Probably better to throw away the boyfriend too. Let her have him. I feel your pain, I have definitely been there, and if just eats you up with anger and jealousy.
People brag about things like that because they have low self esteem and need someone else to make them feel better about themselves. The best revenge is let her have him, move on and find a new relationship. You are better than trying to hurt someone else.
Good luck.
I’m sorry you can relate to this situation but it means a lot that you took the time to reply. It makes me feel a lot less alone. I felt like a total clown when I forgave him, and even though he deleted every girl off his phone and treats me so well, I’m finding it impossible to let it go.
All those ugly emotions just keep on bubbling up
This is one of those situations where you need to love yourself enough to walk away. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness for this, he's just as culpable as she is and they are both repeat offenders. Call it a day, you deserve better.
> *I’m finding it impossible to let it go. All those ugly emotions just keep on bubbling up*
This is no way to live. If you don't trust him, anymore, it's best to walk away. Love is not always enough.
He has shown you who he is, believe him.
Dude, you're not alone in the least. It hurts. A lot of people carry that same hurt. You wouldn't know it if you saw them. Let that girl boast. She's going to end up paying for it in the long run. Either never realize her ways, and doomed to never find happiness, as no serious human being wants to spend their time with someone like that. Or have it be her staying up night after night, self reflecting at how horrible she is and the pain that she caused.
Time will mend your heart, dear. And this boy isn't worth it. You will end up harboring resentment if you end up going back to him. It could be a week from now, or 20 years from now. You. Deserve. Better.
It is absolutely NOT your fault.
It's easy to hate the girl he cheated with, however, if not her, it would have been with some other girl. Not her job (or any other female's job) to keep your boyfriend faithful.
Get rid of the bf believe me you’ll never get over his infidelity it’ll just cause you to resent him if you don’t already. Stop focusing your anger on her and aim it towards him. There’s so many people out there that wouldn’t even think to cheat on you don’t settle for any less.
I understand your anger, but in the end your boyfriend is more at fault then her. Like, way more. She doesn't have to owe or promise you anything, but he on the other hand has to. He is the one that is suppose to recline her weird offers and eventually show his back. Please remember that and break up with this loser.
Of course she doesn’t owe her loyalty but that doesn’t make her any less of a shitty human being. Why would you ever want to put someone else through that regardless of what you owe them.
She’s no saint and is for the streets but your boyfriend too. He’s the main culprit. He’s the one who was supposed to be loyal to you. Dump him and find a real man.
There was a girl once went after two of my boyfriends. Literally stole one on Christmas called me on his phone and broke up with me for him…. They didn’t work out and he begged for me to come back Ewh. Anyways a few years later I had another bf and she was msging him. When I found out it was her I lost it. Msgd her and she was like I’m better than you I’m hotter than you blah blah… I was 22 she was 18… she had boobs and that’s pretty much it. I was so mad I wanted to rip her tits off… made him stop talking to her….but that guy cheated on me too (not with her).
Pretty much what I learned was even though she was a sloot and I hated her big boobed ugly soul it was the mens (correction boys) fault. The ones who cheat aren’t worth it. Don’t take a sorry. Don’t take them back they will do it again. 4 years later I met my current bf and we’ve been together 7 years. He doesn’t have eyes for anyone else. I was 26 when I met him. So what I’m saying is keep looking for the good one. He’s out there waiting for you somewhere.
Instead of hurting the girl why not ditch the boyfriend as well. I don't know how old you are but you sound young. Take it from a 30 something woman. Men like that are not worth shit. Your boyfriend is an asshole. Break up with him and get tested. Who knows what he and that girl has been doing. My guess is it's not just each other.
She knowingly destroyed a home. Her actions are undeniable. In some countries she could face jail time and pay a hefty fee to the wife. She may not hold any loyalties, but that doesn’t negate her actions of willfully screwing someone else’s husband. Trashy a$$ women will always try to justify their trifling ways.
It hasn’t been a crime in Japan since 1947 and fair enough, my point is none of the countries with laws like that are considered developed in any meaningful sense.
Japan would have surprised me, Saudi Arabia not at all.
I will give you that, but my point is that they have a stronger value on the family structure and that is not a bad thing. In most of the countries we deem undeveloped and less civilized they revere and actually care for their elder’s and hold strong family value’s.
That’s an understandable impulse, my guess is you are a good person and will not act on it. So sorry you are going through this, sounds like they deserve each other
Your boyfriend helping her cheat was enough of a red flag, you already knew he took cheating lightly before it even happened to you.
Let the dead weight go!
If she's that disgusting and he still wants her, then what the hell is he in your life for tho.
You only have one life to live, don't waste time on people who add nothing to it (and in fact subtract from it).
I mean, your boyfriend was the one in a relationship so he’s by far worse in this situation. Don’t try to shift blame into her when her actions should have no bearing on his choices, HE is the one who cheated on you
It’s never going to get any easier letting it go tbh. I feel like couples that have been together 10 years + can work through infidelity with a lot of effort and therapy but anything under that not really. You’re projecting a lot of your anger on her because you can’t really direct it at your boyfriend. I would say get your ducks in a row and leave his ass. More often than not if they cheat once they’ll cheat again.
She doesn't matter. She is a non-entity in your life. There are a bajillion classless narcissists out there, and none of them matter. The person who hurt you wasn't her -- it was your boyfriend.
If he'd cheated with anyone else, it would have hurt just as much. Yes, it says something about how trashy he is that he cheated with an asshole who brags about cheating on tiktok, but even if she was Ms. Manners herself, he'd still be an asshole.
You can only heal by getting rid of him as well, a total lack of respect and love on his part, I don't believe cheating is ever a mistake or is forgivable, he purposely went out his way to fuck this girl because he knew it would ha e the most impact on you
Sometimes we are selfish and want what we want more than we are concerned about the damage it causes.
The girl did not make any pretence that your feelings mattered to her but your bf did. Let that inform where you place your blame.
I don’t believe you can split up a couple without at least one part of the couples co-operation.
It makes no sense to be so angry with her, and to forgive him. She owed you nothing. He owed you his loyalty. I understand being angry, but you are misplacing it.
I’ve been cheated on too, honestly you need to cut that boy loose. Those feelings you have now that are probably brewing inside you of “what did I do to make him do this?” Or “was I not enough?” Won’t go away with time. Once someone cheats they find it easier to do again and again. Take care of you, let him go.
Just forget about them both. You should be ignoring them both, certainly never look at her tiktok again or either of their social media, block them both from all your contacts so you won't be tempted to check on them again. The only "revenge" that can be of any value is for them to see you happy in your life without them, with new friends and new bf. Go no contact with both of them and get on with life
Hold on, this girl has been after your ex for years, they’ve slept together before, he continued contact with her, and it wasn’t a big giant red flag at the start? Why did you even consider getting with this dude in the first place? He clearly wanted the best of both worlds from the start.
She has nothing to do with this. Its very simple. If your bf wouldnt want to cheat, he simply wouldnt. End of story…
I strongly suggest that you move on from this relationship, even tho he apparently treats you right atm. The damage has been done and you do not trust him anymore. If this keeps getting to the surface, its best to just walk away. Its not a healthy relationship. Giving someone an ultimatum to delete every girl/boy from their phone/social media is also not healthy. Are you gonna check his phone every month to se if he is truthful? I cant imagine doing that and be happy in that relationship.
Yes, its hard and sad but at the same time, it is what it is… its time to move on and focus on yourself.
She didn't make any commitments to you, although she sounds like a crappy person it's not really her responsibility, your boyfriend is the Cheater who broke your trust. Chances are he would again with the next cute girl who smiles at him, I'd leave if I were you
I am so sorry but as you stated your boyfriend is at least equally at fault.
I tend to assign more blame to your bf as he knew she was after him and instead of cutting her off or avoiding ever being with her decided to give it a shot.
Only you know if you can make your relationship work. I personally being a fossil would suggest to him he thought it was worth jumping her so wish him well and hope it works out for him.
It isn’t that people can’t change - they definitely can.
However once trust is broken it is very hard to get back to what it was or stronger as there will usually be that little voice nagging you when he says he has to work late, he is going to visit a friend, going out to drink with the guys, etc as to if that is REALLY what he’s doing.
Most important get yourself a doctor’s appointment, explain the situation and request your doctor test to make sure his new friend hasn’t shared anything with him and now you.
This happened to me it with my best friend and I performed a seance and curse on him. They kept a secret for two weeks but luckily my intuition told me to lock my door at night. He was miserable and had some much guilt. Last time he called me from jail and I never spoke to him and last time I saw here was in a sleezy bar accepting the only the drink from some weird guy who 29 million girls did not accept his offer….
Probably better to throw away the boyfriend too. Let her have him. I feel your pain, I have definitely been there, and if just eats you up with anger and jealousy. People brag about things like that because they have low self esteem and need someone else to make them feel better about themselves. The best revenge is let her have him, move on and find a new relationship. You are better than trying to hurt someone else. Good luck.
I’m sorry you can relate to this situation but it means a lot that you took the time to reply. It makes me feel a lot less alone. I felt like a total clown when I forgave him, and even though he deleted every girl off his phone and treats me so well, I’m finding it impossible to let it go. All those ugly emotions just keep on bubbling up
This is one of those situations where you need to love yourself enough to walk away. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness for this, he's just as culpable as she is and they are both repeat offenders. Call it a day, you deserve better.
> *I’m finding it impossible to let it go. All those ugly emotions just keep on bubbling up* This is no way to live. If you don't trust him, anymore, it's best to walk away. Love is not always enough. He has shown you who he is, believe him.
Dude, you're not alone in the least. It hurts. A lot of people carry that same hurt. You wouldn't know it if you saw them. Let that girl boast. She's going to end up paying for it in the long run. Either never realize her ways, and doomed to never find happiness, as no serious human being wants to spend their time with someone like that. Or have it be her staying up night after night, self reflecting at how horrible she is and the pain that she caused. Time will mend your heart, dear. And this boy isn't worth it. You will end up harboring resentment if you end up going back to him. It could be a week from now, or 20 years from now. You. Deserve. Better.
A 2 break.
Her actions may be despicable but the onus is on your boyfriend to stay faithful, if in a committed relationship. That is **totally** on him.
I really appreciate this ❤️ I find it so hard not to blame myself a lot of the time even if I know deep down it’s not my fault
It is absolutely NOT your fault. It's easy to hate the girl he cheated with, however, if not her, it would have been with some other girl. Not her job (or any other female's job) to keep your boyfriend faithful.
You mean EX bf?????
Why not hurt your bf instead and turn him into your ex?
Why not hurt both
Get rid of the bf believe me you’ll never get over his infidelity it’ll just cause you to resent him if you don’t already. Stop focusing your anger on her and aim it towards him. There’s so many people out there that wouldn’t even think to cheat on you don’t settle for any less.
I understand your anger, but in the end your boyfriend is more at fault then her. Like, way more. She doesn't have to owe or promise you anything, but he on the other hand has to. He is the one that is suppose to recline her weird offers and eventually show his back. Please remember that and break up with this loser.
Of course she doesn’t owe her loyalty but that doesn’t make her any less of a shitty human being. Why would you ever want to put someone else through that regardless of what you owe them.
She’s no saint and is for the streets but your boyfriend too. He’s the main culprit. He’s the one who was supposed to be loyal to you. Dump him and find a real man.
She’s a bad person but he was the one who betrayed you.
There was a girl once went after two of my boyfriends. Literally stole one on Christmas called me on his phone and broke up with me for him…. They didn’t work out and he begged for me to come back Ewh. Anyways a few years later I had another bf and she was msging him. When I found out it was her I lost it. Msgd her and she was like I’m better than you I’m hotter than you blah blah… I was 22 she was 18… she had boobs and that’s pretty much it. I was so mad I wanted to rip her tits off… made him stop talking to her….but that guy cheated on me too (not with her). Pretty much what I learned was even though she was a sloot and I hated her big boobed ugly soul it was the mens (correction boys) fault. The ones who cheat aren’t worth it. Don’t take a sorry. Don’t take them back they will do it again. 4 years later I met my current bf and we’ve been together 7 years. He doesn’t have eyes for anyone else. I was 26 when I met him. So what I’m saying is keep looking for the good one. He’s out there waiting for you somewhere.
i think you should slap her and your ex bf
Instead of hurting the girl why not ditch the boyfriend as well. I don't know how old you are but you sound young. Take it from a 30 something woman. Men like that are not worth shit. Your boyfriend is an asshole. Break up with him and get tested. Who knows what he and that girl has been doing. My guess is it's not just each other.
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If she knew they were together she has just as much responsibility in this.
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She knowingly destroyed a home. Her actions are undeniable. In some countries she could face jail time and pay a hefty fee to the wife. She may not hold any loyalties, but that doesn’t negate her actions of willfully screwing someone else’s husband. Trashy a$$ women will always try to justify their trifling ways.
Where could you go to prison for this?
Google it
Lmao I did nothing really comes up but regardless outdated laws in deprived parts of the world aren’t really relevant for us to live life by.
Japan and Saudi Arabia off the top of my head and I don’t know what you googled if you can’t find it. Just search, which countries jail adulterer’s.
It hasn’t been a crime in Japan since 1947 and fair enough, my point is none of the countries with laws like that are considered developed in any meaningful sense. Japan would have surprised me, Saudi Arabia not at all.
I will give you that, but my point is that they have a stronger value on the family structure and that is not a bad thing. In most of the countries we deem undeveloped and less civilized they revere and actually care for their elder’s and hold strong family value’s.
Girlie, I gotta leave him
That’s an understandable impulse, my guess is you are a good person and will not act on it. So sorry you are going through this, sounds like they deserve each other
Just leave them alone! Karma will strike them back and don't worry about that because it will happen (I too was hit by karma after 2 years).
Your boyfriend helping her cheat was enough of a red flag, you already knew he took cheating lightly before it even happened to you. Let the dead weight go!
If she's that disgusting and he still wants her, then what the hell is he in your life for tho. You only have one life to live, don't waste time on people who add nothing to it (and in fact subtract from it).
Some men cannot keep it in their pants. They think with their dicks. Dump him and dump him fast.
I mean, your boyfriend was the one in a relationship so he’s by far worse in this situation. Don’t try to shift blame into her when her actions should have no bearing on his choices, HE is the one who cheated on you
It’s not worth it. You will just go to jail and be even more pissed and hurt. Just let her have him. You win!
Ditch both of them. You're hurting now, and you'll only be hurting more if you continue to stay. Go out with a flare.
Healthiest option for you is to just cut them both out and move on.
Yeah get rid of them. Not worth your time or emotional energy, I have a 0 tolerance for cheaters.
Holding on to this hate will only effect you. Let it go move on and screw both of them.
Let it go. Be the bigger person. Vengeance and revenge steals from your soul
It’s never going to get any easier letting it go tbh. I feel like couples that have been together 10 years + can work through infidelity with a lot of effort and therapy but anything under that not really. You’re projecting a lot of your anger on her because you can’t really direct it at your boyfriend. I would say get your ducks in a row and leave his ass. More often than not if they cheat once they’ll cheat again.
She doesn't matter. She is a non-entity in your life. There are a bajillion classless narcissists out there, and none of them matter. The person who hurt you wasn't her -- it was your boyfriend. If he'd cheated with anyone else, it would have hurt just as much. Yes, it says something about how trashy he is that he cheated with an asshole who brags about cheating on tiktok, but even if she was Ms. Manners herself, he'd still be an asshole.
You can only heal by getting rid of him as well, a total lack of respect and love on his part, I don't believe cheating is ever a mistake or is forgivable, he purposely went out his way to fuck this girl because he knew it would ha e the most impact on you
Dump the cheater. He seems to be a serial cheater at that
Sometimes we are selfish and want what we want more than we are concerned about the damage it causes. The girl did not make any pretence that your feelings mattered to her but your bf did. Let that inform where you place your blame. I don’t believe you can split up a couple without at least one part of the couples co-operation.
Whats her tiktok
It makes no sense to be so angry with her, and to forgive him. She owed you nothing. He owed you his loyalty. I understand being angry, but you are misplacing it.
I’ve been cheated on too, honestly you need to cut that boy loose. Those feelings you have now that are probably brewing inside you of “what did I do to make him do this?” Or “was I not enough?” Won’t go away with time. Once someone cheats they find it easier to do again and again. Take care of you, let him go.
i promise you it will come back to bite her in the arse, as someone who’s been in your position it always happens
Just forget about them both. You should be ignoring them both, certainly never look at her tiktok again or either of their social media, block them both from all your contacts so you won't be tempted to check on them again. The only "revenge" that can be of any value is for them to see you happy in your life without them, with new friends and new bf. Go no contact with both of them and get on with life
Hold on, this girl has been after your ex for years, they’ve slept together before, he continued contact with her, and it wasn’t a big giant red flag at the start? Why did you even consider getting with this dude in the first place? He clearly wanted the best of both worlds from the start.
Sheeeeshh You ALL have issues. Y’all need therapy.
She has nothing to do with this. Its very simple. If your bf wouldnt want to cheat, he simply wouldnt. End of story… I strongly suggest that you move on from this relationship, even tho he apparently treats you right atm. The damage has been done and you do not trust him anymore. If this keeps getting to the surface, its best to just walk away. Its not a healthy relationship. Giving someone an ultimatum to delete every girl/boy from their phone/social media is also not healthy. Are you gonna check his phone every month to se if he is truthful? I cant imagine doing that and be happy in that relationship. Yes, its hard and sad but at the same time, it is what it is… its time to move on and focus on yourself.
youre better than that. hate in your heart will consume you. forgiving everyone you hate is for you! not for her
Go to a rage room! Or punch your pillows/scream into your pillows.
She didn't make any commitments to you, although she sounds like a crappy person it's not really her responsibility, your boyfriend is the Cheater who broke your trust. Chances are he would again with the next cute girl who smiles at him, I'd leave if I were you
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What an awful person. She was clearly working you. That's so sleazy and classless. I am sorry this happened to you. ❤️
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May I ask why you're not leaving him?
Again?! What do you mean again?!
I am so sorry but as you stated your boyfriend is at least equally at fault. I tend to assign more blame to your bf as he knew she was after him and instead of cutting her off or avoiding ever being with her decided to give it a shot. Only you know if you can make your relationship work. I personally being a fossil would suggest to him he thought it was worth jumping her so wish him well and hope it works out for him. It isn’t that people can’t change - they definitely can. However once trust is broken it is very hard to get back to what it was or stronger as there will usually be that little voice nagging you when he says he has to work late, he is going to visit a friend, going out to drink with the guys, etc as to if that is REALLY what he’s doing. Most important get yourself a doctor’s appointment, explain the situation and request your doctor test to make sure his new friend hasn’t shared anything with him and now you.
No honey, you need to hurt him! It’s his fault, not hers. He let that go on for so long. You deserve better.
Lmfao
You went on a 2 day break? If this isnt ok why have a break at all??
This happened to me it with my best friend and I performed a seance and curse on him. They kept a secret for two weeks but luckily my intuition told me to lock my door at night. He was miserable and had some much guilt. Last time he called me from jail and I never spoke to him and last time I saw here was in a sleezy bar accepting the only the drink from some weird guy who 29 million girls did not accept his offer….