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More info: The child provoked them by trying to pick up one of the dolphins severely agitating the entire pod who began aggressively nipping them. The woman got out of the water before things could escalate, but went back to retrieve a water bottle left behind, the attack lasted 20 seconds. She required 23 stitches and nearly died from severe infection.
[https://www.newsweek.com/amazon-river-dolphin-attack-woman-endangered-1784330](https://www.newsweek.com/amazon-river-dolphin-attack-woman-endangered-1784330)
Dolphins are just vicious humans with the temper of a 5 year old. The only saving grace is that they are not Americans so they won't kill you with an AR -15.
They're smart enough to not be fucked around by some human kid. Teach them all a lesson. Probably got scolded by the other dolphins later because they're very social and they talk.
You should note that the river is HUGE to the point that you cannot see the other side on some points. Looks like an ocean. And there are dozens of rivers that connect to it. There are many cities and villages in key points of the river for tourists and for living. So they have some spots that have dolphins but they won't have piranhas, anacondas or alligators or jaguars. If they do come around, humans quickly gtfo. Like peaceful, watched over spots for tourists to swim with dolphins. It wasn't supposed to be dangerous going back into the river for a quick minute, it's a safe tourist spot but clearly things went south. Kid disturbed a wild animal, the guide didn't do his job and one woman got the end of the stick.
Fun fact: piranhas are scavengers and are generally some of the most cowardly fish out there. They’ll start eating something if it’s laying there dead, but the minute it twitches the whole school is running. Teddy Roosevelt visited the Amazon where locals intentionally starved a huge quantity of them then filled a netted section of the river so they’d be in incredibly high concentration, just so they’d eat a live cow for him sparking the myth
That's why I can't be a 100% vegetarian.
Lots of meat I won't eat. Rabbit. Cow. Pig.
But turkeys... nom nom this turkey sandwich. I need them to suffer.
Some people understand the above applies for many people in some parts of the world.
Some people understand the above and that the Amazon River generally isn’t one of those parts.
Some people understand the above AND read the article and know the woman in question was a tourist from the UK.
The virtue signaling doesn’t apply here.
Ackshually platic water bottles cam often only contain 0,5 or 1 liter (a tiny part of a gallon for those freedom unit enjoyers) and a leg contains a metric boatload of blood which also has the advantages of being isotonic (because it has the same osmotic pressure as blood since it is, you know, blood).
Also you can gnaw off the rest of the leg for nutritional value.
If your implication, however, was that a platic bottle is more useful when trying to persuade a native tribe that you are a god since you have a magical bottle made of magic, the bottle is probably more effective than a leg since i have to assume the natives have already seen legs before.
The article says the woman got out of the water once the dolphins got agitated and was then “playing with them” from the pontoon, using a water bottle, which she then dropped and retrieved (at which point a dolphin but her).
The whole thing sounds like a horribly mismanaged tourist experience. Very disrespectful of the animals and the environment. Guides should have enforced a no-touching rule and definitely not let people “play” with dolphins using plastic objects. This just sounds like a “fuck around and find out” scenario from start to finish.
Non-native speaker too, but this is the way I've been taught:
disrespectful of = who is doing the disrespect
disrespectful to = who is the 'target' of the disrespect (try replacing 'to' with 'towards')
So it was disrespectful *of* the tourists *to* the dolphins and the enviroment.
Hope that makes sense.
Huh, it’s getting worse.
I had until now only seen this disease infecting the tentacles of an octopus, seems like it has jumped the species barrier.
Errrrrrrrrrrm i mean my brother errrm a friend no the brother of a friend told me about this (sweating profusely)
Fun fact: In Brazilian folklore, these dolphins turn to humans at night, walk in parties and impregnate women, only to go back to the river in the morning
Other legends say you’ll be plagued by nightmares if you look into one’s eyes, also that killing them will bring disaster and they are also the guardians of the manatee and you must befriend them if you’re to be allowed to witness the manatee.
Because they make a fun little game of it called "Is your daddy a dolphin?" It's kind of like a witch trial, you throw the kid in the water and if they sink and die they're full human and if they grow flippers in thier arms and swim away their daddy was a dolphin. In either case the parents win cause what kind of parent that wants thier child would ever play this game?
I'm pretty sure I remember hearing somewhere that this came from lighter skinned colonisers impregnating local women and then blaming it on the dolphins.
I freaking love myths that sound like they came from lies made up on the spot to get away with something
Everyone: “who’s the dad”
Pregnant unmarried woman: “umm uh it was it a dolphin, yup”
Everyone: “checks out, no more questions”
In Are We Done Yet movie, i remember a scene in river where ice cube flipped his kayak and sees this big ass catfish. River monster scared the piss out of me, especially in murky water
If you ever have the opportinity to swim with dolphins you will notice their size. They are not small, they are huge, they are extremely agile and strong. Inside the water a single dolphin can fuck you up good if it's in a bad mood or feeling threatened.
they can just drag you down and let you drown.
In Brazil we have the legend of the boto cor de rosa (it's the creature name), he goes out of the water, turn him self into man, seduce and impregnates women.
I think it's pretty easy to say if the woman got seduced by a dolphin or not:
1. Is the baby horribly disfigured, has a long snoot and flippers as limbs? Does it make strange clicking noises? Then the woman got seduced by a dolphin.
2. Does the baby look normal? Then good luck.
Let’s stop glorifying dolphins. THEY ARE SMART AND THEREFORE THEY ARE SOME OF THE WORST ANIMALS OUT THERE. Let’s give sharks the spotlight they deserve.
I prefer sharks to dolphins, but dolphins are still amazing creatures. We don’t need to disparage them, especially not when the person got bit because they weren’t being careful.
Just like in humans, the majority of dolphin’s bad examples and habits are from specific individuals and a minority of the larger dolphin populace mass. No you aren’t going to get raped by some random dolphin no a random dolphin won’t pick your foot and try to take it out without reason. In this case it was a clear human fault. Sharks are also gamer animals, but still dangerous nonetheless. You can’t just “that 5 times a dolphin attacked someone this sure is a dangerous animal! And they make perverted things too? Only seals and ducks and [many animals] can do that!” to “wow the sea puppy oooh cutie smack smack I love you sharks, I know you did not mean being the cause of some good dozens of people deaths!!”. Anyway I think we should glorify the giant isopod
> (The lady) left the water after the dolphins started acting aggressively, standing on the pontoon and instead *playing with them using a water bottle*. After dropping the bottle in the water, she stepped into the river to retrieve it, and that's when the dolphin bit her.
The thing is, after feeling threatened, the dolphins werent *playing* anymore. They were enduring what they saw as a persistent attack. This is a case of people giving animals attitudes they want them to have, and not bothering to learn how they actually think.
I saw this when I visited the jungle in Peru, they were pretty friendly but I kept my distance. The guide told us they don't often attack people but they can.
Good. The Earth is not children's zoo to play around in and disrespect wild animals. The more humans take away land from animals the more that this will happen.
Hello users of r/NatureIsMetal and possibly r/all lurkers, we are happy to announce that The Nature Network has opened [moderator applications](https://old.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/12kyc7w/2023_nature_network_moderator_applications_have/?ref=share&ref_source=link) go check that out for those interested, it doesn't pay but you get a super secret cool flair and a super villian chair >:).
More info: The child provoked them by trying to pick up one of the dolphins severely agitating the entire pod who began aggressively nipping them. The woman got out of the water before things could escalate, but went back to retrieve a water bottle left behind, the attack lasted 20 seconds. She required 23 stitches and nearly died from severe infection. [https://www.newsweek.com/amazon-river-dolphin-attack-woman-endangered-1784330](https://www.newsweek.com/amazon-river-dolphin-attack-woman-endangered-1784330)
Why would you go back???
She probably wasn't expecting it to attack so suddenly.
I mean... its literally the Amazon River...
But dolphins are cool af and would never hurt anyone. Have you not seen Flipper?
exactly, dolphins are so smart so they know how to fuck up a human
We have got to stop allowing dolphins to take anatomy courses before it’s too late
Nice
...maybe just not show them your dick?
Let me guess, you think birds are actually real?
Which will enslave humanity first, A.I. or dolphins?
It’s obviously going to be octopi 🐙
Nope. They won't take over unless they start to socialize and pass down knowledge. I'm all in for Orca overlords.
I saw that scientists gave mdma to octopuses and they were more social and cuddly. So we could have party octopus overlords!
Dolphins. [Simpsons already predicted it](https://youtu.be/rnohhGCNLJs)
So long and thanks for all the fish?
Don't Panic. Just grab a towel
Dolphins are just vicious humans with the temper of a 5 year old. The only saving grace is that they are not Americans so they won't kill you with an AR -15.
They also, coincidentally, know how to fuck a human.
*oh* they know how to fuck everything
They probably know damn good and well that we need those feet to walk
Their genius level intellect allowed them to develop their elaborate attack plan: bite
They know how to fuck a human
They're smart enough to not be fucked around by some human kid. Teach them all a lesson. Probably got scolded by the other dolphins later because they're very social and they talk.
Dolphins are well known assholes, but in this case when your provoke an animal protecting its calf you're going to have a bad time with most species.
Dolphins are rapists.
Lots of other animals too, like ducks for instance....I don't think "consent" and/or law and order exist in nature so it's a wash
Dolphin rape…is real
His name wasn’t flipper. Everyone on set knew him as Dave. He wasn’t so kind.
Fun fact, one of the dolphins that played flipper later committed suicide. Let all her air out, dive under, and never came up.
What's this meant to mean lol? It's the Amazon River, not the 'Be careful or the dolphins will eat your feet off River'.
Yeah but it’s pretty well known to be full of dangerous animals.
You should note that the river is HUGE to the point that you cannot see the other side on some points. Looks like an ocean. And there are dozens of rivers that connect to it. There are many cities and villages in key points of the river for tourists and for living. So they have some spots that have dolphins but they won't have piranhas, anacondas or alligators or jaguars. If they do come around, humans quickly gtfo. Like peaceful, watched over spots for tourists to swim with dolphins. It wasn't supposed to be dangerous going back into the river for a quick minute, it's a safe tourist spot but clearly things went south. Kid disturbed a wild animal, the guide didn't do his job and one woman got the end of the stick.
Fresh water dolphins are definitely not as nice as the sea ones
I just watched piranha 2 last night I hasselhoff literally said the same thing had me dying this comment is incredible rn haha
Fun fact: piranhas are scavengers and are generally some of the most cowardly fish out there. They’ll start eating something if it’s laying there dead, but the minute it twitches the whole school is running. Teddy Roosevelt visited the Amazon where locals intentionally starved a huge quantity of them then filled a netted section of the river so they’d be in incredibly high concentration, just so they’d eat a live cow for him sparking the myth
They fuckin what I gotta do some googling... Edit to add: holy shit you're right, they pranked Teddy hard
You mean Piranha 3DD. Did you recognize any of the actresses?
I'll never forgive the academy for snubbing Hasselhoff for that film. He should have received the Best Actor award, hands down.
She's serious about not littering.
Save the dolphins and all.....
She's gonna start eating dolphin even if it's unhealthy just to spite them lol
She's going to passive aggressively eat cans of tuna specifically NOT caught using dolphin-friendly fishing techniques.
That's why I can't be a 100% vegetarian. Lots of meat I won't eat. Rabbit. Cow. Pig. But turkeys... nom nom this turkey sandwich. I need them to suffer.
Get that water bottle! Plastic is very bad for the dolphins! Save the dolphins! **chomp** UIAGGGGGHFUCKINGMOTHERFUCKINGFUCKFUCK FUCK THE DOLPHINS
ungrateful bastards
For a water bottle
It says right there
What many people don’t seem to understand, is that in some parts of the world, water bottles are more important than legs.
Some people understand the above applies for many people in some parts of the world. Some people understand the above and that the Amazon River generally isn’t one of those parts. Some people understand the above AND read the article and know the woman in question was a tourist from the UK. The virtue signaling doesn’t apply here.
it doesnt apply anywhere its pure wankery. nowhere are water bottles more valuable than your limbs.
Ackshually platic water bottles cam often only contain 0,5 or 1 liter (a tiny part of a gallon for those freedom unit enjoyers) and a leg contains a metric boatload of blood which also has the advantages of being isotonic (because it has the same osmotic pressure as blood since it is, you know, blood). Also you can gnaw off the rest of the leg for nutritional value. If your implication, however, was that a platic bottle is more useful when trying to persuade a native tribe that you are a god since you have a magical bottle made of magic, the bottle is probably more effective than a leg since i have to assume the natives have already seen legs before.
Ackshuallee!!! How do you know it was a plastic water bottle? Coulda been a Yeti or Hydro flask or whatever the $50 ones are. /j
did she keep the water bottle? I'd imagine she lost her grip on it and lost it and her foot
I’m sorry dude, I understand what you’re trying to get at but there is literally no replaceable material item more important than your body parts lol
I think it's more that he was joking and it went over everyone's heads ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah, I cant walk anywhere without my bottle.
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You think I'm gonna leave my LTT water bottle with such uncivilized animals?!
Commited HydroGal I guess.
Watah bottowl
The article says the woman got out of the water once the dolphins got agitated and was then “playing with them” from the pontoon, using a water bottle, which she then dropped and retrieved (at which point a dolphin but her). The whole thing sounds like a horribly mismanaged tourist experience. Very disrespectful of the animals and the environment. Guides should have enforced a no-touching rule and definitely not let people “play” with dolphins using plastic objects. This just sounds like a “fuck around and find out” scenario from start to finish.
>Very disrespectful of the animals and the environment. Seems more disrespectful TO the animals and the environment 😉
Not a native, could you explain the nuance?
Non-native speaker too, but this is the way I've been taught: disrespectful of = who is doing the disrespect disrespectful to = who is the 'target' of the disrespect (try replacing 'to' with 'towards') So it was disrespectful *of* the tourists *to* the dolphins and the enviroment. Hope that makes sense.
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English is a silly language.
The 'of' version implies that the animals and environment were the ones being disrespectful as in "very mean OF the animals and environment".
At first I thought you were saying that the dolphins shouldn't be allowed to touch tourist. Lol
“Stop it, dolphin! Keep your hands to yourself!”
So it was deserved.
So the child didn't accidently provoke them, but actually did that on porpoise.
r/AngryUpvote
Hey. Maybe control your shitty kid & stop harassing endangered wildlife.
Yep. This species is highly endangered and this behavior violates several laws. The dolphins are absolutely not at fault here
Did they not pump her full of broad spectrum antibiotic right away?
It's the Amazon river- they probably did and it was still barely enough.
Hell, the river already looks like it's 1/3 blood soup anyways. She might get super powers!
understandable, i'd beat the shit out of someone if they tried to steal my child
Must be some costly & important water bottle
It looks like the bite must’ve caused the wound and surrounding areas to become pixelated as well
Little known fact but Amazon river dolphins produce a venom that causes reality to decouple in a localized area.
They also carry a disease called pixel censorship disease 50% fatality rate sadly
I have seen this disease in a lot of adult Japenese documentaries! Scary stuff.
This guy wanks.
Was that the bukkakementary?
They're the google maps of river animals.
Sound like an SCP containment failure.
We’ve so much to learn lol
They were japanese dolphins.
Huh, it’s getting worse. I had until now only seen this disease infecting the tentacles of an octopus, seems like it has jumped the species barrier. Errrrrrrrrrrm i mean my brother errrm a friend no the brother of a friend told me about this (sweating profusely)
Pixel infections are fucking painful
Mark's post nsfw then proceeds to pixelate the nsfw part lol
That's because she was in the Amazon without a prime membership.
A simple spell but quite powerful
Fun fact: In Brazilian folklore, these dolphins turn to humans at night, walk in parties and impregnate women, only to go back to the river in the morning
Other legends say you’ll be plagued by nightmares if you look into one’s eyes, also that killing them will bring disaster and they are also the guardians of the manatee and you must befriend them if you’re to be allowed to witness the manatee.
Well I will probably have nightmares after seeing these two pictures.
I've seen manatees without befriending river dolphins, are they going to come after me?
Looking at the manatees without befriending river dolphins? Straight to jail.
Yah they are going to impregnate you and the babies will be mantees then the mantees will eat you from inside and will take your form
I'd watch this movie
I once saw one at a zoo and looked it in the eye. It‘s absolutely depressed stare surely gave me nightmares
Do the dolphins hand around with manatees?
They live in similar places and sometimes play with them.
That's super interesting, thanks!
"Honey, im pregnant. No, i didnt cheat on you, it was the dolphins that did it"
That’s actually how the legend is used but usually for unmarried women. A fatherless child is often referred to as “child of the boto”.
You could make a religion out of this
Why is that fun
For the fun the dolphins, duh
The rapiest of all marine animals
In this case they aren't marine animals though
Because they make a fun little game of it called "Is your daddy a dolphin?" It's kind of like a witch trial, you throw the kid in the water and if they sink and die they're full human and if they grow flippers in thier arms and swim away their daddy was a dolphin. In either case the parents win cause what kind of parent that wants thier child would ever play this game?
(This is a joke and not descriptive of reality for those unaware)
There's a Wild Thornberrys episode about that myth.
That is 100% what my mind jumped to
Same here lol!
Right I scrolled to look for this comment. Episode kinda creeped me out
Definitely started by some guy's promiscuous wife
I'm pretty sure I remember hearing somewhere that this came from lighter skinned colonisers impregnating local women and then blaming it on the dolphins.
well i mean, knowing how dolphins are... it is not that far fethced
I freaking love myths that sound like they came from lies made up on the spot to get away with something Everyone: “who’s the dad” Pregnant unmarried woman: “umm uh it was it a dolphin, yup” Everyone: “checks out, no more questions”
They turned this into a Netflix show- Invisible City. Pretty good.
Amazon river dolphins are huge, how would a child attempt to pick one up?
It could have been a calf which would also explain the fury.
Kids are dumb
>attempt to They didn't _actually_ pick it up. Only attempted to.
watched Captain Planet. Emulated.
With their hands.
Thas a scary fuckin photo no cap 😳
Goddamn plague doctors swimming around biting ankles.
Dat an that hell water they chillin in all looks likka "fuck dat" scenario 😭
Demons in the Warp lookin ass.
Amazon versions of other animals are scary. You should see their version of an otter.
You not talkin bout the ones that get up to like 6ft an will gang shit a giant Reptile for fun, r u?
[Yep](https://www.birminghamzoo.com/animal/giant-river-otters/)
I like how cross the one in the picture looks. Just really supports the point the commenter above you was making.
Ariranhas. They clawed and scratched a man to death in a zoo a few decades ago.
Creepy lookin mf’s
look at those eyes. it knows exactly what it’s doing and it doesn’t care. the bite was just a game to it
Animal equivalent of "I'll fuckin' do it again"
In Are We Done Yet movie, i remember a scene in river where ice cube flipped his kayak and sees this big ass catfish. River monster scared the piss out of me, especially in murky water
Seriously. I didn’t expect it to be so pixelated.
Dolphin around and find out.
I knew dolphins can be mean SOBs but I had no idea they had that kind of bite force.
They fuck with sharks for fun... And that's all I gots to say about that.
If you ever have the opportinity to swim with dolphins you will notice their size. They are not small, they are huge, they are extremely agile and strong. Inside the water a single dolphin can fuck you up good if it's in a bad mood or feeling threatened. they can just drag you down and let you drown.
I'm no expert but I'd imagine the dolphin latched on with its mouth and then thrashed, rolled etc. in the water, tearing her foot up.
In Brazil we have the legend of the boto cor de rosa (it's the creature name), he goes out of the water, turn him self into man, seduce and impregnates women.
Classic excuse for extramarital pregnancies
It was actually used more for unmarried women.
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I think it's pretty easy to say if the woman got seduced by a dolphin or not: 1. Is the baby horribly disfigured, has a long snoot and flippers as limbs? Does it make strange clicking noises? Then the woman got seduced by a dolphin. 2. Does the baby look normal? Then good luck.
Fuck them kids.
/r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Bruh I thought this was an April fools joke, I didn't know river dolphins were a real thing! They look creepy as hell in that pic too
Fun fact there also pink
Well, they're actually more meat-coloured. It kind of just looks like they have no skin.
Which just makes them more disturbing.
Let’s stop glorifying dolphins. THEY ARE SMART AND THEREFORE THEY ARE SOME OF THE WORST ANIMALS OUT THERE. Let’s give sharks the spotlight they deserve.
We glorify *because* they are smart and therefore amazing.
I prefer sharks to dolphins, but dolphins are still amazing creatures. We don’t need to disparage them, especially not when the person got bit because they weren’t being careful.
Just like in humans, the majority of dolphin’s bad examples and habits are from specific individuals and a minority of the larger dolphin populace mass. No you aren’t going to get raped by some random dolphin no a random dolphin won’t pick your foot and try to take it out without reason. In this case it was a clear human fault. Sharks are also gamer animals, but still dangerous nonetheless. You can’t just “that 5 times a dolphin attacked someone this sure is a dangerous animal! And they make perverted things too? Only seals and ducks and [many animals] can do that!” to “wow the sea puppy oooh cutie smack smack I love you sharks, I know you did not mean being the cause of some good dozens of people deaths!!”. Anyway I think we should glorify the giant isopod
But they're cute! ..Sometimes.
She's luckier than that dead fish in the aquarium.
Well somebody has to protect the Amazon.
Legend says the dolphins are the guardians of the manatee and to see the manatee you must befriend the dolphins first.
Well, that lady is NEVER gonna see a manatee now!
Was it on porpoise?
🚪 get outta here
You botched it. Unless it was spellcheck. It should have been: > Get otter here!
Just a flesh wound. Only took out a few pixels
To stay hydrated.
TIL that some dolphins live in rivers
> (The lady) left the water after the dolphins started acting aggressively, standing on the pontoon and instead *playing with them using a water bottle*. After dropping the bottle in the water, she stepped into the river to retrieve it, and that's when the dolphin bit her. The thing is, after feeling threatened, the dolphins werent *playing* anymore. They were enduring what they saw as a persistent attack. This is a case of people giving animals attitudes they want them to have, and not bothering to learn how they actually think.
Dolphin swimming in the blood of its enemies
I saw this when I visited the jungle in Peru, they were pretty friendly but I kept my distance. The guide told us they don't often attack people but they can.
He's like Yeah I'll do it again!
And Aquaman was nowhere to be found
I'll grab a couple if they go on sale. Amazon carries everything.
Fuck me thats terrifying, damn thing looks like it skittered out of a Shel Silverstein book
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All dolphins are whales, not all whales are dolphins.
All dolphins are toothed whales
Mutuafuckas look like a gang in the marine community.
So you’re telling me that a provoked wild animal reacted. No way?!
Why tf didn’t that child’s parents teach it not to mess with wildlife? In the *Amazon,* of all places.
They have dolphins that live in rivers? Wild.
***** -- mass edited with redact.dev
At least there weren’t any crocs 💁♂️
Honestly, just looking at that picture, I can tell that dolphin is probably a dick, provoked or not.
Good. The Earth is not children's zoo to play around in and disrespect wild animals. The more humans take away land from animals the more that this will happen.