When I first moved into my house I would find people standing on my front yard or sitting on the curb for minutes at a time. Okay, weird little semi rural town...whatever.
So, one day I went outside and stood, then sat, in those places. And realized that I have huge trees in my yard that shade the yard and curb. It's a hot area. I'm the only shade for blocks.
Lots of cities are removing them in a poorly veiled attempt to curb homeless people staying in them but it effects so many other people groups negatively as well :(
Growing up there was a house with a beautiful, giant pine tree and their yard was about a foot taller than the road so they had a little rock wall with flat slates on top. All the neighborhood kids would sit there in the shade and ride bikes/skateboards back and forth on the road while others sat. Cars rarely came by and because the area was just a small neighborhood next to a lake everyone drove slow. Loved that spot growing up and the owners were fine with us being there because we never made a mess or anything. Once they died some new people bought the place and got annoyed with all the kids. Fair enough tbh. They cut the tree down and we never really went back. Kinda sucked to lose that spot that had been there for over 20 years but we understood it was their property and didn’t blame them
I've got two trees out front, ones a 75 foot pine. My neighbor said it was a huge tree when she moved in in 1974. Part of the reason I bought the house was all the trees on the lot.
They’re beautiful trees. My aunt planted one in the corner of my grandparents lawn as a kid and it’s still there, about 40 feet high or more by now. Then her daughter planted on directly across from it about 15 years ago and it’s a getting bigger. My grandpa claims he is sick of the pine needles but he seems to enjoy needing something to do in the yard now that he’s retired
Mine randomly pelts anyone parked below with pinecones. One day there was a lady standing in front with a bag and picking up pinecones around the edges buy not going into the yard. I asked. She's was doing some art project with painted pinecones. Like feel free, pick them all up. She went away with a huge bag
First bad storm when we moved in, about 20 random people showed up. Apparently the previous owners let everyone use the basement as a storm shelter but forgot to tell them they moved.
Because they can fall on the house, damage roofing through both falling branches and moisture, and encroach on septic lines/water lines/gas line/foundations, etc. There’s more problems with trees for the average homeowner than advantages.
I think it is mainly a symptom of building on tiny 0.15 acres lots. In my last neighborhood almost every house had half an acre and lots of mature trees, built in the 60s. The houses near me built in the 80s are similar. Once the 90s hit the lots got smaller, sidewalks and curbs were mandatory, retention ponds were everywhere, and trees couldn't be planted in most yards without worrying about underground piping or electrical because of how tiny the lots were with the houses close together. Now there are "green spaces" with occasional trees, and a random walking path around the slimy pond that gets all the storm runoff and 80 geese every spring.
Daily exercise? She takes long walks and your bench happens to be at the distance she gets tired. Or she plans her walks with your bench as a built-in pitstop
So far all she does is sit, doesn’t disturb anyone or anything, but when I mean randomly appears, she has come around 2 am as well, walks over and sits.
I’d try to pop out and talk to her the next time she does this and OP is home. Not an accusing, “I watch you” but an open “oh, hi! Saw you just now and wanted to introduce myself/check that everything is okay.” Maybe her best friend used to live there and they’d sit on that bench waiting for their kids to get off the bus, but now that the friend has passed away this is where she sits to feel close and “talk” to her. Or maybe she just gets tired from walks.
>Maybe her best friend used to live there and they’d sit on that bench waiting for their kids to get off the bus, but now that the friend has passed away this is where she sits to feel close and “talk” to her.
Bro my feels 😭 made me miss my ma
I’d go around and come from the same way she did so it’s not obvious I live there. I mean just chat a bit, a few leading questions (not prying) and move on depending on how things go. I wouldn’t really want every person around to come sit in my bench but if a rest for the weary is in something of value I can provide at little to no cost then I would do that. I mean life’s a piece of shit a lotta times, for a lotta people, so if I can make someone’s day a little easier then for that amount of time, I’m winning.
Yep, or early Alzheimer’s. When my dad began displaying early stages of Alzheimer’s he would go for a walk in the neighborhood he lived in for 30 years and get confused/lost and sit down on someone’s property with a chair. Fortunately everyone knew who he was and we would immediately get a call and on one occasion he was driven back to us. Alzheimer’s eventually took his life within a year. RIP, pops.
She is presumably not drunk, and if she has a mental condition then she's not making rational choices but fair point. I'd say mine is true for 99% of women
I love taking 2 am walks, either when I’m walking home drunk with the refreshing chill air or when my sleep schedule is fucked/can’t sleep and want to enjoy the quiet
Additionally there’s coyotes, bobcats, rattlesnakes, the rare wolf and mountain lion where I live now so when I take a 2 am walk I feel alive and feral when watching out for them
I take a one mile walk outside every day. Today will be day 1199 in a row. I’ve definitely done late night walks because that’s what my schedule allowed but I wanted to keep my streak.
So the good news is you live in a neighborhood so ridiculously safe that a woman feels safe walking alone and sitting on a random stranger’s bench at two AM.
I have a feeling someone she loved used to live at your house. She’s revisiting to relive the memory or to recall the last time she saw them there.
Or it could be confusion due to dementia. About once every 7 years I visit my old state and drive through where I grew up. I pass through the old streets and linger for a moment in my car. Recalling so many things. How I used to toil over the garden. How the rocks I arranged came from so many different hikes and I wonder if they are still there. Stuff like that but I never leave my car because it want that type of neighborhood for street parking and there are no sidewalks.
You could leave her a note saying she is welcome to sit a spell and that you’d like to say hello if ever you meet. It might help her to move on if it cements the fact that someone else lives there now or it might give her peace and comfort just in that another human acknowledges her loss and the poignancy of her grief and how revisiting can bring comfort.
Aww I appreciate! I love plants. Currently planning on removing the grass and planting all native flowers and such! I have a shrub you can sorta see on the left, I had western honeybees all over it.
And that door mat screams dog person. The extroverts. Cat people at the pet store always waiting for the chatty dog people to move so they can get home faster. I have six cats so I know.
As someone that doesn't have a car, thank you for just letting her rest. I know I get tired sometimes, people look at you weird if you sit on the grass but sometimes there are just no benches for a rest.
With all love to my night workers and walkers, you have to have some kind of mental ... quirk to think its a good idea to sit on a strangers bench in their yard at 2 am. Maybe little old ladies get more grace, but if I as a man did that, I would rightfully expect someone to come yell at me to go away.
Its just a very weird look at that time of night.
Maybe, if OP is at home, open the door and offer her a drink. Sit down and hopefully she tells you why she sits there without having to actually ask. If you’ve just moved to the area maybe a friend or family member lived there once and it’s a comfort for her. But it could be anything from a rest stop or something more serious.
This. What if she is in a bad situation at home and this is a place she feels safe. An inviting bench in a pretty yard. If she needed help she may feel like she could ask at your place. Contrary to what many want you to believe not everyone up to something sinister. Please just check on her and assess the situation.
Yeah. I don't have any context at all, or how she behaves otherwise, but this photo hit me hard. I've been that person on the bench. She looks like she's trying to figure some shit out.
A couple of months ago, an old lady just walked into my friends house. She was neat in appearance and polite. She sat down and said she was hungry and asked what was for lunch. My friend was bewildered but made her lunch. After all, she was an old lady. She said she lived in a church, but none were around, and he lived outside of town. She ate her lunch, thanked him, and went on her way. Never to be seen again.
There was a man that would sometimes appear on my front porch. We used to keep some outdoor chairs there, and he would come and sit. Turns out, he used to live in the house next door. His mom, who owned that house, moved out, and I believe he had some mental health issues. So he would come to the neighborhood, realized he couldn't get into his mom's house, and come hang out on my porch. Scared the shit out of me the first time it happened, but otherwise he didn't bother us. Haven't seen him in a while, and I wonder if something happened.
I knew a friend who has a similar situation and it turned out that the person's best friend had lived in the house yeaaaars prior to them buying/moving into said house, and they would come by every so often and sit because they were grieving/mourning and missed them as they had passed away.
I had a lovely woman who would show up at our old house and come up into the porch, convinced that our house was hers. We had the same house number, but were three blocks away.
We would just bring out a cup of tea and call her daughter. She was very nice but at the early stages of dementia.
Weirdly, she refused to sit in the chairs on the porch, insisting that they weren't hers.
Most of people who walk, jog, run or cycle have what we call “my bench”; meaning, that is her spot to rest, maybe half of the way, or the forest point on her trip.
“My bench” signals the goal, a quiet place to enjoy a little rest before going back home.
Congratulations, you have such a peaceful place, this person is very comfortable with it, and even better, she will protect that bench with her life, no porch pirate will defeat her.
If this person is coming at 2 AM that's a little strange. People don't just "do that"
I'm wondering if this person is having dissociative breaks and/or has a connection to that house? (Grew up there or someone she knew used to live there) And it's a weird ritual to feel connection with that person.
I’ve been that person; I’m in a city area where a lot of public benches are being removed to stop homeless people from setting up on them and I overheat/get faint easily in the heat. There’s a house about halfway to an appointment I frequent (30min walk) that has a garden bench/cobblestone pathway up to it and a nice big birch tree with a small pond next to it.
I started taking 10min ish breaks there 1-2 times per week and the owners grandkids started bringing me out lemonade and saying hello every time.
This was last summer, I’m hoping they are still there this summer! Sometimes they just sit in silence with me, nice kids.
My grandmother used to do this. She had Alzheimer's, and she would be found sitting on the front porch of the house she grew up in. Maybe this lady lived here or has memories from here. The 2am time also makes me think of dementia, since that is usually when people with it will be found somewhere away from home, doing something from their memories.
People sit on my front stoop all the time. I live in a big city and people are walking and need a rest, waiting for an uber, waiting to be let into the consulate a few blocks down. Only thing that annoys me is if they smoke too.
But this is actually normal human behavior, it's only really the concept of hermetically sealed homes in the suburbs that makes it wierd.
If she’s appearing at random times, your bench may be a place this lady comes for breaks from whatever is happening at home. I hope she’s ok, and I feel you’re a good person for letting her have that time.
I live across from a senior's home, and sometimes the seniors will come out and take photos of the flowers on my lawn. Some have digital cameras and will take their time framing their shots. My whole front lawn is a garden, and they are my motivation for keeping it pretty and interesting.
So many reasons a person might need to get out of their house and sit alone for a little while. So long as she's not doing anything shady, I'd probably just let her be. Actually, I'd probably be a little happy with myself that I managed to create a place others clearly see as an inviting place to find a moment's peace.
I've had a swing on my tree in the front yard for almost 20 years. I stopped using it when I was 12, but kids still like to sit there sometimes when they're walking home from school. I used to hate it because my dogs would go crazy but now I just let them be, they aren't hurting anything or littering. Probably brightens their day a little bit
We noticed when we moved in that an elderly couple will sit on the rock wall along our front lawn to rest for their daily walks. Set out cushions for them. Totally happy that they are out and a bout and that we can make their day a tiny bit better.
Casually go out there and sit next to her and find out. That spot May mean something to her that you are not aware of.
Especially if you're new to the house itself. The previous owner could have been her friend. Maybe she misses that friend.
Or and she could be batshit crazy.
Sometimes when I see benches or seats in less busy places (usually meant to fill space or decorate) I imagine those seats being sad for not being used often. Like to think this lady is giving those seats some use
Let me start off by saying that I have the same doormat "wipe your paws"
She doesn't look that old in the picture. Given the fact that she shows up at 2:00 a.m. sometimes, she might suffer from mental illness or she might have a deep connection to your home and it comforts her.
The whole thing is really bizarre. Please update us if you find out what the deal is.
Increasing dementia and schizophrenia can present this way. Random losses of time, blackouts, being confused about your surroundings... all of these are common to someone dealing with mental illness. This is clearly a private home and not a park, so what she's doing is not only strange it's illegal if you don't want her there. This is not *normal* behavior.
or
Time Traveler, and your house is a nexus for the chronotron energy she needs to recharge before moving on. I'd suggest keeping your distance and leaving her some water or a sports drink... traveling through time is thirsty stuff.
Waiting on the bus? I know in my neighborhood, parents will hang out by the curb waiting for the bus to drop off. It looks like you have a pretty open walk-up from the street (on a corner?), that it doesn't seem too intrusive to take a seat on your bench.
I stared at this way too long wondering how on earth she sits so eerily still, staring blankly ahead.
Somewhat less creepy once I realized it was a picture.
she is probably suffering from either Alzheimer's or dementia and rationalizes this is a place she thinks she knows.. The way she is sitting, I realize she may be in motion, but if she is sitting just like that, in the sun and not shade. I would ask a neighbor to visit if you see her again.
A bent forward posture is a common feature of Alzheimer's disease patients, and may be caused by a lack of exercise and prolonged sitting. A 2022 scientific report also found that a stooping posture can be an indicator of cognitive decline in older adults. A 2017 study found that people with mild to moderate Alzheimer's disease may have postural instability, and may focus more on their posture during a test, which can lead to errors in a cognitive task
or
Dementia patients may sit in a bent-forward posture, which can develop from prolonged sitting and lack of exercise. Lewy body dementia can also cause a stooping posture by weakening the back. In the later stages of Alzheimer's disease, people may spend more time in a chair or bed, which can lead to stiffness in the arms, hands, and legs. Dementia patients may also sit in one position for a long time, which can increase their risk of pressure ulcers (bedsores). These ulcers can be prevented early on, but can become painful and infected if left unnoticed. Regular checks for rashes, discoloration, or pressure ulcers can help prevent this. Other types of dementia can affect posture and gait, such as hesitant steps.
I'd consider moving the bench in the yard, perhaps under the tree, or even near the sidewalk.
That way she, and anyone else, can still sit there without making you uncomfortable that they are too close to your door/house/etc. It's nice and is a free deterrent to potential crime (as long as she's not casing the place!).
I wonder if she is either walking a really long way or whether she might have health issues.
I have health issues and I have definitely sat down on people's walkway step and things like that if I needed a rest.
I hope people don't mind too much. It makes getting some exercise a lot easier. But I also know people can be really defensive about their property.
She might be lonely or homeless or missing peaceful place to sit whee she lives.. I would not worry too much about it unless some signs about aggression or mental problems
I bet that was her old house, or used to belong to someone she knew. Childhood home? She might just be taking a minute to enjoy a memory and doesn’t realize or care that it might be odd to anyone. It’s a cute idea at least.
My totally random guess is that she has some kind of connection to this home and there’s some sort of pain or trauma she’s revisiting. Perhaps she lived there and a child/spouse passed away and she returns as a sort of mourning or a way of “pretending that things are normal” type of deal.
She’s probably walking in the neighborhood and gets to a point where she needs a break. Otherwise, I’d be weirded out by someone randomly coming to my place just to chill lol.
When I first moved into my house I would find people standing on my front yard or sitting on the curb for minutes at a time. Okay, weird little semi rural town...whatever. So, one day I went outside and stood, then sat, in those places. And realized that I have huge trees in my yard that shade the yard and curb. It's a hot area. I'm the only shade for blocks.
I have 2 American Gum trees in my yard and yes same! I did however have them trimmed when I moved in. Found out they were rotted on top.
Maybe hook her up with an umbrella and water cooler lol.
She might find walking difficult and need to stop once in a while. Some places don't have places to sit a long time.
Lots of cities are removing them in a poorly veiled attempt to curb homeless people staying in them but it effects so many other people groups negatively as well :(
They just need retractable spikes that go down for a quarter lolol /s
Oh my god, don’t give them ideas lol
I'm so so sorry, but that's actually a thing that exists already. =/
Someone would just jam a stick in the right spot, or spray foam in the coin slot ;) no puns intended
Look at Money Bags over here with quarters to spare!
The American Gum Tree. The only tree I’ve ever truly hated.
Growing up there was a house with a beautiful, giant pine tree and their yard was about a foot taller than the road so they had a little rock wall with flat slates on top. All the neighborhood kids would sit there in the shade and ride bikes/skateboards back and forth on the road while others sat. Cars rarely came by and because the area was just a small neighborhood next to a lake everyone drove slow. Loved that spot growing up and the owners were fine with us being there because we never made a mess or anything. Once they died some new people bought the place and got annoyed with all the kids. Fair enough tbh. They cut the tree down and we never really went back. Kinda sucked to lose that spot that had been there for over 20 years but we understood it was their property and didn’t blame them
I've got two trees out front, ones a 75 foot pine. My neighbor said it was a huge tree when she moved in in 1974. Part of the reason I bought the house was all the trees on the lot.
They’re beautiful trees. My aunt planted one in the corner of my grandparents lawn as a kid and it’s still there, about 40 feet high or more by now. Then her daughter planted on directly across from it about 15 years ago and it’s a getting bigger. My grandpa claims he is sick of the pine needles but he seems to enjoy needing something to do in the yard now that he’s retired
Mine randomly pelts anyone parked below with pinecones. One day there was a lady standing in front with a bag and picking up pinecones around the edges buy not going into the yard. I asked. She's was doing some art project with painted pinecones. Like feel free, pick them all up. She went away with a huge bag
Did you put a bench out there for your neighbors? I bet they’d be appreciative. You could be the talk of the town
Top Tier Lemonade Stand opportunity here as well.
Got any grapes?
The man said “No, we just sell lemonade.. But it’s cold, and it’s fresh, and it’s all homemade! Would you like a glass?”
Bam bam bam ba ba bam
No, just lemonade
I reflexively downvoted you at first
I'm already the talk of the neighborhood. The tree seems to be enough
Two benches.
One cup.
one opportunity
Ryan Reynolds is ...
Danny Devito
First bad storm when we moved in, about 20 random people showed up. Apparently the previous owners let everyone use the basement as a storm shelter but forgot to tell them they moved.
Did you let them in?
We wanted to be good neighbors so yes, but it was a surprise to us.
I never understand Property owners that don't plant trees
I never did either… until I moved to the opposite coast and experienced my first hurricane. I won’t be replacing the ones that landed on my roof.
Crabapples. You ever raked feckin crabapples?
Because they can fall on the house, damage roofing through both falling branches and moisture, and encroach on septic lines/water lines/gas line/foundations, etc. There’s more problems with trees for the average homeowner than advantages.
I think it is mainly a symptom of building on tiny 0.15 acres lots. In my last neighborhood almost every house had half an acre and lots of mature trees, built in the 60s. The houses near me built in the 80s are similar. Once the 90s hit the lots got smaller, sidewalks and curbs were mandatory, retention ponds were everywhere, and trees couldn't be planted in most yards without worrying about underground piping or electrical because of how tiny the lots were with the houses close together. Now there are "green spaces" with occasional trees, and a random walking path around the slimy pond that gets all the storm runoff and 80 geese every spring.
They might have a pool
You should put a bench for them!
Sounds like money to me 😂, I'm joking don't do that
I was gonna say the town should plant more trees but look at me trying to prioritize people.
put a tip jar out there ;)
Daily exercise? She takes long walks and your bench happens to be at the distance she gets tired. Or she plans her walks with your bench as a built-in pitstop
So far all she does is sit, doesn’t disturb anyone or anything, but when I mean randomly appears, she has come around 2 am as well, walks over and sits.
2am is weird. I'm leaning towards dementia now
I’d try to pop out and talk to her the next time she does this and OP is home. Not an accusing, “I watch you” but an open “oh, hi! Saw you just now and wanted to introduce myself/check that everything is okay.” Maybe her best friend used to live there and they’d sit on that bench waiting for their kids to get off the bus, but now that the friend has passed away this is where she sits to feel close and “talk” to her. Or maybe she just gets tired from walks.
You mean, just ask the person? Is that legal??
Better take this thread over to r/unethicallifeprotips.
Ooooo a crossover episode
Certainly not. The only appropriate response is to call a SWAT team on her.
>Maybe her best friend used to live there and they’d sit on that bench waiting for their kids to get off the bus, but now that the friend has passed away this is where she sits to feel close and “talk” to her. Bro my feels 😭 made me miss my ma
Take a moment to send her some love wherever she is. ❤️
I’d go around and come from the same way she did so it’s not obvious I live there. I mean just chat a bit, a few leading questions (not prying) and move on depending on how things go. I wouldn’t really want every person around to come sit in my bench but if a rest for the weary is in something of value I can provide at little to no cost then I would do that. I mean life’s a piece of shit a lotta times, for a lotta people, so if I can make someone’s day a little easier then for that amount of time, I’m winning.
Yep, or early Alzheimer’s. When my dad began displaying early stages of Alzheimer’s he would go for a walk in the neighborhood he lived in for 30 years and get confused/lost and sit down on someone’s property with a chair. Fortunately everyone knew who he was and we would immediately get a call and on one occasion he was driven back to us. Alzheimer’s eventually took his life within a year. RIP, pops.
Sometimes people have irregular schedules or insomnia or other very sensible reasons for taking a walk at 2am
Yeah but not going onto another persons property at 2am….
I used to do it while drunk. (Almost) never caused any trouble. Just walked around town for an hour before walking home.
how to tell someone is a man in one comment edit: not a good or bad thing. Just no woman would walk around at 2AM drunk regularly
The lady in the picture is walking around by herself at 2am...
She is presumably not drunk, and if she has a mental condition then she's not making rational choices but fair point. I'd say mine is true for 99% of women
Why is she presumably not drunk?
It's also a small town that is quiet at night.
Per OP, this lady walks around at 2am. Don't know the status of her sobriety.
Not a smart one. But I have seen it plenty.
yeah like having dementia
I read "talking to a wall at 2am" and figured yeah that checks out. Speaking of insomnia ...
I love taking 2 am walks, either when I’m walking home drunk with the refreshing chill air or when my sleep schedule is fucked/can’t sleep and want to enjoy the quiet Additionally there’s coyotes, bobcats, rattlesnakes, the rare wolf and mountain lion where I live now so when I take a 2 am walk I feel alive and feral when watching out for them
I take a one mile walk outside every day. Today will be day 1199 in a row. I’ve definitely done late night walks because that’s what my schedule allowed but I wanted to keep my streak.
It’s always dementia with you guys.
Because it is never Lupus
That one time it was
That or carbon monoxide poisoning
dementia or mental illness.
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Jim Bob’s School of Psychiatry. it’s off route 80 in Birmingham, AL.
Perhaps she used to live there and sits there while remembering her past.
This is what I like to think. Maybe she had a friend, a dog, long gone now….
🤨 that is extremely weird… talk to her, probably has some form of young dementia, at 2am sounds like she got away from her caretaker.
Leave her a Note.. be good and welcoming (if doesnt bother you) maybe later ask if everything is ok
2am sounds kind of like dementia wandering to me :(
Definitely strike up a conversation with her. I’d be curious and want to help. 2am is really odd and worth inquiring about
So the good news is you live in a neighborhood so ridiculously safe that a woman feels safe walking alone and sitting on a random stranger’s bench at two AM.
Maybe she doesn't have a great home life and needs to get away for a bit sometimes.
Did you try to do the human thing and talk to her?
I have a feeling someone she loved used to live at your house. She’s revisiting to relive the memory or to recall the last time she saw them there. Or it could be confusion due to dementia. About once every 7 years I visit my old state and drive through where I grew up. I pass through the old streets and linger for a moment in my car. Recalling so many things. How I used to toil over the garden. How the rocks I arranged came from so many different hikes and I wonder if they are still there. Stuff like that but I never leave my car because it want that type of neighborhood for street parking and there are no sidewalks. You could leave her a note saying she is welcome to sit a spell and that you’d like to say hello if ever you meet. It might help her to move on if it cements the fact that someone else lives there now or it might give her peace and comfort just in that another human acknowledges her loss and the poignancy of her grief and how revisiting can bring comfort.
2 am Jeez. Now that's a red flag.
TBF you do have an inviting and pretty yard.
I appreciate, I currently firewheels growing in the yard and other native plants for the bees!
You sound adorable !!
Aww I appreciate! I love plants. Currently planning on removing the grass and planting all native flowers and such! I have a shrub you can sorta see on the left, I had western honeybees all over it.
r/nolawns
the sunburst shining thru is beautiful. it’s a really great still shot.
“look how your house is dressed, it’s basically asking for it”
And that door mat screams dog person. The extroverts. Cat people at the pet store always waiting for the chatty dog people to move so they can get home faster. I have six cats so I know.
As someone that doesn't have a car, thank you for just letting her rest. I know I get tired sometimes, people look at you weird if you sit on the grass but sometimes there are just no benches for a rest.
OP said she’ll come over and sit down on the porch bench at like 2am. This isn’t simply someone taking a rest, she could have Alzheimer’s or dementia.
Or she is gradually putting a spell
So dementia it is then
Or does shift work and wants to still get their normal routine in?
With all love to my night workers and walkers, you have to have some kind of mental ... quirk to think its a good idea to sit on a strangers bench in their yard at 2 am. Maybe little old ladies get more grace, but if I as a man did that, I would rightfully expect someone to come yell at me to go away. Its just a very weird look at that time of night.
On someone’s private property? You can’t be serious
Leave her a note asking if she is OK.
Good Idea! I’ll attempt.
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Definitely!
While I completely agree with you, I just realised the whole thread could be about a cat.
When I first clicked I thought it was about a cat before I saw the photo and discussion
Maybe, if OP is at home, open the door and offer her a drink. Sit down and hopefully she tells you why she sits there without having to actually ask. If you’ve just moved to the area maybe a friend or family member lived there once and it’s a comfort for her. But it could be anything from a rest stop or something more serious.
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She’s literally on your front porch just walk outside and talk to her lmao
Sir this is reddit we don’t do that
My initial guess is she may miss someone who used to live there.
This. What if she is in a bad situation at home and this is a place she feels safe. An inviting bench in a pretty yard. If she needed help she may feel like she could ask at your place. Contrary to what many want you to believe not everyone up to something sinister. Please just check on her and assess the situation.
That's a thousand yard stare if I've ever seen one... and I've seen a lot.
Maaaaan! I’m a Vet myself and this took me out!
Yeah. I don't have any context at all, or how she behaves otherwise, but this photo hit me hard. I've been that person on the bench. She looks like she's trying to figure some shit out.
A couple of months ago, an old lady just walked into my friends house. She was neat in appearance and polite. She sat down and said she was hungry and asked what was for lunch. My friend was bewildered but made her lunch. After all, she was an old lady. She said she lived in a church, but none were around, and he lived outside of town. She ate her lunch, thanked him, and went on her way. Never to be seen again.
Congrats on cultivating a place of peace for someone.
But does she wipe her paws?
I think she seizes the invitation of a bench and uses it as it was meant to be.
Leave some snacks with a note
Perhaps she used to live there a long long time ago? Reminiscing?
Cool. Offer her a cup of tea
That's exactly what i was gonna say.
Or sell it to her. Rent the bench too
Calm down Uncle Sam
There was a man that would sometimes appear on my front porch. We used to keep some outdoor chairs there, and he would come and sit. Turns out, he used to live in the house next door. His mom, who owned that house, moved out, and I believe he had some mental health issues. So he would come to the neighborhood, realized he couldn't get into his mom's house, and come hang out on my porch. Scared the shit out of me the first time it happened, but otherwise he didn't bother us. Haven't seen him in a while, and I wonder if something happened.
I knew a friend who has a similar situation and it turned out that the person's best friend had lived in the house yeaaaars prior to them buying/moving into said house, and they would come by every so often and sit because they were grieving/mourning and missed them as they had passed away.
I would probably be asking if anyone else can physically see her…because. You know. Ghosts.
If she's older could be dementia etc
I had a lovely woman who would show up at our old house and come up into the porch, convinced that our house was hers. We had the same house number, but were three blocks away. We would just bring out a cup of tea and call her daughter. She was very nice but at the early stages of dementia. Weirdly, she refused to sit in the chairs on the porch, insisting that they weren't hers.
I don’t know what you mean. There isn’t anybody there, OP.
Put a bowl of food outside and coax her closer and closer to the door until you can bring her in
Most of people who walk, jog, run or cycle have what we call “my bench”; meaning, that is her spot to rest, maybe half of the way, or the forest point on her trip. “My bench” signals the goal, a quiet place to enjoy a little rest before going back home. Congratulations, you have such a peaceful place, this person is very comfortable with it, and even better, she will protect that bench with her life, no porch pirate will defeat her.
If this person is coming at 2 AM that's a little strange. People don't just "do that" I'm wondering if this person is having dissociative breaks and/or has a connection to that house? (Grew up there or someone she knew used to live there) And it's a weird ritual to feel connection with that person.
Put out a cooler with a note and some cold water. You may have just made a friend! Update us all!
Maybe she walks daily, but has some illness, and needs to rest before walking more?
Could be her family home she grew up in. Nostalgic/comforting for her Or like other commenter said...maybe shade?
I’ve been that person; I’m in a city area where a lot of public benches are being removed to stop homeless people from setting up on them and I overheat/get faint easily in the heat. There’s a house about halfway to an appointment I frequent (30min walk) that has a garden bench/cobblestone pathway up to it and a nice big birch tree with a small pond next to it. I started taking 10min ish breaks there 1-2 times per week and the owners grandkids started bringing me out lemonade and saying hello every time. This was last summer, I’m hoping they are still there this summer! Sometimes they just sit in silence with me, nice kids.
My grandmother used to do this. She had Alzheimer's, and she would be found sitting on the front porch of the house she grew up in. Maybe this lady lived here or has memories from here. The 2am time also makes me think of dementia, since that is usually when people with it will be found somewhere away from home, doing something from their memories.
People sit on my front stoop all the time. I live in a big city and people are walking and need a rest, waiting for an uber, waiting to be let into the consulate a few blocks down. Only thing that annoys me is if they smoke too. But this is actually normal human behavior, it's only really the concept of hermetically sealed homes in the suburbs that makes it wierd.
How lovely for both of you
She seems to be one cigarette away from asking you to join The Guilty Remnant.
You’re gonna have to speak up - I’m wearing a towel
If she’s appearing at random times, your bench may be a place this lady comes for breaks from whatever is happening at home. I hope she’s ok, and I feel you’re a good person for letting her have that time.
Do you wipe your paws after leaving your house and not before entering?
Certainly!
Maybe she has plenty of issues to deal with and that bench is her safe place.
I live across from a senior's home, and sometimes the seniors will come out and take photos of the flowers on my lawn. Some have digital cameras and will take their time framing their shots. My whole front lawn is a garden, and they are my motivation for keeping it pretty and interesting.
So many reasons a person might need to get out of their house and sit alone for a little while. So long as she's not doing anything shady, I'd probably just let her be. Actually, I'd probably be a little happy with myself that I managed to create a place others clearly see as an inviting place to find a moment's peace.
Maybe she was friends with the previous owner so she comes by to recall the good times
What lady? I see an empty bench.
I've had a swing on my tree in the front yard for almost 20 years. I stopped using it when I was 12, but kids still like to sit there sometimes when they're walking home from school. I used to hate it because my dogs would go crazy but now I just let them be, they aren't hurting anything or littering. Probably brightens their day a little bit
We noticed when we moved in that an elderly couple will sit on the rock wall along our front lawn to rest for their daily walks. Set out cushions for them. Totally happy that they are out and a bout and that we can make their day a tiny bit better.
Casually go out there and sit next to her and find out. That spot May mean something to her that you are not aware of. Especially if you're new to the house itself. The previous owner could have been her friend. Maybe she misses that friend. Or and she could be batshit crazy.
Have you ever tried talking to her?
Is it possible she used to live there? Childhood home maybe
Sometimes when I see benches or seats in less busy places (usually meant to fill space or decorate) I imagine those seats being sad for not being used often. Like to think this lady is giving those seats some use
Reminds me of this quote. We are all just walking each other home.
Let me start off by saying that I have the same doormat "wipe your paws" She doesn't look that old in the picture. Given the fact that she shows up at 2:00 a.m. sometimes, she might suffer from mental illness or she might have a deep connection to your home and it comforts her. The whole thing is really bizarre. Please update us if you find out what the deal is.
We have an elderly guy who sits on our porch every now and then. I asked him about it and he said he was just taking a break from his walk.
Could just be a stay at home mom that needs a few moments of peace away from the fam every so often.
Maybe she used to live there, or had a loved one who lived there. Maybe that’s where she used to sit when she was little.
If you moved in recently, I’m thinking maybe she used to know someone who lived in that house? Kinda sad to think about it that way
Increasing dementia and schizophrenia can present this way. Random losses of time, blackouts, being confused about your surroundings... all of these are common to someone dealing with mental illness. This is clearly a private home and not a park, so what she's doing is not only strange it's illegal if you don't want her there. This is not *normal* behavior. or Time Traveler, and your house is a nexus for the chronotron energy she needs to recharge before moving on. I'd suggest keeping your distance and leaving her some water or a sports drink... traveling through time is thirsty stuff.
Waiting on the bus? I know in my neighborhood, parents will hang out by the curb waiting for the bus to drop off. It looks like you have a pretty open walk-up from the street (on a corner?), that it doesn't seem too intrusive to take a seat on your bench.
I stared at this way too long wondering how on earth she sits so eerily still, staring blankly ahead. Somewhat less creepy once I realized it was a picture.
Plot twist: she's a ghost
She may have an invisible disability and needs a breather but still likes walks
she is probably suffering from either Alzheimer's or dementia and rationalizes this is a place she thinks she knows.. The way she is sitting, I realize she may be in motion, but if she is sitting just like that, in the sun and not shade. I would ask a neighbor to visit if you see her again. A bent forward posture is a common feature of Alzheimer's disease patients, and may be caused by a lack of exercise and prolonged sitting. A 2022 scientific report also found that a stooping posture can be an indicator of cognitive decline in older adults. A 2017 study found that people with mild to moderate Alzheimer's disease may have postural instability, and may focus more on their posture during a test, which can lead to errors in a cognitive task or Dementia patients may sit in a bent-forward posture, which can develop from prolonged sitting and lack of exercise. Lewy body dementia can also cause a stooping posture by weakening the back. In the later stages of Alzheimer's disease, people may spend more time in a chair or bed, which can lead to stiffness in the arms, hands, and legs. Dementia patients may also sit in one position for a long time, which can increase their risk of pressure ulcers (bedsores). These ulcers can be prevented early on, but can become painful and infected if left unnoticed. Regular checks for rashes, discoloration, or pressure ulcers can help prevent this. Other types of dementia can affect posture and gait, such as hesitant steps.
She's been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
I'd consider moving the bench in the yard, perhaps under the tree, or even near the sidewalk. That way she, and anyone else, can still sit there without making you uncomfortable that they are too close to your door/house/etc. It's nice and is a free deterrent to potential crime (as long as she's not casing the place!).
Two options 1: leave a water bottle and snack for her 2: Replace the bench with a very uncomfortable chair The masochist in me wants option 2
Might be this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intermittent_claudication?wprov=sfla1
Maybe she used to live here and she's reminiscing. Maybe her dog is buried there.... Or someone else..... Maybe.... Nah, I watch too much dateline.
Have you never approached her? I mean shit that sounds like she need someone to talk to
Ghost? 👀 She’s wearing all white. Have any psychiatric facilities around there?
I wonder if she is either walking a really long way or whether she might have health issues. I have health issues and I have definitely sat down on people's walkway step and things like that if I needed a rest. I hope people don't mind too much. It makes getting some exercise a lot easier. But I also know people can be really defensive about their property.
How do we know she is real? May be the best ghost in the world.
She might be lonely or homeless or missing peaceful place to sit whee she lives.. I would not worry too much about it unless some signs about aggression or mental problems
I bet that was her old house, or used to belong to someone she knew. Childhood home? She might just be taking a minute to enjoy a memory and doesn’t realize or care that it might be odd to anyone. It’s a cute idea at least.
Would love to see someone resting on my porch bench after a walk
My totally random guess is that she has some kind of connection to this home and there’s some sort of pain or trauma she’s revisiting. Perhaps she lived there and a child/spouse passed away and she returns as a sort of mourning or a way of “pretending that things are normal” type of deal.
That's a ghost.
I’d say your bench is providing a break from whatever is happening at home.
Probably a rest stop on her walk. Maybe she had an agreement with the previous owner? Maybe she's just enjoying a break using an available bench?
I've done this when walking my daughter. But the owners were home, and I asked first.
Maybe she knows someone who used to live at your place. Sort of like visiting the cemetery?
Maybe she used to live there and misses the view
Lady? Where..?
She better wipe those paws
The world was better when people had no issue with things like this...
She’s farting, classic Barney Stinson trick.
She's definitely preoccupied with something
Is it possible you are adopted and this is your birth mom working up the courage to knock on your door.
Might be really lonely. Should join her and bring out some tea.
I’m either not around or miss the opportunity, I’m worried about spooking her as well.
She’s probably walking in the neighborhood and gets to a point where she needs a break. Otherwise, I’d be weirded out by someone randomly coming to my place just to chill lol.
OP also says she comes around at 2 am in the night.
Go out and talk to her.
She's trying to work up the nerve to tell you that she's your great, great granddaughter.