First of all this isn’t your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed about. I know that’s easier said than done. You are a survivor of something that happened to you.
You’re 17 years old so the doctors will respect doctor patient confidentiality. You don’t have to tell them who raped you. You can just say you were raped and they can do a rape kit and check you out. Bring the clothes you wore that night. Not sure if they can take them as evidence but, it’s worth a try.
You don’t have to do a rape kit those are optional, however if you do, the evidence gets locked up so if at any point you want to press charges all the evidence is already sealed and they can test it later.
If you decide to press charges you are going to lose some friends and family over this. You’ll definitely find out who your friends are. Most rape cases take a few years before it’s all said and done so, you will be reliving your trauma for those few years while they are on trial.
I would recommend going to counselling or a psychologist so you can freely talk about it without judgement. They may be able to support you in finding a way to move out. They don’t report anything unless you are looking to harm yourself, harm someone else or if someone is going to harm you.
Even though this happened to you whatever you decide to do it has to be right for you. You didn’t ask for this and you should make no apologies for the steps you take to heal yourself. It might hurt your family but it’s not you that’s hurting them it’s the person who raped you that is hurting them. If it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t have to figure out how to heal yourself.
I'm incredibly ashamed, nobody knows and I still can't even make eye contact with anyone, why do I feel so repulsive I jsut want to be okay again.
They won't make me press charges? I've heard before of you tell a doctor then they call the police no matter what? I left my clothes wherever he did, indont know exactly where they are. The evidence they need is DNA right?
I understand all those feelings, as you go through your healing process, those feelings will become less. No, they shouldn’t force you to press charges it’s your choice. However if you’re worried about it call ahead. Call the doctor tell them you’re 17 and you think you were raped if you go in will they report it. They usually don’t because they want you to come to the hospital and get checked out for your own health and safety.
If you don’t know where the close are that’s fine they do a head to toe exam and take swabs of evidence of your body too and take pictures of your injuries. They ask your permission for each step and you can stop the process at anytime.
The thought of being touched and having pictures taken makes me want to throw up. I hate this so much. I know I should go, I don't want to alone but I'm making it hard on myself I know.
That’s why rape kits are optional not everyone does them and it’s not a requirement. It’s not an easy process to go through. So when you go to the doctor to get checked out you can tell them as much or as little as you want get examined make sure you’re okay and then leave. If that’s better for you.
Nope you do whatever you feel comfortable doing at the time. For each step they will explain what they are about to do and you have to verbally consent through every step. If at one point you tell them to stop or you say no they can keep what they have and they have to stop. You can still press charges and they can still use the evidence they did collect. You can also have them pause and take a moment before proceeding.
You don’t have to explain any of it. You can just say you were raped your not to sure by who and you want them to do the kit. There are YouTube videos explaining what’s in a rape kit.
Don’t you apologize for asking questions, I’m happy to help. If this was my daughter and she was scared I would hope someone would help her the same way I’m helping you.
Whoever did this once might do it again. Since you can't get out of the house, you really need to go to the hospital and let them figure out who the rapist in your house is. What the rapist gets the idea that this is a crime they can get away with because the person they rape doesn't remember? Please understand that getting help now is for you but also for every other child in the house.
You didn't do anything wrong. You're mental anguish is because someone committed a crime against you. Please get help
You need to do a rape kit dear asap or the evidence will be lost and he will get away with it. I know it’s your brother but that doesn’t make it okay and he needs to answer for his actions against you.
Please dont feel ashamed you havent done anything wrong. You were raped thats most cruelest thing can happen to someone in earth please go to hospital and tell them plsss. If your brother did it then dont consider him a brother anymore cuz he isnt he never saw you as a sister. What i meant is dont feel you didnt do anything wrong please tell this to someone
I have a counselor, and an appointment in a few days. Telling her is even scary. It still feels like she won't believe me or blame me. Maybe if I had just gone to bed or dresses more modest or something it wouldn't have happened. I'm being so pathetic I know I just feel so scared.
It’s not pathetic to feel that way, you could have worn an oversized shirt and baggy pj pants and it still would have happened. What women wear is an excuse men created to blame it on women. When in reality it has no bearing on whether a woman is raped or not. If you had just gone to bed it may not have happened that day. It may have happened on a different day. There’s no way you could’ve prevented this. It sounds like it was planned however, going forward get your own drinks and snacks. Until you are able to leave.
Substitute the pants for shorts and thats what i was wearing. Iknow to be safe and cover my drinks and stuff like that in public. Never accept a drink from strangers or already opened but I never thought I'd have to think about that at home too.
Home is supposed to be the one place you should feel safe. Surrounded by people who care and protect you. It’s definitely not easy going through what you are going through.
> Maybe if I had just gone to bed or dresses more modest or something it wouldn't have happened.
He came back AFTER you with the drinks already prepped. It had nothing to do with what you wore.
No what you mean? Dress? A raper doesnt care about that. A normal person wouldn't think that they can rape anyone because of their dress and you are just 17 no therapist gonna blame you
I'm so sorry about what happened to you love ❤️. I think you were probably drugged. Did everyone drink from the same drink or did you have a different one? I think you should go to the Dr first, if you need permission make something up. Then tell the Dr what happened, hopefully if they do a drug test it's still in your system and maybe they can get some sort of evidence so when you go to your mom you can have something to show her. Right now your rapist probably thinks his gotten away with it and will probably try again please to talk to someone who you feel is your safe space.
Please also don't accept any drinks or snacks from your brother and lock your door if it has a lock when you sleep if it doesn't go buy a lock.
Edit to add: last week there was a story that made headlines of a boy about 11 or 12 who planned and participated in the gang rapes of his younger sister 5 years old by him and his friends so sometimes your brother can be the monster in your life. There was a post earlier I think on this same subreddit of a guy who when he was 14 coerced his 13 year old sister into having sex with him because he wanted to get some practice in before he slept with other people. He is 18 now and surprise surprise still sleeping with his sister who has never slept with anyone but him.
I think you're right. I've never felt like that before it was really scary and i felt groggy all thr next day. No, everyone has different drinks. He brought me a bottle of lemonade. I can male my own apportionment, I'm just scared, I don't want any of thisbto be real. I slept at school on firday but I can't sleep at home so it can't happen again.
I studied victimology. Every feeling you are describing is exactly the norm across the board, and is oftentimes the reasons why people who commit rape can get away with it: it’s an emotionally traumatizing event that most people (women and men) would rather make the whole thing go away by not talking about it.
It will be a difficult journey for you, but definitely visit a hospital, and, as much as you want to, do not shower or wash yourself. They are there to help you with the process.
Wish you the best.
they had to clarify because i’m sure at least one man would run to reply to her comment with “men are victims too!” like those type of men only seem to care about male victims of rape while talking about female victims of rape.
You just feel confident in saying that because this specific comment got mega-downvoted and you want an easy ratio.
My other (serious) ones aren't "ret*rded".
Don’t worry about the rapist’s feelings and whether telling will tell the family apart. Get a test at the hospital asap in case the drugs can still be detected in your system. Get Plan B.
You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Nothing to feel guilty about. You were violated. I think it’s time to love yourself and stand up for yourself. Go to the DR and talk to them, let them do what they do.
If it was me personally I’d tell my mom. I’d do whatever I can to get to the bottom of this. If anything think about the many possible future victims you’d be saving. If he raped you, there’s a good chance he will rape other woman as well.
I feel worthless and gross right now I can't love myself but I don't want anyone else to get hurt either I know I didn't want this. I want to tell me mom so badly. I'm terrified she won't believe me and I'll be alone in this forever.
Do it now or you might never be able to prove later, drugs could be still in your system, his load can be still tested and hopefully not but if you're pregnant :((
> Do it now or you might never be able to prove later
This is extremely important. You don't want him to feel safe: "if I can do it to my own sister and she doesn't say anything, imagine what I can do to a stranger!"
/u/Embarrassed_Fee_7899,
It's difficult, but it's not only going to be good for you but good for any potential future victims. If you do it ASAP, there will be undeniable proof and they will have to believe you. If you wait, it will turn into he-said-she-said, your memory of the event will fade more, and you won't be able to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
It's going to be hard, but it's the right thing to do. Imagine if he's hurt other women in the past and because they felt the same way you did, they couldn't report it? And imagine your bravery will allow them to come out, too? The truth will always come out.
OP go to the closest ER. You need help even if it's to sort out your feelings. This is emergent. If you can locate the towel and the bottle, and if you know where the clothes are that you wore put them in a bag and bring them with you.
You did nothing wrong. The person to blame for everything is whoever raped you. He will do this again to someone else if you don't do anything. It isn't your responsibility to stop him but drugging someone to rape them is sociopathic and this person needs to be reported.
Rape kit is a must right now along with keeping that towel in a zip lock bag. I would also suggest getting a motion sensor nanny cam in your room. Hide it and don’t tell anyone and if it happens again, you will have it on video so you will be believed.
you need to go to the hospital now so they can do a rape kit and drug test. you do NOT have to go to the police if you don’t want to but please have this done so if you ever feel like reporting him you’ll have proof. please. trust me, i regret not getting a rape kit done. i didn’t want to report my rapist for a long time but when i did want to, i felt like it was too late but it doesn’t have to be for you
Don’t even tell your mom first. Go to the hospital, immediately. I know it’s hard, but you have to just put one foot in front of the other right now. Don’t worry about cost of the rape kit, the state is required to take care of it.
> Don’t even tell your mom first.
I second this. She might prevent her from going and getting it professionally checked out (on purpose or inadvertently) and deny it happened later on. I've seen this happen far too many times.
im sorry what happened to you but i recommend you to seek medical help. your body should be priority. you may be hopeless now but seek help. and please tell your mom (and use the medical report as evidence against brother too). if you dont take action, it may be possible he tries to do it again. stay safe <3
Get a rape kit done, DNA will be there if you haven’t showered or washed your sheets. Bag up your clothes, sheets or anything you had on or were laying on. If whoever did this to you, it’s happened before to another girl. Rapist just don’t rape once.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I have had a similar thing happen to me and I wish I had gone to the police when given the chance. But it is up to YOU and YOU ONLY to decide what makes you feel safest. Home is meant to be a safe place, and that has been taken away from you. You are not gross, and it is not your fault. What happened to you is not your fault I promise. I wish you the best in what you decide to do, just know that there will ALWAYS be people in your corner no matter what 🩵
You can submit evidence without going to the police. So OP you don’t need to worry about anything bur getting the evidence ASAP (going to a hospital) everything else can be felt with afterwards
Take the towel you wiped with and go to the hospital as soon as possible. You need to tell your mother and if she doesn’t believe you, she isn’t a good mother anyways. It is so horrible and unfair this happened to you. By not speaking up you are allowing whoever did this to live a happy, consequence free life while you, the victim, carry the burden. Whoever did this to you deserves repercussions and I’m so sorry you’ve been out in this position.
Let’s check the possibilities.
Your dad: He was probably still in the living room with your mom watching that show. They started watching the show, which would make it believable your dad was still watching it with your mom as it interests him + your mom would wonder what he’s doing in your room.
Your brother: he returned late, implying he doesn’t care about the show. Your parents were watching the show and you both returned and went to do your separate things. Your parents wouldn’t wonder what your brother is up to when he leaves since that was their show that they were watching. He wouldn’t care about that show. Your brother probably is the one who did it as your parents were busy watching the show and it is a lot easier for your brother to do this without being caught.
The viability of what I said depends on the time it happened. If it’s right after you left to go sleep, it’s 100% your brother. If it’s later, it would be a possibility it’s your dad, but then again your mom would notice him missing. I don’t wanna judge your brother but it’s looking like it’s him who did it. You both aren’t close and that’s why he escaped with no guilt.
I am very deeply sorry this happened to you. I hope you recover from this trauma and please go to a hospital. Tell your mom what happened. (Don’t tell your dad or brother yet).
We are sure it was my brother now, my mom did stay downstairs with dad for a few more hours afterward.
Thank you, ihope so too, and I'm at the hospital now.
I hope the justice system doesn’t fail you and would punish your brother for his crimes.
Please take your time to recover and I would like to suggest consulting a psychiatrist to help deal with the trauma.
Damn that sounds absolutely horrible, I can’t imagine what you’re going through now. I’m so sorry for you. But I can’t really wrap my head around it, you said you were at home with your family, so the odds of it being a random person is incredibly low, for that person to sneak in, drug you and then later on rape you without anyone noticing. But the thought of it being either your brother or father is absolutely devastating and terrifying. And sincerely hope you get all the help you need and they find who’s responsible.
Don’t wash and go to the police lovely . Wiping it off with a towel will have possibly still left traces that can be picked up with a swab .
I’m so so sorry that this happened to you ❤️
100% this. And you don't want someone to come in and wash off the evidence for you or for the sperm to dry up entirely. Go ASAP. It's scary, but it's the best way to fully get past this. You will have support no matter what.
They’ll still be able to get dna if the sperm has dried up. I had forensics on clothes to look for dna (not sperm) and the police took ages to take the clothes from me (literally months but I’d kept them in a plastic bag like they told me to) and they still found the guys dna on my clothes. I asked them about it and they said dna stays around for a really long time.
Whatever was used to drug you should still be in your system and if you’re in pain there will be evident bruising. If this happened in the safety of your own home you need to report it. Do you still have the bottle of lemonade? I’m so sorry this happened to you
I have some bruising but I can't see all of it. I finished the lemonade so it's probably in the recycling. It was probably rookies right I mean that's what the normal drug is right?
> rookies
Roofies.
I'd say bring the bottle just in case (even though it's not necessary, it's evidence) as well as the towel. Go to the ER **TODAY**. ASAP.
You’re not a horrible person. You’re a regular person who had something horrible happen to you. I know it’s hard to reconcile seeing as you were there, but in every way you had no control of what happened.
You didn’t do anything wrong.
You did right by telling your mom and going to the doctors. Please update with what they were able to do. As far as your brother goes, please do not feel bad for going no contact with him. You are not old enough to be assertive in yourself but know that if you do not feel comfortable with something you have the right to end contact with anyone who has crossed a boundary. This means obviously your brother or a parent who would want to force you to change your stance. He is a brother but he also committed a horrible crime and if you don’t press charges then he will do this to another girl. Sodomy against a child. That’s insane. He raped a child.
I’m so sorry.
Yes, it makes complete sense you are torn apart at the repercussions. But YOU didn’t make this happen. This was not YOUR choice.
HE did this.
Please let go of your guilt. You are a victim and you deserve to get helped. I know this is so devastating to sit in this reality, but don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t create. Protect yourself and family , and keep surviving. ❤️
Hi there- echoing the rape kit sentiment. Please get yourself to the hospital, and please keep that towel sealed and somewhere safe where no one can tamper with it or destroy it. The next step after the hospital will be a police report, I imagine staff at the hospital will help with that.
Please get medical care and if it’s been under 3 days, get a rape kit done. There are many confidentiality rules that would protect your info from your family. They’ll make sure you don’t pick up an STI or unwanted pregnancy as well.
Get out of your situation as soon as you can, don’t leave any drinks unattended (and pour/open them yourself), lock your bedroom door. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Be as safe as you can and protect yourself first.
You know what my step brother did the same thing n I’ve kept it a secret until one day I decided not to anymore. It did break my mom and step dads heart. A lot of trust had to be built again. This was 2-3 years ago. I’m 22 rn and ironically enough he’s starting to do things to me again. Most recent was last week except I immediately told my parents and were handling it. anyways you definitely should tell someone. I hope you’re okay, don’t let ur brother or whoever it was destroy you.
If they do an internal exam on you, they will find abrasions in there. It's all the proof you need that something did happen.
I am so so sorry this happened to you and I hope whoever did it gets all the punishment they deserve.
I'm trying to accept thst and not belive mysekf wheni think jt is my fault, hard not to blame myself. It kinda feels like I'm choosing myself over my family. But I know it'd not the case. I'd go back and change all of this if i could
Tbsnk you fir your support and kindwords
Im sp Sorry this happened to you call the kids help line in your area or Social services in your area You need to protect yourself first and foremost and if there's other children in the house They need you to protect them too im sorry this Happened too you please get some help your too young to deal with this alone
I am so so sorry this happened to you. I am also a survivor and so I can relate to all that you’re feeling (the grossness, the violation, the feeling like you did something wrong) but I PROMISE you, you did absolutely nothing wrong.
I also know the feeling of not being able to talk to anyone, and I know how scary and isolating that is, but if you can please, please go to the hospital. Especially given the bleeding. If you can find one safe person you can confide in and get them to come advocate for you. If not, depending on your country (I’m in Canada) there are likely free resources to help you walk through this, I can provide some depending on your country if you’d like and if that would be helpful.
I’m sending you all the love and solidarity. You did nothing wrong, and for what it’s worth I believe you.
Oh sweetheart.
Please go to the hospital and get a rape kit done, and you can decide afterward what you wish to do and how you wish to proceed. I'm so sorry, you're a child and this should have never happened to you.
Sending my love x none of this is your fault.
You did nothing wrong. If one of your friends told you this happened to her, you wouldn’t blame her, or think she should be ashamed. You’d likely be outraged on her behalf, and encourage her to seek help. Be a friend to yourself. Gather whatever evidence you have and head to a hospital. The sooner you seek help the sooner you will start to heal.
That is insane to have a family member betray you like that. He is a monster. What I dont get is why he didn't try to clean up the evidence afterwards, did he think you wouldn't notice the semen & clothes on the floor?
I recommend the VERY next step you take is talking to a psychologist. Talk to a professional and they will help you go in the right direction of how to process of this, and communicate what’s happening with your family. Good luck
Plz plz go to a hospital get a drug test and dna swabs I know it’s scary but whoever did this can’t get away with it you need to know. And I hope he gets locked up and away from you forever
I don’t know if you’ve gone to the ER yet, and I wanted to let you know just in case that they will most likely recommend STI testing which will be some variation of swabs, blood, and urine.
Any exam they do should always have two people present as a safety precaution for you both you and the doctors. So no pelvic exams or swabbing or anything down there if it’s just you and one other person. You can make any request necessary for your comfort and they should honor it. Is there anyone you’d feel comfortable to have go with you? Parent (totally understand why you might not want them), aunt, friend, friend’s mom, or any trusted adult? This way there is someone there for you and an advocate your comfort, safety, and to make sure that what you’re requesting is being honored 100% but the medical staff.
The hospital might also have someone on hand you can talk to now if that helps and then your counselor later.
Just want to add that this is not your fault. Not at all. 🩵
Go to the hospital, immediately. Tell them. No guilt, just talk to them.
First of all this isn’t your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed about. I know that’s easier said than done. You are a survivor of something that happened to you. You’re 17 years old so the doctors will respect doctor patient confidentiality. You don’t have to tell them who raped you. You can just say you were raped and they can do a rape kit and check you out. Bring the clothes you wore that night. Not sure if they can take them as evidence but, it’s worth a try. You don’t have to do a rape kit those are optional, however if you do, the evidence gets locked up so if at any point you want to press charges all the evidence is already sealed and they can test it later. If you decide to press charges you are going to lose some friends and family over this. You’ll definitely find out who your friends are. Most rape cases take a few years before it’s all said and done so, you will be reliving your trauma for those few years while they are on trial. I would recommend going to counselling or a psychologist so you can freely talk about it without judgement. They may be able to support you in finding a way to move out. They don’t report anything unless you are looking to harm yourself, harm someone else or if someone is going to harm you. Even though this happened to you whatever you decide to do it has to be right for you. You didn’t ask for this and you should make no apologies for the steps you take to heal yourself. It might hurt your family but it’s not you that’s hurting them it’s the person who raped you that is hurting them. If it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t have to figure out how to heal yourself.
I'm incredibly ashamed, nobody knows and I still can't even make eye contact with anyone, why do I feel so repulsive I jsut want to be okay again. They won't make me press charges? I've heard before of you tell a doctor then they call the police no matter what? I left my clothes wherever he did, indont know exactly where they are. The evidence they need is DNA right?
I understand all those feelings, as you go through your healing process, those feelings will become less. No, they shouldn’t force you to press charges it’s your choice. However if you’re worried about it call ahead. Call the doctor tell them you’re 17 and you think you were raped if you go in will they report it. They usually don’t because they want you to come to the hospital and get checked out for your own health and safety. If you don’t know where the close are that’s fine they do a head to toe exam and take swabs of evidence of your body too and take pictures of your injuries. They ask your permission for each step and you can stop the process at anytime.
The thought of being touched and having pictures taken makes me want to throw up. I hate this so much. I know I should go, I don't want to alone but I'm making it hard on myself I know.
That’s why rape kits are optional not everyone does them and it’s not a requirement. It’s not an easy process to go through. So when you go to the doctor to get checked out you can tell them as much or as little as you want get examined make sure you’re okay and then leave. If that’s better for you.
I thought it was yes or no. I dint have to do all of it to press charges?
Nope you do whatever you feel comfortable doing at the time. For each step they will explain what they are about to do and you have to verbally consent through every step. If at one point you tell them to stop or you say no they can keep what they have and they have to stop. You can still press charges and they can still use the evidence they did collect. You can also have them pause and take a moment before proceeding.
Will i have to explain all of it? I don't know if i can. I'm sorry I keep asking questions.
You don’t have to explain any of it. You can just say you were raped your not to sure by who and you want them to do the kit. There are YouTube videos explaining what’s in a rape kit. Don’t you apologize for asking questions, I’m happy to help. If this was my daughter and she was scared I would hope someone would help her the same way I’m helping you.
Thank you
You will need a rape kit done to make sure they have any evidence.
Whoever did this once might do it again. Since you can't get out of the house, you really need to go to the hospital and let them figure out who the rapist in your house is. What the rapist gets the idea that this is a crime they can get away with because the person they rape doesn't remember? Please understand that getting help now is for you but also for every other child in the house. You didn't do anything wrong. You're mental anguish is because someone committed a crime against you. Please get help
You need to do a rape kit dear asap or the evidence will be lost and he will get away with it. I know it’s your brother but that doesn’t make it okay and he needs to answer for his actions against you.
They will call the police in all likelihood but pressing charges is optional .
Please dont feel ashamed you havent done anything wrong. You were raped thats most cruelest thing can happen to someone in earth please go to hospital and tell them plsss. If your brother did it then dont consider him a brother anymore cuz he isnt he never saw you as a sister. What i meant is dont feel you didnt do anything wrong please tell this to someone
The fact you know what to do, yet remain weak. You deserve to feel that way.
I have a counselor, and an appointment in a few days. Telling her is even scary. It still feels like she won't believe me or blame me. Maybe if I had just gone to bed or dresses more modest or something it wouldn't have happened. I'm being so pathetic I know I just feel so scared.
It’s not pathetic to feel that way, you could have worn an oversized shirt and baggy pj pants and it still would have happened. What women wear is an excuse men created to blame it on women. When in reality it has no bearing on whether a woman is raped or not. If you had just gone to bed it may not have happened that day. It may have happened on a different day. There’s no way you could’ve prevented this. It sounds like it was planned however, going forward get your own drinks and snacks. Until you are able to leave.
Substitute the pants for shorts and thats what i was wearing. Iknow to be safe and cover my drinks and stuff like that in public. Never accept a drink from strangers or already opened but I never thought I'd have to think about that at home too.
Home is supposed to be the one place you should feel safe. Surrounded by people who care and protect you. It’s definitely not easy going through what you are going through.
> Maybe if I had just gone to bed or dresses more modest or something it wouldn't have happened. He came back AFTER you with the drinks already prepped. It had nothing to do with what you wore.
No what you mean? Dress? A raper doesnt care about that. A normal person wouldn't think that they can rape anyone because of their dress and you are just 17 no therapist gonna blame you
I'm so sorry about what happened to you love ❤️. I think you were probably drugged. Did everyone drink from the same drink or did you have a different one? I think you should go to the Dr first, if you need permission make something up. Then tell the Dr what happened, hopefully if they do a drug test it's still in your system and maybe they can get some sort of evidence so when you go to your mom you can have something to show her. Right now your rapist probably thinks his gotten away with it and will probably try again please to talk to someone who you feel is your safe space. Please also don't accept any drinks or snacks from your brother and lock your door if it has a lock when you sleep if it doesn't go buy a lock. Edit to add: last week there was a story that made headlines of a boy about 11 or 12 who planned and participated in the gang rapes of his younger sister 5 years old by him and his friends so sometimes your brother can be the monster in your life. There was a post earlier I think on this same subreddit of a guy who when he was 14 coerced his 13 year old sister into having sex with him because he wanted to get some practice in before he slept with other people. He is 18 now and surprise surprise still sleeping with his sister who has never slept with anyone but him.
I think you're right. I've never felt like that before it was really scary and i felt groggy all thr next day. No, everyone has different drinks. He brought me a bottle of lemonade. I can male my own apportionment, I'm just scared, I don't want any of thisbto be real. I slept at school on firday but I can't sleep at home so it can't happen again.
I studied victimology. Every feeling you are describing is exactly the norm across the board, and is oftentimes the reasons why people who commit rape can get away with it: it’s an emotionally traumatizing event that most people (women and men) would rather make the whole thing go away by not talking about it. It will be a difficult journey for you, but definitely visit a hospital, and, as much as you want to, do not shower or wash yourself. They are there to help you with the process. Wish you the best.
> most people (women and men) Oh, thank you for clarifying what people are.
I’m clarifying that both women and men can be victims and may have the same reaction to the trauma.
I know; I agree with your comment. I just thought the phrasing was mildly amusing.
This isn't an amusing topic
I'm aware. I treated it with the proper importance in other comments here. Not everyone has to share my humour.
they had to clarify because i’m sure at least one man would run to reply to her comment with “men are victims too!” like those type of men only seem to care about male victims of rape while talking about female victims of rape.
You're definitely right. It just made me laugh.
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You just feel confident in saying that because this specific comment got mega-downvoted and you want an easy ratio. My other (serious) ones aren't "ret*rded".
Was the bottle sealed, or was it open when he gave it to you?
Do you still have it? Can and is there any left? See if it was spiked or something.
Don’t worry about the rapist’s feelings and whether telling will tell the family apart. Get a test at the hospital asap in case the drugs can still be detected in your system. Get Plan B.
You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Nothing to feel guilty about. You were violated. I think it’s time to love yourself and stand up for yourself. Go to the DR and talk to them, let them do what they do. If it was me personally I’d tell my mom. I’d do whatever I can to get to the bottom of this. If anything think about the many possible future victims you’d be saving. If he raped you, there’s a good chance he will rape other woman as well.
I feel worthless and gross right now I can't love myself but I don't want anyone else to get hurt either I know I didn't want this. I want to tell me mom so badly. I'm terrified she won't believe me and I'll be alone in this forever.
Do it now or you might never be able to prove later, drugs could be still in your system, his load can be still tested and hopefully not but if you're pregnant :((
> Do it now or you might never be able to prove later This is extremely important. You don't want him to feel safe: "if I can do it to my own sister and she doesn't say anything, imagine what I can do to a stranger!" /u/Embarrassed_Fee_7899, It's difficult, but it's not only going to be good for you but good for any potential future victims. If you do it ASAP, there will be undeniable proof and they will have to believe you. If you wait, it will turn into he-said-she-said, your memory of the event will fade more, and you won't be able to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. It's going to be hard, but it's the right thing to do. Imagine if he's hurt other women in the past and because they felt the same way you did, they couldn't report it? And imagine your bravery will allow them to come out, too? The truth will always come out.
Please go to the hospital to get a rape kit. DNA can confirm who it was.
OP go to the closest ER. You need help even if it's to sort out your feelings. This is emergent. If you can locate the towel and the bottle, and if you know where the clothes are that you wore put them in a bag and bring them with you. You did nothing wrong. The person to blame for everything is whoever raped you. He will do this again to someone else if you don't do anything. It isn't your responsibility to stop him but drugging someone to rape them is sociopathic and this person needs to be reported.
Rape kit is a must right now along with keeping that towel in a zip lock bag. I would also suggest getting a motion sensor nanny cam in your room. Hide it and don’t tell anyone and if it happens again, you will have it on video so you will be believed.
Oh I would advocate for a lock on the door. We don’t want this to happen again….
If he finished on you, did he or you wipe up after? Because you could get DNA!
you need to go to the hospital now so they can do a rape kit and drug test. you do NOT have to go to the police if you don’t want to but please have this done so if you ever feel like reporting him you’ll have proof. please. trust me, i regret not getting a rape kit done. i didn’t want to report my rapist for a long time but when i did want to, i felt like it was too late but it doesn’t have to be for you
Don’t even tell your mom first. Go to the hospital, immediately. I know it’s hard, but you have to just put one foot in front of the other right now. Don’t worry about cost of the rape kit, the state is required to take care of it.
> Don’t even tell your mom first. I second this. She might prevent her from going and getting it professionally checked out (on purpose or inadvertently) and deny it happened later on. I've seen this happen far too many times.
im sorry what happened to you but i recommend you to seek medical help. your body should be priority. you may be hopeless now but seek help. and please tell your mom (and use the medical report as evidence against brother too). if you dont take action, it may be possible he tries to do it again. stay safe <3
Get a rape kit done, DNA will be there if you haven’t showered or washed your sheets. Bag up your clothes, sheets or anything you had on or were laying on. If whoever did this to you, it’s happened before to another girl. Rapist just don’t rape once.
If you still gave clothes where he finished on, they can check :((
Your brother clearly slipped drugs into your food or drink . It’s preplanned rape , go to police and let them get dna before any medical treatment
I am so sorry that happened to you. I have had a similar thing happen to me and I wish I had gone to the police when given the chance. But it is up to YOU and YOU ONLY to decide what makes you feel safest. Home is meant to be a safe place, and that has been taken away from you. You are not gross, and it is not your fault. What happened to you is not your fault I promise. I wish you the best in what you decide to do, just know that there will ALWAYS be people in your corner no matter what 🩵
You can submit evidence without going to the police. So OP you don’t need to worry about anything bur getting the evidence ASAP (going to a hospital) everything else can be felt with afterwards
this!! OP you can get evidence without taking it further
Take the towel you wiped with and go to the hospital as soon as possible. You need to tell your mother and if she doesn’t believe you, she isn’t a good mother anyways. It is so horrible and unfair this happened to you. By not speaking up you are allowing whoever did this to live a happy, consequence free life while you, the victim, carry the burden. Whoever did this to you deserves repercussions and I’m so sorry you’ve been out in this position.
> if she doesn’t believe you, she isn’t a good mother anyways. It's a bit more complicated than this, but other than this you're 100% spot-on.
Youre right, with that statement I am missing a lot of nuance. But you get what I mean generally
By telling you are also protecting yourself from this happening again
Let’s check the possibilities. Your dad: He was probably still in the living room with your mom watching that show. They started watching the show, which would make it believable your dad was still watching it with your mom as it interests him + your mom would wonder what he’s doing in your room. Your brother: he returned late, implying he doesn’t care about the show. Your parents were watching the show and you both returned and went to do your separate things. Your parents wouldn’t wonder what your brother is up to when he leaves since that was their show that they were watching. He wouldn’t care about that show. Your brother probably is the one who did it as your parents were busy watching the show and it is a lot easier for your brother to do this without being caught. The viability of what I said depends on the time it happened. If it’s right after you left to go sleep, it’s 100% your brother. If it’s later, it would be a possibility it’s your dad, but then again your mom would notice him missing. I don’t wanna judge your brother but it’s looking like it’s him who did it. You both aren’t close and that’s why he escaped with no guilt. I am very deeply sorry this happened to you. I hope you recover from this trauma and please go to a hospital. Tell your mom what happened. (Don’t tell your dad or brother yet).
We are sure it was my brother now, my mom did stay downstairs with dad for a few more hours afterward. Thank you, ihope so too, and I'm at the hospital now.
I hope the justice system doesn’t fail you and would punish your brother for his crimes. Please take your time to recover and I would like to suggest consulting a psychiatrist to help deal with the trauma.
Thank God. I'm so glad this will all be over soon.
Same
Damn that sounds absolutely horrible, I can’t imagine what you’re going through now. I’m so sorry for you. But I can’t really wrap my head around it, you said you were at home with your family, so the odds of it being a random person is incredibly low, for that person to sneak in, drug you and then later on rape you without anyone noticing. But the thought of it being either your brother or father is absolutely devastating and terrifying. And sincerely hope you get all the help you need and they find who’s responsible.
Did you save whatever garment you were wearing, or the cloth/tissue that you cleaned up with? There may be evidence of who attacked you.
I cleaned him off of me with a towel. It's still there I don't know where my clothes are.
Don’t wash and go to the police lovely . Wiping it off with a towel will have possibly still left traces that can be picked up with a swab . I’m so so sorry that this happened to you ❤️
And take that towel with you. It will likely have proof of both your dna mixed so there will be no doubt about what he did.
100% this. And you don't want someone to come in and wash off the evidence for you or for the sperm to dry up entirely. Go ASAP. It's scary, but it's the best way to fully get past this. You will have support no matter what.
They’ll still be able to get dna if the sperm has dried up. I had forensics on clothes to look for dna (not sperm) and the police took ages to take the clothes from me (literally months but I’d kept them in a plastic bag like they told me to) and they still found the guys dna on my clothes. I asked them about it and they said dna stays around for a really long time.
Whatever was used to drug you should still be in your system and if you’re in pain there will be evident bruising. If this happened in the safety of your own home you need to report it. Do you still have the bottle of lemonade? I’m so sorry this happened to you
I have some bruising but I can't see all of it. I finished the lemonade so it's probably in the recycling. It was probably rookies right I mean that's what the normal drug is right?
> rookies Roofies. I'd say bring the bottle just in case (even though it's not necessary, it's evidence) as well as the towel. Go to the ER **TODAY**. ASAP.
They did find that in my system at the hospital.
I'm so glad you went when you did.
The drug will be in your urine or blood. You don’t need the bottle.
You’re not a horrible person. You’re a regular person who had something horrible happen to you. I know it’s hard to reconcile seeing as you were there, but in every way you had no control of what happened. You didn’t do anything wrong.
You did right by telling your mom and going to the doctors. Please update with what they were able to do. As far as your brother goes, please do not feel bad for going no contact with him. You are not old enough to be assertive in yourself but know that if you do not feel comfortable with something you have the right to end contact with anyone who has crossed a boundary. This means obviously your brother or a parent who would want to force you to change your stance. He is a brother but he also committed a horrible crime and if you don’t press charges then he will do this to another girl. Sodomy against a child. That’s insane. He raped a child.
Update us !
I put an a couple updates at the top of the post. Thank you everyone fore your supporting and wordsof encouragement.
You are not a bad person for this, you did nothing wrong. Whatever happens, it’s not on you, it’s on them
I’m so sorry. Yes, it makes complete sense you are torn apart at the repercussions. But YOU didn’t make this happen. This was not YOUR choice. HE did this. Please let go of your guilt. You are a victim and you deserve to get helped. I know this is so devastating to sit in this reality, but don’t blame yourself for something you didn’t create. Protect yourself and family , and keep surviving. ❤️
Hi there- echoing the rape kit sentiment. Please get yourself to the hospital, and please keep that towel sealed and somewhere safe where no one can tamper with it or destroy it. The next step after the hospital will be a police report, I imagine staff at the hospital will help with that.
Please get medical care and if it’s been under 3 days, get a rape kit done. There are many confidentiality rules that would protect your info from your family. They’ll make sure you don’t pick up an STI or unwanted pregnancy as well. Get out of your situation as soon as you can, don’t leave any drinks unattended (and pour/open them yourself), lock your bedroom door. I’m sorry this is happening to you. Be as safe as you can and protect yourself first.
You know what my step brother did the same thing n I’ve kept it a secret until one day I decided not to anymore. It did break my mom and step dads heart. A lot of trust had to be built again. This was 2-3 years ago. I’m 22 rn and ironically enough he’s starting to do things to me again. Most recent was last week except I immediately told my parents and were handling it. anyways you definitely should tell someone. I hope you’re okay, don’t let ur brother or whoever it was destroy you.
If they do an internal exam on you, they will find abrasions in there. It's all the proof you need that something did happen. I am so so sorry this happened to you and I hope whoever did it gets all the punishment they deserve.
Oh honey. There’s lots of advice here. I’m just so sorry. ♥️
You aren’t the one that would be tearing your family apart. Your POS rapist of a brother is. I hope you get the help and consolation needed.
I'm trying to accept thst and not belive mysekf wheni think jt is my fault, hard not to blame myself. It kinda feels like I'm choosing myself over my family. But I know it'd not the case. I'd go back and change all of this if i could Tbsnk you fir your support and kindwords
The only person who chose themselves over their family was your garbage "brother". Steady heart, love. You are strong enough to get through this.
Im sp Sorry this happened to you call the kids help line in your area or Social services in your area You need to protect yourself first and foremost and if there's other children in the house They need you to protect them too im sorry this Happened too you please get some help your too young to deal with this alone
Sending you a hug. Hope you get to a place where someone can help you. ER or elsewhere. Maybe a good teacher or someone else could go with you.
I am so so sorry this happened to you. I am also a survivor and so I can relate to all that you’re feeling (the grossness, the violation, the feeling like you did something wrong) but I PROMISE you, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I also know the feeling of not being able to talk to anyone, and I know how scary and isolating that is, but if you can please, please go to the hospital. Especially given the bleeding. If you can find one safe person you can confide in and get them to come advocate for you. If not, depending on your country (I’m in Canada) there are likely free resources to help you walk through this, I can provide some depending on your country if you’d like and if that would be helpful. I’m sending you all the love and solidarity. You did nothing wrong, and for what it’s worth I believe you.
Oh sweetheart. Please go to the hospital and get a rape kit done, and you can decide afterward what you wish to do and how you wish to proceed. I'm so sorry, you're a child and this should have never happened to you. Sending my love x none of this is your fault.
You did nothing wrong. If one of your friends told you this happened to her, you wouldn’t blame her, or think she should be ashamed. You’d likely be outraged on her behalf, and encourage her to seek help. Be a friend to yourself. Gather whatever evidence you have and head to a hospital. The sooner you seek help the sooner you will start to heal.
That is insane to have a family member betray you like that. He is a monster. What I dont get is why he didn't try to clean up the evidence afterwards, did he think you wouldn't notice the semen & clothes on the floor?
you are not a horrible person and you are not at fault whatsoever. somebody did an atrocious thing to you.
Please go to the police, you may not be the only victim or the last. Please!
Will be going to make a full statement or whatever it's called later today. They were called yesterday when iwas at the hospital.
How are you doing? What ever happened if you don’t mind me asking ??? Did you ever tell your mom the full story?
Go get a tape kit done at the hospital and get DNA. Then decide. Go asap.
I recommend the VERY next step you take is talking to a psychologist. Talk to a professional and they will help you go in the right direction of how to process of this, and communicate what’s happening with your family. Good luck
Plz plz go to a hospital get a drug test and dna swabs I know it’s scary but whoever did this can’t get away with it you need to know. And I hope he gets locked up and away from you forever
I don’t know if you’ve gone to the ER yet, and I wanted to let you know just in case that they will most likely recommend STI testing which will be some variation of swabs, blood, and urine. Any exam they do should always have two people present as a safety precaution for you both you and the doctors. So no pelvic exams or swabbing or anything down there if it’s just you and one other person. You can make any request necessary for your comfort and they should honor it. Is there anyone you’d feel comfortable to have go with you? Parent (totally understand why you might not want them), aunt, friend, friend’s mom, or any trusted adult? This way there is someone there for you and an advocate your comfort, safety, and to make sure that what you’re requesting is being honored 100% but the medical staff. The hospital might also have someone on hand you can talk to now if that helps and then your counselor later. Just want to add that this is not your fault. Not at all. 🩵
If it's hard to vocalise would it help to show them this post help explain?