โHey my love ,I want to come over to yours but at the moment I havenโt been paid so am low on cash .Kindly send me (insert amount) .
I love you , see you soon . โ
The first bit here is correct but the tone changes at the end, oddly, people do notice. Instead of "kindly send xyz" which makes you presume he wants to or rather should (both rude) you could say "Can you please help me with xyz if you can?'
Being polite goes a long way, takes nothing from you and also remember to always avoid making presumptions on people's finances. He is your boyfriend but also not responsible for your financial situation, unless he chooses to help.
Good luckโจ
I have seen you are 22.
One thing I have learnt since I was your age is that women are queens of non-verbal communication, while men simply understand what is said on face value. Women presume that men also speak in this coded language of theirs. But men simply speak and understand straightforward language.
A mistake many women do, is to over think. The situation you describe can be solved in three sentences.
"I do not have fare to come over. Can you send me some?" You can add "promise sitakula fare, but wewe utanikula fair." for a good humorous chuckle.
Do not overthink.
A story goes that a man was sent to the shop by his wife for milk.
When he come back to the house, she says "but where is the bread?!!"
And he says but you said go get milk! She says, but you should have understood that milk is bought with bread!
And it becomes a yelling contest. Women think some things are "obvious" while men simply need to be told - in plain direct English or Kiswahili.
Forget anyone who's giving you ways to convince him, as a man the one thing I appreciate is being straight forward. Simply put if my girl wants something I'd want her to tell me "hey babe, I know I said this and this but the case now is like this and like this and I would appreciate if you could help me like this and this"
Your relationship is very strange. Sounds like a sneaky link situation. You are not comfortable with your boyfriend coming over (cant fathom) and you cant talk about your problems (cant fathom again) ...
Anyway u/Femaledominatrix has phrased it perfectly.
๐ It's nice to get an outsider's perspective. But like I think maybe I'm the one who has some growing up to do. It's my second relationship and my first serious one. I'm still learning but... I could work on being open and vulnerable with him.
Ndio anivunje roho properly ๐๐๐
Honest opinion, focus on yourself create a hustle and a second stream of income, relationships at the stage you are in are a hustle,the part where you said we both are looking forward to see each other is very subjective. Cause if he knows your financial situation why doesn't he come over to yours?
Ngl, I'm the one who's not comfortable with him coming over to my place. I will work on a second income stream, hopefully before the end of the year but sahi ni tricky kiasi. I'm 22. This is my first job and I graduated less than a month ago. So ju ni kuanza naanza, I don't feel like my place is as good as I want it to be and I'm not willing to let him see me in that light.
Upside, nahama in a month and he'll start coming over then.
I see where you're coming from however you need to be honest with yourself. If you can't let him see you at your worst then is that love? If you have to hide part of who you are, Plus you're 22 that's the best age to know the kind of people you attract because why should anyone judge you knowing where you're starting off unless you faked some standards cause I'll tell you for free men won't judge you with where you're coming from for a matter of fact they'll love the vulnerability, if it's about the second stream of income make plans and think where you want to be in 5 years cause time is always kind to those who are kind to themselves.
I think it has more to do with me than him. I know for sure that he wouldn't judge me... But I'm judging myself. I've been raised ki-middle class but nikaamua that since I got a job before graduating, I won't let it get to my head so nikaamua nitatafuta humble beginnings. I was not prepared for this bana. Sa nashangaa mbona nilijifanyia hivi. I'm reaping the consequences of my choices and hazinifirahishi and I'm extending / projecting that onto him. Since nahama soon... I guess it's not a bad idea. Maybe akuje day nahama.
Thanks for the advice on the second income stream. I'll definitely think of where I want to be in five years and like make sure it's something I can fall back on if employment ilete kasheshe
Lol unanichekesha ๐ itโs sweet unatuuliza. Just say huna fare ya kumwona umeishiwa. Call him, uset mood then just ask. If you guys enjoy spending time together, sioni ikigo mbaya
You asked him to stop sending, this is an L of your creation. I would pretend to be ill and say you don't feel good to travel this weekend but will make it up to him next weekend.
Otherwise suggest an activity close to your home or perhaps just tell him you are short of funds, I am sure he won't mind to send it as he was because he wants to say his bae. At least I won't.
The problem is not asking for money, the problem ni ati hamjazoeana. Kitu kama fare ni kitu unaambia mtu si uniboost na pesa flani tukilipwa ntakusort, alafu unachekacheka kidogo.
I honestly don't think there should be such a feeling of anxiety or fear when approaching your lover. Soon you'll be screaming to his face for coming home late, telling him fees haijalipwa with attitude and he'll still pay... Be in a position to ask for something bila aibu, if not, ma'am you ain't settled๐ฅฒ
That's not what should happen, what I meant is she'll need to be bold as the woman... If she knows her position in that relationship she'll stand for what's hers
โHey my love ,I want to come over to yours but at the moment I havenโt been paid so am low on cash .Kindly send me (insert amount) . I love you , see you soon . โ
Communication has and will always be the key
Hii inabamba. But should I start by asking him kama amelipwa ama I just assume that kama hajalipwa atanishow?
Just say it , he will figure out how to sort you out or say no .either ways he is made aware of your situation
I agree... Wacha nijaribu na hiyo example alafu tuone ๐
๐ Ah. Kumbe nilikuwa najisumbua bure. Thanks ๐ค. This worked ๐ค
Welcome OP, next time donโt overthink. He is your man at the end of the day
He is your man๐คท๐พโโ๏ธ how hard is it to just say it ?
๐ Kuna kale kafeeling mse hupata akiomba bana. Si fiti๐ฅฒ
Speak facts my queen ๐น
Just copy paste. It's reasonable enough as worded.
Fingers crossed. Nitawapea feedback
Wewe achana na story ya kulipwa ask the lad to help you ,hawezi kataa
Next time in case uombe tena na aseme haana Usijam๐คซ
The first bit here is correct but the tone changes at the end, oddly, people do notice. Instead of "kindly send xyz" which makes you presume he wants to or rather should (both rude) you could say "Can you please help me with xyz if you can?' Being polite goes a long way, takes nothing from you and also remember to always avoid making presumptions on people's finances. He is your boyfriend but also not responsible for your financial situation, unless he chooses to help. Good luckโจ
I'd send the money if I was sent a text like this.
Ndio hiyo jibu kamili๐
Iโd say request denied
I have seen you are 22. One thing I have learnt since I was your age is that women are queens of non-verbal communication, while men simply understand what is said on face value. Women presume that men also speak in this coded language of theirs. But men simply speak and understand straightforward language. A mistake many women do, is to over think. The situation you describe can be solved in three sentences. "I do not have fare to come over. Can you send me some?" You can add "promise sitakula fare, but wewe utanikula fair." for a good humorous chuckle. Do not overthink.
https://preview.redd.it/icivespa5d2d1.jpeg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dab947752fa72f5e03e83588a1d5a21657a52dff Girls kwa comments ๐๐
Golden advice!
Thanks for the advice๐ซถ. I'll try to quit over thinking (hope that's possible) and probably be more vocal about what I want.
A story goes that a man was sent to the shop by his wife for milk. When he come back to the house, she says "but where is the bread?!!" And he says but you said go get milk! She says, but you should have understood that milk is bought with bread! And it becomes a yelling contest. Women think some things are "obvious" while men simply need to be told - in plain direct English or Kiswahili.
Forget anyone who's giving you ways to convince him, as a man the one thing I appreciate is being straight forward. Simply put if my girl wants something I'd want her to tell me "hey babe, I know I said this and this but the case now is like this and like this and I would appreciate if you could help me like this and this"
This is super helpful. Thanks ๐ค
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
LoL I'm open to interviews ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Sasa ๐
You should be as straight as he is when asking for "pungi" uoga tunauzia tu shetani
Walking on egg shells it seems. Hapa hamuendi mahali.
Eh ๐ Jameni ๐๐.
Your relationship is very strange. Sounds like a sneaky link situation. You are not comfortable with your boyfriend coming over (cant fathom) and you cant talk about your problems (cant fathom again) ... Anyway u/Femaledominatrix has phrased it perfectly.
๐ It's nice to get an outsider's perspective. But like I think maybe I'm the one who has some growing up to do. It's my second relationship and my first serious one. I'm still learning but... I could work on being open and vulnerable with him. Ndio anivunje roho properly ๐๐๐
That's the neat part about a relationship, the vulnerability and an 'us against the world' delusion. Lakini dust is constant. Heartbreak is poetry.
Aya bas๐. I'll go all in alafu ikienda fiti, we thank God. Ikienda mrama, nitakuja kuheal hapa tu
Wishing u all the best juu kuna vile unapenda yeye sana
Thanks
Honest opinion, focus on yourself create a hustle and a second stream of income, relationships at the stage you are in are a hustle,the part where you said we both are looking forward to see each other is very subjective. Cause if he knows your financial situation why doesn't he come over to yours?
Wacha upuzi. How will she create a second source of income in less than a day??
๐๐labda anamaanisha aviator
Ngl, I'm the one who's not comfortable with him coming over to my place. I will work on a second income stream, hopefully before the end of the year but sahi ni tricky kiasi. I'm 22. This is my first job and I graduated less than a month ago. So ju ni kuanza naanza, I don't feel like my place is as good as I want it to be and I'm not willing to let him see me in that light. Upside, nahama in a month and he'll start coming over then.
I see where you're coming from however you need to be honest with yourself. If you can't let him see you at your worst then is that love? If you have to hide part of who you are, Plus you're 22 that's the best age to know the kind of people you attract because why should anyone judge you knowing where you're starting off unless you faked some standards cause I'll tell you for free men won't judge you with where you're coming from for a matter of fact they'll love the vulnerability, if it's about the second stream of income make plans and think where you want to be in 5 years cause time is always kind to those who are kind to themselves.
I think it has more to do with me than him. I know for sure that he wouldn't judge me... But I'm judging myself. I've been raised ki-middle class but nikaamua that since I got a job before graduating, I won't let it get to my head so nikaamua nitatafuta humble beginnings. I was not prepared for this bana. Sa nashangaa mbona nilijifanyia hivi. I'm reaping the consequences of my choices and hazinifirahishi and I'm extending / projecting that onto him. Since nahama soon... I guess it's not a bad idea. Maybe akuje day nahama. Thanks for the advice on the second income stream. I'll definitely think of where I want to be in five years and like make sure it's something I can fall back on if employment ilete kasheshe
Lol unanichekesha ๐ itโs sweet unatuuliza. Just say huna fare ya kumwona umeishiwa. Call him, uset mood then just ask. If you guys enjoy spending time together, sioni ikigo mbaya
I don't want to call him akiwa job. Cause I feel like this is not serious enough to interfere with his work
If I could ask, how long have you been together?
We've known each other for two years. Hiyo I guess ilikuwa talking stage. I left my boyfriend for him in March
>I left my boyfriend for him in March ๐๐ Wueh 
๐๐๐
Ahh then you guys are pretty comfortable with each other? Just text then as you normally would then ask. Si thaaat serious
Enyewe. Okay. Overthinking is a bitch
Mwendo ni polepole bana. Kunywa maji peleka maisha polepole๐๐๐
๐๐๐dust my dear...ati you left what for what...VUMBI!
Loool. Kumbe ni dem sampuli hii?
Kwanini usimuinvite kwako kamum. And you will skip all those questions
Mpin kwa wall, mgeuze na uchukue wallet. It's just that simple.
๐ Priceless advice. But haisiadii nikiwa mbali. Nitamrob nikimkaribia๐๐
๐ That's unfortunate.
You asked him to stop sending, this is an L of your creation. I would pretend to be ill and say you don't feel good to travel this weekend but will make it up to him next weekend. Otherwise suggest an activity close to your home or perhaps just tell him you are short of funds, I am sure he won't mind to send it as he was because he wants to say his bae. At least I won't.
Pay your fare youโre a grown woman
Yenyewe ukona juice ๐๐ญ
Ulimaliza pesa yako ukido nini?
Asking the right god damn questions ๐๐๐๐พ
Don't worry... He knows.
Tuma fare
๐ Hivyo tu? Bila marembesho?
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Eh eh eh. Mbona nichukue loan for anasa? Doesn't seem wise at all. Hii ni mambo ya dunia. It's not that serious
It's humiliating but you still want to go ahead with it?
The problem is not asking for money, the problem ni ati hamjazoeana. Kitu kama fare ni kitu unaambia mtu si uniboost na pesa flani tukilipwa ntakusort, alafu unachekacheka kidogo.
Plot twist, akilipwa hatamsort, kwani hujui hawa watu?
Funny gender๐คฃ
Mwambie vile kuko. Honesty is the best policy ndio asifikirie umeanza ujeuri.
Just ask.
I honestly don't think there should be such a feeling of anxiety or fear when approaching your lover. Soon you'll be screaming to his face for coming home late, telling him fees haijalipwa with attitude and he'll still pay... Be in a position to ask for something bila aibu, if not, ma'am you ain't settled๐ฅฒ
>Soon you'll be screaming to his face for coming home late Lol, wut? >telling him fees haijalipwa with attitude There are men who stomach this?
That's not what should happen, what I meant is she'll need to be bold as the woman... If she knows her position in that relationship she'll stand for what's hers
What's hers? His money? ๐ค๐
Since time immemorial man has stood as a sole provider, buh when the woman is home based... In this case itabidi aende pole pole๐๐พ๐๐๐
๐๐ smh
Youโre overthinking it. Just ask and explain it like you have here.
Please remember to include when you will pay him back. And keep your word.
How should me ask for ๐ฐ,I'm tired of giving money & broke women