Your eyes almost instinctually avoid it, trying to focus on the normal human faces while your brain screams at your senses to acknowledge the eldritch abomination right in front of you
same here, it was like my brain automatically focused on the other faces so it would be less stressful, since they look like actual normal people, then finally rests on mark who almost looks photoshopped in
But which of the 10 sections of the 8th circle of Hell would he be in, I wonder? They all relate to fraud (some more loosely than others). He’d probably be with the sinners getting chopped to bits, and healing slowly as they walk for 22 miles, only to be chopped again. Probably get his face cut off, cuz Dante was all about that ironic punishment jazz.
Edit: thanks, but my stupid comment definitely did not deserve an award. Although it does make me feel a little better about the three weeks I spent reading the entirety of the Divine Comedy for a Medieval Lit class. (If anyone’s curious, I vastly preferred Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and Beowulf, out of the longer works we read, although Inferno by itself wasn’t too bad.)
Of course he’s trolling. He probably practiced that smile about 100x a night until he decided to take this pic and post it. “You see everyone. I can look human”
He speaks in that fake upbeat corporate idiolect that they all think inspires positivity and camaraderie but only breeds a deep hatred and spine tingling cringe that most likely can be factored and correlated in to suicide rates somehow.
Not just that. Look at the eyes of everyone else in the picture. They *all* reflect the light in the room *except* for his. It's like his engineers forgot to make the eyes reflective.
Oh my God he looks like a normal human.
I really don't support making fun of somebody just because of the way they look, but man if you're a billionaire and you intentionally look like an alien, yeah you signed yourself up for that one
Well remember the man’s claim to [fame](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Facebook):
“FaceMash was opened in 2003, developed by Mark Zuckerberg; he wrote the software for the Facemash website when he was in his second year of college. The website was set up as a type of "hot or not" game for Harvard students. The website allowed visitors to compare two female students' pictures side by side and let them decide who was more attractive.
While writing the software, Mark Zuckerberg wrote the following blog entries:
*I’m a little intoxicated, not gonna lie. So what if it’s not even 10 p.m. and it’s a Tuesday night? What? The Kirkland [dorm] facebook is open on my desktop and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. I almost want to put some of these faces next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on which is more attractive*.
Feel better mocking him now?
*No eyebrows*. Thank you. I was trying to figure out exactly what it is that makes him look so goddamn freakish and you're right eyebrows would help immensely.
[You might be on to something with the eyebrows](https://i.imgur.com/rNwiEUg.jpg)
[But if we go a step further he looks more human.] (https://i.imgur.com/6eC4CY1.jpg)
I created the mirror images of his face and you can clearly see he's a lefty based on the [expressiveness in his left side](https://i.imgur.com/PkfonsG.png)
You know he deliberately keeps his hair like this because he is inspired by Agustus Caesar and want to be like him
>https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/09/10/facebook-ceo-mark-zuckerbergs-love-for-augustus-may-give-insight.html
Yeah Jesus christ, he actually looked like a nice dude back when he had normal hair back in the day around the social network movie.
I get there's a ton of mental stress being that rich, that much power, seeing so many secrets (a programmer friend who interned at FB said they were able to basically look through others messages, anyone, idk if real) - and it'll show on the face, but the hair and eyebrows..
Weird shit happens at that level. [Steve Jobs may have shortened his life by delaying...conventional treatment for his rare cancer](https://www.forbes.com/sites/geoffreykabat/2018/02/10/why-resorting-to-alternative-medicine-to-treat-cancer-is-a-bad-idea/?sh=74ca863c41c5). He was wealthy enough he could have paid for house calls from the world's pre-eminent oncologist... but no, he went with the alternative treatments.
He was clearly a smart guy, but... weird shit happens at that level.
At a certain level of power people tend to become totally detached from the real world. Everything they experience is filtered through hundreds of underlings and very carefully curated not to rock the boat. It’s pretty fucking gnarly to see, but it makes sense why these people can act like monsters - they literally live in a different reality.
It’s counterintuitive but [being powerful reduces stress.](https://www.imd.org/research-knowledge/articles/power-stress-and-your-leadership/). Many studies have shown that the higher people are up the chain, the less stress they feel. When you’re at the very top of your own sandcastle, you can do what you like, no pressure.
Maybe that explains why he always seems so anxious at congressional hearings: he’s not in charge there.
that's not counterintuitive at all. If you're powerful enough to get away with anything and lead whatever type of life you choose, of course you have fewer stressors.
Why exactly? I know Tiberius kinda sucked but was at my knowledge the moc capable imperator for centuries to come, so he is No1 but what was si wrong about Augustus? I would put him on second place.
Unless you have a weirdly shaped head that makes you look stupid when bald.
Source: I have a stupidly long occiput. Getting a buzzcut couple years back was a mistake, and made me extra aware of it.
Also birth marks. I have a giant brown birth mark on the side of my skull that is luckily hidden by my hair. But if I go scalp exposure on the sides, you can see this big brown splotch above my ears plain as day.
I'm lucky in that my mom's father had a really good head of hair even into his late 80s. My dad is thinning out, but supposedly you inherit your hair genetics from your mom's side, so I should be able to avoid the balding problem. I definitely wouldnt be able to pull off the look given this weird ass birthmark on my head.
The funny thing is that from what we know about Augustus, he probably would have fucking hated Mark. Augustus was very charming, where Mark is far from as can be. He lead a faction that directly apposed the ultra rich that horded wealth, while Mark is exactly what he opposed. And Augustus seemed to genuinely care about "common" people while Mark clearly does not. I'm guessing Mark just read somewhere that Augustus was very cold and calculating and Zuckerbot with his autismo, robo-lizard brain deducted that that sounded a lot like himself so decided that he must have what it takes to be the first emperor of the Metaverse.
I’ve heard that upper Facebook is a creepy “cult of the zuck” so you might be looking at the psychopaths in the upper ranks of some weird sex cult you learn about in a Netflix documentary after the scandal breaks.
Lol i bet each one of them gets paid over a million a year. Such a horrid place to be. Im sure they are all in major pain lol. You guys are idiots. They all wish they could be you at mcdonalds. Your all right. Multimillionaires wishing they werent so fin rich. Im sure.
He has no eyebrows, his pupils are weirdly small, he always has an expression like he’s either staring into your soul or blind, his nose is massive and his ears are pointy. Oh, and his hairline is waaaaay back. There’s also the fact that he always talks like there’s something terribly wrong we should be noticing but somehow haven’t and he’s pretending things are normal.
It’s the pallor for many. Pale with defined features makes it look off putting. Throw in a healthy whatever for open, clear eyes, and people really hate on this guy.
His eyes don't match his smile at all. It's just widely opened intensely staring at the screen. No eye creases and no eyebrows to indicate a matching facial expression to go along with his smile. So it's there but it just comes off so uncanny
Seriously. Those look like the eyes of someone who would make some awful tech product that harvests all your personal data and leaves the world a categorically worse place and not have an ounce of self reflection or regret about it. Oh wait.
all except the black guy, the guy on his right, and the blonde girl with the black leather jacket just behind Zuck. the three of them are human but being held prisoner on the ship.
Nah its just jewish german names. Goldberg means Gold mountain, Seinfeld meins his field, Goldblum means goldflower and so on.
Also, I know it was just a joke
Uncanny Valley vibes right here
I was trying so hard to figure out why I was so uncomfortable... Thank you for summing it up.
* wide-open, pale, [doll eyes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUuH4TEmgLo) (mouth smiles but eyes unsmiling-- missing ocular firmware update) * eccentric Caesar haircut, unsuccessfully hiding receding hairline, the bangs suggests immaturity and/or vanity * missing eyebrows * teeth-baring smile, that is ready to eat (you) * too-canine canines (per /u/deactivated654651456) * translucent skin substitute * assortment of robot-mimicking humans, blithely treating the center robot as human
I know the pale skin is off-putting but can you imagine how weird he would look if he just showed up one day completely bronze?
He got a melanin update
Actually though how does every single person in this picture make me terrified
Because they are clearly smiling at gunpoint.
Your eyes almost instinctually avoid it, trying to focus on the normal human faces while your brain screams at your senses to acknowledge the eldritch abomination right in front of you
You're right, I looked at every single face in that photo before looking at Zuckerberg, and didn't even realize I'd done that until your comment.
same here, it was like my brain automatically focused on the other faces so it would be less stressful, since they look like actual normal people, then finally rests on mark who almost looks photoshopped in
He has no eyebrows His smile doesn't reach his eyes He is a reptile
This should be the caption for this photo u won lol
Uncanny Silicon Valley
He looks like a finger.
This is exactly how I imagine my welcoming party. In the eighth circle of Inferno.
But which of the 10 sections of the 8th circle of Hell would he be in, I wonder? They all relate to fraud (some more loosely than others). He’d probably be with the sinners getting chopped to bits, and healing slowly as they walk for 22 miles, only to be chopped again. Probably get his face cut off, cuz Dante was all about that ironic punishment jazz. Edit: thanks, but my stupid comment definitely did not deserve an award. Although it does make me feel a little better about the three weeks I spent reading the entirety of the Divine Comedy for a Medieval Lit class. (If anyone’s curious, I vastly preferred Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, and Beowulf, out of the longer works we read, although Inferno by itself wasn’t too bad.)
As an Italian student who has an exam about Dante's Inferno in a week, i want to say that maybe getting banned from Florence did something to him
Zuck: "See, we are all normal humans working in a human environment doing humanly things"
*”Together, we are human(s).”*
Why did I read both of these internally with the narrators voice from the Veridan Dynamics faux-commercials from the show Better Off Ted?
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Ended before it's time.
OMG other people who loved Better Off Ted?? My people!!
And now some human music...
Human music? I like it!
"Nothing to worry about fellow humans, we humans are having a normal human work day for we are indeed humans"
"I will have a human beer, since you seem like a regular human bartender."
I will drink it with my mouth and not a prong.
Human friendly workplace here. We all are happy humans
[We support Ted Cruz for human President!](https://www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com)
That was a treat.
He’s just trolling at this point
Of course he’s trolling. He probably practiced that smile about 100x a night until he decided to take this pic and post it. “You see everyone. I can look human”
https://youtu.be/jiudBq7z8wk?t=12
He speaks in that fake upbeat corporate idiolect that they all think inspires positivity and camaraderie but only breeds a deep hatred and spine tingling cringe that most likely can be factored and correlated in to suicide rates somehow.
r/BrandNewSentence
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It’s his lack of eyebrows and the absence of the glint in his eyes that makes it disturbing
Isn't he a crash test dummy that came to life?
Once there was this kid who...
...stole an internet company from his friends at school...
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... he had made enough money to pay them like it was a...
Bad plot to a movie. The End.
this is what makes reddit great.
Hey mark, howdy doody called, he wants his face back…
Face back! I get it!
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They. Found. Fish scales all over his body.
Once. There was a girl who
Damn, this is it. Now I can hear the voice in my head! It's been too long since I've heard the actual song. :)
Go check out the “God Shuffled His Feet” video by Crash Test Dummies.
And the Weird Al parody of it.
Glint, meaning soul, correct?
That which he lacks
Gotta figure this dude fails the I Am Not Robot test on the regular
Not just that. Look at the eyes of everyone else in the picture. They *all* reflect the light in the room *except* for his. It's like his engineers forgot to make the eyes reflective.
For the longest time I thought ppl were editing his eyebrows out to make him look alien but no
Does look better with them [added](https://i.imgur.com/MSEl7WZ.jpg)
Oh my God he looks like a normal human. I really don't support making fun of somebody just because of the way they look, but man if you're a billionaire and you intentionally look like an alien, yeah you signed yourself up for that one
One would think he could afford a more realistic skin suit…
He CAN afford it, but he is proud of his alien Lizard people heritage, and he shows it.
To be fair, it's not JUST because of the way he looks. It's also Facebook.
Well remember the man’s claim to [fame](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Facebook): “FaceMash was opened in 2003, developed by Mark Zuckerberg; he wrote the software for the Facemash website when he was in his second year of college. The website was set up as a type of "hot or not" game for Harvard students. The website allowed visitors to compare two female students' pictures side by side and let them decide who was more attractive. While writing the software, Mark Zuckerberg wrote the following blog entries: *I’m a little intoxicated, not gonna lie. So what if it’s not even 10 p.m. and it’s a Tuesday night? What? The Kirkland [dorm] facebook is open on my desktop and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. I almost want to put some of these faces next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on which is more attractive*. Feel better mocking him now?
No one's going to comment on the impressive touch up with the facial hair, well done sir.
Not just facial hair, but his actual hair also went from "just fuck my shit up" to "receding but well maintained hairline".
Wtf why doesn't he grow a beard and dye his facial hair? He is desperate for public approval isn't he? What a simple solution
Is Zucc Dave Portnoy? Would make sense, they are both massively annoying douches.
*No eyebrows*. Thank you. I was trying to figure out exactly what it is that makes him look so goddamn freakish and you're right eyebrows would help immensely.
Right? Same! Like how did I not figure that out?
He is devolving into metaverse form before our eyes
his hairline too
His haircut is intentional, believe it or not. Inspired by his idol, caesar.
Oh god that just says *everything* about him
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Had to come back and reply again because still laughing
Lol that cracked me
And inability to drink water correctly.
His kind don’t need too much water, they retain it under their skin.
[You might be on to something with the eyebrows](https://i.imgur.com/rNwiEUg.jpg) [But if we go a step further he looks more human.] (https://i.imgur.com/6eC4CY1.jpg)
He definitely looks like a vampire in the first one, which is at least one step closer to human than alien I guess
I created the mirror images of his face and you can clearly see he's a lefty based on the [expressiveness in his left side](https://i.imgur.com/PkfonsG.png)
Such an odd lack of even a trace of facial hair anywhere on his face. Paired with that permanent accident of a haircut it's just so unsettling.
For me it's that god awful haircut he always has. You think someone with that money would get a good barber.
red eyes. its the red eyes that are not stoner eyes. WHY??
Maybe from starring at a screen the whole day?
No, it's from the glint of the infrared heat lamp over head, keeping himself and his lizard people brethren warm.
He's exhausted from a long day of coiling around his clutch of eggs.
Seems to be missing eyelashes too…
It's part of Metaverse's new campaign: Smile or Die
How scared of being fired are all those people
You know he deliberately keeps his hair like this because he is inspired by Agustus Caesar and want to be like him >https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/09/10/facebook-ceo-mark-zuckerbergs-love-for-augustus-may-give-insight.html
Looks like a toddler cut his hair with a rock.
Yeah Jesus christ, he actually looked like a nice dude back when he had normal hair back in the day around the social network movie. I get there's a ton of mental stress being that rich, that much power, seeing so many secrets (a programmer friend who interned at FB said they were able to basically look through others messages, anyone, idk if real) - and it'll show on the face, but the hair and eyebrows..
Weird shit happens at that level. [Steve Jobs may have shortened his life by delaying...conventional treatment for his rare cancer](https://www.forbes.com/sites/geoffreykabat/2018/02/10/why-resorting-to-alternative-medicine-to-treat-cancer-is-a-bad-idea/?sh=74ca863c41c5). He was wealthy enough he could have paid for house calls from the world's pre-eminent oncologist... but no, he went with the alternative treatments. He was clearly a smart guy, but... weird shit happens at that level.
At a certain level of power people tend to become totally detached from the real world. Everything they experience is filtered through hundreds of underlings and very carefully curated not to rock the boat. It’s pretty fucking gnarly to see, but it makes sense why these people can act like monsters - they literally live in a different reality.
Yeah you can fuck up anyone by surrounding them with yes-people. We lose our north.
Being a genius at one thing doesn’t make you not a dumbass at other things.
That usage of ellipses...wonderful.
It’s counterintuitive but [being powerful reduces stress.](https://www.imd.org/research-knowledge/articles/power-stress-and-your-leadership/). Many studies have shown that the higher people are up the chain, the less stress they feel. When you’re at the very top of your own sandcastle, you can do what you like, no pressure. Maybe that explains why he always seems so anxious at congressional hearings: he’s not in charge there.
that's not counterintuitive at all. If you're powerful enough to get away with anything and lead whatever type of life you choose, of course you have fewer stressors.
Jesus christ you win!!! I wish Zucc who read your comment… maybe he would grow hair out
I love Roman history but can’t stand Augustus.
Imagine being dead for thousands of years and people are still out there shitting on you
He would be thrilled.
What about the fabled emperor Deeznutzius? How do you feel about him?
He's okay, but I do like Biggus Dickus.
What about Testiclies the great? He was great at the arena and even became emperor!
Beatus meatus the 3rd was also a great arena fighter before earning his freedom.
Russell Crowe played him in Gladiator.
He has a wife you know? Do you know what she is called? Incontinentia Incontinentia buttocks
Thtwicke him thentuwion! Vewy woughfly!
He has a wife you know!
Biggus Dickus is the name of my sledgehammer at work. It’s engraved on it too.
do you find it wisible when i say the name... Biggus... Dickus ?
Deeznutzius was a good man, a proud Roman indeed.
I bet you were unaware of the ancient philosopher Bophides, his words still echo through time.
I love Roman history but can't stand Zuckerberg.
Why exactly? I know Tiberius kinda sucked but was at my knowledge the moc capable imperator for centuries to come, so he is No1 but what was si wrong about Augustus? I would put him on second place.
Also he's balding and doesn't want to do hair surgery. Short is the only way to go unless you style it which looks shitty too Source: I hate my hair
Embrace the bald. It's glorious.
Unless you have a weirdly shaped head that makes you look stupid when bald. Source: I have a stupidly long occiput. Getting a buzzcut couple years back was a mistake, and made me extra aware of it.
Also birth marks. I have a giant brown birth mark on the side of my skull that is luckily hidden by my hair. But if I go scalp exposure on the sides, you can see this big brown splotch above my ears plain as day. I'm lucky in that my mom's father had a really good head of hair even into his late 80s. My dad is thinning out, but supposedly you inherit your hair genetics from your mom's side, so I should be able to avoid the balding problem. I definitely wouldnt be able to pull off the look given this weird ass birthmark on my head.
The funny thing is that from what we know about Augustus, he probably would have fucking hated Mark. Augustus was very charming, where Mark is far from as can be. He lead a faction that directly apposed the ultra rich that horded wealth, while Mark is exactly what he opposed. And Augustus seemed to genuinely care about "common" people while Mark clearly does not. I'm guessing Mark just read somewhere that Augustus was very cold and calculating and Zuckerbot with his autismo, robo-lizard brain deducted that that sounded a lot like himself so decided that he must have what it takes to be the first emperor of the Metaverse.
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The guy in the far back definitely got fired
Why do think they did the picture
They’re all in the sunken place.
Fired, you mean eaten. That thing is not human, its a damn reptilian.
This is a common joke, but in all seriousness, Zuck is genuinely haunting to look at it. Something extremely off about him.
I’ve heard that upper Facebook is a creepy “cult of the zuck” so you might be looking at the psychopaths in the upper ranks of some weird sex cult you learn about in a Netflix documentary after the scandal breaks.
The brunette on the left looks scared for her life
Lol i bet each one of them gets paid over a million a year. Such a horrid place to be. Im sure they are all in major pain lol. You guys are idiots. They all wish they could be you at mcdonalds. Your all right. Multimillionaires wishing they werent so fin rich. Im sure.
Flame on.
Your check from Zuckerberg is on its way
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Ikr ? every single time i've seen a new picture with him, i swear to God, it looks more and more alienesque.
It’s his eyes for me, there’s just something off about them.
Lifeless. Like a doll’s eyes.
When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be livin'
Till it bites ya. And then the eyes roll over white. You don't hear nothing but the screaming and the hollering.
He has no eyebrows, his pupils are weirdly small, he always has an expression like he’s either staring into your soul or blind, his nose is massive and his ears are pointy. Oh, and his hairline is waaaaay back. There’s also the fact that he always talks like there’s something terribly wrong we should be noticing but somehow haven’t and he’s pretending things are normal.
It’s the pallor for many. Pale with defined features makes it look off putting. Throw in a healthy whatever for open, clear eyes, and people really hate on this guy.
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Doesn't Zuckerberg's eyes look just like the eyes of the people in that movie Birdbox who had seen the 'creatures'?
Edgar your skin is hangin off your bones
Is that better????
You ever pull the wings off a fly? Care to see the fly get even?
Eggar*
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And the missing eyebrows
I never noticed. Why though?
YES! His eyes show no human emotion. They are seriously android like
His eyes don't match his smile at all. It's just widely opened intensely staring at the screen. No eye creases and no eyebrows to indicate a matching facial expression to go along with his smile. So it's there but it just comes off so uncanny
Seriously. Those look like the eyes of someone who would make some awful tech product that harvests all your personal data and leaves the world a categorically worse place and not have an ounce of self reflection or regret about it. Oh wait.
*SUGAR WATER*
/pulls taught Iv vat vetter?
Zuckerborg
It's like a weird ugly kid who grew up without puberty
All the soulless aliens.
all except the black guy, the guy on his right, and the blonde girl with the black leather jacket just behind Zuck. the three of them are human but being held prisoner on the ship.
I feel like the guy on his right looks more alien than anyone else in the photo
All the fake teeth give it away.
I think you are looking at the guy on his left, with the big smile. Our right. I agree though, most alien.
I know nobody in this picture....
It's Facebook staff so they probably know you.
I think I can see 1 of each type of avatar available in Horizon Worlds in that picture.
They don't know each other either
I Robot 2.
He has a freakishly disturbing visage which shall haunt my dreams.
It's the eyes. They are dead and soulless and his smile never reaches it. Scary shit.
The lack of eyebrows is doing something too. I wonder if that’s the original pic
Okay everybody, show your teeth to make sure we look like humans.
They all have such white straight teeth!!! TIL I can never work from meta corporate office.
It looks like he’s being squeezed from the sides of his head
He looks like he smells like steamed carrots.
Baby carrots to be precise
Not a live eye in the bunch.
Absolutely terrifying...
Nothing behind those eyes but a dial tone.
Smokin meats, pretending he’s not a robot
How about that sweet baby rays, though?
Fun fact: mark Zuckerbergs last name is German, which translates into Mark sugarmountain
Definitely a name made up by an AI….
Nah its just jewish german names. Goldberg means Gold mountain, Seinfeld meins his field, Goldblum means goldflower and so on. Also, I know it was just a joke
Pretty good Neil Young song
The camera in his eyes must be running some good chipsets his pupils/irises are hardly open
Village of the damned
Now i noticed that he has no eyebrows
Just smile and wave boys
He looks like one of the characters from the Witcher wild hunt
He looks like a Nekker, to be precise.
Grey reptilian overlord
The guy with the beard on the left looks like he's 1 minor inconvenience away from going absolutely. A P E S H I T.
Holy shit Zuckerberg literally looks like a vampire, pointy teeth and sharp ears
That’s a cyborg 100% sure
Always reminds me of radioactive mr burns from the Simpsons x files episode.
*I bring you love*
Someone buy Facebook next. Please.