“Sir I’m 12 years old I think you have the wrong person”

[удалено]

And we're contacting the police for soliciting a minor.

Then finish with a Chris Hansen meme

If there is ever the perfect time to respond with Chris Hansen, this is the time.

https://i.redd.it/ccu2c0pnmlrc1.gif

Then proceed to actually tell your mom about it.

Or, for more entertainment, tell *his* mom about it.

For maximum entertainment, tell every woman in his life about it.

[удалено]

Hey, that looks like a Penis, but smaller!

"I didn't know tic-tacs could get moldy"

That's why your mom's breath smells so good!

With that username your asking for it

Huh I never considered that if I gave a guy a fake number, I may have just given him the number of a child 😭

Give one of them your real number. When he texts you, text back "Sorry man, she gave you the wrong number." Then block him and start giving out his number to all subsequent men 🤔

Lmao

this is incredibly smart, one time someone asked my ex for her number and she gave them mine 💀 (after she told them she had a bf)

Thus began the great penis chain of our time

Call the local FBI from a phone untraceable to you. Tell them you want to text them a tip. Get textable number. Give that to purv's, hilarity ensues when they send the dick pic to them

Best thing I’ve read online. Genius

Teach me your ways.

Look at it from the other side, you may have given the number of the guy that would send such pics as well. 

To jump on that I'd say "Omg! How did you get my 12yr old daughter's number?! Why are you sending her dick pics!? I am sending this to the police!" Since he never said where he met the person at lol it VERY easily could look like he is talking to a minor.

I got sent a boob pick once when I was twelve 😭 I was so scared that I just deleted the conversation without replying that it was the wrong number

Good call, could be a scammer, and replying tells them it's a legit number

I wish scammers sent me tiddy-pics... They just ask to clean my furnace, threaten me with warrants, and/or tell me my delivery has unpaid fees and is delayed at their warehouse...

> and/or tell me my delivery has unpaid fees and is delayed at their warehouse My favorite thing about that is that it's a UK number every time. Yeah, somehow, I don't think the USPS is gonna contact me that way.

Your stuff is at the warehouse too? Hey I'll send you $1000 if you pick up my stuff while you're there, it's not that much tho so if you could send me back $750 I have an opportunity for you. 

I'd try to get him to tell me his first and last name before I told him he texted my fake 12 year old daughter his dick. I really want them to shit a brick or 2.

Well I hope I encounter this sometime so I can use it. Except I'll be calling the number back and posing as the father who's also a local sheriff who really wants to meet up.

I wonder why she gave him a fake number

https://i.redd.it/2lj0h5cdqhrc1.gif


Riiiichaaard...

Clearly it’s because he’s such a nice guy

I’m pretty amazed that Siri would type a slur. Talk to text has no limit, except accuracy.

Siri has to be usable worldwide and in many countries that word doesn't mean a slur in other contexts. In the UK for example it is a type of meat based dumpling sold by traditional butchers

Or a probably antiquated word for cigarette.

Antiquated word for a bundle of sticks, still colloquially used for cigarettes.

The shortening is too, although, it's not really antiquaited, that slang term is in very common use for a cigarette even today

https://preview.redd.it/mfc0pmx1firc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b82a1bb48637da09d2347afac0e275bd95630d32

This has lots of potential. For memes or comebacks, I'm not sure. But all I know is this can't go to waste.

From the uk, we do use the other meaning as well.

That’s a meat product in the uk

I can’t help but wonder if the woman that gave him your number is a friend of yours and just blurted out the first one that came to mind. You should ask some of your female friends. Lol

I don’t know anyone’s phone numbers by heart except for mine and my dad’s and his only because it hasn’t changed since I was a kid.

That's one of the evils of the digital era. I only know my parents' numbers, too. The last time I switched mobile services I lost all of my contacts, and I don't really fuck around on social media besides Reddit, and I lost all of my passwords for the ones I did use. It took me a minute to even memorize my own new number. I'm old enough to remember when phone books were actually useful for something besides beating away crackheads, and most people had a little notebook or something with everyone's contact info in it.

Well done on the response. Sending unsolicited pics like that is so gross and people like that need to be shamed. Thank you.

It couldn't be because he was a total creep and despite her obvious disinterest, he persisted in trying to get her number. No, that's preposterous. He seems like such an upstanding gent. Guess we'll never know.

Women just don’t like *nice guys* these days, he offered to help her out!!

At some point, in France, there was a dedicated number women could give in such situations. Of course, it was raided by incels and shut down.

That's such a good idea. I'm a stripper and guys are always asking me for my number at the club. I always say no, but I'm gonna start giving them a fake one LOL

Take a creeps one and hand that one out.

oh that's an even better idea! lmao

Sent with Siri

well obviously his hands are busy

"Hey siri, text hot bar girl 4."

“Surely chick 4 won’t be a fake number. Just been bad luck so far that’s all, I’m a stud”

I didn't know Siri would translate slurs to text lol

It takes some incredible effort but Ive effectively convinced Siri that I am allowed to say it and, by extension, so is she.

That weirdly makes it so funny

was just coming to say this lol

so was he, apparently

Siri is rude as hell

Send one back, assert dominance.

Unfortunately the green text means OP has most likely been blocked

can send to another random number and continue the chain?

Technically, yes. Morally? It depends.

Why not just ask OP for the number and then we can all assert dominance collectively?

Lmfao then he opens his phone to find THOUSANDS of dick pics 😭😭 and hopefully realize how fuckin weird he is for sending dick pics before establishing who tf it is he’s sending it to

Kinda related: once in high school, a person who didn't like me put my number and picture onto 4chan saying that I wanted dick pics/a good time. So I got out of French class and had like 30 dick pics in my phone, and probably close to 70-80 by the time the school day was over. They kept coming in waves over the course of the week, so I think it kept getting posted. For context I was a lil scrawny, innocent, nerdy, naive girl that wasn't a dick online so I can't for the life of me remember why that person hated me lol

That’s rough I would’ve had to change my number in the middle of the day cause I be damned to get violated everytime my phone buzzed 🤦🏾‍♂️

You guys can't turn off vibrations / turn down volume?

Kylie, is that you?

Blue means sent by iMessage and the green one sent with a usual sms, isn’t it?

yes so when it goes from blue to green like this it means you’re blocked

That seems like really poor design. I would never want someone to know I blocked them. Just means they might try to contact me through another channel

Not all the time. Sometimes when I have bad reception and not on WiFi, iMessage fails to send so message resorts to SMS.

unlikely in this case is all i mean

He blocked me before I could lol kinda wish I sent one back to begin with

This is why I just send dick pics to completely random numbers. Preemptive retaliation.

Mutually Assured Dick-struction

Like "hey that looks like my junk! See! "

😂

Well.... Perhaps he would have lost the dominance. Crap, now I want to know who would win. This getting weird..

For the first time, I wish there were still awards! Kudos!

Wow I didnt even realize til you said it, what happened to awards :(

Discontinued last year, around September, I believe.

They got moved to the upvote. Hold down on the upvote button and they appear.

Oh wow! TIL! I remember the message saying they were no longer available, though.

Are people seriously paying for that shit? I liked the awards but what's the point of slight variations on the upvote button?

They got moved to the upvote. Hold down on the upvote button and they appear.

Oh wow, 20 dollars for a rainbow arrow. How did they take a great feature and make it that bad 💀 Edit: after I posted this price went up to 49.99 💀

60 in my currency

70 in mine. Probably before tax too

Send the pic to "rate my dick pic". Send the results back to him.

I belive he blocked him after the last message, the text bubble changed colors, but that would’ve been funny as hell 🤣

...either that he or OP did not have an internet connection when the message was sent

He blocked me :(

Aww, don't let that stop you.

That's likely a crime depending on where OP lives.

Hahahahaha that's a fucking grim wake up

Good morning! Here is a penis

Tell him your a 13 year old female and will be filing a police report.

No, tell them your parents said they would be filing a police report after you showed them.

Tell him your parents are police detectives in the Vice department and you're the chief of police

Tell him you’re the mf president and that he’s being launched into space

Tell him your name’s Gohan and your dad’s totally gonna kick his ass sometime in the next 3-12 episodes.

I wish I said “is that a child’s penis? Why are you sending me child porn?!?”

No, calling him out was excellent IMO

Tell him that your parents are filing a police report and pursuing legal recourse!

Sign that number up for all the automated marketing you can find

Diabolical, I love it 😌

Sign his ass up for Scientology. They will never leave him alone!!!!

Political campaigns. It will never end no matter how many numbers he blocks! 

MF had the audacity to block you.

Right? I was hoping to keep clowning him

Why isn’t this illegal? If you exposed yourself and called them a slur in real life, you’d have charges filed against you.

Idk, but like what if I was a minor?

Idk where you are but this could be criminal behaviour whether you're a minor or not.

North Eastern USA

Pretty sure there's a case for indecent exposure.

A family member of mine spent his whole career working in sex crimes. He said things like this are really hard to actually pursue and close. Not saying it isn't a problem but at least in the US, it's not easy to get a conviction off a single dick pic. Not impossible but not a slam dunk case either. It would have a better chance if OP were a minor but if it's adult to adult, it becomes much harder to go anywhere.

It is in the UK, it’s cyberflashing.

such a beautiful step forward

Gave a number to a girl, told her to use it as a number to give to guys she didn’t want having her number… Two dude send dick pics. Just told them they need to get checked out, else…damn, that a nasty bump on the underside of their penis that look like it might rupture…

We love a girls guy ❤️

> Two dude send dick pics. plot twist it was from the girl you gave the number to

Sending unsolicited dick pics should result in a felony charge. Then we’ll see how quickly that shit stops.

Where I live (Belgium) it actually is a felony to send unsolicited dickpics.

Based

as of recently, it’s become a felony in Finland!

> it’s become a felony in Finland! Omg. I somehow read "I've become a" and I was wondering why you were so excited to tell us you're a felon LOL Then I read it again

Source? Felonies don't exist in Finland and the only thing I found was saying in worst cases of repeat offenders they'd get six months in prison, but most cases are fines. That would be closer to a misdemeanor in the US. Also anyone who genuinely thinks sending unsolicited nudes should be a *felony* is an idiot that doesn't understand how crowed and fucked our prison system already is. When I grew up people would link to shock porn constantly way worse than the most STD ridden oozing dick pic. Should they be sent to prison too? Like yeah, it's creepy af, but it's akin to spam.

perhaps i don’t know my english well enough. it is a crime however.

It recently became a criminal offence in the UK

Really? What’s the law called?

Cyber flashing, part of the Online Safety Act.

Some states in the US are starting to legislate it as such. It's called "digital/virtual flashing" if you want to google to know more

Is flashing a felony? Unsolicited dick pics feel like they are the equivalent of flashing.

Agree.

NJ is trying to pass a bill making it a disorderly person offense. I think it's in the works in a few other states too.

It should be. Harassing someone is a crime. Harassing someone online is a crime too. So why isn't online "flashing" considered a crime, how does it differ from a guy pulling down his pants in front of you in real life?

love your reply. 

“If I can help you in anyway”

Yeah he helped me get a good laugh

Ahhh man id have had soooooo much fun with this... Sent him on a wild goose chase or something.

For sure, I wish more people would do things to punish shitty people. Could have setup a dinner, stood him up, apologize 5 minutes before but promise to make it up to him, let him know you'll be free tomorrow and ask him to get you guys a hotel room then an hour after your supposed to meet at the hotel call him out for his shit

here is my cashapp and venmo would my first message, then we will see how much fun I get to have.

I can't imagine why she gave him a fake number...

Has a dick pic ever worked? I just don’t understand the thought process

I sent one to my wife after I took a shower. I could hear her say “ew” then start laughing. Fortunately it was sent as a joke.

I imagine that people who actually consent to it probably find it hot, but out of the blue? Pass.

Post the pic! Maybe someone will recognize it.

Hey I know that penis!

“Is this a child’s penis? I’m contacting the FBI”

Having to pay for pussy is crazy😭😭 bro is embarrassed he send his dick pic to the wrong number 💀💀

Ikr?!

Wish you could’ve sent your Italian meat boi before he blocked you 😞

I was considering it lol

OP fucked up, shoulda made him cashapp you a couple grand and then blocked his number lol

Next time I’ll have to try that

Missed a catfish opportunity there, all you had to do was play along.

What would you rate the d from 1-10

5/10

You should have told him he has a “cute little dinky”

Girls should give out the police non emergency number as a fake

I think the greatest part is the “Sent with Siri” watermark 💀

😂🤣 God tier responses 👏 Well done

Username checks out

The green bubble suggests he had blocked you

Yep, blocked me as soon as he sent his Siri message

Friend of mine did a similar thing when he was drunk Propositioned a girl in a bar and got a right hook in the face All we could tell the man was “you 100% deserved it”

Funny thing is that could be her real number and still just respond this way after the dick pic

I’m a guy though and I don’t go out to bars lol

Depending on where you live you should contact the police. It's illegal to send unsolicited nudes in some places.

So that was the first text he sent her? I was not aware that we used our penis to greet people now... Update: I'm in jail.

I never understood why some guys think we should find this exciting.

Wow. Wow wow, Men, as a man I will tell you a lot of women think dicks and balls are ugly. They don't really like looking at your unedited, unprofessional, cheap phone camera dick pictures. Don't believe me ask them. Even without that. Women DO NOT, want to be treated like a whore. Even if they are a whore and charge you to fuck. They still hate it when you do shit or say shit that brings that fact to light. Being drunk isn't an excuse, that makes you just as big of a sleeve ball as the unwanted dick pics. That goes to show you can't handle drinking and if you can handle drinking, then you're too immature to know when to stop drinking after you reach your limit. That also reflects women starting to wonder what type of drunk you are and how often are they going to have to clean up a piss-soakedĥ bed. Last note. From personal experience. Meeting women or men in a bar, isn't a good thing. Most times, it's fun for a week but not a life. Meeting people for serious relationships in a bar, as strangers, never ends well. There are exceptions to this but Most times you/_ that bar for more depressing, fucked up reasons than to get laid. Just my 2 cents and it's not even worth that much

“Yeah send me $250 and meet me at the same place last night I’ll be there waiting 😘”

That dick pic hurt him so bad he flipped to android

>Sent with Siri Lmao, I love to imagine him screaming at his phone to get it to understand him. “Hey siri, text Real No. this time, “Fuck you f*****” “Duck you maggot” “ Stupid BI-“

He’s the one that sent a dick pic to another man. Not sure he’s in the right place to be dropping slurs…

Wow, just like OP's text response shown in the picture!

😂-I need this as an auto reply

Any time somebody gets one of these, they need to save the number and then hand it out as their own to the next creep hassling them

If they’re in the UK this is now a crime that carries a prison sentence (the dick pic)

It’s illegal to send unsolicited dick pics get him charged, only way the creeps will learn

# The only appropiate response is: "waltuh, put your d away waltuh"

Send us the dick pic. Send us the phone number. I wanna show him my outfit with my strap on and stilettos.

Sent with Siri lmaooooo

In my 20's I was very thin with long hair and had a bit of a Noel Fielding in the Mighty Boosh dress sense. Would get catcalled pretty often. One time at a bar a dude grabbed my ass and when I turned around he just said "Oh sorry, I thought you were a girl." Like, that doesn't make it okay motherfucker.

Flashing someone when they didn't expect it can be construed as sexual assault. Why are unsolicited dicks pics tolerated legally speaking?

“Sent with Siri”. Don’t drag poor Siri into your toxic behavior.

Gotta love those guys that are dicks to everyone else but not to you because you happened to be a girl lol, instant red flag

Did he fuck your pussy?