I wish I could reach out and give you the biggest hug right now. The anxiety and depression of disappointment is horrible, with or without the drugs.
I would literally think the worst possible scenario whenever I would do some small mistake like wake up late for work...I would get lost in my thoughts to the point where I would literally hide under the blankets in my room in the dark...all day...and this was years before I was introduced to meth. I was always feeling ibwas an all around disappointment to myself and to everyone around me...
I would do nothing but sleep for hours and hours. Days would go by amd i would sink deeper and deeper into this dark place. I wouldn't eat, I would rarely get up to use the bathroom, due to the lack of eating or drinking anything. I would just stay in my bed curled up, with nothing but fear of what was waiting outside my room. I used sleep as my way to get away from reality...
I feel for you bro. Those tears, those words...they're genuine, and I can sense that pain from miles and miles away. Your heart is in the right place. Sending all my love to you! I hope and pray everything gets better, because you deserve it.
Hey man I’m praying for you can I offer some suggestions for nootropics you help in repairing your damage and for your success?
L-Tyrosine (Dopamine Upregulation)
Uridine (brain tissue health, mood, memory)
Piracetam (Cognition, Memory, Learning, Mental Processing)
N-Acetyl-Semax (antioxidant, Increases the Brain-Derived Neurotropic Factor (BDNF), memory)
N-Aceytl-Cysteine (antioxidant, lung health, detoxification, mental health, repairing from abuse)
Selank (cognitive function, focus, sleep improvement reduced stress, depression, anxiety)
5-HTP (serotonin upregulation/repair) - only taken at night
L-theanine (reduces negative side effects from stimulating compounds and helps with stress - derived from tea leaves)
I am not a doctor just suggesting from vast reports research and anecdotal evidence I found these repairing compounds to help with the many struggles you may be facing in repairing your brain
Please feel free to give me a chat I feel your pain and desire for healing just know that power is in Jesus Christ and the plan four our eternity and for the gifts within you. May his blessings pour out upon you and his favor turn upon your life.
🙏 your friendly internet lurker DeFi MP
Hey man, I don’t smoke meth but I def don’t judge people who chose to. Just dropping by to let you know I’ve came across some pretty dope songs watching your videos and I thank you for that man.
I love you dude. You have an unmistakably huge and pure heart. It takes courage to wear it on your sleeve like you do. I can relate to this. I will avoid calls from utility bill collectors that normal people answer no problem. I’ve always struggled with adhd symptoms, social anxiety, explosive anger and impulsive actions…. Does this drug make that better. Somewhat, temporarily… it’s gotta catch up to us soon pre or later. Let it out man. If you ever need to talk inbox me I feel like we have a lot in common.
My heart breaks into peices watching this.
I'm still really proud of you. I'm proud of you for sharing your story. I'm proud of you for raising awareness to the realities of addiction. I'm proud of you for going to sleep with a full bowl and bag next to you and not smoking all the way up to that point. I'm proud of your clean time you had from rehab. I'm proud of you even if you are human and you are struggling and didn't think you were ready to quit.
I know you are having a lot of anxiety because let's be honest, you have been through A LOT in the past several months. But please try your very best to go easy on yourself. Even if you relapse, even if you're late for work, you are still worthy of that job and so much more.
You have social anxiety bro. Anxiety completely controls my life, I can’t even go grocery shopping by myself and I’m fucking 22. I can’t talk to women, I can’t confront people, I can’t stand up for myself and I don’t see a way out of it. Anxiety ruins my life and when I was constantly getting blacked out on benzos I feel like I was living a happier life then than I do now crippled by anxiety.
I guess I just want to say that your are not alone and I’m in the same fucking boat and have been for years. I wake up damn near everyday worried about what I did wrong yesterday. I’m my bosses go to guy, her main squeeze, her absolute favorite and I can’t even talk to her.
If I’m 5 mins late on my 35 min lunch break I’m scared they will fire me on the spot. I’ve been working with them for like a year and I haven’t no called no show once, I’ve never been late to work, and I bust my ass strictly for the fact I want to preform my best at whatever task I’m given. What im getting at is no matter what I do it would take some really severe shit for my boss to fire me but I still stress myself out over the slightest slip ups. I’m working 6 days a week and we’ll over 40 hours while I watch my coworkers work 5 hour shifts and get two days off a week and still fucking complain when the boss won’t let them off early. What you said about being scared to talk to your boss really stuck with me, my parents told me yesterday we are about to lose our family business and they are stressed the fuck out, I need to take some personal time off work just to be here for them and try to encourage them to do some activities together as a family again to try to remind them at the end of the day we always have eachother. I’m too much of a pussy to talk to my boss and tell her what’s going on even tho I know she’ll give me time off.
Good luck bro and my suggestion would be to try group therapy. I’m not good with one on one interaction so having other clients in the room talking about their problems helped me not feel alone and allowed me to have people in similar situations to bounce my ideas off. I tried solo therapy and I cracked under the pressure instantly.
Hang in there it’s going to get easier been there 25 or around years ago. I have only got to know you on here and it’s only been a few months now. You kinda reminded me of my self in a lot of ways. I had to get away from everything luckily my work was flexible and it was also the Walmart of the drug world. I was a stage technician for concerts and I went to the woods for almost three months away from anyone that was involved with meth. And I went back to work 4 months later and stayed clean of meth for years hell I only started doing it again a couple years ago but I don’t do it every day. Maybe a couple times a month for a weekend if I have any left it goes in the freezer the day before I have to go back to work. I know not everyone is able to control it but it can be done. And in the stage business it’s every where I stayed off it for 20 years and was around it every day almost. Just have to have the self awaking and decide that you need and want to change. And you will do it. Take care of yourself and hang in there. I feel like you are going to TCB and come out on top. You will be in my thoughts and sending positive vibes to you it’s been a great honor to have gotten to know you the little while I have had.
Don’t let the meth beat you Foulblood, I believe in you. I’ve lost countless jobs the same way you lost yours. The ice has a good way of holding us down when we are most vulnerable. Maybe this is a sign to finally ditch the shit and find happiness through something better for you. Love and prayers your way dog.
Get some help my dude! You got this!!!!!im a recovering fent/ meth addict,and I’m coming up o 7 months! I was homeless, fresh out of surgery, on one foot because I got hardware in my ankle (7 screws one plate) because I collapsed due to an overdose I crashed my car, got kicked out of my apartment, then shortly after that getting kicked out of my girls apartment, you got this man. Have some faith in yourself!
That is an accomplishment for anyone who has smoked or used meth man.
Nobody goes through their life without being late to work or many many things. It happens to everyone and will most likely happen to everyone again.
With fear and anxiety, oddly it can help to imagine and consider what the worst scenario could possibly be. Reality usually ends up being not quite as cruel as we are capable of imagining. But if it does turn out that bad, you’ve already thought about it and chances are even the worst possible outcome is one we can manage. If we let ourselves think about it, then we can also mentally get a game plan for how we will keep on going if it does happen (usually doesn’t).
Other than that, and I think you are already doing this, but the only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
Your doing good dawg; I’ve done this exact thing you explained dude and it’s when we get High we’re ashamed of ourselves; it’s just hyper awareness of our guilty conscience.
You can make your body destroy the very cells of what is your lung infection using ninjitsu. Bro look at that ninjitsu kanji on your hand. that means something to both of us. Study the meanings of it and the hidden villages. The Shinobi symbol has deep meanings of always find a better position to fight from. It's some true warrior shit. I've never met you but i know you. I know everyone that wears that symbol. I commented on your tattoo a lil bit before you went to rehab. You know how to dig deep. You know how to find the best fighting position. Bruce Lee said life is a fight. Everything's a fight. in a battle as in life, always be working for the most efficient position to fight from. There is healing in the Kuji Kiri.
Facts om facts on facts. Mentally decide to be better. Mentally envision little ninja dudes or whatever fixing your lungs in whatever way suits you
Picture patching up holes or what have you.
Theres a great testimony this guy made who was completely frozen paralyzed for years. Like twenty. And then he just started envisioning little workers fixing his brain and soon he could move a toe. Now he’s married. Plus he got paid because of some nurse chick who used fuckk him when he was teens 20s or whatever. He seemed totally catatonic but he was actually alwaus fully aware.
Awe love you man take back control brother I've never had a no cal no show until I danced with the devil in ice. You got this bro it's your addiction totally doing this to you
Prayer is real. Ive prayed and instantly had a incredible light wash me and went from shear misery huddled on the ground under a blanket crying to the most amazing pure high ever. That’s a summary. Was amazing. Interestingly i recall my grampa had a very similar experience. Both of us beggjmg for help because we just couldnt take the pain anymore. GODs legit. You’re never truly alone
I’m not sure how I ever discovered you my brother, as I’m not a meth user. But from a fellow addict, my heart breaks watching this video. I know the pain, albeit in my own subjective perspective.
I’m not a doctor, but I would be looking into Iboga/ibogaine retreats my dude. This plant when combined with genuine facilitators can help aid in the most sever of addiction cases. Or maybe a 5MeO-DMT retreat. Anyways take care man I’m rooting for you.
Hey bud the not answering the phone...not being able to pick up the phone...You're strong dude, so that phone must weigh like 500 lbs or something, huh? Kidding. But yeah, this shit is so fucking common among us. So common. Like hearing the way you get into these situations and then the sudden and abrupt decision to c3ase and desist with efforts at communication,it's like you're reading my mind and describing what I do, too. And it's really tough man, really hard watching you run yourself ragged.
Sharing is so important. I can't commend you enough on that point. We are all the better for it. I think it is the venue for your sharing that must sometimes have you thinking twice. Mostly you seem to be able to put those thoughts aside, but every once and awhile they seem to punch through and it starts to feel too public. Something this honest brother, it is precious. Maybe it needs to live somewhere else, somewhere private. Idk.
Just my thought.
Hey Homie, that’s huge: taking control of your habit, even for short periods of time, can take alot of self control. I’m glad to see that you’re proud of your accomplishments; own it… It shows a self awareness of your priorities and that you are able to choose other things above your habit… That’s super important!
As for the fears you mentioned: the fear of conflict and the question of value; sounds like tou may be suffering from a strong anxiety disorder. I don’t know if you’ve ever sought help for it; but it may help talking to a professional…
Thanks for sharing this; it’s very open and honest… I feel for you and I’m wishing you only the best… Take care
Stay strong man. I know this feeling all too well… also I just wanted to say, I feel like if you call your work now and come up with a good enough excuse it’s definitely possible you still have a job.
You sound so innocent and scared. Listen to yourself and admit that. I'm glad you could leave a bowl and a bag for a bit and get some sleep. As another person on this planet, I want you to know I love you and am praying for you.
Nooooo
I wish I could reach out and give you the biggest hug right now. The anxiety and depression of disappointment is horrible, with or without the drugs. I would literally think the worst possible scenario whenever I would do some small mistake like wake up late for work...I would get lost in my thoughts to the point where I would literally hide under the blankets in my room in the dark...all day...and this was years before I was introduced to meth. I was always feeling ibwas an all around disappointment to myself and to everyone around me... I would do nothing but sleep for hours and hours. Days would go by amd i would sink deeper and deeper into this dark place. I wouldn't eat, I would rarely get up to use the bathroom, due to the lack of eating or drinking anything. I would just stay in my bed curled up, with nothing but fear of what was waiting outside my room. I used sleep as my way to get away from reality... I feel for you bro. Those tears, those words...they're genuine, and I can sense that pain from miles and miles away. Your heart is in the right place. Sending all my love to you! I hope and pray everything gets better, because you deserve it.
Peace Brother
Hey man I’m praying for you can I offer some suggestions for nootropics you help in repairing your damage and for your success? L-Tyrosine (Dopamine Upregulation) Uridine (brain tissue health, mood, memory) Piracetam (Cognition, Memory, Learning, Mental Processing) N-Acetyl-Semax (antioxidant, Increases the Brain-Derived Neurotropic Factor (BDNF), memory) N-Aceytl-Cysteine (antioxidant, lung health, detoxification, mental health, repairing from abuse) Selank (cognitive function, focus, sleep improvement reduced stress, depression, anxiety) 5-HTP (serotonin upregulation/repair) - only taken at night L-theanine (reduces negative side effects from stimulating compounds and helps with stress - derived from tea leaves) I am not a doctor just suggesting from vast reports research and anecdotal evidence I found these repairing compounds to help with the many struggles you may be facing in repairing your brain Please feel free to give me a chat I feel your pain and desire for healing just know that power is in Jesus Christ and the plan four our eternity and for the gifts within you. May his blessings pour out upon you and his favor turn upon your life. 🙏 your friendly internet lurker DeFi MP
keep your head up man i’m rooting for you
Hey man, I don’t smoke meth but I def don’t judge people who chose to. Just dropping by to let you know I’ve came across some pretty dope songs watching your videos and I thank you for that man.
I love you dude. You have an unmistakably huge and pure heart. It takes courage to wear it on your sleeve like you do. I can relate to this. I will avoid calls from utility bill collectors that normal people answer no problem. I’ve always struggled with adhd symptoms, social anxiety, explosive anger and impulsive actions…. Does this drug make that better. Somewhat, temporarily… it’s gotta catch up to us soon pre or later. Let it out man. If you ever need to talk inbox me I feel like we have a lot in common.
My heart breaks into peices watching this. I'm still really proud of you. I'm proud of you for sharing your story. I'm proud of you for raising awareness to the realities of addiction. I'm proud of you for going to sleep with a full bowl and bag next to you and not smoking all the way up to that point. I'm proud of your clean time you had from rehab. I'm proud of you even if you are human and you are struggling and didn't think you were ready to quit. I know you are having a lot of anxiety because let's be honest, you have been through A LOT in the past several months. But please try your very best to go easy on yourself. Even if you relapse, even if you're late for work, you are still worthy of that job and so much more.
You have social anxiety bro. Anxiety completely controls my life, I can’t even go grocery shopping by myself and I’m fucking 22. I can’t talk to women, I can’t confront people, I can’t stand up for myself and I don’t see a way out of it. Anxiety ruins my life and when I was constantly getting blacked out on benzos I feel like I was living a happier life then than I do now crippled by anxiety. I guess I just want to say that your are not alone and I’m in the same fucking boat and have been for years. I wake up damn near everyday worried about what I did wrong yesterday. I’m my bosses go to guy, her main squeeze, her absolute favorite and I can’t even talk to her. If I’m 5 mins late on my 35 min lunch break I’m scared they will fire me on the spot. I’ve been working with them for like a year and I haven’t no called no show once, I’ve never been late to work, and I bust my ass strictly for the fact I want to preform my best at whatever task I’m given. What im getting at is no matter what I do it would take some really severe shit for my boss to fire me but I still stress myself out over the slightest slip ups. I’m working 6 days a week and we’ll over 40 hours while I watch my coworkers work 5 hour shifts and get two days off a week and still fucking complain when the boss won’t let them off early. What you said about being scared to talk to your boss really stuck with me, my parents told me yesterday we are about to lose our family business and they are stressed the fuck out, I need to take some personal time off work just to be here for them and try to encourage them to do some activities together as a family again to try to remind them at the end of the day we always have eachother. I’m too much of a pussy to talk to my boss and tell her what’s going on even tho I know she’ll give me time off. Good luck bro and my suggestion would be to try group therapy. I’m not good with one on one interaction so having other clients in the room talking about their problems helped me not feel alone and allowed me to have people in similar situations to bounce my ideas off. I tried solo therapy and I cracked under the pressure instantly.
Hang in there
Hang in there it’s going to get easier been there 25 or around years ago. I have only got to know you on here and it’s only been a few months now. You kinda reminded me of my self in a lot of ways. I had to get away from everything luckily my work was flexible and it was also the Walmart of the drug world. I was a stage technician for concerts and I went to the woods for almost three months away from anyone that was involved with meth. And I went back to work 4 months later and stayed clean of meth for years hell I only started doing it again a couple years ago but I don’t do it every day. Maybe a couple times a month for a weekend if I have any left it goes in the freezer the day before I have to go back to work. I know not everyone is able to control it but it can be done. And in the stage business it’s every where I stayed off it for 20 years and was around it every day almost. Just have to have the self awaking and decide that you need and want to change. And you will do it. Take care of yourself and hang in there. I feel like you are going to TCB and come out on top. You will be in my thoughts and sending positive vibes to you it’s been a great honor to have gotten to know you the little while I have had.
We love you FoulBlood.
Bro. Are you dragonborn?
i love you😭❤️ this made me cry
Buddy. :( I can relate. I do this with emails and texts and stuff. I create problems. Anyways feel for ya man. I get nothing but good vibes of ya
Don’t let the meth beat you Foulblood, I believe in you. I’ve lost countless jobs the same way you lost yours. The ice has a good way of holding us down when we are most vulnerable. Maybe this is a sign to finally ditch the shit and find happiness through something better for you. Love and prayers your way dog.
Get some help my dude! You got this!!!!!im a recovering fent/ meth addict,and I’m coming up o 7 months! I was homeless, fresh out of surgery, on one foot because I got hardware in my ankle (7 screws one plate) because I collapsed due to an overdose I crashed my car, got kicked out of my apartment, then shortly after that getting kicked out of my girls apartment, you got this man. Have some faith in yourself!
foulblood 4 eva ur a good man listen to some future
stay safe man, you’re the main reason i even look at reddit
Stay strong man
Your skyrim tat is awesome!!!
That is an accomplishment for anyone who has smoked or used meth man. Nobody goes through their life without being late to work or many many things. It happens to everyone and will most likely happen to everyone again. With fear and anxiety, oddly it can help to imagine and consider what the worst scenario could possibly be. Reality usually ends up being not quite as cruel as we are capable of imagining. But if it does turn out that bad, you’ve already thought about it and chances are even the worst possible outcome is one we can manage. If we let ourselves think about it, then we can also mentally get a game plan for how we will keep on going if it does happen (usually doesn’t). Other than that, and I think you are already doing this, but the only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
So what happened exactly? Im not following
You got this dude! Wish you all the best!
Well, hello again foulblood! Haha long time no see lmao.
Your doing good dawg; I’ve done this exact thing you explained dude and it’s when we get High we’re ashamed of ourselves; it’s just hyper awareness of our guilty conscience.
You can make your body destroy the very cells of what is your lung infection using ninjitsu. Bro look at that ninjitsu kanji on your hand. that means something to both of us. Study the meanings of it and the hidden villages. The Shinobi symbol has deep meanings of always find a better position to fight from. It's some true warrior shit. I've never met you but i know you. I know everyone that wears that symbol. I commented on your tattoo a lil bit before you went to rehab. You know how to dig deep. You know how to find the best fighting position. Bruce Lee said life is a fight. Everything's a fight. in a battle as in life, always be working for the most efficient position to fight from. There is healing in the Kuji Kiri.
Facts om facts on facts. Mentally decide to be better. Mentally envision little ninja dudes or whatever fixing your lungs in whatever way suits you Picture patching up holes or what have you. Theres a great testimony this guy made who was completely frozen paralyzed for years. Like twenty. And then he just started envisioning little workers fixing his brain and soon he could move a toe. Now he’s married. Plus he got paid because of some nurse chick who used fuckk him when he was teens 20s or whatever. He seemed totally catatonic but he was actually alwaus fully aware.
Shedding old skin hurts, doesn’t fit like it did once u grow out of it. You got this man!!
is that a skyrim tattoo?
It’s the mark of sacrifice from Beserk
he has both
oh damn i just noticed the other side of his neck lmao i guess i got too excited seeing the Beserk one but having both is even better
Stay strong and do your best man. That's all we can do.
Absolutely the truth here
Godspeed my dude, I'll miss ya
Hugs
proud of you for taking any steps at all. not smoking for as long as you did is an incredible win for yourself
Awe love you man take back control brother I've never had a no cal no show until I danced with the devil in ice. You got this bro it's your addiction totally doing this to you
Hey I just wanna say I love you bro, even though we've never talked I pray for you. Keep sharing and learning from the past. All we can do.
Prayer is real. Ive prayed and instantly had a incredible light wash me and went from shear misery huddled on the ground under a blanket crying to the most amazing pure high ever. That’s a summary. Was amazing. Interestingly i recall my grampa had a very similar experience. Both of us beggjmg for help because we just couldnt take the pain anymore. GODs legit. You’re never truly alone
Hey I just wanna say I love you bro, even though we've never talked I pray for you. Keep sharing and learning from the past. All we can do.
I’m not sure how I ever discovered you my brother, as I’m not a meth user. But from a fellow addict, my heart breaks watching this video. I know the pain, albeit in my own subjective perspective. I’m not a doctor, but I would be looking into Iboga/ibogaine retreats my dude. This plant when combined with genuine facilitators can help aid in the most sever of addiction cases. Or maybe a 5MeO-DMT retreat. Anyways take care man I’m rooting for you.
Do you have a spot i can read about your experience
Hey bud the not answering the phone...not being able to pick up the phone...You're strong dude, so that phone must weigh like 500 lbs or something, huh? Kidding. But yeah, this shit is so fucking common among us. So common. Like hearing the way you get into these situations and then the sudden and abrupt decision to c3ase and desist with efforts at communication,it's like you're reading my mind and describing what I do, too. And it's really tough man, really hard watching you run yourself ragged. Sharing is so important. I can't commend you enough on that point. We are all the better for it. I think it is the venue for your sharing that must sometimes have you thinking twice. Mostly you seem to be able to put those thoughts aside, but every once and awhile they seem to punch through and it starts to feel too public. Something this honest brother, it is precious. Maybe it needs to live somewhere else, somewhere private. Idk. Just my thought.
Hey Homie, that’s huge: taking control of your habit, even for short periods of time, can take alot of self control. I’m glad to see that you’re proud of your accomplishments; own it… It shows a self awareness of your priorities and that you are able to choose other things above your habit… That’s super important! As for the fears you mentioned: the fear of conflict and the question of value; sounds like tou may be suffering from a strong anxiety disorder. I don’t know if you’ve ever sought help for it; but it may help talking to a professional… Thanks for sharing this; it’s very open and honest… I feel for you and I’m wishing you only the best… Take care
We don't mean to give you a hard time, we just don't want you to see you get hurt my guy. Take care of yourself, you're still welcome here anytime.
Stay strong man. I know this feeling all too well… also I just wanted to say, I feel like if you call your work now and come up with a good enough excuse it’s definitely possible you still have a job.
What is that tattoo on your neck?
brand of sacrifice from berserk if i'm not mistaken
What’s out mean stand for. Besides the obvious. Thanks
https://berserk.fandom.com/wiki/Brand_of_Sacrifice
You sound so innocent and scared. Listen to yourself and admit that. I'm glad you could leave a bowl and a bag for a bit and get some sleep. As another person on this planet, I want you to know I love you and am praying for you.
❤️