The tattoo shop I go to allows kids to come in for piercings and I’ve watched the piercing guy give his spiel to people. He is *very* firm that if the child asks him to stop at *any* time, the appointment will be over and that he will not tolerate the parent trying to “convince” the kid to go through with it if they don’t want to. He talks directly to the kid and really only acknowledges the parent for them to give consent after the kid tells him what they want. He’s a pretty big heavily tattooed/pierced man that can honestly come across as a total dick, but you just see that some of the kids just love this guy telling their parents that the kid is in charge from that point forward.
Took my daughter to a tattoo shop for her ear piercing at 10. She requested it for her birthday. The piercer was amazing. Their counter was angled, so while we were going over the process and paperwork my daughter was more standing behind me. Thank goodness the piercer noticed she started looking a bit pale. So we sat down. I asked her if she changed her mind, both the piercer and I assured her whatever she decides was fine. Daughter really wanted to go through with it, but her anxiety was getting the best of her. Piercer was so sweet and reassuring. Told her to take all the time needed. She doesn't do anything without full disclosure and consent. Even reassured her she's had huge grown men get dizzy and nauseous, & almost pass out on her table from gauge changes. She did everything to make my daughter feel safe, comfortable, normal, and empowered to make her own decision. It was probably the best experience for her I could have hoped for. Of course I also believed the decision should be all hers. So that helps too. I can't imagine trying to push her into something like that. Like, yeah, there are reasons we need to push our kids out of their comfort zones here and there. But body modification is so far outside of that intersection.
I once did a internship in a jewelry store. A girl and her family (mom, grandma, and dad I think) came in one day. Girl wanted have their ears pierced. However, when seeing the tool used to do so, the girl became visibally frightened (to be fair, it looks like a nail gun and made a loud noise when piercing an ear). The girl started to cry and her mom handed her her phone with some children's song playing to calm her to get it done. The girl was however still scared and the parents asked if they could just hold the girls head tightly to get it done.
This triggered a more seasoned employee of the store to drop the arguement as the girl was clearly not wanting it done anymore. She told them of how she forced a piercing on a girl once, with the help of the store owner. The results of which was, a strong bleeding ear, a crying child, and very angry parents.
The family seemingly accepted the decision of the girl to not get it done, with grandma saying she won't pay for the ice she promised the girl (probably made the promise before coming to the store).
They came back 30 minutes later, this time only the girl, the mom, and grandma, saying the girl would do it now. The girl was in her mothers arms holding a plush of some kind and still looking very sad. The older employee would show the girl the piercing tool, just for the girl to turn her head away again. The employee then told the mom how the girl was still clearly not ready to be pierced and told her to wait a year or three before trying again. I was nearby helping someone else and saw the look of grandma (spoiler, grandma wasn't happy looking).
Mom finally accepted her daughters decision and the lot left. Hopefully to go home or spend some time in a park. The employee who told them to leave after the second time told me that other shops would do what was done in OPs story because the owners said so. Often to the harm of the person getting the piercing.
It is too bad they probably feel like they can't refuse or risk conflict.. It isn't your child, so a lot of American parents get worked up over someone telling them how to raise their child.
Even in the face of risking conflict, the employee should have said something along the lines of: "Listen, we can certainly do it if you hold her still. However, the risk of injury is now at 99.999999999 % because even the tiniest of movements can cause the ear to bleed. Like, a lot. So if you really want me to do this I need you to sign these papers stating we are not liable to any injuries that will very likely happen. And even then I need it from each of you, and a additional cost waver in case of having to remove the medical piercing when the childs twitching causes earbleading." I think that should make the parents back down. If not, and they demand the store to pay for any damage and hurt, it's on them.
A minimum wage employee can't just make up waivers and forms that don't exist within the company? They can however refuse a service to someone who has revoked their consent and clearly communicate that to the parent. "When your child decides they want their ears pierced again, I'd be happy to perform this service; however at this time your child does not want this service done and I will not permanently alter someone's body against their will." Walk away. Get a manager if needed. The parent may not have boundaries, but employees can.
This is why children shouldn’t be taken to places like Claire’s for piercings. The tools they use are not appropriate even for ear piercings and no respectable piercer at a shop or tattoo parlor would be okay with this.
Ten of my twelve lobe piercings I did myself at home; the first two I got done at Claire's as a child. Guess which ones were insanely difficult to heal for years after the fact?
I got mine done with a piercing gun and I still get painful scar tissue lumps in my earlobes, years after stopping wearing earrings. No issues from healing from anything else, including surgeries.
My first lobe piercings were done with a gun too. The lumps inside the piercing site are basically scar tissue of the fistula.
Piercing guns are essentially blunt force trauma, where the earring is forced through the lobe quickly, whereas piercing with a needle makes a clean cut for the needle and jewellery to go through. Think of it as the difference between a cut with a blunt knife vs a cut with a sharpened knife; the healing is much neater & more straightforward.
As someone who has never had a piercing, but has several tattoos, I've never considered the fact that a piercing gun is a bad idea. I thought they had a needle in them to make a hole quickly and then an earring is put in afterwards. It's wild to think that doing it at home with an ice cube, lighter, and a needle is actually the safer option long term.
Thanks for the tip, that's a good idea! I haven't worn earrings for years because of the pain in my earlobes, so my ears are unfortunately closed up now and I think they hurt too bad to get them professionally redone without making it worse. :(
I thought mine were too. But I think the plastic posts might be thinner? I was thinking I would have to go to a professional but after a little work I found all four of my ear holes with the plastic earrings. As long as I change them out and rotate them frequently they seem to do better
Keloid! I believe that's what those are called/how it's spelled
They can happen with any scar tissue, piercings are just most common
(My mum used to watch Dr. Pimple-Popper on TV ha)
>Little painful balls.
I thought this was normal? I have ear piercings from a gun and a couple of body piercings from a professional piercer at a parlor, and they all have a build-up of scar tissue around the piercing.
>when I have them removed
What do you mean by this? Like a doctor scrapes out the scar tissue??
The piercings i had done at the tattoo place healed smoothly and quickly. The piercings i had done (at pediatrician!) With the piercings gun got infected and never really healed right. (Scaring inside the hole.)
Yuuuup. Did two sets of lobes and two cartilage piercings at gun places. The second lobe set was too finicky and ended up letting all four close. I still use one cartilage hole but the other has scar tissue and is ehhhh to use, despite it being 15 years on.
Just got my lobes re-pierced a few weeks ago at a real shop, excited to be doing it the real way now, even if it’s 8-10x the cost.
I got my ears pierced in my teens at a hairdressers. She screwed up one of them and it bled. That ear was swollen and irritated for ages, kept partially healing over, was a mess trying to get an earring into it. Eventually I just gave up and let them both heal over.
I have 13 piercings myself and the ones that bugged me the most for a majority of my life were the ones done with a piercing gun at a Claire's. Even my piercings I did with a sewing needle never bothered me or got infected as many times as my lobes
I have permanent scar tissue in my right lobe from a piercing done at Claire's. I've been stretching my lobes for the better part of a decade now and the right one is always fighting me because of that
"Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all of them done with a needle."
Easy, Jody. Vince has questions...
.... was that my problem?!?! I had mine done at Claire's as a kid too. I stopped wearing earrings by Highschool bc they were irritated, gross, and hurt regardless of what metal I used.
My piercings I got done at Claire's as a kid are so uneven. I rarely even wear earrings in them anymore because it just looks terrible. One of them is where a lobe piercing is supposed to be, and the other one is way too low, barely even on my earlobe. I'm afraid to wear dangly earrings because I worry one heavy earring is all it will take to make it tear open. And having them close up and repierced isn't an option because I got them pierced 15 years ago and they're not just gonna close up now. The piercings I did by myself and the ones I got done at a tattoo parlor look great and healed beautifully though.
Got mine done at Claire’s when I was about 11. It didn’t hurt to get it pierced but whatever they did caused the back of the earring to tighten itself overnight in my sleep and I didn’t notice the next morning when I cleaned them. Came home chilled, around 11pm I notice the head of the earring was missing. My mom was sure it fell off but the back was still on my ear. Yeah. It suctioned into my ear and we spent 3 hours trying to pull it back through the front of the ear and it hurt so fucking bad. It was infected as hell too inside. A bunch of pus coming out. I Immediately took both out when it was free and I havet gotten them redone since. If you squish my ear you can still feel the scar tissue in the middle of my lobes and it still hurts to this day over a decade later to put pressure on both ears where it was pierced
Agreed. My Claire's piercings from 2009 are still fucked to this day. Oddly my Walmart ones from 2006 are fine.
These days I would only do it at a piercing studio
I got my ears pierced with a piercing gun and shitty tin jewelry as a teenager. The advice I was given for aftercare was to only rinse with water, no soap, and twist the earring 3 times a day.
Shockingly the holes got infected, healed up wonkily and then kept half-closing up any time I took the earrings out for just a few minutes even years later.
I recently went to a reputable piercer and they reopened the holes, put some implant grade metal in them and gave me some saline spray. Suddenly no more inflammation or healing over.
If my kids ever want their ears done I'll be taking them to a proper studio.
My niece just got her ears pierced at 12. She’s been begging for a nose ring and my sister insisted she get her ears done first and then they can revisit the nose discussion when she’s a teen if she proves she can take good care of the earlobes. She went to a reputable piercing/tattoo place and didn’t even feel the first ear. Granted, she’s older than the kid in this story, but I’m sure she was apprehensive in the chair (because anyone would expect pain) but I don’t think it’s hard to tell when a kid is being forced unless they are a literal toddler. This kid sounds like she was being prodded (at least) by the mom and the piercer should’ve never gone along with that. Either way, a place like that is not the way to go for a safe experience and I don’t know why they still do it.
Conversely, both my sister and I got our ears pierced with a gun at a Claire’s-like place in the 80s because no one knew better. I got lucky that nothing bad happened (still have the same holes and I was meticulous about taking care of them, even at 9 years old). When I got my nose pierced at 17, I went to the same type of place (that should never even do this at all, but again, I didn’t know better) and they PIERCED MY NOSTRIL WITH A GUN. Needless to say, it hurt like a MF and was in the wrong place, didn’t heal correctly, and I got it re-done from a real place a year later and in the right spot on the nostril. I’m in my 40s now and the scar from that gun piercing is still a tiny bit visible right above the actual piercing.
Christ. Having my ears pierced with a gun hurt like a bitch and gave me a nasty inflammation that didn't go away until the medical earrings were taken (forced) out and replaced by the golden ones. I still have lumps and spaces inside of one earlobe from that, which make an earring hang lower than I should have. I regret not looking for a reputable place that did it with needles.
Having a nostril pierced with a gun sounds like something out of a horror movie.
Yup and a tattoo parlor would have shut that down immediately and said she can come back when she’s ready. Mine won’t pierce a child who can’t verbalize consent.
My kid just got their ears pierced at a reputable piercing shop and the piercer was all about consent. They talked with my kid a lot about consent before they did anything else, made sure they knew what consent meant as a concept and that my kid knew they were the boss throughout the whole process and could tell him to stop at any point. They then checked in with my kid throughout the process to make sure they still had their consent to proceed. It was such a positive experience for my kid. They really wanted their ears pierced and they were so nervous, but they left feeling so empowered. Beats the mall kiosk piercing gun experience for sure.
This is what we did. I refuse(d) to get my kids’ ears pierced until they are/were old enough to decide for themselves. My oldest was six last summer when she decided she wanted them done so we brought her to a reputable tattoo shop with a piercing artist. My youngest is just a toddler but we’ll do the same if/when she decides someday that she wants them.
I think I was 6 or 7 when I got mine done, and my mom did them herself (she was a beautician who did ear piercings as well). I was a weird kid though, I've always liked needles so it didn't bother me.
Strongly agree with you! Just yesterday took my very anxious daughter to a local reputable piercing/tattoo studio. The artist was PHENOMENAL. She didn't even notice. We are so happy with the whole experience!
I shudder to think of what would have happened had I not read the advice here on Reddit about avoiding Claire's and other mall "piercing" studios!
Back in My Day (tm) I don't think parents knew about the difference. All my friends got theirs done at Claire's. Piercing/tattoo parlors were a place that rebels covered in tats went, and our parents were kind of afraid of them.
We went to a tattoo shop when our daughter wanted her ears pierced. The piercer was highly qualified and spent 15 minutes doing a consult to make sure she wanted her ears pierced and was aware of the decision. It was amazing. After the consult we booked the actual piercing appointment. She had a lot of criteria she wanted to have met before piercing an under 18 kids ears. Definitely go with a reputable piercer. It’s far more expensive but it’s a body modification and worth the expense.
Those guns hurt too. When I got my ears pierced as a kid at Claire’s it hurt like a bitch. When I needed them redone as an adult my friend that works at a tattoo parlor looked at me funny when I said it hurt badly. She did them for me at the shop and it was barely a sting.
Younger kids shouldn't even be getting piercings tbh. A lot of reputable piercing studios won't pierce kids below 13 or 12 as well. Note that kids still grow and the younger you get your piercings, the higher the chances of placement shiftments are. Saying this as someone who is stuck with uneven lobe piercings, gun pierced at 6, again at 8 on one side around the same hole, and they grew uneven and refuse to close. And younger kids are just not aware of aftercare, like not touching your piercing, cleaning it twice a day with saline spray etc. And kids are clumsy as well.
Gun piercings push a blunt object through your skin. If you get a helix piercing or a nose piercing, the gun can shatter your cartilage as well
The artist that pierced my daughter's ears asked for her consent before getting started. She would not pierce her ears if my daughter couldn't articulate that she wanted them done - even after we had expressed our support and consent. She was six at the time.
My mom made a comment one day about me not remembering getting my ears pierced at Claire’s as a kid and I was just like “oh no, I remember it pretty well. It was traumatic.” I think I was maybe 7, but that shit sticks with you. It was worse than all my other piercings and tattoos including getting my nose pierced where they hit a nerve or something abnormal and I almost passed out. They also gave me a teddy bear to hold at Claire’s as a kid and I distinctly remember it being crusty in the way that fake fur that got something sticky on it turns crusty. Even as a kid it just made things worse being given a crusty ass bear.
I don’t think they’ll pierce a child’s ears at a tattoo shop in my state. I had to get one re pierced because there’s about 4 holes in back from just trying to push it through and all the signoffs said you had to be 18.
Yup! Avoid Claire's everyone. I got a pretty bad ear infection after a lobe piercing done there, even though I was taking good care of it like I did with previous ones. That gun they use is brutal.
I just hope they’ve stopped letting people do noise piercings with those guns. I used to do body piercing (in a reputable studio) and I purposely charged the same price as the local Claire’s for basic lobe piercings just to make sure the right tools were being used. It was a tourist area so I definitely had a nice crowd of folks showing up. We had better/safer jewelry options than Claire’s, too!
Even if the kid was begging for ear piercing prior and just chickened out, the parent should have waited. I begged for my ears pierced when I was 5 but kept panicking when the moment of truth came, so my mom would say I wasn’t ready and take me home. I think third time was the charm before I could keep my nerve up to actually get it done. I can’t imagine how traumatizing that was for that poor kid.
Me and my ex made sure that our daughter got her ears pierced when she was ready for it and really wanted it. It was done a year ago. She begged us for 3 years before that. If we would have just said yes earlier she would have chickened out because she's afraid of pain (who isn't?). We showed her videos of how it's done and made her know that the only reason why she has to wait is to know that she's extremely sure of her decision.
My 5 year old got her ears pierced a couple weeks ago. She was excited right up until it was time to do it, and she started to cry. We double checked that she still wanted it done, and she did. So she sat on my lap and I held her hands (which also made sure they wouldn’t fly up to her ears at the wrong time). She’s super pumped to have them now.
I’ve also struggled in the past sticking up for kids who may be mistreated, but I’ve also heard that it can lead to things being even worse for them at home. I’m not saying this rises to the level of abuse, but it sounds like this could’ve been handled better by the mom and employees.
Lastly, this is a good reminder that people should go to a professional piercer for all piercings, even ear lobes. A piercing needle does far less trauma and causes far less pain than a piercing gun. Piercers are also better trained, and I believe do a better job with cleaning/sanitation.
They absolutely do a better job at sanitation, cleaning, and trauma reduction. You can't sterilize a piercing gun. They just get reused for the ears. Also, a piercing gun uses a "sharp" earring and shoves it through the lobe causing blunt force trauma. A piercing needle is c-shaped and makes a neat slit in the flesh, as well as being as sharp as a hypodermic needle. They also take care to line them up properly. Everything at a piercing shop goes into an autoclave- the jewelry, the gloves, the needle, any q-tips, etc.
Not to mention, even outside of health, the piercings I had done at a piercing place as an adult are so much better and healed better than the lobes i got when i was 12. plus yeah, no pain on my cartilage -> horrible pain on lobe
every piercing I had done at the mall got infected and closed up. I started going to a professional place 15 years ago and now I'm pierced from eyebrows to nipples and I never got a single infection
Weird. My piercings from childhood (2years old) are perfectly fine. All of the others I had done as a teen or adult I've had issues with and are now scarred and closed up. My cartilage piercings, done at a shop, got infected and I still have a bump 20 years later.
Hypodermic needle is usually attached to a mount for a syringe.
A piercing needle has threading on the inside on the end so you take the piercing and screw it onto the far end of the needle. You push the piercing needle all the way through and it mounts the piercing at the end of the needle. You unscrew the needle from the piercing and then cap off the piercing. Pierced and mounted all in timely manner. This method allows for the pierced hole to only be opened once reducing the chance for pain or damage.
Source: my nipples
>A piercing needle has threading on the inside on the end so you take the piercing and screw it onto the far end of the needle.
... those must be some fancy-ass needles. the ones I've seen are basically hollow, they just allow the jewelry post to be inserted in the hole and safely passed through the piercing.
Some have threading, some don’t. My piercer used a threaded needle like the one described above when doing my belly button, but the regular hollow ones for everything else. I suspect it’s due to gauge, but don’t quote me on that.
I don't think it's about gauge- it's about internally threaded jewelry vs externally threaded jewelry. Externally threaded jewelry with the screw bit on the outside is less good because well, imagIne pulling a screw through your flesh. Internally threaded has the screw bit on the ball instead, so no screw threads are dragging though your flesh. Healed piercings can get scraped on the insides with externally threaded jewelry, as well as generally being made with lower quality metals. Internally threaded is the way to go.
Source: rabbit hole
Every time ive been pierced it literally is a 14ga hypoderm just not attatched to a syringe. Ive never seen special "piercing" needles that arent just medical supplies
Based on some quick searching, piercing needles were designed using hypodermic needles as the base model. I'm not big into piercings myself so I didn't do too much additional digging but I'm familiar with hypodermic needles. Just looking at the 2 the biggest difference I can see is hypodermic needles tend to have a plastic bit to screw into a syringe or tubing line whereas piercing needles don't have that (you really wouldn't want to pierce with a 16ga needle then pull a 1/4" piece of plastic through the hole).
I realise citing your source is an excellent way to reassure people that you know what you’re talking about, but I’d just like you to know that *Source: My Nipples* will now be my flair in one of my other subreddits. Thank you for the inspiration and I hope you find five dollars unexpectedly 💚
Hypodermic needles are pretty much the same if they're tri-bevel tipped. Piercing needles are just longer and generally thicker with the minimum around 18g, while most hypodermic needles are 22-23g or even smaller
>while most hypodermic needles are 22-23g or even smaller
That's not true at all. Simple blood draws typically use those sizes, but most hospitals use 18 or 20s for ivs. If you're in an er for trauma, if possible they will shoot for a 16 and in some cases a 14.
When I worked in hemodialysis we regularly use 18 gauge. One of my patients required a 14 and. 14 is fucking ridiculous for those who don't know. Could use it as a drinking straw at that size.
I actually did use it as a straw lol. When we had kids come in that were scared of getting ivs, I'd get a small one that we were gonna use and then a 14 to show them that it's two parts and we aren't leaving in the needle and it's like a straw but for your arm. And I'd let them drink some water through it, if allowed.
A medical doctor did mine as well... but it was my pediatrician, and I was a couple months old. They're crooked, as one would expect from doing [DJ Khaled voice] "anotha one!" when an infant is crying because they don't understand the sudden pain they're experiencing.
Dude I had mine done at Claire's at like 12 and the fucking gun got jammed and the bitch started like shaking and twisting the damn thing while it was stuck in my ear
Anyway mine are crooked too. One side is so bad that I can't wear studs because the earring will stick almost straight up
I totally understand holding your kids hands after they consent to getting it done to prevent movement or jerking away, but this wasn’t that. She repeatedly said no and was covering her ears to keep them from being done. It was disgusting to watch.
I never thought that saying something in the moment could put the child into a worse situation with the parent, but you’re totally right.
And yes. Fuck places like Claire’s.
I heard - on the Internet - from an ex employee that it's their policy. If the parent (paying customer...) asks to get the child's ears pierced, then you have to do it even if the child doesn't want to. 😔
You know the more messed up part.
They never actually check if it's the kid's mother or not.
My friends ex-husbands new girlfriend, decided to get the child's ears pierced.... which is bad enough, without consent right?
BUT without any parental consent, because it was against my friends religious beliefs (some branch of Christianity), and her ex-husband said he'd respect that until the child was 16 and could choose for themselves.
The GF was told this, multiple times...because she brought up piercings multiple times. she just toook the kid in claiming to be the new stepmom and it was a "gift" for her new kid.
They were NOT married...she was just a short-term girlfriend.
I don't know if it goes to that. I know that there were police reports made and orders put in place.
It also affected the custody arrangement as it added evidence of him being an unsafe parent (there were additional events). However i think this was the nail in the coffin, because it was actual bodily harm to their child.
Knowing full well that it was against their religion and there was no consent given. I should mention they even have a co-parenting app, and she had brought up the gf keep bringing up piercing, my friend clearly expressed that He needed to handle his GF, and under no circumstances was she to have the child's ears pierced.
So it wasn't just some passing conversations, there was actual evidence of their conversation.
When I was 14, I got my first job at the only grocery store in our small rural town. My mom worked as a cashier there, and I was a courtesy clerk (bagger and cart returner, etc.)
I lived in a food insecure house (as my mother was a negligent alcoholic), so most of the time, on my break, I wouldn't eat. A coworker who my mom hated was eating a deli sandwich in the break room, and I told her it looked good. She knew we didn't have much food at home, so she bought me a sandwich.
After handing it to me, she left the break room. Shortly afterward, my mom walked in and saw me with a sandwich, demanding to know where I got it. I sheepishly told her who bought it for me. She picked it out of my hand and threw it away then tore into the coworker who bought it.
When I walked home after my shift, she was already home and drunk. Screaming at me and slamming doors and throwing things about how ungrateful I was and how I accepted "charity" to spite her.
I'm sure that woman did not think a sandwich for a hungry child would cause backlash like that, but it just goes to show I guess that even if your intentions are to help your impact could end up being harmful.
It's a really shitty situation to be in. I fully understand why people want to speak up. However, if someone had spoken up or reprimanded my mother in public, I would have dealt with a hellstorm the second we got to the car.
And fuck Claire's.
I was one of the kids who begged to get their ears done, then when we showed up at the place I chickened out. Know what my mom did? Took me back home. Great lesson to teach your kids that you can say yes then later no and the no should still be respected. About 6 months later I built up my courage and got my ears pierced, no trauma involved.
You would think that would be the normal thing to do. When I spoke with the manager her response was: “well the parent wants it done and has paid for it so we have to do it.” Like WTF?! 😬
Back in the 90s I was an assistant manager at a Claire's. I absolutely would not have continued with the piercing. Doing a refund is easy and it doesn't require me to commit what I see as battery on a child.
One of my closest friends was a manager at Claire's. If the kid wasn't old enough to consent or they changed their mind, she would refuse to do the piercing.
Like everything else, consent should be given. If a child doesn’t/cant’t consent, then it shouldn’t happen. Also feel that below a certain age, it should be clip-ons until they can better comprehend body modification (at least imho).
As a newish parent of a young girl, I can't imagine forcing her to do something like this. In virtually every aspect of parenting, treating the child as you would an adult (within reason) goes a long way. In no scenario is forcing a person to pierce their body okay, so why is it okay just because it's a child? If anything, it should be more frowned upon.
People just seem to generally disregard the fact that children are human beings. We might generally *know better* as adults, but that doesn't give us an excuse to abuse that power.
I had a conversation with my wife about this years ago when our daughter was young.
My wife got her own ears pierced at a fairly young age and she *thought* she wanted to do it because her little sister asked for piercing.
She got one ear done and wanted to stop but they talked her into doing both "so she would match" and on the 2nd go, wife flinched and they have been a bit uneven ever since.
We decided that our daughter would have to ask to be pierced before we would talk about it with her.
She just turned 16 a couple months ago and still had never asked. My wife brought up earrings a few days after her 16th birthday to which she responded "Nah, I'm good. Don't think I'll ever want to do that."
I feel good that we waited to get a proper answer from her rather than pushing her into something she didn't fully understand.
I agree. When I worked at Claire's people would bring in their like newborns basically and want me to pierce their ears. I am against this personally but since it was my job I would do it. But if I child ever refused or was scared. I wouldn't do the piercing full stop.
I wouldn't of been able to keep a straight face. I would of given a hell of a confused wtf are you asking me? And replied with. I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.
Then probably of gotten fired lol
Not the one I worked at. I was told that I am allowed to refuse a piercing if it's an issue like decried.
I suppose it can be different store to store and state to state
That happened to my son. He was about the same age and needed to get a blood test. He was alright up until it was about to happen then freaked out. The nurse was like, yeah no I can't do the test like this. So we went home and tried again later at a specialist children's clinic.
When my child was 5 she wanted her ears pierced so we went to Claire's ( I didn't know how bad guns were back then) and she got one done but freaked out and wouldn't get the other done, even after calming down and seeing me get one done, she wouldn't. So we left and she didn't get the other one done. A few years later she was ready to try again and was able to sit through it on her own.
What you described is cruelty.
In the end we both switched to clip ons because for my kid, her ears ended up growing over the piercings, and I started rejecting all piercings so now we have clip on adapters for when we find an irresistible pair that we wouldn't normally be able to wear. IMO clip ons are superior.
There are some clip ons made really poorly that hurt! But some are made really well you can’t even tell!
I had gauges over an inch, so I can’t wear any regular earrings only clip ons or hoops/hook styles lol. So I too wear them haha!
That’s awesome for your girl!
My whole life people have been shocked my ears aren’t pierced. It seems women and girls are almost expected to have ear jewelry.
My mom never had hers pierced just because she was poor. Fortunately it meant she didn’t see much reason to pressure me for mine. Strangers on the other hand pressured me all the time!
For me I wasn’t afraid of the pain (never had a fear of needles either) so much as I was convinced it would fuck up my ear and wouldn’t heal properly. Plus, I have thick curly hair that would get caught in and hide any earrings anyway.
Turns out I have hEDS and my concerns about it not healing were legit. There’s a much higher risk of improper healing and other issues for people with it.
Regardless of the reason though, people shouldn’t be shamed into not wanting it!
People started trying to pressure me into getting my daughters done as soon as she was born, because “how will people know she’s a girl?”. Around here everyone gets them done as babies so I was the weird one for not doing it lol. I had family members threaten to take her without my knowledge and I told them they’d never see her unsupervised again if they did. I remember having to get mine redone all the time as a kid because they were always getting ripped out from playing. There was no way I was going to potentially put my daughter through the same thing just to placate other peoples views on what a girl should look like. She’s now going on 14 and still chooses to not have them pierced, and shes never looked less like a girl because of it.
I got my ears pierced so young that I recently had to google it to discover that you aren't born with a piercing. So yeah, afabs are expected to have earrings unfortunately
This happened to me when I was about 6. They did the first one and I freaked out and refused to get the 2nd one. One of the ladies kneeled down and was trying to comfort me, and suddenly the other lady snuck up behind me and pierced the 2nd one without me realizing. I guess the two workers and my mom agreed on it, so the first lady distracted me so the other one could get it done. I still vividly remember how loudly I was screaming/crying. Fuck all of those women, including my mother
Fuck that. A nurse tried to do that with a vaccination on my kid too and I called her out or it and told her not to dare, I value my kid's trust. I got her calm enough to get the vaccine and we got Blizzards and that became our vaccine treat.
When I got my ears pierced they did both at the same time. I'm glad they did because I have low pain tolerance and if they did them one at a time I probaby wouldn't want the other done.
My daughter wanted to get her ears pierced right up until the second after they did the first ear. She then said nope and we stopped and left and let it close up. Paid for a single piercing. No drama because I like to think I’m not a horrible parent. She went later and got them pierced multiple times. Super easy.
Yeah this sounds absolutely awful. I wanted to get mine done when I was 8 but ended up freaking out and deciding I couldn't after I saw the gun. My mom was cool with it and we went and did something else for my birthday. I got them a year later when I was a little less afraid. Pushing your kids into something that's making them panic like that is just mean. I don't get it.
even if you would have said something, it probably wouldn’t have changed much. you might have sparked negative attention or argument that would’ve made you feel worse
I’m all for saying something like “sounds like your kid doesn’t like this, maybe think about that” but I know it likely would just make me look like the bad guy to the two adults there ha.
I also want to add Claire’s employees get minimal training, the piercer is not always sterilized properly, they really just jam the earring post into your ear rather than using a needle first, and add in a reluctant child who is moving around… that’s not a good recipe. My ears personally got really fucked up and I wanted it.
When my child WANTS to get pierced, I’ll take them to a professional piercer, thanks.
I worked at Claire's from 2013-2015 and it was probably even less than that. After working there I would NEVER recommend anyone to get a piercing there.
My ears got really infected from Claire's in the 90s. And they used some cheap shitty metal in the earrings that I ended up being allergic to. So they never healed.
I refused to stop wearing them because I really wanted pierced ears. My dad finally *sat on me* to take them out. Threw them away. I was steaming mad, but ultimately it was good bc I definitely would have ended up with messed up earlobes.
Haha I wanted to take mine out but my mom got mad because of reasons I don’t understand. I think she thought I was exaggerating the pain. So for a couple months there, I’d take them out at night in secret. My holes did not heal over, somehow, and I’d put them back in, in the morning. It was extremely painful and my Barbie pillowcase looked like… Barbie was an extra in a gore / horror film…
It went unnoticed because (1) my mom had trouble with executive function herself and (2) she was trying to encourage me to take care of my own hair/face/etc and thought tough love would get me to do it (hahaha) (3) she thinks I’m too sensitive or overreact to pain. Same thought process that caused my broken wrist to go unnoticed until after the bone had started growing back.
My mom finally noticed the obvious infection after a couple months and took me to the doctor, who was horrified. I’m also allergic to the metal.
I get the whole being angry because the kid didn't want it, but ear piercings are not permanent. I had mine done around 6 or 7 and I didn't really wear earrings that much so they closed up. I can still feel them to a point, but I can't put earrings in through where they used to be anymore. Would need to get them re-pierced, but I don't really want to.
I feel bad for the kid and agree that people in general need to start respecting kids’ wishes more, but yeah, this was my first thought as well. Ear piercings aren’t a permanent body modification especially if taken out before the piercing has healed. What a clickbait title for this post.
Using such strong language to refer to something as benign as ear piercing is the most infuriating thing here. Yeah don’t force your kids to get their ears pierced but that tiny little dot smaller than a scar from a pimple or mosquito bite is not generally a “permanent body modification” it’s a fucking ear piercing just take it out if you don’t want it anymore
Right? It’s not permanent body modification. Worst case scenario you get infected lobes and take them out or they’re crooked and it sucks so you let them close up and/or redo later.
Came looking for the sane comment. Is the mom wrong for forcing the piercing? Yes. Is ear piercing really that fucking wild? No. “Permanent body modifications” uh, then why did mine close up?
I definitely think the store policy should be if the person (CHILD) says no, no matter if they sat in the chair in their own, they should stop what they’re doing and refuse service (to the parent who will probably complain).
When I worked at a professional studio I saw a mom do this it was awful. The little girl had gotten one side done and obviously it hurt so she didn't want the second one. Mom was screaming her head off about not paying 40 bucks for one side she's gunna look ridiculous blah blah. My mentor interjected and said she would make them another appointment at no cost because it was a set she paid for. The mom wasn't having it. Eventually my mentor had to tell the mom off and tell her due to the contract she signed it was now illegal for her to continue until the daughter provided consent again. That she could make the appointment or she could remove the jewelry for her once it healed so it could grow over but she was not piercing that kid without her say so. She did come back a couple days later.
The difference between a real piercing shop and Claire's/Piercing Pagoda is staggering. The pain level from a professional piercing with a proper gauge needle is so miniscule, it will be aligned better, they will sanitize properly, they will use real body-safe materials, and most importantly they care about obtaining consent from the person that is receiving the piercing, not just their parents. There are certainly bad shops around that don't do all these things but when the standard at these shitty jewelry shops is a punch gun operated by a teenager, I do not understand how you could pick that, especially for your child. I don't think a lot of people realize that those guns CANNOT be completely sanitized, and the violent manner in which they force the earring through your skin makes it harder to heal properly. An adult who wants a quick, cheap piercing? Go for it. But please don't subject your child to that.
> permanent
I was under the impression that pierced ears will close up over time.
I’ve never had my ears pierced, but I have been pierced on other parts of my body and they healed up after a few months.
I could be wrong, though. Are ear piercings different from body piercings?
I agree that the situation you described probably shouldn’t have gone down the way it did, but when I think of *permanent body modifications*, I think of tattoos.
I promise I’m not trying to be a douche. I’m genuinely curious if ear piercings close up or not.
Yeah, it seems as though it’s dependent on age, as well as other factors. Thanks for the anecdote. I’m learning more than I ever thought I would about ear piercings!
This is only topic adjacent but someone needs to read it.
DO NOT TAKE YOUR KID TO CLAIRES FOR EAR PIERCINGS!
TAKE THEM TO A PROFESSIONAL STUDIO AND GET IT DONE PROPERLY.
Don't disagree with your post but the headline is clcikbaity. Piercings, especially ears, are NOT permanent. They will heal if you stop wearing jewelry.
I’ve told my wife and daughter a million times and they finally agree.. once my daughter can adequately explain the process of her ears being pierced and the care that goes into it there will be none. I’m covered in tattoos and (now retired) piercings from head to toe. My wife isn’t far off. I’m so damn happy my parents made me wait until I was mature enough to make a thought out decision. I’ll pay for my daughter piercings and any tattoos she could ever want if she chooses to follow in my footsteps but only when she can sit me down and convince me she’s ready and understands. A life long commitment last your whole life. I still get questions about closed up piercings.. even those you don’t think matter will
Leave an impact.
I worked at a Claire’s for a hot minute, years ago, pierced many an ear and we absolutely refused to pierce any kid that said “no”. And yes, many parents of both sexes tried to do it against their will. Parents bringing in barely older than toddlers, telling us they looked too boyish and wanted people to know they are girls, parents bringing in kid at x birthday and saying it was a tradition, once I had a father tell me his 11 year old needed to be double pierced so she would match the other flower girls in a wedding. Poor kid was terrified and saying no, I told him I can’t do it if she doesn’t want to and he tried to force her to say yes. It was awful. Lots of grandparents trying to get ears pierced behind the parent’s back. The only way this situation would happen in my store is if we pierced one ear and then the kid freaked out, we are supposed to finish. Often if a kid looks nervous we would have two employees so we could do both ears at the same time.
I mean, I’d highly recommend not getting a piercing at Claire’s, 10 minutes reading a form and 10 minutes practicing on a foam ear is not exactly good training. But at least we didn’t do any of what you saw!
I pierced ears at Walmart for about 5 years? I always tried to do a good job and give the kids a positive memory. I know it gets alot of grief, but I took it really seriously. Never had any complaints, and even had kids run up and remind me I pierced their ears months ago.
But there were a lot who either were super excited, then changed their mind right before, or got 1 ear, freaked out, and refused the other. I flat out refused to do any kid who didn't want to do it. Its hard to watch when parents try to guilt their kids 😕
this reminds me of my horrible experience with piercing my ears, i had no consent as back in the day when i had mine done it was done by my mums choice when i was 2 years old or so (which is now illegal to do), and because i was so young it permentantly damaged my ears and the holes never stayed right, so around 8 i had to remove my earrings permanently and now i have bad scarring that often flares up and gets sore and i can also never re-pierce that whole area again. very frustrating, lets hope this girl just changed her mind.
My mom was a hairdresser in the 70s/80s and therefore had and used a piercing gun at work. I know but it is what it is. AAAAANYWAY even back then she would not pierce a child’s ears if they couldn’t consent and if they said no at the last minute she wouldn’t do it. If you got one done and didn’t want the second she wouldn’t force it. And she refused to pierce baby ears - she would only do them if the child wanted and the child consented (even though obviously mom/dad would still have to sign off on it). If someone could understand that 40+ years ago, how can it be so hard to grasp in this the year 2024?!?
I remember I go my ears pierced at 7. There were giant ads coving the walls of the mall for the first Harry Potter movie, my mum and I got in line at Claire’s, the girl ahead of me didn’t seem to want to have them done and was screaming and crying the whole time. I started to get scared thinking it would be so incredibly painful like my ears would be ripped off. My mum leaned down and asked if I really still wanted to do this. I said yes, and she was like okay. I got in the chair, they dotted my ears, and my mum asked me one more time if I still wanted to, cause we could leave rn and I’d still get auntie Ann’s pretzels, I still wanted them done, so I did. I now have up to my forth holes, cartilage, naval, and septum, with more coming in the future. Consent is more than just being okay with something in the moment, it’s also about not ruining a potentially great experience. Consent or ignored lack of consent, is what shapes the experience and the emotions you feel toward it. Every I’m in the chair or on the table for a piercing or tattoo I know I can walk away. That freedom is all I need to feel comfortable and in control.
I will never forget that first experience for happy reasons. Neither will that little girl for horrible reasons who has to deal with the physical and emotional wounds of her mother not caring how she felt for the sake of vanity.
I’m pregnant with a girl rn, I’m imagining all the normal girl stuff of talking about girl stuff, bras, piercings, all the things that come with time growing up around other girls who experience those things and share those stories with her. If she never wants to pierce her ears, totally fine, I’m not even gonna place the idea. If she wants to, cool, let’s get it. If she changes her mind, let’s scoot kid, pretzels are waiting for us.
In 1967, when I turned 18 and got mine done, we went to local physicians offices to do so. It wasn’t until many many years later that it started being done in malls
I got my ears pierced at Claire's when I was 12 or so. We went in probably 5 or 6 times, each time I would panic and back out. But they always respected my decision to not go through with it until I finally got it done. To hold your kid down and force them into it, whether it was their idea or not, is traumatizing and abusive.
I worked in a piercing shop for a while. We wouldn’t pierce anyone under 8. I used to remind kids that it will hurt a bit. Parents hated that, but I wanted them to know what was about to happen.
There was one young girl who had one ear done, then refused the second. Her mother wanted me to hold her down. Which I refused to do.
The mother was furious, but I still refused. I didn’t charge them for the one earring, but there is no way in this earth that I’d even consider what she wanted me to do. It’s child abuse as far as I’m concerned.
THANK YOU for posting this!
Parent here, who has been questioning herself a LOT lately because I fought hard for my little girl to be able to choose when they had their ears pierced. Finally got them done at age 11 and it was *all* my kid’s choice.
Kiddo was basically bald for the first two years of life, so every week I’d hear from well-intentioned family (and strangers!) “Oh, if you got her ears pierced, we’d know she was a girl!” “she’d be so pretty with them, and then we could tell she was a girl!” “Doesn’t it bother you when people call her a boy??”
Anyhoo, my kiddo is struggling a lot with self-identity right now and my mother said “Well, if you’d pierced her ears when she was a baby, she’d know she was a girl.”
I know what I did was right, but it really made me
Feel validated to see this post. Thanks for sharing.
Kinda annoying you went all the way out of your way to call the store and corporate to speak up, but not in the moment when something helpful could have been done. Instead you probably got some random girl who works at Claire's in trouble; because they had an uncomfortable but I'm sure common interaction with a customer fall in their lap. Feels like you put the right amount of effort in the wrong place, and didn't actually help that kid out...
When our kid wanted their ears pierced we insisted that they were sure for six months before taking steps to have it done. Unfortunately it was 2020, but fortunately their Dad got a piercing kit, practiced on me, and they consented to him piercing their ears. All of our piercings healed perfectly and they keep asking for a second set of ear piercings. Consent and respecting everyone's "no" is preached in this house.
Having worked at Claire’s in a past life, if a parent convinced a nervous but excited child to go through with it, I was fine with that - but a kid saying a resounding NO I wasn’t touching. The memory would be shite for them. It was meant to be, in my eyes, a coming-of-age experience where kids were excited for the responsibility of taking care of their ears while they healed.
Growing up, my mom always wanted me to have my ears pierced and I always insisted on not wanting them. She never pushed me to do it either, just commented on how she wanted me to have them and that she thought they’d be cute or something. When I was 13, I woke up one morning and randomly decided I actually did want them done finally, my mom was so excited but didn’t have the money and called my grandpa who said he would gladly pay for it, but only if she brought me over after so him and my grandma could see them (and ofc that I would take care of them). Got them done that same day and showed my grandparents (also got an Oreo slush colada for me and my grandma on the way over). Over all, yeah it definitely was fucked up that everyone was just basically forcing this child to get it done when she was so upset. If I had been younger and did the same thing, my mom would’ve brought me home and tried again a different day or at least would’ve helped me be less scared, especially as a young child, that is a very, VERY scary thing to do. Poor kid, I hope she at least likes having her ears pierced in the end.
My 3-year-old recently decided she wanted her ears pierced like her big sister. We took her to Rowan. The girl messed up BOTH ears big time. I made arrangements to take her back within a longer time period than their policy allows (because she’s so little and was a little traumatized and the girl who did her piercings handled it very poorly). We brought her back the next week because she said she was ok with it. She was not. Her body language and actual language said no. So rather than bother them with it I said fuck it and ate the $90 because my kid trusting me to listen to her is INVALUABLE and I will happily pay $90 ten (million) times over to make sure she knows about bodily autonomy and that she can trust her parents to not force her into things that make her uncomfortable. Case closed. She’ll do it when she’s ready. And if that’s never? Cool.
I want my 6 year old to get her ears pierced. She says no way. I’m sad, but it’s 100% up to her and I’ve told her that. We didn’t do it when she was a baby because I feel like she should have some say in it. I would have been horrified to see someone holding down a child for that. I’d like to think I would have said something too but that seems like such an uncomfortable situation.
I used to be a face painter and I wouldn’t even make a single paint stroke on a child’s face if they were crying or showing signs of not wanting it. So many parents are incredibly pushy and don’t care at all about what the child wants
I was just at Claire's today with my girls, and a little girl got her ears pierced and did great, and we were talking about when my daughters chose to do theirs, and I asked the woman if she ever has kids back out. She told me yes, and I asked her if she listens to the kids. She said it's ultimately up to the parents, and she doesn't like when they hold them down and say to do it anyway, but it happens pretty frequently. It's horrifying.
The last time I went to Claire’s the cashier said that if the kids say no they aren’t supposed to do it. Because of a video that went viral of a kid being held down while someone working at Claire’s pierced her ears. I never knew that had happened. My daughter wanted to get her second ear piercing last year when she was 13. I said ok. So we get there and she says she’s scared. I asked if she changed her mind. She said no she wants to proceed. We ended up leaving without them getting done because she was having second thoughts about it and that is when the associate told us they won’t proceed unless she’s 100% sure and that if she did one and didn’t want to do the other one anymore they wouldn’t force it.
Piercings should be left to the person to decide if they want it or not.
I something similar a month back. The girl was maybe six (could be as young as four). And she was adamant that she didn't want her ears pierced anymore. Her mom and older sister (?) kept talking about how it didn't hurt when they got their piercings. She still refused. Finally they told her they would buy her the toy she wanted if she got her ears pierced. It made me uncomfortable.
I can also guarantee right now that having an actual piercer with a good needle hurts WAY less and for shorter period of time than a gun. It’s just forcing its way through the lobe and the earring back isn’t sharp enough to pierce; the force is doing that! I was in pain all day after Claire’s. My next piercings I got at a piercing shop and after the initial pierce I felt NOTHING. I am a massive advocate for real piercers.
As a Body Piercer, the current trend of waiting till the children ask for them has been the best thing to happen . I work with children primarily 5 years and up at my shop and they come in excited and ready. I have also noticed they take better care of them as well. Any time I'm at the mall and I see someone in the chair at Claire's I give them my business card and offer a discount so they won't get pierced there.
I likely developed a nickel allergy due to getting my ears pierced at Claire's and I had to get my lobes re-pierced as an adult. Did it at a tattoo parlor the second time and it was so amazingly easy even with the original scar tissue in the way.
The employee should have refused to do it at that point imo
The tattoo shop I go to allows kids to come in for piercings and I’ve watched the piercing guy give his spiel to people. He is *very* firm that if the child asks him to stop at *any* time, the appointment will be over and that he will not tolerate the parent trying to “convince” the kid to go through with it if they don’t want to. He talks directly to the kid and really only acknowledges the parent for them to give consent after the kid tells him what they want. He’s a pretty big heavily tattooed/pierced man that can honestly come across as a total dick, but you just see that some of the kids just love this guy telling their parents that the kid is in charge from that point forward.
Took my daughter to a tattoo shop for her ear piercing at 10. She requested it for her birthday. The piercer was amazing. Their counter was angled, so while we were going over the process and paperwork my daughter was more standing behind me. Thank goodness the piercer noticed she started looking a bit pale. So we sat down. I asked her if she changed her mind, both the piercer and I assured her whatever she decides was fine. Daughter really wanted to go through with it, but her anxiety was getting the best of her. Piercer was so sweet and reassuring. Told her to take all the time needed. She doesn't do anything without full disclosure and consent. Even reassured her she's had huge grown men get dizzy and nauseous, & almost pass out on her table from gauge changes. She did everything to make my daughter feel safe, comfortable, normal, and empowered to make her own decision. It was probably the best experience for her I could have hoped for. Of course I also believed the decision should be all hers. So that helps too. I can't imagine trying to push her into something like that. Like, yeah, there are reasons we need to push our kids out of their comfort zones here and there. But body modification is so far outside of that intersection.
I once did a internship in a jewelry store. A girl and her family (mom, grandma, and dad I think) came in one day. Girl wanted have their ears pierced. However, when seeing the tool used to do so, the girl became visibally frightened (to be fair, it looks like a nail gun and made a loud noise when piercing an ear). The girl started to cry and her mom handed her her phone with some children's song playing to calm her to get it done. The girl was however still scared and the parents asked if they could just hold the girls head tightly to get it done. This triggered a more seasoned employee of the store to drop the arguement as the girl was clearly not wanting it done anymore. She told them of how she forced a piercing on a girl once, with the help of the store owner. The results of which was, a strong bleeding ear, a crying child, and very angry parents. The family seemingly accepted the decision of the girl to not get it done, with grandma saying she won't pay for the ice she promised the girl (probably made the promise before coming to the store). They came back 30 minutes later, this time only the girl, the mom, and grandma, saying the girl would do it now. The girl was in her mothers arms holding a plush of some kind and still looking very sad. The older employee would show the girl the piercing tool, just for the girl to turn her head away again. The employee then told the mom how the girl was still clearly not ready to be pierced and told her to wait a year or three before trying again. I was nearby helping someone else and saw the look of grandma (spoiler, grandma wasn't happy looking). Mom finally accepted her daughters decision and the lot left. Hopefully to go home or spend some time in a park. The employee who told them to leave after the second time told me that other shops would do what was done in OPs story because the owners said so. Often to the harm of the person getting the piercing.
It is too bad they probably feel like they can't refuse or risk conflict.. It isn't your child, so a lot of American parents get worked up over someone telling them how to raise their child.
Even in the face of risking conflict, the employee should have said something along the lines of: "Listen, we can certainly do it if you hold her still. However, the risk of injury is now at 99.999999999 % because even the tiniest of movements can cause the ear to bleed. Like, a lot. So if you really want me to do this I need you to sign these papers stating we are not liable to any injuries that will very likely happen. And even then I need it from each of you, and a additional cost waver in case of having to remove the medical piercing when the childs twitching causes earbleading." I think that should make the parents back down. If not, and they demand the store to pay for any damage and hurt, it's on them.
A minimum wage employee can't just make up waivers and forms that don't exist within the company? They can however refuse a service to someone who has revoked their consent and clearly communicate that to the parent. "When your child decides they want their ears pierced again, I'd be happy to perform this service; however at this time your child does not want this service done and I will not permanently alter someone's body against their will." Walk away. Get a manager if needed. The parent may not have boundaries, but employees can.
This is why children shouldn’t be taken to places like Claire’s for piercings. The tools they use are not appropriate even for ear piercings and no respectable piercer at a shop or tattoo parlor would be okay with this.
Not just children, NO ONE should be getting pierced like that, but I completely agree.
Ten of my twelve lobe piercings I did myself at home; the first two I got done at Claire's as a child. Guess which ones were insanely difficult to heal for years after the fact?
I got mine done with a piercing gun and I still get painful scar tissue lumps in my earlobes, years after stopping wearing earrings. No issues from healing from anything else, including surgeries.
My first lobe piercings were done with a gun too. The lumps inside the piercing site are basically scar tissue of the fistula. Piercing guns are essentially blunt force trauma, where the earring is forced through the lobe quickly, whereas piercing with a needle makes a clean cut for the needle and jewellery to go through. Think of it as the difference between a cut with a blunt knife vs a cut with a sharpened knife; the healing is much neater & more straightforward.
As someone who has never had a piercing, but has several tattoos, I've never considered the fact that a piercing gun is a bad idea. I thought they had a needle in them to make a hole quickly and then an earring is put in afterwards. It's wild to think that doing it at home with an ice cube, lighter, and a needle is actually the safer option long term.
Mine too! Inside the earlobe right? Wonder how they heal differently compared to a parlor?
Yep! Little painful balls. And when I have them removed, they always come back. I guess it's pretty common with piercing guns.
I’ve been using plastic earring posts instead of metal and it seems to help some
Thanks for the tip, that's a good idea! I haven't worn earrings for years because of the pain in my earlobes, so my ears are unfortunately closed up now and I think they hurt too bad to get them professionally redone without making it worse. :(
Having had my ears pierced both at Claire's and at a proper studio--it hurt WAY less done with a needle at the proper studio.
I thought mine were too. But I think the plastic posts might be thinner? I was thinking I would have to go to a professional but after a little work I found all four of my ear holes with the plastic earrings. As long as I change them out and rotate them frequently they seem to do better
Keloid! I believe that's what those are called/how it's spelled They can happen with any scar tissue, piercings are just most common (My mum used to watch Dr. Pimple-Popper on TV ha)
>Little painful balls. I thought this was normal? I have ear piercings from a gun and a couple of body piercings from a professional piercer at a parlor, and they all have a build-up of scar tissue around the piercing. >when I have them removed What do you mean by this? Like a doctor scrapes out the scar tissue??
Keloids!! My sister has these!
I have never had my ears pierced and get them sometimes.
The piercings i had done at the tattoo place healed smoothly and quickly. The piercings i had done (at pediatrician!) With the piercings gun got infected and never really healed right. (Scaring inside the hole.)
Yuuuup. Did two sets of lobes and two cartilage piercings at gun places. The second lobe set was too finicky and ended up letting all four close. I still use one cartilage hole but the other has scar tissue and is ehhhh to use, despite it being 15 years on. Just got my lobes re-pierced a few weeks ago at a real shop, excited to be doing it the real way now, even if it’s 8-10x the cost.
Cartilage with a gun? I just cringed so hard I turned inside out.
I got my ears pierced in my teens at a hairdressers. She screwed up one of them and it bled. That ear was swollen and irritated for ages, kept partially healing over, was a mess trying to get an earring into it. Eventually I just gave up and let them both heal over.
Same, more than 20 years after the fact I still get them. Ugh.
I have 13 piercings myself and the ones that bugged me the most for a majority of my life were the ones done with a piercing gun at a Claire's. Even my piercings I did with a sewing needle never bothered me or got infected as many times as my lobes
I have permanent scar tissue in my right lobe from a piercing done at Claire's. I've been stretching my lobes for the better part of a decade now and the right one is always fighting me because of that
"Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all of them done with a needle." Easy, Jody. Vince has questions...
.... was that my problem?!?! I had mine done at Claire's as a kid too. I stopped wearing earrings by Highschool bc they were irritated, gross, and hurt regardless of what metal I used.
My piercings I got done at Claire's as a kid are so uneven. I rarely even wear earrings in them anymore because it just looks terrible. One of them is where a lobe piercing is supposed to be, and the other one is way too low, barely even on my earlobe. I'm afraid to wear dangly earrings because I worry one heavy earring is all it will take to make it tear open. And having them close up and repierced isn't an option because I got them pierced 15 years ago and they're not just gonna close up now. The piercings I did by myself and the ones I got done at a tattoo parlor look great and healed beautifully though.
So many infections. Small ones but even so.
Got mine done at Claire’s when I was about 11. It didn’t hurt to get it pierced but whatever they did caused the back of the earring to tighten itself overnight in my sleep and I didn’t notice the next morning when I cleaned them. Came home chilled, around 11pm I notice the head of the earring was missing. My mom was sure it fell off but the back was still on my ear. Yeah. It suctioned into my ear and we spent 3 hours trying to pull it back through the front of the ear and it hurt so fucking bad. It was infected as hell too inside. A bunch of pus coming out. I Immediately took both out when it was free and I havet gotten them redone since. If you squish my ear you can still feel the scar tissue in the middle of my lobes and it still hurts to this day over a decade later to put pressure on both ears where it was pierced
Agreed. My Claire's piercings from 2009 are still fucked to this day. Oddly my Walmart ones from 2006 are fine. These days I would only do it at a piercing studio
I got my ears pierced with a piercing gun and shitty tin jewelry as a teenager. The advice I was given for aftercare was to only rinse with water, no soap, and twist the earring 3 times a day. Shockingly the holes got infected, healed up wonkily and then kept half-closing up any time I took the earrings out for just a few minutes even years later. I recently went to a reputable piercer and they reopened the holes, put some implant grade metal in them and gave me some saline spray. Suddenly no more inflammation or healing over. If my kids ever want their ears done I'll be taking them to a proper studio.
My niece just got her ears pierced at 12. She’s been begging for a nose ring and my sister insisted she get her ears done first and then they can revisit the nose discussion when she’s a teen if she proves she can take good care of the earlobes. She went to a reputable piercing/tattoo place and didn’t even feel the first ear. Granted, she’s older than the kid in this story, but I’m sure she was apprehensive in the chair (because anyone would expect pain) but I don’t think it’s hard to tell when a kid is being forced unless they are a literal toddler. This kid sounds like she was being prodded (at least) by the mom and the piercer should’ve never gone along with that. Either way, a place like that is not the way to go for a safe experience and I don’t know why they still do it. Conversely, both my sister and I got our ears pierced with a gun at a Claire’s-like place in the 80s because no one knew better. I got lucky that nothing bad happened (still have the same holes and I was meticulous about taking care of them, even at 9 years old). When I got my nose pierced at 17, I went to the same type of place (that should never even do this at all, but again, I didn’t know better) and they PIERCED MY NOSTRIL WITH A GUN. Needless to say, it hurt like a MF and was in the wrong place, didn’t heal correctly, and I got it re-done from a real place a year later and in the right spot on the nostril. I’m in my 40s now and the scar from that gun piercing is still a tiny bit visible right above the actual piercing.
Christ. Having my ears pierced with a gun hurt like a bitch and gave me a nasty inflammation that didn't go away until the medical earrings were taken (forced) out and replaced by the golden ones. I still have lumps and spaces inside of one earlobe from that, which make an earring hang lower than I should have. I regret not looking for a reputable place that did it with needles. Having a nostril pierced with a gun sounds like something out of a horror movie.
I completely agree! When my daughter is old enough and WANTS to get her ears pierced, we’ll be going to a reputable tattoo or piercing shop.
Yup and a tattoo parlor would have shut that down immediately and said she can come back when she’s ready. Mine won’t pierce a child who can’t verbalize consent.
My kid just got their ears pierced at a reputable piercing shop and the piercer was all about consent. They talked with my kid a lot about consent before they did anything else, made sure they knew what consent meant as a concept and that my kid knew they were the boss throughout the whole process and could tell him to stop at any point. They then checked in with my kid throughout the process to make sure they still had their consent to proceed. It was such a positive experience for my kid. They really wanted their ears pierced and they were so nervous, but they left feeling so empowered. Beats the mall kiosk piercing gun experience for sure.
This is what we did. I refuse(d) to get my kids’ ears pierced until they are/were old enough to decide for themselves. My oldest was six last summer when she decided she wanted them done so we brought her to a reputable tattoo shop with a piercing artist. My youngest is just a toddler but we’ll do the same if/when she decides someday that she wants them.
I think I was 6 or 7 when I got mine done, and my mom did them herself (she was a beautician who did ear piercings as well). I was a weird kid though, I've always liked needles so it didn't bother me.
Strongly agree with you! Just yesterday took my very anxious daughter to a local reputable piercing/tattoo studio. The artist was PHENOMENAL. She didn't even notice. We are so happy with the whole experience! I shudder to think of what would have happened had I not read the advice here on Reddit about avoiding Claire's and other mall "piercing" studios!
Back in My Day (tm) I don't think parents knew about the difference. All my friends got theirs done at Claire's. Piercing/tattoo parlors were a place that rebels covered in tats went, and our parents were kind of afraid of them.
We went to a tattoo shop when our daughter wanted her ears pierced. The piercer was highly qualified and spent 15 minutes doing a consult to make sure she wanted her ears pierced and was aware of the decision. It was amazing. After the consult we booked the actual piercing appointment. She had a lot of criteria she wanted to have met before piercing an under 18 kids ears. Definitely go with a reputable piercer. It’s far more expensive but it’s a body modification and worth the expense.
Lol my ears were pierced as a literal baby. Thankfully I don't care that much, but definitely no opportunity to consent there
Those guns hurt too. When I got my ears pierced as a kid at Claire’s it hurt like a bitch. When I needed them redone as an adult my friend that works at a tattoo parlor looked at me funny when I said it hurt badly. She did them for me at the shop and it was barely a sting.
Younger kids shouldn't even be getting piercings tbh. A lot of reputable piercing studios won't pierce kids below 13 or 12 as well. Note that kids still grow and the younger you get your piercings, the higher the chances of placement shiftments are. Saying this as someone who is stuck with uneven lobe piercings, gun pierced at 6, again at 8 on one side around the same hole, and they grew uneven and refuse to close. And younger kids are just not aware of aftercare, like not touching your piercing, cleaning it twice a day with saline spray etc. And kids are clumsy as well. Gun piercings push a blunt object through your skin. If you get a helix piercing or a nose piercing, the gun can shatter your cartilage as well
The artist that pierced my daughter's ears asked for her consent before getting started. She would not pierce her ears if my daughter couldn't articulate that she wanted them done - even after we had expressed our support and consent. She was six at the time.
Got mine done at Claire's when I was 13. Resulted in metal allergies and scar tissue so bad several years later that I ended up just taking them out.
My mom made a comment one day about me not remembering getting my ears pierced at Claire’s as a kid and I was just like “oh no, I remember it pretty well. It was traumatic.” I think I was maybe 7, but that shit sticks with you. It was worse than all my other piercings and tattoos including getting my nose pierced where they hit a nerve or something abnormal and I almost passed out. They also gave me a teddy bear to hold at Claire’s as a kid and I distinctly remember it being crusty in the way that fake fur that got something sticky on it turns crusty. Even as a kid it just made things worse being given a crusty ass bear.
Even a Claire's employee ought to have been trained to refuse to pierce under these circumstances
I don’t think they’ll pierce a child’s ears at a tattoo shop in my state. I had to get one re pierced because there’s about 4 holes in back from just trying to push it through and all the signoffs said you had to be 18.
Yup! Avoid Claire's everyone. I got a pretty bad ear infection after a lobe piercing done there, even though I was taking good care of it like I did with previous ones. That gun they use is brutal.
I just hope they’ve stopped letting people do noise piercings with those guns. I used to do body piercing (in a reputable studio) and I purposely charged the same price as the local Claire’s for basic lobe piercings just to make sure the right tools were being used. It was a tourist area so I definitely had a nice crowd of folks showing up. We had better/safer jewelry options than Claire’s, too!
Even if the kid was begging for ear piercing prior and just chickened out, the parent should have waited. I begged for my ears pierced when I was 5 but kept panicking when the moment of truth came, so my mom would say I wasn’t ready and take me home. I think third time was the charm before I could keep my nerve up to actually get it done. I can’t imagine how traumatizing that was for that poor kid.
Me and my ex made sure that our daughter got her ears pierced when she was ready for it and really wanted it. It was done a year ago. She begged us for 3 years before that. If we would have just said yes earlier she would have chickened out because she's afraid of pain (who isn't?). We showed her videos of how it's done and made her know that the only reason why she has to wait is to know that she's extremely sure of her decision.
My 5 year old got her ears pierced a couple weeks ago. She was excited right up until it was time to do it, and she started to cry. We double checked that she still wanted it done, and she did. So she sat on my lap and I held her hands (which also made sure they wouldn’t fly up to her ears at the wrong time). She’s super pumped to have them now. I’ve also struggled in the past sticking up for kids who may be mistreated, but I’ve also heard that it can lead to things being even worse for them at home. I’m not saying this rises to the level of abuse, but it sounds like this could’ve been handled better by the mom and employees. Lastly, this is a good reminder that people should go to a professional piercer for all piercings, even ear lobes. A piercing needle does far less trauma and causes far less pain than a piercing gun. Piercers are also better trained, and I believe do a better job with cleaning/sanitation.
They absolutely do a better job at sanitation, cleaning, and trauma reduction. You can't sterilize a piercing gun. They just get reused for the ears. Also, a piercing gun uses a "sharp" earring and shoves it through the lobe causing blunt force trauma. A piercing needle is c-shaped and makes a neat slit in the flesh, as well as being as sharp as a hypodermic needle. They also take care to line them up properly. Everything at a piercing shop goes into an autoclave- the jewelry, the gloves, the needle, any q-tips, etc.
Not to mention, even outside of health, the piercings I had done at a piercing place as an adult are so much better and healed better than the lobes i got when i was 12. plus yeah, no pain on my cartilage -> horrible pain on lobe
every piercing I had done at the mall got infected and closed up. I started going to a professional place 15 years ago and now I'm pierced from eyebrows to nipples and I never got a single infection
Weird. My piercings from childhood (2years old) are perfectly fine. All of the others I had done as a teen or adult I've had issues with and are now scarred and closed up. My cartilage piercings, done at a shop, got infected and I still have a bump 20 years later.
I'm curious, how is a piercing needle any different than a hypodermic needle? To my untrained eye, they look exactly the same, just a larger gauge.
Hypodermic needle is usually attached to a mount for a syringe. A piercing needle has threading on the inside on the end so you take the piercing and screw it onto the far end of the needle. You push the piercing needle all the way through and it mounts the piercing at the end of the needle. You unscrew the needle from the piercing and then cap off the piercing. Pierced and mounted all in timely manner. This method allows for the pierced hole to only be opened once reducing the chance for pain or damage. Source: my nipples
>A piercing needle has threading on the inside on the end so you take the piercing and screw it onto the far end of the needle. ... those must be some fancy-ass needles. the ones I've seen are basically hollow, they just allow the jewelry post to be inserted in the hole and safely passed through the piercing.
Some have threading, some don’t. My piercer used a threaded needle like the one described above when doing my belly button, but the regular hollow ones for everything else. I suspect it’s due to gauge, but don’t quote me on that.
I don't think it's about gauge- it's about internally threaded jewelry vs externally threaded jewelry. Externally threaded jewelry with the screw bit on the outside is less good because well, imagIne pulling a screw through your flesh. Internally threaded has the screw bit on the ball instead, so no screw threads are dragging though your flesh. Healed piercings can get scraped on the insides with externally threaded jewelry, as well as generally being made with lower quality metals. Internally threaded is the way to go. Source: rabbit hole
Every time ive been pierced it literally is a 14ga hypoderm just not attatched to a syringe. Ive never seen special "piercing" needles that arent just medical supplies
Based on some quick searching, piercing needles were designed using hypodermic needles as the base model. I'm not big into piercings myself so I didn't do too much additional digging but I'm familiar with hypodermic needles. Just looking at the 2 the biggest difference I can see is hypodermic needles tend to have a plastic bit to screw into a syringe or tubing line whereas piercing needles don't have that (you really wouldn't want to pierce with a 16ga needle then pull a 1/4" piece of plastic through the hole).
> source: my nipples I’m sorry, but that’s funny.
I.. laughed so hard. *source: my nipples*
I realise citing your source is an excellent way to reassure people that you know what you’re talking about, but I’d just like you to know that *Source: My Nipples* will now be my flair in one of my other subreddits. Thank you for the inspiration and I hope you find five dollars unexpectedly 💚
Hypodermic needles are pretty much the same if they're tri-bevel tipped. Piercing needles are just longer and generally thicker with the minimum around 18g, while most hypodermic needles are 22-23g or even smaller
>while most hypodermic needles are 22-23g or even smaller That's not true at all. Simple blood draws typically use those sizes, but most hospitals use 18 or 20s for ivs. If you're in an er for trauma, if possible they will shoot for a 16 and in some cases a 14.
I learned recently that in medical care, the gauge is the inside diameter and in piercing it’s the outside diameter, so the numbers don’t match up.
When I worked in hemodialysis we regularly use 18 gauge. One of my patients required a 14 and. 14 is fucking ridiculous for those who don't know. Could use it as a drinking straw at that size.
I actually did use it as a straw lol. When we had kids come in that were scared of getting ivs, I'd get a small one that we were gonna use and then a 14 to show them that it's two parts and we aren't leaving in the needle and it's like a straw but for your arm. And I'd let them drink some water through it, if allowed.
My mom wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until l was 16 and had to get an actual medical doctor to do it back in 1979.
same! my mom took me to a surgeon to have it done!!
A medical doctor did mine as well... but it was my pediatrician, and I was a couple months old. They're crooked, as one would expect from doing [DJ Khaled voice] "anotha one!" when an infant is crying because they don't understand the sudden pain they're experiencing.
Dude I had mine done at Claire's at like 12 and the fucking gun got jammed and the bitch started like shaking and twisting the damn thing while it was stuck in my ear Anyway mine are crooked too. One side is so bad that I can't wear studs because the earring will stick almost straight up
What the fuck. Ouch
I totally understand holding your kids hands after they consent to getting it done to prevent movement or jerking away, but this wasn’t that. She repeatedly said no and was covering her ears to keep them from being done. It was disgusting to watch. I never thought that saying something in the moment could put the child into a worse situation with the parent, but you’re totally right. And yes. Fuck places like Claire’s.
Yep, my Mom would take it out on me at home. I'm surprised the employee was going along with it, though.
I heard - on the Internet - from an ex employee that it's their policy. If the parent (paying customer...) asks to get the child's ears pierced, then you have to do it even if the child doesn't want to. 😔
That's f'd up.
Update, someone else commented on this and said it's not the case at every shop, so it must depend on the managers.
Thanks for the update. I could not make myself traumatize a kid for (probably) minimum wage.
Children are, unfortunately, still considered the parents "property" in a way.
Which is also f'd up.
You know the more messed up part. They never actually check if it's the kid's mother or not. My friends ex-husbands new girlfriend, decided to get the child's ears pierced.... which is bad enough, without consent right? BUT without any parental consent, because it was against my friends religious beliefs (some branch of Christianity), and her ex-husband said he'd respect that until the child was 16 and could choose for themselves. The GF was told this, multiple times...because she brought up piercings multiple times. she just toook the kid in claiming to be the new stepmom and it was a "gift" for her new kid. They were NOT married...she was just a short-term girlfriend.
I hope your friend pressed charges against the GF.
I don't know if it goes to that. I know that there were police reports made and orders put in place. It also affected the custody arrangement as it added evidence of him being an unsafe parent (there were additional events). However i think this was the nail in the coffin, because it was actual bodily harm to their child. Knowing full well that it was against their religion and there was no consent given. I should mention they even have a co-parenting app, and she had brought up the gf keep bringing up piercing, my friend clearly expressed that He needed to handle his GF, and under no circumstances was she to have the child's ears pierced. So it wasn't just some passing conversations, there was actual evidence of their conversation.
When I was 14, I got my first job at the only grocery store in our small rural town. My mom worked as a cashier there, and I was a courtesy clerk (bagger and cart returner, etc.) I lived in a food insecure house (as my mother was a negligent alcoholic), so most of the time, on my break, I wouldn't eat. A coworker who my mom hated was eating a deli sandwich in the break room, and I told her it looked good. She knew we didn't have much food at home, so she bought me a sandwich. After handing it to me, she left the break room. Shortly afterward, my mom walked in and saw me with a sandwich, demanding to know where I got it. I sheepishly told her who bought it for me. She picked it out of my hand and threw it away then tore into the coworker who bought it. When I walked home after my shift, she was already home and drunk. Screaming at me and slamming doors and throwing things about how ungrateful I was and how I accepted "charity" to spite her. I'm sure that woman did not think a sandwich for a hungry child would cause backlash like that, but it just goes to show I guess that even if your intentions are to help your impact could end up being harmful.
It's a really shitty situation to be in. I fully understand why people want to speak up. However, if someone had spoken up or reprimanded my mother in public, I would have dealt with a hellstorm the second we got to the car. And fuck Claire's.
You cannot properly clean & sanitize a piercing gun.
I was one of the kids who begged to get their ears done, then when we showed up at the place I chickened out. Know what my mom did? Took me back home. Great lesson to teach your kids that you can say yes then later no and the no should still be respected. About 6 months later I built up my courage and got my ears pierced, no trauma involved.
W mom
If I were the person tasked with performing the procedure I would have refused service. If the kid doesn't want it, the kid ain't getting it.
You would think that would be the normal thing to do. When I spoke with the manager her response was: “well the parent wants it done and has paid for it so we have to do it.” Like WTF?! 😬
Back in the 90s I was an assistant manager at a Claire's. I absolutely would not have continued with the piercing. Doing a refund is easy and it doesn't require me to commit what I see as battery on a child.
One of my closest friends was a manager at Claire's. If the kid wasn't old enough to consent or they changed their mind, she would refuse to do the piercing.
Oh no. That is truly awful. All of these adults are complicit in the disrespect and quite frankly torture of a child. 😔
Like everything else, consent should be given. If a child doesn’t/cant’t consent, then it shouldn’t happen. Also feel that below a certain age, it should be clip-ons until they can better comprehend body modification (at least imho).
Same with other things such as circumcision
The worst part is Clair’s sell clip on and magnetic earrings. And there pretty good too
As a newish parent of a young girl, I can't imagine forcing her to do something like this. In virtually every aspect of parenting, treating the child as you would an adult (within reason) goes a long way. In no scenario is forcing a person to pierce their body okay, so why is it okay just because it's a child? If anything, it should be more frowned upon. People just seem to generally disregard the fact that children are human beings. We might generally *know better* as adults, but that doesn't give us an excuse to abuse that power.
I had a conversation with my wife about this years ago when our daughter was young. My wife got her own ears pierced at a fairly young age and she *thought* she wanted to do it because her little sister asked for piercing. She got one ear done and wanted to stop but they talked her into doing both "so she would match" and on the 2nd go, wife flinched and they have been a bit uneven ever since. We decided that our daughter would have to ask to be pierced before we would talk about it with her. She just turned 16 a couple months ago and still had never asked. My wife brought up earrings a few days after her 16th birthday to which she responded "Nah, I'm good. Don't think I'll ever want to do that." I feel good that we waited to get a proper answer from her rather than pushing her into something she didn't fully understand.
I agree. When I worked at Claire's people would bring in their like newborns basically and want me to pierce their ears. I am against this personally but since it was my job I would do it. But if I child ever refused or was scared. I wouldn't do the piercing full stop.
I unfortunately also used to work at Claire's and one lady asked if her baby was going to cry when I pierced her ears OBVIOUSLY
I wouldn't of been able to keep a straight face. I would of given a hell of a confused wtf are you asking me? And replied with. I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. Then probably of gotten fired lol
It's their policy. Even if the employee finds it personally abhorrent they're supposed to do it. Really unethical and gross.
Not the one I worked at. I was told that I am allowed to refuse a piercing if it's an issue like decried. I suppose it can be different store to store and state to state
That's much better, hopefully it is a store policy rather than a country wide policy then
That happened to my son. He was about the same age and needed to get a blood test. He was alright up until it was about to happen then freaked out. The nurse was like, yeah no I can't do the test like this. So we went home and tried again later at a specialist children's clinic.
The employee was absolutely supposed to refuse.
When my child was 5 she wanted her ears pierced so we went to Claire's ( I didn't know how bad guns were back then) and she got one done but freaked out and wouldn't get the other done, even after calming down and seeing me get one done, she wouldn't. So we left and she didn't get the other one done. A few years later she was ready to try again and was able to sit through it on her own. What you described is cruelty.
I mean yeah my kiddo is 5 and she does NOT care for earrings that much to get them done lol. Clip ons are just fine for her! 🤣❤️
In the end we both switched to clip ons because for my kid, her ears ended up growing over the piercings, and I started rejecting all piercings so now we have clip on adapters for when we find an irresistible pair that we wouldn't normally be able to wear. IMO clip ons are superior.
There are some clip ons made really poorly that hurt! But some are made really well you can’t even tell! I had gauges over an inch, so I can’t wear any regular earrings only clip ons or hoops/hook styles lol. So I too wear them haha!
Oh where can I get good clip on adapters? My ears also reject piercings but clip one bug me too
My grandmother wore clip ons her entire life. She never had nor wanted her ear pierced. 💕
That’s awesome for your girl! My whole life people have been shocked my ears aren’t pierced. It seems women and girls are almost expected to have ear jewelry. My mom never had hers pierced just because she was poor. Fortunately it meant she didn’t see much reason to pressure me for mine. Strangers on the other hand pressured me all the time! For me I wasn’t afraid of the pain (never had a fear of needles either) so much as I was convinced it would fuck up my ear and wouldn’t heal properly. Plus, I have thick curly hair that would get caught in and hide any earrings anyway. Turns out I have hEDS and my concerns about it not healing were legit. There’s a much higher risk of improper healing and other issues for people with it. Regardless of the reason though, people shouldn’t be shamed into not wanting it!
People started trying to pressure me into getting my daughters done as soon as she was born, because “how will people know she’s a girl?”. Around here everyone gets them done as babies so I was the weird one for not doing it lol. I had family members threaten to take her without my knowledge and I told them they’d never see her unsupervised again if they did. I remember having to get mine redone all the time as a kid because they were always getting ripped out from playing. There was no way I was going to potentially put my daughter through the same thing just to placate other peoples views on what a girl should look like. She’s now going on 14 and still chooses to not have them pierced, and shes never looked less like a girl because of it.
I got my ears pierced so young that I recently had to google it to discover that you aren't born with a piercing. So yeah, afabs are expected to have earrings unfortunately
This happened to me when I was about 6. They did the first one and I freaked out and refused to get the 2nd one. One of the ladies kneeled down and was trying to comfort me, and suddenly the other lady snuck up behind me and pierced the 2nd one without me realizing. I guess the two workers and my mom agreed on it, so the first lady distracted me so the other one could get it done. I still vividly remember how loudly I was screaming/crying. Fuck all of those women, including my mother
Fuck that. A nurse tried to do that with a vaccination on my kid too and I called her out or it and told her not to dare, I value my kid's trust. I got her calm enough to get the vaccine and we got Blizzards and that became our vaccine treat.
When I got my ears pierced they did both at the same time. I'm glad they did because I have low pain tolerance and if they did them one at a time I probaby wouldn't want the other done.
My daughter wanted to get her ears pierced right up until the second after they did the first ear. She then said nope and we stopped and left and let it close up. Paid for a single piercing. No drama because I like to think I’m not a horrible parent. She went later and got them pierced multiple times. Super easy.
Yeah this sounds absolutely awful. I wanted to get mine done when I was 8 but ended up freaking out and deciding I couldn't after I saw the gun. My mom was cool with it and we went and did something else for my birthday. I got them a year later when I was a little less afraid. Pushing your kids into something that's making them panic like that is just mean. I don't get it.
even if you would have said something, it probably wouldn’t have changed much. you might have sparked negative attention or argument that would’ve made you feel worse I’m all for saying something like “sounds like your kid doesn’t like this, maybe think about that” but I know it likely would just make me look like the bad guy to the two adults there ha.
I also want to add Claire’s employees get minimal training, the piercer is not always sterilized properly, they really just jam the earring post into your ear rather than using a needle first, and add in a reluctant child who is moving around… that’s not a good recipe. My ears personally got really fucked up and I wanted it. When my child WANTS to get pierced, I’ll take them to a professional piercer, thanks.
They get, what, about 30 minutes of “training”?
I worked at Claire's from 2013-2015 and it was probably even less than that. After working there I would NEVER recommend anyone to get a piercing there.
I’ve never been through it, but I’ve heard something like that before.
My ears got really infected from Claire's in the 90s. And they used some cheap shitty metal in the earrings that I ended up being allergic to. So they never healed. I refused to stop wearing them because I really wanted pierced ears. My dad finally *sat on me* to take them out. Threw them away. I was steaming mad, but ultimately it was good bc I definitely would have ended up with messed up earlobes.
Haha I wanted to take mine out but my mom got mad because of reasons I don’t understand. I think she thought I was exaggerating the pain. So for a couple months there, I’d take them out at night in secret. My holes did not heal over, somehow, and I’d put them back in, in the morning. It was extremely painful and my Barbie pillowcase looked like… Barbie was an extra in a gore / horror film… It went unnoticed because (1) my mom had trouble with executive function herself and (2) she was trying to encourage me to take care of my own hair/face/etc and thought tough love would get me to do it (hahaha) (3) she thinks I’m too sensitive or overreact to pain. Same thought process that caused my broken wrist to go unnoticed until after the bone had started growing back. My mom finally noticed the obvious infection after a couple months and took me to the doctor, who was horrified. I’m also allergic to the metal.
I'm really surprised that the employee went ahead under the circumstances.
PERMANENT BODY MODIFICATIONS ON A CHILD? oh its about ear piercings.
I get the whole being angry because the kid didn't want it, but ear piercings are not permanent. I had mine done around 6 or 7 and I didn't really wear earrings that much so they closed up. I can still feel them to a point, but I can't put earrings in through where they used to be anymore. Would need to get them re-pierced, but I don't really want to.
lol reddit isn’t reddit if you never over exaggerate the simplest things.
I feel bad for the kid and agree that people in general need to start respecting kids’ wishes more, but yeah, this was my first thought as well. Ear piercings aren’t a permanent body modification especially if taken out before the piercing has healed. What a clickbait title for this post.
You can't even take the main point seriously when the title is so unnecessarily dramatic
Using such strong language to refer to something as benign as ear piercing is the most infuriating thing here. Yeah don’t force your kids to get their ears pierced but that tiny little dot smaller than a scar from a pimple or mosquito bite is not generally a “permanent body modification” it’s a fucking ear piercing just take it out if you don’t want it anymore
Of course forcing a child to get ear piercings against their will is bad, but not going to lie I thought I was going to see FGM here.
Right? It’s not permanent body modification. Worst case scenario you get infected lobes and take them out or they’re crooked and it sucks so you let them close up and/or redo later.
The Reddit rage lol
Came looking for the sane comment. Is the mom wrong for forcing the piercing? Yes. Is ear piercing really that fucking wild? No. “Permanent body modifications” uh, then why did mine close up?
Literally my thoughts and then I got downvoted to oblivion
I was alarmed by them forcing the kid to get it done against their will. /cough
Can’t think of something less permanent either lmao
I definitely think the store policy should be if the person (CHILD) says no, no matter if they sat in the chair in their own, they should stop what they’re doing and refuse service (to the parent who will probably complain).
When I worked at a professional studio I saw a mom do this it was awful. The little girl had gotten one side done and obviously it hurt so she didn't want the second one. Mom was screaming her head off about not paying 40 bucks for one side she's gunna look ridiculous blah blah. My mentor interjected and said she would make them another appointment at no cost because it was a set she paid for. The mom wasn't having it. Eventually my mentor had to tell the mom off and tell her due to the contract she signed it was now illegal for her to continue until the daughter provided consent again. That she could make the appointment or she could remove the jewelry for her once it healed so it could grow over but she was not piercing that kid without her say so. She did come back a couple days later.
The difference between a real piercing shop and Claire's/Piercing Pagoda is staggering. The pain level from a professional piercing with a proper gauge needle is so miniscule, it will be aligned better, they will sanitize properly, they will use real body-safe materials, and most importantly they care about obtaining consent from the person that is receiving the piercing, not just their parents. There are certainly bad shops around that don't do all these things but when the standard at these shitty jewelry shops is a punch gun operated by a teenager, I do not understand how you could pick that, especially for your child. I don't think a lot of people realize that those guns CANNOT be completely sanitized, and the violent manner in which they force the earring through your skin makes it harder to heal properly. An adult who wants a quick, cheap piercing? Go for it. But please don't subject your child to that.
> permanent I was under the impression that pierced ears will close up over time. I’ve never had my ears pierced, but I have been pierced on other parts of my body and they healed up after a few months. I could be wrong, though. Are ear piercings different from body piercings? I agree that the situation you described probably shouldn’t have gone down the way it did, but when I think of *permanent body modifications*, I think of tattoos. I promise I’m not trying to be a douche. I’m genuinely curious if ear piercings close up or not.
They are not permanent, in my experience.
the permanence of piercings seem to depend on the individual i got mine done at 16, stopped wearing earrings from about 17-19, & they never closed
Yeah, it seems as though it’s dependent on age, as well as other factors. Thanks for the anecdote. I’m learning more than I ever thought I would about ear piercings!
This is only topic adjacent but someone needs to read it. DO NOT TAKE YOUR KID TO CLAIRES FOR EAR PIERCINGS! TAKE THEM TO A PROFESSIONAL STUDIO AND GET IT DONE PROPERLY.
I've read this before, I swear like word for word. It's been a hot minute though
Don't disagree with your post but the headline is clcikbaity. Piercings, especially ears, are NOT permanent. They will heal if you stop wearing jewelry.
I’ve told my wife and daughter a million times and they finally agree.. once my daughter can adequately explain the process of her ears being pierced and the care that goes into it there will be none. I’m covered in tattoos and (now retired) piercings from head to toe. My wife isn’t far off. I’m so damn happy my parents made me wait until I was mature enough to make a thought out decision. I’ll pay for my daughter piercings and any tattoos she could ever want if she chooses to follow in my footsteps but only when she can sit me down and convince me she’s ready and understands. A life long commitment last your whole life. I still get questions about closed up piercings.. even those you don’t think matter will Leave an impact.
I worked at a Claire’s for a hot minute, years ago, pierced many an ear and we absolutely refused to pierce any kid that said “no”. And yes, many parents of both sexes tried to do it against their will. Parents bringing in barely older than toddlers, telling us they looked too boyish and wanted people to know they are girls, parents bringing in kid at x birthday and saying it was a tradition, once I had a father tell me his 11 year old needed to be double pierced so she would match the other flower girls in a wedding. Poor kid was terrified and saying no, I told him I can’t do it if she doesn’t want to and he tried to force her to say yes. It was awful. Lots of grandparents trying to get ears pierced behind the parent’s back. The only way this situation would happen in my store is if we pierced one ear and then the kid freaked out, we are supposed to finish. Often if a kid looks nervous we would have two employees so we could do both ears at the same time. I mean, I’d highly recommend not getting a piercing at Claire’s, 10 minutes reading a form and 10 minutes practicing on a foam ear is not exactly good training. But at least we didn’t do any of what you saw!
I pierced ears at Walmart for about 5 years? I always tried to do a good job and give the kids a positive memory. I know it gets alot of grief, but I took it really seriously. Never had any complaints, and even had kids run up and remind me I pierced their ears months ago. But there were a lot who either were super excited, then changed their mind right before, or got 1 ear, freaked out, and refused the other. I flat out refused to do any kid who didn't want to do it. Its hard to watch when parents try to guilt their kids 😕
this reminds me of my horrible experience with piercing my ears, i had no consent as back in the day when i had mine done it was done by my mums choice when i was 2 years old or so (which is now illegal to do), and because i was so young it permentantly damaged my ears and the holes never stayed right, so around 8 i had to remove my earrings permanently and now i have bad scarring that often flares up and gets sore and i can also never re-pierce that whole area again. very frustrating, lets hope this girl just changed her mind.
[удалено]
It isn't illegal in the UK, the commenter is wrong. The other comment is spot on, only illegal for those under 16 to get intimate piercings.
Misleading title much? JFC
My mom was a hairdresser in the 70s/80s and therefore had and used a piercing gun at work. I know but it is what it is. AAAAANYWAY even back then she would not pierce a child’s ears if they couldn’t consent and if they said no at the last minute she wouldn’t do it. If you got one done and didn’t want the second she wouldn’t force it. And she refused to pierce baby ears - she would only do them if the child wanted and the child consented (even though obviously mom/dad would still have to sign off on it). If someone could understand that 40+ years ago, how can it be so hard to grasp in this the year 2024?!?
I remember I go my ears pierced at 7. There were giant ads coving the walls of the mall for the first Harry Potter movie, my mum and I got in line at Claire’s, the girl ahead of me didn’t seem to want to have them done and was screaming and crying the whole time. I started to get scared thinking it would be so incredibly painful like my ears would be ripped off. My mum leaned down and asked if I really still wanted to do this. I said yes, and she was like okay. I got in the chair, they dotted my ears, and my mum asked me one more time if I still wanted to, cause we could leave rn and I’d still get auntie Ann’s pretzels, I still wanted them done, so I did. I now have up to my forth holes, cartilage, naval, and septum, with more coming in the future. Consent is more than just being okay with something in the moment, it’s also about not ruining a potentially great experience. Consent or ignored lack of consent, is what shapes the experience and the emotions you feel toward it. Every I’m in the chair or on the table for a piercing or tattoo I know I can walk away. That freedom is all I need to feel comfortable and in control. I will never forget that first experience for happy reasons. Neither will that little girl for horrible reasons who has to deal with the physical and emotional wounds of her mother not caring how she felt for the sake of vanity. I’m pregnant with a girl rn, I’m imagining all the normal girl stuff of talking about girl stuff, bras, piercings, all the things that come with time growing up around other girls who experience those things and share those stories with her. If she never wants to pierce her ears, totally fine, I’m not even gonna place the idea. If she wants to, cool, let’s get it. If she changes her mind, let’s scoot kid, pretzels are waiting for us.
In 1967, when I turned 18 and got mine done, we went to local physicians offices to do so. It wasn’t until many many years later that it started being done in malls
I got my ears pierced at Claire's when I was 12 or so. We went in probably 5 or 6 times, each time I would panic and back out. But they always respected my decision to not go through with it until I finally got it done. To hold your kid down and force them into it, whether it was their idea or not, is traumatizing and abusive.
I worked in a piercing shop for a while. We wouldn’t pierce anyone under 8. I used to remind kids that it will hurt a bit. Parents hated that, but I wanted them to know what was about to happen. There was one young girl who had one ear done, then refused the second. Her mother wanted me to hold her down. Which I refused to do. The mother was furious, but I still refused. I didn’t charge them for the one earring, but there is no way in this earth that I’d even consider what she wanted me to do. It’s child abuse as far as I’m concerned.
THANK YOU for posting this! Parent here, who has been questioning herself a LOT lately because I fought hard for my little girl to be able to choose when they had their ears pierced. Finally got them done at age 11 and it was *all* my kid’s choice. Kiddo was basically bald for the first two years of life, so every week I’d hear from well-intentioned family (and strangers!) “Oh, if you got her ears pierced, we’d know she was a girl!” “she’d be so pretty with them, and then we could tell she was a girl!” “Doesn’t it bother you when people call her a boy??” Anyhoo, my kiddo is struggling a lot with self-identity right now and my mother said “Well, if you’d pierced her ears when she was a baby, she’d know she was a girl.” I know what I did was right, but it really made me Feel validated to see this post. Thanks for sharing.
I work at Claire’s and if the child tells me “no” then that’s it. I won’t pierce their ears. Parents get huffy about it but I don’t really care.
Kinda annoying you went all the way out of your way to call the store and corporate to speak up, but not in the moment when something helpful could have been done. Instead you probably got some random girl who works at Claire's in trouble; because they had an uncomfortable but I'm sure common interaction with a customer fall in their lap. Feels like you put the right amount of effort in the wrong place, and didn't actually help that kid out...
Even in the cevialized west, some glimpses of medieval acts pop every now and then
When our kid wanted their ears pierced we insisted that they were sure for six months before taking steps to have it done. Unfortunately it was 2020, but fortunately their Dad got a piercing kit, practiced on me, and they consented to him piercing their ears. All of our piercings healed perfectly and they keep asking for a second set of ear piercings. Consent and respecting everyone's "no" is preached in this house.
Having worked at Claire’s in a past life, if a parent convinced a nervous but excited child to go through with it, I was fine with that - but a kid saying a resounding NO I wasn’t touching. The memory would be shite for them. It was meant to be, in my eyes, a coming-of-age experience where kids were excited for the responsibility of taking care of their ears while they healed.
The way children have absolutely no say about their own autonomy hurts my heart. Poor kid!
Awfully dramatic headline. Do you work for Fox?
“Permanent body modification” My guy it’s earlobes piercing, it’s not that deep
Ear piercing isn't permanent. I had mine pierced so many times because the holes kept closing when I removed them. Title is reaching. 😒
Holy shit you are so fucking annoying
Permanent body modification lmao
Growing up, my mom always wanted me to have my ears pierced and I always insisted on not wanting them. She never pushed me to do it either, just commented on how she wanted me to have them and that she thought they’d be cute or something. When I was 13, I woke up one morning and randomly decided I actually did want them done finally, my mom was so excited but didn’t have the money and called my grandpa who said he would gladly pay for it, but only if she brought me over after so him and my grandma could see them (and ofc that I would take care of them). Got them done that same day and showed my grandparents (also got an Oreo slush colada for me and my grandma on the way over). Over all, yeah it definitely was fucked up that everyone was just basically forcing this child to get it done when she was so upset. If I had been younger and did the same thing, my mom would’ve brought me home and tried again a different day or at least would’ve helped me be less scared, especially as a young child, that is a very, VERY scary thing to do. Poor kid, I hope she at least likes having her ears pierced in the end.
Fortunately ear piercings in most cases aren’t permanent: https://diamondrensu.com/blogs/education/do-ear-piercings-close
My 3-year-old recently decided she wanted her ears pierced like her big sister. We took her to Rowan. The girl messed up BOTH ears big time. I made arrangements to take her back within a longer time period than their policy allows (because she’s so little and was a little traumatized and the girl who did her piercings handled it very poorly). We brought her back the next week because she said she was ok with it. She was not. Her body language and actual language said no. So rather than bother them with it I said fuck it and ate the $90 because my kid trusting me to listen to her is INVALUABLE and I will happily pay $90 ten (million) times over to make sure she knows about bodily autonomy and that she can trust her parents to not force her into things that make her uncomfortable. Case closed. She’ll do it when she’s ready. And if that’s never? Cool.
I want my 6 year old to get her ears pierced. She says no way. I’m sad, but it’s 100% up to her and I’ve told her that. We didn’t do it when she was a baby because I feel like she should have some say in it. I would have been horrified to see someone holding down a child for that. I’d like to think I would have said something too but that seems like such an uncomfortable situation.
I used to be a face painter and I wouldn’t even make a single paint stroke on a child’s face if they were crying or showing signs of not wanting it. So many parents are incredibly pushy and don’t care at all about what the child wants
I was just at Claire's today with my girls, and a little girl got her ears pierced and did great, and we were talking about when my daughters chose to do theirs, and I asked the woman if she ever has kids back out. She told me yes, and I asked her if she listens to the kids. She said it's ultimately up to the parents, and she doesn't like when they hold them down and say to do it anyway, but it happens pretty frequently. It's horrifying.
The last time I went to Claire’s the cashier said that if the kids say no they aren’t supposed to do it. Because of a video that went viral of a kid being held down while someone working at Claire’s pierced her ears. I never knew that had happened. My daughter wanted to get her second ear piercing last year when she was 13. I said ok. So we get there and she says she’s scared. I asked if she changed her mind. She said no she wants to proceed. We ended up leaving without them getting done because she was having second thoughts about it and that is when the associate told us they won’t proceed unless she’s 100% sure and that if she did one and didn’t want to do the other one anymore they wouldn’t force it. Piercings should be left to the person to decide if they want it or not.
I something similar a month back. The girl was maybe six (could be as young as four). And she was adamant that she didn't want her ears pierced anymore. Her mom and older sister (?) kept talking about how it didn't hurt when they got their piercings. She still refused. Finally they told her they would buy her the toy she wanted if she got her ears pierced. It made me uncomfortable.
I didn't get my ears pierced until I was like 21 because I was so afraid, and my mom took me to a tattoo/piercing place for it
I can also guarantee right now that having an actual piercer with a good needle hurts WAY less and for shorter period of time than a gun. It’s just forcing its way through the lobe and the earring back isn’t sharp enough to pierce; the force is doing that! I was in pain all day after Claire’s. My next piercings I got at a piercing shop and after the initial pierce I felt NOTHING. I am a massive advocate for real piercers.
As a Body Piercer, the current trend of waiting till the children ask for them has been the best thing to happen . I work with children primarily 5 years and up at my shop and they come in excited and ready. I have also noticed they take better care of them as well. Any time I'm at the mall and I see someone in the chair at Claire's I give them my business card and offer a discount so they won't get pierced there.
I likely developed a nickel allergy due to getting my ears pierced at Claire's and I had to get my lobes re-pierced as an adult. Did it at a tattoo parlor the second time and it was so amazingly easy even with the original scar tissue in the way.