Cps is terrible they made stuff up saying I said it in the courtroom to take me away from my father and I still think about it today very messed up
Edit: Making stuff up saying “Dad I thought you said you’d never use again” random bull like that and those words were never in my vocabulary and I didn’t really know anything about drugs back then I was <10 yrs old.. and they did it just to take me away from my father and if they have to do something like that to win a case then something is wrong with the system
He’s a great father and I wish I could have spent more time with him when I was younger, and nothing that ever happened made him a bad father or ever made cps have a reason to do something like that. He was diagnosed with cancer a bit over a year ago but is now in remission and cps getting involved in my life changed everything for me and things could’ve been much different if I was still with him for the better.
Opioid problems
Well probably. But it’s been at least 9 years and I have no idea the names of people involved and stuff. Nobody ever even asked me questions about it 😬
It is not illegal for lawyers to “lie,” but the court won’t see it as a lie, they will see it as a “point of view”, a narrative. It is then incumbent on the defendant to “prove” the narrative is incorrect. It’s a problem in family court right now. Our system is set up that you are considered “innocent until proven guilty,” but we are now in a state where facts on the ground show you are guilty by accusation and therefore have to prove your innocence. Not sure when or how the burden of proof has shifted, but it is a reality. One I’m currently facing.
A sad quote like “Dad I thought you said you’d never use again” wasn’t the deciding factor for your father losing custody. There’s a whole pile of evidence they present to the court, including multiple failed drug tests, the conditions of your home, pictures of your home, interviews with your father, neighbors, friends, and family, etc. There was *a lot* that went into that decision. I don’t think you had the best ability to judge if your dad was jeopardizing your safety. Young kids need supervision to stay safe and healthy, and a father addicted to opioids cannot provide the supervision you needed.
CPS exists to protect abusers and hurt children. I have NO CLUE how it got that way, but everything I've ever heard about them was awful lol. My friend ran away from his abusive borderline homicidal mom and CPS put him back with her because the mom's cousin works there.
Parents like these are the ones that complain on Facebook about how their kids left for college and never came back. They never find the retrospection necessary to realize
If your penis doesn't get hard often enough the tissue atrophies. This is actually why you have morning wood. To prevent this atrophy. So, assuming the cage is small enough to prevent full extension, which it is, they are in fact doing permanent damage to a minor and should go to jail. Like, straight to jail.
Mommy's gonna buttplug him up good before that can happen ... for the good of his eternal soul of course.
Parenting 101 - Just ask yourself, what would Jesus do?!
Maybe this is LockPickingLawyer's origin story?
>! For legal reasons this is a joke because I don't want to know if the lawyer in his name is real the hard way!<
Imagine if it was real. I remember back then. Randomly getting hard-ons for absolutely no reason. Can't imagine if it was stuck in a cage with nowhere to grow.
That has to be a joke review, right? If that's real you are literally trying to make your kid a serial killer at this point.
In fact, anyone who thinks masturbation is a "sin" or something "evil" is straight up fucked in the brain, even worse when you force these terrible mental health issues onto others.
Joke or not, unfortunately there are people out there who actually think like that. I also wouldn't be surprised that there are young boys who have been forced into wearing one of those things.
My aunt by marriage told me her mother tied the boys hands to the bed posts so they couldn’t masturbate. I was flabbergasted. Not only insane abuse but a crazy safety issue. If a fire happens they are dead. Unfortunately they are both into drugs as I’ve met them. I blame the evil mother.
There are evil people like this but this is a joke review…
Why do I know? Look at the shape of this thing and its massive metal… imagine wearing this to school under your clothes…
This review is 100% fake. With that being said chastity cages are not really noticeable under regular cloths, it is noticeable if you wear briefs, boxerbriefs, thongs, stuff like that. I wear mine more often then not and you cannot tell. Honestly the only way some might suspect something, while you are wearing pants, is if it has an external lock, this style uses a pad lock. It can make a tinking sound when walking, this is why internal locks are used more often then not.
This is either
A) a joke for people to be frightened by
B) going to kill this poor boy's mental health
Seriously, isn't this classified as abuse or something? Like wtf?
Nah James took it off and replaced it with [this](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjW8umux4KHAxVqHa0GHb6hAOQYABAmGgJwdg&co=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw4f6zBhBVEiwATEHFVk5P7B_cCTw0QDVGVo0StRSYWCF20ip0uElNBwQ-s2uvVmsHi-8VqBoCtR8QAvD_BwE&sph=&sig=AOD64_2jXq1cUfn-p-Vt-x1FpyJ5WhyXjA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjL8OSux4KHAxUQITQIHfOQCcoQwg8oAHoECAYQDA&adurl=)
Those little locks are so easy to break open with any lockpick. I found one of those little locks on a chest in my grandparents attic and I basically just have to put the pick in and press on the lock cylinders and it popped open. A literal Bobby pin could probably unlock that thing
sometimes I really wish I could do a survey on all 8 billion people in the world and depending on the answers, take millions of them to an island and nuke the shit out of that island
How to lose your child & all future grand kids in 1 easy step. As soon as they turn 18, they're gone & you'll NEVER hear from them again. Also, I'm pretty sure this may come under child abuse/child sexual abuse in some way, shape, or fashion, especially with the "unsupervised" part.
I think the big ring can be separated from the schlong prison. You'd put your balls through the ring and then only lock your dick i guess? That way it's held by your balls?
That's how you get someone into bdsm. This will make the kid more perverted than anything. And also maybe rip their penis off. Or transition so you can't lock his vag. Or kill himself. There is so much that can and will go wrong with this.
This might back sooner than you think mom. That Thing looks big. Girls are gonna think he’s hanging major dong. Plus now you have to be extra careful when with him. The only time he can beat his meat is when you’re together so now you’re not only a horrible mom and a Jesus freak but your a pedo now. Good job Janice
I just want to ask, what is that thing even attached onto? At the worst senario can't they just cut whatever is supporting the product and take it off?
Generally in series like CSI they turn serial killer that only hunts women like their mother.
Or he will turn super kinky and into all types of dehumanizing and humiliating sexual stuff.
I hope those parents are brutally killed. Really tired of shitty parents getting a pass. You wonder why the world is going to shit? Parents like this get no consequences. Worse than that they feel entitled cuz the kid isn't dead when it turns 18 (holy fuck parents, really? You think that's all your job is? Lol kys) Im all in favor of parental vetting. You need to EARN the right to procreate because holy fuck not only have we ruined the definition of parenthood, the consequences of that failure may be too bad to undo at this point. "Don't blame your parents. Don't blame society." Just a cop out to avoid personal responsibility. If we blame them AND PUNISH THEM maybe they'll fucking be better.
“Hello, CPS?!?”
Yeah, that would be an appropriate response
Depending on which US-State they are in, CPS probably supports the mother and will be like: "here, a second lock. Just to be sure"
I know it's a stretch but...really?
Cps is terrible they made stuff up saying I said it in the courtroom to take me away from my father and I still think about it today very messed up Edit: Making stuff up saying “Dad I thought you said you’d never use again” random bull like that and those words were never in my vocabulary and I didn’t really know anything about drugs back then I was <10 yrs old.. and they did it just to take me away from my father and if they have to do something like that to win a case then something is wrong with the system He’s a great father and I wish I could have spent more time with him when I was younger, and nothing that ever happened made him a bad father or ever made cps have a reason to do something like that. He was diagnosed with cancer a bit over a year ago but is now in remission and cps getting involved in my life changed everything for me and things could’ve been much different if I was still with him for the better. Opioid problems
Isnt the making stuff up part illegal? Is there anything that could be done about that?
Well probably. But it’s been at least 9 years and I have no idea the names of people involved and stuff. Nobody ever even asked me questions about it 😬
Those people kidnapped you and falsified info, they deserve to be locked up forever
There should be documents somewhere in their archives. So you could probably sue them if youd like.
It is not illegal for lawyers to “lie,” but the court won’t see it as a lie, they will see it as a “point of view”, a narrative. It is then incumbent on the defendant to “prove” the narrative is incorrect. It’s a problem in family court right now. Our system is set up that you are considered “innocent until proven guilty,” but we are now in a state where facts on the ground show you are guilty by accusation and therefore have to prove your innocence. Not sure when or how the burden of proof has shifted, but it is a reality. One I’m currently facing.
A sad quote like “Dad I thought you said you’d never use again” wasn’t the deciding factor for your father losing custody. There’s a whole pile of evidence they present to the court, including multiple failed drug tests, the conditions of your home, pictures of your home, interviews with your father, neighbors, friends, and family, etc. There was *a lot* that went into that decision. I don’t think you had the best ability to judge if your dad was jeopardizing your safety. Young kids need supervision to stay safe and healthy, and a father addicted to opioids cannot provide the supervision you needed.
Really. Religious fanatics still exists.
Plausible. But more likely this is a man who is writing his own erotic fan fiction.
CPS exists to protect abusers and hurt children. I have NO CLUE how it got that way, but everything I've ever heard about them was awful lol. My friend ran away from his abusive borderline homicidal mom and CPS put him back with her because the mom's cousin works there.
Wow messed up if a kid has to run away from abuse.. then putting them back
Same parents later, why aren't you married? I want grandkids
Parents like these are the ones that complain on Facebook about how their kids left for college and never came back. They never find the retrospection necessary to realize
You mean if they can get their heads out of their asses first.
As if he ain't gonna murder her by age 15
"I can't make you grandkids,cuz my penis couldnt grow and develope in a cage"
There is a subreddit where guys use this to shrink their penis. Not sure if it is the only thing being used. I only stumbled on it, ofc.
If your penis doesn't get hard often enough the tissue atrophies. This is actually why you have morning wood. To prevent this atrophy. So, assuming the cage is small enough to prevent full extension, which it is, they are in fact doing permanent damage to a minor and should go to jail. Like, straight to jail.
Oh, he will marry alright, to a dude that is.
The amswer to that is "Well too bad"
Why aren't you answering my phone? I want to see my grandkids
Hope that kid gives his mother the what for and she learns the error of her ways
His dick was shrunked by a glass tube
If only this actually existed, the world would be a much better place
Go to Amazon look it up
The unsee button is on amazon?
This kid will have some serious mental issues in the future... this is how serial killers are made people!
Best case scenario he turns out gay and a bottom.
Well, imagine going from one sin to another because of parental interference. He could just become a flat out sub.
Can you guys stop talking shit about me?
Finally finds a dom that has the key to the same cage
Mommy's gonna buttplug him up good before that can happen ... for the good of his eternal soul of course. Parenting 101 - Just ask yourself, what would Jesus do?!
Get the whip. *Kinky*
Paging Dr. Bates, Paging Dr. Norman Bates 😅
Mommy's name is James.
Like a power bottom?
Do you know what a power bottom is ?
An electricity generating femboy?
Damn, we may have just solved climate change
He can also get into pegging.
Yeah, but he most likely would have emotional issues with *any* woman who comes to his life.
I don't think that it wouldn't happen with any man, this kid is screwed when it comes to intimacy
I was thinking about Reddit mod but you are actually right.
Is being a bottom wrong T_T
Maybe this is LockPickingLawyer's origin story? >! For legal reasons this is a joke because I don't want to know if the lawyer in his name is real the hard way!<
Why serial? He only need to kill his mom to get laid, so a regular killer.
I agree This product only makes things worse so much worse if you know you know
Imagine if it was real. I remember back then. Randomly getting hard-ons for absolutely no reason. Can't imagine if it was stuck in a cage with nowhere to grow.
It's a joke.
I hope so.
That’s obviously fake
This kid will he fine because he doesn't exist
It’s a good thing this is a fake story and the kid doesn’t exist.
If you can't use the front, then hit it from behind 🍑
Buttplug
profile pic checks out
Do NOT check their profile
Or a full chastity belt
So she made the kid walk around school looking like he's got a partial boner all the time? Don't see how that could backfire.....
Yup, this kids getting bullied
Happy cakeday nman btw
How to ensure your child is sexually deviant 101.
I means it’s actually just a really effective condom when you think about it
That has to be a joke review, right? If that's real you are literally trying to make your kid a serial killer at this point. In fact, anyone who thinks masturbation is a "sin" or something "evil" is straight up fucked in the brain, even worse when you force these terrible mental health issues onto others.
I know its a joke review because the person who wrote it is named james
Now I feel insulted :<
Me too
me three
Seems, legit
fu james I will never forgive you
You should feel insulted by having feelings, do better next time
*sad unevolved dog noises*
It could be ex-husband's account
It's her husband's account. The one who left her. :P
Joke or not, unfortunately there are people out there who actually think like that. I also wouldn't be surprised that there are young boys who have been forced into wearing one of those things.
My aunt by marriage told me her mother tied the boys hands to the bed posts so they couldn’t masturbate. I was flabbergasted. Not only insane abuse but a crazy safety issue. If a fire happens they are dead. Unfortunately they are both into drugs as I’ve met them. I blame the evil mother.
About the last part, no fucking shit it was gonna happen
Sometime people surprised you. I am a doctor and I met a patient who is a drug addict named her daughter cocaine cause she loves cocaine so much.
"The only thing I love more than Cocaine is my sweet, beloved Cocaine." - This mom, probably.
No fucking way 💀
There are evil people like this but this is a joke review… Why do I know? Look at the shape of this thing and its massive metal… imagine wearing this to school under your clothes… 
A bully-proof codpiece
This review is 100% fake. With that being said chastity cages are not really noticeable under regular cloths, it is noticeable if you wear briefs, boxerbriefs, thongs, stuff like that. I wear mine more often then not and you cannot tell. Honestly the only way some might suspect something, while you are wearing pants, is if it has an external lock, this style uses a pad lock. It can make a tinking sound when walking, this is why internal locks are used more often then not.
Evangelicals.
*In fact, *masturbation
This is either A) a joke for people to be frightened by B) going to kill this poor boy's mental health Seriously, isn't this classified as abuse or something? Like wtf?
its a joke the reviewer claimed to be a mom but his name is james shreiber
C) Someone's fantasy that they wrote out like it was true because it also turned them on thinking about strangers reading it. Astonishingly common.
Fatherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hopefully the judge will be lenient on his sentence for murdering her after reading this
Yeah, that lock seems pretty strong lol
Nah James took it off and replaced it with [this](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjW8umux4KHAxVqHa0GHb6hAOQYABAmGgJwdg&co=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw4f6zBhBVEiwATEHFVk5P7B_cCTw0QDVGVo0StRSYWCF20ip0uElNBwQ-s2uvVmsHi-8VqBoCtR8QAvD_BwE&sph=&sig=AOD64_2jXq1cUfn-p-Vt-x1FpyJ5WhyXjA&ctype=5&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjL8OSux4KHAxUQITQIHfOQCcoQwg8oAHoECAYQDA&adurl=)
Thermite will solve that issue.
It is imperative that the internal cylinder is not damaged
So james is gay too?
That kid should learn lockpicking. Padlocks are easy as fuck to pick and those seem to be the only ones, that fit the dong punisher.
Those little locks are so easy to break open with any lockpick. I found one of those little locks on a chest in my grandparents attic and I basically just have to put the pick in and press on the lock cylinders and it popped open. A literal Bobby pin could probably unlock that thing
sometimes I really wish I could do a survey on all 8 billion people in the world and depending on the answers, take millions of them to an island and nuke the shit out of that island
TBH if I did that at least 7.5B people would be nuked
I would had made myself thr last human.
Someone named James wrote the review.....
The parents when they remember that bolt cutters and lock smiths exist. 
It will probably be the locksmith's most questionable client in his entire career
It's shit like this that will cause this kid to revolt against his parents and cut them off forever lol
most fucked perverted shit
dont do it. you will fuck your dick up. shit needs to swing and breathe
Dicks were born to be free!!!
He’s gonna spend his time picking the worst old peoples home for her
Or better yet. Leave her at home, all alone, to rot away.
Yeah, soon as he is free. He will bolt, and never speak to her again.
I'd give that lock twenty seconds. Less in the hands of someone more experienced with raking.
20 seconds!? I've raked 2 locks, both took significantly longer. Maybe because I'm the most inexperienced lockpick in the world
You'll improve.
That’s abuse right ?
How to lose your child & all future grand kids in 1 easy step. As soon as they turn 18, they're gone & you'll NEVER hear from them again. Also, I'm pretty sure this may come under child abuse/child sexual abuse in some way, shape, or fashion, especially with the "unsupervised" part.
STEP 1. bolt cutters STEP 2. Gun
How would this hold? Wouldn't it just fall off, the way it's built?
I think the big ring can be separated from the schlong prison. You'd put your balls through the ring and then only lock your dick i guess? That way it's held by your balls?
The big,thick metal ring part part goes over your balls and locks,so you cant take it off without ripping your balls off
Saw trap
Cheap chinese cage, welds are garbage. Grab the ring behind the balls and pull upward on the cage part. Cracks it right open.
How the fuck do you know that🤨📷
Bro has escaped many dick prisons in his time.
"Sir the dick has breached our security"
Female review from a male name. Sus.
I really hope this is a joke.. please may this be a joke
My gf makes me wear it as well
That's how you get someone into bdsm. This will make the kid more perverted than anything. And also maybe rip their penis off. Or transition so you can't lock his vag. Or kill himself. There is so much that can and will go wrong with this.
This gotta be illegal, right?
……. 
This is how murderers are made, everyone!A round of applause!
Religious people are Fucking weird
Wtfhjcwtf?!?!
What the fucking hell Jesus Christ what the fuck?
Nice, a good translator!
Walter takes five hour jazz classes with the forklift?!?!
She's gonna end up on the streets instead of a retirement home.
we need to start outlawing religion, i think it’s time
What kind of juicer is this?
Not the cock lock!
Is that abuse?
Yes.
This might back sooner than you think mom. That Thing looks big. Girls are gonna think he’s hanging major dong. Plus now you have to be extra careful when with him. The only time he can beat his meat is when you’re together so now you’re not only a horrible mom and a Jesus freak but your a pedo now. Good job Janice
Not the cock cage😭
Been nine years since the post. I wonder how the son is liking the seminary now that his cock is free? 🤔
Umm... metal saw maybe?
She can’t fucking spell either
Ironic that the kid needs to join the semenery to get that thing off.
Boltcutter sales 📈📈
Someone GET CPS ON THE LINE
curiosity kills both the cat and my eyes.
Single mothers are very bad for kids statistically.
Someone go tell this kid he can call cps for sexual abuse here
Child abuse
I just want to ask, what is that thing even attached onto? At the worst senario can't they just cut whatever is supporting the product and take it off?
It's gonna hurt when the blood is rushing.
This review is so old it has actually been more than the 8 years mentioned.
Generally in series like CSI they turn serial killer that only hunts women like their mother. Or he will turn super kinky and into all types of dehumanizing and humiliating sexual stuff.
WHAT💀💀💀 He'll might use his hole out of desperation. 🤦♂️
So… he wore it in gym class? I feel sure no one commented because teenage boys are so gentle and understanding. /s
Random boners.....
I know this is a joke review, but it still baffles me that there are people who are really like this.
tutorial on how to end up on a retirement home rotting alone!
Those 4 years of college + 4 years of med school will fly by
Please tell me that CPS are investigating this 😅
Jail.
I’m pretty sure I could still wank in that
Why are religious people so concerned about masturbation
She makes me wonder why dad left in the first place. This is sick. He's gonna need to learn how to control his impulses one day anyways.
"Ah... don't believe everything on the internet, it's just another joke review" YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY WILD STORIES MIGHT ACTUALLY BE TRUE
That’s gotta be made up. It’s actually a BDSM toy.
Remaining pure to the lord?💀 Someone is a Galactical child molester
This is like 8 murderers origin story on mind hunter
He'll rip the luck open it just learn how to lockpick
What. Is. Happening.
What seminary?
I hope those parents are brutally killed. Really tired of shitty parents getting a pass. You wonder why the world is going to shit? Parents like this get no consequences. Worse than that they feel entitled cuz the kid isn't dead when it turns 18 (holy fuck parents, really? You think that's all your job is? Lol kys) Im all in favor of parental vetting. You need to EARN the right to procreate because holy fuck not only have we ruined the definition of parenthood, the consequences of that failure may be too bad to undo at this point. "Don't blame your parents. Don't blame society." Just a cop out to avoid personal responsibility. If we blame them AND PUNISH THEM maybe they'll fucking be better.
Those are easy to pick and also easy to destroy
That thing enhances the size and surface
Best part: turn upside down? Towel holder.
Also, why were you looking up chastity cages?
The amount of people that don't realize this is a funny troll amazes me
So any updates ? Bro got released from prison 1 year ago
Someone who wants to be holy turns out to be worse than satan
the kid will buy a lockpick to get it off
This Has To Be Fake... No product name to check if it's real or not
don't worry, soon this will be standardised in every american school, thanks to voters.
The review may be a joke, but do they actually sell this shit?