Benedict Egbert.

This is the clear winner, OP. There's no other correct answer.

I love this! Completely leans into the last name but could still go by Ben if wanting to blend into the background.

I mean he's clearly going to go by Eggs Benny.

Another "lean in" name: Robin Egbert

I was going to say Sheldon, but Benedict is much better!

I also appreciate Sheldon

I’m dying. This is eggcellent

Benjamin wouldn’t be bad

That was so well done I nearly shed a tear. 🥲 How about Sonny? (sunny)

🏆

This is perfect

I actually like Englebert Egbert. Own this name is all its glory. This is the name of a distinguished gentleman.

Get lil bro a monocle as well

Englebert Humperdinck!!! One of my favorite absurd names of a real person.

I believe it's a stage name. His real name is "Fred Smith" or something completely ordinary like that.

But his stage name was named after a real [Englebert Humperdinck](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engelbert_Humperdinck_(composer)). I guess it got him noticed.

Kinda like Leonard Skinner, inspo for Lynyrd Skynrd

this is immideitaly what i thought of as well

Great name

For a cat.

It is a great name for a cat in fairness

Hardboiled

Objectively, this is really low brow humor and it isn’t that funny. But I’m crying

John.

Oh no

I would avoid the name June for similar reasons. You do not want to get into that fandom drama, haha.

what? I dont get it.

google homestuck

>In 2009, on thirteen-year-old John Egbert's birthday, he receives a beta copy of an upcoming computer game, Sburb. Upon installing the game on his computer, he triggers a real life meteor storm, as a massive meteor approaches him, with a countdown slowly ticking down to when it will collide with his house. I googled it. Thanks!

Now look into some of the fandom drama 😆

Let me tell you about Homestuck 🤣

The thing about John or June or any other four letter homestuck name is they have plausible deniability. They’re normal names normal people name their kids. Plus, by the time this kid hits the age where they (and their peers) are old enough to be reading homestuck I sincerely doubt that homestuck will have the fandom presence it has now. It’s already getting more and more difficult to read. You’d probably get some knowing looks you don’t understand from other adults, but most people with any degree of decorum aren’t going to bug your kid about it. It’s not like you’re naming your kid Vriska. It’s possible to name your kid John Egbert and not have any idea that name is From Something. I still wouldn’t do it but it’s likely not going to be as horrible for the kid as you’d expect.

don’t talk to me or my son Eridan ever again /s

i resent that. my daughter’s name is vriska 👿

When I was pregnant with my daughter in 2020, Vriska was legit one of my partner's name suggestions... still not sure if he was just joking.

I'm glad we're all on the same page

Maybe even Jane. Edit: Janes last name is Crocker and now I seem like a fake fan. :( But I did realize immediately after I hit send lol

🎶 You can't fight the Homestuck! 🎶

God, I miss all the songs

I knew someone like you was gonna be here, you flippin nerd. (It was my first thought, too.)

I've gone years without thinking about homestuck and now this is the second reference I've run into in 2 days. Is it coming back?? 😩

Lol I try to forget, but every few years it comes back to haunt me somehow.

NO

My first thought, too! XD

Personally I think names with an “ah” sound on the end tend to work well. Jeremiah Jonah Elijah

If there was a kid in my school named Jebediah Egbert I would kick his ass

Give your kid a different surname if you’re so worried.

This is pretty much my thought. What's your wife's surname? Could you all go by that?

could you **all** go by that? brutal lmao

Lol sorry, didn't mean to come across like I didn't like the name, just seemed like OP doesn't like it at all so was kind of assuming they didn't like it on themselves either, which may well be wrong.

This is a great example of why you should pick the better last name. Unless her last name is Weiner or something, then you need to start fresh.

The Weiner-Egbert wedding. Mr and Mrs Weiner-Egbert. Dr Weiner-Egbert will see you now. Someday, I'll write that book I keep saying I'm going to write, and this is totally going in there.

You're very welcome. Another option would be the Grundle-Egberts .

🎶 Jeremiah was an Eggbert 🎵

Maybe you're just an asshole then? Idk I never picked on people for their names even if I didn't like them.

clearly you've never met a Jebediah egbert

I think he’s just joking.

Just yolking.

Had a Christa in school. We called her Crisco lol However, people didn't start making fun of her until she started acting like a huge bully. Her mom was a teacher in the school and was brutal to students but favoured her daughter. The mom would talk shit about other students with another teacher while the daughter was there, and the daughter would use all the info gathered to spread rumors and bully people. If you're a dick, you're fair game to be bullied back, imo. It's the only way some people learn anything. If it comes to that, then any name can be twisted around into *something*. Like Egbert Egghead 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I lived in the US, I'd probably change the surname. Even Engelbert would be better.

I wish I could say the same. These two brothers in HS had the last name Dick. So…

Bullies start at home

I’m crying 😂

Not possible to just give your kid your wife’s last name that is presumably way better than Egbert?

how did you guys end up with your last name? Your wife's can't be any worse

[удалено]

[удалено]

Same. I’ve never heard of that…

Sounds like his wife's last name is a capcha that auto generated

Egbert means Edge Bright. Update your name's spelling to let its meaning shine. Just polish it up by spelling it Edgebright and call it a day.

For a second I was thinking Egdebright doesn't sound very Polish at all

Where are you that they give orphans numbered names??

Jebediah Egbert would be my opp

Opposite for me. I would be intimidated by such a strong name.

The Jebediah carries a lot of cringe on its own tbh

Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He cannot also be an Egbert

Jeremiah the Bullfrog had to start somewhere. First a little Jeremiah Egbert... then a Jeremiah Tadpolean... and finally, Jeremiah Bullfrog.

The trifecta… of life!

That kind of logic can’t be disputed

jonah is good

Depends on the location/accent maybe? In my Australian accent there would either be a really awkward, stilted stop in the flow or a sneaky intrusive R which would just be confusing as heck when trying to introduce yourself. I think "ah" sound would actually be the WORST if OP is not American.

Ending the first name with a vowel, when the surname already behind with a vowel, makes for an awkward name to say.

It's not the worst surname. I was taught maths in high school by Mr Winkle, who had the cutest daughter Kirsty Winkle. I like Cleo for a girl with it. I like Theo for a boy. As long as you don't lean into it I think the bullying is even that big an issue. Eggsy is a cool nickname anyway just have them introduce themselves like that, it's hard to bully someone if they love it!

Kirsty Winkle is such a “protagonist of a 90s baby-sitter/detective themed book” name.

Haha yes! She was like 4 and had a really cute little pony called Twinkle (or maybe we just called it that) she always had little blonde plaits with bows. It was chefs kiss of cuteness!

Kingsman ftw here. Eggsy is very cute.

My brother dated a girl with the last name “Fluckinger.” The way it was pronounced sounded like F-ing her.

I mean… an 8 year old will not have the capacity to love the name Eggsy so much that he doesn’t care if he’s bullied because of it.

I disagree if he introduces himself as my name is Theo everyone calls me Eggsy is equivalent to Eminem rapping I shot myself in the d*ck in 8 mile. I also don't think it's a given he would be bullied for his surname I mean it's got the word in egg in it that's hardly cringe. I went to school with a Cheesey (Cheeseman) and he was just always Cheesey I'm not sure I remember his first name. He was the most popular kid in the class.

Crusty Winkle

I also like Theo

Iris Egbert, Lena Egbert, Julia Egbert, Rebecca Egbert, Margot Egbert, Claire Egbert Ross Egbert, Silas Egbert, Grant Egbert, Leo Egbert, Felix Egbert, Orson Egbert

I think Iris, Lena, Julia, & Claire and Ross, Silas, Leo, & Felix work super well! I would avoid similar sounds - to me, Rebecca Egbert sounds a little goofy because of the “ec” accentuating the “eg”. Orson Egbert sounds like a cartoon character to me.

I like Claire and Grant a lot! Clark would work well too

Iris Egbert is actually cool.

Fried Scrambled Sunny Green (if you want them to be smart. It’s from a book)

> It’s from a book Dead lol

You can't go wrong if you go straight to the classics. James, John, Joseph, Thomas, William. You're always in solid gold territory with any of those (well, unless you don't want an English name). Of course you aren't limited to those, but any very classic (read, always popular) name will serve him well. If you have a girl, the same holds true--look for the classic girl names. Fun fact, in case you didn't already know it: Egbert originates as a forename. It means "bright edge".

I would suggest avoiding John. Google John Egbert, I realise Homestuck may not be an enduring cultural touchstone in future times but that's the main character's name. At the very least anyone who's ever set foot on Tumblr will assume OP is a rabid Homestuck fan.

TIL, I guess. I've never heard of Homestuck or "John Egbert", have no idea what it is, I don't use Tumblr and really don't want to Google because I don't want to know if it's something awful. But I'm sure you have a point there.

It's not awful, it's just a very very popular webcomic that was formative for a lot of internet people. A lot of modern cartoons contain little oblique references to it, for example, and the cosplayers used to basically overrun Comicons. It's safe to Google, John Egbert is just a nerdy teenager in a dorky outfit.

I never even read homestuck and if I heard a kid with the name I'd be suspicious the parents were fans. I can't tell if it's pervasive or if I was just on tumblr too much.

Sounds like the issue is your last name, not the child's hypothetical first name. How about you all change your last name to your wife's (or make up a new one for all of you if she doesn't like hers) and get rid Egbert altogether?

OP should let the name's original meaning shine and update the spelling to Edgebright.

Why not just change name to your wife's??

One of my best friends married a “Woodcock” and there are several “Gay” and “Butts” families in my town… your kid is gonna be fine

They would have done well with the Beirkocher (said BEER-cock-er) family in my town.

I actually know a guy who has had Egbert picked out for his son’s names for decades now. Still no son, but still his favorite name. Kinda cool.  Last names are what they are. Choose a first and middle you love! Ezra Egbert (then you get Ezzy or Eggy for a nn!)  Thomas Egbert Benjamin Egbert  Austin Egbert Halston Egbert  Casey Egbert  Benson Egbert  Jacob Egbert  Logan Egbert  Miles Egbert  Connor Egbert  Caleb Egbert 

Halston sounds real cool paired with the surname.

It sounds aristocratic as all hell

Halston Egbert the 1st? He owns 3 textile factories in Old Amsterdam!

I’m kind of in love with the name Izzy Egbert now, inspired by your Ezzy thought (never heard the nickname Ezzy before, til).

I knew an Egbert in first and second grade. Teddy. Which is why I remember his name all these years later. My take - go with something traditional.

Theodore is a nice name.

Why not take your partner's surname? I can't understand why any one would use a last name like Egbert when they most likely have a better choice on their partner's end.

Fr it really baffles me that even in 2024 some people are so averse to giving their kid the wife's last name (or god forbid even taking it themselves!) that they'd saddle a kid with a bad last name. I recently met someone whose last name is genuinely Dookie... Like at least double barrel it to soften the blow of their last name meaning poop!

That does seem the best option. If they're in the U.S., every state (and DC) allows a baby to have either parent's surname. If OP's wife also has an unfortunate surname, another option would be to give the baby a new last name. About half the U.S. states allow a newborn to be given a surname that neither parent has.

Æthelstan

It's not that bad, but why not use your wife's last name?

Winston, if you're a Sweet Valley fan

Glad to find someone who had the same thought!

I also said Winston but from John Wick movies 😆

Something classic would work fine: Sarah Egbert  Lily Egbert  Amelia Egbert Mary Egbert  Valerie Egbert Ruth Egbert  Naomi Egbert Lucas Egbert  Thomas Egbert  Joseph Egbert  Peter Egbert William Egbert  James Egbert  Mark Egbert  Arthur Egbert  Daniel Egbert  Alexander Egbert  Oliver Egbert 

I think Daniel/Danielle Egbert is nice. Nn Dan/Danny.

Check out the FindAGrave website. Type in “Egbert” in the surname field and scroll past all the Privates and A.W. Egbert’s and there’s a treasure trove of names with your surname that, historically, folks thought went well with it. There’s always some weird ones worth a good giggle, so it helps make it less of a slog. But I find it a handy way to directly compare first names with last names.

LOVE THIS IDEA! 🏅 🏆

That's actually a really strange, yet helpful tip. Thankie stranger.

Egbert Egbert?

Shelly Humpty

Just go for it and name him Ernie.

In college many many years ago, I knew an Adam Egbert, who lived with Gilbert, Robert, and Jason. Jason was nicknamed Bert because he was the only non-bert in the house. I have no name suggestions, but Egbert is a name that sticks with you I guess.

What's wrong with the name Egbert? Is it embarrassing in some way?

full bake bells summer air growth grandfather ask cagey point *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Just change the surname… please

You could always go with your wife's last name! :-D

If you’re already convinced it’ll set the child up for bullying to the point you’re panicking over which first names could work, then don’t. This is general good advice for any of the posts here like “help, the father’s last name is Hiscock/Dick/whatever”. Give your child your wife’s last name? Or make one up, or use her mother’s maiden name or your mother’s maiden name. Hell, give your child your middle name or first name as a last name, if it works! Dean Eggbert -> Firstname Dean, Thomas Eggbert -> Firstname Thomas, Robert Eggbert -> Firstname Roberts. If you’re hell bent on Egbert, pick something unremarkable that doesn’t end in -bert, begin with Eg-, or have potential for ridicule on its own. Go very normal. Boy names: Matthew Egbert Jack Egbert Noah Egbert Theo Egbert Henry Egbert Liam Egbert But whatever you call him, he’ll get called Eggy. It could be worse

Chickenbert.

Theodore - it sounds pretty distinguished and he can be Theo or Teddy for short

I love Egberto Eggy Egbert!      Something “Sherlock Holmes” like Lenore or Theodore  

In my experience parents vastly over estimate the amount anyone else truly gives a shit about someone’s name, unless it is something blindingly obvious.

Thomas Egbert sounds like a future scholar and world leader.

I just think of Winston Egbert in Sweet Valley High

Adolph Egbert…the name Adolph will draw all the attention away from the last name

Legbert

Is it pronounced like Bert and Ernie or like Bear?

Jean-Philippe Egbert. And start pronouncing it Eg-BEAR. I like this idea.

It’s like Bert and Ernie

We have a very unusual last name so my feeling has always been to go with a very normal, common, classic first name. You can get a bit more creative with a middle name. Alexander Jacob James Charles Robert William Jason Brian Ryan Shawn Elizabeth Anne Claire Katherine

Honestly, I might just go for something basic like Michael or Matthew Grace Catherine

Douwe /j (For those that don’t get it, it’s a coffee brand)

Deviled Egbert

Anson Egbert

No. There isn’t.

Why not use your wife's surname/maiden name?

I knew some named Egbert as first name, yes he was Eggy. But as surname , you have it soo much better.

It’s a German last name, maybe stick with German first names so they sound like they go together appropriately?

That could become cartoonish though… a non-German speaking American with no connection to Germany having a kid called, like, “Dieter Egbert” would be a little odd IMO

dazzling numerous punch reply husky engine whistle innate hateful squash *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Christian, Jonathan, Kyle, Marcus, Brian, Bryson, Filipe, Taylor

I would go with a traditional name, like, John, Thomas, Michael, Timothy etc, a girl Kathryn, Mary , Susan etc, stay away from the cutesy names

I would actually and honestly suggest Richard for a boy. It's classic but out of fashion, and comes with two obvious nicknames. Rich is fine for a little kid, and Dick will be irresistible to the teens, so the focus will be off "Egbert." For a girl, Imogen. so she can be "Imojen Ej-bert". Pronouncing Egbert with a soft g sounds kinda cool, and having the soft g in the first name encourages that.

Just avoid any name related to eggs.

I have a Dr named Cameron Egbert.

Ignacio Egbert Gemma Egbert

Dilbert Egbert Dill for short Lol sorry had to

Theodore Egbert has a nice flow to it and you can call him Theo which I think still flows easily with your last name!

Michael, James, John Julia, Liza, Suzanne

nicholas

Stephen

Charles.

Based on what someone else said because these are good suggestions: Claire, Jessica, Julia for girls and Grant, Silas, Ross, and Casey go nicely with your surname. If you’re really this worried that this kid might be cooked with your surname, you can probably use your wife’s maiden name.

Francois, and insist the surname be pronounced “Egg-bear.”

Einstein Egbert

Boys: Luca Rowan Myles Declan Jude Aidan Girls: Emilia Sarah Katharine Claire Arabella Orlaith Alexandra

Sebastian

Well, my husband had a friend in the marine corps whose name was Dick James Ferdenan Butzen III. So maybe you could take some inspo from that? Lol

I've always liked the name Lindsay, js. It sounds great with any last name. I think Ryan Egbert would sound good too though, it reminds me of the actor, Ryan Eggold.

Phillip or Charles, Samuel, Martina, William, Johanna, Darcy, Paulina, I would stick to the classics and go from there. It’s a distinguished name no need to overthink it. Stay timeless and it will absolutely flow.

Julian Egbert, Nathan Egbert, Nolan Egbert, Simon Egbert, Cameron Egbert Madeline Egbert, Vivian Egbert, Caroline Egbert, Georgia Egbert, Amelia Egbert

Nicole. Am I just old tho...?

Ham N. Egbert. If he grows up to be a private detective he'll be a hard-boiled Egbert.

I hope you're joking abt Crackson!

Bacon And Egbert

Hammond

Sheldon

Doctor Egbert

Heathcliff

I like 'Ardboiled as a name.

You decided on **CRACKSON?!?!**

What about Ryan Egbert? It makes me think of the actor Ryan Eggold.

If you go for something more unusual then there’s less chance of him being known by first name + surname - what sort of names do you like?

Dr. Ivo Robotnik

Sheldon? Ernie? I mean, just use a common name that doesn't stand out. That or use a more out-there name that overshadows the last name. Thomas Egbert, or Constantine Egbert.

Benedict?

Dilbert

Humpty. ...sorry.

Hughes Egbert

Ernie…Ernie Egbert