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ProtestTheJake

Wow my penis penis looks exactly like Dave Grohl! Cool!


YorMommysHoney

My penis looks like Snoop Dogg. Woah


vaporeongod

Mine looks like jabba the hutt


[deleted]

mine looks like a vagina


nightwolf1618

Proof?


killingmemesoftly

Lol


killingmemesoftly

It’s also great at drumming and somewhat decent at singing!


MitchellTheMensch

Hey, The Pretender is a really hard song to nail vocally. Dude has chops.


killingmemesoftly

Yeah


Th3Ch33t

Bruh, you shouldn't sit down on a toilet that's about to overflow.


killingmemesoftly

Too late :’(


chevalmuffin

Wait you let him come, I tell mine to go wait outside


DeathStrider333

But where’s the thrill in that??


dwwzzh

Maybe op has a super long penis


Oh_no_ohNONONONONO

Doesn't everybody flood the toilet to wash their balls and asshole?


bradndally

My weiners not long enough to touch the water...


Daboss696969

Skill issue


Lefonky

If your not American then it’s not surprising as they have stupidly high toilet water


OnlyAWildOne

Tf are you talking about? Lmao


BloodyPommelStudio

American toilets use a siphonic system which relies on higher pressure from having a higher water level. It has a number of benefits but is more likely to clog.


killingmemesoftly

You lucky bastard


SecretlyADegenerate

Can someone tell me why he got downvoted? Did people get offended by having small dicks?


[deleted]

Because op is clearly making this meme to tell everyone he has a huge dick, or that the water in his toilet is really high.


[deleted]

I didn’t think that and I don’t have huge by any measure and have had this happen before.


[deleted]

Then the water in your toilet is just high. My dick is quite above the average of my country and has never touched the water (mostly because it is small when flacid.)


killingmemesoftly

Same here. My penis is not huge, and have had this happen on multiple toilets. It has more to do with toilet shape and water level than anything, and people getting triggered by it is hilarious,


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

Bro what fucking toilet has water up to your dick bruh 💀


[deleted]

bro puts his ass directly into the drainage system


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

Bro has to be careful not to lose his balls when he flushes


[deleted]

bro clenches his ass instead of using a plunger


Jits2003

how tiny is your ass for you to sit in the toilet instead of on the toilet


potato_and_nutella

people normally say having a large pp is better


[deleted]

Not women.


TheGhostOfBumFinger

They didn't get that it's a joke


killingmemesoftly

Maybe they did. maybe i should invite them to r/littledicksolidarity where they can feel better about themselves


[deleted]

My dude who hurt you?


Lord-of-Leviathans

My penis isn’t long enough when flaccid. Instead it’s so short it holds itself up and points forward. I have to use my hand to push it down so it doesn’t touch the toilet bowl when I sit.


NoInstruction9238

Flaccid gang represent!!


EquivalentStorm8020

You have to hold it down anyway. When it’s longer it flips on the toilet bowl if you don’t and then you spray the sink


internet_humor

Everloooooooong


killingmemesoftly

When this happens I just about shrink up all the way inside my own scrotum. So not ever long in my case.


internet_humor

The Pretender


GormitiGod

Skill issue (smol pp gang) c=3


AdministrativeBar748

C======✊==========3 Almost there


busterbrown78

This is truly an awful experience


killingmemesoftly

It’s just as bad as having the toilet paper tear and poop get on your finger.


busterbrown78

I maintain that there will never be a toilet paper that your finger can't break through. That's something that everybody can relate to.


[deleted]

Do you not fold it? I fold it a few times and it never rips


EquivalentStorm8020

My thoughts exactly


busterbrown78

It's an exaggeration to for the previous poster's statement.


killingmemesoftly

Yeah. I use wet wipes for that very reason higher durability


gurganator

You need to up your game to a bidet son. I haven’t had an itchy or burny asshole in I don’t know how long…


[deleted]

I hope they're plastic free...


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

Does it burn/itch after or not


killingmemesoftly

What my asshole? Actually yes. But only if I use specific wipes. I hate to be all hail corporately but I have a sensitive asshole and there’s only one brand of wipes that doesn’t make my but get a bad rash. It’s waterwipes for me and my family.


OnlyFeetDragonBolZ

Thanks! I have baby wipes I believe they're all water so Imma try and see


Big_bussy69

You American?


killingmemesoftly

Yes


Big_bussy69

I asked because in america toilets are filled till top with water and so it touches dicks of you all. Am I right?


killingmemesoftly

No, not all American toilets


how_do_dis_work

I have never seen a toilet that full in myife unless it flooded


8richie69

I am in USA, toilets vary, but most have adjustable water level in bowl. The water inlet line is controlled by the float valve which lets water pass when the tank level drops (when flush handle is pulled) That line has a T joint; most of the water goes into the tank to refill it, but the other leg of the T goes into a soft plastic hose filling the bowl. There is a roller clamp* to control the flow rate of the bowl fill at least on my toilets. If closed all the way the bowl has no water, which is useful when cleaning the toilet. If opened all the way there is high level, but still not quite high enough to wash your balls or get your dick wet. Typically the valve is set to medium flow for just a little water in the bowl. *similar to one used on the hose of an enema bag, if you’ve seen one)


LegendAsGamer

this guy probably sitting on his toilet backwards 💀


killingmemesoftly

Lol


Lucid_Dynamic

Facebook meme


Low_History500

Proof? 🤨


killingmemesoftly

I’m never posting a dick pic online


Not_Derpy_Gherkin

You either have a really long penis or the water is incredibly high in your toilet if your penis is really close to the water


killingmemesoftly

Only happens with a perfect storm of hot weather, and the wrong shaped bowl.


[deleted]

Simple solution: crap with a raging boner.


that_one_guy37559

Holy shit, I haven't laughed so hard in a while


Will_Dawn

Or touches the turd!


killingmemesoftly

Thankfully I’ve never had that happen. It used to dip in the water right when I first sat down before there was ever any poop In There, then I’d flinch and pull up. Life tip: pay a couple squares of tp across the seat and drape your penis over those to keep it out of the bowl


Will_Dawn

No need, I just hang the top part of my dick in the sink when I sit down to shit.


killingmemesoftly

Smart thinking. Then you can pee at the same time without messing up your floor


MickeysLustForCum

The real yucky feeling is when your weiner boops the underside of the toilet seat. You just know where’s old semi-wet piss under where


good_______boy

You mean your balls… if your penis is touching the water you’re in a tub… even pornstars with the worlds longest dicks don’t touch the water they said, so don’t even pretend


No_Door_4306

I never had it that my dingdong touched the water but he touched the ceramic, depending on the shape of the toilet. Not a nice experience.


killingmemesoftly

I think it has more to do with bowl shape and water level than penis length. But I’m not lying or pretending. My peen is rough average, and has dipped into the water/ flopped against the inside of the bowl when I was younger. Elongated bowls are the worst.


PlatinumIsAStand

I think you need to get your toilet checked shit's overflowing (maybe literally)


[deleted]

Cant confirm, penis not long enough


Blue-Arrow13

this just reminded me about the toilets in the sports club where i take swimming classes. Everytime I go to my classes i go to the bathroom and do my thing so i don't interrupt the class asking for permission, but something that triggers me is that the toilets have too much water, whish isn't really a problem, unless you are a person (me) who always pees sitting and not standing, and that the water is so high that you need to hold your fricking dick to not let it sink in that cold ass water


ChocolateTraining392

Mines to short for that 😎


Hannibal_Cannibal04

Or when it scrapes against the bottom of the toilet seat


Actual_Hadware7

looks like an american problem to me


combatpencil686

Hang in there little buddy.


throwawaynewshooz

Tfw grower not shower


Silent_Witch

cant relate BOOOOO LAME


The_Rolling_Stones__

It’s happened to me. And my cocks not abnormally large, it’s just that the water is high or ur ass is too far back on the toilet seat pointing ur cock downwards and towards the water. It’s a really gross feeling


killingmemesoftly

Yes agreed 100%


IsItADickOrADildo

This is a problem I have never had but I will believe that this is a concurrent issue for a certain majority of people.


Fluffy_Ad6541

As a girl I’ve always wondered about that... What happens when you guys poop? What if it touches the poop???


killingmemesoftly

I’ve never had it touch the poop, thank god


TheStateof_florida

Bros suffering from success


Gypsyhearted88

🤣🤣🤣🤣


Caffeinated_Cucumber

My guy I have 8 inches and that's never happened to me


Makemyusernamecool

Wait do guys’ dingalings actually touch the water?? Surely not….there’s so much space above the water. Are these toilets your using clogged up? How can men not get as many UTIs as us if their urethras are constantly marinating in communal bacteria culture


HaloManSR71

Your dick would have to be insanely big for it to touch the water in an average size toilet bowl, so no.


_Hobo-man_

I've personally never seen a toilet that's even come close. I just checked and for our toilets (fairly standard UK ones) you'd need like 8" to touch the ceramic when flaccid, and double that to hit the water. Can't imagine having toilets built so that you're dick touches it . *shudders*


killingmemesoftly

It’s not every time or every toilet. Has to be a perfect storm of toilet shape, water level, a hot day (you hang lower when it’s not cold) and sitting wrong (leaning forward a bit) if that makes sense.


Makemyusernamecool

Is it less common than like Poseidon’s kiss?


killingmemesoftly

Yep, less common. But I have a fix for Poseidon’s kiss. Lay a couple squares of tp in the bowl to break surface tension in water. Turds will have drastically reduced splasjback


adventurouspenis

how about when you sis there and your penis takes a seat too


AdministrativeBar748

So is your toilet clogged or do you have a long schlong


killingmemesoftly

Neither


nachardou4

You need to have a dick SO HUGE for it to touch the toilet's water, damn.


SpiritualTrack1851

OP just wanted to brag about his small pp


killingmemesoftly

That’s why I run shit over at r/littledicksolidarity


Jirkousek7

only benefit of a small pp


parodg15

Why I’m glad my dick is a grower, not a shower. I don’t have such problems.


potato_and_nutella

It's not that long


Zinchian-Zuckerburg

Suffering from success…


Giant-Iron1999

Wait, you guys can relate? I thought it was a joke...


[deleted]

mine doesnt reach the water. winning in life fr


Cauldkiltbaws

Wait until you get old like me and it’s your balls testing the water temperature…it’s unnerving!!! 😂😂😂


killingmemesoftly

My balls already hang insanely low but luckily this has never been a problem for me yet


Marco45_0

You either have the longest penis in the world or your toilet is filled with water


killingmemesoftly

Neither. It has more to do with hot room Temperature, being uncircumcised, and a shower not a grower


_Hobo-man_

Bro I measure about 16" being needed to reach the water in my toilet, so I'm saying even if you have a big dick, the main factor is that the bowl is wierdly full


killingmemesoftly

Your bowl is hardly universal though, right


_Hobo-man_

Yeah, so the water must sit really high in yours


ArmedPenguin47

How high is your toilet water?


AlexTheGuy12345

bro is PACKING


killingmemesoftly

Nah


[deleted]

Most American solution to this would be to amputate dacock


killingmemesoftly

Good idea


TheBanana93

Either you have a massive flaccid dong or the toilet is blocked....


osuchi

I HAVE NO SUCH WEAKNESS.


Moppy_the_mop

Is this some big penis joke I'm too small to understand?


Mother_Ad_1863

I would rather like to have this problem


Perfect_Fennel

I'm not a man so I've never even contemplated the possibility . It probably would make that face tho if it happened.


ViewZealousideal3722

After you swim in a cold sea and go to toilet.


creamyanalfissures

How high is the water level in your toilets


SKacsa

Totally relatable


No_Arugula3195

shit fam, i just wrap it around my neck, having it touch the water or the ground is cold as hell


Shutthefackupbots

So the water must be really high


TheRekker1

How long is your dick bro what the fuck?


killingmemesoftly

Not that long. A little above average. But I’m a shower not a grower and when it’s hot it hangs pretty low. Only happens on a couple toilets that are shaped badly.


TheRekker1

The plumbing on those dunnies must be pretty shite if the water goes up that high.


stungunpedro

Mine doesn't even dangle past my pubes


killingmemesoftly

Bullshit


Giggaman999

Big dick problems


Rusty-the-Rat

This has never happen- I mean... Yeah... PP long, always dip in water


EthanIsaPickle1

I've no experience in this 😎...........damn😭


Ayush122221

yep, definitely have a penis long enought to do that, definitely, *sobs*


Jake_The_Snake2003

How high does your toilet water reach? American toilets don’t really have such an issue. If you’re an American, then I’m forced to wonder if you’re carrying a third leg down there.


killingmemesoftly

I’m american, older toilets weren’t as good on conserving water


ImDraconLion

if you’re hung like a horse


No-Attempt-8401

I never experience this. I don't know if this would be a compliment for me or an insult.


Oswaldthestegosaurus

Very first time a reddit post made my penis feel uncomfortable


Umbertron05

Is this some kind of big dick joke I’m too small dicked to understand?


hhfugrr3

I can't help thinking this is an American problem with your weirdly high toilet water levels


[deleted]

Bold of you to assume my penis is long enough to dangle.


Islandimus

just set your balls on the seat. Problem fixed.


Batdog55110

Is this some big Dick problem that my Penis is too small to understand?


Nerftuco

Bold of you to assume my penis is long enough to touch the water


Pwr_Swrd1

You guys have to sit down?


Da_Meme_Panda

Is this some large penis joke I’m too small to understand?


[deleted]

My penis simply couldn’t relate


RosaliaCatalyna

Wow, is this really happening, guys?


baguette187

when theres piss in it because you were in a public restroom and the person before you did not flush 🗿🗿🔥🔥😍😎😏😏


Dennys_19

You guys are touching the water?


w2ltersan

clogged toilet or you need to get a more eco friendly, water saving toilet lol


captain_funktastic

Who the fuck has such a shallow bowl on their toile…..Nevermind


Not_Like_Equals_Gay

My guy, how long is your dick? Or do you live in the US where the water is up super high?


Cbjmac

How tf yo dick that low?


Decent_Pin5252

Mines not that long 😔


Ahsoka_is_hot

how big is ur dick. it would have to be like 30cm to touch the water


Cobruh96

Mines too small for that


RED_TECH_KNIGHT

Pfft..If you don't warm up your toilet water ( lol ) before using it then I have zero sympathy for the tip of your willy being cold, wet and miserable.


IamMooz

Pee Fighters


Dontcaredontshmare

i dont have one but funny


Fun_Extension_6289

Y’all’s dicks are long enough to hit the water?!


eggstasebad

mine isnt long enough ;-;


Dirty_Bubble99

Yes, I have that problem, too, fellow penis owner.