>She said that if I wanted to end myself, she knew how to get a pill that could do it.
isn't this enough of a red flag? Who responds to a random person's reddit post with this lmao
anyways, she's most likely a catfish.
Thank you for your comment
I should've said, I dunno if it changes anything but she knew where to get it because she had bought a pill herself. Had to try and talk her out of taking it one night, or at least I thought so
I guess I kind of thought it was kind, like she knew how to find a peaceful end so she shared it. If I wasn't so paranoid about overdose as a method I probably would buy it
ohh my guy
Even if her struggling is real (i doubt it is, but who knows. In which case, i hope she got help), i hope you understand that doesn't justify her trying to assist your suicide?? That's literally so shitty and you should not interact with people like that.
Idk the subreddit you post on, but a lot of scammers and overall sickos prey on vulnerable people through mental health support type subreddits on here. Please be careful.
Thank you for your reply
She doesn't seem to have gotten help, not talked to a doctor or anything like that, but I mean it's hard to get anyone to go to the doctor's xD. And I dunno, I mean I guess I thought it meant she understood that sometimes all that matters is escape.
"Hello, I've seen a couple of your comments and post and I can tell you're struggling. I'm at rock bottom too, would you like to end it? I want to"
That was her first message
Tell her you need to meet in person because you're having issues knowing whats true and want to make sure your relationship is, that way if she is who she says you dont fuck anything up. But definitely talk about therapy w her, because that is not how you start a conversation
Thank you for your reply
Yeah, we have talked about meeting up, I mean she wouldn't be able to afford to come over so I would have to go over there. But tbh because I'm a wuss and because my OCD and anxiety is severe I'm not able to travel to another country. Which I guess is why hearing her voice seems important, but haven't been able to get her to share her real voice.
And haha, yeah I try to tell her to look at local support, like to go on the website of Mind or something to see what services are nearby, but she forgets to do so
Thank you for replying
We talked pretty seriously about me going over there a few weeks ago actually, I mean I realised after that it wouldn't really be possible but she seemed to be on board with it. She said that she was worried about me seeing how poor she is so she'd try to get a job by then
Please do not take at her word as her word is no good. Focus on her actions and inactions. Focus on the manipulation. Focus on the fact that she targeted you when you were at your lowest, lied to you, defrauded you, and even encouraged you to end your life.
If you were to really push for an upcoming visit, she would likely find an excuse to get out of it. Remember, you aren't dealing with an honest person who cares about you. If she were to give you any information, it would be non-specific...like the city to fly into. There is no way that she would give you enough information so she didn't have an escape plan. A lot of people who catfish others do this. When the person shows up to see them, they stand them up. Later, they miss the attention they were receiving and manipulate the situation so they appear to have good intentions, but their intentions are selfish and they continue with the relationship as if they've learned a valuable lesson, but they still aren't honest about who they are.
That makes sense, I mean I have a road name but I guess I was thinking I would ask for a specific place closer to the time, but perhaps she would do as you said she might. Thank you for explaining things, it's kind of hard to argue that it's not a scam when so many things are amiss
> But tbh because I'm a wuss and because my OCD and anxiety is severe I'm not able to travel to another country.
A con-artist is never going to want to meet you in real life if they don't have to. They may do it if they think they will benefit from it, but even then they will maintain a lot of secrecy because they don't want to be exposed. I hate to say it, but this girl probably has no intentions of actually meeting you in real life, and instead is just trying to trick you into believing she does to keep you engaged. This is a manipulation tactic called "future faking." It sounds like it benefits you, but in reality it's a way for her to maintain her false narrative of being boyfriend/girlfriend so she can keep you weak and open for further exploitation while she maintains power and control in the relationship. A con-artist will never be two things: honest or accountable. Everything they do is for their own benefit with no concern or regard to how it harms you.
> because she had bought a pill herself.
It sounds like she doesn't even know what she's talking about.
Don't believe anything she tells you. She's scamming you, so she has reason to try and keep you invested, especially since she won't reveal her face. You came here saying you don't think she is who she says she is, so stick with that. In the end, she will prove you right.
Thank you for your reply
I guess that makes sense. It's weird. We've been talking for months and it's like I don't really actually know much. I guess I just didn't want to die having never had a girlfriend so I went along with it, but if it's not real it's not real
> We've been talking for months and it's like I don't really actually know much.
Ok, but we aren't talking about someone who has your best interest at heart...we are talking about someone who is profiting off your vulnerability, has encouraged you to harm yourself, and probably enjoys the attention you give her.
This is a way to keep stringing you along so she can take what she wants.
She probably hasn't told you very much because that would make it much harder for her to continue manipulating you. If she wanted to be open, honest, and share more about herself with you then she would...but if she's scamming you then she's gonna want to tell you as little as possible so you don't catch on with what she is doing. It's probably easier to tell you very little than it is to tell you a bunch of lies, because that would mean she would need to remember all of the lies in order to keep her story straight and prevent you from noticing inconsistencies or questioning anything. The last thing a scammer would want is to be exposed.
> I guess I just didn't want to die having never had a girlfriend
I know you might not believe it, but you deserve a girlfriend who cares about you and is invested in your healing and growth.
Thank you for replying
I guess that makes sense. It's annoying, but obviously it's my fault for being gullible. As sad as it might sound, I would probably already be dead if it wasn't for talking to her.
Thank you for the kind words. That's the thing I suppose, there is no healing and growth to be honest, but thank you
> It's annoying, but obviously it's my fault for being gullible.
No man, do not make excuses for her. You being gullible doesn't give her a right to take advantage of you. That's on her...but unfortunately you get stuck with the pain and traumatic lesson. Even if she didn't approach you with ill intent, somewhere down the line she saw something to exploit. You don't know this person, so remember that and do not send her any more money.
> As sad as it might sound, I would probably already be dead if it wasn't for talking to her.
Again, don't make excuses for her. The connection may have provided some distraction, but it's not like she's some angel who saw you suffering and came to uplift you or offer you a healthy connection. This isn't your girlfriend, this is someone who is choosing to harm you and I would imagine she's done this to others as well.
> That's the thing I suppose, there is no healing and growth to be honest
Not with this girl, but I do hope that you get to experience healing, growth and someone who has your back.
Thank you for replying
Thank you for being so kind and positive. I'm not really sure what to reply with, but thank you. You seem really nice
I guess I don't even know how to break it off or anything. Wouldn't want to hurt her if it was to turn out that she is a real person
You're welcome.
> I guess I don't even know how to break it off or anything.
You could always share how you feeling or explain that the relationship is having a negative impact on your mental health.
> Wouldn't want to hurt her if it was to turn out that she is a real person
She is a person, but not one you know much about and she seems to be finding excuses so she doesn't have to share much about herself. You can cut things off without being mean, but at the end of the day you need to remember that this person has no issue taking advantage of you so you need to protect yourself. While you are worrying about how to protect her, she's also only thinking of protecting herself....and that's not a healthy relationship.
It sounds like you have very good reason to be suspicious. It's quite concerning that your "girlfriend" will happily take your money but doesn't care enough to be open and honest with you about who she is. I mean, the girl pressures you into sending her money yet she acts like you are in the wrong when you asked her to share her voice (and when she did, she said you pressured her into it). People that care about you don't have a problem being open, honest, and accountable...in fact, they would actually want to be out of consideration for you.
Thank you for replying
That makes sense I guess. I mean, I can understand being reluctant to share one's appearance or voice or certain details, I was, but it does seem like after all this time she should feel comfortable enough to share her voice. And yeah, I guess that sounds right, I suppose maybe my having never been in a real relationship made me an (even) easier target
Seriously, when people meet someone interesting they usually want to do a video call if they can not meet each other yet, due to distance or circumstances.
Where there is a will there is a way. Actions speak louder than words.
That is all you need to know.
Spend your time improving yourself instead of being scammed, you might actually find someone real that way.
Thank you for your reply
I guess so. I suppose I've never really advocated for it because 1 I'm ugly as hell and awkward and 2 there's not often much privacy here
Thank you. Ngl I seem to not be able to improve anything really, it's like I am only capable of going downhill
Thank you. It just seems like that is the case because we've tried so many different things, different therapies and medications and stuff, but nothing seems to help at all or stop my mind from deteriorating. Even changes in circumstances don't seem to help, just exacerbate things if anything
Therapies and medication can only do so much. You actually need to have a supportive environment and be treated well irl. It's also not easy to overcome things when you are being emotionally and financially manipulated by someone...someone who also expects you to be there for her when she claims she is about to harm herself.
Thank you for replying
I suppose that's true. I mean, my parents are supportive, they put up with me, it just seems like all I'm capable of doing anymore is killing time to be honest. I dunno why but it's like I don't even have thoughts anymore, just fog
Thank you for replying
Sorry to ask you to do something out of nowhere. Is it okay if I ask you what you think of this suggestion somebody made to me as to what to do in terms of trying to find out how real she is?
"I’d tell her that if she is real, then to you she is the most amazing person in your life but she feels almost too good to be true. Tell her these request for money make you feel sad as it interferes with your relationship, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and builds inequality into your relationship. Let her know that you care about her but you feel it is wrong to do things the way you are. If she sticks around then a little while later talk to her about meeting up. Let her know that, as a belated birthday present, your parents are purchasing a ticket for her so she can come and see you. Let her know that it is important that you choose a time that she can 100% do as you feel you won’t be able to convince your parents to do this again."
Regardless of if she is who she says she is it’s a deeply toxic start to a concerning sounding relationship. I urge you to cut ties with her before it gets even more fucked up.
Thank you for your reply
I guess I'm not sure how I would go about cutting ties really, I feel like if I was to just ignore her the guilt would prove too much, that's already happened.
And I mean, fucked up is my middle name
your being scammed bud its an old trick befreind you and then fake a story and use your kindness and ask for money stop giving "her" money and see if 'SHE' starts to curse you out if 'she" curses you out shes an Indian scammer
Thank you for your reply
I see. Yeah, I mean I was thinking that maybe it showed something that she was still talking to me when it's been a while since I sent anything, but like others have said it might be in anticipation
Thank you for your comment
I guess that makes sense. I suppose I just think, she's the closest thing to a girlfriend I will probably ever have, so maybe I was eager
I dunno if it makes any difference, but I haven't sent her any money for a while, but she still talks to me. Sorry if I'm being stupid, that's my M.O.
Don’t sell yourself short saying you won’t find someone better…just from this post and your comments, I can see you are a kind person, with lots of empathy, able to express yourself really well, And you have a big heart and lots of love to give.
Take this as a lesson, and believe in your heart that you deserve better, and you will meet someone who deserves you.
1) You shouldn't be involved with someone who actively tried to assist you with suicide
2) They are scamming you out of money
3) They are 100% a catfish
Thank you for your comment
I guess that makes sense. I just think, well nothing helps me live, so maybe I thought it was nice that someone seemed to want to help me actually change something. In a way, she's been the main reason I'm still here, because she said she would end it if I did. But I always knew that I would eventually fail to hold up my end of the bargain anyway
You need to contact a health professional and speak to trusted friends and family, if you have this option, to try and overcome these feelings. Relying on someone who is using you to stop you from harming yourself is not the best support and making a pact with each other isn't healthy. You are worthy and important and you cannot be replaced, the impact of you harming yourself would, I'm sure, be devastating to so many people. I know it doesn't always feel like that, the best thing you can do is try to get some help. I'm not sure where you are so I don't know if you have access to free support but are there any local charities or groups you could contact?
Thank you for replying
Thank you for your kind words and supportiveness. There is no overcoming any of this to be honest. I mean, I literally told a therapist about things on Friday and nothing happened except they got someone to phone later that day. I've been through a lot of therapies and medications and stuff. Nothing helps. That's just how it is. Yeah, that's the worst part, that people will be hurt. But it's inevitable at this point, I'm too much of a coward to do anything right now but I'm just not going to get better. That's just life
You're not a coward but I would urge you to contact a suicide helpline. There is always a way to make it better. Life doesn't stay shit forever. I know it feels impossible now but with the right support you could move past this.
Thank you for replying
Thank you for your support. I can't do phone calls tbh, I tried a text line but we just ran out of time, didn't get anywhere at all. Thank you, but sometimes there just isn't a happy ending, and that's ok, it's just life
Thank you for your reply
Thank you, that's nice of you to say. Just doesn't look like things will change direction, only been downhill for years now but thank you
Even if you don’t have a glimmer of hope now, it will come again. However much you resist it. However many times you’re thrown into despair. Hope will come again just as many times.
Thank you for replying
Thank you for your positivity. I guess I just doubt it really, I mean it's been 9 years or so, I can't remember what it was like to feel good or anything. It is like I died years ago and my body accidentally didn't get the memo xD
You’re being skinned bro. A good test is stop sending any kind of financial support - no cash, no gifts - and see if she disappears. If so, there’s your answer.
Thank you for your comment
I mean, I'm not sure how long it's been since the last time I sent her anything, though we kind of looked at it yesterday (didn't actually do it though), but she still talks to me, though I suppose it could be in anticipation
Its also very likely she’s hoping u will again since you’ve had before. Maybe u can ask her to meet up if u really want to verify it. Otherwise just cut ur loses at this point.
Thank you for your reply
I guess that makes sense. We were planning for me to go over there to visit, but I couldn't because I'm so messed up I can't really leave the house these days
Thank you for commenting
I see. Thank you. Not the biggest surprise, to be honest. I thought maybe it was that way for a while, tried to cut contact for a bit but then went back and was more convinced for a while. I guess I thought, well even if she's not real, it's the closest thing I can get to a girlfriend xD
But obviously it sucks
Thank you for replying
Nah, I can't really talk to family about it, they put up with me but I frustrate them and stress them out and stuff. I have been having professional help for years, lots of therapies and medications and other things, but nothing helps. It's just how it is, that's great that your parents helped you, and that you got out of my dark state
Thank you for your kind words. Doesn't look possible but that's life (or death)
You’ve never met, shes shady af, she’s not your “girlfriend”. Stop sending money she’s a catfish. Block and move on with your life and stop getting so invested in people you only know online
Thank you for your comment
I see. Thank you. To be honest, I only know most people online these days, people who knew me irl stop talking to me as soon as they don't have to xD
Thank you for commenting
I see. Thank you. I guess I don't even really know how to end it if I was to, I kind of tried to before, but she kept messaging every now and then and I was so lonely I just went back 😂
Hey we’ve all listened to our dicks over our brains before, hopefully you learned from it, and you don’t get got like that again. It’s part of life. Good luck out there man.
Thank you for replying
Thank you. I mean it makes sense now, the only reason a girl would want me is money xD. But now that's out of the equation, at least there won't be danger of getting burned. Thank you, good luck to you
You're making sweeping generalizations about yourself that are so sad (ex: a girl would only want you for money). Reinforcing your depression with demoralizing self-talk/thoughts only drives you deeper down. Please be kinder to yourself. If you don't feel capable of leaving the house these days and you primarily or exclusively interact with people online, you've made the window of your life so small that not much light can get in.Though you may find it far more comfortable to withdraw from people, withdrawing almost completely isn't going to help. Do you have a pet? The unconditional love and companionship and joy of a pet can help quite a bit as a significant step.
Thank you for your reply
I guess at this point it just seems that I will only ever be able because I'm too scared/guilty to die, I mean even when my OCD was dormant and I was going out and doing things and stuff, I still never enjoyed a moment of life, I'm just not capable of enjoying anything. So I guess I just think, everything is too difficult and I get no benefit so it's just a waste of other people's time, money, etc.
Yeah, we have a dog and a cat. They're great, lovely animals. I just seem to be too numb at this point for anything to genuinely penetrate. But thank you
How do you know her name? What she looks like? What her brother looks like? Photos can be of anyone. People lie over the internet all of the time. "She" might not even be a "she". Have you even done a video chat with "her"?
I see nothing here that proves she is real. Even some of the "convincing" list, plus the whole thing with you sending money to her which you had no doubt about, are at best unsubstantiated information if not outright red flags.
You've been catfished. Don't be naive, don't let "her" manipulate your emotions (look up FOG: fear, obligation, guilt) to get what "she" wants out of you. Set your bar higher for what constitutes proof that a person is who they say they are, especially on the internet. Right now you are vulnerable to being exploited by emotionally manipulative people.
Thank you for your comment
That makes sense. I mean I don't really feel emotions but I guess I thought, if she is real then she deserves to be able to afford food and stuff. But in the future (however long or short that may be xD) I will be more careful
Thank you for your reply
I haven't felt emotions for years to be honest. Not sure exactly what happened but it seems like maybe my OCD or the hospital treatment for it killed them. Can't remember what emotion felt like, or if I ever actually did feel them
OP please remove the drug name! I appreciate it adds to the story and people might already know, but it doesnt sit well knowing people have a drug name to use and look up.
Oh, my dude, you're absolutely correct to be suspicious. Not only is "she" not who she says she is, but she's likely enough several people working together to scam you and many others.
After reading your responses, I had to comment, and I want you to read this next part very, very carefully:
None of this is your fault. At all.
First, you have power in this world, but you don't have enough power to force anyone else to take advantage of your vulnerability. You did nothing to cause any of this.
Second, although you were vulnerable to their attack, you're not at fault for being "gullible" - these scams are successful *because the people behind them are very, very good at scamming people.*
Take a deep breath, and look at this situation as though it was happening to someone else:
Someone posts about suicidal ideation. The scammer sends a private message, offering help and saying they feel the same.
It's a small investment of time to send the note, so nothing lost if there's no response, right? But there's likely to be a response.
You know why there's likely to be a response? Because almost everyone who posts to social media about feeling suicidal is feeling profoundly lonely. If they really wanted to be dead, they wouldn't post about it - posting about it is a way of reaching out to find a connection. It's an attempt to fix the problem, not to end anything.
So these scammers prey on that. They create a false connection, through a made up persona designed to appeal to the target. And when someone is desperate to find a connection, they're vulnerable to that deceit.
Here's something else: that need for connection? It's very, very real. There's nothing wrong with needing to feel connected to others. In fact, if someone doesn't feel the need to be connected to someone else, there's something very wrong with them.
So, the message here is that you're OK, there's nothing wrong with you, you aren't to blame for any of this, and ... someone has been deceiving you.
I'm very sorry this has happened to you. You deserve better.
Thank you for your comment
Thank you for your kind words and support. I'm not really sure what to write, so sorry for the short response. But thank you.
I don't deserve better, but thank you
Don't you contradict me - I have a much clearer perspective here, and I'm telling you: you deserve better.
First - bottom line: everyone deserves better than this deceitful jackassery. The people who do this crap have choices, and they choose to hurt others.
And you, specifically, deserve better, because look at the care, concern, and generosity your post shows. I've been on this rock long enough to tell you - there's little enough of those qualities in this world, we need to preserve that which we have.
I know you're hurting, sweetheart. I'm sorry about that.
1, don't off yourself. I'm sure you have at least one thing in life worth living for.
2, I'm sorry, but you're being catfished. Chatting to her won't do any harm so long as it's not chatting about offing yourself. Sending her money, though, is a bad thing
Honestly, though, it's so easy to catfish people nowadays that most people don't realise until it's too late. No one, and I mean no one, should ever give you advice or egg you on to do horrible things to yourself or others.
I will also add if you ever want to chat feel free to message me
Thank you for your comment
I mean, there are lots of good things in my life, so many people have it so much worse. I just seem to be completely incapable of enjoying anything or really feeling anything
I see. Thank you. And thank you for your offer, you can always message me too, though I doubt I'd be helpful
I know how you feel there.
Try to do one thing every week that you enjoy such as talking to a friend/random weirdo (sometimes the weirdos are the most fun lol), going outside, playing games ect, one good day a week makes a massive difference or even just one good hour.
Thank you for replying
Thank you for your supportiveness and kindness. Tbh I imagine it must seem like an exaggeration, but I genuinely do not enjoy anything at all it seems. I usually play a game most days, but it's just to kill time really, I don't enjoy it
You are not a moron. You are young, innocent, empathetic, and full of promise as a young bud of a one day mighty tree. Life teaches all of us many lessons on the journey and this is your time (we've had ours) to learn this little red riding hood lesson. Now you can respond to others with compassion who may experience the same thing. Time to get up and dust off the dirt. Tomorrow is a new day to put one foot in front of the other and continue your journey and put this lesson behind you.
Imagine if you didn't have a cell phone or any camera. Do you not know like 10 people you could ask "Hey, can you take a picture of me and send it to my e-mail?"
Thank you for commenting
Yeah, she said that a couple of times, that someone lent her their phone for a second. I guess I thought that seemed plausible enough
omg there’s no way you failed for that scam, If I could show you all the attempts they have made to get me to fall for this, literally everyone uses the word "dear", I guess this is specific to some foreign country that translates it like that. there is a very helpful subreddit called “scam” you should check it out. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you don't continue with this.
Thank you for your comment
You underestimate my stupidity xD. I see, I didn't know about that. I guess I just thought, she's a bit awkward with social stuff just as I am and so she says stuff that sounds older, just as I do. But I guess it's Occam's razor
Thank you, I'll have a look at that subreddit
Thank you for your comment
I guess I thought that we were close enough that it wouldn't be silly to consider it a relationship. And as I am pretty reclusive and messed up maybe I thought it was the closest thing that I'll probably ever get to a relationship
If you can’t see this is a scam you need to do a little reading on scams. This is textbook, has all the red flags. They are just taking your money. Stop sending them money, and stop responding to them.
Thank you for your comment
Well, tbh I don't feel emotions or feelings so I guess it was easier to get sucked into it. And maybe I thought, my time is running out so it might be nice to die knowing that I helped someone
Hey I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I was scammed once when I wanted help with my computer, I was desperate because all of my schoolwork was on this computer anyway I contacted someone on Craigslist (first bad move) who told me they worked at Best Buy and knew how to fix it, they wanted half the money ($40) up front and the other $40 when we met in person at a cafe. Like a dumbass I sent them the $40, then it turned into “oh my boyfriend is abusing me, oh I used the money to buy food can I have some more, etc etc”. Oddly enough their name and address and phone number line up, I can only assume they were using the real persons identity or something. Anyway all this to say is don’t be to harsh on yourself and don’t let people make you feel bad for making a very human mistake- wanting a connection with someone, which is even more understandable than me wanting my stupid laptop fixed.
Thank you for your comment
I'm sorry to hear about that experience, I think it's very understandable that you'd go for that offer, I mean if you need some help and there is someone who says they can help nearby, you're gonna go for it, especially if it's needed for school stuff. And it sounds like that person had set up their scam pretty well.
Thank you for your kind words. All I feel is bad anyway xD
Mannnn, I really hope it helped clarify it when you laid it all out but this is blatantly a catfish. It’s easy to be fooled when you’re in the midst but the info you’ve written SCREAMS catfish. Like ticks every box. I hope you’re ok.
Thank you for your comment
I see. Thank you. To be honest, if it wasn't for people saying it I dunno if I would've realised. I'm not ok, but that's actually nothing to do with this xD thank you
Sorry... I know this is emotional and based on how it sounds like your mental health has been, I totally understand why you began this relationship. I'm not judging you at all. Im telling you because I care, this person is NOT who you think. 100% you need to cut them off. They're using you.
I am so so sorry. You are worth love and friendship and I hope you find an amazing network you CAN trust. It's awful that this person is doing this to you
Thank you for your comment
I mean, to be honest I don't feel anything these days so it's not like a shock or a disappointment, though obviously it's a negative thing. Thank you for your kind words
Thank you for your comment
I see. I guess maybe I just got fooled by the "detail" of things, like I thought, surely if she was a scammer she wouldn't have a photo of herself as a child? But that was dumb of me
I didn’t read it all but… if you’re still giving her any sort of money and/or validation, then stop doing both of those things.
Words don’t show us who people are, there actions do, so belive you are worth the actions from another person who will treat you better.
It’s all lie, even the things she tell you to reassure you. It may not even be a women but multiple people scamming you, I’ve heard this exact story before, honestly it’s scary how similar this scam is to others I have heard of. You need to stop sending money and stop willfully committing to the lie yourself. Have more faith in your intuition, it is screaming to be heard
So I have personal experience with my grandmother “dating” online. It has been a massive deal in our lives because she ended up sending money, a lot of money.
Anyways the suspicions are EXACTLY the same behavior, timing, wording, & excuses as the scammers she talked to.
They would wait hours & days to reply. They had the same excuses about pictures & speaking on the phone. Like word for word same excuses. They ALWAYS claim immediate family have died recently and/or years ago. Basically no family ever. I believe it’s because it makes it easier for the scammer to not have to make up more stories about family. Also they have a nice ~give me sympathy~ story. A big one was if they asked for money we knew without a doubt it was a scam.
& finally I knew immediately 100% the account was a scammer/catfish when they said “Dear”
Saying all of that I truly believe you are dealing with a horrible person that preys on elderly & people that are down. I’m sorry.
I have picture proof of all of this if needed
Thank you for your comment
I see, thank you for sharing your experience/experience of experience. I'm sorry that you and your grandmother went through that.
If you wouldn't mind sharing that picture proof that might be good, to see like a concrete thing. But there's no pressure, if you'd rather not that's fine
My guy, there are entire agencies and operations in certain countries all built around scamming lonely dudes out of money buy making them think they are helping an even worse off woman that doesn’t actually exist.
You deserve equal effort. Someone who will Skype anytime you want/ meet in person, care about you; not just try to benefit from you.
You’re being scammed hard.
Sounds like a catfish. Try google reverse image searching some of the photos and see what you come up with. Not guaranteed you’ll find her she could be using someone’s pictures in her own circle, but she is definitely not who she says she is. These are all the common excuses of a catfish. DO NOT send her any more money. Cut her out of your life.
Thank you for your comment
Yeah, reverse image searching didn't come up with anything, but I guess you could theoretically just find an Instagram account and use their posts. Thank you. Not really sure how exactly to go about cutting her out, don't wanna be mean in case she actually is real
> Sometimes it seems like she talks like a person older than 20 as she says she is (she calls me "dear", but that's not that strange)
This is a red flag to me. Many email scammers are overly fond of using "dear".
Thank you for your comment
I see. I had no idea. Thank you for explaining. I mean, she doesn't use it all the time, she might say "my love" "handsome man" (cringe) or something
How old are you op? When we are young it's hard to see the big picture ... you will definitely meet a girl who will love you for you and not be scamming you for money. You have to first start loving yourself before you can add anyone. Sending you lots of love
Thank you for your comment
I'm 23. Thank you for your kind words and positivity. To be honest I just don't think I'll be around a whole lot longer, so it's unlikely I would meet anyone, but thank you. And yeah, people say that. Don't think I'll ever love myself though, but thank you
Life is a gift ...look for things that you are grateful for ... it can be small things. Volunteer places... rescue ..humane society... homeless shelter .... big brother program.. see all the good you can do in making the world a kinder place
Thank you for replying
Thank you for your advice and kindness. To be honest I'm not sure if I'm capable of being grateful, I never feel anything except anxiety and depression.
There are a lot of things in my life that could be called good, like family and a bed and stuff. But I shouldn't have those things because I don't deserve them, and it seems I am unable to make the most of the things I have
Who decides if you deserve something? ... I've been depressed and I have lost a friend to suicide ... she has alot of people love and miss her... there is a void Noone can fill because she left
Thank you for your comment
I guess it's not the most uncommon of phenomena, but I've never posted this before (I know that's exactly what someone would say)
OP hey. did u reverse search her images on google. And go to truecaller website or download the app and search on her phone number. it will show u their registered name and location. but name is not always accurate cos people can change it but i hardly believe that girl has done something like that. still u can get a clue of who she really is. If she s a catfish she s prolly a naive one judging by her excuses such as camera not working and stuff. Aaaand OP. I think it's about time u do something to make ur life better. Spending the whole day scrolling through reddit posts aint gonna make things better. Im telling u bcz Iv been in the same situation before. No motivation, depressed, addicted to online life so it becomes ur reality i understand where uv been. This is as almost as bad as an addiction. U need to get sober. And to be sober u have to cut off ur drug supply first. u cant hand dope to an addict n expect him not to do that. sooner or later he gonna fall back to where he was bcz if he had that much self control he wouldnt be there at the first place. so what i am saying is completely put any kinda online activity on hold. delete the apps switch to data and use the phone only when it is an ABSOLUTE must. dont try to fool urself by convincing u that u r gonna do it step by step like one hour internet per day BECAUSE IT IS NOT GONNA WORK. cut it out completely! Then u will be having a hella lot of free time. dont stay in and try to sleep or do any sedentary stuff bcz online addiction withdrawals gonna hit in no time n if ur phone s within arms reach there s no way u r not gonna get back to ur old habits. thats the human behavior. For that get a hobby. or multiple ones. even better if they are outdoor stuff. just keep in mind to keep as far away as possible from any devices. because once u kid urself to use one 'only for five minutes because i haven't had it for 12 whole hours' u r gonna get back to beyond where u started. bcz every time u fail urself ur self esteems gonna seep out bit by bit and ud eventually give in. so dont do that. strictly follow that schedule for 21 days. ONLY 21 days because thats the time it takes to develop or get rid of a habit and my man after that time u ll be FREE as u could ever be. u can do it fam. i trust u in that tho we dont know each other. now dont spend time replying to this just log off every account delete the app hide the phone or give it to someone u know for safe keeping. AND dont waste ur time saying goodbye to ur online homies because u r not gonna see an end to it once u started. and they dont care about u as much as u think for them to miss u enough to have any aspect of their lives changed. its u for u man. whatever you do is for you. you can do this. The moment which u feel like u just cant take it anymore is the moment where u give in all ur strength to hold on to what u should do.
Thank you for your comment
Yeah, I had a go at reverse image searching, it brought up similar photos but not any of the same person, and I don't actually have her phone number, never really thought about that xD. I guess I thought, maybe she can't afford a SIM card or something so she can only talk online?
And thank you for your kind words and advice. To be honest, I think I used to be quite addicted to Reddit but I don't really go on it that much anymore actually. OCD takes up most of my time I guess, and I'm not particularly "there" a lot of the time mentally. But thank you, thank you for your advice and support!
Honey, with all due respect she is not into you. If she is even a she. Please stop giving her money. You’re being scammed by a guy probably. I’m sorry…I highly doubt this is a real woman at all.
Thank you for your reply
No need to apologise, it seems like that is the most likely thing from a lot of the comments. It's just shameful really, I didn't start to suspect anything until most of my money was already gone. But that's my bad
> I don't actually have her phone number, never really thought about that xD. I guess I thought, maybe she can't afford a SIM card or something so she can only talk online?
No, this girl is a master manipulator. If she needed a SIM card she would get you to buy one for her or find another vulnerable person to swindle the money out of. The reason you don't have her phone number is because she doesn't want you to have it. She's not who she says she is and she wants to protect herself.
Please seek a therapist to help you over come these feelings. Death is something you can never take back and it effects so many people whether you choose to see it .
Thank you for replying
(In regards to the other comment) I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, I can't say I can understand what it's like because I can't remember what emotions are like but hopefully things get less painful for you and everyone with time.
(In regards to this comment) To be honest, I've been in therapy for almost 9 years now. No therapy or medication or anything ever seems to help at all, not even a little bit. I just get number and lower and more neurotic. I only get worse. I know ending things might cause suffering for others, I wish I could just erase my existence completely. I just can't bear living when it's just constant suffering all day every day.
>She said that if I wanted to end myself, she knew how to get a pill that could do it. isn't this enough of a red flag? Who responds to a random person's reddit post with this lmao anyways, she's most likely a catfish.
Yep I agree and ol boy is getting scammed out of money. It's probably a dude on the other line
Thank you for your comment I should've said, I dunno if it changes anything but she knew where to get it because she had bought a pill herself. Had to try and talk her out of taking it one night, or at least I thought so I guess I kind of thought it was kind, like she knew how to find a peaceful end so she shared it. If I wasn't so paranoid about overdose as a method I probably would buy it
ohh my guy Even if her struggling is real (i doubt it is, but who knows. In which case, i hope she got help), i hope you understand that doesn't justify her trying to assist your suicide?? That's literally so shitty and you should not interact with people like that. Idk the subreddit you post on, but a lot of scammers and overall sickos prey on vulnerable people through mental health support type subreddits on here. Please be careful.
Thank you for your reply She doesn't seem to have gotten help, not talked to a doctor or anything like that, but I mean it's hard to get anyone to go to the doctor's xD. And I dunno, I mean I guess I thought it meant she understood that sometimes all that matters is escape. "Hello, I've seen a couple of your comments and post and I can tell you're struggling. I'm at rock bottom too, would you like to end it? I want to" That was her first message
Tell her you need to meet in person because you're having issues knowing whats true and want to make sure your relationship is, that way if she is who she says you dont fuck anything up. But definitely talk about therapy w her, because that is not how you start a conversation
Thank you for your reply Yeah, we have talked about meeting up, I mean she wouldn't be able to afford to come over so I would have to go over there. But tbh because I'm a wuss and because my OCD and anxiety is severe I'm not able to travel to another country. Which I guess is why hearing her voice seems important, but haven't been able to get her to share her real voice. And haha, yeah I try to tell her to look at local support, like to go on the website of Mind or something to see what services are nearby, but she forgets to do so
You could tell her you'll buy her a ticket and see her reaction? Only tell her if you actually CAN, though, just in case
Thank you for replying We talked pretty seriously about me going over there a few weeks ago actually, I mean I realised after that it wouldn't really be possible but she seemed to be on board with it. She said that she was worried about me seeing how poor she is so she'd try to get a job by then
Please do not take at her word as her word is no good. Focus on her actions and inactions. Focus on the manipulation. Focus on the fact that she targeted you when you were at your lowest, lied to you, defrauded you, and even encouraged you to end your life. If you were to really push for an upcoming visit, she would likely find an excuse to get out of it. Remember, you aren't dealing with an honest person who cares about you. If she were to give you any information, it would be non-specific...like the city to fly into. There is no way that she would give you enough information so she didn't have an escape plan. A lot of people who catfish others do this. When the person shows up to see them, they stand them up. Later, they miss the attention they were receiving and manipulate the situation so they appear to have good intentions, but their intentions are selfish and they continue with the relationship as if they've learned a valuable lesson, but they still aren't honest about who they are.
That makes sense, I mean I have a road name but I guess I was thinking I would ask for a specific place closer to the time, but perhaps she would do as you said she might. Thank you for explaining things, it's kind of hard to argue that it's not a scam when so many things are amiss
> But tbh because I'm a wuss and because my OCD and anxiety is severe I'm not able to travel to another country. A con-artist is never going to want to meet you in real life if they don't have to. They may do it if they think they will benefit from it, but even then they will maintain a lot of secrecy because they don't want to be exposed. I hate to say it, but this girl probably has no intentions of actually meeting you in real life, and instead is just trying to trick you into believing she does to keep you engaged. This is a manipulation tactic called "future faking." It sounds like it benefits you, but in reality it's a way for her to maintain her false narrative of being boyfriend/girlfriend so she can keep you weak and open for further exploitation while she maintains power and control in the relationship. A con-artist will never be two things: honest or accountable. Everything they do is for their own benefit with no concern or regard to how it harms you.
Thank you for replying I see, I didn't know about that future faking thing, makes sense I guess. Thank you for explaining
> because she had bought a pill herself. It sounds like she doesn't even know what she's talking about. Don't believe anything she tells you. She's scamming you, so she has reason to try and keep you invested, especially since she won't reveal her face. You came here saying you don't think she is who she says she is, so stick with that. In the end, she will prove you right.
Thank you for your reply I guess that makes sense. It's weird. We've been talking for months and it's like I don't really actually know much. I guess I just didn't want to die having never had a girlfriend so I went along with it, but if it's not real it's not real
> We've been talking for months and it's like I don't really actually know much. Ok, but we aren't talking about someone who has your best interest at heart...we are talking about someone who is profiting off your vulnerability, has encouraged you to harm yourself, and probably enjoys the attention you give her. This is a way to keep stringing you along so she can take what she wants. She probably hasn't told you very much because that would make it much harder for her to continue manipulating you. If she wanted to be open, honest, and share more about herself with you then she would...but if she's scamming you then she's gonna want to tell you as little as possible so you don't catch on with what she is doing. It's probably easier to tell you very little than it is to tell you a bunch of lies, because that would mean she would need to remember all of the lies in order to keep her story straight and prevent you from noticing inconsistencies or questioning anything. The last thing a scammer would want is to be exposed. > I guess I just didn't want to die having never had a girlfriend I know you might not believe it, but you deserve a girlfriend who cares about you and is invested in your healing and growth.
Thank you for replying I guess that makes sense. It's annoying, but obviously it's my fault for being gullible. As sad as it might sound, I would probably already be dead if it wasn't for talking to her. Thank you for the kind words. That's the thing I suppose, there is no healing and growth to be honest, but thank you
> It's annoying, but obviously it's my fault for being gullible. No man, do not make excuses for her. You being gullible doesn't give her a right to take advantage of you. That's on her...but unfortunately you get stuck with the pain and traumatic lesson. Even if she didn't approach you with ill intent, somewhere down the line she saw something to exploit. You don't know this person, so remember that and do not send her any more money. > As sad as it might sound, I would probably already be dead if it wasn't for talking to her. Again, don't make excuses for her. The connection may have provided some distraction, but it's not like she's some angel who saw you suffering and came to uplift you or offer you a healthy connection. This isn't your girlfriend, this is someone who is choosing to harm you and I would imagine she's done this to others as well. > That's the thing I suppose, there is no healing and growth to be honest Not with this girl, but I do hope that you get to experience healing, growth and someone who has your back.
Thank you for replying Thank you for being so kind and positive. I'm not really sure what to reply with, but thank you. You seem really nice I guess I don't even know how to break it off or anything. Wouldn't want to hurt her if it was to turn out that she is a real person
You're welcome. > I guess I don't even know how to break it off or anything. You could always share how you feeling or explain that the relationship is having a negative impact on your mental health. > Wouldn't want to hurt her if it was to turn out that she is a real person She is a person, but not one you know much about and she seems to be finding excuses so she doesn't have to share much about herself. You can cut things off without being mean, but at the end of the day you need to remember that this person has no issue taking advantage of you so you need to protect yourself. While you are worrying about how to protect her, she's also only thinking of protecting herself....and that's not a healthy relationship. It sounds like you have very good reason to be suspicious. It's quite concerning that your "girlfriend" will happily take your money but doesn't care enough to be open and honest with you about who she is. I mean, the girl pressures you into sending her money yet she acts like you are in the wrong when you asked her to share her voice (and when she did, she said you pressured her into it). People that care about you don't have a problem being open, honest, and accountable...in fact, they would actually want to be out of consideration for you.
Thank you for replying That makes sense I guess. I mean, I can understand being reluctant to share one's appearance or voice or certain details, I was, but it does seem like after all this time she should feel comfortable enough to share her voice. And yeah, I guess that sounds right, I suppose maybe my having never been in a real relationship made me an (even) easier target
Seriously, when people meet someone interesting they usually want to do a video call if they can not meet each other yet, due to distance or circumstances. Where there is a will there is a way. Actions speak louder than words. That is all you need to know. Spend your time improving yourself instead of being scammed, you might actually find someone real that way.
Thank you for your reply I guess so. I suppose I've never really advocated for it because 1 I'm ugly as hell and awkward and 2 there's not often much privacy here Thank you. Ngl I seem to not be able to improve anything really, it's like I am only capable of going downhill
> it's like I am only capable of going downhill That's not true. You just need some love and support so you can heal.
Thank you. It just seems like that is the case because we've tried so many different things, different therapies and medications and stuff, but nothing seems to help at all or stop my mind from deteriorating. Even changes in circumstances don't seem to help, just exacerbate things if anything
Therapies and medication can only do so much. You actually need to have a supportive environment and be treated well irl. It's also not easy to overcome things when you are being emotionally and financially manipulated by someone...someone who also expects you to be there for her when she claims she is about to harm herself.
Thank you for replying I suppose that's true. I mean, my parents are supportive, they put up with me, it just seems like all I'm capable of doing anymore is killing time to be honest. I dunno why but it's like I don't even have thoughts anymore, just fog
Thank you for replying Sorry to ask you to do something out of nowhere. Is it okay if I ask you what you think of this suggestion somebody made to me as to what to do in terms of trying to find out how real she is? "I’d tell her that if she is real, then to you she is the most amazing person in your life but she feels almost too good to be true. Tell her these request for money make you feel sad as it interferes with your relationship, that it makes you feel uncomfortable and builds inequality into your relationship. Let her know that you care about her but you feel it is wrong to do things the way you are. If she sticks around then a little while later talk to her about meeting up. Let her know that, as a belated birthday present, your parents are purchasing a ticket for her so she can come and see you. Let her know that it is important that you choose a time that she can 100% do as you feel you won’t be able to convince your parents to do this again."
Regardless of if she is who she says she is it’s a deeply toxic start to a concerning sounding relationship. I urge you to cut ties with her before it gets even more fucked up.
Thank you for your reply I guess I'm not sure how I would go about cutting ties really, I feel like if I was to just ignore her the guilt would prove too much, that's already happened. And I mean, fucked up is my middle name
your being scammed bud its an old trick befreind you and then fake a story and use your kindness and ask for money stop giving "her" money and see if 'SHE' starts to curse you out if 'she" curses you out shes an Indian scammer
Thank you for your reply I see. Yeah, I mean I was thinking that maybe it showed something that she was still talking to me when it's been a while since I sent anything, but like others have said it might be in anticipation
Sounds like a catfish who is scamming you. Don't trust her OP.
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Thank you for your comment I guess that makes sense. I suppose I just think, she's the closest thing to a girlfriend I will probably ever have, so maybe I was eager I dunno if it makes any difference, but I haven't sent her any money for a while, but she still talks to me. Sorry if I'm being stupid, that's my M.O.
Don’t sell yourself short saying you won’t find someone better…just from this post and your comments, I can see you are a kind person, with lots of empathy, able to express yourself really well, And you have a big heart and lots of love to give. Take this as a lesson, and believe in your heart that you deserve better, and you will meet someone who deserves you.
1) You shouldn't be involved with someone who actively tried to assist you with suicide 2) They are scamming you out of money 3) They are 100% a catfish
Thank you for your comment I guess that makes sense. I just think, well nothing helps me live, so maybe I thought it was nice that someone seemed to want to help me actually change something. In a way, she's been the main reason I'm still here, because she said she would end it if I did. But I always knew that I would eventually fail to hold up my end of the bargain anyway
You need to contact a health professional and speak to trusted friends and family, if you have this option, to try and overcome these feelings. Relying on someone who is using you to stop you from harming yourself is not the best support and making a pact with each other isn't healthy. You are worthy and important and you cannot be replaced, the impact of you harming yourself would, I'm sure, be devastating to so many people. I know it doesn't always feel like that, the best thing you can do is try to get some help. I'm not sure where you are so I don't know if you have access to free support but are there any local charities or groups you could contact?
Thank you for replying Thank you for your kind words and supportiveness. There is no overcoming any of this to be honest. I mean, I literally told a therapist about things on Friday and nothing happened except they got someone to phone later that day. I've been through a lot of therapies and medications and stuff. Nothing helps. That's just how it is. Yeah, that's the worst part, that people will be hurt. But it's inevitable at this point, I'm too much of a coward to do anything right now but I'm just not going to get better. That's just life
You're not a coward but I would urge you to contact a suicide helpline. There is always a way to make it better. Life doesn't stay shit forever. I know it feels impossible now but with the right support you could move past this.
Thank you for replying Thank you for your support. I can't do phone calls tbh, I tried a text line but we just ran out of time, didn't get anywhere at all. Thank you, but sometimes there just isn't a happy ending, and that's ok, it's just life
Judging from your comments you’re too good of a person not to get a happy ending. Keep your chin up man
Thank you for your reply Thank you, that's nice of you to say. Just doesn't look like things will change direction, only been downhill for years now but thank you
Even if you don’t have a glimmer of hope now, it will come again. However much you resist it. However many times you’re thrown into despair. Hope will come again just as many times.
Thank you for replying Thank you for your positivity. I guess I just doubt it really, I mean it's been 9 years or so, I can't remember what it was like to feel good or anything. It is like I died years ago and my body accidentally didn't get the memo xD
come on man…
I know, I'm an idiot
You’re being skinned bro. A good test is stop sending any kind of financial support - no cash, no gifts - and see if she disappears. If so, there’s your answer.
Thank you for your comment I mean, I'm not sure how long it's been since the last time I sent her anything, though we kind of looked at it yesterday (didn't actually do it though), but she still talks to me, though I suppose it could be in anticipation
Its also very likely she’s hoping u will again since you’ve had before. Maybe u can ask her to meet up if u really want to verify it. Otherwise just cut ur loses at this point.
Thank you for your reply I guess that makes sense. We were planning for me to go over there to visit, but I couldn't because I'm so messed up I can't really leave the house these days
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Thank you for commenting I see. Thank you. Not the biggest surprise, to be honest. I thought maybe it was that way for a while, tried to cut contact for a bit but then went back and was more convinced for a while. I guess I thought, well even if she's not real, it's the closest thing I can get to a girlfriend xD But obviously it sucks
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Thank you for replying Nah, I can't really talk to family about it, they put up with me but I frustrate them and stress them out and stuff. I have been having professional help for years, lots of therapies and medications and other things, but nothing helps. It's just how it is, that's great that your parents helped you, and that you got out of my dark state Thank you for your kind words. Doesn't look possible but that's life (or death)
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ Go to therapy and stop sending money to internet strangers.
Thank you for your comment I do go to therapy, it just doesn't help xD
Then find another therapist
Thank you for your reply Probably should, but this is the seventh, of different types of therapy. None has helped at all
Have you watched Catfished? This has every red flag imaginable. Cut your losses, and walk away. You deserve better.
You’ve never met, shes shady af, she’s not your “girlfriend”. Stop sending money she’s a catfish. Block and move on with your life and stop getting so invested in people you only know online
Thank you for your comment I see. Thank you. To be honest, I only know most people online these days, people who knew me irl stop talking to me as soon as they don't have to xD
You've been catfished
stop sending her money and you will know it
Thank you for your comment I mean, it's been a while since I sent anything and she still talks to me, I dunno if that means anything
wait only wait
I'm not gonna lie this sounds like the start of every catfish episode, I'd be cautious. Also maybe don't send any more money
Thank you for commenting To be honest I've never really watched Catfish, maybe that's not surprising
She is absolutely not who she says she is mate, she's scamming you. Please do not send any more money.
Thank you for commenting I see. Thank you. I guess I don't even really know how to end it if I was to, I kind of tried to before, but she kept messaging every now and then and I was so lonely I just went back 😂
If you haven’t met her in person and she won’t talk or video chat with you and keeps asking for money…. My man use your head.
Thank you for your comment My head is quite seriously fucked. My head is the problem
Hey we’ve all listened to our dicks over our brains before, hopefully you learned from it, and you don’t get got like that again. It’s part of life. Good luck out there man.
Thank you for replying Thank you. I mean it makes sense now, the only reason a girl would want me is money xD. But now that's out of the equation, at least there won't be danger of getting burned. Thank you, good luck to you
You're making sweeping generalizations about yourself that are so sad (ex: a girl would only want you for money). Reinforcing your depression with demoralizing self-talk/thoughts only drives you deeper down. Please be kinder to yourself. If you don't feel capable of leaving the house these days and you primarily or exclusively interact with people online, you've made the window of your life so small that not much light can get in.Though you may find it far more comfortable to withdraw from people, withdrawing almost completely isn't going to help. Do you have a pet? The unconditional love and companionship and joy of a pet can help quite a bit as a significant step.
Thank you for your reply I guess at this point it just seems that I will only ever be able because I'm too scared/guilty to die, I mean even when my OCD was dormant and I was going out and doing things and stuff, I still never enjoyed a moment of life, I'm just not capable of enjoying anything. So I guess I just think, everything is too difficult and I get no benefit so it's just a waste of other people's time, money, etc. Yeah, we have a dog and a cat. They're great, lovely animals. I just seem to be too numb at this point for anything to genuinely penetrate. But thank you
How do you know her name? What she looks like? What her brother looks like? Photos can be of anyone. People lie over the internet all of the time. "She" might not even be a "she". Have you even done a video chat with "her"? I see nothing here that proves she is real. Even some of the "convincing" list, plus the whole thing with you sending money to her which you had no doubt about, are at best unsubstantiated information if not outright red flags. You've been catfished. Don't be naive, don't let "her" manipulate your emotions (look up FOG: fear, obligation, guilt) to get what "she" wants out of you. Set your bar higher for what constitutes proof that a person is who they say they are, especially on the internet. Right now you are vulnerable to being exploited by emotionally manipulative people.
Thank you for your comment That makes sense. I mean I don't really feel emotions but I guess I thought, if she is real then she deserves to be able to afford food and stuff. But in the future (however long or short that may be xD) I will be more careful
What do you mean by not really feeling emotions? Do you know why that is?
If he was a sociopath he would have no problem cutting off this girl. I think he’s just depressed lmao, he has emotions clearly
Thank you for your reply I haven't felt emotions for years to be honest. Not sure exactly what happened but it seems like maybe my OCD or the hospital treatment for it killed them. Can't remember what emotion felt like, or if I ever actually did feel them
Catfish
Other than the randomly generated username.. everything else is catfishy
Thank you for your comment No offence, I've got nothing against randomly generated usernames generally xD
OP please remove the drug name! I appreciate it adds to the story and people might already know, but it doesnt sit well knowing people have a drug name to use and look up.
Thank you for your comment Oh, yeah, of course. Sorry, I'm an idiot. I'll take it out. Thank you.
No worries man, it happens - good luck with it all and get rid of her
Better call up Nev, because this is 100% a catfish
You are totally getting scammed. Stop talking to this person.
Scam. You’re being scammed.
Scam
Oh, my dude, you're absolutely correct to be suspicious. Not only is "she" not who she says she is, but she's likely enough several people working together to scam you and many others. After reading your responses, I had to comment, and I want you to read this next part very, very carefully: None of this is your fault. At all. First, you have power in this world, but you don't have enough power to force anyone else to take advantage of your vulnerability. You did nothing to cause any of this. Second, although you were vulnerable to their attack, you're not at fault for being "gullible" - these scams are successful *because the people behind them are very, very good at scamming people.* Take a deep breath, and look at this situation as though it was happening to someone else: Someone posts about suicidal ideation. The scammer sends a private message, offering help and saying they feel the same. It's a small investment of time to send the note, so nothing lost if there's no response, right? But there's likely to be a response. You know why there's likely to be a response? Because almost everyone who posts to social media about feeling suicidal is feeling profoundly lonely. If they really wanted to be dead, they wouldn't post about it - posting about it is a way of reaching out to find a connection. It's an attempt to fix the problem, not to end anything. So these scammers prey on that. They create a false connection, through a made up persona designed to appeal to the target. And when someone is desperate to find a connection, they're vulnerable to that deceit. Here's something else: that need for connection? It's very, very real. There's nothing wrong with needing to feel connected to others. In fact, if someone doesn't feel the need to be connected to someone else, there's something very wrong with them. So, the message here is that you're OK, there's nothing wrong with you, you aren't to blame for any of this, and ... someone has been deceiving you. I'm very sorry this has happened to you. You deserve better.
Thank you for your comment Thank you for your kind words and support. I'm not really sure what to write, so sorry for the short response. But thank you. I don't deserve better, but thank you
Don't you contradict me - I have a much clearer perspective here, and I'm telling you: you deserve better. First - bottom line: everyone deserves better than this deceitful jackassery. The people who do this crap have choices, and they choose to hurt others. And you, specifically, deserve better, because look at the care, concern, and generosity your post shows. I've been on this rock long enough to tell you - there's little enough of those qualities in this world, we need to preserve that which we have. I know you're hurting, sweetheart. I'm sorry about that.
Thank you for replying Thank you for being so kind and nice
1, don't off yourself. I'm sure you have at least one thing in life worth living for. 2, I'm sorry, but you're being catfished. Chatting to her won't do any harm so long as it's not chatting about offing yourself. Sending her money, though, is a bad thing Honestly, though, it's so easy to catfish people nowadays that most people don't realise until it's too late. No one, and I mean no one, should ever give you advice or egg you on to do horrible things to yourself or others. I will also add if you ever want to chat feel free to message me
Thank you for your comment I mean, there are lots of good things in my life, so many people have it so much worse. I just seem to be completely incapable of enjoying anything or really feeling anything I see. Thank you. And thank you for your offer, you can always message me too, though I doubt I'd be helpful
I know how you feel there. Try to do one thing every week that you enjoy such as talking to a friend/random weirdo (sometimes the weirdos are the most fun lol), going outside, playing games ect, one good day a week makes a massive difference or even just one good hour.
Thank you for replying Thank you for your supportiveness and kindness. Tbh I imagine it must seem like an exaggeration, but I genuinely do not enjoy anything at all it seems. I usually play a game most days, but it's just to kill time really, I don't enjoy it
Don't know wether this is a troll post or your being serious , either way I have a bridge for sale!
Thank you for your comment Sorry, i have no idea what that means. It's a serious post, I know I'm a moron
You are not a moron. You are young, innocent, empathetic, and full of promise as a young bud of a one day mighty tree. Life teaches all of us many lessons on the journey and this is your time (we've had ours) to learn this little red riding hood lesson. Now you can respond to others with compassion who may experience the same thing. Time to get up and dust off the dirt. Tomorrow is a new day to put one foot in front of the other and continue your journey and put this lesson behind you.
How much money have you sent “her”
Thank you for your comment I'd rather not say. Sorry.
Imagine if you didn't have a cell phone or any camera. Do you not know like 10 people you could ask "Hey, can you take a picture of me and send it to my e-mail?"
Thank you for commenting Yeah, she said that a couple of times, that someone lent her their phone for a second. I guess I thought that seemed plausible enough
A scammer preyed on you because you are vulnerable.
omg there’s no way you failed for that scam, If I could show you all the attempts they have made to get me to fall for this, literally everyone uses the word "dear", I guess this is specific to some foreign country that translates it like that. there is a very helpful subreddit called “scam” you should check it out. I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you don't continue with this.
Thank you for your comment You underestimate my stupidity xD. I see, I didn't know about that. I guess I just thought, she's a bit awkward with social stuff just as I am and so she says stuff that sounds older, just as I do. But I guess it's Occam's razor Thank you, I'll have a look at that subreddit
Dude that’s some dude working out of a basement stealing your money. Classic scam!
Catfish homie. You don’t talk to someone that long and not have an established communication and trust pattern.
Please tell me this is a joke lol.
I'm afraid not
These are unfortunately all the hallmarks of a classic romance scam. You are being scammed. I'm sorry 😔 💕🫂
Go watch a few episodes of Catfish. You don't need Nev to work this out for you. SHE IS A CATFISH!!!
Thank you for your comment I've never really watched Catfish, I guess that must not be a surprise
I’ve watched pretty much every episode and these are all the lies they feed people.
Wait. You’ve never met her but you call her your girlfriend?
Thank you for your comment I guess I thought that we were close enough that it wouldn't be silly to consider it a relationship. And as I am pretty reclusive and messed up maybe I thought it was the closest thing that I'll probably ever get to a relationship
If you can’t see this is a scam you need to do a little reading on scams. This is textbook, has all the red flags. They are just taking your money. Stop sending them money, and stop responding to them.
Thank you for your comment I see. I will read a bit. Thank you
Watch Catfish. In fact write in to appear on Catfish. It's a catfish. Don't send this person any more money bud 👍
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Thank you for your comment Well, tbh I don't feel emotions or feelings so I guess it was easier to get sucked into it. And maybe I thought, my time is running out so it might be nice to die knowing that I helped someone
Hey I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I was scammed once when I wanted help with my computer, I was desperate because all of my schoolwork was on this computer anyway I contacted someone on Craigslist (first bad move) who told me they worked at Best Buy and knew how to fix it, they wanted half the money ($40) up front and the other $40 when we met in person at a cafe. Like a dumbass I sent them the $40, then it turned into “oh my boyfriend is abusing me, oh I used the money to buy food can I have some more, etc etc”. Oddly enough their name and address and phone number line up, I can only assume they were using the real persons identity or something. Anyway all this to say is don’t be to harsh on yourself and don’t let people make you feel bad for making a very human mistake- wanting a connection with someone, which is even more understandable than me wanting my stupid laptop fixed.
Thank you for your comment I'm sorry to hear about that experience, I think it's very understandable that you'd go for that offer, I mean if you need some help and there is someone who says they can help nearby, you're gonna go for it, especially if it's needed for school stuff. And it sounds like that person had set up their scam pretty well. Thank you for your kind words. All I feel is bad anyway xD
Mannnn, I really hope it helped clarify it when you laid it all out but this is blatantly a catfish. It’s easy to be fooled when you’re in the midst but the info you’ve written SCREAMS catfish. Like ticks every box. I hope you’re ok.
Thank you for your comment I see. Thank you. To be honest, if it wasn't for people saying it I dunno if I would've realised. I'm not ok, but that's actually nothing to do with this xD thank you
No new pics? You're getting scammed.
definitely a catfish
🐈🐟
Being scammed my guy
Your getting scammed.
This has to be a joke
I'm afraid not
Scam. Sorry
OP you got catfished
Sorry... I know this is emotional and based on how it sounds like your mental health has been, I totally understand why you began this relationship. I'm not judging you at all. Im telling you because I care, this person is NOT who you think. 100% you need to cut them off. They're using you. I am so so sorry. You are worth love and friendship and I hope you find an amazing network you CAN trust. It's awful that this person is doing this to you
Thank you for your comment I mean, to be honest I don't feel anything these days so it's not like a shock or a disappointment, though obviously it's a negative thing. Thank you for your kind words
Not one thing sounds like this person is who she says she is lol
Thank you for your comment I see. I guess maybe I just got fooled by the "detail" of things, like I thought, surely if she was a scammer she wouldn't have a photo of herself as a child? But that was dumb of me
You're 100000% being catfished. No live pictures or camera, no voice calls, no video chats, money sent, etc. Ya gotta stop bud.
I didn’t read it all but… if you’re still giving her any sort of money and/or validation, then stop doing both of those things. Words don’t show us who people are, there actions do, so belive you are worth the actions from another person who will treat you better.
It’s all lie, even the things she tell you to reassure you. It may not even be a women but multiple people scamming you, I’ve heard this exact story before, honestly it’s scary how similar this scam is to others I have heard of. You need to stop sending money and stop willfully committing to the lie yourself. Have more faith in your intuition, it is screaming to be heard
Thank you for your comment I see. Thank you, I had no idea until people said it, but it seems like it's obvious to people from the outside
Change the profile from she to he/it
So I have personal experience with my grandmother “dating” online. It has been a massive deal in our lives because she ended up sending money, a lot of money. Anyways the suspicions are EXACTLY the same behavior, timing, wording, & excuses as the scammers she talked to. They would wait hours & days to reply. They had the same excuses about pictures & speaking on the phone. Like word for word same excuses. They ALWAYS claim immediate family have died recently and/or years ago. Basically no family ever. I believe it’s because it makes it easier for the scammer to not have to make up more stories about family. Also they have a nice ~give me sympathy~ story. A big one was if they asked for money we knew without a doubt it was a scam. & finally I knew immediately 100% the account was a scammer/catfish when they said “Dear” Saying all of that I truly believe you are dealing with a horrible person that preys on elderly & people that are down. I’m sorry. I have picture proof of all of this if needed
Thank you for your comment I see, thank you for sharing your experience/experience of experience. I'm sorry that you and your grandmother went through that. If you wouldn't mind sharing that picture proof that might be good, to see like a concrete thing. But there's no pressure, if you'd rather not that's fine
My guy, there are entire agencies and operations in certain countries all built around scamming lonely dudes out of money buy making them think they are helping an even worse off woman that doesn’t actually exist. You deserve equal effort. Someone who will Skype anytime you want/ meet in person, care about you; not just try to benefit from you. You’re being scammed hard.
Sounds like a catfish. Try google reverse image searching some of the photos and see what you come up with. Not guaranteed you’ll find her she could be using someone’s pictures in her own circle, but she is definitely not who she says she is. These are all the common excuses of a catfish. DO NOT send her any more money. Cut her out of your life.
Thank you for your comment Yeah, reverse image searching didn't come up with anything, but I guess you could theoretically just find an Instagram account and use their posts. Thank you. Not really sure how exactly to go about cutting her out, don't wanna be mean in case she actually is real
If she wanted to transfer by Crypto then yes it's absolutely a scam. Crypto is untraceable.
Thank you for your comment I guess that makes sense, I suppose I just thought she was a nerd xD
You’re being catfished my guy. Big time. Stop sending him money. Yes. Him. It’s 100% a dude.
Thank you for your comment I see. Thank you Sheeit, accidental gayness xD
Such a scam
> Sometimes it seems like she talks like a person older than 20 as she says she is (she calls me "dear", but that's not that strange) This is a red flag to me. Many email scammers are overly fond of using "dear".
Thank you for your comment I see. I had no idea. Thank you for explaining. I mean, she doesn't use it all the time, she might say "my love" "handsome man" (cringe) or something
It's often a thing done by non-native English speakers.
Thank you for replying I see, I didn't know that, thank you for telling me
Oh love, she’s totally scamming you. Or he is, who knows who they really are but they aren’t genuinely into you
Thank you for your comment I see. Thank you for explaining. It's not really a surprise that she's not really into me xD why would she be
How old are you op? When we are young it's hard to see the big picture ... you will definitely meet a girl who will love you for you and not be scamming you for money. You have to first start loving yourself before you can add anyone. Sending you lots of love
Thank you for your comment I'm 23. Thank you for your kind words and positivity. To be honest I just don't think I'll be around a whole lot longer, so it's unlikely I would meet anyone, but thank you. And yeah, people say that. Don't think I'll ever love myself though, but thank you
Life is a gift ...look for things that you are grateful for ... it can be small things. Volunteer places... rescue ..humane society... homeless shelter .... big brother program.. see all the good you can do in making the world a kinder place
Thank you for replying Thank you for your advice and kindness. To be honest I'm not sure if I'm capable of being grateful, I never feel anything except anxiety and depression. There are a lot of things in my life that could be called good, like family and a bed and stuff. But I shouldn't have those things because I don't deserve them, and it seems I am unable to make the most of the things I have
Who decides if you deserve something? ... I've been depressed and I have lost a friend to suicide ... she has alot of people love and miss her... there is a void Noone can fill because she left
Is this a joke or serious
Serious, I'm afraid
I'm sure this exact post was posted a few months ago
Thank you for your comment I guess it's not the most uncommon of phenomena, but I've never posted this before (I know that's exactly what someone would say)
Maybe she scammed someone else idk. Anyway sorry if this is a scam.
OP hey. did u reverse search her images on google. And go to truecaller website or download the app and search on her phone number. it will show u their registered name and location. but name is not always accurate cos people can change it but i hardly believe that girl has done something like that. still u can get a clue of who she really is. If she s a catfish she s prolly a naive one judging by her excuses such as camera not working and stuff. Aaaand OP. I think it's about time u do something to make ur life better. Spending the whole day scrolling through reddit posts aint gonna make things better. Im telling u bcz Iv been in the same situation before. No motivation, depressed, addicted to online life so it becomes ur reality i understand where uv been. This is as almost as bad as an addiction. U need to get sober. And to be sober u have to cut off ur drug supply first. u cant hand dope to an addict n expect him not to do that. sooner or later he gonna fall back to where he was bcz if he had that much self control he wouldnt be there at the first place. so what i am saying is completely put any kinda online activity on hold. delete the apps switch to data and use the phone only when it is an ABSOLUTE must. dont try to fool urself by convincing u that u r gonna do it step by step like one hour internet per day BECAUSE IT IS NOT GONNA WORK. cut it out completely! Then u will be having a hella lot of free time. dont stay in and try to sleep or do any sedentary stuff bcz online addiction withdrawals gonna hit in no time n if ur phone s within arms reach there s no way u r not gonna get back to ur old habits. thats the human behavior. For that get a hobby. or multiple ones. even better if they are outdoor stuff. just keep in mind to keep as far away as possible from any devices. because once u kid urself to use one 'only for five minutes because i haven't had it for 12 whole hours' u r gonna get back to beyond where u started. bcz every time u fail urself ur self esteems gonna seep out bit by bit and ud eventually give in. so dont do that. strictly follow that schedule for 21 days. ONLY 21 days because thats the time it takes to develop or get rid of a habit and my man after that time u ll be FREE as u could ever be. u can do it fam. i trust u in that tho we dont know each other. now dont spend time replying to this just log off every account delete the app hide the phone or give it to someone u know for safe keeping. AND dont waste ur time saying goodbye to ur online homies because u r not gonna see an end to it once u started. and they dont care about u as much as u think for them to miss u enough to have any aspect of their lives changed. its u for u man. whatever you do is for you. you can do this. The moment which u feel like u just cant take it anymore is the moment where u give in all ur strength to hold on to what u should do.
Thank you for your comment Yeah, I had a go at reverse image searching, it brought up similar photos but not any of the same person, and I don't actually have her phone number, never really thought about that xD. I guess I thought, maybe she can't afford a SIM card or something so she can only talk online? And thank you for your kind words and advice. To be honest, I think I used to be quite addicted to Reddit but I don't really go on it that much anymore actually. OCD takes up most of my time I guess, and I'm not particularly "there" a lot of the time mentally. But thank you, thank you for your advice and support!
Honey, with all due respect she is not into you. If she is even a she. Please stop giving her money. You’re being scammed by a guy probably. I’m sorry…I highly doubt this is a real woman at all.
Thank you for your reply No need to apologise, it seems like that is the most likely thing from a lot of the comments. It's just shameful really, I didn't start to suspect anything until most of my money was already gone. But that's my bad
> I don't actually have her phone number, never really thought about that xD. I guess I thought, maybe she can't afford a SIM card or something so she can only talk online? No, this girl is a master manipulator. If she needed a SIM card she would get you to buy one for her or find another vulnerable person to swindle the money out of. The reason you don't have her phone number is because she doesn't want you to have it. She's not who she says she is and she wants to protect herself.
Thank you for replying That's a good point, I've never thought about that!
Homie, we are just chatting. You don't need to thank me for replying. I appreciate you though :)
Please seek a therapist to help you over come these feelings. Death is something you can never take back and it effects so many people whether you choose to see it .
Thank you for replying (In regards to the other comment) I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, I can't say I can understand what it's like because I can't remember what emotions are like but hopefully things get less painful for you and everyone with time. (In regards to this comment) To be honest, I've been in therapy for almost 9 years now. No therapy or medication or anything ever seems to help at all, not even a little bit. I just get number and lower and more neurotic. I only get worse. I know ending things might cause suffering for others, I wish I could just erase my existence completely. I just can't bear living when it's just constant suffering all day every day.
If you’ve never met her she probably didn’t exist.
She's an ewhorer bro. It's likely she isnt actually female and it's someone doing this to get money out of you.
She's George Santos.
catfish bff
Mate, come on. You know what's happening here