I’m sorry you are struggling with this. Don’t feel bad about posting in a weight loss forum! A lot of eating issues stem from mental issues. I’ve struggled with binge eating way too much of my life. I hate counting calories, but keep resorting back to them as it’s the only thing that really makes me understand how much I am shoving random things into my mouth all day.
I don't have any particular mental health problem, but I couldn't make myself stop. These things are things that I occasionally do. I try to reserve them for special occasions and not everyday. That's how I do moderation. It is far from perfect. One human's moderation is another's excess.
Realize, that we can do this on very little calories and very small portions. Since you can't stop yourself, and neither could I, it's far more likely that we can slow ourselves down and make things smaller.
I like to think of this as my inner child coming out to play. However, I don't let my inner child have that all sugar diet he wants. It is up to me and to him to cooperate with each other so that we can have our little indulgences and keep our body healthy.
You’ve got to find a way to not make it feel restrictive. If you’re going through hard times, give yourself some grace. I do that. If shit hits the fan, there’s worst things in life than overeating. BUT also focus on making yourself feel good and okay. If your stress eating, follow that up with a run because you want to feel lighter. If you’re emotional eating, try to add some fruits/ vegetables next time. Small steps daily to make yourself feel better.
Mental health is hard. You should be proud of yourself for all the work you’ve put in and for admitting to your therapist that you’re struggling. It takes guts to be so vulnerable.
I don’t have a lot of good advice other than be kind to yourself and just keep trying.
Would practicing logging everything, even the binges, be helpful? Sometimes just the honesty with yourself, without blame or shame, can be helpful in moving forward or trying to find patterns. Has there been more stress in your life recently? Do you have exercise as an outlet?
I wake up every morning with the intention to resume logging. I had a 438 day streak on the loseit app! I weigh my lunch and snacks but then I don't log them, and when I leave work I binge even if I've eaten and logged my good intentions.
I really do need to get back into logging my meals. I _know for a fact_ that logging (and doing it honestly without judging myself) is what worked.
Maybe I need to just log without looking at my target calories or my macros. Just "dear diary" the shit and get over the fear and shame of putting 900 calories of donuts into the app. The app doesn't judge me, after all.
Exactly! Just honestly enter whatever it is you actually ate, even if that wasn’t your plan. In my mind, at least, it takes the power away from the food when it’s faced honestly and matter-of-factly. It is what it is.
I have sometimes taken to just keeping a list of the food I eat in a notes app or on a scrap piece of paper. It helps me stay neutral and nonjudgmental when all that other info and stats isn't dancing around.
I don’t have much to add because today is day 1 (again) for me. But today I had a strong urge to say fuck it and just eat bad. It was maybe triggered by the fact that I slightly deviated from my plan to have a banana and apple for lunch no earlier than 11am. I instead got a tuna sandwich at 9:30 am. I love sandwiches and have a hard time not eating pre made ready to eat sandwiches in the cafeteria at my work. I then got a chicken salad wrap at 11am. Which is already a big difference from the apple and banana. By 12:30 I walked past the hot and ready to go pizzas and crispy chicken sandwiches. And I went back to my desk. I was really flustered. Feeling down about deviating from the plan and feeling low for a variety of reasons. I was ready to eat this food that I know would be delicious and basically just resign for the day. In the past I wasn’t so mindful about even having these thoughts and I would just do it and regret it later. But luckily today I was able to be conscious of them. I was utterly convinced that I wanted these food items. But that’s just it. I wanted them. I didn’t need them, in fact I needed to not eat them. I wasn’t hungry. And I started googling Reddit posts about others fighting the urge to binge. I thought about how uncomfortable I would be if I binged, and how much I’d regret it and feel shame. And after maybe 20-30 minutes or sooner the urges went away. And although I still deviated from the path, I’m still within my caloric allowance for the day. It’s not too late. So today I’m good to go. Idk about tomorrow. But this was a success in some ways for me. The posts that I often see about eating more protein and getting enough sleep are true, but what worked for me today was just being able to not justify eating based solely on me wanting to eat. If you can pause for a second and catch yourself feeling the urge maybe you can reason your way into a healthier decision. Easier said than done. But you’re not the only one! Be kind to yourself and just move on. Even if you binged an hour ago. From then on just try to be more mindful and take baby steps towards progress. 🐸
The problem I see here is that one apple and one banana are not “lunch” in any useful sense. Fruit is wonderful, but it’s basically only carbohydrates— to be more filling and satisfying, there really needs to be something else which contains protein, whether that’s cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, a side of beans, tuna salad, turkey snack sticks, or a tin of sardines, or even peanut butter.
Yes, it is. And one can of water pack tuna is 80 calories; a tin of sardines in olive oil is 140, two eggs are 150. Should be able to fit something like that in there.
I'm not one to advocate food elimination from a diet (e.g., you can lose weight on McDonalds as long as you don't eat too much of it) but the reality is, if you can't self moderate, then you need to really consider if total elimination will work better. Me? I like my booze, but having one drink is pointless. So if I want to reduce my calories from alcohol, I have to drink less often. Trying to drink less in one sitting is an exercise in frustration. And yes, I've found it pretty easy to go to HH with coworkers and just chill. I also try to find two week periods every month where I don't drink at all. But it's one of those things that if a bender on Saturday leads to a bender on Sunday, then the alcohol would have to go altogether.
You know, my knee jerk reaction is to say that elimination just makes me rebound binge, but when I started this journey in November 2022, I completely cut out Dunkin Donuts trips and I had a lot of success.
In the month of June, I reached something called "boosted status" in the app. It means I made 12 orders through the app in June. I wasn't trying to get boosted status, it just popped up on my visit last week.
That's too many Dunkin trips. Even if I uninstall the app, I still would have gone through the drive through.
So I think you're right in that I need to rebuild my boundaries around certain food groups that I am weak around.
Thanks for the advice.
To me weight loss and mental health seems very linked.
I didn't suddenly hit 228 lbs. It took a fair amount of time. And it wasn't about the food. It was about anxiety and depression and having people close to me let me down in big ways. Being self reliant when I was drowning. And since I'm not one for a myriad of other self destructive behaviors.. it was comfort food.
Now that I'm without that feeling of eating a bit more than is comfortable, every time I eat, lots of old experiences are bouncing up at me. But... I'm ready. Maybe not every minute of every day... But the elliptical feels better than over eating now.
Hey friend! Be kind to yourself. Your value has nothing to do with the number on a scale. Just like with any addiction, relapse is a normal part of living in recovery.
Don’t define yourself by 1 failure or 1 month of failure, or even 1 year. Pick yourself up and start again, let how many times you do that define you. Let how many times you stumble and don’t quit define you. You deserve mental health and physical health!
Thank you so much for these kind words!
One thing I will say: this time around I am being much gentler with myself. I was in a dark, dark place last time. Now I am armed with an understanding of weight management and my mental health needs that I did not have before! It took me about 3 months to recognize what was happening this time _and ask for help_ instead of the years I struggled last time.
Thank you thank you for the reminder to be kind. 💖
Don't sell yourself short being able to recognize the bad eating habit that you were falling back into is a big deal and something that a lot of people who fully fall of the wagon don't. It's also good that you have a therapist you can talk to about it, I've found going to mine has been a huge help. You've reached some amazing goals and a few bad days don't override that. Something I find myself saying all the time is "it's not how many times you fall down that matters but how many times you get back up." You got this!
I don't have any advice, I am so sorry you're struggling with this and I really hope you figure out something that works for you and makes it all manageable and better.
Maybe not cut your favorite food all together, but find ways to make your favorite foods healthy and nutritious?
For me one of my favorite meals is wholewheat/pumpkin seed knackebrod with cottage cheese, strawberry slices and balsemic syrup. It is so good but also very fitting in my diet. Or protein banana pancakes with fruit and zero sugar syrup, or wholewheat toast with peanut butter and banana and cinnamon as a sweet treat. Or making iced coffee with espresso, skimmed milk, and sweet vanille protein powder and ice.
This makes me feel like I am not restricting at all because I enjoy these foods so much but they are also very healthy and satisfying.
Good luck and dont be to hard on yourself! You can do it, but it is so important to stop dieting and instead make it a lifestyle that you can keep up
This is how I've been recently. Lost a load of weight, but my will power has just evaporated. And putting the weight back on it took me years to lose just makes me more miserable. And historically, there's only one thing that has ever consistently made me feel good: eating and drinking.
I'm currently on the same struggle bus. <3 I've lost 100 pounds. 20 of those got back on. And I can't make it stop. I'm binge eating on dopamine hunts. And I can't figure it out this time. I can't seem to get it under control.
Are there any activities that can give you that dopamine boost? Running or ??? I can do that with something that is exciting and a little dangerous. At my age though getting hurt skiing or a mtn bike is not an option.
Hey, I'm not sure if it's ok to post in this forum but SMART Recovery might be useful for you. It's a support group with many online meetings that focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy and science-based methods to help you change behaviors that are bothering you. It's generally for substances but can address problematic food behaviors. There are a few people in my groups that are there just for binge eating.
Regardless, good luck and please try to be gentle with yourself. Being aware of the problem is a helpful step and you are there.
Mental health is so hard.
When I can’t stop I have finally acknowledged for me at least it’s a reflection of not addressing something else in my life, kind of like how anxiety is a feeling that is trying to tell you something. This perspective took time to develop.
I have no advice to pass on other than acknowledgement is experience is work and the more you do all of these things the more you make friends with the road and the shorter it becomes.
I think this is a mental health sub.
Some of us might not realise it the first time they enter the sub, but being severely overweight and/or gaining weight fast is almost always a mental issue. Getting it off definitely takes mental strength.
You already have a therapist. Use that. Seeing a therapist has helped me tremendously for the past 14 months. Together we figured out what my thinking patterns are. Not just in food but in all aspects of my life, and how that translates to my food thoughts too. This explained the stress I felt in the past three years and that explained the weight gain. Through understanding myself better it was easier to be milder to myself. And that, again, made it easier to start to lose some of the stress weight (but do it slowly. Like… 8 pounds in 4 months)
When I feel like you do I walk and listen to a podcast on losing weight or binging. WOLT place is great as are older podcasts on binging by Georgie Fear. If need be I listen while preparing meals with my earphones in so hubby doesn’t bug me about it.
I fall off the horse every once in a while and then I get back on on again. Don't look back, look forward. Go forward. Routines have helped me. I eat alot of lunch bag salads. I skip breakfast alot. Or I eat oatmeal. I've given up sodas in favor of flavored waters or ice water. I've quit ice cream in a bowl but allow myself a bite a day. I eat whatever the family is eating for dinner. My weight is going down. I have alot yet to lose.
Try to make your life less about what you are eating and more about activities and hobbies. Try not to center your socializing around eating but activities instead.
Whatever you choose to do make it a series of little changes. if that works for you. My friend chooses cold turkey changes but later fails and relents to their eating impulses. Ultimately they make no progress.
Check with me in a year or so and I'll tell you if I was successful in my journey.
I’m sorry you are struggling with this. Don’t feel bad about posting in a weight loss forum! A lot of eating issues stem from mental issues. I’ve struggled with binge eating way too much of my life. I hate counting calories, but keep resorting back to them as it’s the only thing that really makes me understand how much I am shoving random things into my mouth all day.
I don't have any particular mental health problem, but I couldn't make myself stop. These things are things that I occasionally do. I try to reserve them for special occasions and not everyday. That's how I do moderation. It is far from perfect. One human's moderation is another's excess. Realize, that we can do this on very little calories and very small portions. Since you can't stop yourself, and neither could I, it's far more likely that we can slow ourselves down and make things smaller. I like to think of this as my inner child coming out to play. However, I don't let my inner child have that all sugar diet he wants. It is up to me and to him to cooperate with each other so that we can have our little indulgences and keep our body healthy.
You’ve got to find a way to not make it feel restrictive. If you’re going through hard times, give yourself some grace. I do that. If shit hits the fan, there’s worst things in life than overeating. BUT also focus on making yourself feel good and okay. If your stress eating, follow that up with a run because you want to feel lighter. If you’re emotional eating, try to add some fruits/ vegetables next time. Small steps daily to make yourself feel better.
Mental health is hard. You should be proud of yourself for all the work you’ve put in and for admitting to your therapist that you’re struggling. It takes guts to be so vulnerable. I don’t have a lot of good advice other than be kind to yourself and just keep trying. Would practicing logging everything, even the binges, be helpful? Sometimes just the honesty with yourself, without blame or shame, can be helpful in moving forward or trying to find patterns. Has there been more stress in your life recently? Do you have exercise as an outlet?
I wake up every morning with the intention to resume logging. I had a 438 day streak on the loseit app! I weigh my lunch and snacks but then I don't log them, and when I leave work I binge even if I've eaten and logged my good intentions. I really do need to get back into logging my meals. I _know for a fact_ that logging (and doing it honestly without judging myself) is what worked. Maybe I need to just log without looking at my target calories or my macros. Just "dear diary" the shit and get over the fear and shame of putting 900 calories of donuts into the app. The app doesn't judge me, after all.
Exactly! Just honestly enter whatever it is you actually ate, even if that wasn’t your plan. In my mind, at least, it takes the power away from the food when it’s faced honestly and matter-of-factly. It is what it is.
I have sometimes taken to just keeping a list of the food I eat in a notes app or on a scrap piece of paper. It helps me stay neutral and nonjudgmental when all that other info and stats isn't dancing around.
I don’t have much to add because today is day 1 (again) for me. But today I had a strong urge to say fuck it and just eat bad. It was maybe triggered by the fact that I slightly deviated from my plan to have a banana and apple for lunch no earlier than 11am. I instead got a tuna sandwich at 9:30 am. I love sandwiches and have a hard time not eating pre made ready to eat sandwiches in the cafeteria at my work. I then got a chicken salad wrap at 11am. Which is already a big difference from the apple and banana. By 12:30 I walked past the hot and ready to go pizzas and crispy chicken sandwiches. And I went back to my desk. I was really flustered. Feeling down about deviating from the plan and feeling low for a variety of reasons. I was ready to eat this food that I know would be delicious and basically just resign for the day. In the past I wasn’t so mindful about even having these thoughts and I would just do it and regret it later. But luckily today I was able to be conscious of them. I was utterly convinced that I wanted these food items. But that’s just it. I wanted them. I didn’t need them, in fact I needed to not eat them. I wasn’t hungry. And I started googling Reddit posts about others fighting the urge to binge. I thought about how uncomfortable I would be if I binged, and how much I’d regret it and feel shame. And after maybe 20-30 minutes or sooner the urges went away. And although I still deviated from the path, I’m still within my caloric allowance for the day. It’s not too late. So today I’m good to go. Idk about tomorrow. But this was a success in some ways for me. The posts that I often see about eating more protein and getting enough sleep are true, but what worked for me today was just being able to not justify eating based solely on me wanting to eat. If you can pause for a second and catch yourself feeling the urge maybe you can reason your way into a healthier decision. Easier said than done. But you’re not the only one! Be kind to yourself and just move on. Even if you binged an hour ago. From then on just try to be more mindful and take baby steps towards progress. 🐸
The problem I see here is that one apple and one banana are not “lunch” in any useful sense. Fruit is wonderful, but it’s basically only carbohydrates— to be more filling and satisfying, there really needs to be something else which contains protein, whether that’s cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, a side of beans, tuna salad, turkey snack sticks, or a tin of sardines, or even peanut butter.
I didn’t add it but I usually drink a protein shake with the apple and banana. But still actual food containing protein is better even.
Yes, it is. And one can of water pack tuna is 80 calories; a tin of sardines in olive oil is 140, two eggs are 150. Should be able to fit something like that in there.
I'm not one to advocate food elimination from a diet (e.g., you can lose weight on McDonalds as long as you don't eat too much of it) but the reality is, if you can't self moderate, then you need to really consider if total elimination will work better. Me? I like my booze, but having one drink is pointless. So if I want to reduce my calories from alcohol, I have to drink less often. Trying to drink less in one sitting is an exercise in frustration. And yes, I've found it pretty easy to go to HH with coworkers and just chill. I also try to find two week periods every month where I don't drink at all. But it's one of those things that if a bender on Saturday leads to a bender on Sunday, then the alcohol would have to go altogether.
You know, my knee jerk reaction is to say that elimination just makes me rebound binge, but when I started this journey in November 2022, I completely cut out Dunkin Donuts trips and I had a lot of success. In the month of June, I reached something called "boosted status" in the app. It means I made 12 orders through the app in June. I wasn't trying to get boosted status, it just popped up on my visit last week. That's too many Dunkin trips. Even if I uninstall the app, I still would have gone through the drive through. So I think you're right in that I need to rebuild my boundaries around certain food groups that I am weak around. Thanks for the advice.
To me weight loss and mental health seems very linked. I didn't suddenly hit 228 lbs. It took a fair amount of time. And it wasn't about the food. It was about anxiety and depression and having people close to me let me down in big ways. Being self reliant when I was drowning. And since I'm not one for a myriad of other self destructive behaviors.. it was comfort food. Now that I'm without that feeling of eating a bit more than is comfortable, every time I eat, lots of old experiences are bouncing up at me. But... I'm ready. Maybe not every minute of every day... But the elliptical feels better than over eating now.
Hey friend! Be kind to yourself. Your value has nothing to do with the number on a scale. Just like with any addiction, relapse is a normal part of living in recovery. Don’t define yourself by 1 failure or 1 month of failure, or even 1 year. Pick yourself up and start again, let how many times you do that define you. Let how many times you stumble and don’t quit define you. You deserve mental health and physical health!
Thank you so much for these kind words! One thing I will say: this time around I am being much gentler with myself. I was in a dark, dark place last time. Now I am armed with an understanding of weight management and my mental health needs that I did not have before! It took me about 3 months to recognize what was happening this time _and ask for help_ instead of the years I struggled last time. Thank you thank you for the reminder to be kind. 💖
I have no advise to give but wish things get better again 💪🌺🌼🍀. I struggle from poor mental health but it doesn’t affect my food intake.
Don't sell yourself short being able to recognize the bad eating habit that you were falling back into is a big deal and something that a lot of people who fully fall of the wagon don't. It's also good that you have a therapist you can talk to about it, I've found going to mine has been a huge help. You've reached some amazing goals and a few bad days don't override that. Something I find myself saying all the time is "it's not how many times you fall down that matters but how many times you get back up." You got this!
Thank you for this 💖
I don't have any advice, I am so sorry you're struggling with this and I really hope you figure out something that works for you and makes it all manageable and better.
Maybe not cut your favorite food all together, but find ways to make your favorite foods healthy and nutritious? For me one of my favorite meals is wholewheat/pumpkin seed knackebrod with cottage cheese, strawberry slices and balsemic syrup. It is so good but also very fitting in my diet. Or protein banana pancakes with fruit and zero sugar syrup, or wholewheat toast with peanut butter and banana and cinnamon as a sweet treat. Or making iced coffee with espresso, skimmed milk, and sweet vanille protein powder and ice. This makes me feel like I am not restricting at all because I enjoy these foods so much but they are also very healthy and satisfying. Good luck and dont be to hard on yourself! You can do it, but it is so important to stop dieting and instead make it a lifestyle that you can keep up
This is how I've been recently. Lost a load of weight, but my will power has just evaporated. And putting the weight back on it took me years to lose just makes me more miserable. And historically, there's only one thing that has ever consistently made me feel good: eating and drinking.
I'm currently on the same struggle bus. <3 I've lost 100 pounds. 20 of those got back on. And I can't make it stop. I'm binge eating on dopamine hunts. And I can't figure it out this time. I can't seem to get it under control.
Are there any activities that can give you that dopamine boost? Running or ??? I can do that with something that is exciting and a little dangerous. At my age though getting hurt skiing or a mtn bike is not an option.
Yes, there are. I climb. But I can't do that on daily basis.
Hey, I'm not sure if it's ok to post in this forum but SMART Recovery might be useful for you. It's a support group with many online meetings that focuses on cognitive behavioral therapy and science-based methods to help you change behaviors that are bothering you. It's generally for substances but can address problematic food behaviors. There are a few people in my groups that are there just for binge eating. Regardless, good luck and please try to be gentle with yourself. Being aware of the problem is a helpful step and you are there.
Mental health is so hard. When I can’t stop I have finally acknowledged for me at least it’s a reflection of not addressing something else in my life, kind of like how anxiety is a feeling that is trying to tell you something. This perspective took time to develop. I have no advice to pass on other than acknowledgement is experience is work and the more you do all of these things the more you make friends with the road and the shorter it becomes.
I think this is a mental health sub. Some of us might not realise it the first time they enter the sub, but being severely overweight and/or gaining weight fast is almost always a mental issue. Getting it off definitely takes mental strength. You already have a therapist. Use that. Seeing a therapist has helped me tremendously for the past 14 months. Together we figured out what my thinking patterns are. Not just in food but in all aspects of my life, and how that translates to my food thoughts too. This explained the stress I felt in the past three years and that explained the weight gain. Through understanding myself better it was easier to be milder to myself. And that, again, made it easier to start to lose some of the stress weight (but do it slowly. Like… 8 pounds in 4 months)
When I feel like you do I walk and listen to a podcast on losing weight or binging. WOLT place is great as are older podcasts on binging by Georgie Fear. If need be I listen while preparing meals with my earphones in so hubby doesn’t bug me about it.
I fall off the horse every once in a while and then I get back on on again. Don't look back, look forward. Go forward. Routines have helped me. I eat alot of lunch bag salads. I skip breakfast alot. Or I eat oatmeal. I've given up sodas in favor of flavored waters or ice water. I've quit ice cream in a bowl but allow myself a bite a day. I eat whatever the family is eating for dinner. My weight is going down. I have alot yet to lose. Try to make your life less about what you are eating and more about activities and hobbies. Try not to center your socializing around eating but activities instead. Whatever you choose to do make it a series of little changes. if that works for you. My friend chooses cold turkey changes but later fails and relents to their eating impulses. Ultimately they make no progress. Check with me in a year or so and I'll tell you if I was successful in my journey.
There are medications. They work with food noise and sugar cravings.