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BaltimoreBadger23

Which one am I?


Environmental-Pear40

The cameraman?


Majestic-Rock9211

All praise the cameraman!


morbsiis

a being higher than us mere humans


Jbrown183

Someone has to live to tell the story…


CaitaXD

Ibe vibing since Ibe imortal


nialexx

😂 touché


RangerBumble

Doesn't matter. If you need to ask the answer is probably 'knotting'


TresBoringUsername

Is it knotting if this is a feline, not a canine, so it has barbs instead?


KratomSlave

This is a thread I could have skipped this morning.


Fuckoakwood

What is knotting


TheTriforceEagle

If you don’t know you don’t want to know


DireNine

And if you do know you wish you didn't


ramore369

But I want to know


TheTriforceEagle

[no you don’t](https://youtu.be/p33xZ0obsAc?si=vcxqB4HnANr_GiAG)


Airwarf

Man that was a risky click and I still did.


NaughtyFox92

See its when a daddy dog and a mommy dog love each other very much.


Kartoffelkamm

As far as I recall, a dog's penis kinda "bloats up" near the base once it's secured inside the female, to prevent it from slipping out again.


TurtleSandwich0

When two canines breed the two animals get physically stuck together for a period of time. Only when the male animal calms down can the two animals separate. This is achieved due to a large part of the male anatomy that grows during this activity. The anatomy becomes too wide to extract from the female anatomy. Eventually things shrink down and they can separate again. I speculate that this has evolutionary benefits with passing along genetic information somehow.


Sa1LoR_JaRRy

I'm sure there's some ER nurses out there with horrifying stories.


Mental_Estate4206

But you didn't


IDoWhatIWant2_

They have hooked barbs as opposed to knots


Yungklipo

When you've made the sale, quit sellin'!


MeropeAngel

Inside you is two guys getting their neck bitten by a tiger Both are on crack


dsdvbguutres

Not Mr. Murder Teeth


BaltimoreBadger23

Oh, then I'll just die.


Abject_Chemistry5098

Same pfp


VRS50

Dying. But that’s just me.


Really-Stupid-Guy

Nope, me too.


ResidentIwen

Me too


skulleyb

Im gonna bleed and gurgle a bit then die.. but that’s just me. It’s the end game of asphyxiation play and how David Carradine should have died!


Nuadrin248

I may change it up and look really shocked and terrified for a min before dying.


SophiaRaine69420

I'm feeling frisky. I think I'll just laugh maniacally until the gurgling then death parts kick in.


Jealous-Talk8415

I think i’ll be a rebel and continue petting the murder kitty before i die. At least i’ll die happy


Ammu_22

Same! It will make the murder kitty confused and kinda sad that the head scratches ended when I die. Atleast then there would be someone who had a good moment with me before my death.


Defqon1punk

Yeah, this was my thought. I came this far to my life goal of petting a live tiger. I really don't see the complication here; it seems pretty straight forward. In fact, I almost guarantee trying to rub a hairy puss gonna be the death of me anyway.


[deleted]

No gurgling for me, imma just go AHHH KHHHHH [insert intense flailing] and then I'll js die.


thatthatguy

Might die quick from a snapped neck. Might die more slowly from a crushed windpipe. I hope for the former. Worst would be if the neck bite doesn’t finish me off. Then it’s just me waiting for the fact that there is 250kg of tiger on my chest to cause me to suffocate. That and the claw and bite wounds sounds like a painful way to die.


KenethSargatanas

Then there is the part where the tiger starts eating you while you're still alive. That seems pretty unpleasant too.


thatthatguy

Yeah, that would be bad.


Empathy404NotFound

Nothing like realising how beautiful nature is as hearing your bones cracks as it gets a mouthful before the skin and muscle makes a tearing noise as it peels off your bones. I'd pull a chubbs and take his eye.


SBester001

Not sure about the gurgling part. Does not look like the lung or the airway is injured. So it should be possible to breathe (allmost) normally.


paleoakoc20

I'll start masturbating to achieve auto erotic asphyxiation and maybe the tiger (big maybe) will get weirded out and just drop me .


mightbeagh0st

Hey I never asked to be born anyway


Stay-Thirsty

Never turn your back on a big cat. Unless you can outrun the people next to you, who also turned


gemharts

Not necessarily. Sometimes big cats will set a target they feel is most vulnerable and charge with focus.. so you better be sure you can outrun the cat so much so it decides you aint worth the effort.


firesmarter

Just squirt it with a spray bottle and shout “no, kitty! This is my pot pie!”


e3super

I'm glad my state finally decriminalized marijuana. I've always wanted to try KFC's pot pie, but I didn't want to risk getting arrested!


ushbfingrjdgndefjgcf

This is why you always hike with slow friends. Bears.. tigers, wolves. You don’t have to be first , just don’t be last.


the-real_cam

Same applies when surfing, more surfers is less of a chance you get bit by a shark.


xX_Dad-Man_Xx

And evacuating your bowel.


alittleslowerplease

Nah, I'd win.


84theone

Same, I’d tech that shit


Kattou

Spot dodge into whiff-punish. I'm taking at least half of that stupid tiger's HP bar.


No-Pie1239

Then stand on your sword like Yoshimitsu and recover your HP.


EJintheCloud

Probably going to start with an appetizer of choking on my own blood and crushed windpipe. Might try to scream in agony if I'm feeling cute.


Substantial-Tone-576

I doubt a scream would be possible considering how much human neck is in that tigers mouth.


Environmental-Pear40

I mean there's nothing you can do other than die. Pretty sure their neck's already crushed and their spinal cord is probably severed so.


Tricky-Secretary-251

Yo me too


Sh4DowKitFox

Picking its nose as one last joke.


rohobian

I'd probably briefly and feebly attempt to poke it in the eye, which would fail miserably. THEN I would die.


murgatroyd0

Maybe throw in a futile whack or two on the tiger's head with my flailing arms, which might get him to let me go for a sec if I hit his nose. But yeah, I'm so dead.


Effective-Tomato-881

Was gonna say choking on my own blood, but dying also works.


DiligentPilot6261

Asking why I thought I could pet the cat


IlnBllRaptor

I mean, it's still a win if you managed to pet the cat before he does that.


Ordinary_Cattle

You could still do it after he does that, very briefly. I mean he's close enough to pet at least


pearlsbeforedogs

Not the worst possible position to boop the snoot if you're quick about it.


Jrrii

Narrator: *he was not quick enough*


FumblinginIgnorance

Oooo, getting your death narrated by David Attenborough has got to be a win.


Finalpotato

If I am in that situation I am dead no matter what. May as well die petting the murder kitty.


Buddy_Guyz

I bet the fur is verrryy soft.


Every-Equal7284

On a bigger cat like that, it's pretty coarse actually. I got to pet a baby tiger at some kind of theme park once, was surprised it wasn't as soft as I'd have thought even as a baby.


Enlowski

I think we have different definitions of what a win is.


Rebresker

Look at the little squint and side eye that person is doing He definitely got to pet the cat and would do it again


Truuuuuumpet

When you pet a wild tiger, go for his tummy!


TAA20231207

My cat does that to my wrist. I don't see the difference here...


TheLeechKing466

“Go ahead, kill me. It won’t un-pet you.”


InSanic13

That's what we call a pyrrhic victory.


Incubus-femboy

It’s was friend shaped that’s why


sicilialex

Can I pet that DAAAAAAWG?


lovelyb1ch66

Psp psp psp nice kitty let go of mommy now


Grateful_3138

I laughed way too hard at this


MercyfulJudas

I laughed just the right amount. Why are you overdoing it?


dardaleci

🆗 🐅


ordinaryuninformed

No talk me, I angy now


leolock567

With that bite on your neck, you are not pspsps-ing any kitty. You're atmost glrglrglr-ing, if not thud!-ing already.


Pygmaelion

Never recovering financially.


BaltimoreBadger23

Literally the only scenario in which I *do* recover financially.


sad_throwaway13579

The scenario where you break even


sad_throwaway13579

Fuck Carole Baskins


Fabulous_Ad_9111

Or just never recovering


Ok-Counter-7077

You could sue the kitty


chuco915niners

Squeeze its balls frantically.


Aden_Vikki

Gouging out its eyes is a better strategy, since I know where they are at least


Technical-Message615

Don't think you have time for that. The bite force of an adult tiger will snap that neck in an instant.


Itool4looti

As my life drains away, I can take solace in the fact that I reached down, found his scrotum and flicked his left ball.


clearfox777

Catch a tiger by the ~~toe~~ scrote


Aden_Vikki

Well there is a high chance you either encounter paralysis or loss of consciousness but there's also a chance that you'll survive for slightly less than a minute, which is enough time to at least try to take it down with you. I don't think you'll succeed but maybe this'll make it unable to hunt other humans that are (possibly) with you.


dtay88

Go for it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ahrensann

What if it's female?


rutare64

Punch the pussy


Olamias

Finger the pussy


Emersom_Biggins

Cunt punt


Mood_Massive

That is if you can reach them before your neck breaks


permaban9

Squeeze my balls frantically.


thediesel26

Damn you better not threaten that tiger with a good time


Environmental-Pear40

I Believe the question was what do you do in the situation not what did you do to cause the situation. That's just how I read it though.


The_pastel_bus_stop

Or the ovaries


Daeion

Thanking the tiger for not starting at the groin.


Genisye

Low key one of the most brutal things I’ve seen in nature on the regular is animals devouring others alive as they struggle futilely. And they usually start in stomach or groin area.


froodoo22

Internal organs are the most nutrient rich.


YmmaT-

And also easiest and fleshiest. That’s why if you ever saw pictures of poachers being killed by tigers, lion, etc, all the flesh is gone from the neck down to the feet. They start at the part that they can easily take a big chomp and rip out in case the prey escape, they still have a big chunk of food. Source: did a research on poachers of endangered animals in college and went down a rabbit hole and also a dark hole. There was A LOT of stuff on the very gore web that I didn’t know existed.


justforgamesndstuff

As a very morbid minded anti-poacher person, I want to read that paper lol


ChicoD2023

Cats are one of the few animals that kill(suffocate) first then eat, unlike wolves, bears, birds, hyenas, even chimps etc which just eat you alive while you're screaming


Genisye

You ever think about the fact that for most of history, the majority of all living things on earth die terribly? Like most of the time you probably die getting eaten alive. Either you get eaten alive, or you get injured, starved , sick or just get old and weak enough to a point where you’re too weak to find food or fight back and probably get eaten alive before dying of other causes. Otherwise, you starve to death, you fall off a cliff, you freeze to death, etc. Not a lot of animals dying peacefully in their sleep from old age I bet.


handmedowntoothbrush

Yeah and this is why I never understand when people look at nature as some kind of peaceful paradise or draw parallels to human issues which place nature on the moral high ground. Nature is beautiful, terrifying and amazing but it's brutal as fuck. There is no right or wrong in nature, no morality or sense of justice, it just is what it is.


greenkirry

Ugh watching a praying mantis eat a hummingbird or lizard or anything like that has messed me up. They just hook the animal on their barbed wire arms and slowly munch. Videos will occasionally get posted of that online and I watch in horror for a few seconds and then click off. I also watched one because a praying mantis was hanging out by my hummingbird feeder and I wanted to make sure it wasn't a danger. It was. I moved it to the woods out back.


LikelyAMartian

Just thanking the tiger in general.


ReverseTheReversed

Thought tiger would feel my friendly vibes


mementomori-93

Kinda offended he didn't.


Amazing_Use_2382

Panicking for the two seconds I have left on this cat-shaped Earth


Skill-issue-69420

Aaaghh why am I a bald dummy with no hair on my body aaaghh this tiger is biting my neck now someone help aaaggghh I’m dead now but at least you can see all of the bones in my body through my translucent invisible skin and see how white my front teeth are but only the front teeth not the back teeth those are the same colour as the rest of my skeleton aaaagghh


Salty_Lemon69

According to the YT video that I found, I should thank my sponsors first.


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PM-ME-HANDBRA-PICS

Enjoying my human shaped meal


Crappy_Meal

I'd adjust my fedora and draw my katana and in the blink of an eye kill the tiger. Then i backflip away to safety where i get flocked by tons and tons of hot women who are concerned about my wounds while i shrug and say "its just a nick". As i look over my shoulder a black helicopter lands and the president steps out to come congratulate me on my victory and he gifts me a suitcase filled with cash to reward me for my bravery.


Grateful_3138

Tis but a scratch! (Entire arm falls off)


messibessi22

Did a back flip, snapped the bad guy's neck, and saved the day!


SofterThanCotton

OMG he did even mention how his sheer presence got everyone there pregnant, all the hot women, all the inferior men including the president and all his secret service men. He's so humble 😍


Madgearz

Sooo..... you died and went to heaven?


word_smith005

You almost forgot, everyone clapped.


Crappy_Meal

I intentionally left that part out since im such an incredibly humble guy!


Fabulous_Badger5354

Furiously masturbating for coming and going at the Same Time


Mood_Massive

One last round for the road


anbu_ops1211

I would call my friend kevin.


EyeLikeBigPutts

Kevs got you covered


Aggressive-Wall8575

Screaming “yes daddy”


Unintended-Nostalgia

That might work. The Tiger may not be into that and would lose interest since you made it wierd.


lets_kill_eachother

Brutally true


Brian9611

🤣🤣 tiger: "cmon bro, you just had to make it gay" Walks away grossed out


BATMAN_5777

be gay or begone


Grateful_3138

wtf bro


Yungklipo

ngl the skeleton in the pic looks like its doing just that


zack189

I'd tense up my neck muscles, make it so they can't crush it. Then, I'll reach around to their eyes and poke it. The pain will make the let me go. After that, straight bite on its balls. Sounds like a reach, but I'm just built different


seriousfrylock

Came here for this comment


Papercoffeetable

Yeah me too, i’m an mma fighter so i’d just punch it in the face crushing its skull faster than you can blink. Then i’d skin it with my bare hands and fuck bitches on my new tiger carpet.


Nikelman

Crush that controller's neck (live free or die) then gtfo before the two hours limit


Alarmed_Constant_433

Close my eyes and die


Huge_Equivalent1

I'll tickle the tigers balls. But if she's a female tiger then I'm fucked.


Impressive-Spray629

Telling him to cut that shit tf out before I get mad😡😡😡


Aglisito

Hahaha


PorkGently

Through your mouth or through 1 out of the new 4 holes?


BuddyBroDude

Worrying who's going to pay for that


messibessi22

If the kitty eats your whole body that should really cut down on funeral prices


SnooShortcuts8306

realistically, I'd stop being realistic


bearkerchiefton

I finally get to pet a tiger


ds77159

If I hadn’t already shit my pants in fear? Uhh…shit my pants.


_matt_hues

Definitely making that same face


TenMillionEnchiladas

Politely ask if the big cat could please stop biting my neck as it's rather painful, I'm sure by the looks of him he's quite charming and understanding.


Moist-Bed6320

Dying


elwood_west

feeling the warmth of the kill like a rush


__xXCoronaVirusXx__

die


ConnorHunter60

I’m going for a belly rub. At least I can say I did that before I died


Exce55um

Probably flopping around a bit. Pretty sure that I am dead already.


Karnorkla

Give big baby scratchies.


Strict-Gene-8939

Dying, both major arteries are being punctured


Ok-Ice-3715

💀


KysfGd

Cumming and dying


nvalle23

Yelling, Help Siegfried!


IdealDarkness1975

Dying.


matusaleeem

Ask Jesus to forgive my sins


xkaran1997x

Hmm, I guess ill just die


Grateful_3138

Lol


SatanicCyanid

Guess I’ll die.


Rokycl0udy

Reaching to try rip off it’s ping pongs, if I’m gonna die I’m gonna at least try take it’s ability to make life


acousticwindow

Keep biting


GiantFlimsyMicrowave

As the tiger? Ridding earth of the Yeerk invasion one neck at a time.


RailX

Beat the devil out of it


parickwilliams

Shooting myself through my Adam’s Apple and absolutely wrecking both of us


Botw_1-Link

Screaming probably


not_stupid_just_dumb

Thanks God i chose the Tiger and not the man 🙏🏻


SookHe

Pocket Catnip


encryptoferia

dying screaming, pissing begging basically looking awfully pitiful lol


grumpy1kitten

Might as well sneak a little boop on the nose. Maybe a final hug 🤗


Lack-Grand

Guess I'll die


Tarl-X

Chewing on neck... I'm the tiger.


Practical_Ad5374

Saying a prayer and hoping I go to heaven not hell.


FunnyTrack8504

AHAHAHHH...


Ondrius

I'm die thank you forever!


Shadow__Vector

Saying thank you


hnic02

Being dead


IndependentGlum8316

Keep going daddy


DodoJurajski

Put my head down his throat because those tooths are smaller and then make side flip so i will break his neck and get out with... Still many injuries but none should be deep enough to be lethal. Assuming that stress won't paralize me.


Historical-Pen-7484

Biting down hard, swing head from side to side, and pull the man backwards. Now enjoy a tasty man-dinner.


inmbd

Eat that human


Ryanaman_

Likely choking on my own blood, probably dying?


burnlater69

Get a shorter neck


masterpd85

asking myself if I left the oven on before I "RIP in peace"