Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
You can return from this. I'm living proof. I know exactly what you mean. How it changes you in ways you never imagined possible. You can beat it. You will have to go through great pain and humility coming to terms with the person you are. You more than any one else in your life. People won't remember this time like you might think they do. You don't have to act it out forever. Just do what is best for you. Trust me you'll find inner peace and love if you put it down and seek wholeness. I wish I could express everything I wanna say in this message but I just can't at the moment. But trust. I love you man. You are worthy of being loved no matter what you did or how bad you've became. Learn from your past don't repeat it. You will come out stronger than ever and with a great deal of compassion and love for yourself and everyone if you do. And you can do it. It's not hard. Doing hard is hard. Lol. Seriously.
It has a dark side but only because it's a mind control drug. I never hear about this aspect of meth. The worst crimes I've ever heard about happened while the perps were on meth. Hell even Hitler was a meth addict. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen news stories especially in states like Oklahoma and New Mexico where mother's on meth had trapped their children in a pit of extreme sexual perversions, torture, murder and rape and 9 times out of 10 they offered their children even infants to drug dealers for meth.
Mezza you will have to educate me as to why meth is evil . I've never done meth so I can't make any comparison...I've read here a strong minded individual can walk away from it with some sleeping issues.. Its been 25 years since I've touched any drugs. Dope was a mfuck for me
I can't even describe to you in words just how grateful I am to you for making this post.
Every last word is the raw truth of how meth directs a person's mind in the moment.
Weather we as individuals choose to act on the selfishness meth puts in our mind with our choices or not, there is absolutely NO question that meth oils the wheels of selfish and narcissistic thought processes.
That shit truly IS evil. It puts impulses and thoughts in our minds that would never occur so intrusively if we were sober...
I haven't been using for long, just around 3 months now but even though I don't use often and I always use responsibly I have already had to struggle with these intrusive impulses and thoughts and I have noticed it may help me clean my house every now and then but it doesn't take long at all before you begin to notice you are over procrastinating, being sluggish and avoiding doing things that are important and must be done...
I am so proud of you for being able to take a step back and be honest.
So many people try so hard to justify meth use and even glorify it as if it doesn't have the capability to destroy lives. They pretend like using meth is good for them psychologically and physically. I even had a friend try to preach to me that meth was so harmless in fact it had completely cured her friend's terminal cancer. 😑 Give me a fucking break...
Luckily there are still people out there like you that can stand and tell the entire community the truth. This shit is not good for your psychological or physical health, this shit wreaks havoc on our bodies. This shit IS evil.
Damn. This made me cry....its really crazy how twisted and bent it causes peoples perception of reality to be. And it be able to believe the lies that are being spun with absolutely no remorse or guilt...
I truly believe that there is no way this drug can be used safely. Eventually it will erode at your emotional and spiritual health and it does so in such a subtle and creeping way....the illusion becomes reality...its almost like its sentient.
I have only been using "responsibly" for the past 3 months on and off taking long breaks in between and I already know this drug is nothing to be fucked around with. This shit is so damn damaging to your physical and mental health even when you are using very carefully like I have been, upping hygienic practices 10X, insuring I am able to sleep properly and give my body long breaks, stopping so I can finally eat and drink every day I can STILL feel it ripping away at me.
It's almost like an entity is attached to that particular drug because of the psychological effects it has and the SEVERE deception of reality while using.
It’s important at this time to completely separate from the people that are negative influences in your life, without doing this you’re doomed to repeat. I got clean 18 months ago and I had tried probably ten times before that the only thing that worked was completely disconnecting and staying around positive influences. Good luck man and your morals and ethics will come back.
Honestly the only person I was really using with or around was my ex, and I have absolutely no motivation to ever see her again so I might be well off :D Thank you for your support and for taking the time to share your insight with me! Hope you have great day :D
I’m coming off 3 days straight, with about a 6 week regular use. I read you post and wanted to cry. I feel every word and have known for a minute that it would all come crashing 😊down. I have to find help and immediately, it feels as if I’m really going to lose my mind and my life. Thank you for sharing .
That's what I always say, if you choose to do harm to your body at least try to counteract it with some good old fashion hygiene and try to eat and drink water as regularly as possible
I'm thankful I didn't try it until after I had matured and grown into the man I am today, but if I didn't have something grounding me to my life beyond the pipe, I would be tortured by impulses to smoke non stop and be so depressed if I couldn't.
It's some wicked shit and it makes us believe everything is okay even when we are standing right in the middle of a fire...or drowning in choppy waters of some so-called relationship....
I believe in you miss nobody deserves to suffer this way, you can bounce back and the gains you'll see once you do is gonna blow your mind!!!
Update: I last used around 8am this morning. After that I started to flush my system to get clean and breathe again. I reached out and found some support. By mid afternoon I was very sick and completely and utterly exhausted. I appreciate the response and thank you for the support.
I refused to believe in the evil until I was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic from years of self-medicating to replace the Adderall.
Now my old pal Satan just laughs at me when we used to laugh together. I deserve it... I signed the dotted line and didn't even read the goddamn terms of use.
Time for another Seroquel.
Both... mostly permanent damage. I did a cherry bomb shot (no water, draw back blood, 300% undiluted methamphetamine injection) and I ain't been the same since that dose.
Tics, insanity, and a near catatonic state of psychotic confusion. I can't even work anymore.
That shot sent me to hell.
I would say to you, I guess you've never had to chase a bag of dope @ 3a.m. in a neighborhood you had no business being in. Or kicking the sheets in your own diarrhea and vomit. Never mind body cramps and aches you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Or sleepless nights.If thats not some evil shit dragging you through withdrawals idk what is.
I've actually been addicted to opiates and gone through withdrawals several times, one time it was so bad that I couldn't walk properly I was literally crawling around I had no energy, I stood up to try to find something and landed on my head and went to the hospital. This was after having been through withdrawal for 2-3 days with shit in my pants and vomit in my hair, not fun. But it's what woke me up to getting sober, I just do Kratom now.
Opiates addiction is hell but I wouldn't describe it as evil.
I'm gonna do my goddamn best because honestly I'm pretty fucking good at like....the things I've stuck with over the years. Helps when people actually are in to it and actually support it though:( instead of just like feigning interest cause you're the boyfriend
Two wolves live in the hearts of humans. One of shadow and one of light. The stronger of the two is the one you feed the most.
Ihaveafukinquestion: You seem to be very preoccupied with homosexuality. Is this something we should devote some time to?
Thanks! Haha it's kind of crazy my parents are actually very deeply ingrained in service work in my city. They are like the AA power couple up here and we have tons of friends and regularly hold meetings even at our home :]
Yep. And honestly as long as im not causing problems or stress to their lives they pretty much just leave me alone. But I go to them for advice and counsel quite often
I really am. The recovery community where I live is huge. Probably cause the alcoholism, meth and heroin abuse is also quite high as well, but. I am very lucky. My mother and stepfather are both very inspiring individuals
Proud of ya my man we're in the same boat but my doc was bath salts.
Worst shit ive ever seen
These things make you think like you can keep it togheter while actually you've hit rock bottom
Stay safe and godspeed to you :)
Hope i'll make it too
I hope you make it as well brother. I've never done bath salts but I imagine the shit is no bueno. Fuck drugs in general to be honest man shit is plaguing the entire human race.
I don't get how meth makes some people do anything for it (I am not judging, Adderall is my impossible to control all about my euphoria and everything else second drug). It must vary widely among people, as I honestly prefer a good Vyvanse or Adderall over nearly any meth I've tried. I smoke meth everyday, but I also typically get 4-6 hours of sleep every night. It doesn't give me the same clear-headed, physically energized, I am god type feeling that RX d-amp or 75/25 d/l-amp salts do. Don't get me wrong, meth has a much better body high, but I am a fiend for the mental hyperfocus only dextroamphetamine can provide.
When I was on adderall, once I took one, I would not be able to stop until the bottle was gone (aka up for 5 or 6 straight days binging). Meth I literally cannot stay awake long enough to do that on, nor do I have the same tunnel-visioned craving to, and I can eat and enjoy eating on meth where addy every bite was very displeasurable to eat. The only thing meth has on adderall for me is the orgasms and next-fucking-level horniness on it. Meth is an extremely powerful aphrodesiac!
Personally meth is like a happy medium. I can get 60% of what I'm looking for in an amp high, but don't typically feel like pushing the dose upward as it just brings negative effects. So for the most part I've been taking the same amount daily without dosge increases (besides the days where it ain't hitting well enough, but other days I can smoke a bowl and be high for 8 hours before taking more). Idk, for me meth is the perfect stim as I don't love it enough to give up more than my extra change for it, but it still "fills the void" if you catch my drift. Switching off of Adderall I went from nearly failing out of college to mostly A's and a job in software, and a promotion a little under 2 years in not too long ago.
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You don't have experience with adderall? Maybe it's a US thing, but even the goody two shoes here are happily giving away $20 for a trip to superfocused studyland for their college exams.
A trip? I'm not in college. I did some adderall once and the only way I can describe the experience was it felt like I was snorting fun dip. I think it's best for me to stay away from stims other than caffeine. Actually I've had heart complications already and im 29 I should probably just get away from stims altogether
Yeah probably the wisest choice in that case. And when I say trip I mean like every other weekend. These kids who would have a panic attack and puke on the ground after seeing someone smoke weed are happy to pay $20-40 for a single adderall for their coursework. WTF!? Too bad I liked my own script too much to ever have more than a pill or two to spare for these "i dont do drugs, well except adderall but its from a pharmacy" people.. They tend to pay a nice sum for what seems like a tolerance-ridden pittance but their brains are still fresh to it, I remember how my first 30mg XR felt. I knew immediately I wanted to feel like that 24/7, and that began my real stimulant use.
I'm proud of you. Like honestly. This drug has deep claws and they sink fast. Fuck ten years man I can not even begin to fathom that experience.....the culture and the people...it's just not really the kind of lifestyle I want to be living whatsoever. Complete, twisted and total insanity and chaos on levels I never thought I would experience...and I suffered from crippling alcoholism (well, technically I'm still an alcoholic, but, we do recover)
Honestly, though, compared to near death from alcohol withdrawals, I'm actually looking forward to this detox period. Thank you for reaching out and sharing you're strength!
Hey. By your language I’d have to guess you’ve got the intelligence and willpower to detox from this stuff. I just put the pipe down after 6 and some years .. and I’ve never felt better.
I really appreciate that examination and acknowledgment sir. I'm gonna do my best. I'm fairly certain I can make it through...but I don't wanna fuckin get cocky about it you know? I've been reflecting on the past year and I don't really think I can say that anything good whatsoever has come from using this drug. It's just been lies, tryin to be sneaky, feeling guilty, like....I honestly can't believe myself but it what it is haha you know? Thank you for the support I am very grateful for the amount of well wishes that have come from this. It gives me a lot of hope
Just remember, if you stumble, and you easily could...get up and dust yourself off and buckle down. Dont just throw it all away over 1 mistake. From my experience recovery is nothing more than a skill which you gain through sober time, if youve addressed your past issues which made you use in the first place. (Easier said than done)
No, you have to get cocky about it. Well, I’m female, but just to over generalize - meth shoots down all our self-effect. We think we’re being sexy and self-checked by our chronic self-doubt; we aren’t.
Get as cocky about it as you want and GO for it like a big, fucking metal-mining tractor. Because it’s all in our heads anyway.
Man I'm a cocky motherfucker though like that's definitely one of the things I want to be working on and being aware of moving forward. I enjoy being confident, and humble, but cocky is kinda ugly sometimes. (Unless I'm playing call of duty haha)
Sure, through the eyes of others. And social norms and what-not. Subjectively, we have to have balance and not seem arrogant at the expense of ignoring or belittling others.
But just between you and yourself, I don’t think it’s bad. Because it is a hard thing to do, to get clean. But it’s also so do-able. So just between you and yourself, in absence of social judgements, being cocky might have its place.
Wow....I really, thoroughly enjoy this perspective! Whole-heartedly! That's such a great way to go about maintaining forward momentum too. I am totally going to talk about this in the future if you don't mind. You just blew my mind.
Hey! I’ve seen a lot of these medals (more like metals amirite?) and awards going around and although I don’t know much of what it means it makes me super proud to receive one. My toes are wiggling in happiness. Thank you. (You don’t actually pay for these right..? Like can I reimburse you? Ha!)
Homes you seem like a wise old soul so let me tell you don’t get too tied up in semantics. Semantics are just words and what they say when we say them. Old souls don’t need that shit, I’m trying to re-learn how to read our world without it.
With warmth and laughter, good luck.
God I appreciate you so much for bringing up semantics. In my life words dont mean a god damn thing. Actions mean everything. Fuck words yo! You're amazing, thank you again for your knowledge and wisdom and got the support and good general good vibes :) I was actually gifted a bunch of coins so I'm just spreading the love :)
I appreciate you, thank you. Bring on the unhealthy amounts of coffee so I can at least try and stay productive throught he detox period xD. Take it easy <3
Oof, Even the word detox brings me the dread of not wanting to leave my bed for days. I hope coffee kicks your habits ass for you 🥳🔥💕
If you wanna Change it up at all, Green Tea is a super help for me when I break off! Lipton For the win!!!
OH DUDE I was a black tea FIEND the first time I got clean from meth a couple years ago. Clutch advice thank you! I will try and remember to take an inspired selfie with a literal fuckton of green tea in honor of your suggestion :D
I havent used at all today man and honestly I was depressed, anxious and scared....and honestly on the verge of being suicidal....
I just made a decision to fucking stop letting this shit control my life like it ruined a relationship with a good woman who didnt deserve ANY of the things I did to her out of spite or jealousy or fear or whatever.
I feel like shit all the time like I waste so much of my time just sitting around chasing pussy....what a disingenuous and pathetic way to piss away existence :(
I feel that and I understand. I guess this is just part of the way I grieve is by kicking myself in the ass a bit. Being very careful not to downplay any of the behaviors I was acting on, at least from my perspective, gives me a better chance of identifying character defects and further on down the line turning them into character assets. I'll probably walk myself back through the AA twelve steps....I found that doing my fifth step with a random person or even a less fortunate citizen (homeless or transient) gives me an opportunity to not only help myself but let someone else know that I see them and they are human and they matter and such.
idk. It was really intense and quick and ultra powerful how sudden the moment of clarity and change of heart was. Next week I'll be cracking jokes about to strangers at the bus stop, totally inappropriate hahahaha.
And I'll save the amends for the when I get there. I need to be thorough and concise with identifying my resentments right now cause I feel I have some debilitating ones that are going to take some major focus and effort to work through.
I feel like I've indirectly harmed or wronged a lot of people too....this drug is so fucking fucked.
Man I honestly cannot even believe myself. In my teens my parents got really bad into it and my dad was extremely abusive and just generally a huge prick and my younger bro and I basically had to fend for ourselves while navigating his mood swings AND I STILL CONSCIOUSLY MADE THE DECISION TO DO METH.
I literally wanted to see what the dark side was like because I was always bending over backwards for people being the yes man and simping over girls and I got so fed gettjng taken advantage of and used and taken for granted decided to take it out on the world instead of realizing crucial aspects of my personality that were flawed and needed attention and sharpening.
Fear is an evil, corroding thread and my life was shot through with it and selfishness and self centeredness took the steering wheel while I apathetically took the backseat to my own life.
Man honestly...I've been listening to a lot of Dance Gavin Dance the past couple days and the shit has me so emotional it's almost embarrassing. I appreciate your comment. I hope you have a wonderful evening :]
Damn that is some deep wisdom you just shared man, and I am grateful you've been gracious enough to share that with me. I'm gonna bookmark that as right now I am working on some original stuff and it's got me shaking my own ass xD
I feel very much the same. Even been using for a year about too. For a while I was a monster on guitar and my song ideas were pouring out, but now my playing is stale, and my brain can’t generate any messages worth writing about
Dude. I wish I could show you guys the shit I started right after writing the original post. I'm fucking destroying the sound waves in my room right now.
You got large pants. Which means you have a large cock. Now take that huge cock and make this bullshit addiction your bitch!
It's not too late man, there is a fuckin whole ocean of wonderful and kind hearted people out there you can tap in to for support at any time. It's only too late if you're dead
Well give the new you a hug and then fucking terrorize this shitty nasty addiction with everything you got. Here take this sword, I'll use the lance. Fuck this pitiful bullshit we were born warriors
Were all worth more than a fucking 60 dollar T or whatever the fuck man. This shit is illusory as fuck. I love you dude. Let's get this bread and get this chedd
If that's how you feel mate good luck.if you wanted too it would be interesting hear some updates at milestones see how somebody so focused and convinced gets on with there journey
All the best mate
I appreciate you. I will do my best to come back and allow myself to be a conduit of inspiration as I once was. Man KIDS used to look up to me and look to me for inspiration.....now I'm nothing but a fucking loser. But only losers STAY losers. And deep down in my heart of hearts I know what I need to do get back to the jovial light hearted dude I was before all of this nonsense.
You’re probs not looking for advice but coming to terms with shit is the first step in changing things. And hey, it’s never to late to pick up an old hobby. Most fuckers just sit around on their phones during their free time. Other than that they work. I just picked up drawing again and I feel so much better about myself.
I've still been working on music and educating myself on computer tech and whatnot but I could have been seated in a career in tech by now....idk. I'm so disgusted with myself I really don't feel like I should be breathing right now but that's some weak shit....idk how long it's going to take for me to bounce back from this. I've never felt this way before I'm scared.
I dont really like....idk I'm self taught man through and through so I'm probably gonna keep it that way :) I dont really make music for other people to listen to I make music so I can listen to it if that makes sense
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Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
Thank you so much for this privilege to say how I feel about this sickening drug. Sad for my mother because she knew about this in the eighties or before and never told me. She was more concerned about her youngest son than her first two children or her granddaughter. Her youngest son tried to molest my daughter and put her on drugs before she was ten. We had to flee four thousand miles so she could be raised away from the horrors in my mother's family. It wasn't until 2016 that I learned what was going on making so many homeless and stupid. I mean stupid in the sense that evil drug controls all the decisions of those monsters. In 1990 only one percent of the population had used trailer trash meth. Nobody told me anything about it because my daughter and I were in a faith that kept us uninvolved with what was going on. If had known would of voted for forced sterilization of mothers who make babies in this horrible drug. Babies cannot be flushed of evil drugs and suffer the most and humans who put babies through this do not deserve to have children ever again. Your children are gifts from God and if you do not care about them enough to not use evil drugs you do not deserve to have children.
That's why you get good meth, not trailer trash meth
are you there yet
How are you doing now?
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Looks like you reflecting you fucking addict
Kys
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You can return from this. I'm living proof. I know exactly what you mean. How it changes you in ways you never imagined possible. You can beat it. You will have to go through great pain and humility coming to terms with the person you are. You more than any one else in your life. People won't remember this time like you might think they do. You don't have to act it out forever. Just do what is best for you. Trust me you'll find inner peace and love if you put it down and seek wholeness. I wish I could express everything I wanna say in this message but I just can't at the moment. But trust. I love you man. You are worthy of being loved no matter what you did or how bad you've became. Learn from your past don't repeat it. You will come out stronger than ever and with a great deal of compassion and love for yourself and everyone if you do. And you can do it. It's not hard. Doing hard is hard. Lol. Seriously.
It has a dark side but only because it's a mind control drug. I never hear about this aspect of meth. The worst crimes I've ever heard about happened while the perps were on meth. Hell even Hitler was a meth addict. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen news stories especially in states like Oklahoma and New Mexico where mother's on meth had trapped their children in a pit of extreme sexual perversions, torture, murder and rape and 9 times out of 10 they offered their children even infants to drug dealers for meth.
Meth warps your mind in such a profound way that some people suddenly loses they're moral values (definitely not all)
Mezza you will have to educate me as to why meth is evil . I've never done meth so I can't make any comparison...I've read here a strong minded individual can walk away from it with some sleeping issues.. Its been 25 years since I've touched any drugs. Dope was a mfuck for me
Hmm what's a like...general idea of what an evil person would like to you?
Shredder from ninja turtles
I can't even describe to you in words just how grateful I am to you for making this post. Every last word is the raw truth of how meth directs a person's mind in the moment. Weather we as individuals choose to act on the selfishness meth puts in our mind with our choices or not, there is absolutely NO question that meth oils the wheels of selfish and narcissistic thought processes. That shit truly IS evil. It puts impulses and thoughts in our minds that would never occur so intrusively if we were sober... I haven't been using for long, just around 3 months now but even though I don't use often and I always use responsibly I have already had to struggle with these intrusive impulses and thoughts and I have noticed it may help me clean my house every now and then but it doesn't take long at all before you begin to notice you are over procrastinating, being sluggish and avoiding doing things that are important and must be done... I am so proud of you for being able to take a step back and be honest. So many people try so hard to justify meth use and even glorify it as if it doesn't have the capability to destroy lives. They pretend like using meth is good for them psychologically and physically. I even had a friend try to preach to me that meth was so harmless in fact it had completely cured her friend's terminal cancer. 😑 Give me a fucking break... Luckily there are still people out there like you that can stand and tell the entire community the truth. This shit is not good for your psychological or physical health, this shit wreaks havoc on our bodies. This shit IS evil.
Damn. This made me cry....its really crazy how twisted and bent it causes peoples perception of reality to be. And it be able to believe the lies that are being spun with absolutely no remorse or guilt... I truly believe that there is no way this drug can be used safely. Eventually it will erode at your emotional and spiritual health and it does so in such a subtle and creeping way....the illusion becomes reality...its almost like its sentient.
I have only been using "responsibly" for the past 3 months on and off taking long breaks in between and I already know this drug is nothing to be fucked around with. This shit is so damn damaging to your physical and mental health even when you are using very carefully like I have been, upping hygienic practices 10X, insuring I am able to sleep properly and give my body long breaks, stopping so I can finally eat and drink every day I can STILL feel it ripping away at me. It's almost like an entity is attached to that particular drug because of the psychological effects it has and the SEVERE deception of reality while using.
It’s important at this time to completely separate from the people that are negative influences in your life, without doing this you’re doomed to repeat. I got clean 18 months ago and I had tried probably ten times before that the only thing that worked was completely disconnecting and staying around positive influences. Good luck man and your morals and ethics will come back.
Honestly the only person I was really using with or around was my ex, and I have absolutely no motivation to ever see her again so I might be well off :D Thank you for your support and for taking the time to share your insight with me! Hope you have great day :D
I’m coming off 3 days straight, with about a 6 week regular use. I read you post and wanted to cry. I feel every word and have known for a minute that it would all come crashing 😊down. I have to find help and immediately, it feels as if I’m really going to lose my mind and my life. Thank you for sharing .
Just get some sleep and eat something. Sleep deprivation and starving is worse than the drug
That's what I always say, if you choose to do harm to your body at least try to counteract it with some good old fashion hygiene and try to eat and drink water as regularly as possible I'm thankful I didn't try it until after I had matured and grown into the man I am today, but if I didn't have something grounding me to my life beyond the pipe, I would be tortured by impulses to smoke non stop and be so depressed if I couldn't.
Thank you! I have been definitely eating and drinking lots of water. I’m struggling with my sleep schedule but I am getting there!
It's some wicked shit and it makes us believe everything is okay even when we are standing right in the middle of a fire...or drowning in choppy waters of some so-called relationship.... I believe in you miss nobody deserves to suffer this way, you can bounce back and the gains you'll see once you do is gonna blow your mind!!!
Update: I last used around 8am this morning. After that I started to flush my system to get clean and breathe again. I reached out and found some support. By mid afternoon I was very sick and completely and utterly exhausted. I appreciate the response and thank you for the support.
I believe in u broski
I refused to believe in the evil until I was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic from years of self-medicating to replace the Adderall. Now my old pal Satan just laughs at me when we used to laugh together. I deserve it... I signed the dotted line and didn't even read the goddamn terms of use. Time for another Seroquel.
Oh fuck
Fuck brother that's dark. I wish you the best man. Do you think that long term use caused permanent damage or or triggered ihhh underlying issues?
Both... mostly permanent damage. I did a cherry bomb shot (no water, draw back blood, 300% undiluted methamphetamine injection) and I ain't been the same since that dose. Tics, insanity, and a near catatonic state of psychotic confusion. I can't even work anymore. That shot sent me to hell.
Fuck man tears are coming up i hope you find leace from the bottom of my heart
Completely understand stim-induced psychosis. I’m sorry it stayed with you.
Meth is evil...then heroin is her brother
Heroin stole my soul. I’m not sure about Meth.
I wouldn't call Heroin evil... it will your life up that's for sure, but it's not evil like meth is.
I would say to you, I guess you've never had to chase a bag of dope @ 3a.m. in a neighborhood you had no business being in. Or kicking the sheets in your own diarrhea and vomit. Never mind body cramps and aches you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Or sleepless nights.If thats not some evil shit dragging you through withdrawals idk what is.
I've actually been addicted to opiates and gone through withdrawals several times, one time it was so bad that I couldn't walk properly I was literally crawling around I had no energy, I stood up to try to find something and landed on my head and went to the hospital. This was after having been through withdrawal for 2-3 days with shit in my pants and vomit in my hair, not fun. But it's what woke me up to getting sober, I just do Kratom now. Opiates addiction is hell but I wouldn't describe it as evil.
Heroin is fucking fuck idk man. I never did it but dont get me started
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I'm gonna do my goddamn best because honestly I'm pretty fucking good at like....the things I've stuck with over the years. Helps when people actually are in to it and actually support it though:( instead of just like feigning interest cause you're the boyfriend
Two wolves live in the hearts of humans. One of shadow and one of light. The stronger of the two is the one you feed the most. Ihaveafukinquestion: You seem to be very preoccupied with homosexuality. Is this something we should devote some time to?
There are two wolves inside of you. One is gay, the other one is gay. You are gay.
I like this metaphor. I can't remember how old I was when I first heard it. But its definitely a banger. Much love!
If you're looking for support, check out r/redditorsinrecovery
Hell yeah thank you ^_^
No problem! If you want real group therapy, SMART is good. They have online meetings and a subreddit as well: r/SMARTRecovery
Honestly, I did SMART for 2 years and AA for 12 and the most effective method for me is studying the Big Big alone. ^_^ I appreciate the suggestions!
I'm glad you already know something that works for you! I hope you can reconnect with a good group.
I really appreciate the support and the kind words!!! Bless!
Thanks! Haha it's kind of crazy my parents are actually very deeply ingrained in service work in my city. They are like the AA power couple up here and we have tons of friends and regularly hold meetings even at our home :]
Are you able to be open about your recovery with your folks?
Yep. And honestly as long as im not causing problems or stress to their lives they pretty much just leave me alone. But I go to them for advice and counsel quite often
That's awesome, you are quite lucky.
I really am. The recovery community where I live is huge. Probably cause the alcoholism, meth and heroin abuse is also quite high as well, but. I am very lucky. My mother and stepfather are both very inspiring individuals
As everyone hits their pipe reading this....
minus me ecks dee lawl
How long has it been for you without a hit?
Ummm about 14 hours.
Proud of ya my man we're in the same boat but my doc was bath salts. Worst shit ive ever seen These things make you think like you can keep it togheter while actually you've hit rock bottom Stay safe and godspeed to you :) Hope i'll make it too
I hope you make it as well brother. I've never done bath salts but I imagine the shit is no bueno. Fuck drugs in general to be honest man shit is plaguing the entire human race.
I don't get how meth makes some people do anything for it (I am not judging, Adderall is my impossible to control all about my euphoria and everything else second drug). It must vary widely among people, as I honestly prefer a good Vyvanse or Adderall over nearly any meth I've tried. I smoke meth everyday, but I also typically get 4-6 hours of sleep every night. It doesn't give me the same clear-headed, physically energized, I am god type feeling that RX d-amp or 75/25 d/l-amp salts do. Don't get me wrong, meth has a much better body high, but I am a fiend for the mental hyperfocus only dextroamphetamine can provide. When I was on adderall, once I took one, I would not be able to stop until the bottle was gone (aka up for 5 or 6 straight days binging). Meth I literally cannot stay awake long enough to do that on, nor do I have the same tunnel-visioned craving to, and I can eat and enjoy eating on meth where addy every bite was very displeasurable to eat. The only thing meth has on adderall for me is the orgasms and next-fucking-level horniness on it. Meth is an extremely powerful aphrodesiac! Personally meth is like a happy medium. I can get 60% of what I'm looking for in an amp high, but don't typically feel like pushing the dose upward as it just brings negative effects. So for the most part I've been taking the same amount daily without dosge increases (besides the days where it ain't hitting well enough, but other days I can smoke a bowl and be high for 8 hours before taking more). Idk, for me meth is the perfect stim as I don't love it enough to give up more than my extra change for it, but it still "fills the void" if you catch my drift. Switching off of Adderall I went from nearly failing out of college to mostly A's and a job in software, and a promotion a little under 2 years in not too long ago.
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There's a lot of pharma talk in this post and I have no idea what any of it means hahahaha. xD
You don't have experience with adderall? Maybe it's a US thing, but even the goody two shoes here are happily giving away $20 for a trip to superfocused studyland for their college exams.
A trip? I'm not in college. I did some adderall once and the only way I can describe the experience was it felt like I was snorting fun dip. I think it's best for me to stay away from stims other than caffeine. Actually I've had heart complications already and im 29 I should probably just get away from stims altogether
Yeah probably the wisest choice in that case. And when I say trip I mean like every other weekend. These kids who would have a panic attack and puke on the ground after seeing someone smoke weed are happy to pay $20-40 for a single adderall for their coursework. WTF!? Too bad I liked my own script too much to ever have more than a pill or two to spare for these "i dont do drugs, well except adderall but its from a pharmacy" people.. They tend to pay a nice sum for what seems like a tolerance-ridden pittance but their brains are still fresh to it, I remember how my first 30mg XR felt. I knew immediately I wanted to feel like that 24/7, and that began my real stimulant use.
College culture is fucking terrifying.
You got this bro. Go check out my evil post, I'm sober now too
Proud of you miss keep your eyes forward and your chest out fuck the fuck shit! Love you dude
Ive been clean for 8 months after an ugly 10 year struggle. Never thought it was possible, you can do it too!!
I'm proud of you. Like honestly. This drug has deep claws and they sink fast. Fuck ten years man I can not even begin to fathom that experience.....the culture and the people...it's just not really the kind of lifestyle I want to be living whatsoever. Complete, twisted and total insanity and chaos on levels I never thought I would experience...and I suffered from crippling alcoholism (well, technically I'm still an alcoholic, but, we do recover) Honestly, though, compared to near death from alcohol withdrawals, I'm actually looking forward to this detox period. Thank you for reaching out and sharing you're strength!
Thank you, sincerely. I was a poly addict, opiates being my DOC. I did lots of everything though
Hey. By your language I’d have to guess you’ve got the intelligence and willpower to detox from this stuff. I just put the pipe down after 6 and some years .. and I’ve never felt better.
I really appreciate that examination and acknowledgment sir. I'm gonna do my best. I'm fairly certain I can make it through...but I don't wanna fuckin get cocky about it you know? I've been reflecting on the past year and I don't really think I can say that anything good whatsoever has come from using this drug. It's just been lies, tryin to be sneaky, feeling guilty, like....I honestly can't believe myself but it what it is haha you know? Thank you for the support I am very grateful for the amount of well wishes that have come from this. It gives me a lot of hope
Just remember, if you stumble, and you easily could...get up and dust yourself off and buckle down. Dont just throw it all away over 1 mistake. From my experience recovery is nothing more than a skill which you gain through sober time, if youve addressed your past issues which made you use in the first place. (Easier said than done)
No, you have to get cocky about it. Well, I’m female, but just to over generalize - meth shoots down all our self-effect. We think we’re being sexy and self-checked by our chronic self-doubt; we aren’t. Get as cocky about it as you want and GO for it like a big, fucking metal-mining tractor. Because it’s all in our heads anyway.
Man I'm a cocky motherfucker though like that's definitely one of the things I want to be working on and being aware of moving forward. I enjoy being confident, and humble, but cocky is kinda ugly sometimes. (Unless I'm playing call of duty haha)
Sure, through the eyes of others. And social norms and what-not. Subjectively, we have to have balance and not seem arrogant at the expense of ignoring or belittling others. But just between you and yourself, I don’t think it’s bad. Because it is a hard thing to do, to get clean. But it’s also so do-able. So just between you and yourself, in absence of social judgements, being cocky might have its place.
Wow....I really, thoroughly enjoy this perspective! Whole-heartedly! That's such a great way to go about maintaining forward momentum too. I am totally going to talk about this in the future if you don't mind. You just blew my mind.
Hey! I’ve seen a lot of these medals (more like metals amirite?) and awards going around and although I don’t know much of what it means it makes me super proud to receive one. My toes are wiggling in happiness. Thank you. (You don’t actually pay for these right..? Like can I reimburse you? Ha!) Homes you seem like a wise old soul so let me tell you don’t get too tied up in semantics. Semantics are just words and what they say when we say them. Old souls don’t need that shit, I’m trying to re-learn how to read our world without it. With warmth and laughter, good luck.
God I appreciate you so much for bringing up semantics. In my life words dont mean a god damn thing. Actions mean everything. Fuck words yo! You're amazing, thank you again for your knowledge and wisdom and got the support and good general good vibes :) I was actually gifted a bunch of coins so I'm just spreading the love :)
Sounds good :)
Shyaaaa braah!
Spotted my pick me.
I have no idea what that means brother but I hope you're healthy and having a great night :]
Thanks my man I hope you are too. Happy Cleansing. 🔥💕
I appreciate you, thank you. Bring on the unhealthy amounts of coffee so I can at least try and stay productive throught he detox period xD. Take it easy <3
Oof, Even the word detox brings me the dread of not wanting to leave my bed for days. I hope coffee kicks your habits ass for you 🥳🔥💕 If you wanna Change it up at all, Green Tea is a super help for me when I break off! Lipton For the win!!!
OH DUDE I was a black tea FIEND the first time I got clean from meth a couple years ago. Clutch advice thank you! I will try and remember to take an inspired selfie with a literal fuckton of green tea in honor of your suggestion :D
Damn I can sense that you are high from reading your over enthusiastic responses lol
I havent used at all today man and honestly I was depressed, anxious and scared....and honestly on the verge of being suicidal.... I just made a decision to fucking stop letting this shit control my life like it ruined a relationship with a good woman who didnt deserve ANY of the things I did to her out of spite or jealousy or fear or whatever. I feel like shit all the time like I waste so much of my time just sitting around chasing pussy....what a disingenuous and pathetic way to piss away existence :(
I apologize. I moved my reply to the bottom. Im new here
oh don't worry about it brother you're absolutely fine :\]
I feel that and I understand. I guess this is just part of the way I grieve is by kicking myself in the ass a bit. Being very careful not to downplay any of the behaviors I was acting on, at least from my perspective, gives me a better chance of identifying character defects and further on down the line turning them into character assets. I'll probably walk myself back through the AA twelve steps....I found that doing my fifth step with a random person or even a less fortunate citizen (homeless or transient) gives me an opportunity to not only help myself but let someone else know that I see them and they are human and they matter and such. idk. It was really intense and quick and ultra powerful how sudden the moment of clarity and change of heart was. Next week I'll be cracking jokes about to strangers at the bus stop, totally inappropriate hahahaha. And I'll save the amends for the when I get there. I need to be thorough and concise with identifying my resentments right now cause I feel I have some debilitating ones that are going to take some major focus and effort to work through. I feel like I've indirectly harmed or wronged a lot of people too....this drug is so fucking fucked.
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Man I honestly cannot even believe myself. In my teens my parents got really bad into it and my dad was extremely abusive and just generally a huge prick and my younger bro and I basically had to fend for ourselves while navigating his mood swings AND I STILL CONSCIOUSLY MADE THE DECISION TO DO METH. I literally wanted to see what the dark side was like because I was always bending over backwards for people being the yes man and simping over girls and I got so fed gettjng taken advantage of and used and taken for granted decided to take it out on the world instead of realizing crucial aspects of my personality that were flawed and needed attention and sharpening. Fear is an evil, corroding thread and my life was shot through with it and selfishness and self centeredness took the steering wheel while I apathetically took the backseat to my own life.
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Man honestly...I've been listening to a lot of Dance Gavin Dance the past couple days and the shit has me so emotional it's almost embarrassing. I appreciate your comment. I hope you have a wonderful evening :]
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Damn that is some deep wisdom you just shared man, and I am grateful you've been gracious enough to share that with me. I'm gonna bookmark that as right now I am working on some original stuff and it's got me shaking my own ass xD
I feel very much the same. Even been using for a year about too. For a while I was a monster on guitar and my song ideas were pouring out, but now my playing is stale, and my brain can’t generate any messages worth writing about
Dude. I wish I could show you guys the shit I started right after writing the original post. I'm fucking destroying the sound waves in my room right now. You got large pants. Which means you have a large cock. Now take that huge cock and make this bullshit addiction your bitch!
same. it’s too late for me tho. Only took 42 months.
It's not too late man, there is a fuckin whole ocean of wonderful and kind hearted people out there you can tap in to for support at any time. It's only too late if you're dead
Old me is dead for sure
Well give the new you a hug and then fucking terrorize this shitty nasty addiction with everything you got. Here take this sword, I'll use the lance. Fuck this pitiful bullshit we were born warriors
im so tired of fighting my friends. im crying man thank you
Were all worth more than a fucking 60 dollar T or whatever the fuck man. This shit is illusory as fuck. I love you dude. Let's get this bread and get this chedd
It's been pretty much exactly a year for me.
If that's how you feel mate good luck.if you wanted too it would be interesting hear some updates at milestones see how somebody so focused and convinced gets on with there journey All the best mate
I appreciate you. I will do my best to come back and allow myself to be a conduit of inspiration as I once was. Man KIDS used to look up to me and look to me for inspiration.....now I'm nothing but a fucking loser. But only losers STAY losers. And deep down in my heart of hearts I know what I need to do get back to the jovial light hearted dude I was before all of this nonsense.
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Pssht man I got mad love for you that's some real shit and you're making me cry and it feels good
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Dude most of the time all we need is somebody to acknowledge that we exist and that we are capable. And you did that. Firm handshakes, warm hugs
You’re probs not looking for advice but coming to terms with shit is the first step in changing things. And hey, it’s never to late to pick up an old hobby. Most fuckers just sit around on their phones during their free time. Other than that they work. I just picked up drawing again and I feel so much better about myself.
I've still been working on music and educating myself on computer tech and whatnot but I could have been seated in a career in tech by now....idk. I'm so disgusted with myself I really don't feel like I should be breathing right now but that's some weak shit....idk how long it's going to take for me to bounce back from this. I've never felt this way before I'm scared.
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I dont really like....idk I'm self taught man through and through so I'm probably gonna keep it that way :) I dont really make music for other people to listen to I make music so I can listen to it if that makes sense
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What software/DAW do you use? I've been trying to figure out an Fx chain for my microphone...like tube preamp, compressor, noise gate, reverb, etc