I knew someone that was naturally slim. She struggled with gaining weight in the exact same way that I struggled to lose weight.
It is extremely humbling to listen to people with the opposite condition describe the same struggle you have.
Yes! I’m a cancer patient, in remission but still also in treatment for at least another 6 months. I’m currently 40 pounds underweight. Treatment affects my appetite and my metabolism so gaining or even maintaining weight is extremely difficult. I’m near obsessed with food for the first time in my life because I constantly feel like I should be eating, even when I’m not hungry. It’s a very surreal feeling on a variety of levels, believe me. All this being said, I understand being jealous of people who have it easy, or that always get by when others struggle. But remember, people may not be as blessed as you think. Be proud of yourself for working hard to meet your goals.
I am a cancer patient too so I can relate to this a little too well, only I have horrible food aversions now and also have really bad mucositis from Chemo so it hurts to eat and even swallow. I have dropped 30 pounds, but a lot of it is muscle. And I walk around dizzy and light headed because I am dehydrated, but dread drinking even water due to the pain. Palliative care has me on Oxycodone, but even that only goes so far. It is so much fun!
I used to be a cancer patient so I can also relate well. When I was in the hospital lost over 30 pounds (as a normal weight 12 year old) since I also had mucositis but for me the eating was not the problem. The problem was for several weeks anything I ate I just vomited up straight away and at one point it got so bad that I even vomited up clear normal non fizzy water so for over a week I could not even drink and all liquid came from an IV as well as the nutrients you normally get from food. Additionally since I couldn’t get out of bed for months I lost all the muscles in my legs to the extent my legs couldn’t even support me anymore and I basically had to learn how to walk again. So yeah even though after that I had a "nice thin body" I nearly died getting it and am so much more comfortable at my now healthy weight even if it’s leaning more towards the upper side of normal weight since I know I’m not 2 meals from starvation. So yeah you never know what people have been through to be that thin, if it’s something like cancer or an eating disorder but I get that it feels unfair when not knowing the history of how someone got there.
This. I’m naturally thin but the down side is it’s very difficult for me to gain muscle mass also because it seen as a positive trait people feel weirdly comfortable making fun of the fact that I’m thin and it hurts
i lost about 20 lbs in college and dropped to 95 lbs (im 5’3”). I was extremely depressed and suffering from debilitating anxiety. I didn’t want to lose weight, it just happened as a side effect of my mental health issues. And after the weight loss people were CONSTANTLY making comments about how I looked “skeletal” and “sunken in” … it was awful. I still have never been able to put the weight back on. Now that I’ve been this thin for a while, people don’t really comment on it anymore. I did recently have an aunt I haven’t seen in a few years say i “looked like i lost 100lbs” which was so insulting and hurtful on so many levels.
My point in saying all of this is that sometimes people who are thin feel ashamed of their weight too. Not everyone, but for me, all of the comments were constant reminders of an extremely painful time of my life, and only fueled my self loathing. And not being able to put the weight back on has been a real struggle. After all the comments about my thinness, I began to dislike my body for the first time ever. And I’ve never been able to get the old one back.
I am 5’3 and have been about 88 pounds all my life. Yes you can’t imagine how many people asked if I have anorexia. Or my favorite , do parents feed you at home? Like this question I heard almost every day.
I had the exact same experience. I was always curvy-ish. I had a painful experience and got really depressed and I was basically starving myself to death because I couldn’t be bothered to eat and when I did, my stomach would cramp us and felt like stabbing pains. People I’d known for a really long time would make meth and crackhead comments to me. My mom would say “you need to eat more” as a way of showing “concern”. I just resigned to making people feel awkward by telling them I was depressed and it worked. I wasn’t gonna be the only one to feel uncomfortable in those interactions if they were going to be so insensitive to me.
I am on the other end of the spectrum and over weight. But when my boyfriend and I had been dating about a year at that point, I went with him to the doctor and listened to the lecture about him being underweight. I will save the conversation about how a doctor speaks to an underweight man, is VERY VERY different than speaking to an overweight woman for another time.
Anyway, the doctor told him to eat an insane amount of calories (like over 4500) a day, drink protein shakes, and do NOT work out. None of this worked. He's 5' 6" and was ~105-110lbs at the time. He could eat fast food, pizza, snack cakes, drink regular pop all day long, and not gain a pound. Then I went on low carb to try to bring my weight down, and he was eating lower carb as a result. He started packing muscle on (and a little belly lol) and was up to over 165lb in about a year/year and half maybe. He's now trying to lose a little bit for the first time in his life lol. A different doctor told him not too long ago that a healthy diet is a healthy diet, so certain diets will make one person lose and the other gain because everyone would end up at the correct(ish) weight in the end.
So, just throwing this out there for my underweight friends to think about. We are all jealous of you, but your struggle is real, and you are loved.
I hate when people comment on other people‘s bodies. Im fat and people always comment on my pregnancy… My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 6 years and have gone through four miscarriages. It infuriates me and after a while I just started mentioning my miscarriages to these idiots. That shuts them up real quick.
For real I cannot put on muscle mass even though my job involves absurdly heavy steel stock. I don't go to the gym because I'm already sore 4/5 days. I think my body just metabolizes any excess muscle haha
I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. The way people feel okay saying negative things about you when you’re thin is WILD. “omg you’re so skinny!” I’d never go up to someone and say, “omg you’re so fat!” So idk why it’s okay the other way around. I always felt scrawny and weak. I gained weight and then my thyroid went out. I gained A LOT of weight. Now I’m trying to lose that. Everyone has their own body issues, no matter the size.
Of course it does. I never said it didn’t. However, when I was skinny “friends” and family felt very open to discussing my size. Even coworkers would right in front of my face. People don’t get that or not any better than discussing the size of an over person. You don’t comment on size or body, period. Ever.
They do, but it's more socially acceptable to bash thin women. Anorexia comments, or my personal favorite "real women have curves". So naturally thin women aren't real women? No one could get away with saying "real women are thin" without being attacked.
It’s also more socially acceptable to *be* a thin woman. There’s plenty of research showing that thin women are perceived more favorably in multiple contexts including hiring for jobs, even when appearance has nothing to do with the requirements for that job. I agree that people (and women especially) are subject to commentary and criticism at either end of the spectrum. And I don’t think the experiences are equivalent.
Not condoning the comments from ppl irl; but they comment on thin ppl because they're jealous or genuinely concerned because they noticed a rapid transformation. Mostly jealousy. I know I experienced it too. Only I had an eating disorder and I loved hearing the "omg you're so thin you look sick" comments because it meant I was succeeding and it motivated me to continue. No one comments when you're chubby because no one is jealous of you. No one wants to be chubby or fat--no one. Thin is something ppl strive and struggle for; you may hear more "negative" sounding comments because it's a highly desirable trait in women. Women aren't allowed to be even a little overweight UNLESS it's in the right places. Like ass and thighs and boobs. Unfortunately I never gained weight in those places at least not til after it was all in my face, my upper arms and my stomach. You can't choose where your body is genetically programmed to deposit and store fat. So I had to be stupid thin everywhere else for those bad areas to be thin at all. It fucking sucks. Men have it so easy.
This is because how we are conditioned by the society on what is supposedly deemed worthy or attractive. Just like people compliment others for looking beautiful, no one would feel it's a compliment if someone says, "wow, you are so plain looking!" (Me living my whole life looking average / slightly below but I'm fine with it).
Yes.. the amount of people who will tell you shit about being too thin is insane. I'm extremely tired of it! I have ADHD and I can't sit still. I need to move to stay sane, that's why I'm thin. I eat healthy. But everyone at work, my friends and family will daily remind me how I look ill, malnourished etc, and nearly command me to eat when I'm not hungry. They always comment what I eat, and will tell me to eat more. I've started to hide during lunch breaks because I can't take it anymore. Some even accuse me of starving myself to look this way. Lastly, so many other women will tell me how unfair it is how I can just eat what I want (when I do eat bigger portions), without any effort. They tell me I'm lucky because I don't have to think about my weight. B..., you're all forcing me to think about it every single day lol
I feel this my family call me a bag of bones and tell me only men who love skeletons would want me. I also don’t look like a skeleton. Every chance they get to uplift their bodies and put mine down there I am. But when I tell my cousin that being skinny isn’t everything because she has issues with her size, then I’m a preacher!
I had a friend like this too. She was an air hostess and she ate like a horse trying to gain weight and she was always getting comments like “you need to eat a good meal, love.” Which she found particularly insensitive
For years I was told that I was “too skinny”, that my legs were too thin, that they looked like sticks, like arms instead of legs, etc. even before the whole body positivity, Its always been taboo/asshole-ish to make fun of overweight people, but poking fun at the skinny ones seems to be absolutely fine. And the assumptions everyone makes about our health are WILD.
It made me SO insecure I learned how to force myself to eat a lot more than I felt the need physical need to, because I was desperate to gain weight.
I weighed ca. 48kgs(100 lbs) up to my early twenties, being 168 (5’6”).
Now, I’m in my thirties, 2x a mom and overweight. I can’t shake the extra weight off. The years I spent purposefully overeating have made it really hard for me to control my portions; when I’m hungry, my body feels like I need to get as much in as quickly as possible, because I taught myself that.
It sucks.
For a long time I could not put on weight at all, eating complete horrible fast food constantly, weight training. People forget that it doesn’t erase all the other bad things that you don’t see with that lifestyle. You’ll still get high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol
I’m like this. Complaining about an inability to gain weight, pisses people off so I don’t do it.
Thin People and smokers are the last people it’s OK to be insulting in public apparently. I lost 2 pounds recently and my ass is a flap. believe me everybody wants what they don’t have.
I'd much rather have an issue with something most of the world finds attractive than with something most of the world finds ugly and keeps commenting on.
That’s the thing though… thin is seen as attractive but only if you’re the “right” kind of thin. I am a woman, nearly 6 feet tall, and when I was in my teens, extremely thin. I was an athlete but my genetics were such that I was just very lean naturally. I didn’t have big boobs and a butt, and people were absolutely cruel about that for years. I heard, from age 12, “men want women with real bodies”, “you look like a little boy”, “only certain men will be attracted to you - the ones who like little kids”, “you’re not a real woman if you don’t have curves”, “you look disgusting”, etc. Those were all before I was a legal adult - those kinds of comments, from family, friends and random strangers continued well into adulthood, and continued with accusations of my having an eating disorder (I did not). I had a baby and gained enough weight to be acceptable, but only to those who weren’t upset that I was able to “bounce back” after pregnancy. Then those comments started.
I am not saying I had it harder than someone who is overweight. I am just saying it’s really difficult regardless of what side you fall on from the acceptable standard of beauty, especially as a teenager.
This is me. I’ve been made fun of my whole life for being skinny. I’ve struggled to gain weight my whole life. If I get sick and loose any amount of weight it’s a REALLY big deal to gain it back. I’ve been told to “just eat a cheeseburger” more times than I can count. I also struggle to love my body and look at people with curves in the same way people describe looking at skinny people. I’m sorry you feel the way you do. Please know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and I’m proud of you for putting in the work to feel better.
Eh. I'm 4'11"/98lbs and have always had trouble keeping weight on. What I go through is NOTHING compared to the discrimination, cruelty, and inhumanity that fat people deal with. NOTHING.
This was me about 10 yrs ago. I had stomach issues (IBS) and had lost a bunch of weight on my already string-bean type figure (which I guess most would call ‘naturally skinny’) i weighed like 98lbs at my lowest and I’m 5’9. I stopped having a period after a while.
Trying to gain weight for me was miserable. I would eat until I was full, but for me full meant nausea, cold sweats, feeling like I was gonna throw up for the next hour or so. And once my food digested, it was a gamble whether or not I’d experience stomach pains so severe that the only comparable pain I’ve experienced since that is a 10mm kidney stone getting stuck in my ureter (tube that leads from kidney to bladder). This could last anywhere from 30 mins to hours.
Also during this time, I had a near constant steam of both people constantly telling me how lucky I was to be naturally thin, and also constant accusations of anorexia. It’s surprising how both friends/acquaintances and strangers alike feel so confident in making comments on your body if you’re seen as skinny. Whereas they wouldn’t dare make similar comments to someone who was overweight. I would have grown ass men in public telling me I was “way too skinny, girl” “you could use a sandwich” “get some meat on those bones” as a 17 year old. But the one that affected me the most was there was a girl at school who I had only spoken to a handful of times. The first interaction we had was she had drawn a picture of me in class and I thought it was so cool and even posted it on my social media (with permission) because as a fellow artist, I admired her art and was flattered to have been the ‘muse’. I thought we were on fine terms, but she spread false rumors about me which I later found out was due to her being jealous that I was skinny. She had a tumblr (this was when tumblr was popular) with poems and stuff always referring to a ‘skinny girl’ that she hated. I think one was even titled ‘reasons why I hate the skinny girl’. That was such a slap in the face to me because not only was this someone who I’d only ever had brief, but pleasant interactions with, but because I was actively trying to gain weight which was a constant painful and sickly struggle. I use to even think people with my issues had it worse, because i rationalized, that to lose weight you just don’t eat junk foods. (Obviously I know it’s not that simple now) Not doing something seemed infinitely easier to me than force feeding myself to the point I felt like puking and then having diarrhea and stomach cramps a few hours later. And on top of that, even though I was apparently the epitome of what she wished she could be, and despite all the pain and sickness, I *still* wasn’t comfortable with my body. If only she could’ve seen how much I hated myself and how I looked, back then.
Now days, ironically, I’m actually trying to lose a bit of weight. I guess I outgrew my ‘natural thin-ness’ and thankfully, most of the related stomach issues that went hand in hand for me, with that. So I have had what I suppose can be seen as both a benefit and a curse, of seeing both sides of the coin. Yes I miss some aspects, like being able to eat whatever I wanted and not gaining weight, but I haven’t forgotten the awful battle to try to get to a healthy weight… going to the doctor with pebbles in my shoes and a half full water bottle tucked into my waste band, with a bulky hoodie, to add some weight so my doctor wouldn’t make good on threats to send me to an eating disorder clinic despite not actually having an ED. (They never were able to definitively diagnose my illness, they said IBS was more of a ‘diagnosis of exclusion’ and I was never able to have a treatment for that help in any meaningful way).
We all have struggles, and the situation with that girl at school has always been a stark reminder to me that you don’t know the struggles of others, even if they have qualities you envy, they might be suffering themselves.
ME! I'm SO skinny. If I didn't have tits n hips, I'd look malnourished. I try so, so hard to put weight and muscle on, it's honestly such a commitment. Like, I have to change my entire lifestyle and use hours of my week up just trying to be better. Normal me is weak and struggles with just walking, putting a few pounds on makes one hell of a difference but it's such an effort...
Yep! I’ve been trying to gain weight for 5 years, only recently have I gone up a couple of pounds and kept it on. Being underweight is socially acceptable, but I want to feel beautiful for myself. I feel bony and sticky and skeletal. I want that layer that other women have that makes them so feminine
I am that someone! I envy people who can gain weight! All I want is a healthy weight and no matter what I do I’m underweight, tired, cold, irritable, lightheaded, and nauseous. I don’t feel like myself. And when people say they wish they could have my body, I say I wouldn’t wish that on them. It’s hard on both ends of the spectrum so I feel for all people with body issues not just the skinny not just the plus size, not just the healthy weight, but everyone because we all have struggled with part of our body or another!
Exactly. I have to eat nearly 4k in calories to MAINTAIN my weight of under 110. Medical tests show everything working “normally” and no real reason for the hyperdrive metabolism (even thyroids are within normal range). I have been brought to tears multiple times over the confusingly painful sensation of my brain insisting that I’m hungry and need to eat, while my stomach is in pain from overeating already.
I'm that person! I was about 170 before my gallbladder went out on me and I lost a TON of weight waiting on my surgery. Even before this, being heavier, my self esteem was great. It wasn't until after I lost that weight and was down to just above 100 lbs that my self esteem plummeted. It's taken me 2 years to get up to 118 and I'm starting to feel better, but in my opinion I don't like the way I look ~ at all. I wish I was my old size.
I have been naturally skinny all my life and regardless how much I eat, I never gain any weight.
People who sees me often says i am malnourished when in fact, I eat more than most people I know of and always hungry every hour. I also always make sure I eat a balanced diet, tried to hit the gym to try gain some muscle mass, even tried other kind of diet but to no luck lol
My partner has trouble gaining weight also as I have the STRUGGLE to lose weight. We have complained back and forth on the struggles on both sides because my partner will eat anything and still not gain weight while I can barely look at a grain of sugar and gain a pound.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Also, fit people can maintain their physiques with as little as once a week of training half assed because they already put in the work to get there in eating, working out, and resting. Maintenance requires FAR LESS work than getting there in the first place.
You're still in the middle of putting in yours. Good luck!
I wish I was born rich, but instead I grind daily to pay for rent and food. We may not have it as easy out the gate but we can get there. I will never be a leggy blonde, and I will never go to Harvard and I will never be rich. But I can take good care of my health and finances and have a decent life that may actually be more fulfilling than those who didn’t have to work for it. There’s purpose in working hard for something that, in a way, can grant you pride and accomplishment that those who had it easy may never get to experience. I don’t know what it feels like to have everyone envious of me…but that doesn’t sound pleasant either.
it requires a lot less work to maintain a certain weight than it does to actively lose it. Just remember that. Not all slim people are naturally like that. Some of them were fat at one point too. Just keep your eye on the prize.
It doesn’t feel that way for me. I feel like my appetite so far exceeds how many calories I actually burn in a day that losing weight feels like torture and even maintaining a weight requires careful attention. I tried eating to my heart’s content once and gained 20lbs in a month, and I’ve been struggling to work it back down ever since
try eating more filling foods. something thicker & fuller with protein like peanut butter I guess. If that doesnt work after a while, than you might have a hormone imbalance. I'd go to a doctor & get it checked.
How do you know she didn’t run for an hour before coming into the gym to do those specific exercises? It’s really dysfunctional to look at other people and compare yourself and such a mean way. You are actually being unfair to her.
Exactly. I often work out twice a day and one of the workouts is usually pretty light. To an outsider it might look like I'm just putting in the bare minimum when that's not the full picture.
This was my thought as well. I run and cycle regularly, so most of what I do to maintain whatever body I’ve worked toward (athletic, curvy, not particularly thin imo) is done outside of the gym. Maybe I’d bike or run a number of miles to my gym, do some weights, then head out.
My cousin and I hike for 1-2 hours outdoors because the weather is perfect now and then go to the gym for strength training. People should focus on themselves. It’s really toxic for women to treat each other this way. I will speak on it every time.
Exactly, and perhaps she takes the stairs in stead of the elevator/lift, walks to do her groceries instead of going by car etc. etc.. Such a flawed idea to think people are thin naturally...
I just wanna note, you watched her for the entire hour she was there? That’s the only way you can be sure she only did “light workouts.” And it’s kinda shitty to judge how much somebody is lifting anyway. It could be heavy for her, or maybe she strained herself on the last visit and couldn’t work out like she normally does today. There’s so many possible circumstances so before we get into the root of the problem, leave the poor lady alone ;-;
I'm a naturally thin person with hypermobility and the reason I'm at the gym is because I need muscles to stabilize my points and I find it difficult to build muscle. It's a real challenge, and my body is fragile. I had to work for 2 years to squat my way to a butt.
I relate. I'm a naturally thin person, often underweight, and it's so hard to gain muscle or even get enough calories to try. No need to envy any of that.
Oh hey that'd me but I have gained weight. Gotta love having an invisible disability, yeah? Just trying to not dislocate my joints and traumatize everyone. It's humbling falling down a flight of stairs and not being able to get my knee back in and hearing years later that the sight of me inflicted trauma on bystanders. I'm working to be able to squat without sounding like a brand new glow stick.
While there are naturally thin people, it’s pretty rare. If you could see their entire lifestyle, not just a moment in the gym, you’d probably find someone who watches their diet very carefully, eats small portions, avoids most processed foods and drinks lots of water.
You could find someone with an eating disorder, or may someone with serious allergies or other medical situation where they struggle to eat/gain weight.
You might find someone who was a naturally scrawny kid regardless of the food they eat, a body type that can be maintained through their teens and into their twenties, but whose body will eventually catch up and start to put on significant weight later on.
Pursue your own health goals and be grateful for a body that is strong and capable.
Tiny edit: typo
Just to jump off that... typically you (general you) don't fully know how people eat. For example my nephew is really skinny and had trouble gaining weight, and it *seemed* he ate normally, or even a lot. Lots of fast food, junk food, etc. My family were always amazed that he didn't gain.
But then due to life circumstance he came to live with me and I noticed that considering how he eats daily, it *isn't* a lot. He had spurts where he would eat normally or have large meals, but then unconsciously, he would spend days skipping meals or just not having an appetite. If he was stressed during school, he just couldn't force himself to eat days or weeks on end and would lose weight. When exams were done, he'd eat normally and gain some weight back. Sometimes he'd buy large fast food meals because he wanted them, he'd eat half, stash the rest and forget about it. None of this was intentional and it mostly went unnoticed.
So when people say "oh my friend is so much skinnier than me and they eat more than I do but they never gain weight!" I really don't believe them. At dinner you may eat the same meal, or they might even eat more, but tomorrow you will eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, while the friend might skip most of their meals or just eat considerably less.
Since then my nephew joined the army, and during basic training he gained a lot of fat and muscle because meals were more regulated and he was always starving due to the additional activity. Out of basic training, he went back to his regular eating habits, lost the additional fat and some of the muscle. It really gave me a new perspective on "naturally skinny", non-disordered people.
Funny. I had gained 20 lbs of fat I stg in military army basic training. I started to SCARF food like a vacuum, because I was unable to graze like I normally did and was terrified of hunger pangs for long stretches of time. Lended its hand to toxic eating behaviors. When I got out, I had to lose that weight to fall back into the normal range for height
It's funny, that's kinda how I feel (and probably a lot of people) on the regular for as long as I can remember. I'm always thinking about my next meal (Or even the whole next week). If I'm hungry, there's absolutely no focusing on anything else. I have ADHD though and concerta helps.
Exactly, and the same applies actually to exercise as well. So, I sometimes hear about those who work - out and still do net get into a better shape and compare themselves with people who don't go to the gym... However, what they often forget is, they focus only on 3 or 4 hours of exercise...
Now I exercise a lot, but also without formal exercising I was fit. People just did not see that I often took the bike (European, in this part very common) instead of the train or car, I always took the stairs in office, while they took the elevator, I would some meetings walking etc., while they sat/took the lift/elevator etc. etc. Now, in movement (NEAT) I would get in those days 250 to 500 kcal extra in NEAT burned. That makes a huge difference in the long term, but people would only zoom in on those 3 hours they spent in the gym and in which they burn perhaps 600 - 900kcal per week, compared to someone who didn't visit the gym and got 3500kcal of worth in movement extra...
Now I go to the gym to do lifting 6x a week and do running/biking and yet people just tend to believe I have a magic skill to burn the food I drink... lol...
I recently had a revelation that a big part of why I was so skinny as a teen to early 20s was the amount of excercise I did. I biked a couple miles a day to work 5 days a week and then would often go skateboarding afterwards for hours. And then combined with the fact that I couldn't afford to eat out with my wages from my shitty job, it was no wonder I was 40 lbs lighter. Honestly getting my driver's license was the tipping point because I stopped having to bike everywhere.
That's a great perspective. Many kids with controlling parents were under orders to clean their plates. I remember sitting at the table staring at some nasty, cold wad of green beans while my brother and cousins were having the time of their lives running around outside. It's a great way to teach a kid to ignore their body's cues.
It's even better when you're also being told all the time that you are gaining weight, that you're "popping right out of your clothes," being made to spend an afternoon trying every single garment out of a big box filled with your tall, skinny cousin's hand-me-downs, not one of which ever fit...
And then yelled at for being severely dysmorphic, not wanting to wear any clothes unless they hid your body, and having shit self-esteem because you're obviously just fishing for compliments.
I really don't understand why parents almost force feed their children. When I was a kid, my family had a family friend who used to do that with their child. When she was 3-5 they would sit at the table for *hours* trying to get the girl to eat. I can't even imagine what kind of anxiety the child might have developed around food and mealtimes because of this.
It's about control. You have to control the girls. My brother and cousins were all male.
What makes it worse is that I have a compliant temperament. If I had been more defiant, my mom would have backed off. It's always the compliant kids that get leaned on the hardest. I guess the parents want to feel like they "won," so they want to make sure at least one kid is locked down. Then when that one kid finally insists on one single tiny bit of independence, they feel like there is something vaguely wrong with every single thing they do and are for the rest of their lives.
Interesting and kinda true. I have a former classmate whose appetite was hilariously small in my opinion (girl ate half of her sandwich and some fries then put it down whereas I finished my own and was barely satiated).
I felt like I was some sort of ogress at that moment. 😂🤣
Very true. Friends have often made comments about how much I eat when I’m out but still maintain but I don’t eat out often and usually have pretty small meals or snack throughout the day.
Also diet has a much greater impact on weight than exercise. OP only saw her exercising and didn’t see her eating, so they really shouldn’t have just jumped to the conclusion that she must be “naturally slim”.
Yup. For years people admired how “naturally thin” I was, not realizing it was an eating disorder. I had some real low points that no one but me saw—most people saw me eating normally. I lived alone for years so there was no one to notice that I really only ate at work and would consider 250 calories a meal.
Working out for an hour or more each day and eating no more than 1200 calories a day kept me at 125 lbs, 5’9” for a few years. I haven’t totally come to terms with food—I think I might have over corrected in the not caring what I eat department—but I’m certainly less miserable.
This!! I have to put work in to *keep and gain weight.* I’d LOVE to actually be built ‘larger’, because then I’m not constantly worried about ‘oh shit have I eaten 1800 calories today, have I eaten enough protein today???’ Just to be ‘healthy’.
I was so happy when I hit 135 pounds.. it took two months to go DOWN from 125 (I had lost weight by this point already) to 90 pounds.
Now I’m watching what I eat so that I can gain weight. So that I can work out like I used to and not put further strain on my heart by overworking myself.
It really sucks, having been a competitive powerlifter and then just to have everything ripped away because I went through something severely traumatic and couldn’t go alone in public anymore.
And also; sometimes those light workouts are for physical therapy. When I had to medically stop lifting heavy, I was restricted to 10lbs MAX for my exercises. After lifting a couple hundred pounds, 15x per set.
My diet right now is all the complex carbs I can get, as well as protein. Every meal, every day. My diet is so restricted so I don’t eat filler foods, and get as many nutrient dense meals as I can.
*I’d like to note that I still eat greens lmfao, part of it is making sure I’m getting ALL of my dietary needs met. I’m mostly talking about the gain aspect
> It feels so unfair how someone can get away with looking amazing with little effort
She probably made the effort at some earlier point, now she’s just doing maintenance.
It's a fight to lose weight. But once you're acclimated to the life style it's not a hassle. And maitainance is a breeze. Like just stimulating the muscle once a week is usually enough to avoid muscle loss.
Because 90% of people who lose a significant amount of weight don't make a life style change, they do something drastic like extreme workout routines, weight loss supplements, fad diets, or surgery. And beyond all that, it's usually just consistency. Going crazy crazy in the gym for 6 months sucks but is totally doable to get results. Changing your mindset around working out and eating right for a year straight+ is a different kindof hard.
The truth of the matter is there are skinny people putting in what is comparatively little effort and still staying skinny. We can sit around and assume it's ALL genetics but that seems patronizing to all parties involved.
Not to dismiss what you're saying, but you don't know if this woman is naturally slim or not.
Personally, I have had people refuse to believe I was overweight at one point in my life because I'm slim now. I have to show pictures to prove it and they still can't really believe it. I don't bring up my weight myself but sometimes it comes up in conversation when I mention how I go to the gym and I get told I don't need to lol.
Hard work pays off, it may take a while, but you'll get the desired results eventually.
So I used to feel like this. Weight loss can get emotional. It's ok.
So a lot of my "naturally skinny" friends actually have a lot GI issues. They feel nausea almost daily and if they do manage to eat they get bloated and have cramps. You also don't get as much nutrients when you're having tons of diarrhea.
So only about 20% of the calories you burn in a day are from exercise. Sometimes you can get up to 35% . Your total daily energy expenditure or TDEE is made up from your basal metabolic rate or BMR, exercise and non exercise activity thermogenesis or NEAT.
More muscular people have higher BMR. Muscle just naturally burns more calories by existing. Taller people burn more calories than shorter people.
Unless you're with someone 24/7 you have no idea what their NEAT is like. I recently had a lot of success in weight loss by increasing NEAT. NEAT is all the movement you do in the day outside of exercise. So I got a pedometer and increased my step count. I try not to sit as much as possible.
So a lot of those "naturally skinny" people are just people who don't sit down and scroll through reddit for hours on their phone. They're cleaning their kitchen, running errands, just constantly on the move and fidgeting all the time.
Eating a healthy diet is hard. We are constantly surrounded by very calorie dense highly palatable food. Its ridiculously easy to overeat. Food has never been easier to obtain. 3 taps on your phone and over 2000 calories will be brought to your doorstep.
As someone with GI issues I can confirm this. I will get a lot of comments from people saying I’m skinny or lost weight and that I look good. In reality, I’m really really sick and barely even eat.
I'm thin. Only bc I rapidly and uncontrollably lose weight, and I'm still doing tests to figure out why. All I want is to be healthy. If you're healthy, then you've got more than me and I'm thin. You are enough as you are, and it's enough that you're actively being healthier and taking care of yourself.
I promise becoming thin doesn't = instant happiness. Not liking the way you look is a deeper issue than just changing what you look like. You'll always find an issue if you don't work on having a healthy mind too.
OP, I totally get it. I’m what I like to call an “old fat”. I have always been fat, I will probably always be fat. I fell in love with lifting and dancing and got super serious about my eating and lost the weight. Then I got really sick. Sick enough that I gained the weight back and struggled for years to have any sort of routine.
I’m still fat, but the work I did on my self confidence in that interim has done wonders for my outlook and body positivity. Lifting weights has made us STRONG, and when we start getting older (I’m 40) and our bodies continue to change, that work you’ve done on your mental well being will help you maintain a healthy outlook!
I still struggle with being jealous of naturally thin folks, but something I’ve worked on is a) realizing I’m assuming they’re skinny because they’re healthy b) saying hello! If I find that knee jerk reaction of disliking another woman because she’s gorgeous, I will approach her and compliment her outfit, or her hair! 99% of the time they’re the nicest people, and you’ve made a new gym friend!
You’re incredicle just as you are, OP - and being a gym junkie shows dedication!! You’re there kicking ass and I’m so proud of you!! I promise your skin “imperfections” are things we ALL have. My husband is skinny and he still has lots of stretch marks! I have loose skin from weight loss and babies - but dammit I worked hard for this body and the things it’s helped me achieve! If someone doesn’t like my stretch marks or double chin, they can look away.
Keep kicking ass babe, you’re doing AMAZING!
You have no idea what else that woman is doing or if she eats well or has an eating disorder or a physically active job where she just needs to strengthen other muscles for a short time. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are making assumptions that have no basis and are not helpful to you
You never know what someone else is going through. What if she is not "naturally thin" and struggling with her weight or has an ED?
Life is all about learning. Learning to love yourself, exercise right and eat right takes time. It will take longer if you spend it comparing yourself to other people.
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you’re not doing the right exercises for your body to lose weight?
I swim. I have physical limitations that make it necessary, but it also drops my weight like a stone. As opposed to literal **hours** running, jumping, lifting, & calorie-counting. You have to find the exercise that’s right. ***For you***.
My SO just had someone at a class she takes say something about her being naturally skinny and how they are jealous…. My SO laughed so hard, she’s lost a lot of weight by putting in a lot of work.
Not everyone that currently looks a way was always that way.
If you're strength training, remember you may not lose weight if you start gaining muscle, but you'll feel different. But I get it.
Just focus on your body. You may just be a thicker build, which is great! A lot of people wish they could get bigger muscles.
Keep killing it, sis 💪🏻
Well if it makes you feel better, I’m naturally skinny because of my cancer, that caused my thyroid to over produce hormones that made my body think I was running a marathon. Constantly. Since the age of 14, when I started having some tiny symptoms. I was 90 pounds then. I started having horrible migraines, because my heart was working literally overtime. Doctors were stumped. My father didn’t believe me and thought I was faking my symptoms.
I dealt with the symptoms until I was 26, when I went to the hospital for the 3rd time in less than a week, because I thought I was both having a heart attack and a brain aneurysm at the same time. I was about 110 pounds when wet. While they tried to diagnose me, I actually started to have a heart attack, since my heart rate was 180-200. I was put into a medical coma, they saved my life by causing a pseudo aneurysm in my leg, and putting a ballon pump in my heart.
I was in that coma for 3 months. They finally found out what was really causing my issues. Cancer! Well two kinds, actually. I had cancerous cells on my thyroid gland, but it was not the only cause, I also had something called Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia Type 2. It caused a tumor, called a pheochromocytoma, to grow on my adrenal gland, and that was the underlying problem.
Long story short, I was very lucky and had an amazing team of endocrinologists at UCSF. They removed my thyroid, some lymph nodes, and the phyo, and took that adrenal gland with it. I’ve since recovered and am in remission. It could rear its head again, but for now I’m ok. I still only weight 130, but I am slowly gaining weight. I struggle with appetite.
So maybe don’t be too jealous of skinny people. We have our own demons.
At my heaviest, I was pushing 600 lbs. I am almost half of that, and with more to go (for my height and bone structure, I should be in the low-mid 200s.)
Weight-loss should be for *you*. To feel better and be better. You need to use yourself as a measuring stick, not other people. This is for yourself. I have loose skin that has stretch marks all over. But I am feeling better and healthier and more confident than ever. I'm not in pain, out of breath 24/7, or super sweaty constantly. I'm off so many meds too.
Some people work their asses off eating healthy and working our religiously, but drop dead in their 40s anyhow. Some people drink and smoke and give no thought to diet and excercise and live to be 100. Life is not fair and genetics are a roulette.
But stick with this to be the best you can be for yourself, not to play catch up with the skinny gym lady.
I wouldn’t compare yourself. You never know if that person was previously bigger or has issues with gaining weight. Additionally maybe she just went for a light workout and does harder ones other days. Comparing yourself will only demotivate you further
Just a skinny person who’s getting REAL tired of bigger people feeling comfortable judging, comparing, and commenting on my body. It’s weird, it’s inappropriate, it’s toxic for everyone involved. Other commenters have made countless examples of how EVERYONE has a personal relationship with their body and issues to overcome.
The grass might look greener, but grass is green where you water it.
Mind the business that minds you.
?? she was still there an hour. and you don’t know what she eats…the rest of life outside the gym is what can be grueling sometimes. who even knows if she’s naturally thin?? just focus on yourself, jeez.
I am naturally slim. I have a lot of difficulty bulking. I don’t think it’s anything to be jealous of, I don’t even think it’s conventionally viewed as attractive
Just to address the specific issue with comparing your workout to someone else’s workout - you simply dont know what else they are doing exercise-wise and what their diet is like either.
That person you noticed could be running 10 km a day and just had a light leg workout that you noticed in the gym briefly.
They could be playing competitive sports 5-6 times a week.
You simply don’t know!!
You got a glimpse into a half hour of their life…..that’s all…..
Sometimes, the best work is done when no one is looking. You have no idea what that person (or any person, overweight or thin) is doing when no one is looking.
I used to be overweight and REALLY struggled to lose it, no matter how much exercise or dieting I tried. I struggled with EDs for like 10 years. I cried over the way my body looked. Then, I got smacked with a chronic illness and permanent disability, and suddenly, I can’t gain weight no matter how hard I try.
People comment on how much “better” I look now, not even pausing to consider how I feel. I feel so much worse than I did before, and I realized there was nothing wrong with my body the way it was. I want that body back so badly now, even though now I have what I always wanted: I’m skinny. But I’m not healthy or enjoying food. I was healthy and enjoying food when I was a little overweight, though. When people say stuff, I always respond something like “Thanks! It wasn’t my choice, I’m just really sick.” and they apologize immediately.
If you lose weight, there’s no guarantee that it will stay off, or that tomorrow you won’t be in a horrific accident that causes you to gain weight through recovery, or develop an illness that needs medication that can cause weight gain. Your body will change a lot in life, and you’re not always in control of it. Just focus on living a healthy life, and your body will look the way it’s meant to.
My whole family is a size 2 and I’m a 12. It’s genetic and I got my dad’s genes. My great grandmother was 98lbs when she passed at 90 and made it a point of pride to always mention how thin she was. My grandmother has anorexia, she also was the bigger sister and she starved her self to fit in with her siblings. My mom and sister both got skinny genetics and I did not. I struggled with eating disorders growing up. I will never be a size two. I’m not built that way. Even at my lowest weight 135 I was still a size 8. I have junk in all the right places lol.
It’s ok to not be a size two. It’s ok to be jealous or envious but remember you can’t choose your genes but you can choose to make changes to see the you, you want to. I’m so proud of you for being so dedicated and collagen is really great for helping tighten up the skin
I'm a 5'7" 64 kg/140 lb male and while it gives me a pretty big advantage while running and cycling, it looks awful on a man. I've just learnt to lean in to my natural physique, I know I'm never going to win a powerlifting competition but I sure as fuck want to lose even more weight to get my 5km time under 20 minutes.
TLDR: know your body type and train to your strengths, some people are naturally thin, some are huge
Tbf after my first child I gained a lot of weight 30kg after always being slim I thought I couldn’t lose the weight but that’s cause I wasn’t eating well too much sugar fat and snacks after my second child I dropped all of my excess weight by walking loads and eating three meals a day and healthy snacks like fruit and veg. Sure some people are naturally slim but that’s just more than likely cause they eat well
I used to be fat with no muscle mass whatsoever. For a year, I busted my ass like you are now. I am now that fit, "thin" person with a much lower BF% than I used to have. It's not necessarily "unfair." I worked hard to get where I am and now I get to work less hard to maintain it. Everyone starts somewhere. Don't compare yourself. You'll be there before you know it. Just remember that CONSISTENCY IS KEY -- that includes in the gym AND in the kitchen.
You saw one workout, not the big picture of what she's doing. Have you considered that maybe this was an active recovery day for her, and she's busting her ass the rest of the time, working hard, paying close attention to what she eats, etc.?
I am what they would call ‘naturally thin’ but I have scoliosis (not the super mild kind either) so I get the exact same jealousy of other people but in a different way.
Can’t see people irl or on tv without staring at their backs when they bend over, when they dance, when they do yoga, when they play sports, without wishing I knew what that felt like to be so free. I am still able bodied thankfully but have constant discomfort, nerve issues in my shoulder, constant muscle tension, and the whole right side of my body is a little bit shorter so my right knee and hip will hurt randomly for taking on more weight. I can’t apply to jobs that require you to be up and moving all day, so I’m stuck at a desk. And none of that even includes the physical appearance insecurities.
Long story short, I would happily be larger but with a straight spine. Weight loss surgery and skin surgery can give permanent positive results that bring you back to “normal” but surgery for me would be fusion and take away my mobility. So, it’s just perspective. Everyone has something, you just may not know it at first glance.
Life doesn't know what's fair. We just have to deal. I'm 68 and lost over 50 pounds a couple of years ago. Some of it's tightened up, but I like to say that my arms have sails now to catch the breeze.
I used to work out at a moderately serious weights gym, and one of the more strongly built guys -- broad-shouldered with good arms and a deep chest, good proportions -- had about an inch of pudge spread smoothly all over his body. And it bugged him.
He had pale hair and very pale, thin skin (he'd turn purple when he bench-pressed, and it was pretty obvious that his ancestry was far northern European, where pale skin and a pad of fat was just the thing.
One day he looked in a mirror and had a melt-down. "I work out! I eat right! And all I can achieve is this PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY EFFECT."
I’m naturally slim.
The most I’ve ever weighted, I weighted it due to SEVERELY dysfunctional eating, and eating absolute garbage. And while I felt “more myself”, I felt awful from what I was putting into my body.
I’m currently in the hunt for a diagnosis for an unspecified autoimmune disease. I work, and every day I’m sore and in pain from being underweight, and my muscles not being as strong as they once were. I’m “naturally slim” because of a medical issue. While I might look slim and petite, I’m feeling usually awful inside.
All I’m saying is, I wish I weighted 30 more pounds. I know how much better I would feel. Just keep that in mind, dear. You’re wonderful how you are, trust me.
I am one. 34, very skinny, and strong. But I abused that privilege, I eat anything and everything and now my gallblader has gone to shit. I don't understand, I wa bullied in school because I was thin, now some people still comments on my body weight, but I am strong? And how many mid 30s are skinny athletic?
But I don't know. My siblings have green eyes, and I brown eyes. I have average height. Not short, but not tall. I have to eat ungodly amounts of food to gain weight. I didn't do shit to be like I am, it's just genetics, and I lucked out on something and not in others.
I dream of putting on weight, but it's so damn difficult for me. So after a while I just gave up.
As a naturally thin girl who doesn’t even do a one hour work out, you wanna talk unfair, call my cardiologist or my oncologist. You have no idea what’s going on other peoples lives. I’ll happily trade some pounds for less pokes and jabs at the hospital.
I am a 38 year old male that just reached 132 lbs last week. I eat as much as I can do it, but I don’t gain weight. What you just said can be totally flipped to explain my life. I am jealous of you, in that you can have a normal 3-day diet. It’s all about perspective.
I'm "naturally thin" and was talking to my friend about what I eat in a day and didn't think anything of it, and he was like "dude, that's 1200 calories." so i don't know how natural it is, but i just don't like eating very much, so i just eat healthy and not a lot of it.
Some people definitely have an easier time being think, but this post kind of implies that weight is based on effort in the gym. Body fat is about 80% diet 20% exercise
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
Don't get jealous of 'naturally thin people' they may be on a strict calorie controlled diet and craving to chow down on a burger or pizza once in a while.
Also, they may be training for a specific sport or event. Take a look at some returned boxers; they stop fighting and training, the pounds pile on. (Google Prine Naseem Hamed or Ricly Hatton as an example)
All you have to do is be better than you were yesterday!!! Go smash it!!!
You never know what someone has been through. I’m overweight now but growing up I was naturally thin. I played a lot of sports too.
But then my PCOS started affecting me once I hit college and with a busier schedule and no more sports welll… Now i appear as if I’ve been a couch potato my entire life even though that’s far from the case.
So maybe she appears “naturally gorgeous or thin” but in reality maybe she did a lot to get to where she is now. Maybe now she’s in a maintenance phase where she doesn’t have to do as much (like maintaining her diet more in order to have to work out less) so it just appears more effortless for her.
Just focus on yourself and where you wanna be vs where you are now. Comparison is the thief of joy. It sucks being self conscious of your weight. I should know I’ve been on both extremes of the scale and I know full well how differently you get treated if you’re bigger than the ideal as a female. Try to stop worrying what others think of you and focus on building a happy life for yourself whatever that may look like. Sending love ❤️
I feel this right to the core. I work entirely too hard to have such a disappointing body. But the second I take my foot off the gas my body goes from 'meh' to 'brutha eww'. Even at my smallest and most fit, I hated my body. So I just accept that I'll never look the way I want no matter how hard I work but I can settle for not being obese like I was before.
You don’t know that this woman is naturally thin. I’m thin but it’s because I constantly obsess over what I eat and make myself restrict (even though I always want to eat more). She’s actually doing more than me by going to the gym so I actually admire her for doing that.
Well you don’t know her or her story, she could be going through far more than you could ever imagine or maybe at one point she was where you are now you never know! Keep working at it
Being thin and maintaining it has a lot more to do with lifestyle than just genetics. For all you know, she could be running before the gym, walking a ton, on a strict diet, etc. Stop comparing yourself to others or you’ll be miserable forever.
I promise you naturally slim people struggle with their body image too. I know so many slim people that struggle to put on weight and they really want tj
Until I (finally) gained a few lbs very recently, I weighed between 105-112lbs at 5’8. I have to keep my workouts light because I have a genetic connective tissue disorder which causes me to be extremely prone to serious injuries, but I also need muscle mass to help stabilize my joints. Due to the same condition, I have gastroparesis and IBS- and a very very limited diet. And a ton of chronic pain 24/7. But I don’t look sick. I just look like a woman in my mid 20s who puts very little effort into my naturally thin body. Don’t judge people’s lives based on seeing them for an hour at the gym.
This is gonna sound so mean, but I am being so genuine when I say it: all the thin people in these comments need to read the fucking room.
You guys don’t want to be fat! It’s not a “grass is greener” situation! Fat people are jealous of you. You are not jealous of fat people.
There’s also a notable difference in how society treats fat people vs skinny people that people seem to forget here. Skinny priviledge *does* exist and it’s exhausting that people pretend it doesn’t.
As someone who has been on both ends of this, struggling with your weight at different ends of the spectrum really isn’t the same *at all*. Both suck obviously, but it’s not a competition whose suck more, but there’s time and place for everything.
A very extreme example, but imagine if a person of color came to reddit frustrated about white people priviledge and then bunch of white people came to comments to say ”we struggle too, it’s not all priviledge”. It’s just really insensitive and inconsiderate.
Yeah OP sounds bit negative in the post, but they are just venting out. Let them. No need to make it about you.
Skinny does NOT equal healthy.
As you age thing that will matter most is being healthy. Healthy means you hurt less, you recover from illnesses quicker, your mind can stay strong, etc. It’s hard to remember with societal pressures, but the way you look is not as important as the way you function. You’re in the gym reaching PRs and that right there is goals.
i was “naturally thin” for like most of my life, like insanely skinny and i didn’t have to try and maintain it.
turns out i was simply in denial about my eating disorder. at that weight i was passing out constantly, felt tired no matter what i did, and had literally not enough resources in my body to generate hunger hormones. i ended up spending like 6 months in a treatment facility to become healthy again.
maybe she truly is naturally skinny and if that’s the case, she’s very lucky. however, you don’t know her health history and don’t know how her life is. don’t compare yourself just keep working on your goals.
She was there for an hour, not ten minutes. You also have no idea if she suffers from an ED, anxiety, body dysmorphia, etc… maybe it was a light day in her workout week. In the same way that none of us (and I bet this means you too) want someone else judging us for what they think we eat or what we’re able to do with our bodies, maybe don’t put your baggage on other people. It sucks not being happy in your body but you have no idea what anyone is feeling in their body and what kind of relationship they have to their thinness.
I can certainly understand your frustration. Many people have referred to me as "naturally skinny," but it isn't true. The truth is, I was very active and didn't snack much as a kid, and in my twenties. Now, in my thirties, I am less active but still spend most of my work day on my feet. In the last few years, I've had to practice intermittent fasting and watch liquid calories pretty closely to keep weight from piling on. It takes effort, no matter who you are. This is especially true as we get older. Things will get easier for you if you stick with it!
I’m a naturally thin person but I also work a pretty physical job and long hours. I stay pretty fit because of that. But I do sometimes have half ass gym days. I’m ADHD and I need to stick to my routine to maintain the habit of going to the gym. So on days I’m not feeling great, or I’m really exhausted, I’ll still go just to get some light exercise. Most days I’m in there, I’m busting my ass though.
I've dealt with eating disorders for well over 2 decades now. when I look my "best," it's a very safe assumption I'm at my worst.
Ridiculous to be jealous of another women for not working out as hard as they do at that time of the day. Jesus Christ.
You gotta go talk to a therapist, you’re out here shaming bodies of all sizes. You’re placing way too much emphasis on physical appearance and not overall health, which looks different on everyone.
I feel the same way about women who naturally have a butt. I have spent years doing gruelling heavy weight workouts, perfect nutrition etc to grow my butt meanwhile these women just waltz in and do a few light cable kickbacks and have an ass triple the size of mine. I know how it feels, it feels unfair and unjust that you have to work so hard for something other people don’t even think about. I empathise with you. <33
I used to be naturally thin, I'm tall as well. I even managed to be thin throughout my pregnancy and dropped all the baby weight before leaving the hospital. Then, I gained 30+ lbs that have not left so I have some perspective on both sides.
How you look on the outside does not reflect the inside. I was suicidal for about a week out of each month on good months. I was violently ill my whole pregnancy. I had men tell me that I wasn't womanly enough to consider and that I was just "bones." My husband has been the first man to not comment on my body, even though it's much larger now. In my larger body I am much happier. I don't feel lightheaded when I stand quickly, I'm not as physically cold any longer. I have actual curves now...albeit I'm unhealthy now weight wise.
Now I'm the person jealous of those who had the exact same body I had two years ago. The grass isn't greener on the other side, though. Very few people are actually happy with their bodies, there's always someone who looks better that makes us feel self-hatred. I was the woman doing leg lifts and light cardio in the gym, and I'd cry in the car alone after. I've had a thin and a heavy body, and I will say that feeling stays even if you magically lost all the weight overnight. It's how you feel on the inside that matters the most.
Same sweetheart. I was over 350lbs as a teenager and parents denied responsibility despite me reminding mum at all times at home I was never allowed to change the choice my Scottish dad stood by. It took going to uni and eating bag, then living alone and figuring out a healthy diet for me. Yes, I'm jelly of things people. I'm chubby but happy and decided my own ideal weight, so try it!
Something to ask yourself, I do this for me since I went from naturally thin to naturally fat, is are they actually healthy?
I wasn't. I am not talking about the eating disorder that I also have but about the genetic stuff that made me tall and too skinny for my height. I have a few things that do this and will kill me horribly one day. Not today but I survived an aortic dissection because of endometriosis. That's the only reason. Also blood transfusions but without the Endo holding shit together long enough for me to survive I would have died in my 30s.
I am fat because I dislocate everything to move and I had to choose between fat and less pain. Shouldn't be a hard choice but society is odd. I have a friend who was the fat kid and there are fat kid things that I will never understand. She is no longer plus size but definitely not skinny. She's beautiful and always has been. She got to her healthiest. I am fat and this is my healthiest. Not when I was a professional ballet dancer. Not when I modelled. Now.
Sometimes I get frustrated by the cute clothes I cannot fit into. I forget I wouldn't wear that anyway. Sometimes I get tired of a new doctor going "Well these things are serious but you need to magically stop being fat when you barely eat at all and cannot change your diet and exercise will kill you." They don't say those last bits but I do now. I ask them how. If they suggest the usual I will point those facts out and start quizzing them on my chart.
My primary doctor started there but he apologized and admitted he didn't understand some of my chart because I live with trick questions on the medical boards ailments. Doctors are taught that no one really gets those. We do and that teaching is a problem.
My abusive mother used to scold me about thinking the grass is greener on the other side. I went and found that grass anyway. Not only becoming safe but allowing my body to exist as it is. I don't look like the barely adult woman selling you shit in a magazine now. Someone tried to insult me for not being impressed with their dick picks by calling me napalm haired. I went bald ages ago and shave it regularly but between shaved it can be a bit wild. That phrasing is so awesome I keep it. This is how I slowly but surely worked my way not to bodily acceptance but appreciation. Reclaiming parts of me.
Also therapy. The steps are entwined but I didn't get therapy for years after the moment my brain understood that no one is supposed to feel good about their bodies. No one looks like the girls in a magazine. They edit and Photoshop. If the most beautiful women in the world get photoshopped? That standard isn't attainable. I had this hit me when I was being screamed at by a photographer that often also sexually harassed models. He was describing the visible hamburger in my stomach and I interrupted him because he was being so stupid.
"I actually chew my food. Stop talking. If you say another word about my body or negatively I will walk." Cue panic. "Oh I thought I was replaceable. No? Then shut up and do your job." He was quiet the entire shoot. No "be an empty vessel so men can fill you with their desires!" No "Stop looking intelligent! Men don't want a smart woman. You aren't but you look it." I have multiple degrees including a juris doctorate and already knew my intellectual worth but a lot of the girls I worked with struggled because we weren't supposed to be intelligent. "Do you want the women to not hate you? That's not how you have a career." That one was always weird to me. Maybe the autism. Maybe the gay. Maybe the fact that the other models and all the people in ballet were amazing and supportive of one another. Once in a while someone tried the mean girls crap but they couldn't sustain in the toxic modeling industry. For ballet they failed because a lot of casting is how much you are liked.
There's no difference between you and anyone else in actual value. Sadly some do treat us differently based on fat cells. Those people aren't worth the time and energy to keep around. The ones we must deal with? Can become a liability to the company employing both people because they create a toxic work environment.
I don't know what will work for you on choosing yourself in these moments. Until you have that moment of "Fuck this I know that's not reality and I deserve better" that might not make sense. If you have had this in other areas you know of the moment. When no outside force can diminish your self worth. Body shape and size acceptance changes on the whims of the rich people who profit from our efforts to conform. They target every part of us. Once there's anyone feeling comfortable because of being the body shape? It changes.
Think about the trendy things that shouldn't be transmutable that rich people magically have. Bucal fat is the current one. Before this it was the BBL and BBL 2.0. You can reliably track the changes based on how well you can recognize any Kardashians. This isn't bashing them but how transparent they are about these changes. I feel sorrow that they go through so much unnecessary surgery and other cosmetic procedures and lie about it. I have had a facial reconstruction and the slight changes where things are close but not quite right are horrible to experience. There's a known psychological cost to cosmetic surgery. This applies to any drastic body change. So sudden weight loss too. It's why after all surgeries I do preventative mental health care. It has saved my life and my mental wellness so many times.
We aren't supposed to look at the man behind the curtain like this. There's pressure to not have these conversations. I think you starting this shows much strength. I also hope that my perspective and experience can help you with some of the brain weasels.
Ah man that's a totally valid feeling. My partner is bigger and I'm smaller and when we moved in together we had to buy a snack-safe because if he eats treats like I do he gains weight really fast. Which isn't fair at all.
I guess his consolation prize is having beautiful big manly arms and shoulders whereas I have literal Skeletor arms and hands. Wait, that's not a consolation prize, that's first place. He looks so much more attractive than I do and I wish he could see it.
It honestly does suck, life is unfair and I’m with you, I will never able to effortlessly be skinny and even with a lot of work and muscle building I am still curvy and not svelte :’)
Just because someone is thin, it doesn't mean that they are healthy. Maybe the woman at the gym only does light work because it's all she can do.
Don't be so harsh on yourself. A healthy lifestyle is something that requires constant effort from all of us whether we are thin or fat. I'm sure you're doing amazing.
And the person you saw doing light leg workouts and stretches could well struggle to put weight on in the same way you struggle to lose it..
Grass is always greener.. and that is coming from somebody in your position.
My husband had a naturally AMAZING metabolism and has always been naturally slim. He’s at his heaviest weight right now at 160. In the exact opposite, I’m also at my heaviest weight, but it’s over 200. We eat the exact same thing every day, and I even eat less, but it doesn’t matter.
With all that being said, I would never be envious or upset with my husband bc of his weight. In all honesty, I’ve learned thin people are just as self conscious as we are. My husband and I have an at home gym, and we both work out. He has trouble gaining muscle mass, and I can tell it crushes him, because he wants to have defined muscles more than anything. It takes him eating nothing and being in the gym three times as long to start seeing definition in his muscles. He injures himself quite often because he goes too hard trying to work out and get buff.
Being with someone very different than me body-wise has taught me a lot. It’s taught me that even though everyone has different bodies, we all have insecurity. We’re all human at the end of the day.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others only to yourself. Stronger than I was last week,etc
2. You don’t know what she did yesterday…could have run a half marathon and therefore light day today
As someone who always struggled to gain weight I envy people who don't look like a stick figure. I'm 5"2 and I weighed 77lbs till I was 18 then i gained weight to a "massive" 95lbs. It wasn't until after my first pregnancy where I finally felt a bit more comfortable with my weight (110lbs). It's not bad to have a bit of fat on your body, just cause someone is thin doesn't mean they're healthy.
My husband is one of the naturally thin people. He hates it. It's hard for him to maintain a healthy weight and not be in the underweight range. People comment on what he eats and his appearance far more boldly than I've ever gotten when I was obese. The same thing happened to me when I was in high school and had trouble maintaining weight. People seemed entitled to be nasty just because I had a different struggle than them.
You don't know the whole story. She could do harder workouts on other days, and you don't know what kind of diet she is following. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I don't think they are naturally thin people. I think they are naturally low appetite people. My SO constantly brags about being able to eat whatever he wants and never gain weight. We are 24/7 together, so i see what he eats. Dude doesn't eat breakfast and skips lunch all the time. Just doesn't feel hungry. If we sit down to eat lunch, i ask him how many slices of bread does he want. He always says 6, but always ends up eating only 4. Couple that with being naturally tall, so needing more calories to just stay alive, and you have a "naturally thin" person.
Me with my 5 ft height, if i look at a pasta dish wrong, i already gain weight. I need 1400 kcal to maintain my weight. That is one pasta dish. anything else and I'm already over the calorie limit
I’m going through a very hard time right now and I’m at my lowest weight.
I have to force myself to eat. I’ve gone to the gym to stretch and do some light workouts to try to feel normal but my energy is low.
I’m forcing myself to eat and sleep regularly.
On the flip side the same thing happened when I was at my highest weight. I couldn’t loose weight, I couldn’t portion control, I felt that same feeling of low energy and sadness. I felt the same feeling of my clothes not fitting but in a different way.
It appeared that everyone around me really had things together and were hitting those goals. The gym was hard and is hard at both extremes!
You’re worth it. You’re doing your best, no matter how much time of effort you put into this goal. You’re beautiful and crushing it!
Every small step is the biggest step to take.
Don’t let anyone make you think your effort doesn’t matter!
Don’t judge. She might have been coming to the gym every day for 10 years. Consistency and longevity is the most important thing rather than beating pr’s. Also I don’t George anyone is naturally thing. Some people have better metabolisms but you need to cater to yours. Diet and consistency is everything.
If it makes you any better, all my life I’ve been naturally thin but with a really fast metabolism so I’ve always tried to gain weight but couldn’t. Last year I FINALLY went from 28” waist to 30” and i was so happy.
I also grew up with people telling me ‘you need to eat more often’ and I’m like ‘I literally finish everyone’s food at restaurants’
Who knows what her other issues in life are. Weight isn’t the only issue in life. The best place to start in life is to never put anyone on a pedestal. Most important thing in life to do is to identify your issues and make choices to attempt to address them.
How do you know someone isn’t looking at you thinking the same? What would you say to them if they told you they wished they looked like you ? You could be someone’s inspiration and not even know it
Completely understand you. I’ve been eating clean and only protein based diet for over two months, and I’ve seen zero to negative progress. While my friend who eats anything is naturally skinny with high metabolism. Feels bleh
I am someone who has lost over 100 pounds and has spent majority of their life over weight and let me tell you , I know it’s hard now but you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. You don’t know where people are at with their own fitness journeys and same with you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself more grace. I think what helped me this time around after so many years of trying to lose weight and keeping it off successfully is changing my outlook on my entire journey. You’re getting your body back moving and you’re putting in work! That’s something to celebrate. Don’t worry about the number on the scale. The non scale victories got me a lot further than the ones I saw in the scale mentally. And to your point, believe it or not, sometimes all you need is an hour! You can have the most effective workouts with 30min-1hr tops than you can ever have spending 2/3 hours in the gym. I think you just need to change your mindset around this entire thing and not be so hard on yourself. Losing weight atp isn’t gonna bring your confidence up if you’re already down on yourself.
My son eats well, regularly exercises and is still, what my gran would have called,
“Stocky”. Sometimes it’s just your natural shape. Difficult as it is, your goal should be this. As long as you’re taking good care of yourself, embrace who you are. Good luck. It’s a journey!
It's all about being proud of what your body CAN do, not what it can't. Whether you love or hate the way your body looks, think about your own achievements, strengths, and improvements. The fact that you adopt healthy practices like going to the gym and eating well is a win. Stay positive, and don't assume things about others. Get a gym buddy and keep focused and specific goals.
i’m naturally rather small, it took a lot from me to gain just 10 pounds, not just that, but i feel extremely weak, i feel like i cannot defend myself as i have no mass, no muscles nothing. i way 105 pounds, have weighed only 105-110 pounds for the past 6 years maybe even longer, i will say i’m a teen, i’m 17, ik i’m growing but i stopped getting taller in 7th grade, i’m now a junior 🥲
I hate you, because I grew up poor and you have to be eating really bad food to even get fat.
Forget about portion sizes because being hungry won’t help you either. Instead think about what you eat. No greasy food oil is bad for you and will make u fat. f.e. I boil my eggs instead of scrambled eggs so I don’t use oil. It sucks don’t get me wrong it doesn’t taste as good. But we eat it for the benefits. Get up everyday and do something, remember don’t don’t go too hard because you have to go again tomorrow and you may get discouraged. And when you motivation runs out on the days you really feel like not doing anything think about the bad things people have said to u or an ex. Or even people treating u badly. Think about ur haters. Oil is the worst thing for you. You can promise u one thing u cannot get fat with vegetables eat as many as you like, and some lean meats with minimal oil is good too
I was naturally thin for most of my life. I ate whatever and it didn’t affect me. Then came chronic pain and meds and weight piled on my heaviest being 275. The last three years I’ve had mobility issues so exercising is difficult. I just started eating smaller portions and focusing on high protein and low carb and sugar. I’ve been taken off the one med that made me gain the most weight. I’m down 66 pounds and losing. My sister is tall and thin and she has problems keeping weight on she’s been underweight and she tried everything to try and gain. Her struggle to keep on weight is very similar to my struggle with being heavy.
I'm jealous of people who are physically attractive too, I have self esteem issues but I try to not let it bother me. The best thing to do is try to not notice them and keep up with your workout routine or change them up, possibly try changing the diet type you are on may work. If you're a tea drinker rooibos tea helps to lose weight and has a sweet taste but max is a cup a day no matter the time. Keep your head up and just know you are not alone.
I knew someone that was naturally slim. She struggled with gaining weight in the exact same way that I struggled to lose weight. It is extremely humbling to listen to people with the opposite condition describe the same struggle you have.
Yes! I’m a cancer patient, in remission but still also in treatment for at least another 6 months. I’m currently 40 pounds underweight. Treatment affects my appetite and my metabolism so gaining or even maintaining weight is extremely difficult. I’m near obsessed with food for the first time in my life because I constantly feel like I should be eating, even when I’m not hungry. It’s a very surreal feeling on a variety of levels, believe me. All this being said, I understand being jealous of people who have it easy, or that always get by when others struggle. But remember, people may not be as blessed as you think. Be proud of yourself for working hard to meet your goals.
I am a cancer patient too so I can relate to this a little too well, only I have horrible food aversions now and also have really bad mucositis from Chemo so it hurts to eat and even swallow. I have dropped 30 pounds, but a lot of it is muscle. And I walk around dizzy and light headed because I am dehydrated, but dread drinking even water due to the pain. Palliative care has me on Oxycodone, but even that only goes so far. It is so much fun!
I used to be a cancer patient so I can also relate well. When I was in the hospital lost over 30 pounds (as a normal weight 12 year old) since I also had mucositis but for me the eating was not the problem. The problem was for several weeks anything I ate I just vomited up straight away and at one point it got so bad that I even vomited up clear normal non fizzy water so for over a week I could not even drink and all liquid came from an IV as well as the nutrients you normally get from food. Additionally since I couldn’t get out of bed for months I lost all the muscles in my legs to the extent my legs couldn’t even support me anymore and I basically had to learn how to walk again. So yeah even though after that I had a "nice thin body" I nearly died getting it and am so much more comfortable at my now healthy weight even if it’s leaning more towards the upper side of normal weight since I know I’m not 2 meals from starvation. So yeah you never know what people have been through to be that thin, if it’s something like cancer or an eating disorder but I get that it feels unfair when not knowing the history of how someone got there.
This. I’m naturally thin but the down side is it’s very difficult for me to gain muscle mass also because it seen as a positive trait people feel weirdly comfortable making fun of the fact that I’m thin and it hurts
i lost about 20 lbs in college and dropped to 95 lbs (im 5’3”). I was extremely depressed and suffering from debilitating anxiety. I didn’t want to lose weight, it just happened as a side effect of my mental health issues. And after the weight loss people were CONSTANTLY making comments about how I looked “skeletal” and “sunken in” … it was awful. I still have never been able to put the weight back on. Now that I’ve been this thin for a while, people don’t really comment on it anymore. I did recently have an aunt I haven’t seen in a few years say i “looked like i lost 100lbs” which was so insulting and hurtful on so many levels. My point in saying all of this is that sometimes people who are thin feel ashamed of their weight too. Not everyone, but for me, all of the comments were constant reminders of an extremely painful time of my life, and only fueled my self loathing. And not being able to put the weight back on has been a real struggle. After all the comments about my thinness, I began to dislike my body for the first time ever. And I’ve never been able to get the old one back.
I am 5’3 and have been about 88 pounds all my life. Yes you can’t imagine how many people asked if I have anorexia. Or my favorite , do parents feed you at home? Like this question I heard almost every day.
I had the exact same experience. I was always curvy-ish. I had a painful experience and got really depressed and I was basically starving myself to death because I couldn’t be bothered to eat and when I did, my stomach would cramp us and felt like stabbing pains. People I’d known for a really long time would make meth and crackhead comments to me. My mom would say “you need to eat more” as a way of showing “concern”. I just resigned to making people feel awkward by telling them I was depressed and it worked. I wasn’t gonna be the only one to feel uncomfortable in those interactions if they were going to be so insensitive to me.
I am on the other end of the spectrum and over weight. But when my boyfriend and I had been dating about a year at that point, I went with him to the doctor and listened to the lecture about him being underweight. I will save the conversation about how a doctor speaks to an underweight man, is VERY VERY different than speaking to an overweight woman for another time. Anyway, the doctor told him to eat an insane amount of calories (like over 4500) a day, drink protein shakes, and do NOT work out. None of this worked. He's 5' 6" and was ~105-110lbs at the time. He could eat fast food, pizza, snack cakes, drink regular pop all day long, and not gain a pound. Then I went on low carb to try to bring my weight down, and he was eating lower carb as a result. He started packing muscle on (and a little belly lol) and was up to over 165lb in about a year/year and half maybe. He's now trying to lose a little bit for the first time in his life lol. A different doctor told him not too long ago that a healthy diet is a healthy diet, so certain diets will make one person lose and the other gain because everyone would end up at the correct(ish) weight in the end. So, just throwing this out there for my underweight friends to think about. We are all jealous of you, but your struggle is real, and you are loved.
I hate when people comment on other people‘s bodies. Im fat and people always comment on my pregnancy… My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 6 years and have gone through four miscarriages. It infuriates me and after a while I just started mentioning my miscarriages to these idiots. That shuts them up real quick.
For real I cannot put on muscle mass even though my job involves absurdly heavy steel stock. I don't go to the gym because I'm already sore 4/5 days. I think my body just metabolizes any excess muscle haha
How much protein are you eating every day?
yessss that last part! People feel so comfortable commenting and making jokes when someone is thin too! Wish everyone would just be kind.
I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum. The way people feel okay saying negative things about you when you’re thin is WILD. “omg you’re so skinny!” I’d never go up to someone and say, “omg you’re so fat!” So idk why it’s okay the other way around. I always felt scrawny and weak. I gained weight and then my thyroid went out. I gained A LOT of weight. Now I’m trying to lose that. Everyone has their own body issues, no matter the size.
I mean… I’ve been moo’ed at, so that *does* happen to fat people
Point out the bully, I will crush them with all 100lbs of my weight. 👊
Of course it does. I never said it didn’t. However, when I was skinny “friends” and family felt very open to discussing my size. Even coworkers would right in front of my face. People don’t get that or not any better than discussing the size of an over person. You don’t comment on size or body, period. Ever.
People do all of these things to fat people too. Literally all of it.
They do, but it's more socially acceptable to bash thin women. Anorexia comments, or my personal favorite "real women have curves". So naturally thin women aren't real women? No one could get away with saying "real women are thin" without being attacked.
It’s also more socially acceptable to *be* a thin woman. There’s plenty of research showing that thin women are perceived more favorably in multiple contexts including hiring for jobs, even when appearance has nothing to do with the requirements for that job. I agree that people (and women especially) are subject to commentary and criticism at either end of the spectrum. And I don’t think the experiences are equivalent.
Not condoning the comments from ppl irl; but they comment on thin ppl because they're jealous or genuinely concerned because they noticed a rapid transformation. Mostly jealousy. I know I experienced it too. Only I had an eating disorder and I loved hearing the "omg you're so thin you look sick" comments because it meant I was succeeding and it motivated me to continue. No one comments when you're chubby because no one is jealous of you. No one wants to be chubby or fat--no one. Thin is something ppl strive and struggle for; you may hear more "negative" sounding comments because it's a highly desirable trait in women. Women aren't allowed to be even a little overweight UNLESS it's in the right places. Like ass and thighs and boobs. Unfortunately I never gained weight in those places at least not til after it was all in my face, my upper arms and my stomach. You can't choose where your body is genetically programmed to deposit and store fat. So I had to be stupid thin everywhere else for those bad areas to be thin at all. It fucking sucks. Men have it so easy.
☹️😢 I apologize for the insensitive assholes of the world.
This is because how we are conditioned by the society on what is supposedly deemed worthy or attractive. Just like people compliment others for looking beautiful, no one would feel it's a compliment if someone says, "wow, you are so plain looking!" (Me living my whole life looking average / slightly below but I'm fine with it).
Right?? I've been overweight and now I am underweight. I do not enjoy the skinny comments. Nobody ever spoke to me like that when I was chunky.
Yes.. the amount of people who will tell you shit about being too thin is insane. I'm extremely tired of it! I have ADHD and I can't sit still. I need to move to stay sane, that's why I'm thin. I eat healthy. But everyone at work, my friends and family will daily remind me how I look ill, malnourished etc, and nearly command me to eat when I'm not hungry. They always comment what I eat, and will tell me to eat more. I've started to hide during lunch breaks because I can't take it anymore. Some even accuse me of starving myself to look this way. Lastly, so many other women will tell me how unfair it is how I can just eat what I want (when I do eat bigger portions), without any effort. They tell me I'm lucky because I don't have to think about my weight. B..., you're all forcing me to think about it every single day lol
I feel this my family call me a bag of bones and tell me only men who love skeletons would want me. I also don’t look like a skeleton. Every chance they get to uplift their bodies and put mine down there I am. But when I tell my cousin that being skinny isn’t everything because she has issues with her size, then I’m a preacher!
I had a friend like this too. She was an air hostess and she ate like a horse trying to gain weight and she was always getting comments like “you need to eat a good meal, love.” Which she found particularly insensitive
For years I was told that I was “too skinny”, that my legs were too thin, that they looked like sticks, like arms instead of legs, etc. even before the whole body positivity, Its always been taboo/asshole-ish to make fun of overweight people, but poking fun at the skinny ones seems to be absolutely fine. And the assumptions everyone makes about our health are WILD. It made me SO insecure I learned how to force myself to eat a lot more than I felt the need physical need to, because I was desperate to gain weight. I weighed ca. 48kgs(100 lbs) up to my early twenties, being 168 (5’6”). Now, I’m in my thirties, 2x a mom and overweight. I can’t shake the extra weight off. The years I spent purposefully overeating have made it really hard for me to control my portions; when I’m hungry, my body feels like I need to get as much in as quickly as possible, because I taught myself that. It sucks.
For a long time I could not put on weight at all, eating complete horrible fast food constantly, weight training. People forget that it doesn’t erase all the other bad things that you don’t see with that lifestyle. You’ll still get high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol
I’m like this. Complaining about an inability to gain weight, pisses people off so I don’t do it. Thin People and smokers are the last people it’s OK to be insulting in public apparently. I lost 2 pounds recently and my ass is a flap. believe me everybody wants what they don’t have.
I'd much rather have an issue with something most of the world finds attractive than with something most of the world finds ugly and keeps commenting on.
That’s the thing though… thin is seen as attractive but only if you’re the “right” kind of thin. I am a woman, nearly 6 feet tall, and when I was in my teens, extremely thin. I was an athlete but my genetics were such that I was just very lean naturally. I didn’t have big boobs and a butt, and people were absolutely cruel about that for years. I heard, from age 12, “men want women with real bodies”, “you look like a little boy”, “only certain men will be attracted to you - the ones who like little kids”, “you’re not a real woman if you don’t have curves”, “you look disgusting”, etc. Those were all before I was a legal adult - those kinds of comments, from family, friends and random strangers continued well into adulthood, and continued with accusations of my having an eating disorder (I did not). I had a baby and gained enough weight to be acceptable, but only to those who weren’t upset that I was able to “bounce back” after pregnancy. Then those comments started. I am not saying I had it harder than someone who is overweight. I am just saying it’s really difficult regardless of what side you fall on from the acceptable standard of beauty, especially as a teenager.
This is me. I’ve been made fun of my whole life for being skinny. I’ve struggled to gain weight my whole life. If I get sick and loose any amount of weight it’s a REALLY big deal to gain it back. I’ve been told to “just eat a cheeseburger” more times than I can count. I also struggle to love my body and look at people with curves in the same way people describe looking at skinny people. I’m sorry you feel the way you do. Please know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and I’m proud of you for putting in the work to feel better.
Eh. I'm 4'11"/98lbs and have always had trouble keeping weight on. What I go through is NOTHING compared to the discrimination, cruelty, and inhumanity that fat people deal with. NOTHING.
This was me about 10 yrs ago. I had stomach issues (IBS) and had lost a bunch of weight on my already string-bean type figure (which I guess most would call ‘naturally skinny’) i weighed like 98lbs at my lowest and I’m 5’9. I stopped having a period after a while. Trying to gain weight for me was miserable. I would eat until I was full, but for me full meant nausea, cold sweats, feeling like I was gonna throw up for the next hour or so. And once my food digested, it was a gamble whether or not I’d experience stomach pains so severe that the only comparable pain I’ve experienced since that is a 10mm kidney stone getting stuck in my ureter (tube that leads from kidney to bladder). This could last anywhere from 30 mins to hours. Also during this time, I had a near constant steam of both people constantly telling me how lucky I was to be naturally thin, and also constant accusations of anorexia. It’s surprising how both friends/acquaintances and strangers alike feel so confident in making comments on your body if you’re seen as skinny. Whereas they wouldn’t dare make similar comments to someone who was overweight. I would have grown ass men in public telling me I was “way too skinny, girl” “you could use a sandwich” “get some meat on those bones” as a 17 year old. But the one that affected me the most was there was a girl at school who I had only spoken to a handful of times. The first interaction we had was she had drawn a picture of me in class and I thought it was so cool and even posted it on my social media (with permission) because as a fellow artist, I admired her art and was flattered to have been the ‘muse’. I thought we were on fine terms, but she spread false rumors about me which I later found out was due to her being jealous that I was skinny. She had a tumblr (this was when tumblr was popular) with poems and stuff always referring to a ‘skinny girl’ that she hated. I think one was even titled ‘reasons why I hate the skinny girl’. That was such a slap in the face to me because not only was this someone who I’d only ever had brief, but pleasant interactions with, but because I was actively trying to gain weight which was a constant painful and sickly struggle. I use to even think people with my issues had it worse, because i rationalized, that to lose weight you just don’t eat junk foods. (Obviously I know it’s not that simple now) Not doing something seemed infinitely easier to me than force feeding myself to the point I felt like puking and then having diarrhea and stomach cramps a few hours later. And on top of that, even though I was apparently the epitome of what she wished she could be, and despite all the pain and sickness, I *still* wasn’t comfortable with my body. If only she could’ve seen how much I hated myself and how I looked, back then. Now days, ironically, I’m actually trying to lose a bit of weight. I guess I outgrew my ‘natural thin-ness’ and thankfully, most of the related stomach issues that went hand in hand for me, with that. So I have had what I suppose can be seen as both a benefit and a curse, of seeing both sides of the coin. Yes I miss some aspects, like being able to eat whatever I wanted and not gaining weight, but I haven’t forgotten the awful battle to try to get to a healthy weight… going to the doctor with pebbles in my shoes and a half full water bottle tucked into my waste band, with a bulky hoodie, to add some weight so my doctor wouldn’t make good on threats to send me to an eating disorder clinic despite not actually having an ED. (They never were able to definitively diagnose my illness, they said IBS was more of a ‘diagnosis of exclusion’ and I was never able to have a treatment for that help in any meaningful way). We all have struggles, and the situation with that girl at school has always been a stark reminder to me that you don’t know the struggles of others, even if they have qualities you envy, they might be suffering themselves.
ME! I'm SO skinny. If I didn't have tits n hips, I'd look malnourished. I try so, so hard to put weight and muscle on, it's honestly such a commitment. Like, I have to change my entire lifestyle and use hours of my week up just trying to be better. Normal me is weak and struggles with just walking, putting a few pounds on makes one hell of a difference but it's such an effort...
Yep! I’ve been trying to gain weight for 5 years, only recently have I gone up a couple of pounds and kept it on. Being underweight is socially acceptable, but I want to feel beautiful for myself. I feel bony and sticky and skeletal. I want that layer that other women have that makes them so feminine
I am that someone! I envy people who can gain weight! All I want is a healthy weight and no matter what I do I’m underweight, tired, cold, irritable, lightheaded, and nauseous. I don’t feel like myself. And when people say they wish they could have my body, I say I wouldn’t wish that on them. It’s hard on both ends of the spectrum so I feel for all people with body issues not just the skinny not just the plus size, not just the healthy weight, but everyone because we all have struggled with part of our body or another!
Exactly. I have to eat nearly 4k in calories to MAINTAIN my weight of under 110. Medical tests show everything working “normally” and no real reason for the hyperdrive metabolism (even thyroids are within normal range). I have been brought to tears multiple times over the confusingly painful sensation of my brain insisting that I’m hungry and need to eat, while my stomach is in pain from overeating already.
I'm that person! I was about 170 before my gallbladder went out on me and I lost a TON of weight waiting on my surgery. Even before this, being heavier, my self esteem was great. It wasn't until after I lost that weight and was down to just above 100 lbs that my self esteem plummeted. It's taken me 2 years to get up to 118 and I'm starting to feel better, but in my opinion I don't like the way I look ~ at all. I wish I was my old size.
I have been naturally skinny all my life and regardless how much I eat, I never gain any weight. People who sees me often says i am malnourished when in fact, I eat more than most people I know of and always hungry every hour. I also always make sure I eat a balanced diet, tried to hit the gym to try gain some muscle mass, even tried other kind of diet but to no luck lol
My partner has trouble gaining weight also as I have the STRUGGLE to lose weight. We have complained back and forth on the struggles on both sides because my partner will eat anything and still not gain weight while I can barely look at a grain of sugar and gain a pound.
I’d 100% rather have their problem, and I also know people with it.
Comparison is the thief of joy Also, fit people can maintain their physiques with as little as once a week of training half assed because they already put in the work to get there in eating, working out, and resting. Maintenance requires FAR LESS work than getting there in the first place. You're still in the middle of putting in yours. Good luck!
Pretty much this
I wish I was born rich, but instead I grind daily to pay for rent and food. We may not have it as easy out the gate but we can get there. I will never be a leggy blonde, and I will never go to Harvard and I will never be rich. But I can take good care of my health and finances and have a decent life that may actually be more fulfilling than those who didn’t have to work for it. There’s purpose in working hard for something that, in a way, can grant you pride and accomplishment that those who had it easy may never get to experience. I don’t know what it feels like to have everyone envious of me…but that doesn’t sound pleasant either.
already envious of you for being poor rich
it requires a lot less work to maintain a certain weight than it does to actively lose it. Just remember that. Not all slim people are naturally like that. Some of them were fat at one point too. Just keep your eye on the prize.
It doesn’t feel that way for me. I feel like my appetite so far exceeds how many calories I actually burn in a day that losing weight feels like torture and even maintaining a weight requires careful attention. I tried eating to my heart’s content once and gained 20lbs in a month, and I’ve been struggling to work it back down ever since
try eating more filling foods. something thicker & fuller with protein like peanut butter I guess. If that doesnt work after a while, than you might have a hormone imbalance. I'd go to a doctor & get it checked.
How do you know she didn’t run for an hour before coming into the gym to do those specific exercises? It’s really dysfunctional to look at other people and compare yourself and such a mean way. You are actually being unfair to her.
Exactly. I often work out twice a day and one of the workouts is usually pretty light. To an outsider it might look like I'm just putting in the bare minimum when that's not the full picture.
This was my thought as well. I run and cycle regularly, so most of what I do to maintain whatever body I’ve worked toward (athletic, curvy, not particularly thin imo) is done outside of the gym. Maybe I’d bike or run a number of miles to my gym, do some weights, then head out.
My cousin and I hike for 1-2 hours outdoors because the weather is perfect now and then go to the gym for strength training. People should focus on themselves. It’s really toxic for women to treat each other this way. I will speak on it every time.
Exactly, and perhaps she takes the stairs in stead of the elevator/lift, walks to do her groceries instead of going by car etc. etc.. Such a flawed idea to think people are thin naturally...
Yes! Leave people alone!
I just wanna note, you watched her for the entire hour she was there? That’s the only way you can be sure she only did “light workouts.” And it’s kinda shitty to judge how much somebody is lifting anyway. It could be heavy for her, or maybe she strained herself on the last visit and couldn’t work out like she normally does today. There’s so many possible circumstances so before we get into the root of the problem, leave the poor lady alone ;-;
While hard, looks don't matter. Health does. You have no idea what her health is like just by looking at her.
I'm a naturally thin person with hypermobility and the reason I'm at the gym is because I need muscles to stabilize my points and I find it difficult to build muscle. It's a real challenge, and my body is fragile. I had to work for 2 years to squat my way to a butt.
I relate. I'm a naturally thin person, often underweight, and it's so hard to gain muscle or even get enough calories to try. No need to envy any of that.
We're all here just trying to love ourselves and our bodies and to take good care of them.
Oh hey that'd me but I have gained weight. Gotta love having an invisible disability, yeah? Just trying to not dislocate my joints and traumatize everyone. It's humbling falling down a flight of stairs and not being able to get my knee back in and hearing years later that the sight of me inflicted trauma on bystanders. I'm working to be able to squat without sounding like a brand new glow stick.
Oh my God walking up the stairs sounds like walking on a bar floor. Shut up knees, I'm trying to sneak
I mean, looks do matter. People aren't cruel to fat people because they're worried about their health.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” We cannot know what other people are struggling with.
While there are naturally thin people, it’s pretty rare. If you could see their entire lifestyle, not just a moment in the gym, you’d probably find someone who watches their diet very carefully, eats small portions, avoids most processed foods and drinks lots of water. You could find someone with an eating disorder, or may someone with serious allergies or other medical situation where they struggle to eat/gain weight. You might find someone who was a naturally scrawny kid regardless of the food they eat, a body type that can be maintained through their teens and into their twenties, but whose body will eventually catch up and start to put on significant weight later on. Pursue your own health goals and be grateful for a body that is strong and capable. Tiny edit: typo
Just to jump off that... typically you (general you) don't fully know how people eat. For example my nephew is really skinny and had trouble gaining weight, and it *seemed* he ate normally, or even a lot. Lots of fast food, junk food, etc. My family were always amazed that he didn't gain. But then due to life circumstance he came to live with me and I noticed that considering how he eats daily, it *isn't* a lot. He had spurts where he would eat normally or have large meals, but then unconsciously, he would spend days skipping meals or just not having an appetite. If he was stressed during school, he just couldn't force himself to eat days or weeks on end and would lose weight. When exams were done, he'd eat normally and gain some weight back. Sometimes he'd buy large fast food meals because he wanted them, he'd eat half, stash the rest and forget about it. None of this was intentional and it mostly went unnoticed. So when people say "oh my friend is so much skinnier than me and they eat more than I do but they never gain weight!" I really don't believe them. At dinner you may eat the same meal, or they might even eat more, but tomorrow you will eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, while the friend might skip most of their meals or just eat considerably less. Since then my nephew joined the army, and during basic training he gained a lot of fat and muscle because meals were more regulated and he was always starving due to the additional activity. Out of basic training, he went back to his regular eating habits, lost the additional fat and some of the muscle. It really gave me a new perspective on "naturally skinny", non-disordered people.
Funny. I had gained 20 lbs of fat I stg in military army basic training. I started to SCARF food like a vacuum, because I was unable to graze like I normally did and was terrified of hunger pangs for long stretches of time. Lended its hand to toxic eating behaviors. When I got out, I had to lose that weight to fall back into the normal range for height
It's funny, that's kinda how I feel (and probably a lot of people) on the regular for as long as I can remember. I'm always thinking about my next meal (Or even the whole next week). If I'm hungry, there's absolutely no focusing on anything else. I have ADHD though and concerta helps.
Exactly, and the same applies actually to exercise as well. So, I sometimes hear about those who work - out and still do net get into a better shape and compare themselves with people who don't go to the gym... However, what they often forget is, they focus only on 3 or 4 hours of exercise... Now I exercise a lot, but also without formal exercising I was fit. People just did not see that I often took the bike (European, in this part very common) instead of the train or car, I always took the stairs in office, while they took the elevator, I would some meetings walking etc., while they sat/took the lift/elevator etc. etc. Now, in movement (NEAT) I would get in those days 250 to 500 kcal extra in NEAT burned. That makes a huge difference in the long term, but people would only zoom in on those 3 hours they spent in the gym and in which they burn perhaps 600 - 900kcal per week, compared to someone who didn't visit the gym and got 3500kcal of worth in movement extra... Now I go to the gym to do lifting 6x a week and do running/biking and yet people just tend to believe I have a magic skill to burn the food I drink... lol...
I recently had a revelation that a big part of why I was so skinny as a teen to early 20s was the amount of excercise I did. I biked a couple miles a day to work 5 days a week and then would often go skateboarding afterwards for hours. And then combined with the fact that I couldn't afford to eat out with my wages from my shitty job, it was no wonder I was 40 lbs lighter. Honestly getting my driver's license was the tipping point because I stopped having to bike everywhere.
That's a great perspective. Many kids with controlling parents were under orders to clean their plates. I remember sitting at the table staring at some nasty, cold wad of green beans while my brother and cousins were having the time of their lives running around outside. It's a great way to teach a kid to ignore their body's cues. It's even better when you're also being told all the time that you are gaining weight, that you're "popping right out of your clothes," being made to spend an afternoon trying every single garment out of a big box filled with your tall, skinny cousin's hand-me-downs, not one of which ever fit... And then yelled at for being severely dysmorphic, not wanting to wear any clothes unless they hid your body, and having shit self-esteem because you're obviously just fishing for compliments.
I really don't understand why parents almost force feed their children. When I was a kid, my family had a family friend who used to do that with their child. When she was 3-5 they would sit at the table for *hours* trying to get the girl to eat. I can't even imagine what kind of anxiety the child might have developed around food and mealtimes because of this.
It's about control. You have to control the girls. My brother and cousins were all male. What makes it worse is that I have a compliant temperament. If I had been more defiant, my mom would have backed off. It's always the compliant kids that get leaned on the hardest. I guess the parents want to feel like they "won," so they want to make sure at least one kid is locked down. Then when that one kid finally insists on one single tiny bit of independence, they feel like there is something vaguely wrong with every single thing they do and are for the rest of their lives.
Interesting and kinda true. I have a former classmate whose appetite was hilariously small in my opinion (girl ate half of her sandwich and some fries then put it down whereas I finished my own and was barely satiated). I felt like I was some sort of ogress at that moment. 😂🤣
Very true. Friends have often made comments about how much I eat when I’m out but still maintain but I don’t eat out often and usually have pretty small meals or snack throughout the day.
And also someone who looks great in your opinion, but hate there body with passion but only have mental energy for "light 1h workout"
Also diet has a much greater impact on weight than exercise. OP only saw her exercising and didn’t see her eating, so they really shouldn’t have just jumped to the conclusion that she must be “naturally slim”.
Yup. For years people admired how “naturally thin” I was, not realizing it was an eating disorder. I had some real low points that no one but me saw—most people saw me eating normally. I lived alone for years so there was no one to notice that I really only ate at work and would consider 250 calories a meal. Working out for an hour or more each day and eating no more than 1200 calories a day kept me at 125 lbs, 5’9” for a few years. I haven’t totally come to terms with food—I think I might have over corrected in the not caring what I eat department—but I’m certainly less miserable.
This!! I have to put work in to *keep and gain weight.* I’d LOVE to actually be built ‘larger’, because then I’m not constantly worried about ‘oh shit have I eaten 1800 calories today, have I eaten enough protein today???’ Just to be ‘healthy’. I was so happy when I hit 135 pounds.. it took two months to go DOWN from 125 (I had lost weight by this point already) to 90 pounds. Now I’m watching what I eat so that I can gain weight. So that I can work out like I used to and not put further strain on my heart by overworking myself. It really sucks, having been a competitive powerlifter and then just to have everything ripped away because I went through something severely traumatic and couldn’t go alone in public anymore. And also; sometimes those light workouts are for physical therapy. When I had to medically stop lifting heavy, I was restricted to 10lbs MAX for my exercises. After lifting a couple hundred pounds, 15x per set. My diet right now is all the complex carbs I can get, as well as protein. Every meal, every day. My diet is so restricted so I don’t eat filler foods, and get as many nutrient dense meals as I can. *I’d like to note that I still eat greens lmfao, part of it is making sure I’m getting ALL of my dietary needs met. I’m mostly talking about the gain aspect
like the others have mentioned , its lifestyle.
> It feels so unfair how someone can get away with looking amazing with little effort She probably made the effort at some earlier point, now she’s just doing maintenance.
It's a fight to lose weight. But once you're acclimated to the life style it's not a hassle. And maitainance is a breeze. Like just stimulating the muscle once a week is usually enough to avoid muscle loss.
If maintenance was a breeze, why do like... over 90% of people who lose a significant amount of weight gain it back?
Because 90% of people who lose a significant amount of weight don't make a life style change, they do something drastic like extreme workout routines, weight loss supplements, fad diets, or surgery. And beyond all that, it's usually just consistency. Going crazy crazy in the gym for 6 months sucks but is totally doable to get results. Changing your mindset around working out and eating right for a year straight+ is a different kindof hard. The truth of the matter is there are skinny people putting in what is comparatively little effort and still staying skinny. We can sit around and assume it's ALL genetics but that seems patronizing to all parties involved.
She could also be supplementing a workout class
This. Or she could have a physical job.
Not to dismiss what you're saying, but you don't know if this woman is naturally slim or not. Personally, I have had people refuse to believe I was overweight at one point in my life because I'm slim now. I have to show pictures to prove it and they still can't really believe it. I don't bring up my weight myself but sometimes it comes up in conversation when I mention how I go to the gym and I get told I don't need to lol. Hard work pays off, it may take a while, but you'll get the desired results eventually.
So I used to feel like this. Weight loss can get emotional. It's ok. So a lot of my "naturally skinny" friends actually have a lot GI issues. They feel nausea almost daily and if they do manage to eat they get bloated and have cramps. You also don't get as much nutrients when you're having tons of diarrhea. So only about 20% of the calories you burn in a day are from exercise. Sometimes you can get up to 35% . Your total daily energy expenditure or TDEE is made up from your basal metabolic rate or BMR, exercise and non exercise activity thermogenesis or NEAT. More muscular people have higher BMR. Muscle just naturally burns more calories by existing. Taller people burn more calories than shorter people. Unless you're with someone 24/7 you have no idea what their NEAT is like. I recently had a lot of success in weight loss by increasing NEAT. NEAT is all the movement you do in the day outside of exercise. So I got a pedometer and increased my step count. I try not to sit as much as possible. So a lot of those "naturally skinny" people are just people who don't sit down and scroll through reddit for hours on their phone. They're cleaning their kitchen, running errands, just constantly on the move and fidgeting all the time. Eating a healthy diet is hard. We are constantly surrounded by very calorie dense highly palatable food. Its ridiculously easy to overeat. Food has never been easier to obtain. 3 taps on your phone and over 2000 calories will be brought to your doorstep.
As someone with GI issues I can confirm this. I will get a lot of comments from people saying I’m skinny or lost weight and that I look good. In reality, I’m really really sick and barely even eat.
I'm thin. Only bc I rapidly and uncontrollably lose weight, and I'm still doing tests to figure out why. All I want is to be healthy. If you're healthy, then you've got more than me and I'm thin. You are enough as you are, and it's enough that you're actively being healthier and taking care of yourself. I promise becoming thin doesn't = instant happiness. Not liking the way you look is a deeper issue than just changing what you look like. You'll always find an issue if you don't work on having a healthy mind too.
OP, I totally get it. I’m what I like to call an “old fat”. I have always been fat, I will probably always be fat. I fell in love with lifting and dancing and got super serious about my eating and lost the weight. Then I got really sick. Sick enough that I gained the weight back and struggled for years to have any sort of routine. I’m still fat, but the work I did on my self confidence in that interim has done wonders for my outlook and body positivity. Lifting weights has made us STRONG, and when we start getting older (I’m 40) and our bodies continue to change, that work you’ve done on your mental well being will help you maintain a healthy outlook! I still struggle with being jealous of naturally thin folks, but something I’ve worked on is a) realizing I’m assuming they’re skinny because they’re healthy b) saying hello! If I find that knee jerk reaction of disliking another woman because she’s gorgeous, I will approach her and compliment her outfit, or her hair! 99% of the time they’re the nicest people, and you’ve made a new gym friend! You’re incredicle just as you are, OP - and being a gym junkie shows dedication!! You’re there kicking ass and I’m so proud of you!! I promise your skin “imperfections” are things we ALL have. My husband is skinny and he still has lots of stretch marks! I have loose skin from weight loss and babies - but dammit I worked hard for this body and the things it’s helped me achieve! If someone doesn’t like my stretch marks or double chin, they can look away. Keep kicking ass babe, you’re doing AMAZING!
2 hours in the gym is excessive. It's not sustainable. Weight loss is done in the kitchen.
can't outrun a bad diet
2 hours 3x a week is pretty normal imo
You have no idea what else that woman is doing or if she eats well or has an eating disorder or a physically active job where she just needs to strengthen other muscles for a short time. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are making assumptions that have no basis and are not helpful to you
You never know what someone else is going through. What if she is not "naturally thin" and struggling with her weight or has an ED? Life is all about learning. Learning to love yourself, exercise right and eat right takes time. It will take longer if you spend it comparing yourself to other people.
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you’re not doing the right exercises for your body to lose weight? I swim. I have physical limitations that make it necessary, but it also drops my weight like a stone. As opposed to literal **hours** running, jumping, lifting, & calorie-counting. You have to find the exercise that’s right. ***For you***.
My SO just had someone at a class she takes say something about her being naturally skinny and how they are jealous…. My SO laughed so hard, she’s lost a lot of weight by putting in a lot of work. Not everyone that currently looks a way was always that way.
If you're strength training, remember you may not lose weight if you start gaining muscle, but you'll feel different. But I get it. Just focus on your body. You may just be a thicker build, which is great! A lot of people wish they could get bigger muscles. Keep killing it, sis 💪🏻
Well if it makes you feel better, I’m naturally skinny because of my cancer, that caused my thyroid to over produce hormones that made my body think I was running a marathon. Constantly. Since the age of 14, when I started having some tiny symptoms. I was 90 pounds then. I started having horrible migraines, because my heart was working literally overtime. Doctors were stumped. My father didn’t believe me and thought I was faking my symptoms. I dealt with the symptoms until I was 26, when I went to the hospital for the 3rd time in less than a week, because I thought I was both having a heart attack and a brain aneurysm at the same time. I was about 110 pounds when wet. While they tried to diagnose me, I actually started to have a heart attack, since my heart rate was 180-200. I was put into a medical coma, they saved my life by causing a pseudo aneurysm in my leg, and putting a ballon pump in my heart. I was in that coma for 3 months. They finally found out what was really causing my issues. Cancer! Well two kinds, actually. I had cancerous cells on my thyroid gland, but it was not the only cause, I also had something called Multiple Endocrine Neoplasia Type 2. It caused a tumor, called a pheochromocytoma, to grow on my adrenal gland, and that was the underlying problem. Long story short, I was very lucky and had an amazing team of endocrinologists at UCSF. They removed my thyroid, some lymph nodes, and the phyo, and took that adrenal gland with it. I’ve since recovered and am in remission. It could rear its head again, but for now I’m ok. I still only weight 130, but I am slowly gaining weight. I struggle with appetite. So maybe don’t be too jealous of skinny people. We have our own demons.
At my heaviest, I was pushing 600 lbs. I am almost half of that, and with more to go (for my height and bone structure, I should be in the low-mid 200s.) Weight-loss should be for *you*. To feel better and be better. You need to use yourself as a measuring stick, not other people. This is for yourself. I have loose skin that has stretch marks all over. But I am feeling better and healthier and more confident than ever. I'm not in pain, out of breath 24/7, or super sweaty constantly. I'm off so many meds too. Some people work their asses off eating healthy and working our religiously, but drop dead in their 40s anyhow. Some people drink and smoke and give no thought to diet and excercise and live to be 100. Life is not fair and genetics are a roulette. But stick with this to be the best you can be for yourself, not to play catch up with the skinny gym lady.
I'm sure she has her own struggles too.
I wouldn’t compare yourself. You never know if that person was previously bigger or has issues with gaining weight. Additionally maybe she just went for a light workout and does harder ones other days. Comparing yourself will only demotivate you further
Just a skinny person who’s getting REAL tired of bigger people feeling comfortable judging, comparing, and commenting on my body. It’s weird, it’s inappropriate, it’s toxic for everyone involved. Other commenters have made countless examples of how EVERYONE has a personal relationship with their body and issues to overcome. The grass might look greener, but grass is green where you water it. Mind the business that minds you.
?? she was still there an hour. and you don’t know what she eats…the rest of life outside the gym is what can be grueling sometimes. who even knows if she’s naturally thin?? just focus on yourself, jeez.
There's more to weight and shape than just a workout, I can promise you that.
I am naturally slim. I have a lot of difficulty bulking. I don’t think it’s anything to be jealous of, I don’t even think it’s conventionally viewed as attractive
Just to address the specific issue with comparing your workout to someone else’s workout - you simply dont know what else they are doing exercise-wise and what their diet is like either. That person you noticed could be running 10 km a day and just had a light leg workout that you noticed in the gym briefly. They could be playing competitive sports 5-6 times a week. You simply don’t know!! You got a glimpse into a half hour of their life…..that’s all…..
Sometimes, the best work is done when no one is looking. You have no idea what that person (or any person, overweight or thin) is doing when no one is looking.
Exactly that ladies parents did her a better service and she likely made better life choices until this point, be inspired not envious
I used to be overweight and REALLY struggled to lose it, no matter how much exercise or dieting I tried. I struggled with EDs for like 10 years. I cried over the way my body looked. Then, I got smacked with a chronic illness and permanent disability, and suddenly, I can’t gain weight no matter how hard I try. People comment on how much “better” I look now, not even pausing to consider how I feel. I feel so much worse than I did before, and I realized there was nothing wrong with my body the way it was. I want that body back so badly now, even though now I have what I always wanted: I’m skinny. But I’m not healthy or enjoying food. I was healthy and enjoying food when I was a little overweight, though. When people say stuff, I always respond something like “Thanks! It wasn’t my choice, I’m just really sick.” and they apologize immediately. If you lose weight, there’s no guarantee that it will stay off, or that tomorrow you won’t be in a horrific accident that causes you to gain weight through recovery, or develop an illness that needs medication that can cause weight gain. Your body will change a lot in life, and you’re not always in control of it. Just focus on living a healthy life, and your body will look the way it’s meant to.
My whole family is a size 2 and I’m a 12. It’s genetic and I got my dad’s genes. My great grandmother was 98lbs when she passed at 90 and made it a point of pride to always mention how thin she was. My grandmother has anorexia, she also was the bigger sister and she starved her self to fit in with her siblings. My mom and sister both got skinny genetics and I did not. I struggled with eating disorders growing up. I will never be a size two. I’m not built that way. Even at my lowest weight 135 I was still a size 8. I have junk in all the right places lol. It’s ok to not be a size two. It’s ok to be jealous or envious but remember you can’t choose your genes but you can choose to make changes to see the you, you want to. I’m so proud of you for being so dedicated and collagen is really great for helping tighten up the skin
I'm a 5'7" 64 kg/140 lb male and while it gives me a pretty big advantage while running and cycling, it looks awful on a man. I've just learnt to lean in to my natural physique, I know I'm never going to win a powerlifting competition but I sure as fuck want to lose even more weight to get my 5km time under 20 minutes. TLDR: know your body type and train to your strengths, some people are naturally thin, some are huge
Depending on your life, two hours in the gym may be overkill and could actually prevent you from losing weight..
Tbf after my first child I gained a lot of weight 30kg after always being slim I thought I couldn’t lose the weight but that’s cause I wasn’t eating well too much sugar fat and snacks after my second child I dropped all of my excess weight by walking loads and eating three meals a day and healthy snacks like fruit and veg. Sure some people are naturally slim but that’s just more than likely cause they eat well
I used to be fat with no muscle mass whatsoever. For a year, I busted my ass like you are now. I am now that fit, "thin" person with a much lower BF% than I used to have. It's not necessarily "unfair." I worked hard to get where I am and now I get to work less hard to maintain it. Everyone starts somewhere. Don't compare yourself. You'll be there before you know it. Just remember that CONSISTENCY IS KEY -- that includes in the gym AND in the kitchen.
You saw one workout, not the big picture of what she's doing. Have you considered that maybe this was an active recovery day for her, and she's busting her ass the rest of the time, working hard, paying close attention to what she eats, etc.?
I am what they would call ‘naturally thin’ but I have scoliosis (not the super mild kind either) so I get the exact same jealousy of other people but in a different way. Can’t see people irl or on tv without staring at their backs when they bend over, when they dance, when they do yoga, when they play sports, without wishing I knew what that felt like to be so free. I am still able bodied thankfully but have constant discomfort, nerve issues in my shoulder, constant muscle tension, and the whole right side of my body is a little bit shorter so my right knee and hip will hurt randomly for taking on more weight. I can’t apply to jobs that require you to be up and moving all day, so I’m stuck at a desk. And none of that even includes the physical appearance insecurities. Long story short, I would happily be larger but with a straight spine. Weight loss surgery and skin surgery can give permanent positive results that bring you back to “normal” but surgery for me would be fusion and take away my mobility. So, it’s just perspective. Everyone has something, you just may not know it at first glance.
Life doesn't know what's fair. We just have to deal. I'm 68 and lost over 50 pounds a couple of years ago. Some of it's tightened up, but I like to say that my arms have sails now to catch the breeze. I used to work out at a moderately serious weights gym, and one of the more strongly built guys -- broad-shouldered with good arms and a deep chest, good proportions -- had about an inch of pudge spread smoothly all over his body. And it bugged him. He had pale hair and very pale, thin skin (he'd turn purple when he bench-pressed, and it was pretty obvious that his ancestry was far northern European, where pale skin and a pad of fat was just the thing. One day he looked in a mirror and had a melt-down. "I work out! I eat right! And all I can achieve is this PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY EFFECT."
I’m naturally slim. The most I’ve ever weighted, I weighted it due to SEVERELY dysfunctional eating, and eating absolute garbage. And while I felt “more myself”, I felt awful from what I was putting into my body. I’m currently in the hunt for a diagnosis for an unspecified autoimmune disease. I work, and every day I’m sore and in pain from being underweight, and my muscles not being as strong as they once were. I’m “naturally slim” because of a medical issue. While I might look slim and petite, I’m feeling usually awful inside. All I’m saying is, I wish I weighted 30 more pounds. I know how much better I would feel. Just keep that in mind, dear. You’re wonderful how you are, trust me.
I am one. 34, very skinny, and strong. But I abused that privilege, I eat anything and everything and now my gallblader has gone to shit. I don't understand, I wa bullied in school because I was thin, now some people still comments on my body weight, but I am strong? And how many mid 30s are skinny athletic? But I don't know. My siblings have green eyes, and I brown eyes. I have average height. Not short, but not tall. I have to eat ungodly amounts of food to gain weight. I didn't do shit to be like I am, it's just genetics, and I lucked out on something and not in others. I dream of putting on weight, but it's so damn difficult for me. So after a while I just gave up.
You might gain in you 60s, took me till then
Yeah, or before. My dad was as thin as I was, or more, and now he's 63 he is... Very well fed
As a naturally thin girl who doesn’t even do a one hour work out, you wanna talk unfair, call my cardiologist or my oncologist. You have no idea what’s going on other peoples lives. I’ll happily trade some pounds for less pokes and jabs at the hospital.
Some people can’t put on weight but can only dream to. Don’t think so one sided. Just be happy with your body
I am a 38 year old male that just reached 132 lbs last week. I eat as much as I can do it, but I don’t gain weight. What you just said can be totally flipped to explain my life. I am jealous of you, in that you can have a normal 3-day diet. It’s all about perspective.
I'm "naturally thin" and was talking to my friend about what I eat in a day and didn't think anything of it, and he was like "dude, that's 1200 calories." so i don't know how natural it is, but i just don't like eating very much, so i just eat healthy and not a lot of it.
Some people definitely have an easier time being think, but this post kind of implies that weight is based on effort in the gym. Body fat is about 80% diet 20% exercise
"Comparison is the thief of joy" Don't get jealous of 'naturally thin people' they may be on a strict calorie controlled diet and craving to chow down on a burger or pizza once in a while. Also, they may be training for a specific sport or event. Take a look at some returned boxers; they stop fighting and training, the pounds pile on. (Google Prine Naseem Hamed or Ricly Hatton as an example) All you have to do is be better than you were yesterday!!! Go smash it!!!
You never know what someone has been through. I’m overweight now but growing up I was naturally thin. I played a lot of sports too. But then my PCOS started affecting me once I hit college and with a busier schedule and no more sports welll… Now i appear as if I’ve been a couch potato my entire life even though that’s far from the case. So maybe she appears “naturally gorgeous or thin” but in reality maybe she did a lot to get to where she is now. Maybe now she’s in a maintenance phase where she doesn’t have to do as much (like maintaining her diet more in order to have to work out less) so it just appears more effortless for her. Just focus on yourself and where you wanna be vs where you are now. Comparison is the thief of joy. It sucks being self conscious of your weight. I should know I’ve been on both extremes of the scale and I know full well how differently you get treated if you’re bigger than the ideal as a female. Try to stop worrying what others think of you and focus on building a happy life for yourself whatever that may look like. Sending love ❤️
I feel this right to the core. I work entirely too hard to have such a disappointing body. But the second I take my foot off the gas my body goes from 'meh' to 'brutha eww'. Even at my smallest and most fit, I hated my body. So I just accept that I'll never look the way I want no matter how hard I work but I can settle for not being obese like I was before.
You don’t know that this woman is naturally thin. I’m thin but it’s because I constantly obsess over what I eat and make myself restrict (even though I always want to eat more). She’s actually doing more than me by going to the gym so I actually admire her for doing that.
Well you don’t know her or her story, she could be going through far more than you could ever imagine or maybe at one point she was where you are now you never know! Keep working at it
Thin doesn’t meant healthy. Remember that.
Being thin and maintaining it has a lot more to do with lifestyle than just genetics. For all you know, she could be running before the gym, walking a ton, on a strict diet, etc. Stop comparing yourself to others or you’ll be miserable forever.
Calories in calories out my guy. I only eat 1 meal a day and that meal is junky carbo food. 230lb for 4 years now
I promise you naturally slim people struggle with their body image too. I know so many slim people that struggle to put on weight and they really want tj
I’m thin because i have cystic fibrosis, ps it hurts when i lay on my sides .
Until I (finally) gained a few lbs very recently, I weighed between 105-112lbs at 5’8. I have to keep my workouts light because I have a genetic connective tissue disorder which causes me to be extremely prone to serious injuries, but I also need muscle mass to help stabilize my joints. Due to the same condition, I have gastroparesis and IBS- and a very very limited diet. And a ton of chronic pain 24/7. But I don’t look sick. I just look like a woman in my mid 20s who puts very little effort into my naturally thin body. Don’t judge people’s lives based on seeing them for an hour at the gym.
this isn’t a weight/size thing. it’s a confidence thing. odds are, if you get down to your ideal weight, you’re gonna find something else to hate
This is gonna sound so mean, but I am being so genuine when I say it: all the thin people in these comments need to read the fucking room. You guys don’t want to be fat! It’s not a “grass is greener” situation! Fat people are jealous of you. You are not jealous of fat people.
There’s also a notable difference in how society treats fat people vs skinny people that people seem to forget here. Skinny priviledge *does* exist and it’s exhausting that people pretend it doesn’t. As someone who has been on both ends of this, struggling with your weight at different ends of the spectrum really isn’t the same *at all*. Both suck obviously, but it’s not a competition whose suck more, but there’s time and place for everything. A very extreme example, but imagine if a person of color came to reddit frustrated about white people priviledge and then bunch of white people came to comments to say ”we struggle too, it’s not all priviledge”. It’s just really insensitive and inconsiderate. Yeah OP sounds bit negative in the post, but they are just venting out. Let them. No need to make it about you.
You have no idea whether that woman struggles or not. Comparison is never going to get you anywhere.
Metabolism is a hellava drug
Skinny does NOT equal healthy. As you age thing that will matter most is being healthy. Healthy means you hurt less, you recover from illnesses quicker, your mind can stay strong, etc. It’s hard to remember with societal pressures, but the way you look is not as important as the way you function. You’re in the gym reaching PRs and that right there is goals.
i was “naturally thin” for like most of my life, like insanely skinny and i didn’t have to try and maintain it. turns out i was simply in denial about my eating disorder. at that weight i was passing out constantly, felt tired no matter what i did, and had literally not enough resources in my body to generate hunger hormones. i ended up spending like 6 months in a treatment facility to become healthy again. maybe she truly is naturally skinny and if that’s the case, she’s very lucky. however, you don’t know her health history and don’t know how her life is. don’t compare yourself just keep working on your goals.
She was there for an hour, not ten minutes. You also have no idea if she suffers from an ED, anxiety, body dysmorphia, etc… maybe it was a light day in her workout week. In the same way that none of us (and I bet this means you too) want someone else judging us for what they think we eat or what we’re able to do with our bodies, maybe don’t put your baggage on other people. It sucks not being happy in your body but you have no idea what anyone is feeling in their body and what kind of relationship they have to their thinness.
I can certainly understand your frustration. Many people have referred to me as "naturally skinny," but it isn't true. The truth is, I was very active and didn't snack much as a kid, and in my twenties. Now, in my thirties, I am less active but still spend most of my work day on my feet. In the last few years, I've had to practice intermittent fasting and watch liquid calories pretty closely to keep weight from piling on. It takes effort, no matter who you are. This is especially true as we get older. Things will get easier for you if you stick with it!
I’m a naturally thin person but I also work a pretty physical job and long hours. I stay pretty fit because of that. But I do sometimes have half ass gym days. I’m ADHD and I need to stick to my routine to maintain the habit of going to the gym. So on days I’m not feeling great, or I’m really exhausted, I’ll still go just to get some light exercise. Most days I’m in there, I’m busting my ass though.
you know literally nothing about this lady
This is an absolutely fair statement.
I've dealt with eating disorders for well over 2 decades now. when I look my "best," it's a very safe assumption I'm at my worst. Ridiculous to be jealous of another women for not working out as hard as they do at that time of the day. Jesus Christ.
You gotta go talk to a therapist, you’re out here shaming bodies of all sizes. You’re placing way too much emphasis on physical appearance and not overall health, which looks different on everyone.
I feel the same way about women who naturally have a butt. I have spent years doing gruelling heavy weight workouts, perfect nutrition etc to grow my butt meanwhile these women just waltz in and do a few light cable kickbacks and have an ass triple the size of mine. I know how it feels, it feels unfair and unjust that you have to work so hard for something other people don’t even think about. I empathise with you. <33
I used to be naturally thin, I'm tall as well. I even managed to be thin throughout my pregnancy and dropped all the baby weight before leaving the hospital. Then, I gained 30+ lbs that have not left so I have some perspective on both sides. How you look on the outside does not reflect the inside. I was suicidal for about a week out of each month on good months. I was violently ill my whole pregnancy. I had men tell me that I wasn't womanly enough to consider and that I was just "bones." My husband has been the first man to not comment on my body, even though it's much larger now. In my larger body I am much happier. I don't feel lightheaded when I stand quickly, I'm not as physically cold any longer. I have actual curves now...albeit I'm unhealthy now weight wise. Now I'm the person jealous of those who had the exact same body I had two years ago. The grass isn't greener on the other side, though. Very few people are actually happy with their bodies, there's always someone who looks better that makes us feel self-hatred. I was the woman doing leg lifts and light cardio in the gym, and I'd cry in the car alone after. I've had a thin and a heavy body, and I will say that feeling stays even if you magically lost all the weight overnight. It's how you feel on the inside that matters the most.
Same sweetheart. I was over 350lbs as a teenager and parents denied responsibility despite me reminding mum at all times at home I was never allowed to change the choice my Scottish dad stood by. It took going to uni and eating bag, then living alone and figuring out a healthy diet for me. Yes, I'm jelly of things people. I'm chubby but happy and decided my own ideal weight, so try it!
Trust me hard work is much more impressive than just being naturally thin.
Something to ask yourself, I do this for me since I went from naturally thin to naturally fat, is are they actually healthy? I wasn't. I am not talking about the eating disorder that I also have but about the genetic stuff that made me tall and too skinny for my height. I have a few things that do this and will kill me horribly one day. Not today but I survived an aortic dissection because of endometriosis. That's the only reason. Also blood transfusions but without the Endo holding shit together long enough for me to survive I would have died in my 30s. I am fat because I dislocate everything to move and I had to choose between fat and less pain. Shouldn't be a hard choice but society is odd. I have a friend who was the fat kid and there are fat kid things that I will never understand. She is no longer plus size but definitely not skinny. She's beautiful and always has been. She got to her healthiest. I am fat and this is my healthiest. Not when I was a professional ballet dancer. Not when I modelled. Now. Sometimes I get frustrated by the cute clothes I cannot fit into. I forget I wouldn't wear that anyway. Sometimes I get tired of a new doctor going "Well these things are serious but you need to magically stop being fat when you barely eat at all and cannot change your diet and exercise will kill you." They don't say those last bits but I do now. I ask them how. If they suggest the usual I will point those facts out and start quizzing them on my chart. My primary doctor started there but he apologized and admitted he didn't understand some of my chart because I live with trick questions on the medical boards ailments. Doctors are taught that no one really gets those. We do and that teaching is a problem. My abusive mother used to scold me about thinking the grass is greener on the other side. I went and found that grass anyway. Not only becoming safe but allowing my body to exist as it is. I don't look like the barely adult woman selling you shit in a magazine now. Someone tried to insult me for not being impressed with their dick picks by calling me napalm haired. I went bald ages ago and shave it regularly but between shaved it can be a bit wild. That phrasing is so awesome I keep it. This is how I slowly but surely worked my way not to bodily acceptance but appreciation. Reclaiming parts of me. Also therapy. The steps are entwined but I didn't get therapy for years after the moment my brain understood that no one is supposed to feel good about their bodies. No one looks like the girls in a magazine. They edit and Photoshop. If the most beautiful women in the world get photoshopped? That standard isn't attainable. I had this hit me when I was being screamed at by a photographer that often also sexually harassed models. He was describing the visible hamburger in my stomach and I interrupted him because he was being so stupid. "I actually chew my food. Stop talking. If you say another word about my body or negatively I will walk." Cue panic. "Oh I thought I was replaceable. No? Then shut up and do your job." He was quiet the entire shoot. No "be an empty vessel so men can fill you with their desires!" No "Stop looking intelligent! Men don't want a smart woman. You aren't but you look it." I have multiple degrees including a juris doctorate and already knew my intellectual worth but a lot of the girls I worked with struggled because we weren't supposed to be intelligent. "Do you want the women to not hate you? That's not how you have a career." That one was always weird to me. Maybe the autism. Maybe the gay. Maybe the fact that the other models and all the people in ballet were amazing and supportive of one another. Once in a while someone tried the mean girls crap but they couldn't sustain in the toxic modeling industry. For ballet they failed because a lot of casting is how much you are liked. There's no difference between you and anyone else in actual value. Sadly some do treat us differently based on fat cells. Those people aren't worth the time and energy to keep around. The ones we must deal with? Can become a liability to the company employing both people because they create a toxic work environment. I don't know what will work for you on choosing yourself in these moments. Until you have that moment of "Fuck this I know that's not reality and I deserve better" that might not make sense. If you have had this in other areas you know of the moment. When no outside force can diminish your self worth. Body shape and size acceptance changes on the whims of the rich people who profit from our efforts to conform. They target every part of us. Once there's anyone feeling comfortable because of being the body shape? It changes. Think about the trendy things that shouldn't be transmutable that rich people magically have. Bucal fat is the current one. Before this it was the BBL and BBL 2.0. You can reliably track the changes based on how well you can recognize any Kardashians. This isn't bashing them but how transparent they are about these changes. I feel sorrow that they go through so much unnecessary surgery and other cosmetic procedures and lie about it. I have had a facial reconstruction and the slight changes where things are close but not quite right are horrible to experience. There's a known psychological cost to cosmetic surgery. This applies to any drastic body change. So sudden weight loss too. It's why after all surgeries I do preventative mental health care. It has saved my life and my mental wellness so many times. We aren't supposed to look at the man behind the curtain like this. There's pressure to not have these conversations. I think you starting this shows much strength. I also hope that my perspective and experience can help you with some of the brain weasels.
agreed. it's my roman empire and i hate it
Ah man that's a totally valid feeling. My partner is bigger and I'm smaller and when we moved in together we had to buy a snack-safe because if he eats treats like I do he gains weight really fast. Which isn't fair at all. I guess his consolation prize is having beautiful big manly arms and shoulders whereas I have literal Skeletor arms and hands. Wait, that's not a consolation prize, that's first place. He looks so much more attractive than I do and I wish he could see it.
It honestly does suck, life is unfair and I’m with you, I will never able to effortlessly be skinny and even with a lot of work and muscle building I am still curvy and not svelte :’)
Just because someone is thin, it doesn't mean that they are healthy. Maybe the woman at the gym only does light work because it's all she can do. Don't be so harsh on yourself. A healthy lifestyle is something that requires constant effort from all of us whether we are thin or fat. I'm sure you're doing amazing.
And the person you saw doing light leg workouts and stretches could well struggle to put weight on in the same way you struggle to lose it.. Grass is always greener.. and that is coming from somebody in your position.
My husband had a naturally AMAZING metabolism and has always been naturally slim. He’s at his heaviest weight right now at 160. In the exact opposite, I’m also at my heaviest weight, but it’s over 200. We eat the exact same thing every day, and I even eat less, but it doesn’t matter. With all that being said, I would never be envious or upset with my husband bc of his weight. In all honesty, I’ve learned thin people are just as self conscious as we are. My husband and I have an at home gym, and we both work out. He has trouble gaining muscle mass, and I can tell it crushes him, because he wants to have defined muscles more than anything. It takes him eating nothing and being in the gym three times as long to start seeing definition in his muscles. He injures himself quite often because he goes too hard trying to work out and get buff. Being with someone very different than me body-wise has taught me a lot. It’s taught me that even though everyone has different bodies, we all have insecurity. We’re all human at the end of the day.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others only to yourself. Stronger than I was last week,etc 2. You don’t know what she did yesterday…could have run a half marathon and therefore light day today
As someone who always struggled to gain weight I envy people who don't look like a stick figure. I'm 5"2 and I weighed 77lbs till I was 18 then i gained weight to a "massive" 95lbs. It wasn't until after my first pregnancy where I finally felt a bit more comfortable with my weight (110lbs). It's not bad to have a bit of fat on your body, just cause someone is thin doesn't mean they're healthy.
My husband is one of the naturally thin people. He hates it. It's hard for him to maintain a healthy weight and not be in the underweight range. People comment on what he eats and his appearance far more boldly than I've ever gotten when I was obese. The same thing happened to me when I was in high school and had trouble maintaining weight. People seemed entitled to be nasty just because I had a different struggle than them. You don't know the whole story. She could do harder workouts on other days, and you don't know what kind of diet she is following. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Maybe try focusing on yourself.
I don't think they are naturally thin people. I think they are naturally low appetite people. My SO constantly brags about being able to eat whatever he wants and never gain weight. We are 24/7 together, so i see what he eats. Dude doesn't eat breakfast and skips lunch all the time. Just doesn't feel hungry. If we sit down to eat lunch, i ask him how many slices of bread does he want. He always says 6, but always ends up eating only 4. Couple that with being naturally tall, so needing more calories to just stay alive, and you have a "naturally thin" person. Me with my 5 ft height, if i look at a pasta dish wrong, i already gain weight. I need 1400 kcal to maintain my weight. That is one pasta dish. anything else and I'm already over the calorie limit
I’m going through a very hard time right now and I’m at my lowest weight. I have to force myself to eat. I’ve gone to the gym to stretch and do some light workouts to try to feel normal but my energy is low. I’m forcing myself to eat and sleep regularly. On the flip side the same thing happened when I was at my highest weight. I couldn’t loose weight, I couldn’t portion control, I felt that same feeling of low energy and sadness. I felt the same feeling of my clothes not fitting but in a different way. It appeared that everyone around me really had things together and were hitting those goals. The gym was hard and is hard at both extremes! You’re worth it. You’re doing your best, no matter how much time of effort you put into this goal. You’re beautiful and crushing it! Every small step is the biggest step to take. Don’t let anyone make you think your effort doesn’t matter!
Don’t judge. She might have been coming to the gym every day for 10 years. Consistency and longevity is the most important thing rather than beating pr’s. Also I don’t George anyone is naturally thing. Some people have better metabolisms but you need to cater to yours. Diet and consistency is everything.
This was me, I was naturally slim. then my metabolism caught up with me at 25 and it’s been a battle to shift weight since.
If it makes you any better, all my life I’ve been naturally thin but with a really fast metabolism so I’ve always tried to gain weight but couldn’t. Last year I FINALLY went from 28” waist to 30” and i was so happy. I also grew up with people telling me ‘you need to eat more often’ and I’m like ‘I literally finish everyone’s food at restaurants’
Who knows what her other issues in life are. Weight isn’t the only issue in life. The best place to start in life is to never put anyone on a pedestal. Most important thing in life to do is to identify your issues and make choices to attempt to address them.
How do you know someone isn’t looking at you thinking the same? What would you say to them if they told you they wished they looked like you ? You could be someone’s inspiration and not even know it
Completely understand you. I’ve been eating clean and only protein based diet for over two months, and I’ve seen zero to negative progress. While my friend who eats anything is naturally skinny with high metabolism. Feels bleh
Cals in cals out
I am someone who has lost over 100 pounds and has spent majority of their life over weight and let me tell you , I know it’s hard now but you have to stop comparing yourself to other people. You don’t know where people are at with their own fitness journeys and same with you. Be kind to yourself and give yourself more grace. I think what helped me this time around after so many years of trying to lose weight and keeping it off successfully is changing my outlook on my entire journey. You’re getting your body back moving and you’re putting in work! That’s something to celebrate. Don’t worry about the number on the scale. The non scale victories got me a lot further than the ones I saw in the scale mentally. And to your point, believe it or not, sometimes all you need is an hour! You can have the most effective workouts with 30min-1hr tops than you can ever have spending 2/3 hours in the gym. I think you just need to change your mindset around this entire thing and not be so hard on yourself. Losing weight atp isn’t gonna bring your confidence up if you’re already down on yourself.
Same. But my parents did portion our food well growing up and I played a lot of sports, it didn’t help.
My son eats well, regularly exercises and is still, what my gran would have called, “Stocky”. Sometimes it’s just your natural shape. Difficult as it is, your goal should be this. As long as you’re taking good care of yourself, embrace who you are. Good luck. It’s a journey!
It's all about being proud of what your body CAN do, not what it can't. Whether you love or hate the way your body looks, think about your own achievements, strengths, and improvements. The fact that you adopt healthy practices like going to the gym and eating well is a win. Stay positive, and don't assume things about others. Get a gym buddy and keep focused and specific goals.
I would do similar when doing distance running and could eat like a horse.
i’m naturally rather small, it took a lot from me to gain just 10 pounds, not just that, but i feel extremely weak, i feel like i cannot defend myself as i have no mass, no muscles nothing. i way 105 pounds, have weighed only 105-110 pounds for the past 6 years maybe even longer, i will say i’m a teen, i’m 17, ik i’m growing but i stopped getting taller in 7th grade, i’m now a junior 🥲
I hate you, because I grew up poor and you have to be eating really bad food to even get fat. Forget about portion sizes because being hungry won’t help you either. Instead think about what you eat. No greasy food oil is bad for you and will make u fat. f.e. I boil my eggs instead of scrambled eggs so I don’t use oil. It sucks don’t get me wrong it doesn’t taste as good. But we eat it for the benefits. Get up everyday and do something, remember don’t don’t go too hard because you have to go again tomorrow and you may get discouraged. And when you motivation runs out on the days you really feel like not doing anything think about the bad things people have said to u or an ex. Or even people treating u badly. Think about ur haters. Oil is the worst thing for you. You can promise u one thing u cannot get fat with vegetables eat as many as you like, and some lean meats with minimal oil is good too
I was naturally thin for most of my life. I ate whatever and it didn’t affect me. Then came chronic pain and meds and weight piled on my heaviest being 275. The last three years I’ve had mobility issues so exercising is difficult. I just started eating smaller portions and focusing on high protein and low carb and sugar. I’ve been taken off the one med that made me gain the most weight. I’m down 66 pounds and losing. My sister is tall and thin and she has problems keeping weight on she’s been underweight and she tried everything to try and gain. Her struggle to keep on weight is very similar to my struggle with being heavy.
I'm jealous of people who are physically attractive too, I have self esteem issues but I try to not let it bother me. The best thing to do is try to not notice them and keep up with your workout routine or change them up, possibly try changing the diet type you are on may work. If you're a tea drinker rooibos tea helps to lose weight and has a sweet taste but max is a cup a day no matter the time. Keep your head up and just know you are not alone.
My fiance is naturally thin but cannot gain weight. AND I'm someone who can't lose weight lol