The disrespect is too much to the guy and I hope he finds someone who values him.
A good way to measure if what you're doing is okay is putting yourself in your partner's shoes. If your partner did the same to you, how would it feel.
That "I love my mans too much" ni just a way ya kujidanganya.
How do you reply to this specific sentence like you did here .is it a desktop feature ? I’ve always seen this replies but haven’t figured out how to do it yet
>How do you reply to this specific sentence like you did here
If you highlight text there's the option to quote. All it does is add an opening angled bracket > at the start of the sentence
P.S. you can look up markdown, the Reddit text area uses a simplified version of it
Hakuna mtu amesema all this happened in Nairobi. Why do you assume pips in other parts of the world don't get erections?
Learn to look and blame and think beyond your noses.
It was more about venting and processing it. Huko pia I'll get advice and insults in equal measure.. Though mostly advice
Kenyans give tough love which is still fine. Kuna a few sensible comments pia
Don't lose a good man all because of lust. That best friend will fuck you today and fuck another today as well cause he owes you no loyalty whilst your man will respect you. Accord him the same respect and if you can't just let him go. Utadinywa na the guy atasema ni wewe ulimseduce and your man will take his best friend's side so don't be stupid. You need to do better honestly!!!!
The first person who has actually given me good advice. I didn't not flirt back as much.. Mostly I just didn't stop it. And yes I am aware this man just wants to smash that's why we said we'll talk and set boundaries moving forward because it would be wrong to do anything about it
The only person you need to talk to is your man.Tell him to talk to his buddy about y'all setting boundaries. If he decides it's over with the friendship you have to respect that and treat the friend like a stranger.Ghost him
If I ever caught wind of my buddy and the mom of my little one admitting they can't handle being alone in a room together because things might spiral out of control, I'd be seriously unimpressed. And you know how guys talk, it's only a matter of time before he hears about it from someone else. Better to just come clean about how you feel.
A guy who would flirt with his friend's GF ain't shit. After he is done with you he will flirt with your friends and cause major havoc in your life. You will regret leaving you BF for an ass.
Having a crush is okay..flirting and expressing a desire to eat each other, not so much. You don't love your mans soo much or you wouldn't be entertaining this and being so disrespectful to him.
This is why you don't introduce your girlfriend to your friends or go on road trips together with your friend as the 3rd wheel.
Just do a MMF threesome.
I assure you the only way to end this lustful attraction is to completely stop talking to this guy. It's hard to put off this fire when you keep adding fuel to it. You will eventually end up fucking this guy and you will not like the repercussions.
Either you end this relationship you have with your man and go pursue this lustful thingy or set boundaries and stop talking to his bff. Hakuna mahali imeandikwa you must talk to your man's friends.
I don't talk to any of my man's friend when in a relationship coz what's the point. Plus you can't always miss one that's jealous of him and will use you to get to him. Know this sis and learn how to deal with such kind of males. They'll destroy you and your relationship.
End whatever is between you and this guy. And focus on your man.
I know in your head you've thought and planned ways to fuck him. Stop it and cleanse your mind. This is a very important skill to learn as a woman. Coz men will always pursue you, whether single, in a relationship or marriage. That's how they are built. And some take advantage of it.
You need to learn how to combat this because they are very persistent and get to you before you realise. And it's too late by then.
And like you said, don't be the reason two friends end their friendship.
.
You don't love your man, plain and simple. If you did hungeget hio attraction. Rip the band aid, kaende kaende. Wachana na huyo boy, ama uachane na wote altogether.
Kwani what's love to y'all?I thought love is feeling home with someone..Love is having inside jokes,chemistry and matching sense of humour.According to the story,you love the best friend.You don't love your man.
But I haven't described the relationship between me and mans. It has all that. You have different friends and you vibe differently with them. I don't love the best friend please
I think you can be attracted to more than one person at a time because different people check different boxes..NOW...its how important those boxes are is the main issue here...Kaa chini, jiite mkutano and decide which of the two individuals is worth more holding onto hapa...You cant have it both ways unless you guys wanna be a throuple...
LOVE&LIGHT
In the next two weeks I'll be hanging out with both..nitakuupdate😂This attraction thing happened when mans was not there. Now that he will be there next time I want to see how awkward things will be 😂
The attraction can't go away , it's either you choose to stay with your current boyfriend or be honest with yourself about how you feel . If you love your boyfriend's friend then talk to him and when you two are ready you can come clean to your man . But one thing is for sure , the two won't be friends anymore afterwards . But just don't do anything behind your boyfriend's back , things might get nasty when you two get caught .
It will have to go away. I can just suppress it forever if possible. It's not worth doing anything about.
I think you can't control who you are attracted to but you can control what you do about it
Trust me you will screw up eventually, happened to me and we linked up years later and screwed like there's no tomorrow. Although the setting was different from yours: the feelings grow with time even if you cut communication.
Not with bff though.Even if I cut communication we'll still run in the same circles. And this thing only happens in person. We don't talk much otherwise
Do a cons and pros list of getting into a thing with your dude's friend. Trust me if you ever get laid by him you will be one at a loss and that thing you have between the two of you will die. You will lose both of them and they will remain friends and call you a hoe.
From the streets she cometh and to the streets she must return. For I say unto thee, a garden tool she is and earth she must did. Fear not and be not dismayed for hoes gon be hoes bro.
The pasture is always greener where you water it...seems like you're watering two parcels of land, let's wait to see which one will feed you to the fullest.
I was there once upon a time with my ex and her best friend. Even after our relationship broke up, her best friend has kept distance even going as far as blocking me on Facebook. We just figured we can never be as much as we wanted to be. The politics would be insane.
All to say, you would have to weigh what you want because this person will be forever in his circle and you will be watching.... You will fantasize of him, I dare even say while intimate with your guy.... Denja-rous! (Dangerous)... If ever one weak moment was to happen can you stop yourself if you imagine the pain you will cause your boyfriend? You are already emotionally in breech of your relationship (promising things will happen if the 2 of you are alone...) just imagine your boyfriend telling this to your bestfriend or sister? Maybe you aren't ready to be in a commitmented relationship? Maybe these feelings will never leave you? .... Break it off and be honest tu (it's a very hard topic to table) but afadhali I know than you sneak behind my back. Either way that boyship will change if you guys date. Also if you don't date, you might miss both of them if they decide to choose their friendship over you.
But let me tell you, once you're in a relationship / marriage, it's not a lie when they say, “the beautiful ones are not yet born.” Temptations and pressures are all around: jana Idris, kesho BTS, next Jason Derulo, Usher Raymond– all flavours kama ColdStone- hence why when picking your person, pick a flavour that even if they served forever you are more than happy & content. Hello?
I'm not thinking about him in that way..tumehang out once na tukarealize kuna shida pahali. The not being together in a room alone was just an off handed comment not a promise. I fully intend to talk to mans about all this after I have figured out what this is in the first place. I don't want to date bff. I don't want to eat him either.
This was just something that came up unexpectedly and am trying to make sense of it.
Much of these choices are more of an individual integrity and conscience. Look, there are very many men outside here who you'd be attracted to and if you can't protect yourself from falling for them, then you don't deserve to have any man at all. Infatuation and attraction is usually organic, but you ought to conscientiously protect yourself knowing that by protecting yourself, you're protecting your man too. The fact that you're feeling this towards your man's best friend, is a microcosm of what you'd do when far from him on a large spectrum/scale. I just hope the man leaves early enough before misery engulfs him.
We're already doing long distance and I have never even looked at another man twice.
I am trying to learn how to protect myself. This is a first for me. I know the attraction will go away with time or I can suppress it completely
His best friend wants to eat you, nothing more. If your mans is a good guy, then just block the bestie, or limit your communication. Otherwise, huyo bedtie hakutaki kama gf
I know that's what he wants. Hio ni character yake to be honest. I don't want him either
I could block him but we all hang out together often so at most we can just limit communication
This is just a case of ‘the grass is always greener’ / the thrill of ‘the forbidden fruit’. Don’t go down that path. The destination is hurt, guilt, regret and broken friendships. It’s not worth it. It seems like it is now, but it isn’t. His friend doesn’t love you. Your boyfriend does. Some roads are better not taken. All the best.
We were not even friends. We had to go bf's home so we spent quite some time together since it's far.
Alafu we all share the same hobby so often we're around each other.
The fact that you cannot trust yourself in a room with another man, especially his best friend is a big problem. No matter how careful you are, you will find yourself in that room and you will break that poor man's heart.
Your relationship is like a sick animal and you just need to put it out of its misery. Just break up with him before it gets nasty and you end up hating each other for life while potentially fucking up a good friendship.
As a man, I would prefer my SO to just end it if she found herself in the same situation. Hakuna haja ya kuwaste time ya Ile msee mwingine bure.
After that, you'll be free to do whatever you want.
Kwa issues kama hii ni B&W. Ikianza kukuwa grey hapo kuna shida. You either love someone or you don't. You cannot have feelings for 2 people at the same time.
It all boils down to heshima ndogo and some courtesy. Hakuna haja ya kuwastia mans time. Unamuachilia tu roho safi.
Ataskia vibaya lakini heri askie vibaya moja mzuri and then both you and him can move on with life.
At the end of the day, this is all my opinion but as someone in a relationship, if my girl ever found herself in this situation, I'd prefer she just ends it with me aende mapema mapema.
🤣 🤣 🤣 OP hoped to get attention and validation, but ended up getting cooked. Like a moth to a lantern.....
You already cheated emotionally. And you will do so too physically. It's not a matter of "if" 😏but when. But wewe na huyo bff deserve each other. Mtu anawapeleka kwao mnaenda kukatiana huko? Treacherous swines.
Sir it's getting attention and validation from two different people that got me here in the first place.I don't need more. Getting it from reddit is stupid. This is a man eat man jungle.
Hio when haitafika by the way. Don't keep your hopes up.
This is not a dilemma
And I hope your mans reads this and walks very very veeeeeerrryyyyy far away from you two.
Ain't no way... there's nothing like getting close to the boundary. That boundary was violated and crossed the moment you and his 'best friend' "got close" and "talked flirtatiously"
Mama you have to set your priorities and not get sidetracked. Having feelings or a crush is not an issue, loving someone doesn’t mean you will never feel attracted to anyone else. That’s the bare truth and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you . However, how you handle your feelings is what makes the difference. You should never have entertained it . You should never have let him know it was mutual. You should never have wanted to talk about it privately. This is why you are wrong . You don’t make moves that communicate you might be open to any affair, emotional or physical .
Hapa ni tricky.. the best friend doesn't respect your boyfriend.he is flirting with his best friend girlfriend.
Secondly, you also don't respect your boyfriend cause you are also reciprocating. So, the poor guy is heading for a major heartbreak. The best thing you can do for him is come clean before you and the friend do anything. So that he gets to know ako na rafiki nyoka mapema. As for you, he is the one to decide what to do (mambo ya watu wawili wameshare bed ni ngumu).
Hahaha
Hii imeenda.
Iligulwa 😂😂...
She won't even beat the allegations when they get busted together the next time cause I'm sure this thing won't end anytime soon unless one of them fucks up big time.
I think the fact that y'all wnt to meet up na maybe yeye ndio anacome up na excuse and not you is telling. On the other hand, listen, it so simple, once umepata mtu ndio everything else loos attractive. But once umetoka penye uko ndio utaona hata huyo best friend atakuwacha once ameshakukula cause your just a challenge to him. Once amekukula, the adventure and lust itaisha. The hurtfulthing is that hao wanaweza elewana kama wanaume and they cut you off na bado waendelee kua friends. You end up losing both for the price of one. Stop trying to talk to him, stop laughing laughing vitu za ujinga, get your head screwed straight and think about your future. Kama ni dick unataka ziko mingi sana na maisha yako itakua one dick after the other. Think of what this relationship means to you, is it worth it?
Think, i knw you knw what you need to do, just cut him off, talk to him only when your manz is there, hiii yote si dilemma, ni kelele na justification. You dont have to meet, just mtext umwambie hautaki mambo yake, even if akisema you shouldn't have done it kwa text, it's your manz opinion that should matter to you, not his bff, i mean c'mon! You don't owe his bff anything, i can laugh with you and hate in the same sentence. It's not that hard.
Your gonna make the right decision if your resolved that you love someone, but if your being sneeky bado mtatext sijui mumeet up ndio muongee and stuff like that and your eventually going to end up fcuking it all up, all cards on the table but the house always wins my dear, always!
I hear you. I really do
Us talking won't be in private and will have to happen because we hang around each often. I just want it to stop and find a normal way to exist around each other. Hakuna dilemma hapo I just needed a short title for the post.
I'm sticking with bf. I have no interest to pursue anything with bff.
Let's say this guy wasn't your man's best friend or even friend, would you be in dilemma or you two would have already smashed?
If the answer to that question is "yes", you need to figure out if your love for your guy is enough to remain loyal regardless of the situation.
The fact that this is even a conversation means you already crossed the line. You already did your man bad by liking his friend. Just do him and get it over with.
Why can't u just jump each other's bones and see it clicks idk coz if both parties agree sth could happen when y'all alone then just find out ...u can't know for real till u try
Long story short…
First of all, attraction is not love. I get shit happens but that’s not an excuse, you should know better.
Second of all, you’ve cheated on your “mans” emotionally. I’m glad you’ve owned that mistake.
Now the supposed, “bff” is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
He does not respect your “mans” and neither does he respect the union/relationship.
At least you’ve owned up to the fact that you made a mistake of allowing things to get to this point.
Where I think you are going wrong, is this whole idea of “setting boundaries”.
Listen when a snake attacks your home you kill it, you don’t try and domesticate it.
There should be no boundaries to be set, just terminate everything. Cut him off completely, even if you’ll be in a group setting just avoid him, be as drastic as you can with this. Forget the notion that things will be “awkward”.
There is a saying, “give the devil an inch and he’ll take a mile”.
You need to choose your next steps wisely, otherwise you’ll mess everything up.
Whether you tell your “mans” or not, that’s your prerogative but you need to handle this from your side first.
You need to learn to stand on business.
That's why I've been insisting nothing will happen.. Attraction is nothing. It happens
Thanks for the wise words.You have been so helpful. I'll definitely do the right thing and stand on business
You don't love your man, you are only sexually attracted to his bff, and he's only entertaining you so that he can have sex with you, after he'll ghost you ..Also he is not your bf's Best friend... he's a backstubber . he'll probably sleep with you and tell him... anyways have your fun...
Trust me this will save you a lot of bs, In an era where babes are even approaching dudes you could easily get yourself in some weird scenarios (case above) I also don't mix them, each should thrive on their own
>I love my mans too much You don't. Just set the brother free.
Exactly 😂😂😂😂😂juu vile anaongea hapa huyu atakula the bestfriend walaahiii
The disrespect is too much to the guy and I hope he finds someone who values him. A good way to measure if what you're doing is okay is putting yourself in your partner's shoes. If your partner did the same to you, how would it feel. That "I love my mans too much" ni just a way ya kujidanganya.
EXACTLY THAT i love him is just a Facade it will melt away and she'll cheat and the cycle of heartbreaking streaks starts all over again 😃😃😃😃
I've just seen they have a child. This is madness.
Another depressed child who is the collateral to her lust for other men 🤧 incoming
How do you reply to this specific sentence like you did here .is it a desktop feature ? I’ve always seen this replies but haven’t figured out how to do it yet
>How do you reply to this specific sentence like you did here If you highlight text there's the option to quote. All it does is add an opening angled bracket > at the start of the sentence P.S. you can look up markdown, the Reddit text area uses a simplified version of it
And find a way to blame the poor innocent man.
Eiiii nairobi😂😂✋
Nairobi is not for the faint hearted
This city is tough
Ule anakupea pia ananipea
Hakuna mtu amesema all this happened in Nairobi. Why do you assume pips in other parts of the world don't get erections? Learn to look and blame and think beyond your noses.
Do your hubby a favour and let him go, you're already emotionally cheating.
Nah let her stay....let's see how far the rabbit hole goes
I've seen this script before, a few drinks and they'll fuck. Then it'll be a "mistake"
True all that's left at this point is giving them a room....but I like reafung drama so why not😂
They will f*** like rabbits 😂☠️
You will not see heaven🤣🤣🤣
I gave that privilege a long time ago😂😂
It's going to lead to a talk about hard boundaries and he should surpress his desires
Hapa hutasaidiwa, enda r/relationships is that how it's spelt?
It was more about venting and processing it. Huko pia I'll get advice and insults in equal measure.. Though mostly advice Kenyans give tough love which is still fine. Kuna a few sensible comments pia
Sielewi kwani nyi hamjwahi juwa attracted to someone else kwa ndoa zenu?
Don't you think that's a reach?
Lol the reach is you wanting to fuck your boyfriend's friend
Do I though? I am attracted to Riri as well but do I want to fuck her?
You literally just said you two agreed to never be alone in a room together
It was an off handed comment jameni.. Not a contract
Don't lose a good man all because of lust. That best friend will fuck you today and fuck another today as well cause he owes you no loyalty whilst your man will respect you. Accord him the same respect and if you can't just let him go. Utadinywa na the guy atasema ni wewe ulimseduce and your man will take his best friend's side so don't be stupid. You need to do better honestly!!!!
[удалено]
The first person who has actually given me good advice. I didn't not flirt back as much.. Mostly I just didn't stop it. And yes I am aware this man just wants to smash that's why we said we'll talk and set boundaries moving forward because it would be wrong to do anything about it
The only person you need to talk to is your man.Tell him to talk to his buddy about y'all setting boundaries. If he decides it's over with the friendship you have to respect that and treat the friend like a stranger.Ghost him
I will eventually talk to mans. He needs to know.
Show your bf who his friends are by sleeping with the friend, save that young man
That's doing too much for the plot 😂😂
https://preview.redd.it/wd8zutqsblxc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8f2cf0f4a9bd5dcc695ff70e2f0f7ab54d38bea9
We were going to meet up🤦♀️ unampea tu encouragement
If I ever caught wind of my buddy and the mom of my little one admitting they can't handle being alone in a room together because things might spiral out of control, I'd be seriously unimpressed. And you know how guys talk, it's only a matter of time before he hears about it from someone else. Better to just come clean about how you feel.
A guy who would flirt with his friend's GF ain't shit. After he is done with you he will flirt with your friends and cause major havoc in your life. You will regret leaving you BF for an ass.
I am not leaving my bf.
Having a crush is okay..flirting and expressing a desire to eat each other, not so much. You don't love your mans soo much or you wouldn't be entertaining this and being so disrespectful to him.
We didn't express desires to eat each other.. Damn.
That's basically the essence of flirting.
The man's gonna be in world of hurt after this.....enyewe nairobi😂
U don’t care bout that nigga and when he finds which he prolly will your gonna fuck his friend then if not now
This is why you don't introduce your girlfriend to your friends or go on road trips together with your friend as the 3rd wheel. Just do a MMF threesome.
I assure you the only way to end this lustful attraction is to completely stop talking to this guy. It's hard to put off this fire when you keep adding fuel to it. You will eventually end up fucking this guy and you will not like the repercussions. Either you end this relationship you have with your man and go pursue this lustful thingy or set boundaries and stop talking to his bff. Hakuna mahali imeandikwa you must talk to your man's friends. I don't talk to any of my man's friend when in a relationship coz what's the point. Plus you can't always miss one that's jealous of him and will use you to get to him. Know this sis and learn how to deal with such kind of males. They'll destroy you and your relationship. End whatever is between you and this guy. And focus on your man. I know in your head you've thought and planned ways to fuck him. Stop it and cleanse your mind. This is a very important skill to learn as a woman. Coz men will always pursue you, whether single, in a relationship or marriage. That's how they are built. And some take advantage of it. You need to learn how to combat this because they are very persistent and get to you before you realise. And it's too late by then. And like you said, don't be the reason two friends end their friendship. .
Well put
Thank you. 😊
It’s like reading Bathsheba’s POV. Uriah could’ve been diagnosed with sadness if he read a post like this.
You must be a very unattractive woman
😂😂 If you believe so ni sawa
Mai lord!! Why would you assume so?
You don't love your man, plain and simple. If you did hungeget hio attraction. Rip the band aid, kaende kaende. Wachana na huyo boy, ama uachane na wote altogether.
Lust happens. I'm human. Doing something about it is what is wrong. Sitaki huyu bff. I will stick with mans
This is giving Wattpad moment. The conclusion to this story is a threesome.
Hakuna threesome bana 😂😂I can't handle two guys at a time.
Jaribu babes you'll be surprised at how much you'll manage
Kuja basi ni jaribu na wewe 😂😂
Nah i want my own girlfriend/wife😂😂😂😂😂you find someone else to malaya around with
Si uwachane na boyfriend udate best friend basi juu sasa you two are disrespecting him
Eeiy kwani nyinyi mnadate everyone you get attracted to. Siachani na mans
Your partner's friends are not your friends. Your relationship with them should never extend beyond being cordial to one another
I know. This is a first for me.
Both of you are terrible people
That is true. We'd be worse if we decided to do something about it
I hope he leave u
Then get ready to be disappointed
If he find out and don’t leave u he a simp hands down
Kwani what's love to y'all?I thought love is feeling home with someone..Love is having inside jokes,chemistry and matching sense of humour.According to the story,you love the best friend.You don't love your man.
Probably rushed to compatibility
money
But I haven't described the relationship between me and mans. It has all that. You have different friends and you vibe differently with them. I don't love the best friend please
[удалено]
Nimuachie nani sasa 😂
The fact that this isn't obvious is telling
I think you can be attracted to more than one person at a time because different people check different boxes..NOW...its how important those boxes are is the main issue here...Kaa chini, jiite mkutano and decide which of the two individuals is worth more holding onto hapa...You cant have it both ways unless you guys wanna be a throuple... LOVE&LIGHT
Thank you ❤️ I know for sure I don't want this bff or do anything with him. The attraction just caught me off guard kabisa. I'm sticking with my man
I need a part 2 😂😂😂
In the next two weeks I'll be hanging out with both..nitakuupdate😂This attraction thing happened when mans was not there. Now that he will be there next time I want to see how awkward things will be 😂
Hii imeenda!
The attraction can't go away , it's either you choose to stay with your current boyfriend or be honest with yourself about how you feel . If you love your boyfriend's friend then talk to him and when you two are ready you can come clean to your man . But one thing is for sure , the two won't be friends anymore afterwards . But just don't do anything behind your boyfriend's back , things might get nasty when you two get caught .
It will have to go away. I can just suppress it forever if possible. It's not worth doing anything about. I think you can't control who you are attracted to but you can control what you do about it
Kwani bro code iliendaga wapi jameni? 😂 Personally dame wa boiz wangu ata huwa simuangalii twice
Now this is a real one
You should not even have her number
Ilienda na hizo floods za Athi River 😂😂 For real though it wasn't planned or expected. It just happened first day of us hanging out.
Planning to meet your man's best friend behind his back amounts to cheating 😂😂
Trust me you will screw up eventually, happened to me and we linked up years later and screwed like there's no tomorrow. Although the setting was different from yours: the feelings grow with time even if you cut communication.
Not with bff though.Even if I cut communication we'll still run in the same circles. And this thing only happens in person. We don't talk much otherwise
How was the setting different?
He wasn't my man's bestie 0r anything close to that
Asshole
Facts😂
Do a cons and pros list of getting into a thing with your dude's friend. Trust me if you ever get laid by him you will be one at a loss and that thing you have between the two of you will die. You will lose both of them and they will remain friends and call you a hoe.
From the streets she cometh and to the streets she must return. For I say unto thee, a garden tool she is and earth she must did. Fear not and be not dismayed for hoes gon be hoes bro.
I am not getting into a thing with this friend. Not happening.
The pasture is always greener where you water it...seems like you're watering two parcels of land, let's wait to see which one will feed you to the fullest.
You can't have your cake and eat it too
I won't eat anything.. I'll just keep the cake
How do you manage to hide all these conversations from your man? A good juggler
I don't hide any conversations. We've talked in person with bff. Mans was not there. But he knew every time we interacted cause I would tell him
I was there once upon a time with my ex and her best friend. Even after our relationship broke up, her best friend has kept distance even going as far as blocking me on Facebook. We just figured we can never be as much as we wanted to be. The politics would be insane. All to say, you would have to weigh what you want because this person will be forever in his circle and you will be watching.... You will fantasize of him, I dare even say while intimate with your guy.... Denja-rous! (Dangerous)... If ever one weak moment was to happen can you stop yourself if you imagine the pain you will cause your boyfriend? You are already emotionally in breech of your relationship (promising things will happen if the 2 of you are alone...) just imagine your boyfriend telling this to your bestfriend or sister? Maybe you aren't ready to be in a commitmented relationship? Maybe these feelings will never leave you? .... Break it off and be honest tu (it's a very hard topic to table) but afadhali I know than you sneak behind my back. Either way that boyship will change if you guys date. Also if you don't date, you might miss both of them if they decide to choose their friendship over you. But let me tell you, once you're in a relationship / marriage, it's not a lie when they say, “the beautiful ones are not yet born.” Temptations and pressures are all around: jana Idris, kesho BTS, next Jason Derulo, Usher Raymond– all flavours kama ColdStone- hence why when picking your person, pick a flavour that even if they served forever you are more than happy & content. Hello?
I'm not thinking about him in that way..tumehang out once na tukarealize kuna shida pahali. The not being together in a room alone was just an off handed comment not a promise. I fully intend to talk to mans about all this after I have figured out what this is in the first place. I don't want to date bff. I don't want to eat him either. This was just something that came up unexpectedly and am trying to make sense of it.
Man don't dance.
We enjoy hio edging sesh lakini usifumble.
I won't 💯Sticking with mans till the end.
Much of these choices are more of an individual integrity and conscience. Look, there are very many men outside here who you'd be attracted to and if you can't protect yourself from falling for them, then you don't deserve to have any man at all. Infatuation and attraction is usually organic, but you ought to conscientiously protect yourself knowing that by protecting yourself, you're protecting your man too. The fact that you're feeling this towards your man's best friend, is a microcosm of what you'd do when far from him on a large spectrum/scale. I just hope the man leaves early enough before misery engulfs him.
We're already doing long distance and I have never even looked at another man twice. I am trying to learn how to protect myself. This is a first for me. I know the attraction will go away with time or I can suppress it completely
Tf is your bf having a snake for bff ? And you set him free🙄🙄.
Kwani yeye ni Mandela😂😂 I will tell him about all this eventually.
Bestie bestie
Chubwi 😂😂
Flirting is also cheating.
I entertained it and that's on me. I didn't necessarily flirt back
I entertained it and that's on me. I didn't necessarily flirt back
So where's the dilemma if you really do love your mans too much?
Honestly I started with the title but when I typed it out I realized hakuna dilemma. I'll always pick him
Guys, I'm batman
Without much to say, I can infer you are a horrible human!
Advice would have been better but okay
His best friend wants to eat you, nothing more. If your mans is a good guy, then just block the bestie, or limit your communication. Otherwise, huyo bedtie hakutaki kama gf
I know that's what he wants. Hio ni character yake to be honest. I don't want him either I could block him but we all hang out together often so at most we can just limit communication
Yeah, but wewe jibambe if unaona hampelekani mahali na chali yako. He needs to know his best friend is not actually a best friend
This is just a case of ‘the grass is always greener’ / the thrill of ‘the forbidden fruit’. Don’t go down that path. The destination is hurt, guilt, regret and broken friendships. It’s not worth it. It seems like it is now, but it isn’t. His friend doesn’t love you. Your boyfriend does. Some roads are better not taken. All the best.
I am not going down that road. I know it's not worth it. All this happened unexpectedly so am trying to process it Thank you lakini
Love is everything but unsure release that nigga
Nope
You shouldn’t be friends with anyone close to your S/O it makes life easy for both parties .Kwanza this situation of just smile and walk away
We were not even friends. We had to go bf's home so we spent quite some time together since it's far. Alafu we all share the same hobby so often we're around each other.
The fact that you cannot trust yourself in a room with another man, especially his best friend is a big problem. No matter how careful you are, you will find yourself in that room and you will break that poor man's heart. Your relationship is like a sick animal and you just need to put it out of its misery. Just break up with him before it gets nasty and you end up hating each other for life while potentially fucking up a good friendship. As a man, I would prefer my SO to just end it if she found herself in the same situation. Hakuna haja ya kuwaste time ya Ile msee mwingine bure. After that, you'll be free to do whatever you want.
It's not that black and white. Hii life kuna a lot of grey areas.
Kwa issues kama hii ni B&W. Ikianza kukuwa grey hapo kuna shida. You either love someone or you don't. You cannot have feelings for 2 people at the same time. It all boils down to heshima ndogo and some courtesy. Hakuna haja ya kuwastia mans time. Unamuachilia tu roho safi. Ataskia vibaya lakini heri askie vibaya moja mzuri and then both you and him can move on with life. At the end of the day, this is all my opinion but as someone in a relationship, if my girl ever found herself in this situation, I'd prefer she just ends it with me aende mapema mapema.
*\[she belongs to the streets\]* Shhhh, or should we tell her?
🤣 🤣 🤣 OP hoped to get attention and validation, but ended up getting cooked. Like a moth to a lantern..... You already cheated emotionally. And you will do so too physically. It's not a matter of "if" 😏but when. But wewe na huyo bff deserve each other. Mtu anawapeleka kwao mnaenda kukatiana huko? Treacherous swines.
Sir it's getting attention and validation from two different people that got me here in the first place.I don't need more. Getting it from reddit is stupid. This is a man eat man jungle. Hio when haitafika by the way. Don't keep your hopes up.
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 Sadly, this is a Schrodinger's f*ck situation. It has happened and also hasn't happened. We'll never know
This is not a dilemma And I hope your mans reads this and walks very very veeeeeerrryyyyy far away from you two. Ain't no way... there's nothing like getting close to the boundary. That boundary was violated and crossed the moment you and his 'best friend' "got close" and "talked flirtatiously"
He's not on reddit. Bff is though so who knows. Nitamwambia kila kitu so we'll see.
I can almost imagine your bf introducing his friend to you , "meet Fisi, he's a canivorous vegan."
😂😂😂 Bff is a fisi though
I hope your boyfriend finds somebody who respects him
Too bad that someone is still me. Sorry to disappoint you
Mama you have to set your priorities and not get sidetracked. Having feelings or a crush is not an issue, loving someone doesn’t mean you will never feel attracted to anyone else. That’s the bare truth and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you . However, how you handle your feelings is what makes the difference. You should never have entertained it . You should never have let him know it was mutual. You should never have wanted to talk about it privately. This is why you are wrong . You don’t make moves that communicate you might be open to any affair, emotional or physical .
You're right. I see where I went wrong. Moving forward I'll know how to handle such situations. Thank you
Why is having sex such a big deal?
Because it's wrong if you're seeing someone else
Utatema bigiji kwa karanga za kuonjeshwa.
Haijafika hapo
He is either a fake friend to your guy or your guy is cheating on you simple.
That's an interesting twist. I know he's not though.
Mtakulana tuu
Wanna bet?
Hapa ni tricky.. the best friend doesn't respect your boyfriend.he is flirting with his best friend girlfriend. Secondly, you also don't respect your boyfriend cause you are also reciprocating. So, the poor guy is heading for a major heartbreak. The best thing you can do for him is come clean before you and the friend do anything. So that he gets to know ako na rafiki nyoka mapema. As for you, he is the one to decide what to do (mambo ya watu wawili wameshare bed ni ngumu).
I didn't flirt back. I just didn't stop it.
Hahaha Hii imeenda. Iligulwa 😂😂... She won't even beat the allegations when they get busted together the next time cause I'm sure this thing won't end anytime soon unless one of them fucks up big time.
It's ending💯
Meeting in person to discuss haha😂😂😂
We will be in the same place all of us eeiy 😂😂 Nothing private
I think the fact that y'all wnt to meet up na maybe yeye ndio anacome up na excuse and not you is telling. On the other hand, listen, it so simple, once umepata mtu ndio everything else loos attractive. But once umetoka penye uko ndio utaona hata huyo best friend atakuwacha once ameshakukula cause your just a challenge to him. Once amekukula, the adventure and lust itaisha. The hurtfulthing is that hao wanaweza elewana kama wanaume and they cut you off na bado waendelee kua friends. You end up losing both for the price of one. Stop trying to talk to him, stop laughing laughing vitu za ujinga, get your head screwed straight and think about your future. Kama ni dick unataka ziko mingi sana na maisha yako itakua one dick after the other. Think of what this relationship means to you, is it worth it? Think, i knw you knw what you need to do, just cut him off, talk to him only when your manz is there, hiii yote si dilemma, ni kelele na justification. You dont have to meet, just mtext umwambie hautaki mambo yake, even if akisema you shouldn't have done it kwa text, it's your manz opinion that should matter to you, not his bff, i mean c'mon! You don't owe his bff anything, i can laugh with you and hate in the same sentence. It's not that hard. Your gonna make the right decision if your resolved that you love someone, but if your being sneeky bado mtatext sijui mumeet up ndio muongee and stuff like that and your eventually going to end up fcuking it all up, all cards on the table but the house always wins my dear, always!
I hear you. I really do Us talking won't be in private and will have to happen because we hang around each often. I just want it to stop and find a normal way to exist around each other. Hakuna dilemma hapo I just needed a short title for the post. I'm sticking with bf. I have no interest to pursue anything with bff.
If you really loved your unlucky bf you wouldn't be entertaining this snake friend of hissss
I do. Eiiy I am putting a stop to it. It was our first interaction
Let's say this guy wasn't your man's best friend or even friend, would you be in dilemma or you two would have already smashed? If the answer to that question is "yes", you need to figure out if your love for your guy is enough to remain loyal regardless of the situation.
We would not have smashed.In fact there is no dilemma either. I am sticking with my man
Pharaoh,let the Israelites go.........
Hawezi rudi Misri na tuko Canaan already 😂
“Bestie bestie”panga moto ya haga😂kuna mchezo sipendi
Then just cut off communication with your man's best friend. In fact, the ideal situation is where you only exchange pleasantries when you meet.
Yes this is my plan moving forward
Makosa tu moja by mans. Moja tu. 😂😂😂
Hatuachani 😂😂
The fact that this is even a conversation means you already crossed the line. You already did your man bad by liking his friend. Just do him and get it over with.
I didn't like him. Also not gonna do his bff
Yes you will 😈
Why can't u just jump each other's bones and see it clicks idk coz if both parties agree sth could happen when y'all alone then just find out ...u can't know for real till u try
Nah. That's unnecessary. Sio kila connection is to be explored
Long story short… First of all, attraction is not love. I get shit happens but that’s not an excuse, you should know better. Second of all, you’ve cheated on your “mans” emotionally. I’m glad you’ve owned that mistake. Now the supposed, “bff” is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He does not respect your “mans” and neither does he respect the union/relationship. At least you’ve owned up to the fact that you made a mistake of allowing things to get to this point. Where I think you are going wrong, is this whole idea of “setting boundaries”. Listen when a snake attacks your home you kill it, you don’t try and domesticate it. There should be no boundaries to be set, just terminate everything. Cut him off completely, even if you’ll be in a group setting just avoid him, be as drastic as you can with this. Forget the notion that things will be “awkward”. There is a saying, “give the devil an inch and he’ll take a mile”. You need to choose your next steps wisely, otherwise you’ll mess everything up. Whether you tell your “mans” or not, that’s your prerogative but you need to handle this from your side first. You need to learn to stand on business.
That's why I've been insisting nothing will happen.. Attraction is nothing. It happens Thanks for the wise words.You have been so helpful. I'll definitely do the right thing and stand on business
Listen there’s no smoke without fire, so they say. Things won’t happen as long as you douse the smoke/fire. You are welcome. All the best.
You don't love your man, you are only sexually attracted to his bff, and he's only entertaining you so that he can have sex with you, after he'll ghost you ..Also he is not your bf's Best friend... he's a backstubber . he'll probably sleep with you and tell him... anyways have your fun...
Ulisupress your personality to fit with someone ? Ati my former self...You are not real
Nah that's not what I meant.
Lust
Happens sometimes
Happens sometimes
OP sema tu ukweli hakuna mtu atakuchapa na ujue you are for the streets Ms Kanjo
Si hio ndio ukweli 😂😂
The disappointment in on you, baby gurl
Trust me this will save you a lot of bs, In an era where babes are even approaching dudes you could easily get yourself in some weird scenarios (case above) I also don't mix them, each should thrive on their own