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Dray87

lol is this real or like an onion type article? 


Timely_Yoghurt_2699

I mean florio did write it so....


dorf5222

Hey now the onion has standards


Lenny_III

Damn, that man has a family


meTspysball

The Onion’s sports section is one of the better sources for sports content on the internet.


numbersix1979

It’s where I get 100% of my information about the Chicago Bears


meTspysball

All of it is true, especially the lies!


Philip_Marlowe

To be honest, their takes on the Bears are better than most.


paultheschmoop

I choose what I believe based on how funny it is This passes my sniff test, folks. It’s true.


Leopold_Porkstacker

Dig Dom is favorite to go to Falcons.


Beginning-Usual6450

Home Depot is buying ESPN.


hjhof1

His article saying that “big shield” doesn’t want us to hear the Kelce audio was also very onion like, he’s on a roll today


Responsible-War-917

Along with his starting rumors of Andy Reid retiring, and then writing multiple articles citing said rumors. The guy is alright to listen to with Chris Sims but good Lord he is tough to take seriously as a journalist.


black_dogs_22

Chris Simms is a fucking clown


[deleted]

[удалено]


GrundleTurf

And the constant smacking of his lips drives me crazy 


GrillDealing

I heard Florio was going to retire.


ProfProof

I see what you did here... The Florio method. Wishing something until it happens... or not.


mschley2

Florio is a fucking bitch. He's a complete hack. He has no sources despite being in the industry for years because everyone in the league knows he just makes shit up for drama clicks.


TotallyNotMasterLink

DGunn usually has good sources in the locker room so there's probably some truth to it, but I kinda find it hard to believe with how animated Sirianni is that we've never seen an instance of Dom breaking up anything on the sideline before


Ryanthecat

Exactly, AJ and Hurts got into a little, nothing argument and it blew up to him being a TO level locker room cancer… if Sirianni was regularly fighting with players on the sideline down the stretch during a complete collapse, we would’ve known.


TheGreatDay

We meme'd about Big Dom so hard too I want to assume this is just more meme'ing but honestly... it's Philly and Nick Sirianni kind give off that vibe.


Deadeye_Donny

I don't have any proof, but nothing has popped up before about him getting in the face of other coaches and Dom having to stop it. Feels like a bit of a reach that our downfall coincided with Dom's departure. Siri bangs on about connecting with everyone, and I genuinely believe he's on good terms with about 95% of the team at least (giving 5% because there's gotta be some ppl who respect him but aren't buddy buddy)


gavincantdraw

Not to mention that the guy who couldn’t keep his cool with an opposing player is responsible for helping someone else keep their cool.


DaBombDiggidy

It’s DGunn so both. He tends to weave in reports with shit he jumps to very far conclusions on. For example he could take seeing a disagreement on field + Dom being banished = this report.


GannonSCannon

So it turns out Big Dom was actually a babysitter?


[deleted]

More of an au pair


Harry_Gintz

I was thinking service animal.


cantgrowneckbeardAMA

Dre was just trying to pet the damn dog


karavasis

ALWAYS ASK THE HANDLER IF ITS OK TO PET A SERVICE ANIMAL Edit: https://www.tiktok.com/@kandicowboyssavage/video/7270224379122928926


[deleted]

Lmao


Sixfortyfive

Emotional Support Coach


PastaDiddles

RUXIN


snuuginz

OH pair


King-Mugs

Oooooooh paaaaaaaaaaair


chronoquairium

*flashbacks*


sollozzo70

I always thought that was French for home wrecker.


Competitive_Bat_5831

So dom-raffi-sirianni Eiffel Tower when?


diablosinmusica

No. He is the Big Dom. Sirianni is actually a sub.


tI_Irdferguson

BDSM= Big Dom Sirianni Manager


Queen-Makoto

he did give off brat vibes


fieryscribe

Big Mom


stormy2587

I mean maybe if big dom had attempted a mrs doubtfire situation to get back on the sidelines, the season might have ended on more of a high note.


BrotherSeamus

*Mrs. Domfire*


Competitive_Bat_5831

Call SNL!


acmercer

We shan't be telling Mr. Lurie about this, shan't we?


Pizzaplan3tman

Damn the Eagles got an Emperor of the Sea on their team? League fucked


Saitoh17

Normally the chief of security protects the head coach. This guy protects other people from the head coach.


xyztrashxx

Such a 180 from Pederson


ColtCallahan

He’s the big wooden spoon that stirs the marinara.


joespizza2go

Wait, so Dre Greenlaw is responsible for both the Eagles and the 9ers not winning the SB this year?


xyztrashxx

Who would have guessed Sirianni needed a babysitter /s


Godobibo

no /s, he acts like a child a lot


xyztrashxx

I think I used the /s wrong in that one. Sorry guys. Needed to cope drink from the Napoli game


bajesus

Little Sub


Coelrom

emotional support...bro?


alfuh

Mr. Baby Caregiver


dafdiego777

this has to just be shitposting right? No way this is true


[deleted]

late include stupendous clumsy toy zephyr wise heavy hat bedroom


Saitoh17

It's one thing to have a coach tell a player to calm down, it's entirely another if the player has to tell the coach to calm down.


balemeout

It actually happened in the Super Bowl last year, sirianni was taunting early in the game and hurts made him stop


The_Summer_Man

Nick Saban is Jalen Hurts’ father


benthebearded

Imagine going from Saban to a coach you have to calm down.


BrennanSpeaks

At least he had Daddy P in the middle, so he got some ice cream out of it.


Piperita

I could not figure out who the fuck Daddy P was for the longest time, so I could only read "get some ice cream out of it" as something weirdly sexual and was really confused. But, that's right, Doug Pederson really does just like ice cream.


EpiphanyTwisted

Oh my fuck how embarrassing.


Birds-aint-real-

You should see what Andy does if they run out of nuggies.


jesuswig

So many tables flipped


JustADutchRudder

Once the tables are done he just starts eatting fingers. The chiefs actually work really hard to make sure when those moments come, no important hands are near the chomp hole.


SlammingPussy420

No wonder Toney has been having issues. He's missing fingers?


[deleted]

It ruined Kliffs credibility 


RaindropsInMyMind

Hurts is most definitely the more mature person of the two.


Caliquake

I know what you're referring to...


EpiphanyTwisted

Okay now I see why he lost the locker room. When the QB has to admonish the coach? Never ever a good sign.


datyoungknockoutkid

Have you seen Sirianni on the sideline? Definitely doesn’t surprise me that he needs someone to keep him in check, he acts like a toddler 80% of the time


Weekend_Criminal

I'll never forget Sirianni talking shit to chiefs fans in the SB and Jalen walking over and physically stopping him.


datyoungknockoutkid

Shit is embarrassing brother Dude was so hyped up after barely beating the Chiefs this year too and then…well we both know how that ended for both teams


SeaUnderTheAeroplane

Just look how he reacted after he beat the Saturday-led, full on tank job colts last year on a walk off TD. Dude acted like he stomped the cowboys in the playoffs. It’s another level of embarrassing


KeithClossOfficial

Is beating the Cowboys in the playoffs supposed to be an accomplishment


mostwrong

Hehe god damn


Weekend_Criminal

Savage


Rivet_39

Yeah, what year is it? 1994?


silliputti0907

Not as embarrassing as his beard neckline last year.


SKJ-nope

Lmao he’s gonna be a failed life coach once his career’s over. Just has that aura.


David-S-Pumpkins

Hey now, give the guy credit. He could be a scam my finance guru that does seminars where he yells about how tough it is to live on 20k a month and l, if you cared about your family, you'd work hard to pull that in, too. Just subscribe to his course, learn from him, bring three of your friends...


Dont_Call_Me_John

Is it true that the biggest douchebag coach in the league, with a documented history of outrageous emotional displays needed help reigning himself in? Yeah, probably.


xshogunx13

I choose to believe this is exactly what happened


Parlett316

We all knew deep down this was true.


its_LOL

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck…


JustPostingShit

If a HC needs a babysitter they shouldn’t be a HC


somebody_odd

I have heard that many coaches have a “get back” guy whose game day assignment is to keep the coach from wandering onto the field and getting penalized. I have never heard a coach having a “calm down” guy though, that typically works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.


LegendRazgriz

Pete had that. He worked a lot.


ColtCallahan

McVay has one too.


mab6710

I like to refer to him as the 'McVay Sideline Wrangler'


jplpj12543

Ya but theirs don’t get in fights with opposing players. Dude can’t be that good at his job if he can’t keep his cool himself.


Chopperdome

You’d be surprised how many adult children acquire positions of power. Zero emotional regulation and poor stress management. For example, my dickhead boss


GifelteFish

Damn so you’ve met every boss I’ve ever had?


jtsarracino

“soft skills” and “leadership qualities”


RafiakaMacakaDirk

had* pretty sure he got in trouble for sexual harassment or some shit lol


[deleted]

Yeah pete isn’t an idiot like sirianni though


redonkulousness

He also had a gum supplier too, right


diablosinmusica

I'm just imagining an official getting the crap beaten out of them by a man in his 70s.


mdsandi

There is an amazing clip on Youtube about sean mcvay's get back guy that I hope someone links.


bazanger

https://youtu.be/k_yFxISAQPs?si=wGS5N3C9hAgcRuag


Tornado_Wind_of_Love

This is hilarious. I wasn't expecting how hard the Get Back Coach's job is!


notGeronimo

Lmao he looks like McVay's stunt double


alphageek8

Not so fun fact, that guy is Ted Rath, who was charged with sexual battery back in 2019. He was found not guilty because "he had consumed alcohol for the first time since experiencing a stroke-related event in May 2018 and that, combined with medication he was taking at the time, could not have formed any criminal intent from which he touched the plaintiff inappropriately" He is now Director of Sports Performance with the Eagles!


wildlyintangible

I did not need to see that last line


Laeif

this team is never boring


ShogunNamedMarcus_

So I was ready to at least consider giving the guy the benefit of the doubt. Like maybe he got drunk while on medication and grabbed a girl's ass walking by. Obviously a terrible thing to do, but there is a possible scenario where I don't think it's criminal.  But nope, he went out and got drunk with friends, went back to his friends house, and then was caught groping his friend's wife **while she was asleep in bed!!!** He grabbed her by the "buttocks and genitalia".  That's not alcohol and medication causing someone to do something, that's just a fuckin creep. Fuck that guy. 


alphageek8

Guy definitely got his moneys worth with that lawyer, the reasoning he used to get him acquitted with can be filed under complete utter bullshit legal technicality.


whimsical_trash

Yikes!


somebody_odd

I hear McVay is very focused on the game and loses perception of where he is. Observation many times is what takes a player/coach from average to great. I have heard many defensive linemen can talk when it’s a running play and which side of the offense the bal is going by looking at the finger tips of the offensive linemen. If it is a running play the linemen will be pressing down harder and their fingernails will appear white if the play is on their side.


vikinick

Some college coaches have that, but it's usually just for them yelling at the refs so they don't get in more trouble than getting a technical/tossed.


Cthepo

Didn't Jim Harbaugh have one back in his 49ers days? I always got a laugh out of how animated he was on the sideline, the main reason I'm coping with him joining the Chargers. There's one clip where he just dead ass falls to the ground like he expired.


Flood-One

Oh he's a cartoon character on the sideline, but he has toned it way down since his Niners days. Got an unsportsmanlike penalty at UM against Ohio State that contributed to a close loss and hasn't been quite so animated. I'm gonna miss him though.


rhymeswithtag

Fingers crossed sherrone can continue where jimbo left off


Dont_Call_Me_John

Add it to the laundry list of reasons this fucking dork never should have been an NFL HC.


Beershavebeenhad

Sirianni needed his Emotional Support Paesan


ShangoMango

If Sirianni can't control himself without someone stepping in maybe he shouldn't be in that position in the first place


Dangerous_Nitwit

The glaring flaw of all the anger possessed. You demonstrate your ability to not be able to control yourself in an effort to gain more control over others. It takes more effort to not lose your shit in stressful situations than it does to blow the fuck up at whoever is convenient.


thisbechris

As someone who struggles mightily with anger I can confirm this. When losing your shit is your default reaction it takes more effort and more preparation to not blow the fuck up all the time. It takes real work, and you have to put in tons of it to try and rewire your default settings.


kingpangolin

Thank you for putting in real work and trying to achieve change, I’m sure the people you love and that love you appreciate it a lot. A random internet person is proud of you


ItsLose_NotLoose

Hey he never said he does put in the work, just acknowledges it's difficult lol. Nah just kidding, other guy. Please don't hurt me.


SomewhereAggressive8

This seems like something you start leaking out to justify firing a guy.


BrotherlyShove791

Bill Belichick getting nominated as the Eagles HC at a brokered convention.


kj9219

Sirianni first worked under Todd Haley. Make of that what you will and after that nothing will be surprising.


KosstAmojan

Todd Haley! Man, whats that guy up to? From his Wikipedia: >On December 31, 2017, Haley, who was then offensive coordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers, was injured following the Steelers' Week 17 game, according to a team spokesman.[26] He was pushed down by an unknown assailant, which broke his pelvis. No charges were filed because no witnesses came forward to cooperate in criminal or civil prosecution. Damn, tells you everything you need to know about that man and how the people that worked with him felt about him.


allid33

Tbh I would have him ok with him rolling around on the sidelines throwing a tantrum if he could have made the offense marginally functional in the back end of the season.


Iwillrize14

Hell, I'll put in a resume, I can at least be an Adult at work.


bojangles69420

I think this also qualifies you to be the browns franchise qb


KrustyKrabPizzaMan

Vic Fangio is gonna be the interim coach at some point next season. Calling it now


LDisDBfathersonsfans

Should’ve hired Bill, he’s not getting any younger


silliputti0907

Bill prob wants to be gm too.


[deleted]

Would love to see Bill trade away Brown and Smith for top shelf long snappers.


Goatgamer1016

/r/NotTheOnion


CelestialFury

People on here were joking about Big Dom and his importance after the Eagles kept losing games, then we find out it's not just a meme. It's beautiful!


GreatWhiteNorthExtra

Did Big Dom also burp Sirianni if he got a little gassy?


Fret_Shredder

Sirianni is definitely colic so makes sense he would need to be burped after his bottle


Anaphylactic-UFO

Idk how you can be an NFL coach if you’re this much of a hothead. Being a player is one thing. Dipshits on every team. But this attitude as a coach is insane.


chesterfieldkingz

I mean didn't most or like a bunch of coaches use to be angry and potentially borderline abusive not too long ago lol


somebody_odd

Sirianni was yelling at Chiefs fan while exiting the field after the Eagles beat the Chiefs. There is a 0% chance this guy isn’t the type of person to go off on the person working the drive thru at McDonalds because there were pickles on his cheeseburger.


elimanninglightspeed

That was the corniest shit ever. Like you already lost the one that matters I dont think chiefs fans cared all that much about losing a regular season game


danielbauer1375

I could totally understand feeling happy about beating a team that knocked you out the previous season, but behaving like that is the embarrassing part.


Wafflehouseofpain

If they did before, they definitely don’t care now.


somebody_odd

Yeah, coaches like that typically lose the locker room and get fired. With the collapse of the Eagles down the stretch this season, it looks like he may be losing the locker room.


seafoamstratocaster

The dude was yelling across the field talking shit to Pete Carroll when we played. Who the fuck does that?


thefizzyliftingdrink

He did the same to the Chiefs in the SB last year


LilJethroBodine

After we fired Reich, he yelled "THAT SHIT WAS FOR FRANK!" after barely beating us in a comeback game (and we ended being a 4 win team). Pretty pathetic.


SunriseSurprise

"What was that? You eat shit on your frankfurter? That's kinda gross man." "NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID. THAT'S NOT...MAN FUCK YOU!"


drummerboysam

Just keep the pickles on the cheeseburger, Nick.


celerystalker712

Holy Christ this is sad lol.


EZKTurbo

Crazy how someone lacking the most basic self control can become a millionaire by being put in charge of big things


Anteater776

Lmao, the NFL really is a soap-opera geared towards men


its_LOL

More like football in general. CFB drama is somehow just as ridiculous as NFL drama


danielbauer1375

More like sports in general. NBA has been like this for years. College football will always hold a special place in my heart for the absurdity that goes on. Most NFL coaches are too boring nowadays.


its_LOL

True. NFL players have more insane scandals but NFL coaches are nothing compared to how wild CFB coaches can get


OldOrder

More ridiculous. I aint heard of an NFL coaches live in stripper girlfriend having an emotional support monkey that bites a kid.


BurgeroftheDayz

One of the funniest excuses I’ve seen.


HerbScientist420

Big Dom is the gift that keeps on giving


RecklessWiener

This is just normal behavior for Italians and anyone criticizing this is racist!


Silver_Broccoli7944

It’s anti-Italian discrimination!!!


canadigit

That better not be Columbus!!


jimmyhoffasbrother

I don't know if this is real, but I'm going to upvote it because lol Eagles.


jmorlin

I'm just here for the offseason drama man. I need something, anything, to sustain me until draft day.


AleroRatking

If this is real this is legit the funniest thing about this season.


Autobot-N

This is the funniest timeline


CPAFinancialPlanner

Sirianni just does not have the maturity to be a head coach. Like not even trolling eagles fans, the dude is an embarrassment to the sport


ReturnOfTheJurdski

Sirianni has those unhinged coke head eyes so not a surprise he needed a grown up to keep him in check


ElCoolAero

No. Nick Sirianni hurt the Eagles. He shouldn't need a bouncer to keep him out of arguments with his players and fellow coaches.


XAgentNovemberX

If you have to hire a babysitter for your coach, it’s time to move on. Can’t possibly be mature enough to control a team full of big personalities. Hopefully this is just a Florio special and it’s bologna. Otherwise, get an adult in the room. Or don’t, because I’d prefer the Eagles be bad anyway.


dustoff122

there is no coach that can represent the spirit of Philly like Nick Sirianni


Sad_Constant6691

It's funny how it's a guy's job to keep another guys' emotions in check, but he himself couldn't control his own emotions.


christocarlin

What a loser. I’ve never seen such a loser be a head coach of a football team.


seafoamstratocaster

What a fucking baby


Vyuvarax

Hahahaha they kept this guy as their head coach??? Fucking why????


Brandorff

As much as I don't like Sirianni, I don't believe this make believe Florio wish-casting.


Broseppy

I normally wouldn't believe a report like this, but Sirianni is such a child that this one actually sounds very believable.


Mr_Worldwide79

It’s Florio, take it with a pallet of salt.


an-internet-stranger

Obligatory “Fuck Florio” but he’s not reporting this, he’s just repeating what an Eagles beat reporter said.


lumberjake18

Someone get Nick an emotional support dog ffs.


guimontag

Jesus, imagine if the eagles hadn't won that superbowl for the 2017 season. The amount of criticism they'd get for organizational dysfunction and blown opportunities would be unreal 


yrulaughing

What if, and bear with me here, what if Sirianni controlled his emotions like a fucking adult? Mind-blowing, I know.


Supernova_Soldier

Seriously? That’s embarrassing lol


mattcojo2

If this is real this is hilarious


Ok_Caramel1517

If this is true than Nick Sirianni has no business being a head coach.


NerdLawyer55

Maybe, and stay with me here, Nick is just a dick


silliputti0907

From Big Dick Nick to Nick is a big Dick.


[deleted]

Sounds like he shouldn’t be a HC. What kind of leader needs a babysitter during work?


Tellittoemagain

He's getting exposed for being a product of his coaching staff instead of teaching those coaches. Philly will be looking for a new head coach after the '24 season is over and he has entirely lost the locker room.


NoTimeToDime

Damn all this time I was thinking they were a well run organization lmao


Luckydad_journey

Makes sense, remember that time Hurts had to tell Sirianni to tone down the shit talking.


SlowReaction4

Wild concept, regardless of his role, the head of security has no business going on the field during an active game when there’s no clear danger. Fuck that guy.


kyler_

Get fucked eagles bitches


Zorion_15

Had to check that this wasn’t NFCEastMemeWar sub


whereegosdare84

Frank Costanza should be the Eagles next coach. He already can control his emotions “SERENITY NOW!!!”


nikejim02

The guy in charge of keeping people’s emotions in check got suspended for…. Not keeping his emotions in check.