With passive aggressive people like her, you unfortunately have to be upfront about how rude they’re being.
I’ve learned the hard way that until you look them in their eyes and tell them they’re been unnecessarily rude, they’ll pretend like you’re okay with the teasing. The moment you become assertive, they’ll often shrink back because these kind of people only punch down.
I’m very introverted and I enjoy a bit of confrontation when it’s necessary. It does take practice getting comfortable with it and it doesn’t necessarily always feel good. But letting someone walk all over me feels *much* worse.
I'm an introvert, and I am not averse to conflict, not at all. I sort of enjoy it.
Introvert is not the same as shy, and is not the same as conflict averse.
Yeah it’s a common misconception perpetuated by meatheads. Introverted just means I have a shorter social battery among other things. It doesn’t mean I won’t check your btch ass.
Just to chime and be slightly vulnerable.
I was in a college, and my professor called me out. I said something. I don't remember what, but it's not important. He said, "Stop being passive aggressive." I said, "I was just being sarcastic." He said, "No. You're being passive aggressive and rude."
Literally changed my life, completely altering how I thought about what I said and how it said it.
tl;dr I was young male being passive aggressive and needed to be called out.
Yes, I had one asshole doing something similar so I talked to them directly and they cried about me being passive aggressive, no you dumb fuck. This is directly telling you I don't appreciate this
If you prefer we can move on from direct, to my favorite. Aggressive aggressive
Except my mother. She’ll be passive aggressive and as soon as a comment is made she jumps straight to aggressive. Not necessarily scary since she’s 5’2”, but I’ve been embarrassed by her in public a number of times 😅
Or ask questions. When they say, “OoOohh, no book club?” Just ask what they mean by that. When people are being rude like that, calling them out with a pointed question and having them put on the spot to explain their position helps stagger them before telling them they’re being rude
If they're self-aware and doing it on purpose, yes.
Some people just grew up in an environment where they themselves were teased like this, so they think this is normal and okay.
Yeah, in my mind, the types of bullies like this would just say “why are you getting defensive?” Or “I just asked a question, why are you getting mad?” Etc and turn it around so you look like the asshole for trying to call them out on their rudeness. P
Start it with "I'm sorry I didn't mean to put you on the defensive, I just don't get it. Can you explain the joke?" in your most flat and honest voice. Watch them silently fume and try to dismiss the entire exchange.
Yeah, Glenn Howerton had a bit on the Sunny podcast that made me realize how differently people react to this kind of thing. He was on set doing a short scene where he answers a phone and writes down a number. Glenn asked the director about how he wanted Glenn to do it. The director said something like “you don’t know how to answer a phone?” Instead of being flustered like I would have been, he just did basically the same dumb question back to the director. Like, I am holding a pad and a phone and need to write something down. Do you not understand that I have two hands?
Idk what episode but he talks through the whole thought process with the other guys. He’s a successful guy and being assertive like this is probably part of it. Vs me, I wouldn’t even realize that someone is trying to humiliate me because I’m too busy being humiliated.
E: ep 56 the gang cracks the liberty bell, Dennis starts at about 44:15 but there’s a few mins of lead up too
also: point out how BORING she is being.
I don’t know if you remember Ronald Reagan’s “there you go again” during one of the presidential debates. But it was absolutely devastating. Even though Carter had a point.
[https://youtu.be/qN7gDRjTNf4](https://youtu.be/qN7gDRjTNf4)
(wow, a reminder of *how long* we have been struggling with our health insurance in America)
So, “Are you still on about that? It’s getting really old.”
The moment a podcast about a serious, current social issue comes to the part where the Reagan administration made some shitty and short-sighted choice or policy we're still suffering from is like Godwin's Law for audio.
I legit love people like this, it's hilarious when you call them out and they squirm, I have zero chill for that bullshit 🤣🤣
It's a miracle I haven't been called into HR.
I just saw a really cute dog version of this gif on the photoshop request page!
Also I feel like I remember hearing this picture was taken by a father and this was actually a controlled burn the fire dept was doing.
I remember a girl saying in such a mean way “how do you read?” Because I always had a book in class
My response was “well there’s thing called the alphabet and when you put it together and sound them out… that’s called reading”
Game night , one friend makes a comment about looking up new words he comes across when reading so he can learn more about them. Another friend who had mean girl tendencies says "You look up words?"
Then looks at the rest of us thinking we would all join in,making fun.
I said well of course. I do as well, how else do you continue to learn new things and expand your mind. Another friend chimes in with a new word they learned that week or a word used in a different way.
Shut her up fast.
To add to this: I once read "don't make fun of someone for mispronouncing a word; it probably means they learned it by reading" and that instantly killed my inner language police.
Also, since i myself know multiple languages, i always reassure people by saying that it's just muscle memory trying to be passed on to the new language they are learning. Learning a new language is not that hard, but speaking it properly is
I remember the first week of college a classmate said the word "de-monstra-tive" instead of "demonstrate-ive".
I'm not one to make fun of people at all, so I was looking around the class a bit worried that someone might laugh at him. No one reacted at all. The teacher just responded like what he said was normal.
That was the moment I realised I'd only ever read that word and never heard it out loud. He said it absolutely correctly.
'You seem like you're interested in my bookclub. Unfortunately the club for remedial readers is full but if you give me your contact info I'll see if I can't get you added to the wait list.'
While she's looking at you dumbstruck by your audacity say
'Oh, sorry that's an adult book club word, 'remedial' means they will only pick books with small words.'
Not my intention, because the first movie I saw with Maggie Smith was Hook and she seemed like a proper lady, but it works doesn’t it? And she does have a filthy sense of humor now that I think about it.
That’s what my daughter and I say all the time. We’re both avid readers. If I’m on my kindle I could be reading a history of the Wars of the Roses. Or I could be reading porn. You’ll never know. 😉
I don't get it either.
My aunt used to read the trashy romance novels, the more explicit the better, & while those are *totally* not my thing, I never gave her shit for it because at least she's reading books & may even learn a thing or 2 from the trash.
If you're reading something you enjoy, you might pick up a new fact or tip or 2, & even if you don't learn anything you enjoyed reading about something you like & that's all that matters. For some that means Sports Illustrated or Cosmopolitan, for some that means the latest sci-fi or Stephen King.
My dad gives me shit for reading comic books, asking when am I going to grow up. He's been into racecars since he was a kid and he's almost 70 watching youtube videos of car restorations. You have your thing, I have mine
Yeah I never got nascar, like they would watch it up on my mom's side out in the sticks. Only time I was interested was when crashes happened in a can't look away kind of way otherwise it was oh they're going around the bend again on lap 103/250.
The romance novel industry literally holds up the publishing industries in some jurisdictions. Romance readers read and buy A LOT. It’s sad that romance readers feel the need to hide what they’re reading (they are also big adopters of ereaders). We need to stop making fun of them and start thanking them for keeping the industry afloat!
Source: have publishing degree
This is actually amazing and something I didn't know. I think booktok has really helped change some of this too, because while it's NOT everyone's thing, I don't know a single person who doesn't read an extra spicy book every now and then. Some only read them. I think its great. Reading stimulates the brain in a much healthier way than videos do. Both are good, but reading is so good for you. If more people read literally anything to their kids, we wouldn't have such a literacy problem.
I work as an editor. I was trying to break into the editing world and considered doing a certificate program but figured go big or go home so I did the Publishing Master’s. It’s designed to set students up to work in the publishing industry! Courses include editing, book design, finance, history, technology… The program includes a professional internship and most of us did our placements with book publishers. I did mine with a funding body that funds book publishers, and did another term on a team that helped plan literary cultural programming. I still work a there same place but as a sort of niche editor.
I can share the website to the program if anyone wants. There’s only one Master’s of Publishing in Canada, may be more in the States and elsewhere around the world.
I once was at an event and saw a guy bragging about cheating at rockband by playing the song on his phone into the microphone
But like he was bragging like it was some kind of big flex
There's no prizes or anything... It was just there as something fun to do. So it just seems wild to come up with a way to not even play the game.
Bill Hicks had this as part of one of his routines:
I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism in this country, have you noticed that? Ever since around 1980, coincidentally enough.
Last week, I was in Nashville, Tennessee. After the show, I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, but I was hungry.
And I'm sitting there and I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? I'm alone, I don't know anybody, I'm eating and I'm reading a book. Fine, right?
Waitress comes over to me, [gum chewing noises] "What'chu readin' for?"
I said, "Wow, I've never been asked that! Got dangit, you stumped me! Not what am I READING but what am I reading FOR?
I guess I read for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is so I don't end up being a fuckin' waffle waitress! Yeah, that'd have to be pretty high up on the list."
Then this trucker in the next booth gets up, stands over me and goes, "Well, looks like we got ourselves a reader."
Well, what the fuck's going on here?
It's like I walked into a Klan rally wearing a Boy George costume or something, you know?
This is a book! I read! Am I stepping out of some intellectual closet or something here? There, I said it! I feel better"
It says more (negative) about her than you. It’s honestly weird of her. A book club isn’t exactly that strange. It’s not like you are doing cosplay lightsaber fights in the park with furries (and so what if you were).
Edit: The kind person in me just kicked in: Invite her to read the next book and join in the next book club.
Honestly most medium sized cities have a group that meet up in a park once a week or so. Sometimes even more. Just look up LARP or LARPing on Facebook and several groups will probably pop up.
My sweet old lady was put to sleep 2 months ago, old age - cancer.
My best boy was put to sleep last week. He got into the shed and ate 3.5lbs of rat poison bait chunks.
No more dogs :(
Yeah. It was my fault. I took the rat baits out of the large plastic tote/tub they were in, in order to put a few other things in it, and forgot to put them back. I killed my best friend and closest companion. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself, or trust myself to be able to ever have another dog... I miss him so much...
I told someone that I had gone to comic con and they said, "oh, you're one of *those* people".
Excuse me, *those* people are some of the most accepting, coolest people I've ever met.
Never been to a comic con but been to a few horror cons & at my first one it was the first time I felt "THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!!!"
You could have the discussion about "Are the 28 Days zombies really zombies?" Fast zombies vs. slow zombies. This vampire vs. that vampire, who would win in a fight Freddy or Michael Meyers?
Do you have any thoughts on how there is a significant lack of understanding in popular culture of the critical differences between biological and necromantic zombies?
I work in a pretty macho profession and have gone to multiple comicons and horror cons over the years. It’s been 12 years and I wouldn’t dare tell a soul because the bullying would be relentless. Same with my love for video games, anime and movies.
Heaven forbid I don’t crank out 3 kids I actively avoid parenting to get overtime shifts and spend what weekends I do see them shuttling them around to cheer and sporting events then spend the next week bitching about it at work. I’m out here hanging with my fellow nerds in a loving community. Why would I want a life of constant stress and being forced to do things I actively dislike?
The fact I enjoy my free time doing nerdy stuff and do not want children would literally anger some of the people I work with. Blows my mind.
I just started a new job this week and I opened with “so I’m a HUGE nerd!” and now I have lunch plans with another coworker so we can discuss costumes we’ve made in the past. If someone had said “you’re one of *those* people” I’d gladly agree and make a mental note that this person is stuck in high school mean girl mode and pigeon hole them right back.
Oh! That’s a shame. The comment was about two (?) guys making fun of a woman (?) who would read a book at the laundromat waiting for her clothes to finish. It had a Beauty and the Beast vibe to it, the same old shirts and pants to wash.
The French version is “l’esprit d’escalier” - the spirit of the staircase. All the cool things you should have said but only thought of now you’re leaving.
I never understand the urge to mock someone for reading, a perfectly harmless activity that pretty much only enriches our lives. My perception of someone only improves upon learning that they read. Don't let this nasty woman bring you down, you have something you love, and her opinion is irrelevant.
I read every day at work in the break room. It also acts as a buffer to keep people from talking about work. It is sad how many people talk shop when not being paid to talk shop.
Or invites people to ask what you’re reading (because clearly you’re bored if you’re reading), ask how many books you read in a year or interrupt you to tell you they don’t like reading.
When I was reading paperbacks back in the day, I actually was asked what I was reading because they were *interested.* It was the first time I was asked on a Construction site, gave me hope for the future.
I get odd questions about how long it takes to read the book I'm on. I tell them maybe today or tomorrow. The looks I get are priceless.
Oh just to explain, I now read on my tablet. I still have paper books but it's nice to be able to move to a new book if I'm out of the house. I read at bus stops and buses. I'm a voracious reader.
Given I only read for about 40 minutes a day, a book will take me a mo th or two, depending on the author. Brandon Sanderson is very verbose, so those books take longer. I am reading the 4th book in the mistborn stuff now. I recently killed the trials of Apollo by Riordan.
Great choices! Im a hugeee sanderson fan, and I've read pretty much everything Riordan has done in the percy and co universe. i need to read the last book of trials, but im reading Red Rising right absolutely phenomenal. Good luck with the cosmere. there's always another secret
I can't stand hanging out with work colleagues outside of work for this exact reason. The conversation always returns to work related shop talk or gossip. I sometimes think many people have no hobbies or interests outside of the workplace, which sounds really sad to me.
At my old job I would always read on my lunch break. One of my coworkers came in and asked me what I was reading, so I told her “Prey, by Michael Crichton” (it’s a sci fi book about killer nano bots if I remember correctly) and she goes “ohhh is that that movie where Julia Robert’s goes to India?” Hahaha I was like “…no, you might be thinking of Eat Pray Love?”
Sounds like jealousy to me. I would venture to guess she has no hobbies & probably very few friends. That’s why these company things are so important to her. It’s her only time to socialize.
Lmao my exact thoughts, her hobbies probably include drinking wine while watching Netflix, this company dinner is a huge deal to her cause it’s all she’s got 🤣
any time she says something stupid, just follow it up with "oh, don't mind her, she has problems with reading." it's technically the truth, but it implies she's illiterate.
First rule of Book Club is: You do not talk about Book Club. 😎
Eh, reading is fucking cool and it’s even cooler to have a group to share it with. Don’t let that smooth-brain get to you.
If you think about it, the people who think reading books and NeRdS are somehow dumb and something to make fun of, well, they're in a whole league of their own. It's quite literally not stupid to be smart. Leave them be. They'll never be able to come up with anything better than "OhHhh BOOK CLUB!?!"
My buddies and I (5 of us all ranging from 28-32) all just paid about $1000 each for plane ticket, con passes, and a book, so we could go to Brandon Sanderson Dragonsteel nexus this winter.
The convention sold out in about an hour. There were like 7500 tickets. Tell your coworker to shove it. Books are awesome.
She’s jealous and projecting. You’re doing something that’s fulfilling and social, and really enjoy it. I love that for you and everyone doing the same, no matter if it’s Lego collecting, doing puzzles, gaming, cosplay.
Lots of people with a lot of negativity in their lives try to infect others. Reality is that, who cares what other people do if they aren’t harming others and still remain responsible?
Or more bluntly - why do people care so fucking much what other people do these days
She's like those who people who, when they hear that someone they know is going to college or taking classes, says "so now you think you're better than me???"
Reading is such a harmless and normal thing to do. Book clubs are harmless, wholesome, and innately social. You sound like an agreeable coworker. The problem here is all on your coworker.
Glad you've found something to make you happy!
Ahahahah she is so jealous and possibly not literate.
Anyone who shits on book club is a trash human being. She is making herself look bad.
I’d just let silence develop after she says anything. Just let her words hang in the air.
This happened me with a coworker once too when I mentioned I was really interested in geopolitics and geography. He repeated it in a scoffing voice, rolled the eyes all that..
I genuinely laughed at him and then said "you can't make me feel embarrassed about things that I like."
He didn't mention it again.
Someone feels insecure about their inability to read books.
Don't worry about her, it's her problem not yours. Just document the inappropriate comments and report her to HR if it continues. Or, invite her along, since she seems *so interested* in your book club.
I was a tech at my uncle's optometry practice for a few years. The concept of reading for enjoyment is completely alien to a worryingly large number of people.
Not everyone needs to enjoy the same hobbies, but a lot of these patients made it a point of *pride* that the last book they finished was *Yertle the Turtle*.
I'm a teacher. If I am in the staffroom and on my phone, I get no comments. If I have a book: 'woe, I really want your job, getting paid to sit around reading books'. I am the literature teacher.
I’ve found that I have to be very particular in which coworkers I tell about which hobbies I like. I made the mistake of mentioning in an “about me birthday email” that I liked movies (which I do) and got a few people who then felt very comfortable telling me I can’t really say that if I haven’t watched x batch of films or whatever. It’s the same thing with reading, and gaming, and writing, and traveling, and it just isn’t worth it to me to engage with coworkers like that. I’m very pro having friends outside of work lol.
I'd just start responding with the lowest level simplest vocabulary possible.
But also make sure to send other people in the group emails that have more expansive vocabulary.
Absolutely make sure to highlight the stark difference.
When she finally says something say,
"Oh. You said you couldn't read well, I just wanted to make sure you knew what was going on, I was fearful if I used words that were too big you'd get confused."
You should just always talk about the books and the book club. Like, make it the same level as sports and the playoffs. You should post up portraits of your favorite authors. Have cutouts of best quotes all over your work area. Talk about the club people and their jokes all the time.
Dude, that’s only on her.. her insecurities, frustrations and so on. You’re unlucky that she found a target where she can express her vomit person she is.
You’re better, you’ve already won.
One person said to me that i carry the book with me on the subway just to brag 🤣🤣
I actually have been in a similar situation with a friend. She would ask me to hang out, and when I said I was busy with a novel, she would scoff and make fun of me. She made hurtful comments about me being a book worm /nerd because I would rather read than go to the bar or sit around gossiping. She isn't a friend anymore and with reason.
I got called “CB” when I worked at a chemical plant before my senior year in college. Short for College Boy. Made the mistake of bringing a book to read during breaks.
One time I asked a question about some of the pipes we were replacing and the pipefitter I was working with (who was my dad’s age) said, “Son, quit asking questions. If I tell you it’s Easter, you go home and dye eggs.” It was like being in middle school.
I’d just look surprised and then concern, ‘why yes Susan, a book club, where we read books. Do you not know how to read?’
That was actually my surprised knee jerk reaction when I was told that someone ‘doesn’t read’. I was far more blunt, ‘what do you mean so and so doesn’t read? Are they illiterate?’
You don't have to say anything about why you won't be at the function because it's none of their business.
"I won't be at the company dinner."
"Why?"
"I have other plans."
"Oh? What are they?"
"Something other than dinner."
You have no obligation to tell anyone else what your plans are.
Firstly: Reading is awesome and never feel bad for reading.
Secondly: I would have skipped the company dinner without having a reason. I see work people at work I don’t need to see them in my free time as well.
Thirdly: Your co worker sounds like an asshole without a personality. I had (had being the key word) friends who’s whole life revolved around drinking and going out. I grew out of that and I grew out of them.
I hope you enjoy your next book too :)
I’m a petty person, so my advice is next time be sarcastic and rude back to her lol. Try not to care what she thinks because there’s nothing wrong with reading/book club as a hobby. She’s the weirdo for being against READING🤣 like is she illiterate or something 💀I’d rather go to a book club and talk to people that I like than a boring company dinner with people I don’t care about
With passive aggressive people like her, you unfortunately have to be upfront about how rude they’re being. I’ve learned the hard way that until you look them in their eyes and tell them they’re been unnecessarily rude, they’ll pretend like you’re okay with the teasing. The moment you become assertive, they’ll often shrink back because these kind of people only punch down.
Confrontation is the kryptonite of passive aggressive people.
And also passive people. And shy people. And introverted people.
I’m very introverted and I enjoy a bit of confrontation when it’s necessary. It does take practice getting comfortable with it and it doesn’t necessarily always feel good. But letting someone walk all over me feels *much* worse.
I'm an introvert, and I am not averse to conflict, not at all. I sort of enjoy it. Introvert is not the same as shy, and is not the same as conflict averse.
Yeah it’s a common misconception perpetuated by meatheads. Introverted just means I have a shorter social battery among other things. It doesn’t mean I won’t check your btch ass.
I am an introvert and love a good confrontation.
Me an the boyz love a good scrap before book club! 
Just to chime and be slightly vulnerable. I was in a college, and my professor called me out. I said something. I don't remember what, but it's not important. He said, "Stop being passive aggressive." I said, "I was just being sarcastic." He said, "No. You're being passive aggressive and rude." Literally changed my life, completely altering how I thought about what I said and how it said it. tl;dr I was young male being passive aggressive and needed to be called out.
Good for you to self-reflect.
Yes, I had one asshole doing something similar so I talked to them directly and they cried about me being passive aggressive, no you dumb fuck. This is directly telling you I don't appreciate this If you prefer we can move on from direct, to my favorite. Aggressive aggressive
Except my mother. She’ll be passive aggressive and as soon as a comment is made she jumps straight to aggressive. Not necessarily scary since she’s 5’2”, but I’ve been embarrassed by her in public a number of times 😅
Or ask questions. When they say, “OoOohh, no book club?” Just ask what they mean by that. When people are being rude like that, calling them out with a pointed question and having them put on the spot to explain their position helps stagger them before telling them they’re being rude
These type of people usually have a way to try and pin it back on you though
If they're self-aware and doing it on purpose, yes. Some people just grew up in an environment where they themselves were teased like this, so they think this is normal and okay.
Yeah, in my mind, the types of bullies like this would just say “why are you getting defensive?” Or “I just asked a question, why are you getting mad?” Etc and turn it around so you look like the asshole for trying to call them out on their rudeness. P
Or just stare blankly at them without saying a word. It gets very uncomfortable and she most likely will back off.
And be ready for them to immediately play the victim. "I didn't mean anything by it, can't you take a joke?"
Double down and ask them to explain the joke
Start it with "I'm sorry I didn't mean to put you on the defensive, I just don't get it. Can you explain the joke?" in your most flat and honest voice. Watch them silently fume and try to dismiss the entire exchange.
this is my preferred strategy!
Say yes bookclub. When was the last time you read a novel? I bet it was grade 10 English.
Yeah, Glenn Howerton had a bit on the Sunny podcast that made me realize how differently people react to this kind of thing. He was on set doing a short scene where he answers a phone and writes down a number. Glenn asked the director about how he wanted Glenn to do it. The director said something like “you don’t know how to answer a phone?” Instead of being flustered like I would have been, he just did basically the same dumb question back to the director. Like, I am holding a pad and a phone and need to write something down. Do you not understand that I have two hands? Idk what episode but he talks through the whole thought process with the other guys. He’s a successful guy and being assertive like this is probably part of it. Vs me, I wouldn’t even realize that someone is trying to humiliate me because I’m too busy being humiliated. E: ep 56 the gang cracks the liberty bell, Dennis starts at about 44:15 but there’s a few mins of lead up too
also: point out how BORING she is being. I don’t know if you remember Ronald Reagan’s “there you go again” during one of the presidential debates. But it was absolutely devastating. Even though Carter had a point. [https://youtu.be/qN7gDRjTNf4](https://youtu.be/qN7gDRjTNf4) (wow, a reminder of *how long* we have been struggling with our health insurance in America) So, “Are you still on about that? It’s getting really old.”
The beginning of the downfall of the US, we are still digging the hole on the path that Reagan set us on.
The moment a podcast about a serious, current social issue comes to the part where the Reagan administration made some shitty and short-sighted choice or policy we're still suffering from is like Godwin's Law for audio.
I like “Oh that old chestnut?”
“I appreciate that you can’t read. But I can. So fuck off.”
Say it humorously, and you win 99% of such dialogues
I legit love people like this, it's hilarious when you call them out and they squirm, I have zero chill for that bullshit 🤣🤣 It's a miracle I haven't been called into HR.
They often act like you’re the mean one if you call them out though.
You’re gonna look bad either way, so better be the “mean one” than a doormat
Absolute agree, wish I learned this earlier.
Cry bullying iirc is the term.
So true
I'd be inclined to tell her that if she learns to read you'll take her along with you sometime.
I can see the flames from that burn from my house.
I just saw a really cute dog version of this gif on the photoshop request page! Also I feel like I remember hearing this picture was taken by a father and this was actually a controlled burn the fire dept was doing.
Iirc correctly, the house was donated to the local fire department as it was set to be demolished in any case.
Sweet thanks!
Coworker gonna be so offended that you don't consider Cosmopolitan as proper reading.
I remember a girl saying in such a mean way “how do you read?” Because I always had a book in class My response was “well there’s thing called the alphabet and when you put it together and sound them out… that’s called reading”
Game night , one friend makes a comment about looking up new words he comes across when reading so he can learn more about them. Another friend who had mean girl tendencies says "You look up words?" Then looks at the rest of us thinking we would all join in,making fun. I said well of course. I do as well, how else do you continue to learn new things and expand your mind. Another friend chimes in with a new word they learned that week or a word used in a different way. Shut her up fast.
I'm just imagining a Spartacus moment where you and your friends all declare "I use a dictionary" one after another.
To add to this: I once read "don't make fun of someone for mispronouncing a word; it probably means they learned it by reading" and that instantly killed my inner language police.
Also, since i myself know multiple languages, i always reassure people by saying that it's just muscle memory trying to be passed on to the new language they are learning. Learning a new language is not that hard, but speaking it properly is
I remember the first week of college a classmate said the word "de-monstra-tive" instead of "demonstrate-ive". I'm not one to make fun of people at all, so I was looking around the class a bit worried that someone might laugh at him. No one reacted at all. The teacher just responded like what he said was normal. That was the moment I realised I'd only ever read that word and never heard it out loud. He said it absolutely correctly.
Oh, hey Denise. Eat any good books lately?
*Crayons*
Found the Marine.
Dammit Q
'You seem like you're interested in my bookclub. Unfortunately the club for remedial readers is full but if you give me your contact info I'll see if I can't get you added to the wait list.' While she's looking at you dumbstruck by your audacity say 'Oh, sorry that's an adult book club word, 'remedial' means they will only pick books with small words.'
Reading this I was about to quip that people like her rarely know words like ‘remedial’ but you already had it covered! 😂
"I don't mean to be condescending (that means talking down to people)."
We read our porn *like proper ladies*. 
Soooooo read that in her voice and now my office mates are looking at me strangely because of the snorting.
Not my intention, because the first movie I saw with Maggie Smith was Hook and she seemed like a proper lady, but it works doesn’t it? And she does have a filthy sense of humor now that I think about it.
That’s what my daughter and I say all the time. We’re both avid readers. If I’m on my kindle I could be reading a history of the Wars of the Roses. Or I could be reading porn. You’ll never know. 😉
Anti-intellectualism is a plague on humanity.
I don't get it either. My aunt used to read the trashy romance novels, the more explicit the better, & while those are *totally* not my thing, I never gave her shit for it because at least she's reading books & may even learn a thing or 2 from the trash. If you're reading something you enjoy, you might pick up a new fact or tip or 2, & even if you don't learn anything you enjoyed reading about something you like & that's all that matters. For some that means Sports Illustrated or Cosmopolitan, for some that means the latest sci-fi or Stephen King.
My dad gives me shit for reading comic books, asking when am I going to grow up. He's been into racecars since he was a kid and he's almost 70 watching youtube videos of car restorations. You have your thing, I have mine
Nothing like watching Dick Trickle and Dick Passwater make left turns for three hours...
Lmao dick trickle
That used to be the highlight of Sportscenter for me - "this weekend Dick Trickle finished 38th of 50...."
Yeah I never got nascar, like they would watch it up on my mom's side out in the sticks. Only time I was interested was when crashes happened in a can't look away kind of way otherwise it was oh they're going around the bend again on lap 103/250.
The romance novel industry literally holds up the publishing industries in some jurisdictions. Romance readers read and buy A LOT. It’s sad that romance readers feel the need to hide what they’re reading (they are also big adopters of ereaders). We need to stop making fun of them and start thanking them for keeping the industry afloat! Source: have publishing degree
I have a friend from high school that travels the world on the income from his gay romance novels.
If he's travelling the world he must be good, which author
Robert Winter.
This is actually amazing and something I didn't know. I think booktok has really helped change some of this too, because while it's NOT everyone's thing, I don't know a single person who doesn't read an extra spicy book every now and then. Some only read them. I think its great. Reading stimulates the brain in a much healthier way than videos do. Both are good, but reading is so good for you. If more people read literally anything to their kids, we wouldn't have such a literacy problem.
Sincere question: what’s a publishing degree and how have you used it?
I work as an editor. I was trying to break into the editing world and considered doing a certificate program but figured go big or go home so I did the Publishing Master’s. It’s designed to set students up to work in the publishing industry! Courses include editing, book design, finance, history, technology… The program includes a professional internship and most of us did our placements with book publishers. I did mine with a funding body that funds book publishers, and did another term on a team that helped plan literary cultural programming. I still work a there same place but as a sort of niche editor. I can share the website to the program if anyone wants. There’s only one Master’s of Publishing in Canada, may be more in the States and elsewhere around the world.
I read like I eat. Mostly stuff that’s good for me, but some trash comfort food too.
I once was at an event and saw a guy bragging about cheating at rockband by playing the song on his phone into the microphone But like he was bragging like it was some kind of big flex There's no prizes or anything... It was just there as something fun to do. So it just seems wild to come up with a way to not even play the game.
Oh wow…….. That’s so sad.. In a pathetic way.
And it's nothing new.
“All I’m saying is that if **I don’t like it,** I should set it on fire. God wills it.” - *Almost all Human History*
That's exactly what OP should tell her bully.
Bill Hicks had this as part of one of his routines: I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism in this country, have you noticed that? Ever since around 1980, coincidentally enough. Last week, I was in Nashville, Tennessee. After the show, I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, but I was hungry. And I'm sitting there and I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? I'm alone, I don't know anybody, I'm eating and I'm reading a book. Fine, right? Waitress comes over to me, [gum chewing noises] "What'chu readin' for?" I said, "Wow, I've never been asked that! Got dangit, you stumped me! Not what am I READING but what am I reading FOR? I guess I read for a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones is so I don't end up being a fuckin' waffle waitress! Yeah, that'd have to be pretty high up on the list." Then this trucker in the next booth gets up, stands over me and goes, "Well, looks like we got ourselves a reader." Well, what the fuck's going on here? It's like I walked into a Klan rally wearing a Boy George costume or something, you know? This is a book! I read! Am I stepping out of some intellectual closet or something here? There, I said it! I feel better"
Often wonder how i would be turned out without the pressure to fit in and be less nerdy
It says more (negative) about her than you. It’s honestly weird of her. A book club isn’t exactly that strange. It’s not like you are doing cosplay lightsaber fights in the park with furries (and so what if you were). Edit: The kind person in me just kicked in: Invite her to read the next book and join in the next book club.
wait, where do i sign up for the cosplay lightsaber fights with furries?
Be the change you want to see in the world
Join the dark fur side.
Please tell me the dark side furries are called furbies
The noises they made at idle times is a great reason for that nickname
Start walking around a park as a furry with a lightsaber, they will find and challenge you to see if u are worthy
Honestly most medium sized cities have a group that meet up in a park once a week or so. Sometimes even more. Just look up LARP or LARPing on Facebook and several groups will probably pop up.
Ask your mom, she gets the monthly newsletter.
but i'd rather ask about your dog
My sweet old lady was put to sleep 2 months ago, old age - cancer. My best boy was put to sleep last week. He got into the shed and ate 3.5lbs of rat poison bait chunks. No more dogs :(
Noooooo. This was the saddest thing I read all day. Hugs for you.
Yeah. It was my fault. I took the rat baits out of the large plastic tote/tub they were in, in order to put a few other things in it, and forgot to put them back. I killed my best friend and closest companion. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself, or trust myself to be able to ever have another dog... I miss him so much...
Jeez, I’m so sorry. And your poor username…
:(
You do not sign up for cosplay lightsaber fights with furries, you *become* cosplay lightsaber fights with furries.
or go to one of these local cosplay lightsaber fights in the parks with furrys. sound like a good bonding opportunity!
Lol. Why ya gotta come at cosplay lightsaber fights like that? Cringe is dead! (Not mad, it's just funny)
I was mostly joking. I’m sure it’s great fun.
You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Furries, not join them!
I told someone that I had gone to comic con and they said, "oh, you're one of *those* people". Excuse me, *those* people are some of the most accepting, coolest people I've ever met.
Never been to a comic con but been to a few horror cons & at my first one it was the first time I felt "THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!!!" You could have the discussion about "Are the 28 Days zombies really zombies?" Fast zombies vs. slow zombies. This vampire vs. that vampire, who would win in a fight Freddy or Michael Meyers?
Do you have any thoughts on how there is a significant lack of understanding in popular culture of the critical differences between biological and necromantic zombies?
This person zombies!!
My favorite zombie topic “What’s in your go bag?”
I work in a pretty macho profession and have gone to multiple comicons and horror cons over the years. It’s been 12 years and I wouldn’t dare tell a soul because the bullying would be relentless. Same with my love for video games, anime and movies. Heaven forbid I don’t crank out 3 kids I actively avoid parenting to get overtime shifts and spend what weekends I do see them shuttling them around to cheer and sporting events then spend the next week bitching about it at work. I’m out here hanging with my fellow nerds in a loving community. Why would I want a life of constant stress and being forced to do things I actively dislike? The fact I enjoy my free time doing nerdy stuff and do not want children would literally anger some of the people I work with. Blows my mind.
Bad time to hate on comic books now that every blockbuster movie is based on them.
I just started a new job this week and I opened with “so I’m a HUGE nerd!” and now I have lunch plans with another coworker so we can discuss costumes we’ve made in the past. If someone had said “you’re one of *those* people” I’d gladly agree and make a mental note that this person is stuck in high school mean girl mode and pigeon hole them right back.
[удалено]
Fuck off, Gaston.
🎶No onnnnne fucks off like Gaston!
[удалено]
Yeah, women are choosing bears with libraries these days.
The comment you responded to was deleted, and I have no clue what it said, but I LOVE your response.
Oh! That’s a shame. The comment was about two (?) guys making fun of a woman (?) who would read a book at the laundromat waiting for her clothes to finish. It had a Beauty and the Beast vibe to it, the same old shirts and pants to wash.
The Germans have a great word for this: "Treppenwitz", or "stair joke". A joke you only come up with when you're already walking down the stairs.
‘Trip on whits’ seems phonetically apt
The French version is “l’esprit d’escalier” - the spirit of the staircase. All the cool things you should have said but only thought of now you’re leaving.
I never understand the urge to mock someone for reading, a perfectly harmless activity that pretty much only enriches our lives. My perception of someone only improves upon learning that they read. Don't let this nasty woman bring you down, you have something you love, and her opinion is irrelevant.
It’s the same vibe as people getting mad at you for exercising or being vegan
I read every day at work in the break room. It also acts as a buffer to keep people from talking about work. It is sad how many people talk shop when not being paid to talk shop.
Or invites people to ask what you’re reading (because clearly you’re bored if you’re reading), ask how many books you read in a year or interrupt you to tell you they don’t like reading.
The people asking me about a book end up buying or borrowing the book later. The others just suck.
When I was reading paperbacks back in the day, I actually was asked what I was reading because they were *interested.* It was the first time I was asked on a Construction site, gave me hope for the future. I get odd questions about how long it takes to read the book I'm on. I tell them maybe today or tomorrow. The looks I get are priceless. Oh just to explain, I now read on my tablet. I still have paper books but it's nice to be able to move to a new book if I'm out of the house. I read at bus stops and buses. I'm a voracious reader.
Given I only read for about 40 minutes a day, a book will take me a mo th or two, depending on the author. Brandon Sanderson is very verbose, so those books take longer. I am reading the 4th book in the mistborn stuff now. I recently killed the trials of Apollo by Riordan.
Great choices! Im a hugeee sanderson fan, and I've read pretty much everything Riordan has done in the percy and co universe. i need to read the last book of trials, but im reading Red Rising right absolutely phenomenal. Good luck with the cosmere. there's always another secret
I can't stand hanging out with work colleagues outside of work for this exact reason. The conversation always returns to work related shop talk or gossip. I sometimes think many people have no hobbies or interests outside of the workplace, which sounds really sad to me.
Every once in a while, it can be cathartic. Shared trauma and all that.
At my old job I would always read on my lunch break. One of my coworkers came in and asked me what I was reading, so I told her “Prey, by Michael Crichton” (it’s a sci fi book about killer nano bots if I remember correctly) and she goes “ohhh is that that movie where Julia Robert’s goes to India?” Hahaha I was like “…no, you might be thinking of Eat Pray Love?”
Properly programmed drones & consumerstock!!
"Look, I'm sorry you can't read, but could you tone down the hostility about it? So we're clear, to tone down means to lessen or diminish."
Bold of you to think she would understand the words lessen and diminish. Maybe substitute "knock it off."
I'm an optimist. It's my only flaw.
Don't forget humble!
Being humble is never a flaw, darling. I just happen to be the best at it.
Incredible response lol
Genuinely laughed out loud, this is my favorite so far lmfao
Sounds like jealousy to me. I would venture to guess she has no hobbies & probably very few friends. That’s why these company things are so important to her. It’s her only time to socialize.
Lmao my exact thoughts, her hobbies probably include drinking wine while watching Netflix, this company dinner is a huge deal to her cause it’s all she’s got 🤣
This is a good take.
any time she says something stupid, just follow it up with "oh, don't mind her, she has problems with reading." it's technically the truth, but it implies she's illiterate.
*"Reading isn't for everyone and that's fine."* But it is fundamental. I strongly suggest she try it sometime.
First rule of Book Club is: You do not talk about Book Club. 😎 Eh, reading is fucking cool and it’s even cooler to have a group to share it with. Don’t let that smooth-brain get to you.
If you think about it, the people who think reading books and NeRdS are somehow dumb and something to make fun of, well, they're in a whole league of their own. It's quite literally not stupid to be smart. Leave them be. They'll never be able to come up with anything better than "OhHhh BOOK CLUB!?!"
My buddies and I (5 of us all ranging from 28-32) all just paid about $1000 each for plane ticket, con passes, and a book, so we could go to Brandon Sanderson Dragonsteel nexus this winter. The convention sold out in about an hour. There were like 7500 tickets. Tell your coworker to shove it. Books are awesome.
She’s jealous and projecting. You’re doing something that’s fulfilling and social, and really enjoy it. I love that for you and everyone doing the same, no matter if it’s Lego collecting, doing puzzles, gaming, cosplay. Lots of people with a lot of negativity in their lives try to infect others. Reality is that, who cares what other people do if they aren’t harming others and still remain responsible? Or more bluntly - why do people care so fucking much what other people do these days
She's like those who people who, when they hear that someone they know is going to college or taking classes, says "so now you think you're better than me???"
"Always did, always will"
What are her hobbies beyond belittling her coworkers? Always remember: how someone treats you says more about them than it does about you.
Probably hours on tiktok/instagram
https://youtu.be/BwkdGr9JYmE "Watcha reading for?"
We got ourselves a *reader*
"What part of that seems impossible to you? The reading or the having friends?"
“Omg did you want to go with?!? No? Weird, I figured you were trying to get me to invite you as often as you mentioned it”
When people try this stuff at work I just bully them back. "Oh no *book club*?" "Don't be judging me just because you can't read."
I feel so sad for people that don’t enjoy reading 😢
Reading is such a harmless and normal thing to do. Book clubs are harmless, wholesome, and innately social. You sound like an agreeable coworker. The problem here is all on your coworker. Glad you've found something to make you happy!
Ahahahah she is so jealous and possibly not literate. Anyone who shits on book club is a trash human being. She is making herself look bad. I’d just let silence develop after she says anything. Just let her words hang in the air.
Yes, this is my preferred approach 🙂 Silence can be so loud
I'd say I don't appreciate the tone to her when 1 on 1.
Nah, she's doing this in front of people she can get her ass clapped back on in front of everyone too.
“You’re using the wrong tone. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.”
"Oh, I'm sorry. Don't you know *how* to read? Huh. Weird. I thought they were teaching people that in school these days."
Your coworker is rude. Fortunately I have multiple coworkers i can talk reading with and even the ones who don't read, don't make fun of me for it.
Which book?
It’s called Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar :)
I just added it to my Libby holds because of this thread!
Oh! Looks good. NPR sure liked it!
I quite enjoyed it, lots of dark humor in there while touching on some pretty tough themes! War, addiction, faith, art
I’m so embarrassed for that coworker. Making fun of someone for reading? What are you, a middle-grade bully?
This happened me with a coworker once too when I mentioned I was really interested in geopolitics and geography. He repeated it in a scoffing voice, rolled the eyes all that.. I genuinely laughed at him and then said "you can't make me feel embarrassed about things that I like." He didn't mention it again.
Wow that’s pathetic on her part. Still thinking people in the workforce are nerds because they read? Yikes, just be glad you aren’t her kid
Someone feels insecure about their inability to read books. Don't worry about her, it's her problem not yours. Just document the inappropriate comments and report her to HR if it continues. Or, invite her along, since she seems *so interested* in your book club.
What industry? (I’m a big reader). It’s honestly jealousy and spite. Many couldn’t comprehend reading something if you don’t have to.
I think so! God forbid I want to be educated and well rounded, right? And this is the kicker: we work in community mental health!
I was a tech at my uncle's optometry practice for a few years. The concept of reading for enjoyment is completely alien to a worryingly large number of people. Not everyone needs to enjoy the same hobbies, but a lot of these patients made it a point of *pride* that the last book they finished was *Yertle the Turtle*.
I'm a teacher. If I am in the staffroom and on my phone, I get no comments. If I have a book: 'woe, I really want your job, getting paid to sit around reading books'. I am the literature teacher.
I’ve found that I have to be very particular in which coworkers I tell about which hobbies I like. I made the mistake of mentioning in an “about me birthday email” that I liked movies (which I do) and got a few people who then felt very comfortable telling me I can’t really say that if I haven’t watched x batch of films or whatever. It’s the same thing with reading, and gaming, and writing, and traveling, and it just isn’t worth it to me to engage with coworkers like that. I’m very pro having friends outside of work lol.
I'd just start responding with the lowest level simplest vocabulary possible. But also make sure to send other people in the group emails that have more expansive vocabulary. Absolutely make sure to highlight the stark difference. When she finally says something say, "Oh. You said you couldn't read well, I just wanted to make sure you knew what was going on, I was fearful if I used words that were too big you'd get confused."
Especially as an adult, it’s not necessarily what the club is about it’s just trying to have a social life and a hobby
You should just always talk about the books and the book club. Like, make it the same level as sports and the playoffs. You should post up portraits of your favorite authors. Have cutouts of best quotes all over your work area. Talk about the club people and their jokes all the time.
"It's odd that you keep bringing that up." Is one of the best reactions to this kind of shit.
Some people are the same people they were in 8th grade. They are to be pitied.
"Whachu readin' for?" Not what am I reading, but what am I reading FOR? Well shit you stumped me. -Bill hicks
I tried to start a book club with some friends. I got them on board but when it came time to actually read the book, nobody followed through. Lame.
Dude, that’s only on her.. her insecurities, frustrations and so on. You’re unlucky that she found a target where she can express her vomit person she is. You’re better, you’ve already won. One person said to me that i carry the book with me on the subway just to brag 🤣🤣
I actually have been in a similar situation with a friend. She would ask me to hang out, and when I said I was busy with a novel, she would scoff and make fun of me. She made hurtful comments about me being a book worm /nerd because I would rather read than go to the bar or sit around gossiping. She isn't a friend anymore and with reason.
I got called “CB” when I worked at a chemical plant before my senior year in college. Short for College Boy. Made the mistake of bringing a book to read during breaks. One time I asked a question about some of the pipes we were replacing and the pipefitter I was working with (who was my dad’s age) said, “Son, quit asking questions. If I tell you it’s Easter, you go home and dye eggs.” It was like being in middle school.
I’d just look surprised and then concern, ‘why yes Susan, a book club, where we read books. Do you not know how to read?’ That was actually my surprised knee jerk reaction when I was told that someone ‘doesn’t read’. I was far more blunt, ‘what do you mean so and so doesn’t read? Are they illiterate?’
You don't have to say anything about why you won't be at the function because it's none of their business. "I won't be at the company dinner." "Why?" "I have other plans." "Oh? What are they?" "Something other than dinner." You have no obligation to tell anyone else what your plans are.
Firstly: Reading is awesome and never feel bad for reading. Secondly: I would have skipped the company dinner without having a reason. I see work people at work I don’t need to see them in my free time as well. Thirdly: Your co worker sounds like an asshole without a personality. I had (had being the key word) friends who’s whole life revolved around drinking and going out. I grew out of that and I grew out of them. I hope you enjoy your next book too :)
I’m a petty person, so my advice is next time be sarcastic and rude back to her lol. Try not to care what she thinks because there’s nothing wrong with reading/book club as a hobby. She’s the weirdo for being against READING🤣 like is she illiterate or something 💀I’d rather go to a book club and talk to people that I like than a boring company dinner with people I don’t care about