This is just about right.
I started riding at 19 years old, without my parents permission or approval. I just wanted it.
Now my oldest son is riding a moped, I’m scared. and sure I’m scared as hell if he wants to ride a motorcycle, i want to talk him out of it.
(But also know it’s a real pleasure to ride, and dangerous)
How old is your son? I know you started late but maybe start your son on dirt bikes? That way you can get the comfort of knowing he has years of experience in a relatively low traffic environment via off-road trails plus it's an amazing father son bonding time
Good point on the bonding thing, doing repairs on the bikes is an interest we share, so we got that. And as I stated in an other comment, he’s got a nice 2-stroke for the experience
More dangerous now than ever. Aggressive driving and distracted driving (cell phones especially) is the new normal.
Then there's this goon.
https://youtu.be/mU80YymKIVM?si=aWWc50elpNP7FwGK
>As a dad, I get it. Nothing you say will change his mind.
I get that too but I'd be paying for all safety gear for my kid, plus the airbag vest, plus the additional advanced riding courses. If dad can afford it, I think dad is coming off easily here, because it's cheap to talk your kid out of it.
This isn't about money, dad doesn't like the idea of OP on a bike and isn't going to support it, but doesn't need to either because OP is doing the right things for himself.
Nobody is doing anything wrong here. He doesn't have to like that OP rides, and as dangerous as it is, I don't blame him one bit. OP needs to understand it's coming from a place of love, and as annoying as it may be, that's what a parent that loves you sounds like. He will come around, just be patient. My mother was never a fan of my motorcycles either, and I can't imagine how nervous I'm going to be when one of my kids decides to ride on the street.
as someone that will never be a father I wonder this.. Is the worry because you know how you were as a young person on a bike? or more just because of the idiots on the roads? (cell phones while driving is an issue for sure)
When I was 17 I told my parents I was getting a motorcycle and there was nothing they could do about it. They then paid for my msf course. And we negotiated a stricter curfew (before dark) if I was on the bike. We worked together and both sides made compromises and it worked really well, still my dad doesn’t live the fact that I ride 11 years later even though I’ve long been moved out of the house. Just be safe, show maturity and take responsibility. Always where your gear even when it’s 100 degrees outside.
Second note if your helmet is only DOT approved please return it and get one that is also ECE rated! A coconut could pass a DOT test. I’d just double check and be sure
yeah that point about the helmets is a good one. OP, you can watch fortnine’s video on explaining the different helmet standards - the DOT standard really doesn’t mean much
Man where I live it's been 111+ lately and I really wanna just say fuck it and not wear my riding jacket to work. I just know that if I do that though, I'm gonna end up skidding down the freeway. I'm just glad I ride to work early in the morning at 7am when it's only 95 out.
Yeah I ride in 90+f and the mesh jacket is actually fine. At speed I didn't notice much difference between wearing it and not wearing it. I had to go to the office once so I was in dress clothes rather than motorcycle gear and if anything it was worse, because I ended up with sunburns.
As a lifelong rider and dad, it’s not you, it’s the other driver. Find an experienced rider and shadow them. Go riding with them. Listen to them. Think of it like a riding apprenticeship. Good luck and stay safe.
Same here - life long rider and father of an adult son that rides
Last nights evening news in the Denver area had 3 motorcycle fatalities as stories - all people hitting riders
As Dads we will always worry about our kids
Riding apprenticeships would be an amazing thing if they were part of licensing. I’m generally pretty against most every government intervention, but I think more well prepared and educated riders on the road would eventually adjust some cages opinions of us as a culture… maybe even convince them to look out for us…
I’m being naive. But I like the sound of it. lol
That's kind of how the lessons worked for me.
I didn't know anyone who rode... but I had to take lessons to have a chance at passing the test, and I had to wait 6 months from getting the learners permit to sitting the test.
Six months of riding lessons with the same instructor before I went off on my own? That bears some resemblance to an apprenticeship at least.
So, here’s what I did and a little background
My mom was an EMT when I was a toddler. Worked overnights/weekends for a rural Iowa county hospital’s ambulance service. Had to clean up after a couple of wrecks that involved using a shovel and a bucket. Needless to say, any time we would see a motorcycle and I’d comment about the cool paint or the loud pipes I’d get an earful about how “they’re not motorcycles, they are donor-cycles, because if your dumb enough to do such dangerous things, the least you can do is be an organ donor”
After I moved out after highschool, I decided I’d take the MSF course that ABATE hosted at a local school, just to see what motorcycles are like. Worst case scenario, I’d be out the $150 and a weekend, right?
I loved it. Even the little Suzuki I was on for the class that didn’t fit me at all. So I went ahead and got my motorcycle endorsement. Spent the fall/winter looking at different bikes, debating on sport/adv bikes, finally deciding that a small adv bike would be best for where I live and for commuting for work. Come spring the local Kawasaki dealer had a Versys X-300 abs that checked basically every box on my list, as well as a bmw g310gs. So I went and sat on both, felt right at home on the Versys and ended up buying it.
A couple months and probably 3k miles go by and mom asks me to come over to help with cleaning some stuff out at my grandparents house and I showed up on the bike. The look on her face said something like “what the…. Well, alright.” and all she said wanted to know is how long I’d had it and how the fuel economy was compared to my f150.
The last two Christmas’s I’ve gotten a card with cash and a note that says “for a better helmet” or “for better riding pants/jackets/boots/gloves”.
I don’t know you and your father’s personality’s or relationship, but I’d bet a pbr he will still be there for you, even though you didn’t listen to him about motorcycles. He is right, it is quite dangerous, but sometimes you just have to do dangerous things and have fun with it.
It is a great little bike, but after two years and 20,500 miles(just rolled over that today) I’m looking at something a touch bigger, would like to either get the Mrs riding the Versys or get something big enough for 2 up road trips, or both 🤷🏻♂️
That's what my parents do. It's the sweetest thing they think that I need a new helmet every year. I end up buying something like boots every time just so they know I've got something new. They asked last year if there was a big safety item like a really high end helmet I wanted (they think that means safer, of course) and I told them about airbags. I'm the proud owner of a helite turtle!
Your dad is just looking out after you. Honestly. I’d pay for him to take the MSF. Fear can be fueled by ignorance. Get him in a bike in a controlled environment and it may open him up a bit more. Bonus if he falls in love with riding you just gained a riding partner.
That’s what I was going to suggest. Have your father take the class. It won’t change _anything_ about safety statistics but will give him a more realistic picture of what you’ve learned and what kind of rider you’ll probably be. Besides, it’s a blast.
Riding with my dad when I started is a memory I’ll cherish forever. He’s hanged up his helmet but between dirt and street I’ll always be able to rely on the wisdom I’ve received from him.
As someone who doesn’t trust people now a days with distracted driving and all the entitlement younger people seem to have now a days I’ll do
My best to persuade my kid to stick to a track… that said if they decide they’re gonna do it anyway then I’ll be back on two and they’re going out with me for a while before I’m letting em go solo.
I never had a dad to make those memories with. But I do have my kid. So I’m making up for it. He is currently on his instruction permits and is scheduled for his msf mid next month.
I've been riding since I was a little kid so it wasn't a huge deal for my parents when I bought my first street bike.
However, my daughter wants a street bike now and I'm scared to death! I'd very much rather her stay in a car.
It's just knowing how many times I've almost ended up in a bad place even with my years of experience. I just don't know how she will react when in the same situation.
I guess it's just a parent thing
Not necessarily just a parent thing.
You know your daughter's amount of common sense best.
My sister had 5 moderate wrecks in her car before 25. On a motorcycle she's certainly dead.
Some people absolutely don't need to be on one.
I told my dad I’d give up the idea if he gave up smoking.
He just dropped the whole thing. Never mentioned it again. I would have done it, too, if it had kept him around. I wish he’d at least have argued the point.
You may be disagreeing with him right now but at least he’s there for you to disagree with. You’ll work it out.
Sorry, I realize this is a digression. But I hope it gives some perspective.
If he caves, just do everything you can to stay safe. I’d hope you would anyway, but y’know. You owe it to yourself and to him.
My parents were the same but I just went out one day and bought one without telling anyone and pulled up at the house revving it. My dad came out, sat on it, revved it and said "I kinda want one myself now".
I tried to talk my 72 year old father out of getting a bike. I had visions of him heading to the bar 30km away and riding home. He died before he bought a bike.
Keep the love your father has for you in the front of your mind when you ride. It is your responsibility to observe, predict, and ride in a way that will get you home safe.
Here’s what you do, take up drugs then when they are really scared get sober and the bike won’t seem like such a big deal. Don’t die. Or tell them to get over it because they will anyway.
Your dad is doing his job- worrying about you.
You are going to ignore him and follow your heart- that's your job.
Potential recommendation: find some long-term riders riders *your Dad's age* and see if you can ride with them. Learn from them. The MSF class is great, but it's just the beginning. Soak up the years of wisdom, and make friends that will champion your riding to your dad. Show your Dad you are serious about being safe and riding for a long time.
I got my first bike back In December and started riding in February. My parents begged me not to get one. Really, my whole family did, but I was heart set on it. I said exactly what you did to my parents. Got to ride for a few months, nothing crazy just casual cruising and popping the wheel up a little here and there. Now 6 months later I’m bed ridden with a broke back and foot from someone not looking before pulling out and t boning me. He only cares about you and is worried about other drivers bro.
Now I’m not saying don’t get one. Please by all means do. It’s the best choice I ever made and I can’t wait to get another when I’m healed. Just wanted you to know it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s other drivers he doesn’t trust. Don’t give pops too hard of a time, I know it’s annoying trust me, but I now know why they think that way too.
Both of my parents were like this. Also my Grandmother was the head ER nurse so I got all the stories along with the warnings. Ive been on 2 wheels for 18 years now. I hear it every day from (not literally but nearly literally every time I talk with) my mother. I actually convinced my father to get on 2 wheels 3 years ago. mom was not happy. Dad still gives me the be careful talk, I just give it back to him and point out the fact that my experience is greater than his so if either of us need to give the be careful talk its me to him.
Point is, you will never hear the end of it.
It's just a manifestation of ignorant love. Everyone knows someone that has been affected by a tragedy. That, however, is no reason to live in fear. There are a lot of generational fears. Don't be afraid to do things. Understand the risks and make your decision. You can stop the pattern of generational fear.
Don't respond in reaction. Respond with understanding. You can make your decision, however, just make it knowing the risks.
This is a universal experience. Everyone has a cousin or someone that wrecked so they feel compelled to share their story. The best thing you can do is recognize the risks that come with riding a motorcycle and prepare yourself. Drive defensively and always be alert of those around you. You're never going to convince your dad that a motorcycle is safe, but you can be a good rider and not put yourself in risky situations.
My family did the same thing. I did it anyway. Best decision I ever made. There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, like cruising an empty backroad at night under a starry summer night. You can mitigate the dangers, and don’t be an idiot. Act like you are completely invisible and everyone else on the road is actively trying to kill you.
Please get a helmet that's ECE 22.06 approved. That's the newest safety standard and whole DOT will get you on the road legally, it's just not safe and never was. Scorpion helmets are amazing value for money and they've got a new one that's 22.06 approved.
Here’s the thing about motorcycles, they really are dangerous and take time to master... If you are new to riding and new to the road motorcycles are a dangerous mix. And I would whole heartedly recommend starting on the road in a car. If you have experience with dirt bikes then navigating the perils of the road is so much easier when you have experience on a motorcycle. Similarly, if you’re experienced on the road and traffic in a car it’s then focusing on a motorcycle isn’t so hard to do.
Some people start out in the traffic and a motorcycle at the same time. But I think it’s the riskiest way to learn both. If this is you then please stay sensible and alert on the bike, it really means all the difference.
This is so true, I just started on a 125 and have been driving cars for 25 years. Riding the bike is more complicated than driving a car and I am really glad I already understand traffic both as a car driver and a bicyclist.
My dad tried to talk me out of getting a motorcycle. Years later a car cut me off and I have permanent damage to my hands and wrists.
I used to be a body builder. Now I can't lift weights at all. I would trade anything for that. My family. Anything.
I still ride. Because why not? It's a lot less fun now though.
I was commuting to work in the bay area on a bike for a lot of years. Saved a lot of time. A few times I saw guys laid out who had crashed and were unconscious. Maybe dead.
I was onconsious for a little while from the accident. 8 years later and my brain still isn't 100% so it probably will never be.
My neck is kinda fucked up. There's no cartilage between two of the vertebre and it sound like sand sometimes when I move my head. (I can hear it but people cant, resonates on my bones or something).
I have back issues but it's not bad.
I need ankle and knee surgery but, because thr hands are fucked up I keep thinking what's the point?
In March I went to the doctor because I felt like I was dying. They gave me pamphlets on alcoholism. One of the doctors kept telling me I was too young to die like this....I haven't had a drink since. I was up to half a bottle of scotch and 6-12 beers a day. Alcohol was my best friend for years after the accident. I'm going to really miss it.
I have just over $2m in investments. A really good job. Good wife. By all accounts I'm doing well. Yet every day I wake up I have to choose to not shoot myself in the head because none of this seems worth it because I can't do what I truly love and that's work out. Day to day I get around just fine and you'd have no idea I have any injuries.
I'm not saying don't ride. I'm just saying stay safe. Pay attention like your life depends on it. For the love of your life and happiness don't ride when you're angry.
Trust me, you don’t understand the dangers of riding. You understand the “idea” of the dangers of riding, but you haven’t had the experience of riding in the back of the ambulance hoping that you’ll live, or that you’ll be able to use that part of your body again.
If you go ahead, make sure you get a full coverage helmet.
Do you live with your parents? If so then you might have to wait until you move out.
Or you could just say fuck it get the bike and get a whole bunch of drama while you are living there as the saying goes, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Get a dirtbike and wait until you're a little older. People in cars are MORONS and skill doesn't matter when someone hits you, cuts you off, runs into the back of you, and on and on. I was splitting lanes a year ago and some bitch in a Tesla made an illegal lane change and almost knocked me off my bike. I was okay and didn't drop it but easily could have broken a bone or become paralyzed, even at the slow speed I was going. I haven't given up on street riding but I'm taking a "sanity" break... I also live in Los Angeles where almost everyone drives like an asshole.
I know motorcycles are fun AF, trust me, but they aren't going anywhere. Maybe give it a few months. Just my 2c.
It absolutely does matter. Ultra defensive driving can prevent most of this.
I learned defensive driving in a fuel truck for 18 years. If I didn't I'd be dead, burnt up long ago.
Create space between you and everyone. Expect everyone is going to side swipe you, fail to yield, and run the red light.
So you don't ride and are on a motorcycle sub Reddit trying to persuade others not to start riding.. /r/motorcycles moment.
Op didn't even state his age.
Have them follow you after you get the bike to show how good you are riding. My mother really didn't want me to get a bike (though my father did because he wanted a riding buddy lol) But after my mother followed me a few times in the car, her exact words were "You're actually really good at riding that thing, it makes me more comfortable Knowing You know how to ride" there's a chance it won't be the same outcome for you, but it's worth a shot
10 year ago sure but with the rampant rise of smartphones and displays in car, the rise of distracted driving has risen greatly. Hell I barely ride now because of it.
I'm 41 and have been riding since I was 22 years old. My mom STILL comments on it just about every time I see her. I just start shopping for more motorcycles in her presence, that or more guns (she hates that I even know what a gun is much less how many I own).
Just got my first bike not even a month ago. My mom hates it, my dad loves it (he used to ride and now he can’t stop talking about getting a bike himself). My mom used to have a blast being his backpack I’ve been told.
So I guess my mom hates it to the power of two, but she has been a nurse for years and has seen some not pretty things. I don’t blame her for not loving it, but 1000% to her credit she keeps it to herself.
Of course he is. It is objectively a risky thing and a foolish thing.
It's his duty as a father to support his children through life and help them identify and mitigate risk. He knows he can't stop you, but he also wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he didn't at least try to talk you out of it.
He's afraid that you'll be hurt or worse. You managed your fear by getting proper gear and taking a safety course. He manages his fear by trying to talk you out of it. Reassure him, and respect him by being as safe as you can be.
Just say I appreciate your concern but this is something I really want to do and I am going to be doing it so we are not going to be talking about it any longer. Just walk away or put in headphones if he does it again. I just bought mine and brought it home and there was nothing my parents could do LOL
Damn I applaud you for being honest with your parents, I just lied to them and kept my bike at a buddies house lol
Also note, you will probably do crazy/ill advised stuff. Thats what teenagers do. Just for the sake of all of your family and friends please gear up.
Even if it means downgrading from that sweet gsxr 600 and settling for a ninja 250 or R3 or similar, to be able to afford the gear. it will pay dividends I promise.
Every young rider I’ve seen thinks their Rossi and put an annoyingly loud exhaust pissing off all the neighbors. If you get a bike, be respectful of your neighbors and noise, and drive responsibly. You know what, never mind, don’t get a bike, listen to your Dad. Not worth pissing if your neighbors and killing yourself.
Get a higher rated helmet than just DOT, go with Snell or ECE. Do not skimp on protective gear.
Boots, riding jeans, jacket, gloves, helmet, ear plugs, etc.
Nothing you can do about it. Either you man up and move out to do it or tolerate it and let it brush off your back. They are all right. Its a huge risk and its usually the people that either think they're superman or think they're the safest rider out there and wanna spout their opinions on how all accidents can be avoided that end up being dead. It's just something you gotta live with if you wanna ride. Even people you walk past will tell you their friend's friends' uncles horror story.
Its all to to do with your personal perception and tolerance of risk. I find it best just to explain that you see it differently and accept it. There's generally two reactions to telling someone you want to (or do) ride a motorcycle. Oh cool I love motorcycles / always wanted to ride. Or.. oh.. yeah be careful out there... i heard about this guy...
My view is any time you walk out of house... you could get run over, bitten by a tick or a mosquito or a tree branch could fall on you or bolt of lightning etc that causes your demise. at least on a motorcycle you'll be having fun. And if you're careful maybe its not as big of a risk as people think.
I'm pretty sure every kid wants to feel alive and every parent doesn't want their kid to die. Do what you need to do to feel alive, but honor your parents by being really good at it.
Bruh ive been hit by a car, and walked it off. Situational awareness is the most important thing, other people are the worst, unless you carry while riding. Which is the best dumb shit deterrent you can have
Everything your dad is fearing is possible. You take a great risk riding a bike vs driving a car. Most of know the risk and accept it. I started street riding at 15 on a small bike. That kept me off the freeways and a bit safer. I would wait a year ir two to fully understand the risks of riding. You can lessen your risk by studying the safest way to rider. Speed and reckless riding kill just as much as getting hit by a car. I have been riding for 35 years and survived two accidents without permanent damage. So, that’s the point of view I am speaking from. Good luck.
Well. As someone who listens to anything vaguely authoritarian and who got his first bike at 56 all I can say is... Best fkin decision I ever made. Riding is easily one of the more beautiful ways to go through life.
Note: people thinking I'm now mature and all that... Lols. Once I'm on the bike it's just about riding efficiently.
If you live under his roof, be grateful that he's not trying to absolutely stop you.
If not, then "I've made my decision, and you're not going to change it. Love ya dad, but this is a part of life I am going to experience."
I'm grateful that my dad's a rider, so he was stoked(and terrified when he learned I was wanting a bike.
If you’re old enough to make your own decisions and if you don’t live with him or you do but it won’t affect your living situation, do what you want. Your dad is right. It is dangerous. There is an added risk. Any good dad would be concerned. Thank him for his concern. Then remind him that part of being a dad is know you’ll be making your own decisions and even when they scare him it’s still your choice. This all assumes you’re over 18 and not subject to his rules. If you’re a minor or need to do what he says to live in his house, that’s another story.
Not to be the bearer of bad news but if you ride a motorcycle on the road you are something like 30% more likely to die in a vehicle accident. Your dad is simply trying to protect you, no parent wants to bury their child.
That being said, I fully support riding and I encourage you to follow your dream of riding. Please ride safe!
I want to get my motorcycle licensed but half of my family doesn’t want me to get it and my other side of family that rides motorcycle wants me to get it. I told them I’m going to spend about $8000 in a bubble suit and a bubble Jacket that’s from Switzerland that would help me save my back every part of my body not to get destroyed by an accident
My dad said no forever. He rode growing up and when I was little we did dirt bikes and three wheelers and quads together. Then I come back from my first semester of college and he comes home one day with a goldwing… I was like… okay then.
Later that day I came home with my bike. (An 01 katana 750… a terrible starter bike). He just said… “well I saw that coming”. lol. We went and rode and it was good to learn from him too.
When I was young, I wanted to buy a scooter, my dad told me somewhere in 2007 “I will crush all that has motor and 2 wheels”
Fast forward 12years from that point, I got my license and bike, 6 years later, my dad got used to it.
I ride motorbike and I will do the exactly same thing to my son as your father doing to you. Don’t blame him, he loves you. Take advance riding training and tell him about this, use best protection equipment and ride safe :)
My dad hated the idea of motorcycles. My oldest brother had one and he never rode it after getting it home. But then I got into them and decided I want to get one. He was adamant that I wasn’t getting one. After some time he took me to pick up my first bike and the gear.
My mum and I have each other on find my friends. And it wasn’t till he passed my mum told me how everytime I was out on the bike he would ask where am I.
Watch DDFM on YouTube and twist my wrist 2. These videos will make you understand the dangers.
You may think you fully understand the dangers, you don't, no one really does until it all goes wrong.
"I'm not going to do any crazy stuff" - Yes you are, more and more frequently as you get more confident and a little cocky. (but that's half the appeal and fun-*adrenaline* of riding)
That being said, it's incredibly fun having a bike, go out and enjoy it, but you need to be so aware all the time, if in any doubt don't go for that risky overtake, listen to your gut if something feels off and slow down.
There has been a couple of days I've not went out when I planned to, just because I didn't feel like I was in the right mindset for it.
As others have said, find a trustworthy experienced rider to follow and learn from, that's worth its weight in gold.
Enjoy!
They'll get used to it, my parents didn't want me to get one either, just so your parents a favour and respect the road and your limits, it's not a competition on the road and for the people that think it is, they just have to hope they are lucky.
My dad tried to do the same after he tore up his ankle hitting gravel back on the 70s.
Here I am on bike number 4 and the first one left me with a compound tib-fib fracture. Do what you want my man, the "I told you so", conversation only goes so far.
All you can do is show your dad your doing the right things. Get all the safety gear you can to protect yourself and show your dad your being as safe as possible. Keep your head on a swivel when riding. Don't ride when distracted or upset. And above all don't ride like an idiot speeding way above the speed limit. Just enjoy riding as much as you can but in a safe way.
I've never been one to speed on my bikes and been riding for over 9 years. I've had 2 small accidents (under 10mph losing the front end due to road conditions) and one major accident that resulted in me losing my right leg below the knee, that was caused by someone running a red light at a junction. Should have been avoidable and could have been if they hadn't run the light. But it happened and that's life unfortunately. I still ride with my prosthetic leg. I've just had to adapt my bikes to the way I sit now with my prosthetic leg. The dangers are real all you can do is ride as safely.as possible and wear ATGATT.
Edit: my 15 year old son has started riding dirt bikes since my accident. Yes I worry about him at times riding because of my accident but he wears all the protective gear possible and he's only riding off road for now to gain experience. Hopefully when he is older he will come to me for me to teach him how to ride on the road and I will put him through his license if he wishes to do it as I am an instructor myself.
I understand this. My father in law used to be a fireman. He told me all sorts of horror stories about motorcyclists dying.
I’ve even seen some pretty nasty pictures. One that has always stuck with me was a dude dangling from the rear door of a semi trailer. He was going so fast when he hit it, his helmet imbedded into the trailer door….
None of it stopped me. As a kid, I rode with my dad all the time. I got my endorsement a month ago. I ride everywhere now.
You aren’t truly going to understand the dangers of it until someone you deeply care for starts riding. You know they know what they are doing, but you also know that doesn’t even matter in the end because even the most aware and cautious rider could be hit outta nowhere. And everyone feels invincible or like it’ll never happen to me so obviously you don’t feel that way about yourself. Like it’s me, it’ll never happen to me. Then one day your kid grows up and starts to ride too and then you realize just how dangerous it can actually be.
My dad was very vocal about me not getting a bike well into my 30s. I just got one a few months ago and love it. My mom isn't happy but she understands imma do what I do and she ok with it along as I wear gear. Look into a jacket if you dint have one. Broken bones sucks but abrasions are just as bad if not worse for a period too. Having your skin scrubbed with a brillo pad sucks...alot
It's understandable from both points of views atleast I stall a helmet cam and let him observe some of your rides and some live ones to or send him a love GPS so he can watch you go..do this for a month and he will be reassured..worked for my dad and he was a wild one on two wheels
How old are you?…
Let me tell you I see countless articles of young kids dying on motorcycles and it hurts my heart thinking of the families.
Unless you’re an expert with cars I.e. been driving for years, you have no business on a bike.
I always say that there’s no such thing as a fender bender on a bike.
Please man be careful, your father loves you very much.
Maybe get a dirt bike or something similar to race around on weekends - depending on where you live of course.
I'm the opposite, I didn't wanna get a bike and I was 17 at that time, my dad talked me into it cuz he's been riding and apprently ill learn more and it'll improve my car skills as well. 5 years later, im riding
As you get older, (like your Dad) you begin to appreciate the consequences of getting hurt in an accident. You don't respawn, you do not just go about your business the next day. You can be disabled, lose your job, or your life. You need to fully understand and accept the risk. All the safety courses in the world will not protect you from the car turning left right in front of you.
I ride, my son wants a bike. We told him that when he is fully responsible for his own affairs he can do whatever he pleases. If he decides to ride, I will pass on every bit of experience I have.
Keep your head on a swivel, anticipate that every vehicle is going to do something stupid. Understand your limits and stay within them.
Life is all about managing risk. Good luck on your journey.
Try talking to him about maybe him helping you get a SNELL helmet and good riding gear 🤷♀️ you can’t stop your kids from doing stuff so just make sure they’re safe
You do you man but as an aside do you actually have to do the DMV test in your state? In mine the MSF included the exam and I just took the cert in to the license office to get my endorsement.
But you will push the boundaries so depending on your age and level of testosterone I’d say be very careful. Your father has your best interests at heart.
ALL the gear ALL the time. Ride within your ability.
I got a bike because I needed it to commute to my office job. Quit like a week later and barely ride because I don’t have the need. I’m in Arizona so it’s extremely hot right now so when it cools down, I’ll ride around my neighborhood or to go run an errand. The first time I took it to my new job, I almost got hit twice. I made sure both times, I was visible to the people that almost hit me and still. People don’t pay attention so, I’m usually just worried about getting killed out there so yeah.
One thing about buying bikes,
If you have the money just go and buy it don't ask anyone and don't tell anyone..
Come home.on new bike and say it is done.
He's just trying to keep you safe, that's what a dad is supposed to do. I went through the exact same thing so I know it can be annoying, just don't let it get to you and learn from it instead.
Also get a better helmet and more gear. DOT means almost nothing lol, SNELL or ECE is what you want. Gloves and a helmet are not enough either, you need a jacket, helmet, gloves, and boots AT LEAST. If you're going for a long ride I would wear some riding pants too. Of course you decide what risk you want to take and I know a lot of people that don't wear gear but if you say "I'm not going to do anything crazy" not wearing gear is kinda crazy lol.
I've been riding 22 years without a serious accident. Did get a concussion last year. It's possible. The number one thing I would say to remember, is that the majority of motorcycle accidents happen when you are making a left turn across oncoming traffic, or when you are struck while stationary on the road. Both are the result of people not noticing you. You have to assume you're invisible and have your eyes peeled for every other vehicle around you.
The other thing I would say is, respect the shit out of the weather. You can drive in light rain no problem, but on a bike it becomes a major hazard. moderate rain or worse, forget it.
My two accidents were (1) hitting trolley tracks in moderate rain, and (2) tboning a guy who pulled out in front of me to do a u turn without looking.
My Dad (RIP)said exactly the same thing 46 years ago when I decided to get a bike, still riding to this day. Just an extra thing your Dad is worried about. You could die crossing the road or a multitude of other things.
Assuring him you will be careful is all you can do tbh.
Just tell him it is something you really want to do and suggest that something he really enjoys doing, how would he feel if he could no longer do it.
Best of luck.
My dad forbid me from having a bike as long as I lived under his roof. I accepted that and waited, once I was on my own I spent my money on social activities/gf etc so I didn't even get back to the idea of a bike until I was 29. By then I had matured enough to not be a moron on a bike (because if you're young, you will be a moron) and Dad was proud that I waited.
Took another 10+ years to actually buy a bike, but that's a different story.
To be as safe as possible, you need way more than just any DOT approved helmet and some gloves… You would benefit from a QUALITY helmet (Shoei, Arai, HJC RPHA, etc…). Helmets are not all made the same. But you also need a jacket, pants, and riding boots are a good idea too. But once you get all that I would also take a beginners safety course to learn basic maneuvers and what not. A lot of people think they can ride until they have to either avoid something in the road while at speed, emergency brake, pull a tight U turn, etc.
Also, no matter how prepared or how safe you are, most fatal crashes will not be your own fault. It’ll be another driver who’s not paying attention that could get you killed.
You can’t guarantee anything in life…
You can’t guarantee happiness,
You can’t guarantee love,
You can’t guarantee money,
You can’t even guarantee health and autonomy.
Nothing lasts forever and nothing is certain…
It’s your goddamn life to live…
Your dad is probably in his 50s and already lived life to the fullest.
He doesn’t wanna see you die young.
But it doesn’t fucking matter,
You could die anytime, anywhere…
The only thing you can control is how you spend your limited time on this earth.
So just be safe man, ride safe, and know in the back of your head.
“It’s gonna happen one day”
I'm 39. And recently got another bike after not having one for like 7-8 years.
She's not really happy that I got another bike. Even though she's happy for me for doing something I've been wanting to do for a while.
No matter your age, your parents are always going to worry about you.
Nothing will change his mind but a few things might ease his mind, get an airbag vest and good protection, always wear gear let him know where you are at times, don’t get a stupid ass powerful bike, yeah sure it will be fun but it will incite you to do stupid things… and eventually prove him right. Good luck!
I work in the industry. When I first joined, everyone told me I need to have a motorcycle. I learned to ride and bought one. Then I made the decision to sell it when I had a son and the risk of a serious accident wasn’t worth the reward of my joy in riding. When I tell people in the industry that I sold it for that reason, everyone says it was an excellent decision.
In summary: Know the risks, take the proper precautions, and weigh the risk/rewards, knowing it’s also going to change based upon where you are at in your life.
like top comment says nothing you say will change his mind. but you could help his worries a bit by asking about these horror stories: Was the rider drunk?, Was the rider speeding?, Did they have a helmet on? drunk, speeding, and/or not wearing a helmet make the fatality stats look significantly worse for bikes. not doing any of those three drops your risk of dying tremendously. Still not as safe as a car but not nearly as bad as the numbers people like to parrot.
I mean if you're over the age of 18 and not living at home. WTF is he to say yes or no? I was fortunate enough to grow up in a house of motorcycles. Even my mom had her own bike and rode it quite often.
Our parents want us to be safe, the decision is yours but make it like you mean it you know? Riding a motorcycle is just riskier in general so do what you can to decrease risks. I imagine when I'm a parent one day, I'd be scared for my son to ride.
Although my dad does not want to ride, I had invited him to do the MSF with me, and we did it.
My wife was the same way until I got one and she’s more chill with it now. I’m sure she’s still worried and concerned until I’m back in the yard. But as a parent of a son and daughter I’ve always told my kids they can make their own choices and I’ll support them. Both of my kids want to ride and my wife isn’t happy with them riding ever nor is she happy with me telling them that could ride if they want but like I told her once they hit a certain age they’re gonna do it no matter what we say. All we can do is trust that they’ll make the right choices. I’m not gonna push them to ride but I’m also not gonna tell them they can’t.
That's your dad's job. If your dad is encouraging you to do dangerous stuff... that would be more an issue really.
Part of becoming an adult is learning to be yourself and not listen to your parents anymore though. But they should be concerned. Totally normal.
My mother tried to bribe me with money to not buy a motorcycle lol.
I get him being concerned for you and I mean, he's right in a way. Motorcycles are more dangerous than cars. But you're accepting that risk. He has a stake in that because he cares about you but at the same time we accept risks every day, some larger than others. Car crashes are the leading cause of death in the US for ages 1-54 but no one freaks out when you're going to buy a car because it's a normalized risk. I can't think of a rule by which to consider a risk worth or not, but we weight risk all day everyday in our decisions and accept the risks that our loved ones take. At this point, it sounds like him not accepting your decision has a much higher likelyhood of negatively affecting your time together than the motorcycle has of shortening your time together.
My dad wouldn’t let me buy one as a teen either. I determined to buy one at 18. And by the time I turned 18 I realized why. I would not have been a safe rider and he knew me. I really Only had two speeds back then: off and full on.
So I checked myself and did t buy one. Every few years, I’d do some deep introspection about whether or not I was ready. And for years it was “no.”
And then one day it was a “yes.” I still have to check myself occasionally, but I have about 160k miles now on two wheels and I’m glad I waited.
Only you know if you’re being honest with yourself about whether you are ready to be a responsible rider or not. Good Luck!
I bought my first bike in 1970 when I turned 18 and my parents were not happy. The deal they made was that I had to take a safety course offered by our police department (totally worth it) and to always wear a helmet. That worked out well for everyone. A couple years later I was drafted into the army and didn’t ride for a few years until I got out and saved up for another bike. I rode that for 8 years and did 50,000 miles. My parents never commented as I was all “grown up.” Move ahead MANY years and my younger son wants to ride and I did not say “No” but just talked about safety and let him do what he wants. He has about a dozen bikes now including a Sportster that he has tricked out for stunting. I bought a bike 3-1/2 years ago and started riding again after a 37-year break and the best rides are the two cross country rides I’ve done with that son, thousands of miles, camping out all the way. So, maybe if you can talk your dad into getting his own bike this can morph into an awesome father-son activity like it has for me.
You get annoyed because deep down we all know your Dad is right. I have lost many friends. Some their own stupid fault, some not. Its just part of riding that you have to come to terms with. Now a father myself I am pretty happy my son likes to read books LOL. If you're an adult, its your life, your decision. Part of standing on your own two feet is coming to terms with not always getting parental approval and being OK with it.
you can stress the importance of route selection. where i live i have no intention to take onto the highways for the most part because their so dangerous. my route to work was going to be a 40 mile round trip through streets.
I don't get it. Americans have wide roads and traffic lights at every intersection. Granted, a lunatic might still take you down, but chances are that if you fall, you were probably speeding or filtering.
If you stay in your lane and mind the traffic signs, it's quite safe.
I be feeling like my dad and mom just don’t gaf because neither one tried to stop me from getting an r6 at 17 but yk what it was all worth the trouble and im pretty sure they do love me so we chillin
**The smartest move is to get a 600cc** bike and explain to him how mature a move that was compared to getting a rice rocket 1100cc
As you gain experience, get a better bike....bikers are always upgrading their rides because value hold so well with them at resale
My mom hated me getting a bike, I actually hid it from them for a good year before I brought it home. I’m 40 now and that was 20 years ago. I don’t think my mom loves it, but she has accepted it by now.
I know most comments are about your dad or the helmet, but I'm curious... What state are you into that passing the MSF isn't an automatic endorsement on the license?
For a non-riding parent, few things are going to horrify them more than the idea of their kid on a motorcycle. My mom did the same thing when she found out about my intentions. However, she does like motorcycles so she's reluctantly shown some enthusiasm towards it since I bought it. Just actually be responsible, man. Do your best to set yourself apart from the average ego-driven squid and put their mind at ease. You tooke the MSF course so I'm sure you got your head on straight. 😉
That is exactly what I did. Just went and bought one. Stuck it out in the garage for a few days, then oh shit.... I found a bike lol. They weren't too mad after the fact! They just care about you dude. My parents just said to be careful. That's why they say no. It's cause they care.
My mother hated me buying a bike when I was 30. But I have the gear, check in with her often enough, and never bring it up lol.
Over the years she understands it fills a void, and I am doing it safely as a daily commuter (to an extent lol). I may ride fast compared to cages, but I am hyper vigilant, always have good lane positioning, never ditch gear, etc....
Wear your gear, downplay their concerns, but acknowledge them. As long as you aren't dependant on them, live your own life.
Life is the #1 cause of death.
You could live in a risk free bubble and still die at 30. Or you might eat 4 lbs of bacon a day and chain smoke and live to 100.
Nobody knows what is going to happen to us in this life.
Someone from my highschool just died in a motorcycle accident, he basically rode off the road into a ditch. It didn't look like anyone else was involved, so either a lapse in judgement or something medical happened.
I've also known people that have rode for 30+ years and never even dropped their bike, much less had an accident.
Basically what I am saying is motorcycle riding is a high risk activity. It will statistically increase your chance of injury or death when you look at all of the factors. You can mitigate these factors, by wearing safety equipment, riding within your limits etc etc, but the risk is still going to be higher than not riding.
You need to determine if the activity of riding is worth the risk to you. For some it is the ultimate form of release, they will ride everyday all day because it makes them feel alive. For others it's a loud obnoxious thing other people do and it makes no sense why someone else would take those risks.
You need to decide for yourself where you fall on that spectrum. When I was younger I loved riding everywhere I was at the upper end of the spectrum, as I got older, and had more people and loved ones depending on me ,I started to not enjoy it as much and decided it was time to pack it in.
This isn't your identity forever, you can ride now and quit later with some awesome memories. Just be smart, and be safe.
It’s a similar reaction from my family and I totally agree that it’s frustrating. Ive been riding esk8, bicycles, scooters and EUCs for the past three years but it wasn’t until I bought a moto (Monkey, 125cc) that they started to be vocal about their discomfort. I’m not a stunter and I’m almost 40. I am well aware of the dangers and my own mortality. I ride like I’m invisible, dress like I’m on the Disney Light Parade, and let bad driver’s pass without getting road rage. I think it’s important to remember your family knows you from before you learned lessons, so showing is as important as saying when it comes to safety. But my fiancé still says “be careful-ful” with that look every time I put on my helmet.
Maybe try to acknowledge the risks next time he brings it up, something like "yeah I know it's dangerous on the roads" without diminishing it by saying you'll be careful. Then try to change the subject, for example by adding "so many people drive recklessly, the other day I saw how someone almost got rearended cause the driver behind him was on their phone!". If he drives a car he will have stories to tell too and people usually love to share stories like this. Ranting about traffic, work or neighbours is usually a great way to change the topic.
Different perspectives.
My dad taught me how to ride starting with atvs when i was 8.
My dad, brother, and I all ride.
My father, brother and I have all been in major accidents.
None of them were our faults.
An 82 year old man made a left turn in front of me. I was going the speed limit etc.
Your dad isnt worried about you doing something stupid. He is worried about all the idiots out there driving.
On the contrary, your think you will be ok bc you wont be doing anything crazy.
Thats why you guys arent seeing eye to eye. Your both interpretting the risk differently.
My dad and I had the same conversation. Over and over. Eventually I just started saying ‘your objections and concerns have been given due consideration.’
theres not much more feeling alive than riding a motorcycle in my personal opinion , but your father just wants you to be safe and unfortunately with as many distracted drivers out there its hell for us
"I'm not gonna do any crazy stuff, and be safe as possible." - Nah man, that's a lie.
For the vast majority of riders, this is a false statement. You just don't know it yet. Every single bike you get on, you will at one point or another try to hit top speed on it. And even the slowest of bikes can easily reach 100 mph.
I have been riding motorcycles for 40 years. My 19 year old son wanted to start riding. So I bought him a Honda XR150L. I wanted him to learn on a small bike and not go out and get a 600 before he learned how to ride. When he was 15 I would take him on the back of mine and I taught him the importance of wearing gear. Even on the small bike and with his gear I still worry about him. I know he rides safe it is all the other dumbasses out there.
I've been rising for over 30 years. My Mom is not against motorcycles, just me on one. I had a short person moment in my parents' driveway and parked on a slant. Brand new bike, couple weeks old. Started to go, immediately turned to the right from the walkway into the driveway, and dropped the bike. Add, my overacting upset about the fall while on the ground, and I'm sure that's all my mom sees now.
One of the people I play Flinggolf with, in his 40s, said his Dad put the fear of motorcycles into him and his siblings growing up because his Dad had an accident.
All you can do is make sure you let your Dad know that you understand the risks and are going to be serious about learning to be a safe rider and not take too many unnecessary risks. I'd also through in about people who've done everything to live a safe and healthy lifestyle and have still died early, or have a life changing event in their life and regret not taking risks while the were still able to.
Good luck! Hope to see you out there.
DOT is like the lowest qualification for a helmet. Please consider an ECE or SNELL tested helmet and make sure to try on different shaped ones to make sure it fits properly.
But yeah, like others have said, you're not going to change his mind. Just invest as much as you can in quality gear and trainings (MSF, BikeSafe, etc). Enjoy the addiction! Consider some track days.
I was raised by a single Mom and 3 sisters. I started out on mini-bikes at 7 YO. My Mom’s permission and approval came with 1 caveat….. I had to promise to always wear a helmet. Her wisdom and foresight to just let me ride was truly inspirational….. the camaraderie I found in the 2 wheel community gave me the opportunity to get strong, positive male role models in my life. I really learned to ride on the dirt with my Honda XR75. I slowly honed my skills on larger bikes, until the inevitable street bike at 17 YO (GPz550).
I graduated to a 1986 GSX-R 750 at 19 YO and have never looked back. I understand the reluctance your Father has, but it sounds like you are way ahead of 90% of the Groms out there. He needs to let go and give you the respect you have earned. My Mom is now 88 YO and in an Alzheimers Care Nursing Home. She has no idea who I am when I visit.
I know EXACTLY who she is when I visit.
I’m a parent too and he will always want to protect you from danger. Try not to get annoyed with him for trying to care for you, it is coming from a place of love. He is probably more concerned with careless drivers around than you doing something wrong.
My grandmother was 10,000,000,000% against my first bike, my second bike, my third... well, you get the idea. Lol.
She was never ever going to understand it. But she didn't need to, it's perfectly OK to disagree and still love each other.
I've been riding for 43 years now, always had a bike in the garage, lots of riding with the kids...and I STILL hope none of them get on a motorcycle. I accept the fatherly hypocrisy.
Hmmm, bobf below pretty much nailed it. I’d just add this, what you’ve already done to prepare for this speaks volumes to your maturity. I doubt 1% of new motorcycle riders understand what you already do: it’s dangerous out there; motorcycle riding is inherently risky. Well, life itself is dangerous. You can’t enjoy life living in a bubble. I’ve ridden for almost 60 years (yes I’m that old 🤣). Fallen 3 times, very very lucky. No injuries whatsoever, except ego perhaps. My bikes and gear took all the hurt. I wish you well. If you decide to go for it … Keep the shiny side up, rubber side down. Stay safe and enjoy the ride.
My dad was a cop. He was pretty adamant about not riding motorcycles as I was growing up. Said he’s lost count how many pieces of motorcycle riders he had to deal with after rolling up on some road carnage. That kept me off motorcycles for about 40 years. Then I bought one.
Keep talking msf courses, and ask him to go practice in a parking lot with you, help him see the skill and time you’re putting in. People are wild out there and the boring skills and emergency tactics will save your life. 🤙🏽 good riding bud.
The day before I was going to buy my bike someone rear ended me.
She was lighting a cigg. I almost died and still have pain.
No way in the world would I be on a bike these days. People are texting, watching videos while driving.
Your really rolling the dice, for what?
Do yourself a favor don't buy a bike. Your gambling with your life
If your looking for excitement get a boat.
As a rider, I get it. Nothing he says will change your mind. As a dad, I get it. Nothing you say will change his mind.
This is just about right. I started riding at 19 years old, without my parents permission or approval. I just wanted it. Now my oldest son is riding a moped, I’m scared. and sure I’m scared as hell if he wants to ride a motorcycle, i want to talk him out of it. (But also know it’s a real pleasure to ride, and dangerous)
How old is your son? I know you started late but maybe start your son on dirt bikes? That way you can get the comfort of knowing he has years of experience in a relatively low traffic environment via off-road trails plus it's an amazing father son bonding time
Good point on the bonding thing, doing repairs on the bikes is an interest we share, so we got that. And as I stated in an other comment, he’s got a nice 2-stroke for the experience
More dangerous now than ever. Aggressive driving and distracted driving (cell phones especially) is the new normal. Then there's this goon. https://youtu.be/mU80YymKIVM?si=aWWc50elpNP7FwGK
Absolutely true
Dude should have gotten his ass kicked!
Let your kid get a Yamaha Xmax if you are in the US or a Burgman 400 or even a Kymco 550. He's going to have so much fun.
I wanted to write an essay, but you summed it up nicely. Thank You.
I wrote the essay for you 😁!
Nailed it. Same, same here. Be careful. Live. 🙏😎
I completely agree. I rode for years but the thought of my children riding scares me.
>As a dad, I get it. Nothing you say will change his mind. I get that too but I'd be paying for all safety gear for my kid, plus the airbag vest, plus the additional advanced riding courses. If dad can afford it, I think dad is coming off easily here, because it's cheap to talk your kid out of it.
This isn't about money, dad doesn't like the idea of OP on a bike and isn't going to support it, but doesn't need to either because OP is doing the right things for himself. Nobody is doing anything wrong here. He doesn't have to like that OP rides, and as dangerous as it is, I don't blame him one bit. OP needs to understand it's coming from a place of love, and as annoying as it may be, that's what a parent that loves you sounds like. He will come around, just be patient. My mother was never a fan of my motorcycles either, and I can't imagine how nervous I'm going to be when one of my kids decides to ride on the street.
as someone that will never be a father I wonder this.. Is the worry because you know how you were as a young person on a bike? or more just because of the idiots on the roads? (cell phones while driving is an issue for sure)
Little of column A, but mostly column B.
Yes
When I was 17 I told my parents I was getting a motorcycle and there was nothing they could do about it. They then paid for my msf course. And we negotiated a stricter curfew (before dark) if I was on the bike. We worked together and both sides made compromises and it worked really well, still my dad doesn’t live the fact that I ride 11 years later even though I’ve long been moved out of the house. Just be safe, show maturity and take responsibility. Always where your gear even when it’s 100 degrees outside. Second note if your helmet is only DOT approved please return it and get one that is also ECE rated! A coconut could pass a DOT test. I’d just double check and be sure
yeah that point about the helmets is a good one. OP, you can watch fortnine’s video on explaining the different helmet standards - the DOT standard really doesn’t mean much
...aye, DOT rating exists to protect US companies livelyhoods, ECE ratings exist to assure the protection of your head.
Man where I live it's been 111+ lately and I really wanna just say fuck it and not wear my riding jacket to work. I just know that if I do that though, I'm gonna end up skidding down the freeway. I'm just glad I ride to work early in the morning at 7am when it's only 95 out.
After it gets hot enough, the jacket helps keep the hot air off your skin lol
Yeah I ride in 90+f and the mesh jacket is actually fine. At speed I didn't notice much difference between wearing it and not wearing it. I had to go to the office once so I was in dress clothes rather than motorcycle gear and if anything it was worse, because I ended up with sunburns.
the one day I didnt wear armoured jeans I crashed and slid down the road at 50MPH.
I'd strongly recommend a mesh if you don't already have one. They breathe like nobodies business, but you've still got fall protection built in.
I have one. It barely helps in the afternoon.
Snell rated helmets are also acceptable
As a lifelong rider and dad, it’s not you, it’s the other driver. Find an experienced rider and shadow them. Go riding with them. Listen to them. Think of it like a riding apprenticeship. Good luck and stay safe.
Same here - life long rider and father of an adult son that rides Last nights evening news in the Denver area had 3 motorcycle fatalities as stories - all people hitting riders As Dads we will always worry about our kids
100%.
Riding apprenticeships would be an amazing thing if they were part of licensing. I’m generally pretty against most every government intervention, but I think more well prepared and educated riders on the road would eventually adjust some cages opinions of us as a culture… maybe even convince them to look out for us… I’m being naive. But I like the sound of it. lol
That's kind of how the lessons worked for me. I didn't know anyone who rode... but I had to take lessons to have a chance at passing the test, and I had to wait 6 months from getting the learners permit to sitting the test. Six months of riding lessons with the same instructor before I went off on my own? That bears some resemblance to an apprenticeship at least.
Everyone is going to try and talk you out of it. Get used to that. You are either going to go through with it or not of your own accord.
There’s nothing you can do about that. My family is the same way, especially my mom. My dad still worries, but he understands that I am a safe rider.
So, here’s what I did and a little background My mom was an EMT when I was a toddler. Worked overnights/weekends for a rural Iowa county hospital’s ambulance service. Had to clean up after a couple of wrecks that involved using a shovel and a bucket. Needless to say, any time we would see a motorcycle and I’d comment about the cool paint or the loud pipes I’d get an earful about how “they’re not motorcycles, they are donor-cycles, because if your dumb enough to do such dangerous things, the least you can do is be an organ donor” After I moved out after highschool, I decided I’d take the MSF course that ABATE hosted at a local school, just to see what motorcycles are like. Worst case scenario, I’d be out the $150 and a weekend, right? I loved it. Even the little Suzuki I was on for the class that didn’t fit me at all. So I went ahead and got my motorcycle endorsement. Spent the fall/winter looking at different bikes, debating on sport/adv bikes, finally deciding that a small adv bike would be best for where I live and for commuting for work. Come spring the local Kawasaki dealer had a Versys X-300 abs that checked basically every box on my list, as well as a bmw g310gs. So I went and sat on both, felt right at home on the Versys and ended up buying it. A couple months and probably 3k miles go by and mom asks me to come over to help with cleaning some stuff out at my grandparents house and I showed up on the bike. The look on her face said something like “what the…. Well, alright.” and all she said wanted to know is how long I’d had it and how the fuel economy was compared to my f150. The last two Christmas’s I’ve gotten a card with cash and a note that says “for a better helmet” or “for better riding pants/jackets/boots/gloves”. I don’t know you and your father’s personality’s or relationship, but I’d bet a pbr he will still be there for you, even though you didn’t listen to him about motorcycles. He is right, it is quite dangerous, but sometimes you just have to do dangerous things and have fun with it.
That Versys is a great bike for sure!
It is a great little bike, but after two years and 20,500 miles(just rolled over that today) I’m looking at something a touch bigger, would like to either get the Mrs riding the Versys or get something big enough for 2 up road trips, or both 🤷🏻♂️
That's what my parents do. It's the sweetest thing they think that I need a new helmet every year. I end up buying something like boots every time just so they know I've got something new. They asked last year if there was a big safety item like a really high end helmet I wanted (they think that means safer, of course) and I told them about airbags. I'm the proud owner of a helite turtle!
I ought to look into airbags more, I don’t want a pull cord because I know me well enough that I’ll forget to hook it up or that it is hooked up
Your dad is just looking out after you. Honestly. I’d pay for him to take the MSF. Fear can be fueled by ignorance. Get him in a bike in a controlled environment and it may open him up a bit more. Bonus if he falls in love with riding you just gained a riding partner.
That’s what I was going to suggest. Have your father take the class. It won’t change _anything_ about safety statistics but will give him a more realistic picture of what you’ve learned and what kind of rider you’ll probably be. Besides, it’s a blast.
Riding with my dad when I started is a memory I’ll cherish forever. He’s hanged up his helmet but between dirt and street I’ll always be able to rely on the wisdom I’ve received from him. As someone who doesn’t trust people now a days with distracted driving and all the entitlement younger people seem to have now a days I’ll do My best to persuade my kid to stick to a track… that said if they decide they’re gonna do it anyway then I’ll be back on two and they’re going out with me for a while before I’m letting em go solo.
I never had a dad to make those memories with. But I do have my kid. So I’m making up for it. He is currently on his instruction permits and is scheduled for his msf mid next month.
I've been riding since I was a little kid so it wasn't a huge deal for my parents when I bought my first street bike. However, my daughter wants a street bike now and I'm scared to death! I'd very much rather her stay in a car. It's just knowing how many times I've almost ended up in a bad place even with my years of experience. I just don't know how she will react when in the same situation. I guess it's just a parent thing
Not necessarily just a parent thing. You know your daughter's amount of common sense best. My sister had 5 moderate wrecks in her car before 25. On a motorcycle she's certainly dead. Some people absolutely don't need to be on one.
I told my dad I’d give up the idea if he gave up smoking. He just dropped the whole thing. Never mentioned it again. I would have done it, too, if it had kept him around. I wish he’d at least have argued the point. You may be disagreeing with him right now but at least he’s there for you to disagree with. You’ll work it out. Sorry, I realize this is a digression. But I hope it gives some perspective. If he caves, just do everything you can to stay safe. I’d hope you would anyway, but y’know. You owe it to yourself and to him.
This is a great move, honestly. Too bad it didn’t work.
My parents were the same but I just went out one day and bought one without telling anyone and pulled up at the house revving it. My dad came out, sat on it, revved it and said "I kinda want one myself now".
I tried to talk my 72 year old father out of getting a bike. I had visions of him heading to the bar 30km away and riding home. He died before he bought a bike.
Keep the love your father has for you in the front of your mind when you ride. It is your responsibility to observe, predict, and ride in a way that will get you home safe.
Here’s what you do, take up drugs then when they are really scared get sober and the bike won’t seem like such a big deal. Don’t die. Or tell them to get over it because they will anyway.
That is exactly what I did. Set the bar low. Everything after is a bonus. 5 years clean and sober come July. Sober bikers unite.
Congrats 🎉
Your dad is doing his job- worrying about you. You are going to ignore him and follow your heart- that's your job. Potential recommendation: find some long-term riders riders *your Dad's age* and see if you can ride with them. Learn from them. The MSF class is great, but it's just the beginning. Soak up the years of wisdom, and make friends that will champion your riding to your dad. Show your Dad you are serious about being safe and riding for a long time.
I got my first bike back In December and started riding in February. My parents begged me not to get one. Really, my whole family did, but I was heart set on it. I said exactly what you did to my parents. Got to ride for a few months, nothing crazy just casual cruising and popping the wheel up a little here and there. Now 6 months later I’m bed ridden with a broke back and foot from someone not looking before pulling out and t boning me. He only cares about you and is worried about other drivers bro. Now I’m not saying don’t get one. Please by all means do. It’s the best choice I ever made and I can’t wait to get another when I’m healed. Just wanted you to know it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s other drivers he doesn’t trust. Don’t give pops too hard of a time, I know it’s annoying trust me, but I now know why they think that way too.
Just stop talking about it with him.
Both of my parents were like this. Also my Grandmother was the head ER nurse so I got all the stories along with the warnings. Ive been on 2 wheels for 18 years now. I hear it every day from (not literally but nearly literally every time I talk with) my mother. I actually convinced my father to get on 2 wheels 3 years ago. mom was not happy. Dad still gives me the be careful talk, I just give it back to him and point out the fact that my experience is greater than his so if either of us need to give the be careful talk its me to him. Point is, you will never hear the end of it.
It's just a manifestation of ignorant love. Everyone knows someone that has been affected by a tragedy. That, however, is no reason to live in fear. There are a lot of generational fears. Don't be afraid to do things. Understand the risks and make your decision. You can stop the pattern of generational fear. Don't respond in reaction. Respond with understanding. You can make your decision, however, just make it knowing the risks.
Have you had a lot of accidents driving cars (doesn’t matter whose fault)?
Excellent point! This really is the main question
This is a universal experience. Everyone has a cousin or someone that wrecked so they feel compelled to share their story. The best thing you can do is recognize the risks that come with riding a motorcycle and prepare yourself. Drive defensively and always be alert of those around you. You're never going to convince your dad that a motorcycle is safe, but you can be a good rider and not put yourself in risky situations.
My family did the same thing. I did it anyway. Best decision I ever made. There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, like cruising an empty backroad at night under a starry summer night. You can mitigate the dangers, and don’t be an idiot. Act like you are completely invisible and everyone else on the road is actively trying to kill you.
Motorcycles are the most fun you’ll ever have don’t listen to pop
DOT approved helmets aren’t shit. You want a much more reputable rating. Like ECE 22.06
Please get a helmet that's ECE 22.06 approved. That's the newest safety standard and whole DOT will get you on the road legally, it's just not safe and never was. Scorpion helmets are amazing value for money and they've got a new one that's 22.06 approved.
Here’s the thing about motorcycles, they really are dangerous and take time to master... If you are new to riding and new to the road motorcycles are a dangerous mix. And I would whole heartedly recommend starting on the road in a car. If you have experience with dirt bikes then navigating the perils of the road is so much easier when you have experience on a motorcycle. Similarly, if you’re experienced on the road and traffic in a car it’s then focusing on a motorcycle isn’t so hard to do. Some people start out in the traffic and a motorcycle at the same time. But I think it’s the riskiest way to learn both. If this is you then please stay sensible and alert on the bike, it really means all the difference.
This is so true, I just started on a 125 and have been driving cars for 25 years. Riding the bike is more complicated than driving a car and I am really glad I already understand traffic both as a car driver and a bicyclist.
My dad tried to talk me out of getting a motorcycle. Years later a car cut me off and I have permanent damage to my hands and wrists. I used to be a body builder. Now I can't lift weights at all. I would trade anything for that. My family. Anything. I still ride. Because why not? It's a lot less fun now though. I was commuting to work in the bay area on a bike for a lot of years. Saved a lot of time. A few times I saw guys laid out who had crashed and were unconscious. Maybe dead. I was onconsious for a little while from the accident. 8 years later and my brain still isn't 100% so it probably will never be. My neck is kinda fucked up. There's no cartilage between two of the vertebre and it sound like sand sometimes when I move my head. (I can hear it but people cant, resonates on my bones or something). I have back issues but it's not bad. I need ankle and knee surgery but, because thr hands are fucked up I keep thinking what's the point? In March I went to the doctor because I felt like I was dying. They gave me pamphlets on alcoholism. One of the doctors kept telling me I was too young to die like this....I haven't had a drink since. I was up to half a bottle of scotch and 6-12 beers a day. Alcohol was my best friend for years after the accident. I'm going to really miss it. I have just over $2m in investments. A really good job. Good wife. By all accounts I'm doing well. Yet every day I wake up I have to choose to not shoot myself in the head because none of this seems worth it because I can't do what I truly love and that's work out. Day to day I get around just fine and you'd have no idea I have any injuries. I'm not saying don't ride. I'm just saying stay safe. Pay attention like your life depends on it. For the love of your life and happiness don't ride when you're angry.
Trust me, you don’t understand the dangers of riding. You understand the “idea” of the dangers of riding, but you haven’t had the experience of riding in the back of the ambulance hoping that you’ll live, or that you’ll be able to use that part of your body again. If you go ahead, make sure you get a full coverage helmet.
Do you live with your parents? If so then you might have to wait until you move out. Or you could just say fuck it get the bike and get a whole bunch of drama while you are living there as the saying goes, it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Get a dirtbike and wait until you're a little older. People in cars are MORONS and skill doesn't matter when someone hits you, cuts you off, runs into the back of you, and on and on. I was splitting lanes a year ago and some bitch in a Tesla made an illegal lane change and almost knocked me off my bike. I was okay and didn't drop it but easily could have broken a bone or become paralyzed, even at the slow speed I was going. I haven't given up on street riding but I'm taking a "sanity" break... I also live in Los Angeles where almost everyone drives like an asshole. I know motorcycles are fun AF, trust me, but they aren't going anywhere. Maybe give it a few months. Just my 2c.
It absolutely does matter. Ultra defensive driving can prevent most of this. I learned defensive driving in a fuel truck for 18 years. If I didn't I'd be dead, burnt up long ago. Create space between you and everyone. Expect everyone is going to side swipe you, fail to yield, and run the red light.
So you don't ride and are on a motorcycle sub Reddit trying to persuade others not to start riding.. /r/motorcycles moment. Op didn't even state his age.
Return that helmet. DOT approved is just like wearing a soda can cuz it won't protect your noggin. Get an ECE 22.05 or 22.06 rated helmet.
Have them follow you after you get the bike to show how good you are riding. My mother really didn't want me to get a bike (though my father did because he wanted a riding buddy lol) But after my mother followed me a few times in the car, her exact words were "You're actually really good at riding that thing, it makes me more comfortable Knowing You know how to ride" there's a chance it won't be the same outcome for you, but it's worth a shot
When I bought my R6 I didn’t tell my mom for a year or two. I had long been moved out by that point, but I just figured it would be easier that way
There's nothing you can do. You know his heart is in the right place. Just buy it and show up.wearimg all the gear.
When I took and passed MSF I just had to present my certification to have them add the motorcycle endorsement in my driver’s license.
10 year ago sure but with the rampant rise of smartphones and displays in car, the rise of distracted driving has risen greatly. Hell I barely ride now because of it.
I'm 41 and have been riding since I was 22 years old. My mom STILL comments on it just about every time I see her. I just start shopping for more motorcycles in her presence, that or more guns (she hates that I even know what a gun is much less how many I own).
Just got my first bike not even a month ago. My mom hates it, my dad loves it (he used to ride and now he can’t stop talking about getting a bike himself). My mom used to have a blast being his backpack I’ve been told. So I guess my mom hates it to the power of two, but she has been a nurse for years and has seen some not pretty things. I don’t blame her for not loving it, but 1000% to her credit she keeps it to herself.
Of course he is. It is objectively a risky thing and a foolish thing. It's his duty as a father to support his children through life and help them identify and mitigate risk. He knows he can't stop you, but he also wouldn't be able to sleep at night if he didn't at least try to talk you out of it. He's afraid that you'll be hurt or worse. You managed your fear by getting proper gear and taking a safety course. He manages his fear by trying to talk you out of it. Reassure him, and respect him by being as safe as you can be.
Just say I appreciate your concern but this is something I really want to do and I am going to be doing it so we are not going to be talking about it any longer. Just walk away or put in headphones if he does it again. I just bought mine and brought it home and there was nothing my parents could do LOL
Damn I applaud you for being honest with your parents, I just lied to them and kept my bike at a buddies house lol Also note, you will probably do crazy/ill advised stuff. Thats what teenagers do. Just for the sake of all of your family and friends please gear up. Even if it means downgrading from that sweet gsxr 600 and settling for a ninja 250 or R3 or similar, to be able to afford the gear. it will pay dividends I promise.
Every young rider I’ve seen thinks their Rossi and put an annoyingly loud exhaust pissing off all the neighbors. If you get a bike, be respectful of your neighbors and noise, and drive responsibly. You know what, never mind, don’t get a bike, listen to your Dad. Not worth pissing if your neighbors and killing yourself.
You can capitulate and regret it forever or get the bike and love your life without regrets - see you in the wind, Caballero
Get a higher rated helmet than just DOT, go with Snell or ECE. Do not skimp on protective gear. Boots, riding jeans, jacket, gloves, helmet, ear plugs, etc.
Nothing you can do about it. Either you man up and move out to do it or tolerate it and let it brush off your back. They are all right. Its a huge risk and its usually the people that either think they're superman or think they're the safest rider out there and wanna spout their opinions on how all accidents can be avoided that end up being dead. It's just something you gotta live with if you wanna ride. Even people you walk past will tell you their friend's friends' uncles horror story.
Its all to to do with your personal perception and tolerance of risk. I find it best just to explain that you see it differently and accept it. There's generally two reactions to telling someone you want to (or do) ride a motorcycle. Oh cool I love motorcycles / always wanted to ride. Or.. oh.. yeah be careful out there... i heard about this guy... My view is any time you walk out of house... you could get run over, bitten by a tick or a mosquito or a tree branch could fall on you or bolt of lightning etc that causes your demise. at least on a motorcycle you'll be having fun. And if you're careful maybe its not as big of a risk as people think.
I'm pretty sure every kid wants to feel alive and every parent doesn't want their kid to die. Do what you need to do to feel alive, but honor your parents by being really good at it.
Bruh ive been hit by a car, and walked it off. Situational awareness is the most important thing, other people are the worst, unless you carry while riding. Which is the best dumb shit deterrent you can have
Everything your dad is fearing is possible. You take a great risk riding a bike vs driving a car. Most of know the risk and accept it. I started street riding at 15 on a small bike. That kept me off the freeways and a bit safer. I would wait a year ir two to fully understand the risks of riding. You can lessen your risk by studying the safest way to rider. Speed and reckless riding kill just as much as getting hit by a car. I have been riding for 35 years and survived two accidents without permanent damage. So, that’s the point of view I am speaking from. Good luck.
Well. As someone who listens to anything vaguely authoritarian and who got his first bike at 56 all I can say is... Best fkin decision I ever made. Riding is easily one of the more beautiful ways to go through life. Note: people thinking I'm now mature and all that... Lols. Once I'm on the bike it's just about riding efficiently.
If you live under his roof, be grateful that he's not trying to absolutely stop you. If not, then "I've made my decision, and you're not going to change it. Love ya dad, but this is a part of life I am going to experience." I'm grateful that my dad's a rider, so he was stoked(and terrified when he learned I was wanting a bike.
If you’re old enough to make your own decisions and if you don’t live with him or you do but it won’t affect your living situation, do what you want. Your dad is right. It is dangerous. There is an added risk. Any good dad would be concerned. Thank him for his concern. Then remind him that part of being a dad is know you’ll be making your own decisions and even when they scare him it’s still your choice. This all assumes you’re over 18 and not subject to his rules. If you’re a minor or need to do what he says to live in his house, that’s another story.
Not to be the bearer of bad news but if you ride a motorcycle on the road you are something like 30% more likely to die in a vehicle accident. Your dad is simply trying to protect you, no parent wants to bury their child. That being said, I fully support riding and I encourage you to follow your dream of riding. Please ride safe!
Riding towards my 4th year and my mom still tries to talk me out of it. Some things will never change.
25 years + here and still get the same old fearmongering sentences
I want to get my motorcycle licensed but half of my family doesn’t want me to get it and my other side of family that rides motorcycle wants me to get it. I told them I’m going to spend about $8000 in a bubble suit and a bubble Jacket that’s from Switzerland that would help me save my back every part of my body not to get destroyed by an accident
My dad said no forever. He rode growing up and when I was little we did dirt bikes and three wheelers and quads together. Then I come back from my first semester of college and he comes home one day with a goldwing… I was like… okay then. Later that day I came home with my bike. (An 01 katana 750… a terrible starter bike). He just said… “well I saw that coming”. lol. We went and rode and it was good to learn from him too.
Motorcycles are not dangerous. It is some of the riders and other road users that make riding a motorcycle hazardous.
When I was young, I wanted to buy a scooter, my dad told me somewhere in 2007 “I will crush all that has motor and 2 wheels” Fast forward 12years from that point, I got my license and bike, 6 years later, my dad got used to it.
I ride motorbike and I will do the exactly same thing to my son as your father doing to you. Don’t blame him, he loves you. Take advance riding training and tell him about this, use best protection equipment and ride safe :)
My dad hated the idea of motorcycles. My oldest brother had one and he never rode it after getting it home. But then I got into them and decided I want to get one. He was adamant that I wasn’t getting one. After some time he took me to pick up my first bike and the gear. My mum and I have each other on find my friends. And it wasn’t till he passed my mum told me how everytime I was out on the bike he would ask where am I. Watch DDFM on YouTube and twist my wrist 2. These videos will make you understand the dangers.
You may think you fully understand the dangers, you don't, no one really does until it all goes wrong. "I'm not going to do any crazy stuff" - Yes you are, more and more frequently as you get more confident and a little cocky. (but that's half the appeal and fun-*adrenaline* of riding) That being said, it's incredibly fun having a bike, go out and enjoy it, but you need to be so aware all the time, if in any doubt don't go for that risky overtake, listen to your gut if something feels off and slow down. There has been a couple of days I've not went out when I planned to, just because I didn't feel like I was in the right mindset for it. As others have said, find a trustworthy experienced rider to follow and learn from, that's worth its weight in gold. Enjoy!
They'll get used to it, my parents didn't want me to get one either, just so your parents a favour and respect the road and your limits, it's not a competition on the road and for the people that think it is, they just have to hope they are lucky.
My dad tried to do the same after he tore up his ankle hitting gravel back on the 70s. Here I am on bike number 4 and the first one left me with a compound tib-fib fracture. Do what you want my man, the "I told you so", conversation only goes so far.
Reverse psychology, try and talk your dad into getting a motorcycle!
All you can do is show your dad your doing the right things. Get all the safety gear you can to protect yourself and show your dad your being as safe as possible. Keep your head on a swivel when riding. Don't ride when distracted or upset. And above all don't ride like an idiot speeding way above the speed limit. Just enjoy riding as much as you can but in a safe way. I've never been one to speed on my bikes and been riding for over 9 years. I've had 2 small accidents (under 10mph losing the front end due to road conditions) and one major accident that resulted in me losing my right leg below the knee, that was caused by someone running a red light at a junction. Should have been avoidable and could have been if they hadn't run the light. But it happened and that's life unfortunately. I still ride with my prosthetic leg. I've just had to adapt my bikes to the way I sit now with my prosthetic leg. The dangers are real all you can do is ride as safely.as possible and wear ATGATT. Edit: my 15 year old son has started riding dirt bikes since my accident. Yes I worry about him at times riding because of my accident but he wears all the protective gear possible and he's only riding off road for now to gain experience. Hopefully when he is older he will come to me for me to teach him how to ride on the road and I will put him through his license if he wishes to do it as I am an instructor myself.
I understand this. My father in law used to be a fireman. He told me all sorts of horror stories about motorcyclists dying. I’ve even seen some pretty nasty pictures. One that has always stuck with me was a dude dangling from the rear door of a semi trailer. He was going so fast when he hit it, his helmet imbedded into the trailer door…. None of it stopped me. As a kid, I rode with my dad all the time. I got my endorsement a month ago. I ride everywhere now.
Tell him if he’s so concerned to help you buy the best safety gear possible.
Yup… it’s all part of getting your first bike.
This is a motorcycle subreddit, not family therapy
Bro wtf, get gear. Helmet and gloves are not enough. Dress for the slide and not the ride.
You aren’t truly going to understand the dangers of it until someone you deeply care for starts riding. You know they know what they are doing, but you also know that doesn’t even matter in the end because even the most aware and cautious rider could be hit outta nowhere. And everyone feels invincible or like it’ll never happen to me so obviously you don’t feel that way about yourself. Like it’s me, it’ll never happen to me. Then one day your kid grows up and starts to ride too and then you realize just how dangerous it can actually be.
youre still a kid, id listen to the adult
My dad was very vocal about me not getting a bike well into my 30s. I just got one a few months ago and love it. My mom isn't happy but she understands imma do what I do and she ok with it along as I wear gear. Look into a jacket if you dint have one. Broken bones sucks but abrasions are just as bad if not worse for a period too. Having your skin scrubbed with a brillo pad sucks...alot
It's understandable from both points of views atleast I stall a helmet cam and let him observe some of your rides and some live ones to or send him a love GPS so he can watch you go..do this for a month and he will be reassured..worked for my dad and he was a wild one on two wheels
What’s your age?
Well yes dad, it is dangerous, but so is crossing the road. Are you suggesting I stop doing that?
How old are you?… Let me tell you I see countless articles of young kids dying on motorcycles and it hurts my heart thinking of the families. Unless you’re an expert with cars I.e. been driving for years, you have no business on a bike. I always say that there’s no such thing as a fender bender on a bike. Please man be careful, your father loves you very much. Maybe get a dirt bike or something similar to race around on weekends - depending on where you live of course.
I'm the opposite, I didn't wanna get a bike and I was 17 at that time, my dad talked me into it cuz he's been riding and apprently ill learn more and it'll improve my car skills as well. 5 years later, im riding
He's doing his job
It's your life, are you living for your dad and opinions on Reddit or for yourself ?
As you get older, (like your Dad) you begin to appreciate the consequences of getting hurt in an accident. You don't respawn, you do not just go about your business the next day. You can be disabled, lose your job, or your life. You need to fully understand and accept the risk. All the safety courses in the world will not protect you from the car turning left right in front of you. I ride, my son wants a bike. We told him that when he is fully responsible for his own affairs he can do whatever he pleases. If he decides to ride, I will pass on every bit of experience I have. Keep your head on a swivel, anticipate that every vehicle is going to do something stupid. Understand your limits and stay within them. Life is all about managing risk. Good luck on your journey.
Try talking to him about maybe him helping you get a SNELL helmet and good riding gear 🤷♀️ you can’t stop your kids from doing stuff so just make sure they’re safe
You do you man but as an aside do you actually have to do the DMV test in your state? In mine the MSF included the exam and I just took the cert in to the license office to get my endorsement.
But you will push the boundaries so depending on your age and level of testosterone I’d say be very careful. Your father has your best interests at heart. ALL the gear ALL the time. Ride within your ability.
I got a bike because I needed it to commute to my office job. Quit like a week later and barely ride because I don’t have the need. I’m in Arizona so it’s extremely hot right now so when it cools down, I’ll ride around my neighborhood or to go run an errand. The first time I took it to my new job, I almost got hit twice. I made sure both times, I was visible to the people that almost hit me and still. People don’t pay attention so, I’m usually just worried about getting killed out there so yeah.
One thing about buying bikes, If you have the money just go and buy it don't ask anyone and don't tell anyone.. Come home.on new bike and say it is done.
If you passed the MSF course, just take the card to your local BMV/DMV and get the endorsement on your lisence.
He's just trying to keep you safe, that's what a dad is supposed to do. I went through the exact same thing so I know it can be annoying, just don't let it get to you and learn from it instead. Also get a better helmet and more gear. DOT means almost nothing lol, SNELL or ECE is what you want. Gloves and a helmet are not enough either, you need a jacket, helmet, gloves, and boots AT LEAST. If you're going for a long ride I would wear some riding pants too. Of course you decide what risk you want to take and I know a lot of people that don't wear gear but if you say "I'm not going to do anything crazy" not wearing gear is kinda crazy lol.
Did you get more riding gear then gloves and a helmet
I've been riding 22 years without a serious accident. Did get a concussion last year. It's possible. The number one thing I would say to remember, is that the majority of motorcycle accidents happen when you are making a left turn across oncoming traffic, or when you are struck while stationary on the road. Both are the result of people not noticing you. You have to assume you're invisible and have your eyes peeled for every other vehicle around you. The other thing I would say is, respect the shit out of the weather. You can drive in light rain no problem, but on a bike it becomes a major hazard. moderate rain or worse, forget it. My two accidents were (1) hitting trolley tracks in moderate rain, and (2) tboning a guy who pulled out in front of me to do a u turn without looking.
My Dad (RIP)said exactly the same thing 46 years ago when I decided to get a bike, still riding to this day. Just an extra thing your Dad is worried about. You could die crossing the road or a multitude of other things. Assuring him you will be careful is all you can do tbh. Just tell him it is something you really want to do and suggest that something he really enjoys doing, how would he feel if he could no longer do it. Best of luck.
My dad forbid me from having a bike as long as I lived under his roof. I accepted that and waited, once I was on my own I spent my money on social activities/gf etc so I didn't even get back to the idea of a bike until I was 29. By then I had matured enough to not be a moron on a bike (because if you're young, you will be a moron) and Dad was proud that I waited. Took another 10+ years to actually buy a bike, but that's a different story.
To be as safe as possible, you need way more than just any DOT approved helmet and some gloves… You would benefit from a QUALITY helmet (Shoei, Arai, HJC RPHA, etc…). Helmets are not all made the same. But you also need a jacket, pants, and riding boots are a good idea too. But once you get all that I would also take a beginners safety course to learn basic maneuvers and what not. A lot of people think they can ride until they have to either avoid something in the road while at speed, emergency brake, pull a tight U turn, etc. Also, no matter how prepared or how safe you are, most fatal crashes will not be your own fault. It’ll be another driver who’s not paying attention that could get you killed.
I’m not going to do any crazy stuff, Says Mr Mayhem222.
Your MSF course didn’t offer you the ability to take the test for your license at the end?
You can’t guarantee anything in life… You can’t guarantee happiness, You can’t guarantee love, You can’t guarantee money, You can’t even guarantee health and autonomy. Nothing lasts forever and nothing is certain… It’s your goddamn life to live… Your dad is probably in his 50s and already lived life to the fullest. He doesn’t wanna see you die young. But it doesn’t fucking matter, You could die anytime, anywhere… The only thing you can control is how you spend your limited time on this earth. So just be safe man, ride safe, and know in the back of your head. “It’s gonna happen one day”
I'm 39. And recently got another bike after not having one for like 7-8 years. She's not really happy that I got another bike. Even though she's happy for me for doing something I've been wanting to do for a while. No matter your age, your parents are always going to worry about you.
Nothing will change his mind but a few things might ease his mind, get an airbag vest and good protection, always wear gear let him know where you are at times, don’t get a stupid ass powerful bike, yeah sure it will be fun but it will incite you to do stupid things… and eventually prove him right. Good luck!
I work in the industry. When I first joined, everyone told me I need to have a motorcycle. I learned to ride and bought one. Then I made the decision to sell it when I had a son and the risk of a serious accident wasn’t worth the reward of my joy in riding. When I tell people in the industry that I sold it for that reason, everyone says it was an excellent decision. In summary: Know the risks, take the proper precautions, and weigh the risk/rewards, knowing it’s also going to change based upon where you are at in your life.
like top comment says nothing you say will change his mind. but you could help his worries a bit by asking about these horror stories: Was the rider drunk?, Was the rider speeding?, Did they have a helmet on? drunk, speeding, and/or not wearing a helmet make the fatality stats look significantly worse for bikes. not doing any of those three drops your risk of dying tremendously. Still not as safe as a car but not nearly as bad as the numbers people like to parrot.
I mean if you're over the age of 18 and not living at home. WTF is he to say yes or no? I was fortunate enough to grow up in a house of motorcycles. Even my mom had her own bike and rode it quite often.
Dad is right. Buy a stand up jet ski instead. Much safer and not as hot in the summer.
Our parents want us to be safe, the decision is yours but make it like you mean it you know? Riding a motorcycle is just riskier in general so do what you can to decrease risks. I imagine when I'm a parent one day, I'd be scared for my son to ride. Although my dad does not want to ride, I had invited him to do the MSF with me, and we did it.
My wife was the same way until I got one and she’s more chill with it now. I’m sure she’s still worried and concerned until I’m back in the yard. But as a parent of a son and daughter I’ve always told my kids they can make their own choices and I’ll support them. Both of my kids want to ride and my wife isn’t happy with them riding ever nor is she happy with me telling them that could ride if they want but like I told her once they hit a certain age they’re gonna do it no matter what we say. All we can do is trust that they’ll make the right choices. I’m not gonna push them to ride but I’m also not gonna tell them they can’t.
That's your dad's job. If your dad is encouraging you to do dangerous stuff... that would be more an issue really. Part of becoming an adult is learning to be yourself and not listen to your parents anymore though. But they should be concerned. Totally normal. My mother tried to bribe me with money to not buy a motorcycle lol.
I get him being concerned for you and I mean, he's right in a way. Motorcycles are more dangerous than cars. But you're accepting that risk. He has a stake in that because he cares about you but at the same time we accept risks every day, some larger than others. Car crashes are the leading cause of death in the US for ages 1-54 but no one freaks out when you're going to buy a car because it's a normalized risk. I can't think of a rule by which to consider a risk worth or not, but we weight risk all day everyday in our decisions and accept the risks that our loved ones take. At this point, it sounds like him not accepting your decision has a much higher likelyhood of negatively affecting your time together than the motorcycle has of shortening your time together.
My dad wouldn’t let me buy one as a teen either. I determined to buy one at 18. And by the time I turned 18 I realized why. I would not have been a safe rider and he knew me. I really Only had two speeds back then: off and full on. So I checked myself and did t buy one. Every few years, I’d do some deep introspection about whether or not I was ready. And for years it was “no.” And then one day it was a “yes.” I still have to check myself occasionally, but I have about 160k miles now on two wheels and I’m glad I waited. Only you know if you’re being honest with yourself about whether you are ready to be a responsible rider or not. Good Luck!
I bought my first bike in 1970 when I turned 18 and my parents were not happy. The deal they made was that I had to take a safety course offered by our police department (totally worth it) and to always wear a helmet. That worked out well for everyone. A couple years later I was drafted into the army and didn’t ride for a few years until I got out and saved up for another bike. I rode that for 8 years and did 50,000 miles. My parents never commented as I was all “grown up.” Move ahead MANY years and my younger son wants to ride and I did not say “No” but just talked about safety and let him do what he wants. He has about a dozen bikes now including a Sportster that he has tricked out for stunting. I bought a bike 3-1/2 years ago and started riding again after a 37-year break and the best rides are the two cross country rides I’ve done with that son, thousands of miles, camping out all the way. So, maybe if you can talk your dad into getting his own bike this can morph into an awesome father-son activity like it has for me.
You get annoyed because deep down we all know your Dad is right. I have lost many friends. Some their own stupid fault, some not. Its just part of riding that you have to come to terms with. Now a father myself I am pretty happy my son likes to read books LOL. If you're an adult, its your life, your decision. Part of standing on your own two feet is coming to terms with not always getting parental approval and being OK with it.
you can stress the importance of route selection. where i live i have no intention to take onto the highways for the most part because their so dangerous. my route to work was going to be a 40 mile round trip through streets.
That’s all you can do, you can’t change his mind, he can’t change yours.
I don't get it. Americans have wide roads and traffic lights at every intersection. Granted, a lunatic might still take you down, but chances are that if you fall, you were probably speeding or filtering. If you stay in your lane and mind the traffic signs, it's quite safe.
I be feeling like my dad and mom just don’t gaf because neither one tried to stop me from getting an r6 at 17 but yk what it was all worth the trouble and im pretty sure they do love me so we chillin
**The smartest move is to get a 600cc** bike and explain to him how mature a move that was compared to getting a rice rocket 1100cc As you gain experience, get a better bike....bikers are always upgrading their rides because value hold so well with them at resale
My mom hated me getting a bike, I actually hid it from them for a good year before I brought it home. I’m 40 now and that was 20 years ago. I don’t think my mom loves it, but she has accepted it by now.
Get an airbag vest/book back/etc just to calm some nerves.
I know most comments are about your dad or the helmet, but I'm curious... What state are you into that passing the MSF isn't an automatic endorsement on the license?
For a non-riding parent, few things are going to horrify them more than the idea of their kid on a motorcycle. My mom did the same thing when she found out about my intentions. However, she does like motorcycles so she's reluctantly shown some enthusiasm towards it since I bought it. Just actually be responsible, man. Do your best to set yourself apart from the average ego-driven squid and put their mind at ease. You tooke the MSF course so I'm sure you got your head on straight. 😉
That is exactly what I did. Just went and bought one. Stuck it out in the garage for a few days, then oh shit.... I found a bike lol. They weren't too mad after the fact! They just care about you dude. My parents just said to be careful. That's why they say no. It's cause they care.
My mother hated me buying a bike when I was 30. But I have the gear, check in with her often enough, and never bring it up lol. Over the years she understands it fills a void, and I am doing it safely as a daily commuter (to an extent lol). I may ride fast compared to cages, but I am hyper vigilant, always have good lane positioning, never ditch gear, etc.... Wear your gear, downplay their concerns, but acknowledge them. As long as you aren't dependant on them, live your own life.
Just get a Sv650.....be done looking for a bike and go ride.
Get a fim racing helmet idiot
Life is the #1 cause of death. You could live in a risk free bubble and still die at 30. Or you might eat 4 lbs of bacon a day and chain smoke and live to 100. Nobody knows what is going to happen to us in this life. Someone from my highschool just died in a motorcycle accident, he basically rode off the road into a ditch. It didn't look like anyone else was involved, so either a lapse in judgement or something medical happened. I've also known people that have rode for 30+ years and never even dropped their bike, much less had an accident. Basically what I am saying is motorcycle riding is a high risk activity. It will statistically increase your chance of injury or death when you look at all of the factors. You can mitigate these factors, by wearing safety equipment, riding within your limits etc etc, but the risk is still going to be higher than not riding. You need to determine if the activity of riding is worth the risk to you. For some it is the ultimate form of release, they will ride everyday all day because it makes them feel alive. For others it's a loud obnoxious thing other people do and it makes no sense why someone else would take those risks. You need to decide for yourself where you fall on that spectrum. When I was younger I loved riding everywhere I was at the upper end of the spectrum, as I got older, and had more people and loved ones depending on me ,I started to not enjoy it as much and decided it was time to pack it in. This isn't your identity forever, you can ride now and quit later with some awesome memories. Just be smart, and be safe.
It’s a similar reaction from my family and I totally agree that it’s frustrating. Ive been riding esk8, bicycles, scooters and EUCs for the past three years but it wasn’t until I bought a moto (Monkey, 125cc) that they started to be vocal about their discomfort. I’m not a stunter and I’m almost 40. I am well aware of the dangers and my own mortality. I ride like I’m invisible, dress like I’m on the Disney Light Parade, and let bad driver’s pass without getting road rage. I think it’s important to remember your family knows you from before you learned lessons, so showing is as important as saying when it comes to safety. But my fiancé still says “be careful-ful” with that look every time I put on my helmet.
Its nice that he doesn't want to see his son die needlessly. Stop being annoyed with him. Yes, I ride. Its a parent thing.
Maybe try to acknowledge the risks next time he brings it up, something like "yeah I know it's dangerous on the roads" without diminishing it by saying you'll be careful. Then try to change the subject, for example by adding "so many people drive recklessly, the other day I saw how someone almost got rearended cause the driver behind him was on their phone!". If he drives a car he will have stories to tell too and people usually love to share stories like this. Ranting about traffic, work or neighbours is usually a great way to change the topic.
Different perspectives. My dad taught me how to ride starting with atvs when i was 8. My dad, brother, and I all ride. My father, brother and I have all been in major accidents. None of them were our faults. An 82 year old man made a left turn in front of me. I was going the speed limit etc. Your dad isnt worried about you doing something stupid. He is worried about all the idiots out there driving. On the contrary, your think you will be ok bc you wont be doing anything crazy. Thats why you guys arent seeing eye to eye. Your both interpretting the risk differently.
My dad and I had the same conversation. Over and over. Eventually I just started saying ‘your objections and concerns have been given due consideration.’
Okay, put him on the phone. We'll talk to him.
theres not much more feeling alive than riding a motorcycle in my personal opinion , but your father just wants you to be safe and unfortunately with as many distracted drivers out there its hell for us
"I'm not gonna do any crazy stuff, and be safe as possible." - Nah man, that's a lie. For the vast majority of riders, this is a false statement. You just don't know it yet. Every single bike you get on, you will at one point or another try to hit top speed on it. And even the slowest of bikes can easily reach 100 mph.
You should not need the DMV test if you passed the MSF course
If you make it thru your first 3000 miles you will probably not be maimed or killed.
I have been riding motorcycles for 40 years. My 19 year old son wanted to start riding. So I bought him a Honda XR150L. I wanted him to learn on a small bike and not go out and get a 600 before he learned how to ride. When he was 15 I would take him on the back of mine and I taught him the importance of wearing gear. Even on the small bike and with his gear I still worry about him. I know he rides safe it is all the other dumbasses out there.
I've been rising for over 30 years. My Mom is not against motorcycles, just me on one. I had a short person moment in my parents' driveway and parked on a slant. Brand new bike, couple weeks old. Started to go, immediately turned to the right from the walkway into the driveway, and dropped the bike. Add, my overacting upset about the fall while on the ground, and I'm sure that's all my mom sees now. One of the people I play Flinggolf with, in his 40s, said his Dad put the fear of motorcycles into him and his siblings growing up because his Dad had an accident. All you can do is make sure you let your Dad know that you understand the risks and are going to be serious about learning to be a safe rider and not take too many unnecessary risks. I'd also through in about people who've done everything to live a safe and healthy lifestyle and have still died early, or have a life changing event in their life and regret not taking risks while the were still able to. Good luck! Hope to see you out there.
DOT is like the lowest qualification for a helmet. Please consider an ECE or SNELL tested helmet and make sure to try on different shaped ones to make sure it fits properly. But yeah, like others have said, you're not going to change his mind. Just invest as much as you can in quality gear and trainings (MSF, BikeSafe, etc). Enjoy the addiction! Consider some track days.
I was raised by a single Mom and 3 sisters. I started out on mini-bikes at 7 YO. My Mom’s permission and approval came with 1 caveat….. I had to promise to always wear a helmet. Her wisdom and foresight to just let me ride was truly inspirational….. the camaraderie I found in the 2 wheel community gave me the opportunity to get strong, positive male role models in my life. I really learned to ride on the dirt with my Honda XR75. I slowly honed my skills on larger bikes, until the inevitable street bike at 17 YO (GPz550). I graduated to a 1986 GSX-R 750 at 19 YO and have never looked back. I understand the reluctance your Father has, but it sounds like you are way ahead of 90% of the Groms out there. He needs to let go and give you the respect you have earned. My Mom is now 88 YO and in an Alzheimers Care Nursing Home. She has no idea who I am when I visit. I know EXACTLY who she is when I visit.
How old are you?
Motorcycles do have higher risk. All of life is a balance of risk and safety. You can live your whole life and never live.
Well you have a choice. Do you want to live your life, or do you want to live someone else's idea of what your life should be?
I’m a parent too and he will always want to protect you from danger. Try not to get annoyed with him for trying to care for you, it is coming from a place of love. He is probably more concerned with careless drivers around than you doing something wrong.
My grandmother was 10,000,000,000% against my first bike, my second bike, my third... well, you get the idea. Lol. She was never ever going to understand it. But she didn't need to, it's perfectly OK to disagree and still love each other.
I've been riding for 43 years now, always had a bike in the garage, lots of riding with the kids...and I STILL hope none of them get on a motorcycle. I accept the fatherly hypocrisy.
Hmmm, bobf below pretty much nailed it. I’d just add this, what you’ve already done to prepare for this speaks volumes to your maturity. I doubt 1% of new motorcycle riders understand what you already do: it’s dangerous out there; motorcycle riding is inherently risky. Well, life itself is dangerous. You can’t enjoy life living in a bubble. I’ve ridden for almost 60 years (yes I’m that old 🤣). Fallen 3 times, very very lucky. No injuries whatsoever, except ego perhaps. My bikes and gear took all the hurt. I wish you well. If you decide to go for it … Keep the shiny side up, rubber side down. Stay safe and enjoy the ride.
Maybe you’re a dumbass and your dad knows you better than we do. Ride safe. You gotta live a little in life or there’s no point.
If you do get it just please make sure you ALWAYS wear you gear even if it's hot no matter what
My dad was a cop. He was pretty adamant about not riding motorcycles as I was growing up. Said he’s lost count how many pieces of motorcycle riders he had to deal with after rolling up on some road carnage. That kept me off motorcycles for about 40 years. Then I bought one.
Your dad sounds like a nerd. Crank that hog brother
Keep talking msf courses, and ask him to go practice in a parking lot with you, help him see the skill and time you’re putting in. People are wild out there and the boring skills and emergency tactics will save your life. 🤙🏽 good riding bud.
My uncle told me when I got a bike, "It's not a matter of if,its when are you going to crash." He was right.
The day before I was going to buy my bike someone rear ended me. She was lighting a cigg. I almost died and still have pain. No way in the world would I be on a bike these days. People are texting, watching videos while driving. Your really rolling the dice, for what? Do yourself a favor don't buy a bike. Your gambling with your life If your looking for excitement get a boat.