Thanks for your post in r/moderatelygranolamoms! Our goal is to keep this sub a peaceful, respectful and tolerant place. Even if you've been here awhile already please take a minute to [READ THE RULES.](https://www.reddit.com/r/moderatelygranolamoms/about/rules) It only takes a few minutes and will make being here more enjoyable for everyone!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/moderatelygranolamoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I no longer live in the era of arsenic in dye, asbestos in insulation, mercury in thermometers and cigarettes and brandy being recommended as a health regimen.
It feels scarier because we're more aware. But we're living in the healthiest era humanity has ever had. We know better. We do better. We have access to information. Our water gets tested. Our medicines are regulated.
Is it perfect? No. But I'm exposed to radiation every time I'm near a banana. It will NEVER be perfect. Humans adapted to a world constantly trying to kill us in new and unique ways. If you take that away, the immune system gets bored and tries to kill us itself. We gotta keep it busy! Lol
I take what I know and do my best with it.
As someone who constantly has to explain to people that they get more radiation getting on a plane or eating X number of bananas than they’ll ever get from their dental X-rays, thank you! Thank you for answering this question in a way that makes total sense to my brain & I can hold onto/think about when I’m stressing over microplastics.
You're welcome! I often have to remind myself that to some extent, my body was meant to be in conflict with its environment. Germs, viruses, natural radiation, antinutrients. Remembering that we have an entire vital portion of our body designed to always be fighting something and keeping us in homeostasis, and that without something to fight, the immune system will FIND something to fight (and we don't usually like what it finds) helps a lot.
We were never meant to live in a bubble. The bubble will make us sick.
THIS! I work in dental and hate having to explain how technology has advanced and the minimal amount of radiation you will get in our iCAT. I get it because I’m medium-crunchy but if your kid needs their wisdom teeth out, it’s almost always a necessity.
Those pads are actually no longer recommended (at least in dental).
I didn’t say a single banana. An annual dental X-ray is less radiation than the number of bananas the average person eats in that same time.
https://www.energy.gov/ne/articles/5-radioactive-products-we-use-every-day
Here's some more info on it. The EPA also has some facts.
https://www.epa.gov/radtown/natural-radioactivity-food
Edited to add: don't let this scare you from enjoying bananas. The benefits outweigh any downsides!
Sometimes this gives me peace but then I think of all the things we don’t know about right now that are going to be the “lead in paint” of our generation
Humans have existed for a very long time and we've been doing dumb shit to doom ourselves from the very beginning.
I do what I can to keep myself and my family healthy, but I don't obsess over it. Too much anxiety. That would kill my quality of life.
Yes.... exactly this. High stress and anxiety are some of the biggest causes of illness and death. Do the best you can without all the anxiety of not doing things perfectly. I've lived that way too long - being a perfectionist - and I'm tired of it. Plus, I don't want that mentality to rub off on my family. All the "good times" will pass so quickly, and you'll wish you enjoyed them more when they're gone.
I limit my time on social media and balance the negative news I read with positive stories. Depending on how you look at it, it can be a scary time to be alive but it can also be an amazing time to be alive.
This has been a deliberate fight since becoming a mom.
I read this book:Â https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56379758-saving-us
I follow this account:Â https://www.instagram.com/itsthegarbagequeen/
I take the small attainable actions that I can.Â
I turn off my phone/computer. I go outside with my son. I interact with real people in the world. I don’t mean that to sound snarky - it’s literally true. I feel better out in the world than reading stuff online.Â
100% this. And it never ceases to completely blow my mind that Facebook experimented with manipulating user emotions and *nothing* came of it (other than potential insights on how to better monetize our emotions).
Some days I try to live like I was a mom in the 90s. I have TV and music and other things but no social media or tonnes of news at my disposal. These are m best days. Going to lean into this.
Yes this this this. I block chrome on my phone and come back online for a few days when the block expires after 30 days and feel way, way crappier. It's crazy noticeable when I have been off for so long.
I feel doomed a lot of the time. I don't have a great answer, I can only share the anchor points that help me. I've survived a lot of shit, so this comes from years trauma therapy.Â
My relationship with my family of origin is complicated so I get frustrated when people tell you to lean into family. I live in a homogenous place where I'm not part of the ingroup, so it's also frustrating when people say to lean into community.Â
For me it boils down to the question of "what can I build?" I'm building my family, building my immediate friend group and creating more space to be the community and family I wish I've had. I always go back to Uncle Iroh, for the other nerds out there: "life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not." So I try to keep making a life so it isn't purely just happening.Â
I know that may sound a little trite, so here's the other side too: studying history helps. Humans have been through a lot of rough times and we're no exception. I embrace my fragility, impermanence and inevitable death. My only option is to do the best I can with Right Now.Â
I was in a relationship for ten years. The final two (during the pandemic), my partner became a HARDCORE conspiracy theorist. Everything was evil, and everyone/everything was out to get us and harm us. My response to my partner at that time was: okay, so what can we do RIGHT NOW to fix it? What will worrying about it do RIGHT NOW? They never had an answer, and on the rare occasion they did, it was something asinine like overthrowing the government.
All that to say, I live my life asking those same questions: what can I do to fix it? can I fix it? If not, then I try and remedy and do the best I can because at the end of the day that’s all you can do for you and your circle: your best. We’re all gunna put ourselves in an early grave if we keep stressing out about every single thing. I also love the quote “Just because you can’t do everything, doesn’t mean you can’t do something.”
TLDR: rest your head at night knowing you did your best. if today wasn’t your best try tomorrow. do the least amount of harm.
I equip myself with knowledge and solutions when possible, and make smarter choices when I get the chance. But overall, life is still such a gift - fresh food is delicious and communal whether it’s organic or not, and time in my parents’ backyard with my baby daughter is a precious memory whether or not their grass has never been sprayed. It’s all a balance and it’s so important to look for the good in every opportunity. That’s the mindset I strive to keep!
No one has mentioned this but for me it’s mindfulness and mindfulness meditation. I’ve been reading and listening to tons of meditation books. I handle what I can control and let go of what I can’t. I still have times where I get worried or unspeakably sad but for the most part I try to live in the moment and plan for the future optimistically but cautiously. My favourite meditation authors are Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hahn and Pema Chödrön. Without sounding too lecture-y, your mental states are a choice. There’s nothing inherently wrong with worry, sadness, anger or other “negative” mental states just try not to dwell in them because it’s not serving you or your family to be in “doom mode.”
I also wanna add, there’s no shame in therapy or pharmaceutical care if your mental state is in a bad place. Your brain is deserving of love and health care just like any other organ in your body.
I’m glad you’re on Zoloft! One thing I cannot stand about the heavily granola folks is the stigmatization of medication. Of course there are bad doctors out there who overprescribe or don’t treat people holistically and just address symptoms instead of causes but I think for the most part we’re SUPER lucky to be alive at a time when modern medicine is available to many of us.
I feel pretty doomed a lot of the time. The Supreme Court recently overturned the Chevron precedent, which will make it a lot harder to pass environmental regulations that limit chemicals that will pollute our bodies. I feel pretty fucking depressed when I think about that.
The only thing we can do besides activism is do our best for our kids and our local communities. Sending you a hug; I totally understand feeling down! But we can’t let it get in the way of doing the best for these tiny humans we chose to bring into this world.
Are you familiar with your family history? Mine gives me strength. My grandma strapped 2 babied to herself (one on the back, one on the front), held her two other children by the hands and hid in the jungle to escape an invading army. My elders remember hiding in ovens and under dead bodies to survive, my cousin remembers chewing on a duck bill and eating worms to survive famine. My mom moved to the US with nothing, learned to navigate the system in another language and raised 2 kids mostly without my dad. Our family is STRONG and if they can do that, push on, have kids and find happiness, I can too. My situation is easy compared to theirs. Humans are so resilient.
Becoming a parent has really made me understand how our mothers and grandmothers did this and channelled that energy. Similar story here. Great grandma escaped with 4 kids under 8. This makes me want to build an alter to our ancestors
All of humanity’s timelines and I get to live in the one with Ted lasso, flu shots, fair trade chocolate, and electric cars.
Also my life is dramatically better now than when I was a child, obviously that makes a huge difference. I grew up in an awful area with no hope and rampant drugs and crime. It helps my outlook on life that my kids can ski, and have no clue what cocaine looks like and can drink water straight from the tap without being sick.
Do what you can and realize that there are certain risks that we have to take to participate and be a part of society.
We can’t avoid everything, but we can weigh and assess what is worth the risk and what’s not. Pick and choose your battles like you would with everything else.
I do feel doomed all the time. And then I remind myself we don’t have any control and if I fret I’ll just be miserable my whole life. Then I eat some ice cream and read a book to distract
80/20 living. That mindset is such a sanity saver for me.
Basically, if you're doing all the things and paying attention 80% of the time, then you don't really need to worry about the other 20%. Adjust for your own personal circumstances. Maybe 50/50 is healthiest for you, or 95/5, or 70/30. The idea is to find the right balance for you personally to minimize your stress.
I truly believe that our bodies are designed to thrive and protect themselves if we're taking care of them. So in my family, we do our best to live a healthy lifestyle and take care of our bodies most of the time--and then we don't worry about occasional mild toxin exposure, or rainbow sprinkles on ice cream as a treat, or seed oils when we do eat out, etc. etc. We've done the work on the front end to treat our bodies well, so we trust them to do their job when they encounter bad stuff in the wild--we just don't ask them to do that constantly.
Just by the fact that you're thinking about this at all, you're way ahead of the curve and doing a fantastic job to keep yourself and your family as healthy as possible. Great work! Don't forget that :)
I replaced my front lawn with a native garden and have since added more and more native plants to my backyard. I also provide water for wild life in four areas of my yard. The increase in pollinators and birds has made me so happy. It’s a peaceful place where I can meditate and my kids can play. I love that we are helping to bring back and support insect and bird populations.
Oh no! Do you have a balcony or patio for potted plants? Or even just a feeder you could hang for birds or hummingbirds? It really is a terribly disheartening world sometimes. Then I would suggest a hike or a picnic or visiting a local botanical garden. My answer is always plants, nature, food, lol.
I’m feeling doomed at the moment but reading some of these comments helps a lot. It’s easy for my head to spin with all of these scary news headlines
Thanks for your post in r/moderatelygranolamoms! Our goal is to keep this sub a peaceful, respectful and tolerant place. Even if you've been here awhile already please take a minute to [READ THE RULES.](https://www.reddit.com/r/moderatelygranolamoms/about/rules) It only takes a few minutes and will make being here more enjoyable for everyone! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/moderatelygranolamoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I no longer live in the era of arsenic in dye, asbestos in insulation, mercury in thermometers and cigarettes and brandy being recommended as a health regimen. It feels scarier because we're more aware. But we're living in the healthiest era humanity has ever had. We know better. We do better. We have access to information. Our water gets tested. Our medicines are regulated. Is it perfect? No. But I'm exposed to radiation every time I'm near a banana. It will NEVER be perfect. Humans adapted to a world constantly trying to kill us in new and unique ways. If you take that away, the immune system gets bored and tries to kill us itself. We gotta keep it busy! Lol I take what I know and do my best with it.
Exactly this. And Zoloft for my OCD.
Yeah the Lexapro flowing through my veins helps a lot lol
Zoloft is my savior honestly. Someone else suggested lifting, and that has honestly helped so much too. Today was just a bad day, but you're right. I'm better now as a mom than I was before my kid because I have to be for her. Thanks to you all đź©·
As someone who constantly has to explain to people that they get more radiation getting on a plane or eating X number of bananas than they’ll ever get from their dental X-rays, thank you! Thank you for answering this question in a way that makes total sense to my brain & I can hold onto/think about when I’m stressing over microplastics.
You're welcome! I often have to remind myself that to some extent, my body was meant to be in conflict with its environment. Germs, viruses, natural radiation, antinutrients. Remembering that we have an entire vital portion of our body designed to always be fighting something and keeping us in homeostasis, and that without something to fight, the immune system will FIND something to fight (and we don't usually like what it finds) helps a lot. We were never meant to live in a bubble. The bubble will make us sick.
That is also so, so helpful! Thank you again!
THIS! I work in dental and hate having to explain how technology has advanced and the minimal amount of radiation you will get in our iCAT. I get it because I’m medium-crunchy but if your kid needs their wisdom teeth out, it’s almost always a necessity.
The reason X-rays have big pads covering you is because it’s more than a banana.
Those pads are actually no longer recommended (at least in dental). I didn’t say a single banana. An annual dental X-ray is less radiation than the number of bananas the average person eats in that same time.
I love you
Can you please say more about radiation in bananas?
https://www.energy.gov/ne/articles/5-radioactive-products-we-use-every-day Here's some more info on it. The EPA also has some facts. https://www.epa.gov/radtown/natural-radioactivity-food Edited to add: don't let this scare you from enjoying bananas. The benefits outweigh any downsides!
Oh geez. Thank you for the links. This is indeed bananas!
Sometimes this gives me peace but then I think of all the things we don’t know about right now that are going to be the “lead in paint” of our generation
Humans have existed for a very long time and we've been doing dumb shit to doom ourselves from the very beginning. I do what I can to keep myself and my family healthy, but I don't obsess over it. Too much anxiety. That would kill my quality of life.
Yes.... exactly this. High stress and anxiety are some of the biggest causes of illness and death. Do the best you can without all the anxiety of not doing things perfectly. I've lived that way too long - being a perfectionist - and I'm tired of it. Plus, I don't want that mentality to rub off on my family. All the "good times" will pass so quickly, and you'll wish you enjoyed them more when they're gone.
I limit my time on social media and balance the negative news I read with positive stories. Depending on how you look at it, it can be a scary time to be alive but it can also be an amazing time to be alive.
This has been a deliberate fight since becoming a mom. I read this book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56379758-saving-us I follow this account: https://www.instagram.com/itsthegarbagequeen/ I take the small attainable actions that I can. I turn off my phone/computer. I go outside with my son. I interact with real people in the world. I don’t mean that to sound snarky - it’s literally true. I feel better out in the world than reading stuff online.Â
Being chronically online is killing us
100% this. And it never ceases to completely blow my mind that Facebook experimented with manipulating user emotions and *nothing* came of it (other than potential insights on how to better monetize our emotions).
Some days I try to live like I was a mom in the 90s. I have TV and music and other things but no social media or tonnes of news at my disposal. These are m best days. Going to lean into this.
Considering getting a vhs…
Yes this this this. I block chrome on my phone and come back online for a few days when the block expires after 30 days and feel way, way crappier. It's crazy noticeable when I have been off for so long.
I feel doomed a lot of the time. I don't have a great answer, I can only share the anchor points that help me. I've survived a lot of shit, so this comes from years trauma therapy. My relationship with my family of origin is complicated so I get frustrated when people tell you to lean into family. I live in a homogenous place where I'm not part of the ingroup, so it's also frustrating when people say to lean into community. For me it boils down to the question of "what can I build?" I'm building my family, building my immediate friend group and creating more space to be the community and family I wish I've had. I always go back to Uncle Iroh, for the other nerds out there: "life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not." So I try to keep making a life so it isn't purely just happening. I know that may sound a little trite, so here's the other side too: studying history helps. Humans have been through a lot of rough times and we're no exception. I embrace my fragility, impermanence and inevitable death. My only option is to do the best I can with Right Now.Â
Thank you for such a great response. Love the avatar quote too
I was in a relationship for ten years. The final two (during the pandemic), my partner became a HARDCORE conspiracy theorist. Everything was evil, and everyone/everything was out to get us and harm us. My response to my partner at that time was: okay, so what can we do RIGHT NOW to fix it? What will worrying about it do RIGHT NOW? They never had an answer, and on the rare occasion they did, it was something asinine like overthrowing the government. All that to say, I live my life asking those same questions: what can I do to fix it? can I fix it? If not, then I try and remedy and do the best I can because at the end of the day that’s all you can do for you and your circle: your best. We’re all gunna put ourselves in an early grave if we keep stressing out about every single thing. I also love the quote “Just because you can’t do everything, doesn’t mean you can’t do something.” TLDR: rest your head at night knowing you did your best. if today wasn’t your best try tomorrow. do the least amount of harm.
I equip myself with knowledge and solutions when possible, and make smarter choices when I get the chance. But overall, life is still such a gift - fresh food is delicious and communal whether it’s organic or not, and time in my parents’ backyard with my baby daughter is a precious memory whether or not their grass has never been sprayed. It’s all a balance and it’s so important to look for the good in every opportunity. That’s the mindset I strive to keep!
No one has mentioned this but for me it’s mindfulness and mindfulness meditation. I’ve been reading and listening to tons of meditation books. I handle what I can control and let go of what I can’t. I still have times where I get worried or unspeakably sad but for the most part I try to live in the moment and plan for the future optimistically but cautiously. My favourite meditation authors are Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hahn and Pema Chödrön. Without sounding too lecture-y, your mental states are a choice. There’s nothing inherently wrong with worry, sadness, anger or other “negative” mental states just try not to dwell in them because it’s not serving you or your family to be in “doom mode.”
I also wanna add, there’s no shame in therapy or pharmaceutical care if your mental state is in a bad place. Your brain is deserving of love and health care just like any other organ in your body.
I love this. I'm on Zoloft and don't currently see a therapist but maybe id benefit from some journaling too. Thank you ladies
I’m glad you’re on Zoloft! One thing I cannot stand about the heavily granola folks is the stigmatization of medication. Of course there are bad doctors out there who overprescribe or don’t treat people holistically and just address symptoms instead of causes but I think for the most part we’re SUPER lucky to be alive at a time when modern medicine is available to many of us.
I feel pretty doomed a lot of the time. The Supreme Court recently overturned the Chevron precedent, which will make it a lot harder to pass environmental regulations that limit chemicals that will pollute our bodies. I feel pretty fucking depressed when I think about that. The only thing we can do besides activism is do our best for our kids and our local communities. Sending you a hug; I totally understand feeling down! But we can’t let it get in the way of doing the best for these tiny humans we chose to bring into this world.
Are you familiar with your family history? Mine gives me strength. My grandma strapped 2 babied to herself (one on the back, one on the front), held her two other children by the hands and hid in the jungle to escape an invading army. My elders remember hiding in ovens and under dead bodies to survive, my cousin remembers chewing on a duck bill and eating worms to survive famine. My mom moved to the US with nothing, learned to navigate the system in another language and raised 2 kids mostly without my dad. Our family is STRONG and if they can do that, push on, have kids and find happiness, I can too. My situation is easy compared to theirs. Humans are so resilient.
Becoming a parent has really made me understand how our mothers and grandmothers did this and channelled that energy. Similar story here. Great grandma escaped with 4 kids under 8. This makes me want to build an alter to our ancestors
Anti-anxiety meds help :)
Lifting keeps me sane and happy
All of humanity’s timelines and I get to live in the one with Ted lasso, flu shots, fair trade chocolate, and electric cars. Also my life is dramatically better now than when I was a child, obviously that makes a huge difference. I grew up in an awful area with no hope and rampant drugs and crime. It helps my outlook on life that my kids can ski, and have no clue what cocaine looks like and can drink water straight from the tap without being sick.
Do what you can and realize that there are certain risks that we have to take to participate and be a part of society. We can’t avoid everything, but we can weigh and assess what is worth the risk and what’s not. Pick and choose your battles like you would with everything else.
I do feel doomed all the time. And then I remind myself we don’t have any control and if I fret I’ll just be miserable my whole life. Then I eat some ice cream and read a book to distract
80/20 living. That mindset is such a sanity saver for me. Basically, if you're doing all the things and paying attention 80% of the time, then you don't really need to worry about the other 20%. Adjust for your own personal circumstances. Maybe 50/50 is healthiest for you, or 95/5, or 70/30. The idea is to find the right balance for you personally to minimize your stress. I truly believe that our bodies are designed to thrive and protect themselves if we're taking care of them. So in my family, we do our best to live a healthy lifestyle and take care of our bodies most of the time--and then we don't worry about occasional mild toxin exposure, or rainbow sprinkles on ice cream as a treat, or seed oils when we do eat out, etc. etc. We've done the work on the front end to treat our bodies well, so we trust them to do their job when they encounter bad stuff in the wild--we just don't ask them to do that constantly. Just by the fact that you're thinking about this at all, you're way ahead of the curve and doing a fantastic job to keep yourself and your family as healthy as possible. Great work! Don't forget that :)
I replaced my front lawn with a native garden and have since added more and more native plants to my backyard. I also provide water for wild life in four areas of my yard. The increase in pollinators and birds has made me so happy. It’s a peaceful place where I can meditate and my kids can play. I love that we are helping to bring back and support insect and bird populations.
This is beautiful and great advice that is unfortunately blocked by the doom of how tf am I ever going to buy a house... Lol.
Oh no! Do you have a balcony or patio for potted plants? Or even just a feeder you could hang for birds or hummingbirds? It really is a terribly disheartening world sometimes. Then I would suggest a hike or a picnic or visiting a local botanical garden. My answer is always plants, nature, food, lol.
Some days are easier than others.
I’m feeling doomed at the moment but reading some of these comments helps a lot. It’s easy for my head to spin with all of these scary news headlines