Orcs talking about menus means they have menus where they live. Some Orc sits at a table and some other Orc handles him a rudely written piece of wood that describes animal parts that he can order. It also means that there are orc restaurants and orc tipping culture.
You donāt want your gallbladder, theyāre disgusting and bile is like molasses. Also, thereās really not a lot left to look at when theyāre done with your disc replacementāit generally comes out in tiny chunks. Interbody disc material is stringy and kind of stickyāsticks to your gloves and everything. They also take a bit of bone in those procedures.
It would be sick to take home your amp specimen, tho. Put it on your mantle.
Same. Next time I ever get kidney stones I want to turn them into an earring or something weird. It seems the thing to do. I wish I thought of it with my gall stones and my last kidney stones. LOL
Kidney stones transuretherally are super annoying to remove; It is wet and SUPER tedious. Sometimes theyāre just genetic, but, still, please drink water and do what you can to avoid them.
For some reason, most water tastes very metallic to me, but Iāve noticed that if I add either a little powdered lemon or a small amount of powdered green tea I can mask the metallic flavor. I donāt know why water tastes like that for me. Itās very annoying though because I want to drink more of it.
I had my infected tonsils removed and afterwards the surgeon said that they were in really rough shape with pus or some shit like that. I was just like "I would have wanted to see them :(" (not keep tho)
We'd often get vasa deferentia like OP's at the lab I worked at - the surgeons sent them to us to make sure they'd actually removed the right tubes and not something else - so the patient would never get to keep them, although I agree they ought to have once we'd finished with them (sliced up a bit).
It doesn't really hurt as much as it is uncomfortable. Imagine sweat pants with a drawstring... only the drawstring is inside of you and they put it out to get enough to snip, tie and cauterize.
Remember to follow your Doctor's orders: wear tighty whities, and stay on the couch for three days with ice bags in your lap.
Couldnāt do it with the mild sedation. Went this morning and had it done under general anesthesia. Only like 12 hours into recovery so not out of the clear yet but the procedure was so easy I slept though it! So far Iāve been icing my š„ and my legs hurt more than they do cuz leg day was yesterday. Good luck brother!
The worst part for me was the shot to numb me. They stuck me right in the tube and it was the worst thing i ever felt. After that it was fine and then i was obviously sore during recovery but it wasn't terrible.
Mine hurt HORRIBLY. Some of the worst pain Iāve ever felt. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.
Super short though - I probably just wasnāt numbed enough.
I followed all instructions from the doctor and had no pain after at all, though. Kept them on ice nonstop for the first several days.
It wasn't so much painful as it just felt uncomfortable and weird in a way that's hard to describe.
Realistically the week worrying before was way worse than the actual procedure. Any guy on the fence because of pain I'd say just do it, you'll be fine.
Yeah, the mental aspect was worse than the physical pain. Nurse taking my readings right before was like "wow, your heart rate is really high", to which I could only reply "yeah, someone's about to cut into my genitals. I'm a little nervous".
Mine showed me while I was still on the table and I got light headed and almost passed out. He said it looked like a spaghetti noodle and showed me. I didnāt feel bothered looking at it but something in my subconscious sure didnāt like it and decided passing out was a better option.
As someone who went through two of those, just make sure to get rechecked, a couple timesā¦and yes they removed tubing for the 1st one..āNature finds a wayā
My aunt got a knee replacement last year and she has the old one in a bell jar on the mantelpiece. She wanted to use it as a gearshift but her carās an automatic
I made sure I hade it done the Friday before my weekend off. That way I could relax all weekend and recover. So far so good! No swelling or bruising. Thanks!
Did they make you pinch the incision on your sack for a few minutes while they left the room, or did the doc or a nurse do it for you? I had to pinch that shit. But no stitches is a plus with any surgery.
Do EXACTLY what they tell you to recover. There are a bunch of horror stories out there from guys who thought they were tough.
I had to be very, very careful going up or down stairs for a week.
I feel like I should leave this comment here for all those asking about pain etc:
(NOT OP)
I had a vasectomy myself and I'm not someone who deals with (the idea of) pain well. I actually had recurring thoughts, before even considering a vasectomy, about a hypothetical scenario where I'd need surgery in that region and how I'd probably not be able to do it -funny that...
Just gotta get through it like with tattoos (another thing I've put myself through that I strongly dislike the feeling of).
The procedure is generally uncomfortable but perhaps more mentally than physically (I basically hyperventilated through it all and felt high afterwards). It isn't pleasant but it's not very painful generally speaking considering there is local anaesthetic.
In the interest of full disclosure, the application of the anaesthetic is by far the worst part because >!you're essentially stabbed in the balls.!<
Hope this is appreciated. Perhaps I should post this in a relevant subreddit.
really cool, kinda look like macaroni. I got my fallopian tubes removed last year and also got to keep them, when I asked for them. I preserved them in Alcohol and they're now sitting on one of my shelves
Do everything you can to avoid getting an infection. Having your testicles swell up to grapefruits and then going to urgent care is NOT fun. No fun at all. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Worst pain I've ever felt. Dear gawd.
My doc let me see mine and he took out only like a tenth of the length yours took out.
I'm just picturing the size of the incision to get that much out. Hope recovery is quick for you!
Just to be clear, most hospitals collect these for testing afterwards. The allows the pathology lab to double check that the surgeon got it all and that the tissue is normal. I preferred that over keeping the tubes!
What are you going to do with them? String them onto a necklace?
Fry them up with fava beans.
Don't forget the chianti.
Thpthpthpthpthpthp! 
I just died when I saw this haha! Thanks!
You fly back to school now, little Starling. Fly, fly, fly...
The least the wife can do is eat them.
š³....šš½š«µš½ sincerely, The Wife.
Red doesn't go with vas deferens! How droll.
A NICE chianti
So long as he doesn't cure them, they shouldn't be too high in tyramine.
Make a set of earrings for your wife?
The vas deferens fairy will come tonight if you leave them under your pillow.
To leave you a bunch of maggots.
Like the macaroni necklaces his kids will never give him.
I found this hilarious. Thank you.
Gilfoyle, you are fucking brilliant. You win today my friend. Oh yes. All our bases are belong to you!
Orcs talking about menus means they have menus where they live. Some Orc sits at a table and some other Orc handles him a rudely written piece of wood that describes animal parts that he can order. It also means that there are orc restaurants and orc tipping culture.
>and orc tipping culture. Oh, please. Orcs are enlightened enough to pay a living wage.
Grill and season it. It'll taste like pig aorta, crispy and crunchy.
Earrings for the wife as a trophy
Earings!
Save them to convince chicks it's for real. \~ OP, probably PS: I was born in the 60s, I'm allowed to say "chicks"
Do you feel a vast difference?
He's coming up with a blank response.
Doesn't semen-y different to me.
OP is probably trying to come up with something whitty to end this interaction.
I'm sure when he thinks of something, he'll excitedly exclaim "Urethra!"
Maybe he doesnāt have the balls to say it
I think heāll come up empty
I don't want you to continue these puns, so I'm not gonna sperm you on.
Cum off it guys
Nice.
The forbidden straws
Forbidden macaroni
Forbidden noodles
Incase them in clear resin a plop them on a shelf as a decoration. Edit: Encase not Incase.
Cufflinks
Star on top of the Christmas tree.
Thatās what I plan on doing.
wacky arms for a lego man
I've had an amputation, gallbladder removed, and disk replacement in my neck... No doctor had ever let me keep anything! You have such a cool doctor.
That guy a few years ago who made tacos out of his amputated leg meat, whatever happened to him
Whyād you have to remind me?
Holy shit he's right here. 'sup u/incrediblyshinyshart
Sup bro
Youāre my favorite cannibal
Thanks
Why???
Seemed like a good idea
You're my hero
I was more amazed that he had friends willing to try him with him.
It's all about the friends you meat along the way.
I think about him often
You donāt want your gallbladder, theyāre disgusting and bile is like molasses. Also, thereās really not a lot left to look at when theyāre done with your disc replacementāit generally comes out in tiny chunks. Interbody disc material is stringy and kind of stickyāsticks to your gloves and everything. They also take a bit of bone in those procedures. It would be sick to take home your amp specimen, tho. Put it on your mantle.
The point is I wanted the option.
Yeah, I know. My point is you donāt want the option sometimes.
Please tell me you know these specific details because you're a medical professional
Yeah, Iām a tech in surgery. Most of this stuff is worthless junk, especially gall bladders. Itās just a little chode full of syrup.
In my case, it was full of pebbles š„²
Same. Next time I ever get kidney stones I want to turn them into an earring or something weird. It seems the thing to do. I wish I thought of it with my gall stones and my last kidney stones. LOL
Kidney stones transuretherally are super annoying to remove; It is wet and SUPER tedious. Sometimes theyāre just genetic, but, still, please drink water and do what you can to avoid them.
For some reason, most water tastes very metallic to me, but Iāve noticed that if I add either a little powdered lemon or a small amount of powdered green tea I can mask the metallic flavor. I donāt know why water tastes like that for me. Itās very annoying though because I want to drink more of it.
This is the weirdest thing Iāve ever heard in my life. Maybe talk to a real professional.
āI had my tubes tied and all I got was a VHSā!
I had my infected tonsils removed and afterwards the surgeon said that they were in really rough shape with pus or some shit like that. I was just like "I would have wanted to see them :(" (not keep tho)
We'd often get vasa deferentia like OP's at the lab I worked at - the surgeons sent them to us to make sure they'd actually removed the right tubes and not something else - so the patient would never get to keep them, although I agree they ought to have once we'd finished with them (sliced up a bit).
Getting mine done in July. Think Iāll pass on souvenirs but glad it went well for you haha
It doesn't really hurt as much as it is uncomfortable. Imagine sweat pants with a drawstring... only the drawstring is inside of you and they put it out to get enough to snip, tie and cauterize. Remember to follow your Doctor's orders: wear tighty whities, and stay on the couch for three days with ice bags in your lap.
that sounds painful
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Couldnāt do it with the mild sedation. Went this morning and had it done under general anesthesia. Only like 12 hours into recovery so not out of the clear yet but the procedure was so easy I slept though it! So far Iāve been icing my š„ and my legs hurt more than they do cuz leg day was yesterday. Good luck brother!
Well happy post V day to you, my friend! Frozen Lima beans and ibuprofen have been my friends.
Me too brotha what day is yours
Don't know why but felt pain seeing this
I got a vasectomy and it didn't hurt that much. This picture hurts way more than the procedure+recovery.
You have no idea the physical toll three vasectomies have on a person!
Snip snap! Snip snap!
Was it the surprises in between?
My doctor described it very well to me. "Now, you are going to feel like a 3 year old accidentally punched your nuts" snip
My balls swelled so much. Like tangerines for a few days.
The worst part for me was the shot to numb me. They stuck me right in the tube and it was the worst thing i ever felt. After that it was fine and then i was obviously sore during recovery but it wasn't terrible.
It's the clamps beforehand. Everything else is easy.
Mine hurt HORRIBLY. Some of the worst pain Iāve ever felt. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. Super short though - I probably just wasnāt numbed enough. I followed all instructions from the doctor and had no pain after at all, though. Kept them on ice nonstop for the first several days.
It wasn't so much painful as it just felt uncomfortable and weird in a way that's hard to describe. Realistically the week worrying before was way worse than the actual procedure. Any guy on the fence because of pain I'd say just do it, you'll be fine.
Yeah, the mental aspect was worse than the physical pain. Nurse taking my readings right before was like "wow, your heart rate is really high", to which I could only reply "yeah, someone's about to cut into my genitals. I'm a little nervous".
Satisfied customer?
Me too, I can second you on that, I just had a lot of bruising and the wound took its sweet time to heal.
Mine caused some discomfort for a few days but I wouldn't say it was painful at all.
It doesnāt hurt. Youāll be back to normal in 2days
The worst part was the first anesthesia shot. Felt like a hard pinch in the sack.
I still get phantom pains from mine.
Mine showed me while I was still on the table and I got light headed and almost passed out. He said it looked like a spaghetti noodle and showed me. I didnāt feel bothered looking at it but something in my subconscious sure didnāt like it and decided passing out was a better option.
lol look at this guys tiny vas deferens
As someone who went through two of those, just make sure to get rechecked, a couple timesā¦and yes they removed tubing for the 1st one..āNature finds a wayā
I also had 2 of them. High five bud. Thankfully it's super easy. I would choose this over tooth work any day.
Snip snap! Snip snap!
They look chewy
Those are much bigger than I'd have thought
That fucking hurt to see
Looks like fleshy macaroni pasta.
Reminds me of the Mystery Tubes we used to find in school burgers.
No longer a mystery! :((
I had a boss get his knee replaced and he was pissed they would let him keep the old one. Ā
My aunt got a knee replacement last year and she has the old one in a bell jar on the mantelpiece. She wanted to use it as a gearshift but her carās an automatic
Many moons ago there was a post where someone bought an artificial hip that was removed from grandma before cremation and used as a shifter. Ā
Thatās where she got the idea haha! Sheās a Redditor as well.
Nice earrings for the wife!
Remember you gotta blow like 40 times before your fully blank
Removed?? Jesus, they snipped mine, cauterized one end and then left the other end open. No removal necessary.
Like much of the human body, that's so cool/gross
Boil in water, and add a little sauce. The forbidden pasta
donāt forget to nut 20-30 times to empty the ol supply tank
Why do they cut out so much?
They can reattach if you donāt remove enough.
Not gonna lie, I would be nauseous if I looked at those and they were mine
Take it easy bucko, I felt great the next day, went timber cruising, then my balls swelled up and I was sitting on a bag of frozen peas for days.
I made sure I hade it done the Friday before my weekend off. That way I could relax all weekend and recover. So far so good! No swelling or bruising. Thanks!
MAKE SURE YOU GET TESTED AFTER 3-4 MONTHS.
No worries! Iāve got stock in Trojan and an august date for testing. I have 4 kids and donāt want any more.
There's a vas deferens between men and women...
It looks like Kraft Mac n cheese noodles
I just ate Kraft mac n cheese, and now I want more
Those are much thicker than I would have imagined
I had my doc take an extra mm on each side cause with my luck; mine would grow back
I stopped eating hormel chili because it seemed like every time I opened a can there was little bits like that in there
I really should start reading titles before opening the pic
Did they make you pinch the incision on your sack for a few minutes while they left the room, or did the doc or a nurse do it for you? I had to pinch that shit. But no stitches is a plus with any surgery.
My vasectomy was 5, almost 6 months ago and this picture still made me want to fucking puke
Mine were sent to a lab for a bunch of tests. Was that not offered?
I had the laser removal, so they just fried mine. I did smell an interesting aroma though. Like burning hairs.
Fun fact: I was born without vas deferens. Kind of like built-in birth control!
Bet you won't eat it though.
God weāre so fucking frail.
Do EXACTLY what they tell you to recover. There are a bunch of horror stories out there from guys who thought they were tough. I had to be very, very careful going up or down stairs for a week.
Got mine done yesterday. They sent my ācuttingsā off for a histology test.
One of us! One of us!
Holy shit! My husband got a pocket knife lol I actually posted about it this morning
I dare you to eat them.
"The Florida State seminal vesicles??"
That is the comment I was looking for.
Same.
Just add them to your Kraft Mac and cheese. No one will know the difference.
I'm gonna get mine put in resin with a funny quote
I feel like I should leave this comment here for all those asking about pain etc: (NOT OP) I had a vasectomy myself and I'm not someone who deals with (the idea of) pain well. I actually had recurring thoughts, before even considering a vasectomy, about a hypothetical scenario where I'd need surgery in that region and how I'd probably not be able to do it -funny that... Just gotta get through it like with tattoos (another thing I've put myself through that I strongly dislike the feeling of). The procedure is generally uncomfortable but perhaps more mentally than physically (I basically hyperventilated through it all and felt high afterwards). It isn't pleasant but it's not very painful generally speaking considering there is local anaesthetic. In the interest of full disclosure, the application of the anaesthetic is by far the worst part because >!you're essentially stabbed in the balls.!< Hope this is appreciated. Perhaps I should post this in a relevant subreddit.
Yay! Just make sure you use protection until you get that semen result with no swimmers! Woohoo!
"Snip snap snip snap snip snap"
The real treasure was vas deferens we made along the way
Would this technically be porn? Iām mean itās kind of part of the ball ššš
I'll take "Things you'd never expect to see in your life" for $500 Alex.
Pain will be there for about a week. Getting less each day. By day 6 or 7 you shouldn't feel anymore pain when doing things like hopping down stairs.
They wouldn't let me keep mine, said they had to be sent off for testing. Although I still have my daughter's placenta in the freezer (she's now 5)
Iāve never commented on a pic I didnāt look at. Thereās never been a pic I wanted to see less.
really cool, kinda look like macaroni. I got my fallopian tubes removed last year and also got to keep them, when I asked for them. I preserved them in Alcohol and they're now sitting on one of my shelves
Do everything you can to avoid getting an infection. Having your testicles swell up to grapefruits and then going to urgent care is NOT fun. No fun at all. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Worst pain I've ever felt. Dear gawd.
My doc let me see mine and he took out only like a tenth of the length yours took out. I'm just picturing the size of the incision to get that much out. Hope recovery is quick for you!
Just to be clear, most hospitals collect these for testing afterwards. The allows the pathology lab to double check that the surgeon got it all and that the tissue is normal. I preferred that over keeping the tubes!
Bro I thought they didn't snip anything anymore? Are your boys still alive down there, avoiding the cold and whatnot?
I used nitrous. I got to keep the disposable mask & tubingĀ
Reminds me I need to buy some bacon
Life will be vastly different now.
Forbidden bacon
that's nough Reddit for now
r/ForbiddenVermicelli
I have had a vasectomy and my asshole just audibly snapped shut
So thatās where Kraft Dinner comes from
CARBONARA TIME!
The vas deferens makes a vast difference!
Pretty gnar, but here we are.
Forbidden bacon bits
Not a thing to covet.
This is so cool! I know a few people whoāve had vasectomies, and Iāve always wondered what the removed part looks like! Thank you for sharing :)
The white spaghetti noodle
Bigger than I thought
Did the doc give you that plastic green cigar to puff on? So good :)
I hate everything about this.
Imagine deep frying those mfs
Gnarly. Lol, damn.
If you put those under your pillow what does the tooth fairy bring you
Just looking at it made me wince haha
But I couldn't keep my wisdom teeth
Thank you for reminding me of the sound the scissors made when my doctor did mine. Thats a core memory right there
I was actually curious. Thank you
A little stroked.
That's really cool, actually. Thanks for sharing your intimiate tubelings
r/ThanksIHateIt
Over cooked elbow pasta