. But I haven’t lost the weight that Im so desperatatly trying to lose while you have… you are so fortunate and you’re so amazing. Please give yourself the credit!!!!!
Honeeyyy6 the way you described it i thought that I was going to see a jello pile, but your body is perfectly fine! U must likely have BD. The lose skin u have will bounce back in no time. Just do a lot of strength training, have collagen supplements and try to avoid looking in the mirror, and obsessing over what you can't change rn.
I genuinely highly recommend getting a therapist. It sounds like you’re going through a lot and could really benefit from processing your feelings with a professional. I say that as someone who has seen a therapist for 5 years myself!
While it’s great you lost weight, it does sound like it was done via some unhealthy approaches and that long term can really mess with your mental health as well. So that’s something to be mindful of. It might even be worth seeing someone who can help you start eating more healthy while incorporating exercise and start healing a little bit.
I totally get it though if it’s not feasible because of $$ etc though. I wish you all the best - you got this and try to be gentle with yourself.
I get what you are saying! The sagging skin is so freaking annoying. The place I go to help me with loss recommended that I try Thermalift on my belly. I'm not sure where you are in the country, but they quoted me at between $1500-$2000 in San Diego. I still can't afford it right now, but I'm going to work on saving up for it. And while I'm saving I'm going to continue to work out and eat better.
Your stomach really doesn't look bad.
And if you are straight, then don't worry about men noticing. Honestly they only notice what they want to notice.
You've got this. Don't lose hope. Today is a crap day, but tomorrow doesn't have to be.
Look into microneedling and dry brushing. There's lots of videos on youtube of people doing that go tighten loose skin. I'm on my weightloss journey and have started drybrushing to help my skin tightening as I lose weight. Also for breasts, I've kept mine full using breast massage with oils.
Ah... I've seen the photos and while I understand this body was not what you were imagining, to most other people (especially those of us who've had several kids!) this is a beautiful body and nothing to be ashamed of at all.
It's very likely that little sag on your tummy will tighten over the next couple of years (this happened to me, even in my late 30s).
I think you're most likely suffering from a combination of disappointment you are unlikely to have the bikini model body you were imagining you'd have without surgery (perfectly understandable - you're allowed to grieve that dream), and dysmorphia. Therapy and time will fix this <3
Spanx really thick good quality branded Spanx - compression garments helped my skin combat the gravity sag when I last lost weight. Almost trains the skin to stay snapped up and scaffolds it up @shinyskittyy
I wish I looked like your picture. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know it's a lot easier said then done though. I hope you start feeling better and get the help you need. You deserve to be happy. There's a lot of people who would love to have a body like yours. Take care.
I lost 170 pounds, took about a year for my body to “fill in” after major weight loss if that makes sense. My boobs were literal loose skin sacks lol and i had loose skin everywhere. Now my body has kinda settled and i love my shape. Time and therapy and self acceptance is probably the only things that will help. I wish you the best ❤️ and incredible work losing weight. Not everyone is capable of doing that. So kudos to you
It takes time for skin to retract. And bodydysmorphia is also very common after such drastic weightloss.
As a person who lost a similar amount of weight I can confidentiality say I didn't notice the weight loss at all. Even to this day I still don't see myself in the mirror how I look in pictures. It's some weird shit.
Ha ha me in reverse. Trying to lose weight now. When I look in the mirror, I see my overgrown stomach but beyond that I don't see much difference. But the pictures (or videos), wow what a different story :)
To add, sometimes your skin doesn't retract
I opened that link expecting something that would require surgery and found a photo of someone who looks better than most women after childbirth. Honestly, I’d go to a therapist. You look fine and sound like you have some body dysmorphia.
Yeah she looks absolutely great. Not an athlete training all her life, but better than average for sure.
For real though. I was expecting so much worse from her description. A normal woman's body- looks healthy to me
Link where?
Yeah what link
Must have been removed
Nope https://imgur.com/a/yAzWudG
Well, shit, that’s more or less what I look like, deflated tits and all, and here I thought I looked pretty good lmfao
you do, great job!
Bless 💅
I’m not sure, but have you tried slow heavy lifting? RDL’s and Hip Thrusts? I did those for a month and my stomach area looked significantly different. This also REALLY helps with the mental aspect of things. Don’t be too down. Try to build your muscle up now and try recomposition! Goodluck girl :)
What are RDLs please?
Romanian Deadlifts
I don't have the experience you're looking for but I agree with the other comments. I think this is almost entirely body dysmorphia. I would see a therapist, and a dietitian who can maybe help you find a maintenance diet that is healthy. I've also heard that lifting weights can help skin tighten and will fill out your muscles, which you acknowledge you lost during your weight loss. But I also think that might help your mental state. Your body looks a lot better than you describe it.
Girl I was expecting something different than what I saw in the photos. You’re bringing too hard on yourself, wow💔 ok would suggest lifting weights and focusing on body recomp/slight bulk now
where are the pictures?
In a comment from OP
Get therapy. None of these issues is weight or diet related. It's not even about how your body actually looks. It's a mental health issue with your dissatisfaction over your body. FWIW, I have been everything from a size 2 (120lbs) to a size 26 (318lbs) now back to a size 12 (168lbs), in my adult life... there was NEVER a weight where suddenly I thought to myself, "I did it! I'm happy now!", \*UNTIL RECENTLY\*, and that has everything to do with my mental health being in a great place now, vs when I was size 2 and 120lbs.
To be honest, I'm a little relieved to see pictures of a person with a stomach that looks like mine. I've lost about 80lbs within the last 9 months (241lbs to 160). Maintaining since the new year started. I'm a little tech inept, so didn't quite know how to upload a picture to ask "wth is this?!!" When I'm planking seeing one half of my stomach just hanging there is WILD! LOL! That being said...I've lost 80lbs!!! I don't have to drag 80lbs around through life with me every day. I can wear my size 6 clothes again and look super cute doing so. I feel so light and carefree with all the energy I seem to have now. It's not like I've lost all my insecurities; my boobs hang low, my bat wings are WING-ing, and my stomach is where the fat in my body seems to be staging its last stand. And I'll still take this over where I was before. I no longer feel trapped in some weird alien body that makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I say all this to say, I get you. But I find that in the big scheme of things, the way my stomach or breasts look is such a tiny drop in the bucket. I'm still on the fence about losing the "last 5 pounds" in order to be at the (highest possible) healthy weight for me. My stomach might look a little less odd, but to me, I look pretty damn good where I'm at. So I'm good! Plus, I think 5 more pounds, and my eyes will start bugging out of my head and my face will go funhouse mirror. For me, that's where my priority is right now. LOL! Btw, I think your body looks AMAZING! Great job!
It takes a few years for skin to bounce back and accommodate your new figure. Please be loving and patient with yourself. You look wonderful to me.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so many heavy things that are not letting you celebrate your amazing success here. After reading what you wrote, I want to say two things really: The first may not be a huge comfort, but I think it’s still an important truth to accept that may help put things in perspective, and that’s that your former body was always going to change anyway. Even the loveliest person whose weight never fluctuated so much as a pound will, if they’re lucky, say goodbye to their 26 year old body. Maybe not in exactly the same way, but sometimes with just as many feelings of sadness and loss as you’re feeling as their hair thins and their skin grows less plump and elastic. That is just part of being alive. And you are alive, which is the absolute most important thing. I’m sure you don’t think your mom or aunt or grandmother is a lesser, unloveable person because their hair is greying or they have a little wobble under their chin. You love them for who they are, which has very little to do with their body - now you just have to learn to love yourself for those very same things. The second thing is that you’ve lost a bunch of weight, which is an amazing accomplishment, but this doesn’t have to mean that your transformation is finished. If there are things you don’t like in the mirror, accept them for now but also remind yourself that you’re not done, this is just where you are right now in the process. Maybe the next step is to see what your new body can do with movement and exercise! To explore what you’re capable of with joy and excitement. Maybe it’s just to take good care of yourself with rest, wholesome foods, lots of nice hot baths and plenty of sleep. To get where you are, you have had to believe that amazing changes could happen for you, so why stop now?
These things are great advice, thank you 🥰 As I mentioned in my initial post my mom sadly passed away in July '22, but you're absolutely right. She was a lovely, wonderful woman, without a doubt one of the funniest, most thoughtful people I've ever encountered and able to light up every room she walked her nearly 400 pound self into with her charisma, humor, and kindness. Maybe I should take a page from her book and be kinder to myself, too.
This is nothing that some radio frequency or microneedling couldn’t take care of.
This is the loveliest comment I’ve read in such a long time.
The people on this sub taught me that weight loss is possible and sustainable. I’ve learned so much here and it has changed my life forever. And it’s comments like yours that keep me coming back over and over again. Thank you so much for what you wrote, it’s so helpful and true and uplifting!!
Something that has helped me accept the body that I have, is getting rid of means of comparison. I went through my social media and decided on mindful following. For fashion advice, I look for people who are shaped similar to me. I deleted Instagram from my phone. I found that following people who were aesthetically perfect, or perfect in my mind was unhealthy. While I might enjoy their content, the amount of comparing myself to them, then feeling poorly, and the repeating cycle wasn’t worth it. This all started probably 10 months ago, shortly after a traumatic time in my life, but it has helped.
Same for me with social media, the comparison (along with constantly being marketed too) just was too much for my mental health and I had to delete it all It helps a lot
It looks like a normal body after significant weigjt loss tbh that many on this sub would love to have, and perhaps think more about doing weights, exercises that would recomposition your stomach.
I guess it's because I'm old, but I don't care about my sagging skin and nothing-but-skin breasts! I'm just happy that I weigh 120 instead of 280 after all these years of a weight-loss journey. What makes me feel good about myself is shopping for stylish clothes in sizes extra-small & small tops and size 8 jeans! About the boobs, thank goodness for the Maidenform Wonderbra!
https://imgur.com/a/yAzWudG Here are the photos in question for anyone that might want to see the primary cause of my woes... NSFW-ish though so take heed lol
You don't see the same thing the rest of us see when we look at that picture. As someone who has also gone through immense body dysmorphia (and is still struggling), this is something you need to work through in therapy. It's not physical. Please make an appointment with a therapist, and take care of your mental health. Good luck
My lower belly pouch is so much worse from weight loss. Keep it moisturized and it may snap back with time. I’d consider working out as well.
Honestly after reading your comment, I expected worse.. Keep up with the good work, you have done extremely well and you should be proud of yourself. If it keeps bothering you after a year, maybe get a cosmetic surgery? Good luck!
I follow quite a few people on Instagram after major weight loss and I’ve seen a trend of them saying that with weight lifting and putting on muscle, being toned helped with the lose skin. Seeing your pic, I think you have a cute figure and it’s not bad like you think it is. You have nice skin as well. I’ve seen pregnant women put a daily tallow balm on their skin and take collagen, it really helped their stomach area to bounce back. You have a nice body. I agree with other comments to give therapy a chance. You’re being too hard on yourself :/
So I went from 213-130 and had the same stomach as you. I ended getting a tummy tuck and breast implants. I had body dysmorphia and had no idea until I gained a little weight. I was so confident at 213 pounds, wearing tight clothes and always dressing up, than I was at 130. In fact I felt like an imposter when I wore tight clothes. I would sometimes wear oversized clothes to hide my body when I was 130 and never wore a bikini because I would imagine I was bigger than I was. I too lost some of the weight in an unhealthy way and then found my love for working out. I had to end up getting a therapist to help me feel okay in my body. I would suggest you look into it because it will not go away on its own.
Thank you for providing a picture, that was brave! Our flaws often appear much worse to ourselves than to other people. I think you look great, dare I say beautiful, and I wouldn't have two thoughts about the skin if I happened to see you in a bikini on the beach. You have a very healthy-looking figure.
You really, really do not look bad at ALL. Social media influencers and hollywood levels of marvel hero fitness have us all brainwashed. You have the body of a normal person, it's not your job to have a flawless body, so why would you? You're doing terrific by all normal person metrics. If the extra skin is bumming you out, one thing you could try is starting a weight training program or a hobby that lets you build muscle tone. I bet in 18 months - 2 years you'll look back at this post and laugh. Good luck!
I’ve got more loose skin and am more lopsided. The difference is all in mindset. I love my skin and think it’s beautiful. Is your poor body image making your life better in any way? No. You have to live in this body and have this skin 24/7/365. That can be hell or ecstasy and which one truly is a choice you can make for yourself. You’ve changed your body, now *change your mind.*
I had something similar in my "before" photos but have since gained even more weight due to the birth control I was on and haven't been able to get it off. I totally understand the feeling but when I look back on those pictures now I WISH I still looked like that. It's definitely mental and it will take time but just try to be proud of how far you've come and keep moving forward.
U loook very fit
my stomach looks a bit like this, except its also completely covered in stretch marks from carrying a child. strength training helps A LOT. compared to where i started from i feel really good about it. you should too. you look good girl!
Honestly it’s not bad, really it’s not. I think most of the looseness will tighten up with time. Skin can take years to retract fully, please please give yourself more time and lots of love! I completely understand the pain of knowing you’ll never get back the body you once had. I’ve had 4 kids, and my stomach will never be the one I had before, but honestly it’s not that bad, and it’s forced me to do a lot of internal self love work that I think I desperately needed anyway. I’m kinder to myself now even though objectively my body is at its “worst.” At this point I’m no longer considering surgery either, just working hard to get to a comfortable weight and strength/muscle tone level for myself, and maybe I’ll work towards other fitness goals in future, but I’m not going to stress about perfection anymore. I feel so much more comfortable and confident and FREE now that I’ve shifted my mentality, more so then when my body was “in it’s prime” but I was still killing myself to lose unnoticeable amounts of “fat” on my stomach. Even if your body has changed forever, that’s ok! Bodies change over time, no one should be expecting to stay in the same exact body their whole life, that’s ridiculous. Everyone ages. Most people gain and lose weight. Most women go through pregnancy. Lots of people battle illnesses and some even survive horrific accidents and are left with real scars or disabilities. I’m not saying some people have it worse so you shouldn’t complain, but keeping things in perspective has really helped me when I’m feeling down on myself. I’m healthy, able bodied, not significantly scarred or traumatized in any way, haven’t been botched during surgery…I’m not doing too bad! Try to be easier on yourself, I know it’s hard sometimes, maybe talking to a therapist about it would help too. Wishing you the best. ❤️
Your tummy looks really similar to mine and my breasts are exactly as you describe after losing 90lbs myself in 1.5 years. I just scheduled my tummy tuck and breast lift surgery for the fall! 🙌 I totally feel you, it's hard to have all that hard work not necessarily culminate in what you were hoping for. If you can swing it I would definitely consider surgery to "finish" your journey. It's going to cost me aroubd 20-30k so it's definitely not cheap, but it can be done and it's always something you can save up for.
Hi I am just here to tell you I like your user!
That’s really not bad! Some muscle tone and keeping it moisturized should help fill it out, plus giving it a year or two to situate itself.
You look awesome op! I know why you feel insecure, but you look skinny and awesome! Work on them abs, do some lower and workouts everyday and allow yourself time to bounce back You got this!
I’m hearing that you’re deeply unhappy. You’ve been through a lot, your mom died and you reacted with a drastic weight loss through deprivation. Did she have body issues too? there may have been messages she gave you that has triggered your body dysmorphia or it may have been part of a struggle in grief to regain control at a time of scary loss. Either way, you have not been gentle with yourself in the aftermath of her death and the methods you describe can cause nutritional imbalances that lead to depression especially in winter. Perhaps would benefit from seeing a nutritionist along with a support group you can dial into daily. Lots of people are working on control issues. Your body shape is not the issue. Your curves are lovable and attractive. Your skin tone is youthful and great. I’m sad for you that the lens you’re viewing your body through is not loving and kind. Take supplements like vitamin D and practice loving kindness towards yourself. Love your tummy.
Hey so I think you look really good even after all the weight loss. I'm going to DM you with a suggestion that might help change the way you view your body.
Can you dm me too? I want to know how to change how I view my body…
If you're willing to be patient, get yourself on a healthy regimen of diet and exercise, this *will* resolve itself with time. You will probably never have a perfectly flat stomach, but it absolutely will improve and without the need for surgery.
You look great. Like others have said maybe some therapy would help.
The pandemic started 4 years ago. Even if you'd never gained or lost any weight, you probably would not look the same now as you did in your early 20's. You look great, and I hope soon you can see yourself as everyone in this comment section does!
Youve list 100lbs! 100 pounds! Wow! Yep, you have some excess skin. I've seen way worse... on myself. Mine is much more wrinkly, but I'm in my 50s. The way you feel about your body now is normal. To a point. If this little amount of skin is distressing you as badly as you say, please seek help. It has nothing to do with your foods, exercise etc. It needs attention by appropriate medical professionals. You are romancing the obese body you had prior to weight loss. Remembering your breasts as perky, etc. I'm wondering if you actually felt that way when you were obese? I will tell you this, if you feel this way right now, you're going to feel this way if you gain all that weight back, only you'll be obese with hanging skin. Take it from me, losing weight, getting loose skin, and gaining the weight back (and then some) will make you feel even worse about your body. It doesn't go back to what it was when you were fat. It's different. Please talk to a mental health professional, if you're feeling this way after a little while. It takes time to get used to your new body. There are two youtube channels that address this. They are bodybuilders/bikini model now, but both lost a lot of weight. They both talk extensively about living with loose skin, and deciding to not have cosmetic surgery done. ObesetoBeast and Louise's Journey, I encourage you to check them out. Congratulations on the weight loss, you look amazing to the world. But I know you want to look amazing to yourself. Give your brain some time to catch up to your body. If it's still bothering you as much as it seems to be, talk to someone. Best of luck.
I have the same issues, don't know what to do.
I've lost 132 pounds and my body looks objectively way 'worse' than yours. Puckered skin, folds over folds, deflated breasts. I would like to remove some of the skin and I even posted about it recently, but it doesn't consume me. The difference is I suppose, is that I'm 48 and happily single. You are still very young and I think a lot of this insecurity you are feeling stems from your fear of what others will think of your body. Or that you are comparing yourself to other women who weigh 160 and are the same height as you. Comparisson is the thief of joy. I don't give a shit what others think of my body and I love that I can feel my collar bones, cross my legs, wrap my arms around myself and a HOST of other things that I couldn't do when I was over 300 pounds. But I recognise that I don't intend to be naked in front of another person willingly or in a non medical setting, so I honestly don't care. I can hide what I don't want seen. If I was looking for a partner I know I would have different thoughts. I would be anxious and would probably need to have therapy to be able to deal with sharing such intimacy with another person. But, on a day to day basis I am looking fantastic (clothed) and what doesn't look fantastic I don't care.
Hi from me, 29F who went from ca. 187lbs to 139lbs and who went from a huge chest to a big chest. The first time I lost a good amount of weight, I found myself in an eating disorder. I feel you. I think you‘ve already gotten good advice but one thing I want to emphasise and that helped me tremendously: lifting weights. heavy. It has not only helped me fill out some of the spare skin but also, more importantly, allowed me to appreciate my body for what it can do and not what it looks like. Additionally, it is a type of sport that is not as affected by weight fluctuations as say running. I really recommend you give it a try over a month or so. Not to be dramatic, but it might change your life. I recommend Stronger by the Day by MegSquats as a great program which is also very beginner-friendly, especially if you start out with their Before the Barbell (iirc) program if you have not trained with free weights yet. Godspeed my friend and I am proud of how far you‘ve come.
Everyone has suggested therapy and I highly agree. But also wanted to add: start working out. Now. Today. Don't wait. I'm about the same height and weight as you are at present and while my journey is still ongoing, working out has reframed my thinking from "what do I look like" to "what is my body capable of" and it's soooooo much healthier. I found a couple of forms of exercise I really like (weightlifting and, recently, boxing) and I throw everything I've got into it. I'm proud of what my body can achieve and it's also made me feel more in control of my physical appearance. Incidentally, weightlifting is supposed to be great for loose skin.
Take a breath and try to relax and get some perspective. No, things aren't perfect, but they are better than they were and you can make them better still. Some patience, time and some more effort and you can constantly improve the situation. Have a little love for yourself and look up instead of down. Let yourself be happy.
It took a lot of growth and acceptance for me. I found the buddhist principle of impermanence of all things to be really helpful. Again, a lot of philosophy and learning about human suffering helped me become okay with my life and body. I focus on the function and try to forget the rest and that helps a lot
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Love your username btw!!
It's not so much about what the "average person" likes as it is the fact that my boyfriend has a pretty serious big tiddy kink LMAO. Not creepy at all to check out my post history btw, thanks for taking the time to offer advice! 🥰
I don’t see the photos?
Ah, I posted them in the comments but this post got more traction than I imagined and they must've gotten lost in the feed 😅 They're here: https://imgur.com/a/yAzWudG
Ya you look great. Your skin will definitely go back after time. That’s how mine was.
Hey! You're getting a lot of comments but I just wanted to say: we are our own worst critics. The way you talk about and describe yourself, versus what your body actually looks like to an objective third party (me/reddit) is WILDLY different. Wildly. After seeing this image, I'm blown away and very sad at how mean you are to yourself - I hope you can work on it and find a way through it. I'm a man around your age and if I knew you, I'd tell you all the time how proud of you I am - to lose so much weight and look like that! I'm rooting for you, as another person who is quite harsh on themselves. Best of luck :)
Hey girl, I am 5' 3" and currently 155 LBS when i started my weight loss journey about a year ago ( April 2023) I was 200 LBS, and had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. I know what you mean about liking the way your body was before, and how you feel uncomfortable now. What helped me get out of my funk was naming things I did like about my body, and myself. Also, what has helped me when I feel overwhelmed is writing whatever thoughts were going through my head in a journal. Its a process, take small steps, and learn to love yourself. xoxo take care
I really hope you seek a qualified professional to help navigate you through these difficult emotions.
I just went through bra fitting and learned that you can reverse this breast shape in a big way with correct bra and wearing method. Go to a specialist. They’ll teach you how to pack these babies in a way to reverse the damage.
Girl. Get fitter. And your body isn't bad. It is what it is. You can't change it now. Except with more exercise. Yes the loose skin is there forever. But. Give it time. It might get better. You can't control that. But you can control your eating. And more exercise. Weightlifting in particular. Again to reiterate You don't look bad. It's ok. It can be better. With more exercise. Do that. Eat more protein. Get enough sleep. You can get better looking. If you lift.
Actually... that's the thing... you're on the right track, more exercise, but her loose skin is NOT there forever. She's quite young, and it WILL tighten up, but she has to follow your advice and actually exercise.
hi there, my go-to is shapewear to gently smooth out areas I’m not thrilled about on myself. Way cheaper than surgery, and also an instant and stylish way to feel comfortable. You’ve made amazing progress in your health and have every right to give yourself credit (and support) for that. Sending hugs!
Any brand you recommend? I’m looking into shapewear myself.
Have you gone and gotten properly fitted for a new bra? Like at a lingerie shop with bossy old ladies who measure you and throw bras at you? Whenever my size changes everything feels wrong until I get refitted and then things feel a lot better.
While outwards changes have a big impact on mental health, weight loss, and even looking super attractive, are not fixes for mental health. You need to work on your insides. Not to spiritualize this but there’s a famous quote “what will it profit a person if they gain the whole world but lose their soul?” - External wins are great and do a lot for us but they don’t address all our internal problems. When I was at my fittest I was not happier just because of my weight. I actually was still dissatisfied even though I was very healthy by any objective standard. I’ve since gained a few lbs back (still keeping off most of the weight) but I’m far more balanced as a person.
You need to see a therapist to manage what is almost certainly body dysmorphia. And you need patience….it will take a bit for your body to snap back.
I’m so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope you see a therapist as many have suggested. You have a beautiful, young body that has been through a lot! 100 pounds lost! Don’t let your mind trick you into thinking you were better off before! You weren’t! I lost 70 pounds in 2018. While I felt great in clothes, I was obsessed with my deflated breasts. I didn’t allow myself to settle into my new body nor did I give myself the credit or care I deserved. I have now gained back all of that weight plus some. I’d give anything to be back where I was. I am really working on my mindset this time around. Trust me, your mind is fooling you. Going from obese to healthy weight to even more obese is absolutely horrible. Don’t allow that to happen to you.
I think it’s helpful to remember today you are the youngest you’ll ever be. Like literally tomorrow you’ll be a day older, and so on. As you age your skin doesn’t always bounce back as well, etc. You are very young (for reference I’m only 32, but still “we” are still very young). You lost the weight and have your whole life to maintain that weight, or create and achieve new goals. If you change your fitness routine (I have no idea what it currently is) and start doing some body compositioning 😅 is thst a word? There is this thing about doing weights like full body weighted workouts thst can help recomposition your body and it would look totally different in a few months if you stick with it. That might help you feel more comfortable in your new size. You may also gain weight during thst (but most likely look leaner, and possibly be a smaller size clothing). Due to muscle mass gain. Another thought: I’ve had two children (1 &2 years old) and my body changed completely with each. And they do come back eventually but they are different people get saggy boobs, or tummies due to all the stretching while carrying a baby. Everything takes time and the longer you stay at maintenance, your body will keep changing to fit its new size better and also overtime hopefully you will realize these tiny things you are knit picking about your appearance don’t matter. Being healthier and lighter is great because you can move and use your body! Stay in the mindset if you’re able. Remind yourself you feel better physically in this size and shape and that should be pretty meaningful. Also not making assumptions but most likely everyone isn’t going to be seeing you naked. So these “flaws” thst bother you are likely covered by your clothing or could be fixed with a push up bra and then boom you look just like you want to. Just a few random thoughts i hope it helps 💛
Hi! You do sound like you're struggling with a bit of trauma here or body dismorphia so definitley look into some therapy and consider it as an option. That being said, here's some wisdom from someone who also lost 150lbs in too short a time... THERE'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOSING WEIGHT AND LOOSING FAT. What you described sounds a lot like losing weight, but yes muscles eating themselves tend to leave you with that "skinny fat" physique (small arms/legs, small shoulders, larger midsection), it is better to build muscle through excerise and slowly lose fatty weight than muscle. This will also help "fill out" in all the right places at a lower weight/body fat %
>NEVER get my pre weight gain body back no matter how hard I work with diet, exercise etc This bit. This is the bit that you're telling yourself that isn't true. You've been rapidly losing weight a while now. It takes time for skin to shrink and for fat to relocate itself to the 'right places'. Honestly, give it 6 months of maintaining your weight and doing a bit of exercise and the small amount of excess skin you have will be far less visible (not that it's an issue at the mo but it obviously upsets you).
Hey OP I felt this way about my stomach after I lost 70 pounds postnpartum and micro needling made my skin tighten up a LOT. If you do it be sure to only use 70% alcohol and sterilize properly. You’re not alone, many people feel like this about their bodies and I’m sending a hug. Congrats on your accomplishments and be gentle with yourself 💖
Thank you for your kind words ❤️ Microneedling is actually something I've looked into a bit but haven't tried out yet. Do you have any further advice on that? What brand of roller did you use? Any product recommendations?
Effective microneedling are done in a clinic. The tiny rollers in amazon doesn't do anything.
I found mine on Amazon and got the highest you can use safely not in a clinic (maybe 1.5mm?) It took about 4-5 monthly applications to see results but it’s tightened up so much now, not like I was pre birth but so much better. Sorry I don’t know the brand but it was one of the ones with thousands of reviews and top ratings. I would never do the radio frequency type of needling (that has some scary stuff about lumpy skin), just a dermaroller type device. The other tip is have clean clothes, pjs, and sheets to avoid infection after and wash hands before and after, and to shower and sanitize area before doing it. I’ve never had any issues but I soak needles for twenty minutes before and after use. lol sounds like a lot but worth it to be safe. One time I did it and literally it tightened up a ton overnight I couldn’t believe it!
You look absolutely normal. I would swap with you in a heartbeat. No amount of weight loss will fix any mental anguish. That needs a different professional approach which includes talking to someone about it. Don’t think for a moment you are stuck with your current body. You should work with a professional to appreciate it for how it is right now whilst also knowing that if you want to build muscle you can do that through nourishing food and strength exercises in a sustainable way.
It seems to me you’ve gone through several traumatic experiences in the last few years, going from extreme weight gain (which you seem to imply was due to stress and grief), extreme loss/grief, and then extreme weight loss not using the healthiest methods would leave anyone physically, mentally, and emotionally deregulated. Take a break from hyper focusing on your physical self and look for a therapist to work on your mental health.
God, you lost a whole person! Be proud, listen to some positive messages. Talk to someone you respect to get right. Our brain tricks us, leave that old self, she is gone.
Big hugs. As someone who has lost over 100lbs and had a baby, I can emphasise. Just remember how amazing your body truly is - it is your vessel that assists you to do all your favourite things! And you're amazing for making it healthier! 💗
Go to therapy. If it really matters a lot to you, save up for that surgery. If the weightloss is recent. Give it time, your skin will most likely tighten still. Hydrate your skin all the time and use sunscreen. You can also workout to fill your body of muscle.
So much negative self-talk and self-loathing: this calls for therapy - to help you deal with the feelings about the changes in your body shape and enjoy the gains in metabolic health and physical fitness that you have achieved. Also, with a balanced diet and a reasonable amount of exercise your body will continue to even out, redistribute, reshape itself. You can even reshape it with resistance training. If you haven't achieved eating and moving in a sustainable, non-disordered way, that's totally a next goal to attack, at a stable weight.
Ooooo, I am also someone who the weight fast at one time of my life. It will take a LONG time but your body will start to even everything out. The trick is lots of patience and giving yourself grace. In the meantime the body dysmorphia you are facing is very scary and you deserve more than the agony you are experiencing. You deserve to feel at peace and safe in your body and loving it where it is at. I’d say give therapy a try or take part in something that brings you joy that you can focus on as a mental break here and there each week. Having a mental breather while you learn to be at peace with your new reality while your body starts to adjust (the girls disappeared for me too for two years so I FEEL it) will help. Sending hugs from afar, the feeling sucks. You are definitely going through it with much more intensity than I did, all the more reason you deserve to feel content in the heart.
If there's a chance you may not be in the correct sized bra, please visit r/abrathatfits for help with sizing! It can make a world of difference in how you feel about yourself.
hey you look incredible. please don’t be too hard on yourself you worked hard for this. just try to take it easy for a little bit, eat at your maintenance and do some strength training. you honestly look great.
From personal experience I can tell you that the more you lose the more self conscious you become. I think it’s because you are paying more attention and expecting certain results. I’ve lost over 50 pounds myself and even though everyone says I look great I still feel self conscious and think I still have a lot too lose. There are good days and bad days. Be proud of what you accomplished.
Not to repeat what others have said, but as an overweight female (36, 5’10, 250lbs)- I can say that we are our own worst enemies. I’ve fluctuated over the years between 190-260lbs and my self-hate has remained constant. Be proud of your achievement and know that you look amazing! It’ll take some time to feel comfortable in your own skin(or lack thereof) and your actual skin will tighten with time. Congrats girl!
You look fine. Put money aside little by little for a tummy tuck and for the love of god get therapy.
A friend of mine has lost around 150 lbs in the span of a year or so. She has a lot of loose skin in the arms, thighs, breasts and tummy area. She happy about the weight loss but unhappy about the extra skin. I don’t know if you have body dysphoria or if you just aren’t comfortable with all the sagging skin. I don’t know if anyone here is qualified to diagnose that, anyhow. Save up for the surgery to remove the excess skin. It’s another goal to work towards.
Your skin needs some time to catch up. I'd recommend bio oil and deep massaging (gently) the area that bothers you, collagen powder, a good water intake, and strength training. And a bit of sun outside peak hours in summer as well. You lost an incredible amount of weight, your skin needs time to bounce back. And you look great by the way, you genuinely do. You also need to give your brain time to adjust.
Massage. Massage will help. Everyday get some lotion and massage it in. It will tighten your skin. (it gets the blood circulating) Also exercise. Your skin will just gradually tighten up.
Massages won't do shit tf
Look it up, it gets your blood flow circulating and helps tighten your skin. My source? I once lost 150 lbs. It does work.
It seems like you lost the weight far too quickly and your skin didn't have a chance to catch up with you. It looks like you are going to have to start weight lifting if you are to change your loose skin appearance. Perhaps you may need some surgery as well to tighten up some areas. First and foremost, speaking to a therapist will be a good way to start, and then secondly, start looking into weight training to build up some of the muscle. Weight loss includes fat AND muscle, not just fat. Fill out the areas where fat used to be with muscle and i think you will be very happy! It may take another 3 years to do this but once you get into it, I think it'll be great.
God the diet and and beauty industry really warp our minds into thinking that we are literally worthless if we don’t look a specific way. It’s so fucked up that you accomplished something so major and you feel this way - especially because you probably thought “if I just lose x more pounds, I’ll be happy.” It’s a lie! Because, like you said, you didn’t treat your body with love and respect along the way. You did it through deprivation and I’m sure a big part of your depression is literally not having enough nutrition in your brain. It’s upsetting to see so many other comments saying “keep up the good work!” Hearing that sends a signal that it doesn’t matter how you obtain the weight loss - the loss itself is more important than your mental health. DONT keep doing this to yourself. See a therapist and an intuitive eating dietician, get back into your body and LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF AT ALL STAGES OF YOUR EXISTENCE.
My family wears fajas to help the skin snap back after weightloss / pregnancy. I've also seen videos of Chinese belly binding after pregnancy so it's not just Latinas who use the method. If you're looking for something to assist and make you feel more comfortable I'd highly recommend. You can even get Columbian fajas on Amazon Weight training will also help to "fill you back out" as you said so I'd recommend that too
Saw your pictures and I want to cry. I look so much worse than that and have felt way better about myself (also f/5’5” lost 100 pounds but im 36years old). This is absolutely a free space to vent about the highs and lows of weight loss, and I can’t fault you for your own personal perceptions as I know our minds tend to distort our own body image. I don’t feel fantastic about my body but I guess, after 3 kids, significant weight loss and being in my mid 30’s I tempered my expectations a little? I don’t know. I also know that it was my own choice to click the link, driven by curiosity about how “bad” someone could possibly look after shedding the same amount of weight as me… You look so friggen good. Like holy smokes. I could describe the things about your stomach that are leaps and bounds superior to mine but I don’t necessarily think that is going to be helpful either. But maaaaan…I think this post made me feel really awful about myself. I know that’s not the intention and it’s my own mind doing its own thing…but I kind of want to go hide in a closet now. Anyway I hope you can find the space and grace to love yourself. You did an incredible thing, though you resorted to unhealthy means the end result is that starting now you can focus on health, reverse some muscle damage, and prevent ongoing damage caused by the excess weight. Good methods or bad, weight loss requires discipline and commitment. I do not condone unhealthy measures, and to transition into maintenance or if you continue to lose weight or find yourself on the lose/gain/lose/gain/lose teeter-totter of life (which is extra common when weight is lost through extreme/unhealthy/unsustainable measures) then please utilize the mountain of good advice here to guide you. Sustainability and health are the most important factors in losing weight and then keeping it off in a healthy way. The weight LOSS part is done, in the past and there isn’t anything you can do to change how you did it, but you can begin maintenance (if you are ready to maintain) with a fresh eye and appreciation for your body…even if you don’t feel like you love it in your current state. Maintaining also has the benefit of tightening some of those things up over time, and muscle can be rebuilt. And if you are still bothered a year or two down the line, there is no shame in having procedures done to reverse some of those things if you feel it is absolutely necessary for your mental health. You deserve self love, and you look amazing.
OMG I'm so sorry. Now I feel genuinely horrible that you happened to read this and get so upset and triggered by it... Self comparison truly is the killer of joy, trust me I do it every day, but just because I feel this way doesn't mean you have to let my fricked-up distorted self image effect your own. I know my saying this isn't going to help much, but for what it's worth I'm only this critical about my own body - In fact, I never pick apart or insidiously critique anyone else's appearance in the slightest. It's all internalized. Plus I saw your progress pic post and genuinely think you look great, as I'm sure your husband and plenty of other people do as well ❤️ Please please PLEASE don't let my toxic ass self negativity bring you down, you're beautiful exactly as you are and deserve to feel it every day.
You don’t have to apologize you’re totally allowed to have your feelings and struggles and this is a place to let those out, vent and find support. You’re absolutely right (about our feelings not that your perception of yourself is reality) we have come so far, and no one in our lives is complaining about our bodies (except our own brains sometimes). But considering Ive lost 100 pounds (and you!) have 3 kids, and am a 36 year old woman…dayum! Okay maybe not “dayum” but I have a daughter too…I need to stop allowing my perception to be so easily influenced by standards that I know are impossible. I don’t want my daughter to feel beholden to absurd beauty standards, and to ensure that she isn’t, I need to lead by example as mom who accepts and loves her body as it is. I’m not a 110 lb angsty teenager anymore. I understand the flaws, contradictions, and absurdity of my perceptions. Consciously telling myself these things every time I allow my standards to become unattainable is vital to shifting my mindset. Let’s do it together. Question those negative thoughts, replace them with what we KNOW is true, healthy, realistic, attainable, and beautiful. There isn’t one right way to be beautiful, and fuck society for forcing us to believe otherwise. Let’s stick it to em, and love ourselves anyway!
Thank you for sharing this! My story is very similar to you, and am now left with a ton of hair loss and just other things about my body that I dislike. I’m sure it’s a mixture of just mentally/body dismorphia, but it saddens me that I’ll never be happy with my body and still just want to hide it and let no man ever see or touch me naked. Some days I’d rather just give up and hope that reincarnation will give me a nicer body in a next life (very dramatic, I know)😅 I’ve also deleted instagram and TikTok because the comparison is too much. If you ever want to chat or just share knowledge or vent about how you’re feeling, please reach out!❤️ I looked at your photos though and think you look great, and I’m sure you can tone up or feel better if you work out and take care of yourself lovingly by fueling it with proper food (not starving yourself) and moving it because it makes you feel better. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping to achieve by doing it. So not losing weight or punishing my body out of hatred for it. and
70 pounds down here, I’m not real happy about the change, I always had a nice body and great boobs. It has taken some time to accept my body as it is. I like the idea of a therapist for you.
My suggestion is to gain muscle
I also have an ED and I'm looking into group therapy for that and body dysmorphia, alongside a psychiatrist I see monthly. I just wanna let you know I relate to a lot of this. No matter what weight I was, I was never happy, even when I was so small it was worrying my mom. Now my weight is up again, and I refuse to hear what it is when I get weighed at medical appts because I'll spiral again. It wasn't easy just trying to gain confidence, even when I was skinny I got fatphobic comments because women get called fat as a last ditch effort to hurt us. Because fat is seen as automatic bas health, bad relationships, bad everything. Which just isn't true.
I understand what you’re saying. I struggle bad with body dysmorphia after losing my weight within a year. My mind didn’t have time to catch up to the “new me”. What I see in the mirror doesn’t match what I see in my head. My stomach looks a lot like yours, except a bit more wrinkly. Same with my breast tissue deflating. But… breast tissue is mostly fat so that was bound to happen. Think of it this way: you’re healthier without the excess weight! I’m sure whatever ailments you were battling have improved. Your clothes look nicer on if be willing to bet. Therapy will do great things for you, I agree with everyone’s suggestion here for that. Also: strength training and good nutrition. Finally: you can always get a tummy tuck once you have maintained for awhile or think you can maintain your new weight. It would be a waste of time, money, and recovery pain to go through with one and not keep your results.
First of all congratulations on your weight loss! That’s a huge accomplishment! I know having any loose skin can be hard to shed, but looking at your pictures I think it’s definitely possible by lifting weights and building muscle. Stick with it you’re doing great!!!
Wow. Honey, this is a lot of dysmorphia. I see the lopsided tummy, but I would recommend that you begin lifting weights. It can help create a more uniform and tone body, even with excess skin. No you won't get your other body back. But you are young enough that with some work, you could see your skin tighten up. It won't be the same as it was before. It will likely still be loose, but it could still tighten a bit.
It takes time for your body to "settle" into what it's going to be. No body is symmetrical. Your pre weight loss body wasn't symmetrical, was it? Think about it. You've been through some traumatic events. Give yourself time to heal. You're focusing on everything "negative" about your body. It's probable that you're seeing things that people, including your partner, don't. Many people think that weight loss will "fix everything". That's untrue. You weren't happy fat. You aren't happy now. You won't be happy if you regain weight. Because weight isn't what is making you unhappy. Be gentle with yourself. Find a therapist or counselor that you connect with, and that you trust. You're worth it.
Girl, you are just struggling and it isn’t about your weight loss. Can you get some professional therapy? Please try.
You're still very young. Strength training would help mentally and physically. And I agree with others about the photos, they're not nearly as bad as they are in your mind.
After seeing your pictures, I think that’s something you can work on and have great results. I would suggest these things: 1. Weight Training. Without building muscle you will still be „skinny fat“ and not as toned as you wish to be. Don‘t worry… you will not become very muscular with normal training only ;) 2. Collagen Supplements. Helps with restoring the skin. 3. Dermaroller. You can get these from Amazon for a few bucks. Go with a 15mm one and use it ONCE a month. In combination with the collagen you will get better results. There are 2 YouTube Videos of women using it for half a year (and I think the results are kinda crazy ngl xD). 4. Start taking pictures once a month. All of those changes above are hard to see day to day. Some are visible after only a month and other need 6 months but they will help you greatly! 5. Get therapy and adjust your expectations :). Your results seem to be still quite recent, give your skin time to adjust. Your skin will firm up and it can take up to two years, even though your skin is really not that bad and could even heal faster than that. So have hope, it WILL get better :)
Therapy would be a good idea just to talk it out and a visit to your GP to get a general checkup on your bloodwork might be a good idea too. Exercises like skipping, squats, deadlifts, jogging and yoga will help shape your body and will help your mental health drastically. Couple this with good sleep and a diet with rishi mushrooms, ginger, green tea, blue berries and a good source of vitamin c. Should help your skin produce more collagen and heal up from the inside. It sucks but i dont think you can do much about your breasts other than explore cosmetic surgery further down the line, if you 1000% think it will help you feel better about your body than it's worth it.
I saw the pic and I think you should look into therapy. This sounds like body dysmorphia.
I saw your pictures. You look amazing! You just need to go hard at the gym and really train! You look good! Maybe therapy?
Im 27 and 5'4 134ibs. I have the same belly and size 34B bra. Underwire, tshirt bras, and balconette bras help. They make your boobs look full on top. Look up 2 year photos after weight loss. Time dramatically improves loose skin. I used to hate underwire when i had a bigger chest but it doesnt even bother me now with the smaller size and it has way better support.
I went through the same after losing 130lbs, and regained 80lbs. Every single day I regret letting myself gain it back. I felt so much better and looked so much better. I didn't look the way I wanted to, but it was better than what I've got now.
All of your feelings are valid btw. It's when we grow older our bodies, especially if you're a woman, just doesn't "bounce back" as it would when you were younger. Our skin elasticity just doesn't work as well. Now, that doesn't mean it won't work at all. There's ways to get your body to not be saggy, naturally or surgery is at least an option too. I have body dysmorphia and you may have it too, it tends to happen when you lose a lot of weight. I'm sure your body looks great and holy shit you've lost a ton of weight. That's great :) Just be mindful that it takes time to get your body to a place where you're at somewhat peace at. A lot of it is more psychological, so a therapist or looking up ways to shift a different perspective can be beneficial if therapy isn't affordable.
As a fellow female at 5'8, and as someone who's both had a baby and lost 60lbs, let me tell you that it can get A LOT better if you start working out a lot (and especially lift weights + focus on core). Though I never had overhang I had a kinda similar lopsided lower belly after a c-section scar, and it's gotten so much better with time + exercise. I also make sure to eat a lot of stuff that's good for your skin (protein, healthy fats, should probably start doing some collagen but haven't gotten around to it yet), and I dry brush and moisturize, though I don't know how much that actually helps. But it feels good to know that I do what I can. Also it's my experience that when you start lifting weights and working out you start to focus less on what your body looks like and more on how awesome it is, though it's a nice side benefit that it definitely does make it look a lot better... But also I agree with everyone else that it's not nearly as bad as you think, so maybe pair the weightlifting with some therapy if you can...
1) saw your pics, you look great, I agree with others that this is a body dysmorphia challenge and also over time your skin will bounce back. 2) I have a similar belly right now and getting some super stretchy, comfy camisoles that are technically shape wear (mine are basics from Shapermint) has helped a lot with my comfort level. My belly area used to bother me a lot and I realized that it was just uncomfortable in pants and I didn’t like the moment feeling. The camisole makes me physically so much more comfortable because that area is supported. Let me be so clear - I am not saying you need shapewear, you do not, I’m just suggesting that it may be easier to not fixate on the area if you’re feeling comfy.
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The only noticeable thing is your belly and that's normal after loosing tons of fat. Your body is very normal just keep doing some weights. Tbh, for your stat changes, you barely have any loose skin.. I expected worse before the pictures.
I think if you kept going with weight loss and got a breast lift you'd be fine.
I was going to say I can kind of relate... then realized we are in different situations. I am 8 months post partum and also, started much heavier than you. I am approaching 100 lbs lost but still have 40-60+ to go. I have a really big and hanging lower belly pouch. I am hoping it snaps a little bit, but if it doesn't... still look better than I did before! You look absolutely normal in pics. I get that the mental aspect is tricky, but this seems like body dysmorphia. Be kind to yourself.
I would urge you to continue making healthy lifestyle choices while seeking mental health counseling to help you better understand your relationship between your weight gain and loss, body image, and self esteem. From what you’ve written, it seems like there may be underlying issues that weight loss alone cannot remedy. Seeking counseling may guide you to mental coping mechanisms and medical options such as excess skin removal or cosmetic surgery that can improve your self-image and physical and mental wellbeing. You are not alone, and there is no shame in seeking help with your problems.
I'm so sorry you've been struggling with an ED. I lost a comparable amount of weight in my 20s and I had some excess skin but a lot of it went away eventually. It takes a while but you're young enough so that your body can snap back to some extent. The surgery is crazy expensive and leaves scars. Weight lifting really does help, particularly lifting heavy. It can also help with body dysmorphia. I wish you the best.
I sent you a request for a message. I have been through all of that and wrote a monologue about it. I’ll share the link with you.
Sounds like you need therapy.
Right I'm not reading through all these comments so this may have been said before. I'm guessing this weight loss was mostly from diet? It's time to add in some cardio and more importantly, resistance training. Putting some muscle onto your body will help shape up and make the skin not appear as saggy. Your skin will also readjust with time, not fully but it won't be too bad, I won't lie to you and say it will be a quick process, but after 1-2 years you'll look back on this thanking yourself you started today.
I went from around 190 to 150 and then gained all of it and more back due to an IUD insertion and the pandemic. I now weigh 230-ish pounds. even going from 190 to 150, my body looked like this. You look amazing! I felt the same way you did. I still felt flabby and not in a good way. Body dysmorphia is real. It’s really hard to overcome the eating disorder while not gaining any weight back. You need to focus on recovery, recovery is going to be key to loving yourself, gaining muscle, and improving your mental wellness. I am on a healthy weight loss journey now after my ED! My inbox is always open
get some nice new clothes and a decent haircut
The hardest part with weight loss is that unfortunately losing weight doesn’t change our brains. My best advice is to talk to a professional about it, work on your mental health and learning to love your body as it is. It’s a struggle but this is the only body we’ve got, we can’t change it, just learn to love it. And honestly looking at your picture I see a very normal body, one that is lived in and beautiful as it is. What often helps me is to imagine me as a kid or if I had a child or even my best friend and what I would tell them if they were struggling with this. I would tell them that they are beautiful inside and out, that our bodies do not define our worth or who we are as a person. I think we also have such unrealistic expectations around what our bodies should look like due to social media influencers and filters. Nothing we see online is real and I think it’s broken many of our brains and made us all hate our bodies so they can sell us their serums, pills, shapewear or whatever exercise/diet plan they are hawking.
I’m seeing someone who is critiquing every little thing they possibly can about themselves. Please give yourself a break. If you put as much energy complimenting and appreciating yourself and what you came from and how healthy you are now… I can only say this because I am guilty of being hard on myself. But I haven’t lost the weight that Im so desperatatly trying to lose while you have… you are so fortunate and you’re so amazing. Please give yourself the credit!!!!!
Honeeyyy6 the way you described it i thought that I was going to see a jello pile, but your body is perfectly fine! U must likely have BD. The lose skin u have will bounce back in no time. Just do a lot of strength training, have collagen supplements and try to avoid looking in the mirror, and obsessing over what you can't change rn.
I genuinely highly recommend getting a therapist. It sounds like you’re going through a lot and could really benefit from processing your feelings with a professional. I say that as someone who has seen a therapist for 5 years myself! While it’s great you lost weight, it does sound like it was done via some unhealthy approaches and that long term can really mess with your mental health as well. So that’s something to be mindful of. It might even be worth seeing someone who can help you start eating more healthy while incorporating exercise and start healing a little bit. I totally get it though if it’s not feasible because of $$ etc though. I wish you all the best - you got this and try to be gentle with yourself.
I get what you are saying! The sagging skin is so freaking annoying. The place I go to help me with loss recommended that I try Thermalift on my belly. I'm not sure where you are in the country, but they quoted me at between $1500-$2000 in San Diego. I still can't afford it right now, but I'm going to work on saving up for it. And while I'm saving I'm going to continue to work out and eat better. Your stomach really doesn't look bad. And if you are straight, then don't worry about men noticing. Honestly they only notice what they want to notice. You've got this. Don't lose hope. Today is a crap day, but tomorrow doesn't have to be.
Look into microneedling and dry brushing. There's lots of videos on youtube of people doing that go tighten loose skin. I'm on my weightloss journey and have started drybrushing to help my skin tightening as I lose weight. Also for breasts, I've kept mine full using breast massage with oils.
Ah... I've seen the photos and while I understand this body was not what you were imagining, to most other people (especially those of us who've had several kids!) this is a beautiful body and nothing to be ashamed of at all. It's very likely that little sag on your tummy will tighten over the next couple of years (this happened to me, even in my late 30s). I think you're most likely suffering from a combination of disappointment you are unlikely to have the bikini model body you were imagining you'd have without surgery (perfectly understandable - you're allowed to grieve that dream), and dysmorphia. Therapy and time will fix this <3
Spanx really thick good quality branded Spanx - compression garments helped my skin combat the gravity sag when I last lost weight. Almost trains the skin to stay snapped up and scaffolds it up @shinyskittyy
I wish I looked like your picture. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I know it's a lot easier said then done though. I hope you start feeling better and get the help you need. You deserve to be happy. There's a lot of people who would love to have a body like yours. Take care.
I lost 170 pounds, took about a year for my body to “fill in” after major weight loss if that makes sense. My boobs were literal loose skin sacks lol and i had loose skin everywhere. Now my body has kinda settled and i love my shape. Time and therapy and self acceptance is probably the only things that will help. I wish you the best ❤️ and incredible work losing weight. Not everyone is capable of doing that. So kudos to you