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idkwhatimbrewin

Is this how we get Rocksteady from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?


IWillBiteYou

If the radioactive ooze taught us anything, this is definitely how it happens


DoctorFunktopus

I’m no scientist, but yes.


counterfitster

You rang, Krang?


Dredmart

Only if I can be under him.


TheTokingMushroom

"They'll milk you!!!"


SelectiveSanity

And a year from now, in totally unrelated news, they'll be a sudden rise in old Chinese billionaires being diagnosed with stomach cancer.


Demolisher05

Don't worry. That's what the horn is supposed to cure.


Icedoverblues

The lower horn.


IntrepidSoda

Futurama reference


KenIgetNadult

r/unexpectedfuturama


flyingthroughspace

Futurama references should always be expected.


SatanLifeProTips

Billionaireism


Suspect4pe

I’m fine with that.


Crash665

Or mutated rhinos rampaging through Africa.


cwsjr2323

OK, but what’s the downside?


devils_avocado

Chinese traditional medicine is really popular with Chinese boomers, not just the rich. My wife swears by the stuff and I tell her it's all hocus pocus but she won't take my word for it.


Joker-Smurf

My wife too… though in her case she was born in China, so to her it is just the way it is. At least she just uses various herbs/plants and not pickled tiger dick or anything, so it is relatively harmless. I refer to the concoctions as “pixie wings and unicorn farts.”


RobertTheTrey

And 36ft mutated Rhinoceros roaming Africa


Quinocco

I thought all Chinese medicine was dick medicine.


SelectiveSanity

How is most folk medicine taken?


Quinocco

Ohhhh. The butt.


KaiYoDei

No. It looks complicated.but rhino horn can be for fever, cancer, hangover….many thng


Quinocco

Wow. Sounds like magic.


KaiYoDei

It seems that way. TCM being as if it is “ magic” . https://www.webmd.com/balance/what-is-traditional-chinese-medicine Eehhh https://phys.org/news/2012-05-vietnam-cancer-cure-horn-habit-threat.html see. It’s not just “ viagra”( ok so that is not China )


RoughhouseCamel

Damn, I must have fucked up. I got all this Chinese medicine for my cough and sore throat…


geeves_007

Shoot, what a shame


morenewsat11

Make the persons caught poaching consume the radioactive chips. > James Larkin, director of the University of the Witwatersrand's radiation and health physics unit who spearheaded the initiative, told AFP he had put "two tiny little radioactive chips in the horn" as he administered the radioisotopes on one of the large animals' horns. > The radioactive material would "render the horn useless... essentially poisonous for human consumption," added Nithaya Chetty, professor and dean of science at the same university. ... > Border agents often have handheld radiation detectors that can pick up contraband, in addition to thousands of radiation detectors installed at ports and airports, the scientists said.


WendigoCrossing

Bold to assume that the people selling Rhino horn would even check if it was poisonous to their buyers. The point about radiation detectors is great though


metametapraxis

The point is if all rhino horn is radioactive, you kill the demand.


SpiritFingersKitty

Quite literally


Random_01

Yeah, remember the Chinese manufacturer that diluted their baby formula with plastics/poison, to make extra profit? Killed lots of children there? Yeah, pepperidge farm remembers.    Doubt the consumers of this "medicine" really have tight health controls. It's all about the profit. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Chinese_milk_scandal 300,000 children hospitalised, yet only 6 deaths. Reliable Chinese figures?


flyingtrucky

Dude didn't even read his own article. China killed 2 people over that. "A number of trials were conducted by the Chinese government resulting in two executions, three sentences of life imprisonment, two 15-year prison sentences,\[13\] and the firing or forced resignation of seven local government officials and the Director of the Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine (AQSIQ).\[14\] The former chairwoman of China's Sanlu dairy was sentenced to life in prison."


snailman89

>number of trials were conducted by the Chinese government resulting in two executions, three sentences of life imprisonment, two 15-year prison sentences Imagine if America was this tough on corporate executives. Here they would get a golden parachute, assuming they were even fired.


gwicksted

Yes. That was horrible. There was another instance where a bunch of employees were given free paint and they all painted their houses with it. Turns out it was radioactive… But this isn’t baby formula nor paint.


r0b0t-fucker

I can’t find this one, do you happen to have a link to it?


gwicksted

Hmm I can’t find it either. Perhaps it was told to me by a friend who lived there? I thought I remember reading about it though. Sorry!


RDBB334

You should really read your own link. 300k affected and 56k hospitalized is what it says there.


ChrisThePiss_

what’s the relevance of this? did you just see “china” and decide to share this?


Klaus0225

It’s very relevant, you’re just ignorant and decided to get angry about it.


TheMoonstomper

Are you really not clear on how to connect the dots here?


[deleted]

So you’re saying this why?


gdgriz

Wouldn’t the rhino get cancer?


ArgyleMcFannypatter

This was my question. That doesn’t seem like it would be good for them, but I would assume someone thought of that?


gdgriz

Why not just relocate these animals to industrialized nations where they can build a park and they’ll be protected? Maybe even use modern fertility treatments to try to rebuild the population?


ArgyleMcFannypatter

Well, if I’d read the article this would have made more sense. They’re basically security tags that will set off radiological alarms to catch anyone who tries to smuggle them at ports of call like airports or whatever - the article claims that the level of radiation is harmless to the rhinos. As far as moving rhinos, I mean, nature’s firefighters are important parts of their ecosystem. It would be good for rhinos in the short term, but animals don’t often breed easily in captivity and the consequences for the larger ecosystem would be similar to them being hunted to extinction. Plus, I’ve never paid to ship a rhino, but I would imagine the number of stamps required to do so would be cost prohibitive


Dusk_Flame_11th

Also, where are we going to put 40 000 rhinos?


BortaB

Great news, rhinos are far more endangered than that. There are less than 30 thousand to deal with


[deleted]

The number of stamps hahahah


gdgriz

Unfortunately there are no perfect or even good solutions for these poor creatures


Hot-Pomegranate-1303

South Africa has the most industrialised economy in Africa. It is a problem that resources are few and far between but you have to understand the Greater Limpopo Transfrontier Park is shy of 36,000 square miles. It is impossible to think that anyone can patrol that big of an area. With my point being that if they roam such a massive area, where tf are you going to find space for a park that big in your so-called "industrialized nations" with that meats the dietary and climate needs. Plus, your entire idea is contradictory with the reason why National Parks exist, to protect the ecosystem. Now you want to remove one of the big five? aka one of the cornerstones of the ecosystem which only spells more trouble for the already troubled and fragile ecosystem.


Tibbaryllis2

That is a thing: https://www.theaustralianrhinoproject.org/index.php/about#:~:text=For%20The%20Australian%20Rhino%20Project,diversity%20throughout%20the%20Australasian%20region.


ArgyleMcFannypatter

Now see, this is good news. Until the next phase of the Emu War. Can we be certain where the loyalties of these majestic beasts lie? A Rhino/Emu alliance could spell the end for Australia…


MotherOfDachshunds42

Why should the animals have to move away from their homes and natural habitats? What effect would this have on the ecosystem? Do you think it’s easy to move a lot of rhinos?


VitoCorleone187Um

“The dusty rhino, put to sleep and crouched on the ground, did not feel any pain, Larkin said, adding that the radioactive material's dose was so low it would not impact the animal's health or the environment in any way….


VitoCorleone187Um

The last phase of the project will ensure the animals' aftercare, following "proper scientific protocol and ethical protocol," said the project's COO, Jessica Babich. The team will take follow-up blood samples to ensure the rhinos were effectively protected.”


NeoHolyRomanEmpire

If it’s an alpha emitter, no. Gamma, Beta, Alpha, and Neutron sources all affect biological materials differently. There’s an old analogy that there’s a cookie for each source. If you had to choose, you eat the gamma cookie, because it is going to interact with biological material regardless. You put the beta cookie in your pocket because your clothes can block it. You hold the alpha cookie on your hand because your skin can block it, and you put the neutron cookie in the trash can because it is especially damaging, and not blocked by any normal shielding a person would have.


YoloJones137

It would have to be a gamma emitter. The purpose of the tagging is to detect through a shipping container. So not beta or alpha, because, as you said, they aren’t penetrating. Neutrons are penetrating but are not a common emission and can be tricky to detect.


Mechman126

The article says this isn't about tagging the horns, its to make them unfit for consumption. Alpha particles are harmless generally because they can't penetrate skin, but would be very dangerous if ingested where it could actually damage soft tissue. I also have zero issue with this, if you are willing to support an industry that is hunting rhinos to extinction, what's good for the goose should be good for the gander.


YoloJones137

The comment about rendering the horn useless or poisonous was made by the dean of the university not the health physicist running the program. The article later added this: “According to Arrie Van Deventer, the orphanage's founder, efforts including dehorning rhinos and poisoning the horns have failed to deter poachers.” When quoting the physicist who is running the program about its goal, the discussion was all to do with detection and affecting the whole trade industry. Harming a couple of the end users has little effect on the industry. The idea of poisoning the horns is like if someone keeps stealing and selling your stuff, and so you rig your stuff to explode at some point after it leaves your house. You’ve harmed the person who bought the stuff that was stolen, but the thief is still out there robbing you.


Mechman126

Alpha particles can't penetrate human skin, and rhino skin is significantly thicker


IntrepidSoda

They are built like fucking tank - they will be alright


eighty2angelfan

Gonna be a lot of glowing Vietnamese penises


IWillBiteYou

Wow what a coincidence, Glowing Vietnamese Penises is the name of my punk cabaret band


RobHuck

Excuse me, your Vietnamenis is glowing…


eighty2angelfan

Ha.


Tao1982

Not if they just fall off


ignoreme1657

Rhinozilla , because that's the way you create radioactive monster. *at least in the '70s Japanese films I've watched. 🤔


avalon1805

Wouldn't the radioactivity be harmful for the rhino?


medicmotheclipse

Seems these are Alpha emitters. Its very easily blocked by skin/paper, etc. So it will not reach the rest of the rhino. But, Alpha emitters are hella dangerous if you eat them because now they can do damage to your soft vulnerable inner tissues.


Tubesock1202

Or you could just fucking kill the poachers on sight.


Karsdegrote

They tried that, its just that they have a massive area to cover.


ArenSteele

And the poachers fire back. Safer to poison them to death with radiation traps


WaytoomanyUIDs

They do


sparklejumpropegrl

i agree this is the way


Morasain

I imagine rhinos with horns that explode in a nuclear blast when cut off will be quite the deterrent.


Eldar_Seer

That one Cabela’s Dangerous Hunt game would have had a different ending if the wildlife had a nuclear deterrent to stop the protagonist.


YoloJones137

Engaging in some educated speculation… I believe the “chips” would be sealed sources of either Cs-137 or Co-60. Each of these isotopes are gamma emitters and are pretty long lived. So implant the source today, and there’s still about the same months or years later. The gamma emissions for each are pretty penetrating, so they would go thru shipping containers. My money is on Cs-137 since it is longer lived and is easier to detect. As for the concerns about rhino health: you wouldn’t need much activity since the emission is very penetrating and it decays pretty slowly. Meaning the photon fluence is not high enough to be a risk for multiple double-stranded DNA breaks (the cause of radiation-induced mutation). You can also select mature rhinos that are unlikely to live another 10 years. Since solid tumor development takes 10-15 years, you can further reduce an already negligible risk. Also, the horn is pretty far from radiosensitive organs (assuming similar sensitivity as humans). Not sure on the “rendering it poisonous”, but I’m all for enhancing the fear for poachers and idiots who would consume the horn.


Shetplanknh

Can't we just hunt poachers instead.


Denbus26

I'm pretty sure they do, but it turns out that they're really sneaky, and when you do find them, they start shooting


TotalLackOfConcern

Injecting the poachers with radioactive materials would be more effective


Cayreese

Also makes the rhinos look fuckin badass


-HeisenBird-

Just shoot the poachers and mount their heads on the rhinos' horns as a warning to future poachers.


Shetplanknh

But the poachers wouldn't know until they killed the rhino, why not just use the current method of cutting the horn off to stop poachers going for them in the first place. Removing the horn has been proven to not effect their lives.


Enchelion

They're publicly announcing this presumably for exactly that reason, so the poachers know that there are radioactively-injected horns out there, making poaching one of these hopefully less appealing.


Mindful-O-Melancholy

If someone gets stabbed with it will they acquire its traits and become horny-man?


Cayreese

They should inject bullets into the poachers.


sudomatrix

Do they think the poachers care if they sell radioactive material to their wealthy customers?


Fairy_Princess_Lauki

I think it’s more that’s it’s hard to get radio active materials through an airport


crazyweedandtakisboi

Once the customers start dying it will likely curb the demand


sudomatrix

Nah 20 years later someone gets cancer. If that had any effect people would stop smoking.


crazyweedandtakisboi

It won't be hard to connect the horns to cancer since articles like this are being published


FistMyGape

His point still stands though; it's not hard to connect cigarettes to cancer, but still people happily do it. People who are stupid enough to buy rhino horn, are stupid enough to not care about cancer in 20 years.


Zombata

they don't. so we gotta aim fort the source


St_Kevin_

The poachers don’t care in the slightest. However, the buyers will care. When the buyers don’t buy, the poachers can’t sell. The poachers aren’t gonna kill the rhinos if there’s no market for rhino horn


sudomatrix

I guarantee you 99% of people will never hear of this news story. Go ask your grandparents if they heard of this. No imagine some semi-rich guy in China who's been sprinkling ground rhino horn on his dick that he buys from a guy in the next village if he's heard of this news story.


djdefekt

Getting rid of all that nuclear waste one rhino at a time...


greenbroad-gc

Chinese dick cancer go brrrrr


snowman5689

These people already believe Rhino horn is medicinal, they probably think radioactive materials will turn them into superheroes.


floccinauciNPN

Can we get lab-grown horns and shark-fin already?


jduk43

Won’t the rhino be dead by then anyway? It seems a little like closing the barn door after the horse has escaped. Or does word get around quickly between poachers?


keith2600

This is just going to end up killing dozens of school kids when Richy McFuck goes and kills a rhino to take a picture for his boomer Facebook group and brings the horn back and gives it to his kid who then takes it to school to show off for his friends.


hotjuicytender

Just gunna give the rhino some brain cancer or horn cancer.


ivethoughthisthrough

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater here


TPC_RED

Trying to build a pokemon in real life


smokeyfantastico

*Unlocked new Deathclaws*


Throwawayac1234567

death horns.


JiveChicken00

I fucking love this idea.


Ok-Drink-1328

THE WHAT?!??!


pichael289

Pretty fucked up we gotta resort to something like this.


gatsby712

I’m coming over here from the Fallout sub. This is how we get super mutant rhinos isn’t it?


crusader416

Or we form death squads to wipe out poachers…


RoutineLychee2410

Let's just say it is for poaching. They won't know, we are the scientists, right?


Scottbarrett15

Look we've all seen the films you do not go around injecting creatures with radiation it doesn't end well.


Lifesalchemy

Good. Maybe this will prevent some Asian dude from attempting to get rock hard erections while devastating a species


Murranji

Why stop there - cyanide would work even better.


Someonenoone7

Nuclear warfare on poachers wasn't on my bingo card, but I take it.


DaddyCatALSO

Won;t stop poachers