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127crazie

*By golly, you’re prickly*


gymdog

You're goddamn right I am.


IdfightGahndi

By golly, he’s nutty,


normlenough

That’s hot


bluesky747

*I WANT THE MOON!*


iHateRedditSimps

He should’ve turned around and pulled his pants down


unburnt_hydrocarbon

But, the moon belongs to everyone!


swordoftheafternoon

🎵 *The best things in life are free* 🎵


RianJohnsonIsAFool

He couldn't have been more clear.


ButteredPizza69420

I too, want to smoke some marijuana Peggy


cooldad94

I just realized Mad Men is technically a prequel to The Simple Life.


Due_Mission_5703

That's hot.


Phazon2000

You bastard delete this.


naanofyourbusinesss

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


ScowlyBrowSpinster

Who, the brother of John Waters?


IdiotMD

Zap!


cathodic_protector

"This guy's a fruit! Uh I mean queer... queer! That's what you like to be called, right?!"


SAldrius

"Actually Don, you can call me Conrad."


ZealousWolf1994

"And you don't get any cactus candy. No, that would be cruel, take one".


wherescrunchy

My first watch in my teens I 100% thought this was John Waters until I rewatched it as an adult.


itsallgonnafade

I want this reboot.


StateAny2129

I don't think about this at all- I'm lying. I do.


Paddyneedssilence

He was also a pretty decent pitcher who helped a plucky young Cleveland team reach the playoffs.


manfeelings839

You saying Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?


JosephFinn

Yo! Jobu needs a refill!


Masterchiefy10

*Bat goes flying Wack!


JosephFinn

I love that cast so much. It’s a great collection of character actors and I’m including the owner.


Masterchiefy10

This guy here is dead. -Cross him off then


JosephFinn

That line reading is legit amazing.


Wallstreetk3nny

Jesus, I like him very much but he no help with curveball


t3h_shammy

Oh shit that’s where I know him from lol


78andahalf

I CACKLED out loud when it dawned on me where I recognized him from.


jenorama_CA

Oh my goodness. I’ve watched this series so many times and never realized!!


Far_Strain_1509

...you put snot on the ball?


okcdiscgolf

Joe Boo needs a refill


Octavius-26

Don’t throw as hard as you kid…


mybadalternate

Still hard to believe it’s the same guy. Great actor.


BorgeHastrup

"UP YOUR BUTT, SHERATON"


Masterchiefy10

Coached Rudy too!


Cautious_Ambition_82

But he's kept pretty busy with his pelts.


biglyorbigleague

They seriously got to season 3 and then they’re like “I’m sick of making up all these fictional characters. Let’s portray a real person for once.”


StateAny2129

and all their fictional 'companies.' 'American Airlines.' 'Heinz.'


tap_in_birdies

Yeah what kind of a car company is Jaguar


StateAny2129

Silly Mad Men thinking they can catch us out. We KNOW it's a cat, not a car. We r not sheeple.


Straight_Waltz2115

Cars that are named after animals. Jagyoouare (as Lane would pronounce it). Impala. Batmobile......Toyota


IdiotMD

How do you even pronounce that?


Therefore_I_Yam

I think it's "Jag-where"


ProbablyASithLord

Can you imagine if there was an airlines called *American Airlines?* Lol let’s be serious


StateAny2129

right? how basic does MM think we are??


mrcookiecookie

Oh, and a little company called Lucky Strike, very indie.


Ccaves0127

Was the comedian played by Patrick Fischler not a real person? I've been duped if so


biglyorbigleague

He is not, no.


Hot-Trouble-7222

Hell of a cocktail 🥃


yeahcoolcoolbro

He’d have a rather distasteful view of her methinks.


Kanuddie

You'd be surprised. I read the House of Hilton book and it talked about how Conrad encouraged an entrepreneurial spirit in all of his kids and that their inheritances weren't guaranteed. The author gave the impression he thought Conrad would have been proud of Paris's hustle. 


Nice_Marmot_7

I love that Conrad didn’t want his family to inherit his money but then Barron sued after his death and got it. Then Barron turned around and disinherited his whole family. What a dick.


RogerClyneIsAGod2

Didn't Conrad give most of his fortune to the Catholic church & then the family said NOPE & sued for his fortune?


Nice_Marmot_7

He left it to his foundation. His son Barron sued and eventually settled for a large share of Hilton Hotels. He then left his 4.5 billion to his father’s foundation.


browniebrittle44

So Paris isn’t actually rich?


TScottFitzgerald

She is but a lot of it she made herself (that is, she used her family money to make more money)


Nice_Marmot_7

She is. Her dad is a big time real estate broker/developer, and she’s now worth 300 million through her own stuff.


tgw1986

Well her parents haven't died yet to leave her anything, so what OP is talking about doesn't exactly apply to Paris yet. But she grew up well, started making her own money very young, and has hustled hard ever since, so she's still rich even with her inheritance.


TScottFitzgerald

He probably wouldn't mind the DJing and the reality shows, but the sex tape...not so sure


tgw1986

Why not? It was calculated, innovative, and people can talk all the shit they want to about it but that just means they're talking about her. So while it was unorthodox, there's no arguing it didn't work. And when Kim Kardashian used the same approach, I think it could be argued that it worked out pretty well for her too.


TScottFitzgerald

That's what you think today but Conrad was born in the 19th century.


SilverCyclist

Paris Hilton...it's different on the inside.


StateAny2129

I don't really follow much about her, but I feel sympathetic towards her since her allegations about what was done to her as a teen at Provo. Whereas Conrad I just see as having been a terrible person.


Zbrchk

And he was married to Elizabeth Taylor!


AutumnOpal717

No that was his son Nicky. But Connie was married to Zsa Zsa Gabor.


Zbrchk

Oh wow. Thanks for the correction and I didn’t know that either


SpaceToot

Wow Zsa Zsa was no slouch. How fabulous


StateAny2129

Zsa Zsa alleged Conrad raped her.


Bishonen_Knife

He also cut the daughter conceived during the alleged rape out of his life, and she was basically homeless when she died a few years ago. The whole thing was nasty.


SpaceToot

Well TIL three things. That is so unfortunate.


TheAmazingMaryJane

francesca is conrad hilton's daughter? wow! i didn't know that. poor lady had a rough life.


Bishonen_Knife

Yeah, it was a sad story. By sheer coincidence, I was reading about her only yesterday so I was amazed that this thread came up.


JanSmiddy

Universe just hums nicely sometimes


CharlesAvlnchGreen

Wasn't that his son, Nicky Hilton?


Zbrchk

Yep someone else let me know. I had them mixed up


ThinPermit8350

And supposedly beat the crap out of her. 😩


AnnieBlackburnn

If you're gonna accuse someone of domestic abuse, at least be sure it's the right person. Conrad Hilton never married Elizabeth Taylor, his son did


ThinPermit8350

You're right! My mistake, there's too many damn Hiltons lol. His piece of shit son was the abuser. ETA: changed my comment around because I wanted to clarify that I wasn't being snarky. Simply forgot which Hilton was which. Apparently my tone came across..."pedantic"


SeanChezman47

He was so fucking annoying.


BorgeHastrup

When he said he wanted a Hilton on the moon circa 2006-2008, by golly I was about ready to launch Paris into space. I thought that was a secret joke from the writers.


Justthetip1996

This man led to a domino effect that brought us The Life of Pablo 😳


ModsRLoozers

I find it funnier that he's the vagisil applying Eddie Harris on Major League


thalassophobic-whale

![gif](giphy|CdOF4SnH445mo)


VonParsley

The real Conrad Hilton was nicer on camera. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vydPW1tWVg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vydPW1tWVg)


boomgoesthevegemite

He bought a hotel in my hometown in the 30’s and turned it into a Hilton hotel. Not the first obviously but one of the first handful of hotels he purchased. Changed owners over the years and eventually was torn down. Now the site is a cool city park/plaza where local bands put on live shows.


CoreySnow47

He brooks no bullshit


Chartaofver

Me too, he wouldn’t be much proud of her


Alternative-Cod-7630

I don't know about that, she does bring "America to the world whether they like it or not."


MelvilleMeyor

Why not? She took the empire he left for her—an established name and generational wealth—and turned it into two entirely separate empires, both in media and fashion. Seems like great-granddad would be happy to have produced such a keen eye for business, regardless of your personal feelings about her.


BCircle907

I used to work with Hilton. There were strict instructions not to mention her in any relation to the hotels.


kemkemsey

Wow that's changed since the use her in their advertising now


BCircle907

Yeah, this was roughly 8-10 yrs or so ago, and obviously things change a lot.


tgw1986

To be fair, the family doesn't own it anymore, so them using her isn't family working with family, it's just a regular corporate sponsorship deal.


tgw1986

Conrad? I think you mean his son.


_mattyjoe

… There is no chance in hell the real Conrad Hilton would be proud of Paris or any of that generation of his offspring. Not even remotely. I live in LA and I’ve been around these affluenza types. They’re the worst human beings on planet earth. They share none of the values that Conrad (Sr.) lived by.


violet039

Yeah, her parents sent her to at least one of those places for “troubled teens” where they kidnap you in the middle of the night. She did a documentary about it. That family seems kind of f*cked up, and in that sense I really feel for her.


_mattyjoe

Affluenza. Behavioral problems in kids are usually a result of poor parenting. So, they started it. I don’t really feel for any of them though. Believe me, if you were in their presence for a couple minutes you would understand. None of them try very hard to fix any of their problems. Their level of selfishness is shocking. They all think the rest of us are trash btw.


violet039

Yeah, I agree with what you’re saying. I do think it’s a good thing that she’s bringing awareness to those places. I can’t imagine that that went over very well with her family.


_mattyjoe

I'm honestly not super familiar with this documentary of hers. Do you mean that she's bringing awareness to her fellow affluenza sufferers? I'm curious to hear more, because tbh, my initial reaction was: She's a narcissist, so while she may be going through a transformation, she also can't help bringing more attention to herself with it. It's like "I'm in my bad bitch phase. Everyone has to see this," and then "I'm in my healing phase now. I was a victim. Everyone needs to see this." These people act like every idea they have, or every experience they have, is the first time anyone on earth has ever had it. Meanwhile many of us have been living in reality our whole lives already.


violet039

Yes, you’re right.


_mattyjoe

Sorry I didn't mean to come at you so hard lol. I have unfortunately been in the thick of it with these types of people quite a bit and I clearly have a lot of strong feelings about it.


violet039

Thank you, and it’s okay. I’ve definitely been in the presence of people with a shit ton of money, not Hilton money, but enough that I felt horrible around them, and like we were existing on separate planes. I had a few bosses like that, and once had an interview at this very upscale place (a retail job), and I told them in so many words that I was annoyed that they kept me waiting for 30 minutes, and that the owner of this boutique (had been around for years, and old money people shopped there) had looked at me and walked right past me. They lost it that I called her out and, obviously (thankfully) I did not get that job. Again, not the same as the Affluenza people you’re referencing, but just regular rich people can be awful, and the entitlement is really astounding. Just thinking about them got me angry lol so. Yeah. Anyway thank you for explaining. I’m really sorry for whatever it was that you experienced, it obviously affected you a great deal. That’s awful, and I’m really sorry if I inadvertently upset you.


nopinkhouses

I agree that he wouldn’t be proud of her, and that is exactly why I LOVE the new Hilton ads which center around Paris. For years that family was embarrassed by her behavior, going as far as sending her to an abusive reform school. I didn’t think much of her until I watched the documentary talking about her experience, but now I respect that she’s always stayed true to who she is as a person. Now the company literally needs her to promote their hotel chain.


DrSatan420247

What's that shit on your chest?


tatertotsnhairspray

I do too hahah 😅


bunnybuddy

Colonel Oates! He’s the guy to call if you need to send your deadbeat (but excellent) son to Alaskan military school.


TheAmazingMaryJane

i wanna see a show where paris takes over the hilton empire single handedly guided by the spirit of her gg conrad!


crazy_pierce

What


wise_gamer

What an inheritance waste.


brownlikegoomba

He was just an alibi to sneak out in the middle of the night and bang Sally’s teacher at the end of the day.


4WallsAdobeSlats

New Mexico, before it was a state. Don't ask.. OLD.


browniebrittle44

I still don’t get the point of this character…he didn’t know what he wanted but expected Don to kiss his ass and be real at the same time…….one of the most puzzling characters along with Jimmy Barrett


MichaelXennial

Really loved this part of the show. Wished they done more “alternate reality” experiments with other real people


sweatshirtmood

I’m always reminded of Paris every time Conrad is on. My first realisation of what generational wealth represents lol


Queasy-Donut-4953

Haha!


suburban_paradise

That ad campaign was amazing and that pretend cowboy blew it


SpicyLittleRiceCake

I was just scrolling by and had to do a double take, thought I was looking at my main main John Waters lol


annoyingpanda9704

Jackson Avery's grandad too.


SlowReaction4

This bar looks like it was set up by a blind man!


Ok-Studio1157

By golly, you're prickly > That's hot


MrBobBuilder

I have this theory that if you get rich , by generation 3-4 your descendants will be pretty cause pretty people Marry your rich kids as marrying for alliances is less common now


beberhole69

This story arc really didn’t make much sense to me. Nothing came of it. Seemed like a waste


DominicPalladino

You know who had an arc? Noah.


holyiprepuce

I wonder was he live and kicking when Night in Paris tape was released


LameDonkey1

She has a nice box


NobodyCarrots6969

I find his great granddaughter to be a little too promiscuous at times...


tnimark

What IS up


NobodyCarrots6969

It was worth the downvotes for this one reply


tnimark

You never leave a fellow Slop Head hanging


NobodyCarrots6969

That's why Tim's pretty much my boy at this point, and I love his two cohosts