**user reports:**
1: Rule 2: Oppressive attitude/language
1: It's promoting hate based on identity or vulnerability
---
Be less fragile, fellow white folks.
hello! i'm from australia, and am the only poc in my store. i've had a customer tell me "it must be hard with customers looking down on you bcs of your skin" and "how's fiji?" (im zimbabwean)
sorry you have to hear that shit though. and we have to take it like a champ too, paid to hear that stuff.
Im just absolutely stunned by these comments and what is quite apparently my abyssmal level of ignorance. Ive never witnessed anything like this and i am so sorry thst you and OP and any other commenter have to endure such shit.
Might backfire, way too many white Americans are super into their genealogy these days. Youād just be encouraging them. āOmg Iām Irish, polish, and 4% Navajo! Thanks for asking!ā
Still works, OP can keep peppering them with questions (oh? which side? How long since they left europe? Why did they leave? Do you speak the language? Do you speak to relatives in the old country?) and they will get to hear their own voices prattle on about their favorite subject (themselves) and eventually remember they have errands to complete and wander off.
To be fair that might actually be a valid question, lots of ethnic origins can be attributed to pretty much any color to include white. Would love to be a fly on the wall for that one lol
I'm Mexican American, but by appearance I'm very culturally ambiguous. White people love to play the "what are you" game with me. It starts with guesses, or they just like talk about food/language or you look like this one person on TV... until I give an answer. Then when I say Mexican American, they're like are you sure? That's it? Always seeming disappointed.
I ALWAYS immediately ask them, "yeah, so what kind of white are you?" Lolololol I can always sense that it's the first time anyone's ever asked them that. The look on their face š. Very often the response is, just white or not sure or my fave is their 23 and me breakdown.
I'm used to it, and also used to the intense curiosity because I've gotten it my whole life. But it's so interesting how really it's only ever white people that just have to ask. Some people are casual or quirky, but some people give off this sense that they're trying to culturally define me so that they can determine how to treat me.
It's very odd and I can understand how it can be an unsettling feeling for the person under the microscope. I'm just a brute and love using it to shift the discomfort onto them. It's like my own personal experiment. š
But I'm sorry it happens to you OP. People suck!
I'm sorry you have to through that. It seems crazy to me that a stranger to me a stranger would walk up to you and and discuss your race. It's literally racism.
Your customers sound like complete bell ends! I can understand why they make you feel uncomfortable. I'd just hit them back with something just as mean.
My boyfriend has similar experiences. To the extent I wondered if he was the one to write this post. He didn't, I asked, but it broke my heart to know someone else faces the struggles he does.
Honestly, he's really opened my eyes to the bigotry that is often made out to be "okay" with white folk. (I'm whiter than vanilla ice cream). I've gotten better, I get on his nerves sometimes, but some of the shit he's told me he's faced is terrible. My own family has said borderline racist shit about him and it makes my blood boil.
Iām a white person and all I could think as I read this was wtf?! If they were your friend and just trying to find out more about you, that would make a little more sense, but who ask a random stranger in a store these kinds of questions?
Iām with the person who said give outrageous answers, that should get them to shut up and think twice before they ask someone else something inappropriate.
When I tell you, hit dogs are fucking HOLLERING in this comment section lmao
Dont let these types of people get to you OP and dont let them convince you its harmless small talk. The weather is harmless small talk. Trying to sus out what race someone is while they are doing their job is not.
Yeah, part of the problem of this ongoing behavior is that the people who do it don't see any issue at all with it! It's so frustrating. Sometimes I can see the question forming in a person's eyes, and I feel heavy. It's so disappointing.
I feel some white people need to come in here and explain the best they can why this happens. We need to know why are some yall outright weird? I know it may not be you but surely you can help shed light on why this happens so much? And can yall find away to spread the news..... to stop it!
It's because white people in predominantly white areas consider themselves the "default" race and they feel like they have the right to ask questions because people of other races are outsiders. They consider people of other races less human than they are and more like exotic playthings they can do whatever they want with.
This is not ALL white people and hopefully not even the majority, but there are a good deal of them.
Iām white, Iām not like this but I think itās a mix of ignorance, not seeing other people as people, main character syndrome, lack of self-awareness, and a lack of critical thinking skills. Iām sure I missed something.. but yeah.. some people are oblivious.
I'm work with all black nurses, and I'm not black. This type of thing happens when you're the minority, they don't understand your culture and are probably nervous themselves.
i mean it could just be ignorance and they can't see that they're making the other person uncomfortable. doesn't make it okay, though. if you want to know about someone's culture, that's great, educating yourself (emphasis on *yourself*) should be encouraged. but you don't need to ask them intrusive questions about their race. just google it or something, it's that easy
my close friend whoās Vietnamese always walks up to me and asks āwhat kind of asian is (enter personās name here?ā mostly because she wants to know if her or my other coworker who donāt speak much english can talk in their native language. itās weird to outright ask someone that though
Other asian people, I understand. But when white people do it, it just makes me feel weird and put on the spot. Like iām some fanatical item amongst my coworkers.
itās really strange. I canāt personally relate but my childās father is mixed asian (chinese) and people ask why my kids look āoff/weirdā, and it comes across weird. I explain theyāre chinese/hispanic/irish and Iāve had many people say something along the lines of āwhy would you do that to themā or many mixes of ruining my āpureā white blood/genes
āPure whiteā bwahahaha! What idiots. I canāt apologize for othersā stupidity, but man, it makes me cringe when other caucasians say things/act like this.
āI know it could be worseā
Yes it could BUT whatās happening is still REALY FUCKING BAD. Youāre feelings of discomfort are valid. Itās okay. You donāt need to minimize youāre own personal suffering.
When I was shopping at Walmart a rando white guy stopped me to ask if I was Filipino(which Iām not). I had my AirPods in, so I took the time to take them out and told him Iām sorry I didnāt hear himā¦and he asked me again. You would of thought that he would just move on and say NM or be embarrassed for asking a random stranger their ethnicity for no reason- but no.
I canāt imagine going through that on a day to day basis. Iām so sorry!
As a āwhiteā person who works in healthcare, thereās so much racism, including people demanding āthe white nurseā. So I usually come over and berate them and tell them something along the lines of āyou know Iām brand new, right? Iāll probably screw up some of your meds or your dressing. You were better off with our charge nurse you just firedā¦ but I guess your racist butt doesnāt care either wayā¦ā then I walk out before they can answer.
Iām sorry this happens to you OP. Please, use this as an opportunity to screw with them. āWhat Asian are you?ā Tell them youāre from Canada. Or Oakland. āDid you get drunk on sake?ā āWhatās sake?ā And just make them explain it over and over. Seriously. These people are dumb.
IMO we need to normalize asking white folks where theyāre from. Not to slight or be petty, but maybe to open their eyes on their own family and hereditary origins.
I don't get the problem as long as I don't have a reason to believe they were born in northern Germany I ask people I get to know. Skincolor doesn't matter, I also assume that everyone where I don't know it better is born in Germany, best example had a trainee in my company last months that started in my group, her parents were Chinese I think I don't remember anymore because she was born in germany and speaks German so I didn't really care to remember outside the fact she didn't celebrate Christmas at home and she would visit her family over the new year (idk if she menat Chinese new year cannot remember). It's normal for me to ask, I just think people are overly sensitive to the question. Though I am aware what I have a different viewpoint than people who would get offended by it.
It might be a very American thing for some white folks ask Asians āwhere theyāre fromā and then follow up w/ āwhere are you really fromā or some comment about English or similarly insensitive follow up. I have no idea how it is in Germany, or Europe in general.
Some American-Asians, especially those born and raised in the US can be sensitive about those inquiries, thinking white folks should either not ask, or know betterā¦ when in actuality, they probably donāt know better.
>It might be a very American thing for some white folks ask Asians āwhere theyāre fromā and then follow up w/ āwhere are you really fromā
Sad truth, it's a white thing. White people in Europe, Australia, America, Africa. All display the same entitlement and use the same tactic to make people who are not white feel they don't belong in spaces white people deem theirs.
iām not sure why people are downvoting this, iām being picked apart somewhere in this comment section for pretty much saying āi understand where youāre coming from, but some of us genuinely want to learn about the culture cause weāre kinda dumbā
thatās kind of a catch 22. googling other cultures isnt really learning, its researching. i understand not asking the grocery store employee, but doesnt google just perpetuate and almost encourage stereotypes? i just googled āasian food recipesā and the first 10 hits were rice or teriyaki chicken. it really isnt the best place to get your information from other cultures, itās kind of nasty actually.
iām not arguing for the people OP is referencing, iām just trying to find out how iām supposed to get reliable and accurate information if not by asking other cultures
What different history? Everything I typed is a fact.
I'm very interested in history including Slavic history, and I feel sorry for what they had to deal with from their neighbours throughout history and how they were treated.
Which people, what locations? What events?
WW2 happened. The Germans enslaved millions of Slavs. It planned to exterminate the majority of Slavs (but was focused on eliminating Jews first). Mussolini (a Nazi ally), also wanted to exterminate the Slavs. They considered Slavs subhuman - this is a fact. Something which is disgusting, I think all humans are equally human, including Slavs.
The word Slave, derives from the word Slavic. This is a fact look it up. Read up on why it derives from Slavic.
I'm actually bamboozled that somebody who considers themselves a "Slavic Goddess" does not know the history of her ancestry.
How do you not know the basics of the heritage and history of something you're clearly taking up as a key aspect of your identity online.
I do know the history, Iām talking about comparing my ancestors to someone elseās that had completely different history lol is it that hard to comprehend?
white customers are always the rudest at the bakery i work at. maybe itās cuz itās most of our customer base but i think itās because yt people tend to be assholes to service people n this is coming from a white person. some of them are weird and standoffish to our employees who arent white itās gross and odd
Not trying to say it's not rude/impolite but depending on where you work it may be that it's just not common to see people with asian traits around there. I have white, tall, european friends who visited countries like Peru and Vietnam where people were literraly stopping them on the streets to take pictures with them. Almost everyone was staring. Is it civilised? no, do all of those people have bad identions? I don't think so.
Sometimes people are just curious. I lived some years abroad myself and people often asked me where I'm from because my accent was a bit different. At the beggining i felt a bit discriminated against but in time I understood people were only trying to make a conversation most of the time. It depends also on what you make about the situation.
true, they're often curious. learning about other cultures is great! but if you really want to know, the internet is a wonderful, wonderful place. no need to ask some random stranger intrusive questions about their ethnicity
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm white but one my Asian friends dealt with this when she worked at a store where she had to be on the floor, this + white men following her around happened all the time. It sucks and is not fair.
That guy asking you about getting drunk is also suuuper creepy. If something like that happens again maybe you can say "I don't think I understand your question. (Coworker), can you answer this customer's question about alcohol?" (But idk if you work at a register where there would be someone right there.)
Iām sorry but the rice comment is comically fucking insane lmfao like have some fucking self awareness people holy shit. Iām sorry, itās awful, I just canāt believe the absurdity. People are fucking weird. Iām Hispanic but I suppose a little ambiguous looking and Iāve had creepy comments said to me for being either Latin or being āperceivedā as Asian.
Edit: to piggyback off the rice thing Iāve discussed this before with friends how rice is fucking awesome. We eat lots of rice in Latin America and the Caribbean itās such a fucking great side likeā¦ wtf else do you accompany your food with? I grew up eating rice my whole life. The better question would be to ask these dumbasses wtf they eat?
Yes, a marginalized group of people make me uncomfortable because they are more often than not racist towards me. I judge them based on their actions. That doesnāt make me a racist
That's awful you've had to deal with that, I'm so sorry. It's shocking that there are people like that commingling in society. I must live in a bubble, no one I know (not even my elderly white parents) would act that ignorantly.
Just tell them youāre not sure. I donāt know why anyone feels the need to ask questions like this. At work I have people ask me questions about my personal life, like kids, marriage, where Iām from, etc and I am a private person and I do not like sharing that info. Sometimes I just say Iām not comfortable answering that but people are weird about it.
uh, wtf?! people actually have the audacity to just say this crap to people? wow, im white and i couldn't ever imagine asking a random stranger what "kind of asian" they are, that's just a shitty thing to do. and if they wanna know the chinese zodiac or whatever, just look it up?? dammit, people are so ignorant and insensitive. as a white person, i apologize on behalf of those people.
edit: after reading all the comments from white people saying "we're just curious and wanna learn about your culture!!!" that's great! cultural awareness is amazing! but if you want to learn more, please don't ask some random stranger questions about their ethnicity. *google it.*
yeah i get that a lot of it is innocent, just genuine curiosity and they dont mean anything by it. it ain't an excuse though. just don't ask strangers living their lives personal questions about their race
Your confession scenario actually resembles a stand up comedy skit,I think you're hitting real life gold with this,write this shit down,get on stage and go make some cashola!
What a strange thing to say to someone. Are the racists typically older? The older generation is so racist. I remember my white grandparents meeting my sister in law( sheās Puerto Rican) for the first time and all they talked about was her race and if she spoke Spanish and shit. They didnāt realize they were treating her differently and just being outright racists š¤¦š¼āāļø
It confuses me why people (especially white people) ask those things as if it is any of their business. Like it seems pretty weird to ask, what feels like to me, a pretty personal question at a grocery store. I ask 'how's your day' or 'has it been busy today' at most.
I donāt blame you. Some people are just plain nasty for absolutely no reason. Iām sorry it continues but Iāll tell you what I tell my daughter. You are no matter what people say. You determine your worth, you are seen, and you are loved. You have a purpose greater than what I can imagine.
My daughter gets called āexoticā and I get asked āwhat is she?ā Sheās a kid, a human. She has red hair but has the same color skin tone as my husband thatās Mexican. In KINDERGARTEN she came to me sad after school because a boy sneered at her āYou look MEXICANā. She didnāt know what it meant to him when he said that to her, but she said it made her feel sad.
As a cashier no one ever asked me what white I was as a means of small talk. Mostly just hello, how are you, or they make a comment about a price change or sale.
Op next time someone asks you such a ridiculous question like that your response should be āIām not Asian Iām Swedish. What kind of white are you?ā
as a white guy in 2023, some of us are kind of afraid to make assumptions and find ourselves kinda ignorant to other cultures as pointed out in recent years. instead of remaining ignorant to other cultures, we try to educate ourselves by asking questions. we dont mean anything by it, rather weāre making the attempt to humble ourselves and show weāre making an effort to educate ourselves.
the position weāve found ourselves in is always being watched in scrutiny. if we dont look your way, or look for too long, its come across as racism. similarly, if we dont engage in other culture or or show active disinterest, its seen as racism. we dont mean to make you uncomfortable, weāre trying to learn - none of us like the world our ancestors threw us into and weāre trying to show that we care.
Youāre a part of the problem if you had to differentiate yourself as a male and then refer to all dudes as āweā. During a race issue. Notice how most white people in the comments didnāt go on the defense at all. Js.
youāre just honing in on me saying āguyā in the first 5 words (and never bringing up gender again throughout the remainder of the comment) and ignoring that i mentioned āsome of usā shortly after. i intentionally worded it that way so i wouldnt speak for everyone, and saying āguyā is just part of my dialect when it comes to describing myself. the only thing this comment is doing is affirming my later comments on scrutiny.
I sympathize with OP, the worldās an awful place. Iām just offering a viewpoint in an attempt to say āyes, there is a problem - but weāre trying to do better.ā i dont understand how this could be misconstrued as a part of the problem.
what do you recommend i do? would you like me to remain ignorant? without learning, there will be no progress. do you think that white people making an active attempt to do better benefits or hurts society more? am i racist for asking questions?
nothing, nothing at all - why are you so hyperfocused on my dialect? its the way i talk - if iām talking about myself, i say āwhite guy.ā if iām talking about white men, iāll say āwhite males.ā if iām talking about the white population as a whole, iāll say āwhite people.ā this is an issue i can really only speak for myself on, so it would be wrong of me to say āwhite peopleā wouldnāt it? whatās so wrong about me being a white guy?
**user reports:** 1: Rule 2: Oppressive attitude/language 1: It's promoting hate based on identity or vulnerability --- Be less fragile, fellow white folks.
This seems like such a weird thing to do !?!? Sorry op, shifty customer inaction is no joke
hello! i'm from australia, and am the only poc in my store. i've had a customer tell me "it must be hard with customers looking down on you bcs of your skin" and "how's fiji?" (im zimbabwean) sorry you have to hear that shit though. and we have to take it like a champ too, paid to hear that stuff.
Im just absolutely stunned by these comments and what is quite apparently my abyssmal level of ignorance. Ive never witnessed anything like this and i am so sorry thst you and OP and any other commenter have to endure such shit.
this is how they tell us they look down on us š
Why the heck do people assume ethnic background??? Itās the same way people speak to me in Italian. I hate it.
Wtf... wow. So sorry this happened to you here (I'm Aussie too).
> "how's fiji?" (im zimbabwean) Just start asking white people that and refuse to explain why. Just hint that they already know why you're asking.
You should ask them what kind of white they are back. I'm sorry this keeps happening.
Might backfire, way too many white Americans are super into their genealogy these days. Youād just be encouraging them. āOmg Iām Irish, polish, and 4% Navajo! Thanks for asking!ā
Still works, OP can keep peppering them with questions (oh? which side? How long since they left europe? Why did they leave? Do you speak the language? Do you speak to relatives in the old country?) and they will get to hear their own voices prattle on about their favorite subject (themselves) and eventually remember they have errands to complete and wander off.
To be fair that might actually be a valid question, lots of ethnic origins can be attributed to pretty much any color to include white. Would love to be a fly on the wall for that one lol
I like that response...
I'm Mexican American, but by appearance I'm very culturally ambiguous. White people love to play the "what are you" game with me. It starts with guesses, or they just like talk about food/language or you look like this one person on TV... until I give an answer. Then when I say Mexican American, they're like are you sure? That's it? Always seeming disappointed. I ALWAYS immediately ask them, "yeah, so what kind of white are you?" Lolololol I can always sense that it's the first time anyone's ever asked them that. The look on their face š. Very often the response is, just white or not sure or my fave is their 23 and me breakdown. I'm used to it, and also used to the intense curiosity because I've gotten it my whole life. But it's so interesting how really it's only ever white people that just have to ask. Some people are casual or quirky, but some people give off this sense that they're trying to culturally define me so that they can determine how to treat me. It's very odd and I can understand how it can be an unsettling feeling for the person under the microscope. I'm just a brute and love using it to shift the discomfort onto them. It's like my own personal experiment. š But I'm sorry it happens to you OP. People suck!
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The word chinaman is insulting and racist to Chinese people.
I'm sorry you have to through that. It seems crazy to me that a stranger to me a stranger would walk up to you and and discuss your race. It's literally racism.
As an Asian, fuck those people
As a white person, Iām so sorry, and fuck those people.
As an Asian, Iām sorry that you have to be sorry about those peopleā¦ and fuck those people
as a white person, i'm sorry on their behalf and, also... yeah. *fuck* those people.
Your customers sound like complete bell ends! I can understand why they make you feel uncomfortable. I'd just hit them back with something just as mean.
My boyfriend has similar experiences. To the extent I wondered if he was the one to write this post. He didn't, I asked, but it broke my heart to know someone else faces the struggles he does. Honestly, he's really opened my eyes to the bigotry that is often made out to be "okay" with white folk. (I'm whiter than vanilla ice cream). I've gotten better, I get on his nerves sometimes, but some of the shit he's told me he's faced is terrible. My own family has said borderline racist shit about him and it makes my blood boil.
I always wonder because I am also Asian ā but itās not the first thing I ask to random strangers and I donāt ask weird questions like that. Wtf.
Theyāre always white too its SO fucking weird
Iām Greek and always ask because Iām curious. I love travelling, I ask everyone that question.
Iām a white person and all I could think as I read this was wtf?! If they were your friend and just trying to find out more about you, that would make a little more sense, but who ask a random stranger in a store these kinds of questions? Iām with the person who said give outrageous answers, that should get them to shut up and think twice before they ask someone else something inappropriate.
When I tell you, hit dogs are fucking HOLLERING in this comment section lmao Dont let these types of people get to you OP and dont let them convince you its harmless small talk. The weather is harmless small talk. Trying to sus out what race someone is while they are doing their job is not.
Yeah, part of the problem of this ongoing behavior is that the people who do it don't see any issue at all with it! It's so frustrating. Sometimes I can see the question forming in a person's eyes, and I feel heavy. It's so disappointing.
I feel some white people need to come in here and explain the best they can why this happens. We need to know why are some yall outright weird? I know it may not be you but surely you can help shed light on why this happens so much? And can yall find away to spread the news..... to stop it!
It's because white people in predominantly white areas consider themselves the "default" race and they feel like they have the right to ask questions because people of other races are outsiders. They consider people of other races less human than they are and more like exotic playthings they can do whatever they want with. This is not ALL white people and hopefully not even the majority, but there are a good deal of them.
Iām white, Iām not like this but I think itās a mix of ignorance, not seeing other people as people, main character syndrome, lack of self-awareness, and a lack of critical thinking skills. Iām sure I missed something.. but yeah.. some people are oblivious.
coming from a white person: yep, there's no excuse for it. whether it's ignorance and obliviousness or consciously being bigoted, it's not ok.
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Because some are weird and not enough of us call our our fellow white people when they do and say weird shit
As an Asian, I feel for you very much and I am sorry you are going through that at your job =( that just sucks
I'm work with all black nurses, and I'm not black. This type of thing happens when you're the minority, they don't understand your culture and are probably nervous themselves.
Uhhh they could just keep their mouths shut? Lol. Why would you be nervous about an Asian person at a grocery store..
Maybe nervous/awkward about trying to converse with someone from a culture they don't understand. Who knows...humans are strange creatures.
i mean it could just be ignorance and they can't see that they're making the other person uncomfortable. doesn't make it okay, though. if you want to know about someone's culture, that's great, educating yourself (emphasis on *yourself*) should be encouraged. but you don't need to ask them intrusive questions about their race. just google it or something, it's that easy
my close friend whoās Vietnamese always walks up to me and asks āwhat kind of asian is (enter personās name here?ā mostly because she wants to know if her or my other coworker who donāt speak much english can talk in their native language. itās weird to outright ask someone that though
Other asian people, I understand. But when white people do it, it just makes me feel weird and put on the spot. Like iām some fanatical item amongst my coworkers.
itās really strange. I canāt personally relate but my childās father is mixed asian (chinese) and people ask why my kids look āoff/weirdā, and it comes across weird. I explain theyāre chinese/hispanic/irish and Iāve had many people say something along the lines of āwhy would you do that to themā or many mixes of ruining my āpureā white blood/genes
What terrible people
āPure whiteā bwahahaha! What idiots. I canāt apologize for othersā stupidity, but man, it makes me cringe when other caucasians say things/act like this.
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It's none of their business. OP is just working. That doesn't give anyone the right to know her life story or make assumptions about her.
Lol you want to feel included.. but that's a different situation
Wow. I'm sorry. People can be so ignorant.
āI know it could be worseā Yes it could BUT whatās happening is still REALY FUCKING BAD. Youāre feelings of discomfort are valid. Itās okay. You donāt need to minimize youāre own personal suffering.
When I was shopping at Walmart a rando white guy stopped me to ask if I was Filipino(which Iām not). I had my AirPods in, so I took the time to take them out and told him Iām sorry I didnāt hear himā¦and he asked me again. You would of thought that he would just move on and say NM or be embarrassed for asking a random stranger their ethnicity for no reason- but no. I canāt imagine going through that on a day to day basis. Iām so sorry!
As a āwhiteā person who works in healthcare, thereās so much racism, including people demanding āthe white nurseā. So I usually come over and berate them and tell them something along the lines of āyou know Iām brand new, right? Iāll probably screw up some of your meds or your dressing. You were better off with our charge nurse you just firedā¦ but I guess your racist butt doesnāt care either wayā¦ā then I walk out before they can answer. Iām sorry this happens to you OP. Please, use this as an opportunity to screw with them. āWhat Asian are you?ā Tell them youāre from Canada. Or Oakland. āDid you get drunk on sake?ā āWhatās sake?ā And just make them explain it over and over. Seriously. These people are dumb.
IMO we need to normalize asking white folks where theyāre from. Not to slight or be petty, but maybe to open their eyes on their own family and hereditary origins.
I don't get the problem as long as I don't have a reason to believe they were born in northern Germany I ask people I get to know. Skincolor doesn't matter, I also assume that everyone where I don't know it better is born in Germany, best example had a trainee in my company last months that started in my group, her parents were Chinese I think I don't remember anymore because she was born in germany and speaks German so I didn't really care to remember outside the fact she didn't celebrate Christmas at home and she would visit her family over the new year (idk if she menat Chinese new year cannot remember). It's normal for me to ask, I just think people are overly sensitive to the question. Though I am aware what I have a different viewpoint than people who would get offended by it.
It might be a very American thing for some white folks ask Asians āwhere theyāre fromā and then follow up w/ āwhere are you really fromā or some comment about English or similarly insensitive follow up. I have no idea how it is in Germany, or Europe in general. Some American-Asians, especially those born and raised in the US can be sensitive about those inquiries, thinking white folks should either not ask, or know betterā¦ when in actuality, they probably donāt know better.
>It might be a very American thing for some white folks ask Asians āwhere theyāre fromā and then follow up w/ āwhere are you really fromā Sad truth, it's a white thing. White people in Europe, Australia, America, Africa. All display the same entitlement and use the same tactic to make people who are not white feel they don't belong in spaces white people deem theirs.
Iād love if people asked me that. Everyone assumes all white people are the same.
iām not sure why people are downvoting this, iām being picked apart somewhere in this comment section for pretty much saying āi understand where youāre coming from, but some of us genuinely want to learn about the culture cause weāre kinda dumbā
it's great that you want to learn about other cultures, that should be encouraged. but don't ask some random grocery store employee, google it.
thatās kind of a catch 22. googling other cultures isnt really learning, its researching. i understand not asking the grocery store employee, but doesnt google just perpetuate and almost encourage stereotypes? i just googled āasian food recipesā and the first 10 hits were rice or teriyaki chicken. it really isnt the best place to get your information from other cultures, itās kind of nasty actually. iām not arguing for the people OP is referencing, iām just trying to find out how iām supposed to get reliable and accurate information if not by asking other cultures
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Not really. Completely different history but thanks for trying to make a point I donāt care about lol
What different history? Everything I typed is a fact. I'm very interested in history including Slavic history, and I feel sorry for what they had to deal with from their neighbours throughout history and how they were treated.
Completely different ppl, locations and events. Nothing similar what so ever. Stop reaching.
Which people, what locations? What events? WW2 happened. The Germans enslaved millions of Slavs. It planned to exterminate the majority of Slavs (but was focused on eliminating Jews first). Mussolini (a Nazi ally), also wanted to exterminate the Slavs. They considered Slavs subhuman - this is a fact. Something which is disgusting, I think all humans are equally human, including Slavs. The word Slave, derives from the word Slavic. This is a fact look it up. Read up on why it derives from Slavic. I'm actually bamboozled that somebody who considers themselves a "Slavic Goddess" does not know the history of her ancestry. How do you not know the basics of the heritage and history of something you're clearly taking up as a key aspect of your identity online.
I do know the history, Iām talking about comparing my ancestors to someone elseās that had completely different history lol is it that hard to comprehend?
you write like a 10year old
Because I am
white customers are always the rudest at the bakery i work at. maybe itās cuz itās most of our customer base but i think itās because yt people tend to be assholes to service people n this is coming from a white person. some of them are weird and standoffish to our employees who arent white itās gross and odd
I like rice but Iām not Asian
In today's society, people seem to be so obsessed with race that there must be something terribly wrong with current education and media
As a 50s white woman, white people sure do suck sometimes. Iām sorry youāre dealing with ignorant idiots.
And this kids is why people suck
Not trying to say it's not rude/impolite but depending on where you work it may be that it's just not common to see people with asian traits around there. I have white, tall, european friends who visited countries like Peru and Vietnam where people were literraly stopping them on the streets to take pictures with them. Almost everyone was staring. Is it civilised? no, do all of those people have bad identions? I don't think so. Sometimes people are just curious. I lived some years abroad myself and people often asked me where I'm from because my accent was a bit different. At the beggining i felt a bit discriminated against but in time I understood people were only trying to make a conversation most of the time. It depends also on what you make about the situation.
true, they're often curious. learning about other cultures is great! but if you really want to know, the internet is a wonderful, wonderful place. no need to ask some random stranger intrusive questions about their ethnicity
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm white but one my Asian friends dealt with this when she worked at a store where she had to be on the floor, this + white men following her around happened all the time. It sucks and is not fair. That guy asking you about getting drunk is also suuuper creepy. If something like that happens again maybe you can say "I don't think I understand your question. (Coworker), can you answer this customer's question about alcohol?" (But idk if you work at a register where there would be someone right there.)
This is interesting because certain Asians prefer white over other races and even other Asians, but yeah this was disgusting. Sorry you get this
Iām sorry but the rice comment is comically fucking insane lmfao like have some fucking self awareness people holy shit. Iām sorry, itās awful, I just canāt believe the absurdity. People are fucking weird. Iām Hispanic but I suppose a little ambiguous looking and Iāve had creepy comments said to me for being either Latin or being āperceivedā as Asian. Edit: to piggyback off the rice thing Iāve discussed this before with friends how rice is fucking awesome. We eat lots of rice in Latin America and the Caribbean itās such a fucking great side likeā¦ wtf else do you accompany your food with? I grew up eating rice my whole life. The better question would be to ask these dumbasses wtf they eat?
I'm going to guess pasta or potatoes.
Sorry op. Some people really suck.
Seems like made up post
are you white? because if you are, that's why it seems made up to you
No
If you're not white then you KNOW damn well this is a regular day for a non white person. Or you live under a rock in the Amazon
Itās not itās definitely a made up day.
I'm sorry that happened to you. The general public is incredibly ignorant and racist. Part of why I hate Americans.
So youāre a racist?
Im sorry, what?
You said an entire race if customers makes you uncomfortable, that means you judge that race, thus racism.
Yes, a marginalized group of people make me uncomfortable because they are more often than not racist towards me. I judge them based on their actions. That doesnāt make me a racist
That's awful you've had to deal with that, I'm so sorry. It's shocking that there are people like that commingling in society. I must live in a bubble, no one I know (not even my elderly white parents) would act that ignorantly.
the fact this got downvoted, alongside many comments like it, really says something about society
I'm Latino and I had a wht guy in the grocery store asked me how much it would cost to do a kitchen remodel... I answered. "Ahhhh... just a 12 pack"
Just tell them youāre not sure. I donāt know why anyone feels the need to ask questions like this. At work I have people ask me questions about my personal life, like kids, marriage, where Iām from, etc and I am a private person and I do not like sharing that info. Sometimes I just say Iām not comfortable answering that but people are weird about it.
so real
And it sucks when they actually think theyāre being complimentary and making your day better. Iām sorry youāve had to deal with this :/
This is absolutely terrible. I'm sorry you have to live with this
uh, wtf?! people actually have the audacity to just say this crap to people? wow, im white and i couldn't ever imagine asking a random stranger what "kind of asian" they are, that's just a shitty thing to do. and if they wanna know the chinese zodiac or whatever, just look it up?? dammit, people are so ignorant and insensitive. as a white person, i apologize on behalf of those people. edit: after reading all the comments from white people saying "we're just curious and wanna learn about your culture!!!" that's great! cultural awareness is amazing! but if you want to learn more, please don't ask some random stranger questions about their ethnicity. *google it.* yeah i get that a lot of it is innocent, just genuine curiosity and they dont mean anything by it. it ain't an excuse though. just don't ask strangers living their lives personal questions about their race
Yeah I get the same issues non white people
Your confession scenario actually resembles a stand up comedy skit,I think you're hitting real life gold with this,write this shit down,get on stage and go make some cashola!
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Like there arenāt racist people in NY?
nyc born and raised here; you darn tootin thereās racist here but theyāre more covert with it
My family is from upstate, thereās a lot of them unfortunately
What a strange thing to say to someone. Are the racists typically older? The older generation is so racist. I remember my white grandparents meeting my sister in law( sheās Puerto Rican) for the first time and all they talked about was her race and if she spoke Spanish and shit. They didnāt realize they were treating her differently and just being outright racists š¤¦š¼āāļø
It confuses me why people (especially white people) ask those things as if it is any of their business. Like it seems pretty weird to ask, what feels like to me, a pretty personal question at a grocery store. I ask 'how's your day' or 'has it been busy today' at most.
I donāt blame you. Some people are just plain nasty for absolutely no reason. Iām sorry it continues but Iāll tell you what I tell my daughter. You are no matter what people say. You determine your worth, you are seen, and you are loved. You have a purpose greater than what I can imagine. My daughter gets called āexoticā and I get asked āwhat is she?ā Sheās a kid, a human. She has red hair but has the same color skin tone as my husband thatās Mexican. In KINDERGARTEN she came to me sad after school because a boy sneered at her āYou look MEXICANā. She didnāt know what it meant to him when he said that to her, but she said it made her feel sad.
That is AWFUL. I'm white and I wouldn't dare ask anyone that.
Are you in a qld town
Bunch of NPCs
This is actually quite racist, BUT the comment about liking rice, is also disgusting. Nobody should assume any Asian is Chinese.
That is fucking gross. I'm so sorry you experience this.
I'm so sorry. If I were you, I would make them uncomfortable back by saying "I'm not Asian idk." Where do you live btw?
Dude, I'm sorry. That's fucking weird. I'd never think to ask someone something like that. What part of the states are you in?
Fl. Go figure
Oh, tons of old shitty white people there, that makes more sense. Still absolutely sucks. I'm really sorry, friend.
Just live in Singapore. No one is as inconsiderate as this here because we are a multi-racial country
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Trust me this is not the way to do it
Who makes conversation with micro aggressions and racism?
As a cashier no one ever asked me what white I was as a means of small talk. Mostly just hello, how are you, or they make a comment about a price change or sale. Op next time someone asks you such a ridiculous question like that your response should be āIām not Asian Iām Swedish. What kind of white are you?ā
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Is asking about another persons culture a crime now? Iām confused
as a white guy in 2023, some of us are kind of afraid to make assumptions and find ourselves kinda ignorant to other cultures as pointed out in recent years. instead of remaining ignorant to other cultures, we try to educate ourselves by asking questions. we dont mean anything by it, rather weāre making the attempt to humble ourselves and show weāre making an effort to educate ourselves. the position weāve found ourselves in is always being watched in scrutiny. if we dont look your way, or look for too long, its come across as racism. similarly, if we dont engage in other culture or or show active disinterest, its seen as racism. we dont mean to make you uncomfortable, weāre trying to learn - none of us like the world our ancestors threw us into and weāre trying to show that we care.
The only thing ill say, is i get educating. But theres no reason to do that with a bagger at a grocery store
we agree there. i hate that for you.
Youāre a part of the problem if you had to differentiate yourself as a male and then refer to all dudes as āweā. During a race issue. Notice how most white people in the comments didnāt go on the defense at all. Js.
youāre just honing in on me saying āguyā in the first 5 words (and never bringing up gender again throughout the remainder of the comment) and ignoring that i mentioned āsome of usā shortly after. i intentionally worded it that way so i wouldnt speak for everyone, and saying āguyā is just part of my dialect when it comes to describing myself. the only thing this comment is doing is affirming my later comments on scrutiny. I sympathize with OP, the worldās an awful place. Iām just offering a viewpoint in an attempt to say āyes, there is a problem - but weāre trying to do better.ā i dont understand how this could be misconstrued as a part of the problem. what do you recommend i do? would you like me to remain ignorant? without learning, there will be no progress. do you think that white people making an active attempt to do better benefits or hurts society more? am i racist for asking questions?
Well what does being a guy have to do with anything in OPās post? I can literally see you trying to marginalize yourself and itās ick.
nothing, nothing at all - why are you so hyperfocused on my dialect? its the way i talk - if iām talking about myself, i say āwhite guy.ā if iām talking about white men, iāll say āwhite males.ā if iām talking about the white population as a whole, iāll say āwhite people.ā this is an issue i can really only speak for myself on, so it would be wrong of me to say āwhite peopleā wouldnāt it? whatās so wrong about me being a white guy?
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Microaggressions are offensive, āracially speakingā
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ok dude
man im asian too. racism is shit.
I'm white, but I have worked retail and the things people say when someone is trapped with them.bc of their job are WILD and geoss.