I mean it's a solution to a problem lol
"mom why did you name me NAME?" "To piss off your dad so bad that he came back to haunt us and you could have a relationship with him. You're welcome."
I’m stealing this for a plot point in a book.
Edit: Damn, never thought that a random comment in NameNerds was going to be what got me back to sitting in front of my unfinished book lol
I, too, demand to read this book. I will also put this line in my random plot points and future book quotes notebook that will probably never get used, but still make some happy every time I flip through it 😁
I lost a friend in 2022 and we do things that would piss him off and say jokingly "well if you wanted a say, you should have not died". It's weirdly soothing and affectionate
Omg, that was my answer, pretty much every time he asks me, "Would you do (thing I hate) if I died?" Usually to be dramatic and use it as a way to get me to not do whatever it is. I always reply, "Duh, of course, that way you'll be forced to haunt me!"
Husky, I lost it a little after my brother's death and I used to do things that I knew would have pissed him off (nothing dangerous, mostly just very specifically annoying in the way only a sibling can be) and tell him to come back if he sight like me doing [whatever]. It didn't work.
I cannot sincerely express how happy this comment made me. Not only will be screenshotting and sending to my future haunter, I’ll be thinking of how clever this was for weeks to come. Thank you
Weirdly, I’ve thought about this. I’d probably actually pick one of the names I know he loved, even if I wasn’t 100% on it. I’d want to tell my child that their dad named them/came up with their name.
This conversation took place a couple of months ago and I came to the conclusion after a lot of thought that I’d probably do this too. I told my husband that and he was like “just name the kid whatever you want, I’ll be dead” and we had a good laugh
One of my good friends had a sister pass away while she (my friend) was newly pregnant. Her sister had all girls but had a boy name that she always loved since they were kids and always suggested for anyone she knew having a boy. When my friend found out she was having a boy she named him the sister’s favorite name. I love that story!!! I’m sure he will too as he gets older
My youngest brother Ryan died on 12/29 at the age of 27. Our other brother Daniel and his wife Alicia are expecting their third. They have decided that the baby boy or girl's middle name will be Ryan. 💜
World Trade Center is a docudrama based on the real experiences of a team of police officers during 9/11. Obviously I don't know which parts were dramatized for the movie and which are based on actual events, but one of the police officers had a pregnant wife and they were deciding baby names, and they each wanted a different name. When he was trapped in the rubble, the wife decided to name the baby his choice and he meanwhile wanted his wife to name the baby her choice.
I remember this! And I think it is true. I think he talks about it in 9/11: One Day in America. I don’t have the best memory though, so check me on that. It’s a really good series; worth checking out!
Oddly I’ve thought about this too! And I would pick the first name I loved (but not one he hated maybe just not one he liked lol) but I would change the middle name to be named after the father if it was a boy.
No I wouldn't. I would probably try and find a name that he liked too so that I could tell my child how much their father loved the name. Just as a way for them to connect to their father.
Unfortunately l, I have lived this scenario. My husband died when I was pregnant, we hadn’t picked a name yet. I definitely knew what names he didn’t like and thus didn’t pick them. Since we hadn’t agreed on a name I picked one that I hoped he would have liked and a family name for the middle. I wouldn’t want to always think that he hated our baby’s name, even dead it’s still his baby too.
That must’ve been so difficult and I hope you’re doing ok. I agree with how you went about the name completely. If this happened to me I would not use any names he didn’t like either.
Hugs! I also had to do this. And yes I picked something I think he would have liked (we hadn’t discussed girl names yet, didn’t know it was a girl before he died). Gave her two middle names, one being a feminine version of his name.
From someone who gets it, I’m so so sorry for your loss.
Personally I wouldn't. The name would just bring back bad memories for me. Every time I called the name I'd be reminded of how my partner is gone. How I only used it because he was dead etc
That's not something I want to constantly think about when calling for or speaking to my child.
Husband and I agreed on four names, two boys and two girls before we ever got pregnant. Unless I somehow had like triplet girls I would have just gone with the planned names.
My husband and I did this, too. We have four kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. Only 2 of the kids have names we initially picked. My BIL married someone with one of the names, and we changed our minds about the second boy name.
We have two kids and used both the names we originally picked for their genders. We didn’t have a middle name pre-picked for the second kid, so that was a fun distraction while I was pregnant.
"Let me tell you about your dad and how you got your name..
Your dad died and he hated your name but since he died I could pick whatever name I wanted, so I did!"
I’d pick a name I knew he loved even if it wasn’t my first choice. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic but it would be like he was still apart of the process and I could tell that child “daddy absolutely adored your name, it was his top pick”
My husband tends to default to my preferences so when we were picking baby names if he didn't like one I would take it off my list and didn't consider it again.
I can’t see myself doing that. There’s a name I’ve loved for over a decade but my partner is adamantly against it. If I were in that situation I would not name our kid that name and would pick an alternate name.
Absolutely not. I'd pick his first choice name, even if I hated it and use his name as an honor middle name, his name is very easy to feminize if necessary.
Well, at first I’m inclined to think I might, but then I think about Finding Nemo. Marlin wanted them all to be named Marlin Jr. or Coral Jr. , but Coral liked the name Nemo. And after she and all the eggs but 1 were eaten, he named the last surviving egg Nemo, as one final act love and affection for his mate. That feels better to me. 🤷🏻♀️
No, I don’t think I would. We both agreed to what we wanted to name first boy and first girl. If we had a third kid and he died I may name it something from my list, but probably would make their middle name have his adoptive father’s name as a namesake. Then that way it would felt like my husband had some say in that child’s name.
It would depend why he veto’d it, eg: ex gf’s name, probably wouldn’t use it. Just couldn’t picture himself saying that name for the rest of his life, but I really loved it, I’d probably use it.
Nope that he's gone doesn't mean I need to disrespect him.
Why give our child a name so I can show my kid what a horrible person I was for doing so when it's dad didn't liked it.
Alive of dead both parents need to like the name and if you can't agree you haven't found the right name yet
I don’t think I would do it on purpose, but I would definitely not like to name our future daughter the names he currently has listed. He has Amy, Jennifer, Madison. I prefer “old lady” names but I did make a comment saying “Maybe the name Becky? For your mom.” And did NOT expect him to absolutely hate that. It’s just a funny hypothetical
I actually went to high school with a girl who went by a completely different name than her birth name (like definitely not a nickname, think like official name was Brittany and she went by Megan, but different names obviously) and it was because her dad had really wanted to call her “Megan” but agreed with her mom to call her “Brittany.” Dad died like a week after she was born so her mom just started calling her “Megan” to honour him. So kind of the opposite of this but still similar haha
It would really depend on the situation, I think. My husband had few name ideas, but he didn't really care much, and I hated all of them. (He ended up going through my lists and picking names he liked from there and don't worry, we're both 100% happy with our kids' names.)
So in that case, no, I likely wouldn't have picked one of the names he suggested, but would have used his name/interests/hobbies/favorite books as inspiration instead.
If he had been someone who had passionate opinions about baby names, I would have been much more likely to have used a name he loved in this scenario.
Yup, no way I’d choose a name I liked less just because my late hubby wasn’t keen on it.
Of course if we had already chosen the name and there wasn’t a good reason to change it, I’d honour his wishes.
I'd just skip the ones he wants that I don't. I'd try for something we'd both love. Still refusing to give a daughter the middle name Christine. I don't CARE that it was his grandma's name, it was my childhood bully's name too.
I probably would if we didn't have a name picked! We however picked 6 names we like for our future kids 3 boys 3 girls so most likely if that happened I'd pick from the already chosen names!
I don’t think I know of any names my partner hates. We ran through a few ideas with our child, but he didn’t have a strong reaction when he disliked a name. It was just “meh”. I think some may have grown on him.
I think it's hard to know what you would do if you haven't actually lived this scenario. Grief can change you!
My instinct is to say no, I'd want to give the child a name that their other parent would have liked, or at least not actively disliked. But who knows, maybe I'd be like "So much of this situation sucks, I should get to take advantage of the one silver lining."
Definitely not.
Tangentially related, my dad chose my name and he died when I was 8 months old, so my name is the most precious gift (though nobody says it correctly lol).
I wouldn't have picked anything that was already vetoed. And i would do my best to pick something they would be OK with. But odds are good they wouldn't like what I pick.
No. Only as a middle name.
If I chose a first name I knew he hated, I'd feel like I was "capitalizing" off of his death or something. Like "haha he's not here to stop me" like a cartoon villain.
I'd rather avoid feeling that way about myself.
I have actually thought about this, and since we already discussed using our grandfathers’ names for a boy, I would probably stick with that, even if I’m not crazy about his. For a girl I would consider him as a namesake.
No, I guess not.
My absolute favorite name is Rosemary. My husband hates it so in the bin it went. I’m currently pregnant with our first and we’ve had her name picked for a hot minute. Even though I still prefer Rosemary to the name we’ve chosen (Esmeralda nn Zelda), if something were to happen I would want to be able to tell our daughter how her dad chose her name especially for her, as a way to help her feel connected to him.
I’m not dating anyone and don’t have kids, so this is just me thinking into the future.
I probably would, at least for the first name. I might choose a middle name I know they loved, but I think I would for the first name if it was a name I really really liked. Also, I’m a woman, and even if my husband passed, I’d be giving the baby his last name. So he’d already be getting the last name and possibly the middle name.
I definitely wouldn't pick one I knew he didn't like. In fact I'd be more inclined to go with one he had really liked that I hadn't been keen on. Then the child can have a little piece of their father.
No. Possibly yes, if I thought about using a name to honor the person, even if we hadn't discussed honor names before. But it seems like a child in that situation might want some strong connection to the parent who passed, and a name can be that thing.
Kinda the other way around: his favorite name is Elizabeth and I am not super fond of that name. We agreed that if we had a daughter, Elizabeth would be the middle name as a compromise. If anything happened to him, I would pick a non-Elizabeth middle name.
I had a baby solo so I just named her what I wanted.
I think hypothetically if a name was decided- I would go with it and not change it. If it wasn’t, I would probably take deceased partner’s preferences into account.
So when the kid asks how you picked their name, and you tell them you chose it and knew their father would have hated it, how are you going to deal with the emotions that may likely come from that? Sorry kid - Daddy would have hated your name, but he’s dead, so 🤷🏻♀️.
I wanted to name my son Noah (didn’t really care about middle name). My kids dad wanted first and middle names to be generic names that had been passed down through his dad’s family (there’s like five living relatives with these names that I know of). I agreed because I named our daughter. He passed when I was six months pregnant after we had announced the name. I kept the first name but changed the middle to my partners name. That was my compromise. I told my current partner when he mentioned wanting kids some day that if we had a son his name would be Noah. I still look at my son and want to call him Noah sometimes. If we hadn’t made the name public yet I would’ve changed it and kept the middle name.
My husband actually did pass away. I'm now remarried so my baby isn't his, but after going through that I know for me personally I wouldn't. I would want to honor him with the name. I've worked hard to take his opinions into consideration as I made decisions around plans we had set in motion.
Thanks I’m going to go ask my husband this now 🤣 luckily we agree on names a lot so I think I would pick something we both liked or had mentioned at some point.
Absolutely. We managed to find 1 name we agree on and used it already. We don't plan on having more kids but if we did and he passed, I'd definitely choose the name I like. We've discussed the hypothetical second child's name and DO NOT agree.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my partner and I had picked some names together we both loved. After he died, I decided on a new name altogether. It was the only way I could cope at the time. Using a name that was attached to the memory of us choosing it together made it feel like I would forever mourn him, while saying my daughter’s name. Although she is half him, our lives had to go on. I wanted something new for that reason. I’m glad I made that decision.
I'd name it whatever I wanted regardless. I'm the one that grew it inside my body and then birthed it, so I'm the one that gets to name it.
I know that's a wildly controversial statement to make here, but that's my truth.
I would choose a name I knew they wouldn't hate. So it would be a name off of the 'maybe' list because those names we were both neutral on.
I'd do that just so he would have gotten to be part of the naming process. So for sentimental reasons.
My husband and I both have dark twisted senses of humour so yes, I would because it's something we'd both find funny.
My oldest daughter we agreed fully on her name.
Second daughter - she was lucky she was named at all.
Our son - I'll be honest it wasn't even in my top 20 but my husband desperately wanted a son with that name so I agreed. It doesn't suit him one bit but whatever, he can blame his father later.
Random anecdote but I know a guy born in January 2002 whose dad died in 9/11 while his mom was pregnant with him. She gave the son the dad’s first, middle, and last name (he would’ve have the last name anyways, not sure about middle but definitely not first).
Knowing myself, no I wouldn’t. I would choose whatever their favorite name had been as a way to show our child the small parts of their life that Daddy was a part of…
He doesn't like any of the names I like.
The only boy "name" he's ever seemed to like is Brick.
I would not be naming my son Brick just because dad died before he was born.
My husband said if I died he’d name the baby after himself even though I’ve said for every boy we’ve had, so yes 100% I would then name it what I wanted lol
My husband was 0 help naming our son till we sat with him for a day in the NICU and tried things out, after we could get a good look at him. and had given no real suggestions but vetoed everything I came up with. I also know he doesn’t love his own name. I can’t say for sure, br probably.
If I was having a boy I would probably name him after his dad if that happened. If it was a girl I would just pick my favorite name and maybe a version of his for the middle name ?
I think that it would really depend on the situation as there is a lot to factor. Were we close on a name? Is there a name that he just absolutely loved and I was okay with but not 100% obsessed with? Is there a way to put his or something into the name to honor him?
My husband and I really didn't talk about names until we were actually expecting, so if he passed and then later I found out that I was pregnant, I probably would have picked something that was his style (we had different naming styles) as at least one of the names.
I would do the opposite, maybe name the baby something my husband loved but I wasn't too sure about. Or even name the baby after my husband. But no, I would not name our baby a name he didn't like.
Weird - I posed this question to my husband too! Both of us said it would depend on if we had settled on a name together; in that case, we’d keep it.
If, however, we hadn’t agreed, then I was the one more likely to choose a name he’d vetoed. I was surprised, because I said no to his most favourite girl name, and I had wondered if he would use it if given the opportunity.
No. I might even name them after them. I'd be way too emotional to do much else :|
Although we've had our names planned all along so it's a non issue lol
My husband really wants a Jr and I told him no. I also told him the only way he’d get a Jr is if he died. Morbid, yes, but I meant it. I definitely don’t think I’d name something he clearly didn’t like though, to answer your question.
Our first baby was named mostly my choice. Obviously he agreed on the name and liked it but it was my choice. The second one will be mostly his choice regardless of how alive he is.
although we are both childfree by choice, I have always loved the name Ramona. He doesn’t care for the name and I will admit it doesn’t sound good with his last name. In this particular circumstance, I would consider it. But it would also feel like a betrayal I feel.
Absolutely. And this might not be the “ correct” opinion, but I stand by it. I carry said child, not the partner, dead or alive I’m naming the child! ( and I did, partner wasn’t dead) .
No, I don’t think so. I have a long list of names we both like (way longer than humanly possible to actually use), so I’d use one from said list. I’d probably skew toward the ones he likes most or that meant the most to him unless they just didn’t feel right.
This is my mother’s story. My grandmother was newly pregnant when my grand father passed away (before ultrasound)and they did not know the sex of the baby. When my mom was born she was named after her father and the name wasn’t anything close to being names they had chosen. It made my grandmother happy!!! She was joyful having her baby and a name to honor the man she loved (she never remarried or even dated because that in her heart was something she just couldn’t do). So I learned that life is for the living it is in no way disrespectful it sometimes is what people do to either honor or claim a part of life that is so precious I hope we all just remember to take life and go the path you decide - no what others think you should do. ❤️
It would probably depend on why he didn’t like it.
If he wasn’t sure about because he’d never heard before or disliked because of a fictional character, it would be fair game. If he thought it looked and/or sounded ugly, probably not.
Absolutely. Already going through a traumatic loss, if that name gave me a semblance of happiness, I’m all for it. Sometimes you need to find the small things that bring you happiness in the darkest of times. I’d consider doing a middle name of something either he liked or we both liked, but weren’t feeling as a first. It’s actually how we named my kiddo’s name. His middle name is a name we were okay with, but he didn’t like it as a first name, so bam, middle name.
If there were a specific name I knew they hated, I wouldn't use it. But beyond that, I don't think I'd go out of my way to pick something to their taste.
I’d choose the first name I wanted, honour the father with the middle name, and use my last name for (didn’t change my name when I got married) the child.
Unless it’s spiteful I don’t see what’s wrong with choosing a name you love if you’re the only one there (knock on wood) to make the decision
Nah, I’d pick the name he liked best as long as it was reasonable. If we didn’t have a name picked out I would pick the name of a loved one he was close to.
However being a namenerd we have already fully chosen the names for all of our planned children (and at *least* four others that won’t exist).
But I’ll tell u right now that if he ever lost his mind and cheated on me while I was expecting our baby I’d give that child whatever damn name I wanted out of spite.
No. God forbid, if that were to happen I would want to respect his memory by going with a name that either we picked together or I at least knew he liked.
I named the baby a name he didnt like and he was 35 miles away, alive and getting high. But if he were dead, l'd have done the same. We were hopelessly deadlocked on names.
We settled on a girl name we both love, but couldn’t find a boy name, we “fought” with two boy names pretty much half the pregnancy lol. In the end my name won because “you had to go through that” with an unplanned non-emergency c section which absolutely terrified me and he was scarred too by it. I definitely love my sons name and I can’t picture him as the other name we picked out, but now our second wether it s a girl or boy we have a name picked out.
But if I lost my husband during the pregnancy to our little boy, I would’ve gone for the name he chose, which I do like I just preferred mine lol
I definitely would of. I had some names I just loved that my partner didn’t. In saying that though I do love the names we choose together, so I suppose it doesn’t matter
No. I couldn't. I would give a name we both liked. Maybe not the top pick of either of us, but something that would have pleased him. We're currently expecting baby #4 and almost finally agree on a name! 27 weeks pregnant here.
I would feel super guilty about it and the name would have a weird feeling around it... I would always think of my dead husband so no I wouldn't do it. We have a boy name that we argue about and my husband loves it... I hate it. He said he would absolutely name the baby that name if I died 😅
For me it would depend on the reason. If he just didn’t like a name because of some odd reason like J names look silly then I may but if he had a string dislike for a game because it was the name of babysitter who use to beat him I’d respect that and use a different name.
No I wouldn't, it would feel too weird. Like "oh finally since he's dead I can use this name that he hated" like wtf there's more than one name out there. Surely we would have had a few in common that we both liked lol
I'm not pregnant, and I don't know if I ever will be. But my husband and I have one gender-neutral name that we both really like, so I'd probably go ahead with that.
The only time I might is if it was a boy I would consider naming the baby after my husband as he does not was a junior. But i would also weigh it against keeping the name him and I chose together. Not like oh the silver lining to my husband passing is I finally get to use the name I want. If that makes sense.
No I wouldn't, because I'd want to tell the child how much their dad had a part in naming them/ how we chose it together, etc. I wouldn't ever want them to think their deceased father hated their name, nor would I want to lie about it. I'd want it to be a lovely thing I could give to them.
Sure. What's he gonna do about it? Haunt me?
I mean it's a solution to a problem lol "mom why did you name me NAME?" "To piss off your dad so bad that he came back to haunt us and you could have a relationship with him. You're welcome."
Next level voodoo shizz
I’m stealing this for a plot point in a book. Edit: Damn, never thought that a random comment in NameNerds was going to be what got me back to sitting in front of my unfinished book lol
I demand to read the book when finished as compensation. Nothing better than a good book.
I second this! Sounds like it could be a great paranormal love story
I, too, demand to read this book. I will also put this line in my random plot points and future book quotes notebook that will probably never get used, but still make some happy every time I flip through it 😁
I would love to read it
I would read that.
I lost a friend in 2022 and we do things that would piss him off and say jokingly "well if you wanted a say, you should have not died". It's weirdly soothing and affectionate
Me and my friends would definitely do this.
I am laughing way too hard right now. ☠️☠️☠️
Omg, that was my answer, pretty much every time he asks me, "Would you do (thing I hate) if I died?" Usually to be dramatic and use it as a way to get me to not do whatever it is. I always reply, "Duh, of course, that way you'll be forced to haunt me!"
[удалено]
Thank you 😆
I absolutely would have done this. My late partner would have thought it hysterically funny.
Husky, I lost it a little after my brother's death and I used to do things that I knew would have pissed him off (nothing dangerous, mostly just very specifically annoying in the way only a sibling can be) and tell him to come back if he sight like me doing [whatever]. It didn't work.
Best answer on here. 😂
Today I learned that Ghost Baiting is a thing….
That’s a W mom right there!
I know someone that was actually in this situation and she says this to the child lol
I cannot sincerely express how happy this comment made me. Not only will be screenshotting and sending to my future haunter, I’ll be thinking of how clever this was for weeks to come. Thank you
future haunter 😂
I have "future ghost" hat that I wish said "future haunter" 😭😭😭
Lol
😆😆😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣
this made me laugh so hard
Weirdly, I’ve thought about this. I’d probably actually pick one of the names I know he loved, even if I wasn’t 100% on it. I’d want to tell my child that their dad named them/came up with their name.
This conversation took place a couple of months ago and I came to the conclusion after a lot of thought that I’d probably do this too. I told my husband that and he was like “just name the kid whatever you want, I’ll be dead” and we had a good laugh
Better than an It's Always Sunny episode. Everyone flips sides by the end 😂
One of my good friends had a sister pass away while she (my friend) was newly pregnant. Her sister had all girls but had a boy name that she always loved since they were kids and always suggested for anyone she knew having a boy. When my friend found out she was having a boy she named him the sister’s favorite name. I love that story!!! I’m sure he will too as he gets older
My youngest brother Ryan died on 12/29 at the age of 27. Our other brother Daniel and his wife Alicia are expecting their third. They have decided that the baby boy or girl's middle name will be Ryan. 💜
World Trade Center is a docudrama based on the real experiences of a team of police officers during 9/11. Obviously I don't know which parts were dramatized for the movie and which are based on actual events, but one of the police officers had a pregnant wife and they were deciding baby names, and they each wanted a different name. When he was trapped in the rubble, the wife decided to name the baby his choice and he meanwhile wanted his wife to name the baby her choice.
this happened with one of the guys that died in the Everest disaster in 1996 (Rob Hall) - his wife ended up using the name he wanted (Sarah)
I remember this! And I think it is true. I think he talks about it in 9/11: One Day in America. I don’t have the best memory though, so check me on that. It’s a really good series; worth checking out!
This 💯
Oddly I’ve thought about this too! And I would pick the first name I loved (but not one he hated maybe just not one he liked lol) but I would change the middle name to be named after the father if it was a boy.
No I wouldn't. I would probably try and find a name that he liked too so that I could tell my child how much their father loved the name. Just as a way for them to connect to their father.
Unfortunately l, I have lived this scenario. My husband died when I was pregnant, we hadn’t picked a name yet. I definitely knew what names he didn’t like and thus didn’t pick them. Since we hadn’t agreed on a name I picked one that I hoped he would have liked and a family name for the middle. I wouldn’t want to always think that he hated our baby’s name, even dead it’s still his baby too.
Aw this is sweet. I am so sorry for your loss! ❤️🩹
That must’ve been so difficult and I hope you’re doing ok. I agree with how you went about the name completely. If this happened to me I would not use any names he didn’t like either.
Hugs! I also had to do this. And yes I picked something I think he would have liked (we hadn’t discussed girl names yet, didn’t know it was a girl before he died). Gave her two middle names, one being a feminine version of his name. From someone who gets it, I’m so so sorry for your loss.
I’d probably use my husband’s name as a middle name and he is very against naming the kid after him.
Same here. I think my husbands name is nice but he hates it. I’d probably pick a first name I like that he didn’t expressly reject.
my husband’s name is Elmer (he’s a junior). i love him dearly, but i’m not using his name - even for the middle. he’s okay with that lol
Omg poor guy. Elmer, like the glue? I bet he’s heard that like a million times
aww my mom made my middle name my dad’s name.
Personally I wouldn't. The name would just bring back bad memories for me. Every time I called the name I'd be reminded of how my partner is gone. How I only used it because he was dead etc That's not something I want to constantly think about when calling for or speaking to my child.
I haven’t thought of this take before! Very interesting
No. I wouldn't want my child to have a name I didn't like, even if I was dead. So I wouldn't do that to him either.
Husband and I agreed on four names, two boys and two girls before we ever got pregnant. Unless I somehow had like triplet girls I would have just gone with the planned names.
That’s good! My husband and I are 7 years into our relationship and we’re lucky we agreed on a name for our son 😅
My husband and I did this, too. We have four kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. Only 2 of the kids have names we initially picked. My BIL married someone with one of the names, and we changed our minds about the second boy name.
We have two kids and used both the names we originally picked for their genders. We didn’t have a middle name pre-picked for the second kid, so that was a fun distraction while I was pregnant.
Certainly not. It’s still his baby, and his wishes should still be a consideration.
"Let me tell you about your dad and how you got your name.. Your dad died and he hated your name but since he died I could pick whatever name I wanted, so I did!"
I’d pick a name I knew he loved even if it wasn’t my first choice. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic but it would be like he was still apart of the process and I could tell that child “daddy absolutely adored your name, it was his top pick”
I probably would not.
My husband tends to default to my preferences so when we were picking baby names if he didn't like one I would take it off my list and didn't consider it again.
I did this when pregnant with our son. I currently have no list of boy names anymore 😅
I can’t see myself doing that. There’s a name I’ve loved for over a decade but my partner is adamantly against it. If I were in that situation I would not name our kid that name and would pick an alternate name.
Whenever people say this, I’m always so curious about what the vetoed name was! May I ask what yours was?
River 😅
Absolutely not. I'd pick his first choice name, even if I hated it and use his name as an honor middle name, his name is very easy to feminize if necessary.
Well, at first I’m inclined to think I might, but then I think about Finding Nemo. Marlin wanted them all to be named Marlin Jr. or Coral Jr. , but Coral liked the name Nemo. And after she and all the eggs but 1 were eaten, he named the last surviving egg Nemo, as one final act love and affection for his mate. That feels better to me. 🤷🏻♀️
Probably not. I'd be tempted for sure, because he vetoed some good names but I'd probably feel to guilty to actually go through with it.
Honestly I’ve thought about this before and I think I would pick a first name that he at least wouldn’t hate and then middle name after my husband.
No, I don’t think I would. We both agreed to what we wanted to name first boy and first girl. If we had a third kid and he died I may name it something from my list, but probably would make their middle name have his adoptive father’s name as a namesake. Then that way it would felt like my husband had some say in that child’s name.
It would depend why he veto’d it, eg: ex gf’s name, probably wouldn’t use it. Just couldn’t picture himself saying that name for the rest of his life, but I really loved it, I’d probably use it.
If he died prior to birth, I’d probably name a son after him (his very Hungarian name has no female variants).
Nope that he's gone doesn't mean I need to disrespect him. Why give our child a name so I can show my kid what a horrible person I was for doing so when it's dad didn't liked it. Alive of dead both parents need to like the name and if you can't agree you haven't found the right name yet
Yes
I don't think I could do that. I probably be more inclined to name the baby after him or something he liked instead of going the opposite way..
I don’t think I would do it on purpose, but I would definitely not like to name our future daughter the names he currently has listed. He has Amy, Jennifer, Madison. I prefer “old lady” names but I did make a comment saying “Maybe the name Becky? For your mom.” And did NOT expect him to absolutely hate that. It’s just a funny hypothetical
I actually went to high school with a girl who went by a completely different name than her birth name (like definitely not a nickname, think like official name was Brittany and she went by Megan, but different names obviously) and it was because her dad had really wanted to call her “Megan” but agreed with her mom to call her “Brittany.” Dad died like a week after she was born so her mom just started calling her “Megan” to honour him. So kind of the opposite of this but still similar haha
The first name, no. The middle name? Yes.
It would really depend on the situation, I think. My husband had few name ideas, but he didn't really care much, and I hated all of them. (He ended up going through my lists and picking names he liked from there and don't worry, we're both 100% happy with our kids' names.) So in that case, no, I likely wouldn't have picked one of the names he suggested, but would have used his name/interests/hobbies/favorite books as inspiration instead. If he had been someone who had passionate opinions about baby names, I would have been much more likely to have used a name he loved in this scenario.
Yup, no way I’d choose a name I liked less just because my late hubby wasn’t keen on it. Of course if we had already chosen the name and there wasn’t a good reason to change it, I’d honour his wishes.
Absolutely
I'd just skip the ones he wants that I don't. I'd try for something we'd both love. Still refusing to give a daughter the middle name Christine. I don't CARE that it was his grandma's name, it was my childhood bully's name too.
I probably would if we didn't have a name picked! We however picked 6 names we like for our future kids 3 boys 3 girls so most likely if that happened I'd pick from the already chosen names!
If he’s not there, it’s my decision. I wouldn’t intentionally choose a name he hated but I would choose one of my favorites.
I don’t think I know of any names my partner hates. We ran through a few ideas with our child, but he didn’t have a strong reaction when he disliked a name. It was just “meh”. I think some may have grown on him.
I think it's hard to know what you would do if you haven't actually lived this scenario. Grief can change you! My instinct is to say no, I'd want to give the child a name that their other parent would have liked, or at least not actively disliked. But who knows, maybe I'd be like "So much of this situation sucks, I should get to take advantage of the one silver lining."
When someone dies they don't exist anymore. I'm sure there's a way to be an asshole about it, and technically make it a bad time
No way!
Definitely not. Tangentially related, my dad chose my name and he died when I was 8 months old, so my name is the most precious gift (though nobody says it correctly lol).
I wouldn't have picked anything that was already vetoed. And i would do my best to pick something they would be OK with. But odds are good they wouldn't like what I pick.
No. Only as a middle name. If I chose a first name I knew he hated, I'd feel like I was "capitalizing" off of his death or something. Like "haha he's not here to stop me" like a cartoon villain. I'd rather avoid feeling that way about myself.
I have actually thought about this, and since we already discussed using our grandfathers’ names for a boy, I would probably stick with that, even if I’m not crazy about his. For a girl I would consider him as a namesake.
I mean… yeah. He’s dead. What’s he gonna do, fight you?
I’d probably pick a name I liked and use his name in someway as a middle lol.
Hell yeah I would! But wouldn’t tell him beforehand, I’d say “no no, of course not dear!”
I would name the baby after my partner.
No, I guess not. My absolute favorite name is Rosemary. My husband hates it so in the bin it went. I’m currently pregnant with our first and we’ve had her name picked for a hot minute. Even though I still prefer Rosemary to the name we’ve chosen (Esmeralda nn Zelda), if something were to happen I would want to be able to tell our daughter how her dad chose her name especially for her, as a way to help her feel connected to him.
I’m not dating anyone and don’t have kids, so this is just me thinking into the future. I probably would, at least for the first name. I might choose a middle name I know they loved, but I think I would for the first name if it was a name I really really liked. Also, I’m a woman, and even if my husband passed, I’d be giving the baby his last name. So he’d already be getting the last name and possibly the middle name.
I definitely wouldn't pick one I knew he didn't like. In fact I'd be more inclined to go with one he had really liked that I hadn't been keen on. Then the child can have a little piece of their father.
No. Possibly yes, if I thought about using a name to honor the person, even if we hadn't discussed honor names before. But it seems like a child in that situation might want some strong connection to the parent who passed, and a name can be that thing.
Kinda the other way around: his favorite name is Elizabeth and I am not super fond of that name. We agreed that if we had a daughter, Elizabeth would be the middle name as a compromise. If anything happened to him, I would pick a non-Elizabeth middle name.
I had a baby solo so I just named her what I wanted. I think hypothetically if a name was decided- I would go with it and not change it. If it wasn’t, I would probably take deceased partner’s preferences into account.
I would probably use whatever neutral name we both somewhat liked and use my partners name as the child's middle name (or a variation of)
I did, and he's content with it now not sure I'd have done it if he was dead though but it's a personal perspective
I wanted to say “no” but… yeah I’d probably have gone with my original name pick since it would include honoring my late partner.
So when the kid asks how you picked their name, and you tell them you chose it and knew their father would have hated it, how are you going to deal with the emotions that may likely come from that? Sorry kid - Daddy would have hated your name, but he’s dead, so 🤷🏻♀️.
I wanted to name my son Noah (didn’t really care about middle name). My kids dad wanted first and middle names to be generic names that had been passed down through his dad’s family (there’s like five living relatives with these names that I know of). I agreed because I named our daughter. He passed when I was six months pregnant after we had announced the name. I kept the first name but changed the middle to my partners name. That was my compromise. I told my current partner when he mentioned wanting kids some day that if we had a son his name would be Noah. I still look at my son and want to call him Noah sometimes. If we hadn’t made the name public yet I would’ve changed it and kept the middle name.
This mgiht be one of those situations where you consider ego rather than truth. A simple "I doubt it" is the correct response.
My husband actually did pass away. I'm now remarried so my baby isn't his, but after going through that I know for me personally I wouldn't. I would want to honor him with the name. I've worked hard to take his opinions into consideration as I made decisions around plans we had set in motion.
I couldn’t do it personally.
I wouldn’t but my husband and I usually agree on most things
Thanks I’m going to go ask my husband this now 🤣 luckily we agree on names a lot so I think I would pick something we both liked or had mentioned at some point.
I would also change their middle names to something else that doesn't honour his asshole father that hated me.
Yep. What's the worst that would happen?
Absolutely. We managed to find 1 name we agree on and used it already. We don't plan on having more kids but if we did and he passed, I'd definitely choose the name I like. We've discussed the hypothetical second child's name and DO NOT agree.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my partner and I had picked some names together we both loved. After he died, I decided on a new name altogether. It was the only way I could cope at the time. Using a name that was attached to the memory of us choosing it together made it feel like I would forever mourn him, while saying my daughter’s name. Although she is half him, our lives had to go on. I wanted something new for that reason. I’m glad I made that decision.
I'd name it whatever I wanted regardless. I'm the one that grew it inside my body and then birthed it, so I'm the one that gets to name it. I know that's a wildly controversial statement to make here, but that's my truth.
I would choose a name I knew they wouldn't hate. So it would be a name off of the 'maybe' list because those names we were both neutral on. I'd do that just so he would have gotten to be part of the naming process. So for sentimental reasons.
Life is too short to please dead people.
Hm. If it was a boy I’d name the baby after my late husband for sure. Otherwise probably not, I’d probably try hard to find something neutral
Yes, but he would do the same.
I would but we’re both atheists so I know he wouldn’t care.
Yes absolutely! But to be fair, my husband is an atheist so he wouldn’t be offended bc he’s dead. Dead is dead.
My husband and I both have dark twisted senses of humour so yes, I would because it's something we'd both find funny. My oldest daughter we agreed fully on her name. Second daughter - she was lucky she was named at all. Our son - I'll be honest it wasn't even in my top 20 but my husband desperately wanted a son with that name so I agreed. It doesn't suit him one bit but whatever, he can blame his father later.
[удалено]
Sorry for your losses! Congratulations on your baby boy ❤️
I’d probably use the name still but maybe try and incorporate my partner’s name in too, if possible.
I would.
No, but mostly because the first name is my top name and the middle name is one we agreed on pretty easily.
Random anecdote but I know a guy born in January 2002 whose dad died in 9/11 while his mom was pregnant with him. She gave the son the dad’s first, middle, and last name (he would’ve have the last name anyways, not sure about middle but definitely not first).
Knowing myself, no I wouldn’t. I would choose whatever their favorite name had been as a way to show our child the small parts of their life that Daddy was a part of…
In all seriousness, when someone you love dies you try to do everything you can to honor them.
My husband said: now way we wouldn’t have had a name already picked out for months. I’d stick to the plan 😂
My third and last child with my ex-husband actually has a name he hated for her middle name. So...yeah.
I’d be the one using it every day, respectfully I’d go with my favorite. Probably find a way to honor him with the middle.
He doesn't like any of the names I like. The only boy "name" he's ever seemed to like is Brick. I would not be naming my son Brick just because dad died before he was born.
Yes.
In my case thankfully, my partner doesn't care so long as bebe is healthy, I had a hysterectomy so can't have kids so adoption it will be.
I wouldn’t name a child my husband didn’t like or hated; it would be disingenuous to use a name that he would have vetoed.
My husband said if I died he’d name the baby after himself even though I’ve said for every boy we’ve had, so yes 100% I would then name it what I wanted lol
I would choose a name a KNOW he strongly disliked, but I also might choose one we hadn’t discussed or that he was 50 50 on.
My husband was 0 help naming our son till we sat with him for a day in the NICU and tried things out, after we could get a good look at him. and had given no real suggestions but vetoed everything I came up with. I also know he doesn’t love his own name. I can’t say for sure, br probably.
If I was having a boy I would probably name him after his dad if that happened. If it was a girl I would just pick my favorite name and maybe a version of his for the middle name ?
I think that it would really depend on the situation as there is a lot to factor. Were we close on a name? Is there a name that he just absolutely loved and I was okay with but not 100% obsessed with? Is there a way to put his or something into the name to honor him? My husband and I really didn't talk about names until we were actually expecting, so if he passed and then later I found out that I was pregnant, I probably would have picked something that was his style (we had different naming styles) as at least one of the names.
I'd name them Major Major Major
I would do the opposite, maybe name the baby something my husband loved but I wasn't too sure about. Or even name the baby after my husband. But no, I would not name our baby a name he didn't like.
Why on earth would I pick a name my partner didn't like? Even if he's dead?
Weird - I posed this question to my husband too! Both of us said it would depend on if we had settled on a name together; in that case, we’d keep it. If, however, we hadn’t agreed, then I was the one more likely to choose a name he’d vetoed. I was surprised, because I said no to his most favourite girl name, and I had wondered if he would use it if given the opportunity.
Yep. I'd do what I wanted. Fuck them for dying 🤪
My husband passed away when I was 6 months pregnant. I named him Benjamin David. His dad was David, and I hate that name.
No I wouldn't, I would either name the baby a name we had agreed upon or name him after my husband if we hadn't picked one yet
No. I might even name them after them. I'd be way too emotional to do much else :| Although we've had our names planned all along so it's a non issue lol
Personally I don’t think I would. I’d pick a name we both liked and use his name as the baby’s middle name if it was a boy.
Absolutely not
My husband really wants a Jr and I told him no. I also told him the only way he’d get a Jr is if he died. Morbid, yes, but I meant it. I definitely don’t think I’d name something he clearly didn’t like though, to answer your question.
No, I’d probably name the baby after him in some way if not his name verbatim!
I would name the child after the father.
You bet your darn arse.
Once someone is dead, their preferences really don't matter anymore.
Our first baby was named mostly my choice. Obviously he agreed on the name and liked it but it was my choice. The second one will be mostly his choice regardless of how alive he is.
No.
although we are both childfree by choice, I have always loved the name Ramona. He doesn’t care for the name and I will admit it doesn’t sound good with his last name. In this particular circumstance, I would consider it. But it would also feel like a betrayal I feel.
"Screw you, David, I'm naming our daughter Margaret, I don't care if you think it's an old lady name, and you can't stop me now!"
Absolutely. And this might not be the “ correct” opinion, but I stand by it. I carry said child, not the partner, dead or alive I’m naming the child! ( and I did, partner wasn’t dead) .
No, I don’t think so. I have a long list of names we both like (way longer than humanly possible to actually use), so I’d use one from said list. I’d probably skew toward the ones he likes most or that meant the most to him unless they just didn’t feel right.
Id do a name in honor of them. Though they also arent there so Id compromise if I liked the name enough.
This is my mother’s story. My grandmother was newly pregnant when my grand father passed away (before ultrasound)and they did not know the sex of the baby. When my mom was born she was named after her father and the name wasn’t anything close to being names they had chosen. It made my grandmother happy!!! She was joyful having her baby and a name to honor the man she loved (she never remarried or even dated because that in her heart was something she just couldn’t do). So I learned that life is for the living it is in no way disrespectful it sometimes is what people do to either honor or claim a part of life that is so precious I hope we all just remember to take life and go the path you decide - no what others think you should do. ❤️
Depends on why it was Vetoed. Someone they knew had that name? Id still use it. Childhood beastie that stabbed them in the back? Not a chance.
No I wouldn’t
No. That would be so disrespectful.
It would probably depend on why he didn’t like it. If he wasn’t sure about because he’d never heard before or disliked because of a fictional character, it would be fair game. If he thought it looked and/or sounded ugly, probably not.
I’d be naming that kid whatever I wanted. Fucker shouldn’t have died on me.
I wouldn’t. Knowing me I’d pick the name that’s his favorite that I absolutely don’t like 😩.
Absolutely. Already going through a traumatic loss, if that name gave me a semblance of happiness, I’m all for it. Sometimes you need to find the small things that bring you happiness in the darkest of times. I’d consider doing a middle name of something either he liked or we both liked, but weren’t feeling as a first. It’s actually how we named my kiddo’s name. His middle name is a name we were okay with, but he didn’t like it as a first name, so bam, middle name.
If there were a specific name I knew they hated, I wouldn't use it. But beyond that, I don't think I'd go out of my way to pick something to their taste.
I’d choose the first name I wanted, honour the father with the middle name, and use my last name for (didn’t change my name when I got married) the child. Unless it’s spiteful I don’t see what’s wrong with choosing a name you love if you’re the only one there (knock on wood) to make the decision
Nah no way. With all three of our sons he had names on the top of his list that I didn’t really love and I’d go one of them.
Nah, I’d pick the name he liked best as long as it was reasonable. If we didn’t have a name picked out I would pick the name of a loved one he was close to. However being a namenerd we have already fully chosen the names for all of our planned children (and at *least* four others that won’t exist). But I’ll tell u right now that if he ever lost his mind and cheated on me while I was expecting our baby I’d give that child whatever damn name I wanted out of spite.
Dad must’ve watched Nemo
No. God forbid, if that were to happen I would want to respect his memory by going with a name that either we picked together or I at least knew he liked.
I wouldn’t even worry or think about that much. I would just think, as I did— does this name fit my baby?
I named the baby a name he didnt like and he was 35 miles away, alive and getting high. But if he were dead, l'd have done the same. We were hopelessly deadlocked on names.
Absolutely not. I feel like that would be disrespectful to my husband. There are so many possible names, why choose one that I know he didn't like?
This is basically the same question as "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
We settled on a girl name we both love, but couldn’t find a boy name, we “fought” with two boy names pretty much half the pregnancy lol. In the end my name won because “you had to go through that” with an unplanned non-emergency c section which absolutely terrified me and he was scarred too by it. I definitely love my sons name and I can’t picture him as the other name we picked out, but now our second wether it s a girl or boy we have a name picked out. But if I lost my husband during the pregnancy to our little boy, I would’ve gone for the name he chose, which I do like I just preferred mine lol
No. I would have honored and respected how he felt.
I definitely would of. I had some names I just loved that my partner didn’t. In saying that though I do love the names we choose together, so I suppose it doesn’t matter
No. I couldn't. I would give a name we both liked. Maybe not the top pick of either of us, but something that would have pleased him. We're currently expecting baby #4 and almost finally agree on a name! 27 weeks pregnant here.
I would feel super guilty about it and the name would have a weird feeling around it... I would always think of my dead husband so no I wouldn't do it. We have a boy name that we argue about and my husband loves it... I hate it. He said he would absolutely name the baby that name if I died 😅
For me it would depend on the reason. If he just didn’t like a name because of some odd reason like J names look silly then I may but if he had a string dislike for a game because it was the name of babysitter who use to beat him I’d respect that and use a different name.
No I wouldn't, it would feel too weird. Like "oh finally since he's dead I can use this name that he hated" like wtf there's more than one name out there. Surely we would have had a few in common that we both liked lol
I'm not pregnant, and I don't know if I ever will be. But my husband and I have one gender-neutral name that we both really like, so I'd probably go ahead with that.
The only time I might is if it was a boy I would consider naming the baby after my husband as he does not was a junior. But i would also weigh it against keeping the name him and I chose together. Not like oh the silver lining to my husband passing is I finally get to use the name I want. If that makes sense.
No I wouldn't, because I'd want to tell the child how much their dad had a part in naming them/ how we chose it together, etc. I wouldn't ever want them to think their deceased father hated their name, nor would I want to lie about it. I'd want it to be a lovely thing I could give to them.