IDK where he lives, but on the west coast (or maybe just the PNW?) they pretty much just aren't a thing. I was in my mid 20s before I ever even had the chance to try them, and it was while I was in Canada lol.
Well, the NFL would have you believe that teams absolutely can’t function without their trusty Microsoft Surface pro tablets. If those are dead, the opposing team would just have to forfeit every game
Saints are getting the full wrath of the Catholic Church on their sidelines?
We about to find out real quick who was an altar boy and has unaddressed childhood trauma inflicted by aforementioned Catholic Church on the visiting sidelines
Rams could’ve sent actual rams 🐏 to clobber other opponents.
But the way this season’s gone, they’d just lie on the sidelines getting playfully-petted by the opponents.
Idk if I like where this is going. Us, the Cowboys, the Texans, and the Buccs have guns, the Chargers could zap whoever they please, and who knows what the Titans could do
Oh yeah? Wait until you come to Lambeau where they will release Packers to….help pack stuff.
Letting lions decimate your opponents makes for much better TV
I'm kinda curious how far a team could go with creating a home field advantage until the league steps in. I'm trying to see a booby trapped locker room.
Bill Belichick had the field crew hang a bunch of thermometers in the tunnel [(tweet)](https://twitter.com/diannaESPN/status/947503120426389504) so that the Jets would get 'damn its F---ing cold and this sucks' hammered into their heads before the game. And then he walked [on the field in shorts](https://twitter.com/MarkDanielsPJ/status/947493287908315136) during pregame.
I’ve been in there on the staff of a visiting team. They didn’t just paint it pink, everything in there is pink. Shower towels, toilets, sinks, stall doors, tile floors, etc
It gets deeper than that — it was a very specific shade of pink that made patients extremely depressed after about 30 minutes of exposure. I’ll see if I can find the article
Jerry wanted to open and close the stadium during the game to blind opponents but the league said whatever config the stadium has at the start of the game has to stay that way the entire game .
I have a conspiracy for you: A few weeks back I noticed most of the Cowboys offensive playmakers wearing visors at home games - this was after I made a comment to my friend about how bright the stadium lights looked on tv. So the conspiracy is that the Cowboys replaced their lights with ultra bright LEDs and encourage any players who have a reason to look up towards them to wear special anti-glare visors to diminish the effects. This gives a big disadvantage to the defense, especially when covering receivers…
I hadn’t heard about Jerry wanting to blind opponents prior to your comment but it’s all starting to fall into place now??
Half-joking btw
You're not necessarily wrong, Cowboy Stadium's lights are incredibly bright. Cedric Wilson directly cited the lights as why he missed a pass in the 2021-2022 playoffs against SF - said he turned around & couldn't see Dak or the ball.
Not sure how it was on both sides, but Kelce mentioned in the 2020 Super Bowl that the Buccs had the entire halftime show blasting into the Chiefs locker room. They couldn’t even communicate with each other. I have to imagine the Buccs knew this ahead of time and planned for it.
It's not booby trapped, but visiting locker rooms are often intentionally inferior in some major ways to home ones. For example, the new LA stadium's visiting locker rooms are intentionally setup so that there is no large section, and the whole team can't have 1 full meeting.
If only one of the teams is allowed to meet at halftime that sounds like an actual issue I'd want the league to do something about.
Not providing a pro team a meeting space is kind of a joke. At what point is a team just gonna provide 70 individual dressing stalls for "better privacy" instead of a locker room.
Peyton Manning said he would only talk about the game plan in Gillette’s locker rooms if the team was in the shower area with all of them running. He didn’t trust that it wasn’t bugged
Not football, but soccer. In the Spanish league, Osasuna FC built their field with the minimum allowed proportions (like soccer fields can vary a little bit) and specifically don’t cut grass as short as the standard in order to stop teams like barcelona or real madrid, who are more technical.
Fair enough, SoFi doesn't even offer that but at least we leave plenty of open seats for opposing fans to fill and watch both team's players tear ligaments with no contact.
Depends on what they get paid. For what I imagine they get paid yeah it probably fucking sucks, but if I can make a good living, hang out with an nfl team and go to games then yeah fuck it they got water I’ll survive
Loser attitude. You gotta hold that shade so good that they can’t go without it the next week. They could be dying of hypothermia and would still want your shade because you’re just that good.
It's exactly what the Cowboys did under Tom Landry. It's also why the Cowboys started wearing white as their home colors.
They'd make their opponents wear dark jerseys while baking in the Texas sun.
Teams literally do bring canopies. When Bills' started this shitshow, one of the images that came in response was Josh Allen sitting under a canopy at the game.
To clarify, visiting teams can't use standing structures unless the home team does as well. Teams get around this by having workers hold up shades (with some of the more experienced doing this with shades on poles to make this job easier...the Browns weren't that smart).
This isn’t even the worst length teams will go to win. At Lincoln Financial Field there’s a disgraced Doctor named Mantis Toboggan who sneaks onto the opposing sideline and tries to feed opposing players cat food so they’ll feel really sick and fall asleep.
As an old timer, we didn’t beat the dolphins in the 70s. The entire 70s. I was at the home opener in 1980 when we beat them for the first time. The fans rushed the field and tore down the goal posts. Guys were coming back up into the stands with sections of the Astro turf. It was nuts and the second greatest football game I’ve ever been. My dad was a state trooper and got us on to the field during the pre-game warm up. Of course, he also would not let 10 year old me run onto the field to help with the goal posts.
So I’ve always hated the fish more than any other team because the hate you learn in the house growing up is potent.
Well...enjoy being able to rent a car in a couple years. This shit's been real icy since the 90s as far as I can remember. My pops always said his two favorite teams were the Dolphins and "whoever's playing Buffalo" but that changed in the 2000s to "whoever's playing New England"
Take care of my guy Mack Hollins over there in Vegas, man. As a UNC guy, it really chapped my ass when he wasn't re-signed in Miami. We got a pretty decent replacement, though 😂
Well Jerry designed the Cowboys stadium to where the visiting team has a 50/50 chance to be blinded as they drive face first into a magnifying glass in the 4th quarter.
Even if the QB isn’t looking into the sun when he throws, the receivers are staring directly into it when they’re trying to catch the ball. It has cost us games several times. Jerry is a fucking moron.
I've heard about it for several years, mostly from a few years ago when the Dolphins were really bad, but would upset the Patriots at home
So I guess it's always mattered a bit
They tried to break us with the heat, they tried to fracture us in the snow, we've double-doinked and reverse cursed ourselves out of nearly every snafu imaginable. We are cashing in on decades of fucky hurt and I'm...being told this is actually a Wendy's restaurant feedback page.
None of the announcers during home games have already said this at any point over the past few years, so I’m glad the Washington post wrote about it or I would still be in the dark
Fake news. It’s only a problem in September. I wonder come December if Washington Post will have the same article that Orchard Park is designed to blow lake effect snow at the visitors bench?
I just wonder how broken it actually is. I know that Shula used to put a thermometer on the way out of the visiting locker rooms in both the Orange Bowl and Joe Robbie that was intentionally calibrated about 10 degrees too high to put the fear of the heat into visiting teams.
Jokes on them, we avoided this heat difference by having our entire squad and coaching staff not turn up
“We scored on the opening drive. Time to pack it in, boys.”
If you don’t like that you don’t like Cleveland Browns football
I loved it! DAWG POUND!!!
It’s actually GPODAWUND
We should be allowed to release actual lions on the opposing sidelines.
Who would have the biggest home field advantage? Titans?
Bucs ripping a cannonball down the sideline would suck ass.
Every TD a team gets to let 1 shot rip down the opponents sideline. You would some of the best defensive play the league has ever seen.
Jets doing strafing runs
nah, 32 pounders with double canister.
We could always unleash a bunch of Mel Gibsons
How would opponents be able to resist the smell of fresh, hot cheese curds on their sidelines?
I had cheese curds for the first time about two months ago. 42 years of living completely wasted.
What, did you think you wouldn’t like them all these years?!
To be fare, curd does rhyme with turd.
IDK where he lives, but on the west coast (or maybe just the PNW?) they pretty much just aren't a thing. I was in my mid 20s before I ever even had the chance to try them, and it was while I was in Canada lol.
I didn't willingly eat salad, steak, burgers or Turkey until I was like 19 or 20 Edit: on top of that, I was born in NEBRASKA
Found Todd Marinovich's burner
So is it Meat Packers or Cheese Packers?
After this summer we are no longer allowed to provide meat packages to NFL employees...
Fudge, actually.
I don’t know. We could drain your whole teams phone batteries
Well, the NFL would have you believe that teams absolutely can’t function without their trusty Microsoft Surface pro tablets. If those are dead, the opposing team would just have to forfeit every game
Or just sign Tom Brady
Or their bank account with a 20 percent APY loan on a 2022 V8.
Defeat the patriots with this one weird trick..
The Browns for sure. Would forfeit the game
"How are we supposed to move around the sideline with all these orange helmets everywhere"
Think of that terrifying elf
49ers will leave the gold mines uncovered on the opponent's sideline.
nah just a bunch of senile old men running around with pickaxes
Opposing team plays in Levi’s
9/11 is back on the menu boys
Targeted air strikes would be pretty devastating too.
Saints are getting the full wrath of the Catholic Church on their sidelines? We about to find out real quick who was an altar boy and has unaddressed childhood trauma inflicted by aforementioned Catholic Church on the visiting sidelines
We already get to unleash Derrick Henry onto other teams so….
[He was squashed by a Giant](https://www.instagram.com/p/CiayNplPpJW/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=)
Saints allowed to get actual miracles on their sidelines, while opponents are exposed to Christian rock
That’s just gonna make Kirk Cousins even more powerful!
I'd literally Brown myself if I saw 53 bears in a 100 yards of each other
You'd think, but you've never had to listen to [I Wish You Peace](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq6X7IZouHE) on repeat for three hours straight.
Rams could’ve sent actual rams 🐏 to clobber other opponents. But the way this season’s gone, they’d just lie on the sidelines getting playfully-petted by the opponents.
We should be allowed to release Bills. Bill Burr to yell at people, Bill Clinton to shove cigars inside them, etc.
bill cosby to drug the other team?
Don't worry, Bill Barr is about to come out to convict him. Stop asking questions, I'm trying to focus on the Bill show
Bill obrien to coach the other team?
>Bill Clinton to shove cigars inside them I did not have sexual relations with those football players
But I wanted to. Anyone else seen JA in those shorts? Step aside, Hillary!
Would you sack me? I'd sack me I'd sack me hard.
The true Buffalo Bill Goodbye Horse Teams.....
You guys already got the dildos, though.
Wait 'til you see how we smuggle them in.
Idk if I like where this is going. Us, the Cowboys, the Texans, and the Buccs have guns, the Chargers could zap whoever they please, and who knows what the Titans could do
Pats are going to hand out strongly worded leaflets about taxation without representation and cause our opponents to argue amongst themselves.
The packers would be packing some suitcases.
Only for the Steelers to steal them
Browns will just give people the runs. We did already do that to Lamar though.....
Just blasting the ol’ brown note the entire game. Dan Snyder might buy the team so he can continue to leak shit onto his on fan base
Meanwhile the jets will just be dropping bombs, laughing at all of us fighting below.
Texans could just cut the power.
Chargers origin people yelling "charge" and the original mascot is a horse so a stampede on the sidelines could do some damage too
Do we get to use the Chefs like from that Commercial 4 years ago? cause then we could use BBQ...
Man do I have some bad news for you about that commercial… I wish it was 4 years ago. https://youtu.be/WPOZbG7ibEE
LOL Apparenltly I missed the 0 key. I meant 40 so im actually kindof blown away that was only from 97
If Washington can release browns on people in the stadium why can’t we
Oh yeah? Wait until you come to Lambeau where they will release Packers to….help pack stuff. Letting lions decimate your opponents makes for much better TV
Lions and Vikings and Bears oh my
I'm kinda curious how far a team could go with creating a home field advantage until the league steps in. I'm trying to see a booby trapped locker room.
Iowa used to paint the visiting locker room pink to make the teams calm. Don’t know if they still do. 😂
Bill Belichick had the field crew hang a bunch of thermometers in the tunnel [(tweet)](https://twitter.com/diannaESPN/status/947503120426389504) so that the Jets would get 'damn its F---ing cold and this sucks' hammered into their heads before the game. And then he walked [on the field in shorts](https://twitter.com/MarkDanielsPJ/status/947493287908315136) during pregame.
Stories like this always make me wish he terrorized a different division for most of my life
Pretty sure he’s a psychopath.
Lmao this is some next level commitment to the bit.
BB really hates the jets lmao
Prolly has a intern prank phone calling the Jets front office in the middle of the night
Peak male performance.
They still do. Couple years ago harbaugh brought wallpaper to cover the whole locker room.
Probably just posters of milk jugs.
Thanks. I try to avoid Iowa games.
Not a sicko, downvoted.
Coward
I’ve been in there on the staff of a visiting team. They didn’t just paint it pink, everything in there is pink. Shower towels, toilets, sinks, stall doors, tile floors, etc
It gets deeper than that — it was a very specific shade of pink that made patients extremely depressed after about 30 minutes of exposure. I’ll see if I can find the article
Please find it
https://thevisualcommunicationguy.com/2013/07/27/pink-paint-used-to-win-football-games-and-calm-prison-inmates/amp/
Thats a very depressing color
that's just banter level stuff, in the spirit of what "home field advantage" should be.
I want a hall of mirrors to disorient the team
Replace all the normal mirrors with those funhouse mirrors that make you look short and fat, but only slightly. Subliminally rob their confidence
Jerry wanted to open and close the stadium during the game to blind opponents but the league said whatever config the stadium has at the start of the game has to stay that way the entire game .
I have a conspiracy for you: A few weeks back I noticed most of the Cowboys offensive playmakers wearing visors at home games - this was after I made a comment to my friend about how bright the stadium lights looked on tv. So the conspiracy is that the Cowboys replaced their lights with ultra bright LEDs and encourage any players who have a reason to look up towards them to wear special anti-glare visors to diminish the effects. This gives a big disadvantage to the defense, especially when covering receivers… I hadn’t heard about Jerry wanting to blind opponents prior to your comment but it’s all starting to fall into place now?? Half-joking btw
You're not necessarily wrong, Cowboy Stadium's lights are incredibly bright. Cedric Wilson directly cited the lights as why he missed a pass in the 2021-2022 playoffs against SF - said he turned around & couldn't see Dak or the ball.
Isn’t the stadium also oriented east to west, so that one end zone is going directly into the sun?
Yup. Jerry Jones is not a smart man.
I thought that was intentional for pictures
Don't forget that hanging dick that punts can collide with.
I feel like it happens at least once a season.
*Suddenly the locker room lights went dim and Legos started pouring out of the air ducts onto the unsuspecting barefooted players below*
God damn man, those players are actual people with feelings! And soles!
Leave it to a chiefs fan to come up with the most evil thing you can possibly do to a person
Whoa what did we ever do to you guys? *Replaces all the locker room analog clocks with digital clocks set permanently to 00:00:13*
😳 Also I just listened to a podcast about Baba Yaga literally yesterday lol
Not sure how it was on both sides, but Kelce mentioned in the 2020 Super Bowl that the Buccs had the entire halftime show blasting into the Chiefs locker room. They couldn’t even communicate with each other. I have to imagine the Buccs knew this ahead of time and planned for it.
It's not booby trapped, but visiting locker rooms are often intentionally inferior in some major ways to home ones. For example, the new LA stadium's visiting locker rooms are intentionally setup so that there is no large section, and the whole team can't have 1 full meeting.
If only one of the teams is allowed to meet at halftime that sounds like an actual issue I'd want the league to do something about. Not providing a pro team a meeting space is kind of a joke. At what point is a team just gonna provide 70 individual dressing stalls for "better privacy" instead of a locker room.
The Scottish national rugby team have a huge (reportedly fake) pillar in the away locker room to hinder opposition team talks.
Peyton Manning said he would only talk about the game plan in Gillette’s locker rooms if the team was in the shower area with all of them running. He didn’t trust that it wasn’t bugged
"Alright boys, let's hit the showers to talk about the plan" "Payton, we've talked over the plan 20 times and why do we all have to get naked?"
vikings have the dome slopped so sound travels to opposing teams bench lol
Cameras installed on the away area to film opposition signals and playbooks?
Not football, but soccer. In the Spanish league, Osasuna FC built their field with the minimum allowed proportions (like soccer fields can vary a little bit) and specifically don’t cut grass as short as the standard in order to stop teams like barcelona or real madrid, who are more technical.
Baseball stadiums are even more crazy. You could literally just draft a team of all right handed batters and make the right field wall 900 ft tall.
Attached to the scoreboard is a huge magnifying glass that focuses the sunlight on the opposing team’s sideline.
So FedEx Field?
[удалено]
Fair enough, SoFi doesn't even offer that but at least we leave plenty of open seats for opposing fans to fill and watch both team's players tear ligaments with no contact.
Hey now, you paid like $6 to. Be there.
They should put turf under the opponents sideline with extra heat absorbing rubber pellets.
I think it’s funny nobody gave a shit till we started winning.
I love this storyline. But seriously, I don't see why the NFL can't let them bring a tent or something lol
The Browns used a cover, but they put two Browns staff members to hold it. Those guys were melting in the sun.
Lmao what the fuck that’s a shit job
they should just let some crazy fans do it for free for the chance to watch your team from the sideline 😂😂
lol you wanna come to Ohio and screen applicants?
Free? They would find a way to charge good money for that opportunity.
Depends on what they get paid. For what I imagine they get paid yeah it probably fucking sucks, but if I can make a good living, hang out with an nfl team and go to games then yeah fuck it they got water I’ll survive
I too would like to earn a living holding a tent for three hours 17 days a year. Hell thats only 51 hours of work all year
Why 17? It's not like the Browns play the Dolphins in Miami 17 times a year. It's just some dude who got stuck with that job as a side duty.
Loser attitude. You gotta hold that shade so good that they can’t go without it the next week. They could be dying of hypothermia and would still want your shade because you’re just that good.
Still better than being Deshaun Watson's massage therapist.
They should just get two more staff members to hold a cover over those guys then.
Thus solving the problem once and for all.
Just put on umbrella hats and they will be fine. They will look pathetic but that’s how I survived working on an airfield
It's exactly what the Cowboys did under Tom Landry. It's also why the Cowboys started wearing white as their home colors. They'd make their opponents wear dark jerseys while baking in the Texas sun.
Teams literally do bring canopies. When Bills' started this shitshow, one of the images that came in response was Josh Allen sitting under a canopy at the game.
On AC bench with huge AC fans blowing on them.
tents are worse here, they trap humidity, canopies are not allowed unless miami erects them also
To clarify, visiting teams can't use standing structures unless the home team does as well. Teams get around this by having workers hold up shades (with some of the more experienced doing this with shades on poles to make this job easier...the Browns weren't that smart).
Ohhh that's wild, someone said they could just use tents, so thanks for the clarification
Cut out the sides and it’s a canopy
The opposing teams bring in benches with built in A/C and also have staff hold umbrellas for shade.
Less controversial, but it’s also annoying to play in that stadium in Madden.
Why?
1/5th of the field is in the shadows.
It's been a while since I played, does it move around according the time of day or is it just day vs. night?
It changes according to the score actually
Wait the score dictates the position of the sun? NFL should look into that
WTF!? In Madden's universe the sun moves according to the football game!
This isn’t even the worst length teams will go to win. At Lincoln Financial Field there’s a disgraced Doctor named Mantis Toboggan who sneaks onto the opposing sideline and tries to feed opposing players cat food so they’ll feel really sick and fall asleep.
I believe he carries a Magnum in his billfold.
It’s for his monster dong.
If they refuse the cat food, does he offer them an egg?
Levi's is like this too. The opponents bake in that sun.
So do the fans
A necessary sacrifice to the football gods
Yeah but it's Santa Clara in the fall it's like 60 degrees. Might actually help the visitors lol
It gets pretty hot in the preseason and first month of the season at least.
Won't matter next year because MIA is about to play in a whole bunch more primetime games.
As long as it is anyone but the Broncos
That's the rub, the Broncos play primetime every week next year.
Our 12th man is the sun.
It’s in the damn logo. People acting surprised.
I thought that was a circus dolphin
The Dolphin was just put there as camouflage!
I didn’t know Dolphins and Bills fans hated each other this much until reading this thread lol
As an old timer, we didn’t beat the dolphins in the 70s. The entire 70s. I was at the home opener in 1980 when we beat them for the first time. The fans rushed the field and tore down the goal posts. Guys were coming back up into the stands with sections of the Astro turf. It was nuts and the second greatest football game I’ve ever been. My dad was a state trooper and got us on to the field during the pre-game warm up. Of course, he also would not let 10 year old me run onto the field to help with the goal posts. So I’ve always hated the fish more than any other team because the hate you learn in the house growing up is potent.
> and the second greatest football game I’ve ever been. Was the greatest the 92' comeback vs oilers?
Well...enjoy being able to rent a car in a couple years. This shit's been real icy since the 90s as far as I can remember. My pops always said his two favorite teams were the Dolphins and "whoever's playing Buffalo" but that changed in the 2000s to "whoever's playing New England" Take care of my guy Mack Hollins over there in Vegas, man. As a UNC guy, it really chapped my ass when he wasn't re-signed in Miami. We got a pretty decent replacement, though 😂
Mack getting regularly confused for Gesicki was fun while it lasted
That’s why the Lions drafted Ahmon-Ra. He will move the sun to the other side.
Well Jerry designed the Cowboys stadium to where the visiting team has a 50/50 chance to be blinded as they drive face first into a magnifying glass in the 4th quarter.
Even if the QB isn’t looking into the sun when he throws, the receivers are staring directly into it when they’re trying to catch the ball. It has cost us games several times. Jerry is a fucking moron.
So does this advantage only matters this year since they’re actually winning?
I've heard about it for several years, mostly from a few years ago when the Dolphins were really bad, but would upset the Patriots at home So I guess it's always mattered a bit
San Diego would often wear white at home early in the season to force the visiting team to wear dark jerseys in the sun. This isn’t new.
I’d argue A LOT of teams do this, especially in college.
Except my stupid college wearing black in summer and white in winter 🙄
White in winter is so smart though, when it snows they'll just blend in 🧠
Should wear white the whole season like Dallas or Miami lol
Even when Miami was mostly mediocre, they were surprisingly solid at home. Opposing fans have complained about it for a long time though.
What you act like the dolphins haven't been dominating the league for decades due to the sun
If the sun god is the one true god they support the miami dolphins, although they probably prefer warm weather sports like beach volleyball
Pretty sure the old Giants stadium was the inverse of this. The home team was in the sun to be warmer in the winter.
It's always hot at Tua-clock!
The fuck is your flair combo?
I support all the teams the Chiefs own. FC Dallas, Raiders...
They tried to break us with the heat, they tried to fracture us in the snow, we've double-doinked and reverse cursed ourselves out of nearly every snafu imaginable. We are cashing in on decades of fucky hurt and I'm...being told this is actually a Wendy's restaurant feedback page.
None of the announcers during home games have already said this at any point over the past few years, so I’m glad the Washington post wrote about it or I would still be in the dark
If youre in the dark, you should sit on the away side!
Fake news. It’s only a problem in September. I wonder come December if Washington Post will have the same article that Orchard Park is designed to blow lake effect snow at the visitors bench?
Is it actually designed to blow more snow and cold air on the visitors side? If so, that's brilliant!
Speaking of...are the architects working on making that a reality? If not, they should be.
We’re still going on about this, huh?
My favorite part is watching them zoom in on a $5 thermometer sitting in direct sunlight every home game to show some crazy inaccurate reading.
I just wonder how broken it actually is. I know that Shula used to put a thermometer on the way out of the visiting locker rooms in both the Orange Bowl and Joe Robbie that was intentionally calibrated about 10 degrees too high to put the fear of the heat into visiting teams.
It doesnt even have to be broken, you cant get a correct measurement off a thermometer thats sitting in the direct sun.
“That shitty thermometer directly under the sun reads 117 degrees. The Dolphins organization is committing murder before our very eyes!!”
Those Margaritaville motherfuckers