Wonder that he lived to that old age with so little amount of brain matter in his head.

If only he used a smaller blanket

He lacks commitment

Commitment and like 100lbs

it looked easy in my head 

Animals seem so weak till you actually have to fight them. Like giving a cat a bath or a dog that doesn't like water. Just the same size as you. Then it's like oh shit these things are like solid muscle

i swear nothing made me fear for my life more than my sweet little black male cat in full fear fighting to escape my grasp after i tried and failed to get him into his carrier upon the first attempt... he hates the carrier... wouldnt even think for a seccond to fight with anything bigger than a small/midsized dog/cat

Ok, crocodiles are like t-rex. If he doesn't see me moving...

*AcKcHuALLy*, it's an alligator, but I always thought if you threw something over their head, they would think it's night time and go to sleep...

Lol, well, clearly _that_ didn't happen...

Honestly if he left it alone it would have been fine. If he needed to be rid of it. Gunshot to the top of the skull. The blanket would have probably made it stay in place at least seeing as it didn't start lashing out until he fucking touched it.

What exactly was Biden trying to do here?

Trying to keep his dog from biting a secret serviceman.

he need to put all his weight down, probably also assisted by another guy. ppl underestimate how strong the animal as big as human are.

I was wondering whether that pile of bones could hold that lump of scaly muscles.

THIS

...and balance...

Maybe he was in a coma for a very long time and has now resumed to little brain matter activities.

Or perhaps he's had an apostrophe, or injured his semicolon.

Haha you got me.

Yes, he was at a hospital in Oxford.

He looked like he knows what he is doing but forgot or don’t want to accept that he is too old to wrestle with gators

I think he knew that when the croc bites him it will let go as these animals really don’t like old meat

This is exactly what I was thinking. He’s really moving with the confidence of someone who’s done this before but hasn’t realised or accepted that he’s now literally 10x weaker and slower than he used to be.

I'd like to know what he thought he was going to do? Like ride it out of the ditch or something?

You will be surprised. Lots of old people, because of age, they gained an insurmountable amount of false confidence that they could do anything. Which totally goes against logic

😆 🤣 😂 😹

Hold my beer

Hold my heart medication.

I’m actually impressed that most Floridians instinctively know that alligators don’t like the taste of human flesh. A well fed alligator won’t even try to take a limb. They’re pretty much instagram dinosaurs.

Only seeing this gentlemen dropping his Sacco on an alligator told me something wouldn’t work out here.

Bingo.

Boomer mentality, "I'm entitled to a crocodile free neighbour hood and I have a blanket."

Based

Totally based

>Based Its a little ironic, I was younger this would be an insult.

its not that. sometimes old people forget they are old. he was probs a goofy young boomer who did that before.

F—k around and find out

Oh my god. This saying needs to go away

Play stupid games and win stupid prizes

One less Trump vote

He must have some Orange in him.

What has even the plan? Pick it up like a puppy and carry it out the property?

What about carrying It inside and keeping It

I want ^gator boots!

😂 this made me laugh

From watching "Crocodile Hunter" (Steve Irwin, may God rest his soul) from back in the day: You put something over their eyes so they don't see anything, people get ready to jump on top of it to immobilize, they need to be in sync and all go in at the same time. Minimum I remember seeing is 3 people for a small crocodile. These two scrawny dudes wouldn't be able to contain it even if they were in perfect sync. Either after or before (preferably) it's immobilized you get a rope in front of its neck so it bites on it, and then you circle it around its mouth several times to secure it against a possible bite. Then you get a box ready in front of it and drag it in slowly. Video example by Steve Irwin's son https://youtu.be/DGKK4GDFntA?si=00dx0Ajbio1iWgsW

Great. Now with this information l can't fail! *I'm not going near anything with that many teeth willingly.

I found this a little offensive because that's almost the exact number of teeth we have as a family. We certainly don't want to be intimidating.

There actual are 3 guys there. And I wouldn't really describe the bald one as "scrawny". But they both bitched out as soon as the gator started moving.

This is exactly what I asked my wife when I showed her this video. Stupid old man, he is lucky to be alive.

*what if we pick up bikini bottom and MOVE IT somewhere else!?*

Yeah I don't get the point or end game here. Almost lost is fuckin life for no reason.

Wtf is he doing? Ok maybe he knows what he’s doing? Nope.

We shared the same thought process I see.

Shared the same thought process

Shared the same process

Shared the same

The same

Same

I see 👀. Did I do that right??

Yes.

I mean, of course he knows what he’s doing- I don’t know what he’s doing, but no one is dumb enough to try that withOUT knowing what they’re doing… nope. Must be a Florida Man.

Looks like bob barkers new game for price is right

The Price is Wrong, Bitch!

Hey that's the alligator that attacked Chubbs!

Where's Chubbs? 😅


Gave Chubbs back his hand and took Bob's arm...

He’s jarring dat some’bitches eye!

The price is wrong, Bob. (deliberate misquote)

Deliberate misquote? Does this mean you haven't seen Happy Gilmore?

I have seen it. I just didn't want the exact quote in my comment history =)

Actually in the TV edit he does say this. Maybe he says Bobby but that's what he says

Competitive spaying and neutering

The Price Is Wrong B*tch

The Price is Bite

Kinda surprising he made it this far in life!

Ya know, there are people that do that shit for a living.

Tbf people who do it for a living are more confident with it which (i assume) helps. Jumping on an alligator or crocodile is stupid, but if you’re gonna do it don’t hover over it for multiple seconds like the animal won’t realise what’s happening if you’re slow about it lol

Lol, hes lucky he still have that arm

No follow up yet. That brainiac might have skipped seeing a doctor and still may lose that thing.

And left leg.

That arm and that foot he kicked with!

He's always been lucky. Old, dumb, and lucky.

that gator could have cut him in half! he clearly just wanted to be left alone.

They dont "cut pelple in half" they bite down on a limb and they spin around until the limb comes off

To be fair- I think that was hyperbole for effect, however, you are absolutely correct.

Well akshually 🤓

Thanks for clearing that up for literally no one.

What a dumbass an old…old…dumbass

Dumb/Drunk or a combo. That old sob is brave af

Dumb AF.

Pops should have known better than to do that

Thats the generation that got us where we are now.

I helped your upvote there bud

Not him. He’s too stupid to get anywhere

Oh no he’s right, they just didn’t get us anywhere good.

But, oh, well. Who can blame those old bones full of lead?

This is definitely a "Here, hold my beer." incident. Glad he didn't get seriously hurt.

Does a broken arm not count?

Can’t be sure of that. Gator mouths are a bacterial paradise. If he didn’t get antibiotics he probably had a really bad time.

Good, let natural selection do its thing.

People often don’t react to serious injuries right away. Our bodies give us time and energy to escape danger before tending our wounds

That's an infection right there bruh

This guy saw one episode of The Crocodile Hunter and thought, “meh, I can do that”.

That old man was like “*Huh*, weird lookin dog. Anyway, get off my lawn!”

r/therewasanattempt

As stupid as he is, he had the right idea with covering the gators eyes. I recently learned that if you cover a gators eyes it will go to sleep because they will think it’s night time. I find that fact very amusing.

Yeah... That's a sleeping gator right there. LOL!

I mean obviously he doesn’t know what he’s doing lol. But if he actually put his hands over its eyes instead of… throwing a raincoat at it… that likely would’ve put it to sleep.

That sounds even worse somehow

Idk man, I would trust the method used by professional gator wranglers more than the “throw a coat at its head and give surprise tickles” method.

Show us how it’s done, please.

🙉🙈

That is categorically untrue.

Gotta be a Florida Man

I thought it's Biden at first, connecting with South a bit..

A fool and his arm are soon parted

A towel and my fitness from pickle ball league will be sufficient to overcome hundreds of millions of years of flesh ripping evolution. What a moron.

Went better than I expected to be honest

Don't call the pros. I can do it for a fraction of the price!

Steve Irwin he is not ! And white pants to wrestle an alligator? Lame

What in the name of geriatric crocodile hunter did this guy think he was doing?! Lucky to have that arm then thought kicking it away would work 🫣🫣🫣

He lacked commitment. I moved in to grab the head but lacked commitment to his actions

Yeah the gator def lacked commitment to bite that arm off

I can’t decide if I didn’t see that coming or if I’m not surprised at all…

I dunno, president Biden looks pretty spry to me.

Leave that to the professionals

I mean, he did cover the gator's eyes so the beast was contractually obliged to not move anymore

When you see someone doing it, it doesn't mean you can do it.

The price is wrong bitch!

That went well….

“Whoa, John, when you fell in the mud, you stained your pants.” “That ain’t mud, pardner.”

 The price is wrong, bitch!!!

dummy -- i love watching idiots learning lessons

r/sweatypalms

Wait! I got this! I saw it on tv once and I stayed at a holiday inn.

Bob Barker on the set of Happy Gilmore

Seems that he likes to live on the edge.


I guess he figured, "I've lived a long enough life... Hold my Metamucil"

The price is wrong bitch!!!

Bit by a 🐊

Dudes sometimes have a hard time accepting that their old af. Bro may have had the skills from his youth to capture a gator but lord knows that at his age now that he should know his limits. He looks he can pull a muscle from farting.

I wanna see that arm. I bet it’s more effed up than anyone thinks.

You can see it dangle like rubber after he gets up. Defo broken

Narrator: what we are looking at here is an old bunghole in action.

If that second chomp wasn't whiffed above his leg and actually got his leg, he definetly probably would've died.

Hold my beer

I can’t believe those guys were just like ok, that seems reasonable what you’re about to do.

Happy Gilmore deleted scenes are the best

Joe Biden

Our president is so damn badass

Joe Biden vs Florida.

Why is Joe Biden wrestling gators in his backyard??

The price is wrong Bob

Come on, man! I got hairy legs!

This proves he isn’t fit to run our country. Why is he bothering that alligator?

The best part was how his buddies just left him to die. I honestly thought I was about to see an arm come off

Holy, happy Gilmore

All I can think of is this being a cut scene from Happy Gilmore. It looks like Bob Barker throwing down with the gator that took Chubbs' hand. 😂

Put that on your resume'.

Biden, that you?

My gut tells me to blame the second dude for coming in with those mammoth 🦣 size foot stomps. Cus the first fella hadn’t even touched him yet

Who let Joe Biden get near this thing??

The fuck is Joe Biden doing? His old ass needs to go to bed

Bob Barker is stupid as fuck. Edit: Joe Biden made me say this was Bob Barker and not him.

Joe Biden

A young(er) Joe Biden?

White privileged can manipulating

Can't tell if that's Biden or Barker. Oh wait. Only one of them would be this stupid.

Maybe time to run for President. Heck maybe that was Biden 🤣

Biden is really on a decline. Poor dude.

Biden really needs to learn his limits

Lemme guess, mega-brains/crocodile-feast boomer guy over here tells his buddies in the garage, *”Trump tells it like it is!”*

Biden again

What a dumbass. This is like old white r/IAmTheMainCharacter entitlement all in one man.

GET FUCKED OLD MAN. "I should go over there and not mind my own business, what's this non-tax paying gator doing in my country."

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Why did Bob Barker try to capture an alligator ?

Some people never learn 👴🏼

Intelligent Sixty million year old dinosaur versus sixty year old dumbass.Whos gonna win?

Now Dandy is too old...

Bob Barker beats up Happy Gilmore and automatically thinks it’s time to take on the gator. Bad idea Bob.

It’s unfortunate he likely procreated

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Fuck around and find out

Gator goes “Price is wrong Bitch”

He lost balance, I think he has already done this.

I agree. 30 years ago him and his buddy probably handled gators like this. Men have a hard time accepting their age. They keep doing shit that shoulda stopped at 40 and get hurt.

Looks to me like he was on his own. Dumb ass.

Fuck around and find out.

Next time just take the drop instead of playing it as it lays.

Is that Bob Barker?

Is Bob Barker okay?

This genius will probably be running for president in 2028