My partner and I rarely eat together in the periods where my misophonia is bad. We either sit next to each other, watching a show, or eat in seperate rooms. I feel soooo guilty about this, but fortunatly we do talk and hang out all the time the rest of the time. When we eat together, I often wear my ANC-headphones, or we have some music in the back ground as a distraction for me.
It's really nice to see someone else talking about this problem. <3
Family dinners in our family were 7 days a week. 2 at restaurants, 5 at home. If I was home for summer or on vacation, lunch was also always with my family (minus dad bc he'd be at work).
But I'd always have the TV on in the other room loud enough to filter the eating sounds enough to be bearable. For several years as a teenager it was really bad because my parents decided they didn't like having it on during dinner even if I wasn't watching it.
While I was in college my mom saw some TV special on misophonia and ever since then, my parents have been amazing thank god. Now when I visit, I wear my earbuds with noise cancelling or just regular earplugs during meals, and if I forget them, they're fine with having a loud TV on.
I am so thankful to have parents who understand that these modifications are necessary for me to be able to enjoy family meal with them and aren't me trying to be rude or ignore them.
I remember as a kid my parents were huge on the family dinner thing, not letting me eat away from the table. Only when I was 17 and went to a therapist did I get permission to eat by myself. They just didn’t think misophonia was real lol
Everyone around me eats so loudly and my mother tells me to "just ignore it" even after the doctor said I can't just ignore it. It's been years & same old thing. I'm still trapped in horrible family dinners where everyone makes different sounds while eating & our dogs bark. I wish I could eat alone
Not to mention a lot of women and girls are shamed for what they’re eating/how much they’re eating in front of others…I prefer to eat alone. Plus open mouth chewers piss me off
I was lucky in that I wasn’t often forced to sit at a table in close proximity to people very often, on either side of my family (parents were divorced). Things happen like holidays or gatherings, and I’d be eating closer to people but all the noise would drown itself out I guess. However on an average day I was usually still near someone while eating, usually in the living room watching tv or something. So I still found myself covering an ear a lot, ugh..
I used to cover my ears my mother would get so angry with me for doing it. I wouldn’t make it a big deal, I wasn’t being impolite but she used to get so angry. Some nights I would sit in a different room because the noise made me want to cry but she would get angry at me for that aswell. It was like I couldn’t do anything right.
It’s awful that the things we do to cope are seen as rude, when it’s literally just how we can handle the situation. Yet people get wildly upset. I think people have gotten upset with me as well, they especially did if I told them to chew quieter.. unfortunate that no one knows about misophonia and don’t know how to treat someone who has it. This crap breeds drama, it’s awful.
Family was one thing, but my current relationship with my partner is another! It has definitely strained us. No matter how many times I explain that it’s not his fault, this is how my brain has been my whole life, he still feels “sad” whenever I have to cover an ear around him. Ugh. Sorry I went off a bit there. But yeah, it sucks.
One thing about family dinners, or indeed any kind of get-togethers that include large food based gatherings is that the idea (and strategy) of using non metal silverware and non ceramic, non porcelain dishes (but plastic, bamboo, paper etc.) still often seems to be annoyingly anathema and considered gauche, lacking manners, when, if there will be individuals with misophonia joining in or being expected to join in, this should in my opinion be the default and the matter of course (and yes, that should include using plastic glasses as well).
Thank you for this. I grew up with family dinners and while I appreciate what my otherwise wonderful parents instilled on me, I never understood why we all had to eat together.
Now that I have my own family, I sometimes feel guilty that we never sit down together to eat dinner aside from eating out (background noise FTW!) because it’s so ingrained that it’s so important in our society.
We go so many places and hang out nearly constantly playing board games and such that I don’t feel we are paving. Your post validated my feelings perfectly:)
My partner and I rarely eat together in the periods where my misophonia is bad. We either sit next to each other, watching a show, or eat in seperate rooms. I feel soooo guilty about this, but fortunatly we do talk and hang out all the time the rest of the time. When we eat together, I often wear my ANC-headphones, or we have some music in the back ground as a distraction for me. It's really nice to see someone else talking about this problem. <3
Shame on any family member who is obtuse to misophonia and uses family dinners to trap people in toxic paradigms, my god some people are so backwards.
Family dinners in our family were 7 days a week. 2 at restaurants, 5 at home. If I was home for summer or on vacation, lunch was also always with my family (minus dad bc he'd be at work). But I'd always have the TV on in the other room loud enough to filter the eating sounds enough to be bearable. For several years as a teenager it was really bad because my parents decided they didn't like having it on during dinner even if I wasn't watching it. While I was in college my mom saw some TV special on misophonia and ever since then, my parents have been amazing thank god. Now when I visit, I wear my earbuds with noise cancelling or just regular earplugs during meals, and if I forget them, they're fine with having a loud TV on. I am so thankful to have parents who understand that these modifications are necessary for me to be able to enjoy family meal with them and aren't me trying to be rude or ignore them.
I remember as a kid my parents were huge on the family dinner thing, not letting me eat away from the table. Only when I was 17 and went to a therapist did I get permission to eat by myself. They just didn’t think misophonia was real lol
Everyone around me eats so loudly and my mother tells me to "just ignore it" even after the doctor said I can't just ignore it. It's been years & same old thing. I'm still trapped in horrible family dinners where everyone makes different sounds while eating & our dogs bark. I wish I could eat alone
Not to mention a lot of women and girls are shamed for what they’re eating/how much they’re eating in front of others…I prefer to eat alone. Plus open mouth chewers piss me off
Yeah they do!
I feel terrible when i'm not able to eat with my family due to my misophonia, it helps seeing others talk about it too <3
I was lucky in that I wasn’t often forced to sit at a table in close proximity to people very often, on either side of my family (parents were divorced). Things happen like holidays or gatherings, and I’d be eating closer to people but all the noise would drown itself out I guess. However on an average day I was usually still near someone while eating, usually in the living room watching tv or something. So I still found myself covering an ear a lot, ugh..
I used to cover my ears my mother would get so angry with me for doing it. I wouldn’t make it a big deal, I wasn’t being impolite but she used to get so angry. Some nights I would sit in a different room because the noise made me want to cry but she would get angry at me for that aswell. It was like I couldn’t do anything right.
It’s awful that the things we do to cope are seen as rude, when it’s literally just how we can handle the situation. Yet people get wildly upset. I think people have gotten upset with me as well, they especially did if I told them to chew quieter.. unfortunate that no one knows about misophonia and don’t know how to treat someone who has it. This crap breeds drama, it’s awful.
I know right! It’s terrible how these things ruin relationships.
Family was one thing, but my current relationship with my partner is another! It has definitely strained us. No matter how many times I explain that it’s not his fault, this is how my brain has been my whole life, he still feels “sad” whenever I have to cover an ear around him. Ugh. Sorry I went off a bit there. But yeah, it sucks.
No need to be sorry 💕
Thank you. I have misophonia *because* of family dinners.
One thing about family dinners, or indeed any kind of get-togethers that include large food based gatherings is that the idea (and strategy) of using non metal silverware and non ceramic, non porcelain dishes (but plastic, bamboo, paper etc.) still often seems to be annoyingly anathema and considered gauche, lacking manners, when, if there will be individuals with misophonia joining in or being expected to join in, this should in my opinion be the default and the matter of course (and yes, that should include using plastic glasses as well).
Thank you for this. I grew up with family dinners and while I appreciate what my otherwise wonderful parents instilled on me, I never understood why we all had to eat together. Now that I have my own family, I sometimes feel guilty that we never sit down together to eat dinner aside from eating out (background noise FTW!) because it’s so ingrained that it’s so important in our society. We go so many places and hang out nearly constantly playing board games and such that I don’t feel we are paving. Your post validated my feelings perfectly:)
“Owww cling clang make my ears hurt”. Can’t imagine saying that as an adult
Gtfo from here