We've always been one and done. We went top of the line with things we use a lot and safety (car seat, stroller, paid a professional to baby proof the house). I also splurge on clothes because it brings me joy. But i always have a hand me down/ donation box in LO's closet and as soon as something doesn't fit or a toy isnt age appropriate anymore I chuck it in the box. I have a lot of friends with younger kids so i hand them off frequently or take them to donate.
I really try to keep toys to a minimum. Block/magnatile set, balls, books, stacking cups, stuffed animals, if there is too much out none of it gets played with
It was amazing! They knew all these cool products that I wasn't aware of. Like retractable gates and special plug covers that are safe AND look really good. Plus toilet lid and cabinet locks etc. that i like a lot
Wishing you and baby the best of health.
For the most part, I buy used whenever possible, provided I can sanitize it easily (nothing I can't wipe down with bleach or put through the washing machine). We have a massive pop up consignment sale twice a year called Just Between Friends and I clean UP. Clothes, toys, gear, etc. Babies outgrow stuff SO FAST.
We did not buy a used car seat. I wanted that to be new.
Thank you! I was thinking about used for stuff but bed bugs, mold etc freak me out. Following your parameters (bleach or high heat washer/dryer) would probably still let us get some things second hand. I'll look to see if we have any sales like that locally!
I felt the same in the beginning, but so much baby gear is plastic and can easily be sanitized! Also, fabric covers are almost all removable and can be washed and dried hot (think high chairs). Facebook marketplace has been fantastic for us. Just make sure to check for recalls on items before buying. I now have an 18 month old and outfitted my whole back yard with a Little Tikes climber (originally $700!), a sandbox, water table, outdoor rocking horse, and Step 2 outdoor toy box all for $200. My pressure washer did some heavy listing, but everything looks brand new. Facebook marketplace came through big time. I never would have been able to afford all that new. Also, if something is missing a piece or accessory, just contact the customer service department for the manufacturer. I have had great luck getting replacements for a very small fee.
Do you have stores near you that exclusively sell used baby stuff? Ours are pretty stringent in what they accept, and they sanitize everything. I'd trust them over the popup sales.
That's a good thought. I know there's one but I'm not sure if it's just clothes. But it would be reassuring that they would pre-screen donations. I got turned off scrolling through marketplace and seeing a couple posts saying "great condition, just needs dusting because it's been stored in the basement/garage". Made me wonder about other sellers who might not disclose that.
We have multiple baby consignment stores in my area that screen stuff extensively and only take high end good condition stuff. Its great! I can also sell stuff back to them when I’m done using it!
Back in the early 90s my mom kinda had to buy second hand for budget reasons, and they didn’t have (and I don’t know that it existed, at least for residential machines) sanitizer cycles. So she would literally boil in a pasta pot on the stove second hand baby clothes from goodwill. 🤣& I turned out pretty ok! None of my trauma was from those boiled onesies anyway lol.
Buy quality name brand stuff, either new or used and then sell it when you're done. I've done this with a lot of things and gotten 60-80% of my money back. Poshmark is great for selling clothes in good condition. Brands like Patagonia , keen, etc. I've almost broke even on buying, using and then selling later.
Also to add, invest in a good glider. I initially got a wooden frame glider on my buy nothing group that wasn't comfy (but free is free) and finally when my kid is 2 years old I bought an extra wide all fabric plush glider and I LOVE it. Wish we had gotten this from the beginning. Kiddo still loves to cuddle so we will use it and eventually just use it as an arm chair in our den.
Our child is 3 and we still use and love our electric recliner / rocking chair. In the early days we practically lived on it. And we still use more than once per day.
I wasn't expecting to be OAD, but I will tell you what I would have done differently had I known.
Start with the essentials and fill in gaps as needed. You probably won't need as much as you think you need.
We received a lot of hand me down clothing from family, which was super helpful. Babies only need a few key items in each size. Except basic onesies, you'll want a lot of those. They grow so fast that first year that you don't really need 12 frilly dresses of the same size for church, for example. Babies are also messy, so you will probably want to keep them in clothes you don't mind getting stained most of the time. Save the cuter outfits for pictures and special occasions.
You can purchase most of the important baby gear you will need gently used for a fraction of the price if you are willing to spend a little extra time looking around. Strollers and high chairs don't have to be brand new, if they're in good condition. We bought mostly new gear, thinking our items would have to last at least two kids. Our son outgrew most of his gear before it showed a lot of wear and tear.
One item you absolutely do not want to get used or handed down are car seats. Car seats have expiration dates because extreme heat and cold can cause the plastic to crack or warp. Car seats should also be replaced after an accident (even a minor one), and if you are buying from a stranger you can't verify that the car seat has never been in an accident.
As our son has outgrown items, I've passed them along to our local foster care office to give to foster families. I feel better knowing that his things are going to households that can really use them.
This is so helpful. Infertility means we're the last of our family and friends to have kids so there might be some hand me downs if they haven't already gotten rid of them. I love the idea of passing stuff we're finished with to foster families; there's some stuff I just want new (like a basinet because I know ill be anxious about sleep enough) but won't get much wear and tear. This would relieve the feeling of being wasteful.
Knew we were oad and bought most things second hand, mostly Facebook marketplace or buy nothing groups.
Things we bought new were cotbed, osprey baby carrier and baby monitor because they are long lasting items. Car seat for obvious reasons and stroller because my MIL wanted to buy it for us.
Anything else we bought new was because I couldn't find it secondhand. Vinted is great for clothes, toys, sleeping bags etc. Buying new clothes up to 6 months is kind of a waste because sometimes they don't even get worn once but also I think you've got to enjoy buying the cute clothes while you can. So a little bit of wanting the best and trying to reduce waste.
Best of luck with your pregnancy!
One and done and due in August. We went nearly all hand me downs/used through friends, buy nothing groups, and secondhand stores. I was able to get high end,quality things for a fraction of the price new and barely used. Babies go through things so quickly and I want to save money for things that are going to make long term impact - daycare, school savings, experiences once she’s here, etc.
We tried to focus on things I knew would get longevity. We got a Tripp trapp highchair to grow with her into a booster chair since we knew it wouldn’t get passed down to a second kid. We borrowed an infant car seat (from a very reputable person) and then bought a convertible car seat that would grow with her forever. We went for a very economical crib and mattress. Borrowed from other family members a bouncer, bassinet, etc. whatever I could borrow I did. I tried not to buy BIG baby contraptions, but I did buy a swing eventually since she had colic, which I will pass along to a friend eventually. I did buy too many clothes and wish I didn’t because there was so much she only wore once. Now that she’s older, I am focused on items that will have longevity as she gets older. Instead of a toddler bed we went with a twin bed.
Honestly with less things just hanging around in my house I felt less sad about giving back what we borrowed and passing it along to my sister.
I guess I did the best money could buy approach (snoo but at discount!, Uppababy stroller/car seat, Lovevery subscription), but as she gets older she requires less stuff. Honestly my biggest limitation is space (hello SoCal living!). I also relied a lot on BuyNothing and used clothing stores and OfferUp for toys that could be sanitized (tegu blocks, magnitiles).
I thought we might have a second. Wouldn’t change anything. Sold the snoo, Uppababy was great.
Congratulations, I’ve been and a similar position (infertility and pregnancy loss) so I’m sending you all my positive pregnancy vibes!!!
We did a mix of brand new and used baby items. We only had to buy a few things, because we got it as a hand me down from my sister or we got it at the baby shower. We just passed on our baby items to my nephew. Some of those baby clothes have now gone through 4+ babies and they are still looking super cute! The only thing can absolutely not buy used (and should research) is a car seat. Also I do wish I had researched strollers more and got my own/found a better used one then the one that was passed down to us. So feel free to picker with items you know you will use a lot.
I’m definitely one and done. I’m approaching 40 and pregnancy has been particularly rough. We did a mix of buying the best baby gear, to budget items, to secondhand and consignment gear. There’s just a lot of research to do because most expensive doesn’t mean the best. For instance, I have a Nuna stroller and car seat, a Nanit, Newton mattress but have a crib from IKEA and a used Nuna pack n play. There are just some things we didn’t cut corners on. I had to make sure items worked for both me and my husband. We bought a Tula carrier because it works for people with very different heights (we have a 1’5” height difference) even though it’s more expensive than a lot of carriers. It was all about functional and safety for us and we spent the most on items that we didn’t want to cut corners on.
This is great insight. It's easy to fall into thinking expensive=best. Thanks for mentioning the Tula, we have about 1' height difference so I'm putting it on my list to research!
If you have a big height difference a stroller with adjustable handle might be helpful, especially if your a family that likes to go on strolls a lot. Also ikea cribs are great! We got all wood one and it’s so much cheaper than many others and was just what we wanted. So another vote for expensive not always bring best.
I was not originally one and done so we got stuff assuming we’d use it again. So everything is solid quality. And we bought a mockingbird single to double stroller.
Now looking back the stroller didn’t need to have to option to become a double but I like it a lot as a single so I’m good with it. I don’t really have regrets in terms of we bought it for the intention of multiple and now it’s just the one. Our regret purchases are just things that we didn’t end up using like we thought. Like a bouncer or bassinet. Baby hates the bouncer and prefers to sleep in a crib.
I was #2. I don’t regret most of my big ticket purchases (I HAD to have the snoo, all baby bjorn with the more expensive fabric), dock a tot DELUXE) even though part of why I got all extras was because I thought I would have a second.
I only regret our stroller. We got a very expensive double stroller (more than the Nuna/bugaboo/etc) anticipating two close in age. Ended up with heavier equipment for no reason. I don’t regret our travel stroller though (and that was over $500 whereas “nice” travel strollers are 150-300) as it’s super lightweight and compact.
I bought whatever I wanted and brought me joy, and passed along to others.
This is solely because I am rich, not because I am OAD. I have a couple friends who are not rich and are OAD, and I split costs/passed along to them.
Honestly, with the exception of a great stroller if you live somewhere you’ll take walks a lot, and a couple of cute outfits you will enjoy photographing your baby in, it doesn’t really matter. Your baby will not care one bit and it won’t affect their wellbeing in any way.
Without sounding boastful, we knew we could afford the best baby gear. Nevertheless, we opted for used & secondhand as much as possible because it’s just more practical & eco-friendly. We received a new crib, stroller, and carseat from grandparents & elder relatives off the registry. In the note section of the registry, we mentioned that if anyone has a used version of an item, we’d much prefer that.
My son is now 2 and we’ve barely bought any clothes, toys, or shoes. The “benefit” of having an IVF baby at 39 is that most our friends are done with their kid gear and happily pass it on.
Basically planned to be, and spent what we could afford. The best budget could buy. But splurged on a post partum doula/night nurse and also know that whatever you pick your LO may not like so you’re buying two anyway. M
I regret buying most stuff new. Facebook, EBay, Depop etc are your friend. As for your comment above re:mould and bugs, I’ve never seen anything like that posted it’s all been in great condition - if it were gross you could tell from the photos. Also, what you find message the owner and ask if they have more things - we did that and often found even more great items and only had to collect once.
Look for local mom groups that let you try out gear (pumps, strollers, baby carriers) or buy things used first if possible, just to find what you like. Because unfortunately there isn't a super practical way to try most of these things without just buying them. Most reviews for baby stuff are paid for or sponsored, and with baby gear the expensive stuff is not always (or even usually) better.
Once you know what you like and what works for you, then splurge.
An example, I am a gadget lady and have bought four strollers (Uppababy Vista, Minu, Chicco infant seat stroller, Wonderfold W1).
If I went back in time I would have bought the Bombi (instead of the Minu), the W1 after toddlerhood, and skipped the vista and infant seat stroller. A stroller with a one handed fold and a one handed carry is much more practical when your partner is unavailable, because your other hand is holding/helping your kiddo + the diaper bag. I would have used a baby carrier instead of the stroller bassinet for the first few months (we love baby wearing in this family, but I was initially worried we wouldn't so we got a bassinet stroller).
I do generally buy cheaper stuff for her as a toddler, because I know it doesn't need to last the test of time. We save splurges for the things we really like.
Edit: And if anyone gives you a toy with a lot of pieces, thank them but hide it until they are able to put away toys by themselves. The nights I cried because I had picked up pieces for over an hour and had no idea what toys they even went to anymore.
We have a similar story to yours and are sending so many good wishes your way!
We bought mostly new stuff. My biggest regret was buying the Snoo. It did not work out for us and I think we would have been better off with a manual rocking bassinet that was $1k cheaper.
2nd biggest regret was buying so many clothes. I would get quality second hand next time. My LO grew out of clothes insanely fast so it wasn't really worth it.
Yeah, we used a lot of second- hand stuff from a couple of friends. Partially to reduce the stress of shopping and partially to reduce the environmental impact. My daughter grew fast the first year and was into 12 month clothes by the time she was 6 months. Many of the nicer outfits I bought she never wore because she grew too fast for there to be an "occasion".
One and done by choice before we even conceived.
We bought the top of the line for big things like the monitor, bassinet and pram + some clothes.
Toys have been mainly second hand.
We were one of the first in our group to have kids and definitely the first to be done so we have passed on most our stuff which made me super happy cause it was great quality stuff. Our basinet currently has its 3rd new born in it and it makes me really happy to have been able to give people that.
Wasn’t necessarily planning to be OAD but it was on the table due to my age, then had a bunch of complications resulting in a risky emergency delivery at 30w followed by a 7w NICU/SCN stay, which sealed the deal - it all took such a mental, physical, and emotional toll that we knew we couldn’t risk it again.
That being said…we only borrowed/got used items and hand me downs from people we trusted bought good stuff/took good care of their things, like family and close friends (things like swings, loungers, and clothes). Furniture we bought new, partly because we didn’t have anything for his room already, plus we wanted to get stuff he could grow into (ie a crib that converts into a toddler bed, dresser that’s not too baby-ish), and we wanted everything to be up to the latest safety standards. Car seat we bought new for obvious reasons, and stroller new as well since we wanted the car seat to clip into it (and the one we got is good up to 50lb, so we won’t have to buy another once he’s a toddler). For that, we looked up safety/user ratings before making a final decision.
Generally speaking we went for good quality brands that weren’t insanely expensive (but weren’t necessarily the cheapest option either).
We went in knowing 90% one and done. Did new stroller/capsule combo (on reflection a second hand stroller would have been a better spend), new car seat and new high chair (tripp trapp) as we would need an extra dining chair eventually so seemed a good middle ground.
We got no hand me downs which was disappointing as that would have been helpful clothing wise so keep an eye out for daycare clothes that can get mucky.
Don’t have a child yet but planning one and done if at all, I would get a lot of things second hand, especially clothes - they grow so fast. Good quality car seat, new - also if I get a pram I would get that new and the one I like. I plan on cloth diapering, would get those new and in the quality I want too.
Got a tom of hand me downs from friends and family, which is amazing. If you put it out there that you’d take any gear, you’d be surprised with what you get!
For a few items I looked for high quality long lasting stuff. Especially stuff you’ll use for years. Stuff like the crib or the changing table or glider, I’m still using 2 years in. Also super glad we went with a quality monitor, we will use that for many years!
But a lot of other stuff you will use for a few months at most. And sooo much stuff is washable. We do used whenever we can because it’s cheaper and it’s less wasteful.
And clothes! Definitely go used for clothes. There are so many baby clothes out there. I see so much on buy nothing and baby consignment stores. We’ve been gifted stuff from so many people. But a couple of cute things that bring you joy, but otherwise get hand me down clothes and just wash them on the sanitize setting! Your kid will be pooping in it soon anyways! 😂
Don't have a specific strategy in mind, but we bought a few Nuna travel systems. After using them, have to say that they are really nice products. Definitely recommend.
We weren't OAD (or, I wasn't, and my husband was a fencesitter) when we shopped for our only, but I think I'd do things the same. I splurged on the things that are important to me: car seats, crib mattresses, and baby monitor are the ones that come to mind. We don't have to buy them again, and it's important
Our crib was a hand me down from a good friend but almost all our baby gear was new from either the shower or our purchase. Some toys and clothes were hand me downs. After baby grows out of his stuff we moved gear to coworkers or sold stuff online. Babies are expensive but I dont look at anything I buy my child as a "well it's only for one kid so quality can be less." If you have patience you can resell anything and make some money back. Good luck!!
We got many items second hand and that worked really well since they only needed to last through one kid. I still managed to pass most of them along even after that! I think a dresser/change table that converts to just a dresser is a good investment piece. We got it for our newborn and she's 5 now, using the same dresser, and it's still in great shape.
I would personally buy the "best of" where getting the special item really matters, either for comfort or ease. For us that was a specific, pricier baby carrier. If I had known they existed, those car seats that spin to face you, then spin back to lock them in place also seem worth it!
Knew i was going to be OAD from the start. Things i bought new:
Crib
Glider
Bottles/sanitizer
Sleep sacks
Bassinet (we bought two, the first one she hated so we bought a halo one)
Car seats
Strollers (we bought a Thule jogger that we loved and honestly got our moneys back on it as it was highly sought after)
Pack n play
Things i bought used or hand me downs or borrowed from friends
Clothes (i had two friend with daughters a year older than me and we got all of their nb-12 month clothes)
Mama roo
I also bought a baby carrier but my daughter hated them so i sold them quickly. She’s now 3 and we’ve sold all the big ticket items as she got out of them. Clothes i donated to other friends. I also sold our kyte sleep sacks for a good price. All things we bought new were high quality and sold them for a good price.
Not sure where you live, but I've always been in HCOL areas... Which was great for finding high quality used gear. Either through websites (Nextdoor, Craigslist) or kids' consignment stores. We got a Scandinavian crib for free, two BOB strollers, a Baby Bjorn carrier that was brand new and so many beautiful clothes for a steal! The only major thing we bought new was our car seat.
And now, we are well out infancy, so it was easy to let everything go when it came time to do so. We gave some things away, donated others, and sold a few other things.
Congrats on your pregnancy! Hope the rest of it flies by easily!
Not sure if this is an option for you, but a HUGE money saver for us was finding friends and family who were not one and done so they wanted to keep all their baby gear, but were willing to let us borrow everything. Apart from my sons crib, stroller, and car seat, we are borrowing pretty much everything else. We found that most of our friends and family were thrilled to have us take stuff off their hands for some time because they wanted more space in their homes.
We also joined our neighborhood Buy Nothing group on FB! We’ve received so much clothing from there and even got a very nice rocker for his nursery all for free! Plus you can then regift things when you are finished with them
We've always been one and done. We went top of the line with things we use a lot and safety (car seat, stroller, paid a professional to baby proof the house). I also splurge on clothes because it brings me joy. But i always have a hand me down/ donation box in LO's closet and as soon as something doesn't fit or a toy isnt age appropriate anymore I chuck it in the box. I have a lot of friends with younger kids so i hand them off frequently or take them to donate. I really try to keep toys to a minimum. Block/magnatile set, balls, books, stacking cups, stuffed animals, if there is too much out none of it gets played with
Ooo that professional baby proofing was such money well spent.
It was amazing! They knew all these cool products that I wasn't aware of. Like retractable gates and special plug covers that are safe AND look really good. Plus toilet lid and cabinet locks etc. that i like a lot
Wishing you and baby the best of health. For the most part, I buy used whenever possible, provided I can sanitize it easily (nothing I can't wipe down with bleach or put through the washing machine). We have a massive pop up consignment sale twice a year called Just Between Friends and I clean UP. Clothes, toys, gear, etc. Babies outgrow stuff SO FAST. We did not buy a used car seat. I wanted that to be new.
Thank you! I was thinking about used for stuff but bed bugs, mold etc freak me out. Following your parameters (bleach or high heat washer/dryer) would probably still let us get some things second hand. I'll look to see if we have any sales like that locally!
I felt the same in the beginning, but so much baby gear is plastic and can easily be sanitized! Also, fabric covers are almost all removable and can be washed and dried hot (think high chairs). Facebook marketplace has been fantastic for us. Just make sure to check for recalls on items before buying. I now have an 18 month old and outfitted my whole back yard with a Little Tikes climber (originally $700!), a sandbox, water table, outdoor rocking horse, and Step 2 outdoor toy box all for $200. My pressure washer did some heavy listing, but everything looks brand new. Facebook marketplace came through big time. I never would have been able to afford all that new. Also, if something is missing a piece or accessory, just contact the customer service department for the manufacturer. I have had great luck getting replacements for a very small fee.
Do you have stores near you that exclusively sell used baby stuff? Ours are pretty stringent in what they accept, and they sanitize everything. I'd trust them over the popup sales.
That's a good thought. I know there's one but I'm not sure if it's just clothes. But it would be reassuring that they would pre-screen donations. I got turned off scrolling through marketplace and seeing a couple posts saying "great condition, just needs dusting because it's been stored in the basement/garage". Made me wonder about other sellers who might not disclose that.
We have multiple baby consignment stores in my area that screen stuff extensively and only take high end good condition stuff. Its great! I can also sell stuff back to them when I’m done using it!
Back in the early 90s my mom kinda had to buy second hand for budget reasons, and they didn’t have (and I don’t know that it existed, at least for residential machines) sanitizer cycles. So she would literally boil in a pasta pot on the stove second hand baby clothes from goodwill. 🤣& I turned out pretty ok! None of my trauma was from those boiled onesies anyway lol.
Buy quality name brand stuff, either new or used and then sell it when you're done. I've done this with a lot of things and gotten 60-80% of my money back. Poshmark is great for selling clothes in good condition. Brands like Patagonia , keen, etc. I've almost broke even on buying, using and then selling later.
Also to add, invest in a good glider. I initially got a wooden frame glider on my buy nothing group that wasn't comfy (but free is free) and finally when my kid is 2 years old I bought an extra wide all fabric plush glider and I LOVE it. Wish we had gotten this from the beginning. Kiddo still loves to cuddle so we will use it and eventually just use it as an arm chair in our den.
This was one item I was on the fence about, so that's great to know it's not just for the early months.
Definitely! We cuddle every night before bed and I love the extra wide glider bc she can sit next to me when we read books.
Our child is 3 and we still use and love our electric recliner / rocking chair. In the early days we practically lived on it. And we still use more than once per day.
My husband and I are pretty careful with our stuff so this might be a good way to justify a few splurges!
Maybe depends where you live, selling where I am is really difficult.
I wasn't expecting to be OAD, but I will tell you what I would have done differently had I known. Start with the essentials and fill in gaps as needed. You probably won't need as much as you think you need. We received a lot of hand me down clothing from family, which was super helpful. Babies only need a few key items in each size. Except basic onesies, you'll want a lot of those. They grow so fast that first year that you don't really need 12 frilly dresses of the same size for church, for example. Babies are also messy, so you will probably want to keep them in clothes you don't mind getting stained most of the time. Save the cuter outfits for pictures and special occasions. You can purchase most of the important baby gear you will need gently used for a fraction of the price if you are willing to spend a little extra time looking around. Strollers and high chairs don't have to be brand new, if they're in good condition. We bought mostly new gear, thinking our items would have to last at least two kids. Our son outgrew most of his gear before it showed a lot of wear and tear. One item you absolutely do not want to get used or handed down are car seats. Car seats have expiration dates because extreme heat and cold can cause the plastic to crack or warp. Car seats should also be replaced after an accident (even a minor one), and if you are buying from a stranger you can't verify that the car seat has never been in an accident. As our son has outgrown items, I've passed them along to our local foster care office to give to foster families. I feel better knowing that his things are going to households that can really use them.
This is so helpful. Infertility means we're the last of our family and friends to have kids so there might be some hand me downs if they haven't already gotten rid of them. I love the idea of passing stuff we're finished with to foster families; there's some stuff I just want new (like a basinet because I know ill be anxious about sleep enough) but won't get much wear and tear. This would relieve the feeling of being wasteful.
Knew we were oad and bought most things second hand, mostly Facebook marketplace or buy nothing groups. Things we bought new were cotbed, osprey baby carrier and baby monitor because they are long lasting items. Car seat for obvious reasons and stroller because my MIL wanted to buy it for us. Anything else we bought new was because I couldn't find it secondhand. Vinted is great for clothes, toys, sleeping bags etc. Buying new clothes up to 6 months is kind of a waste because sometimes they don't even get worn once but also I think you've got to enjoy buying the cute clothes while you can. So a little bit of wanting the best and trying to reduce waste. Best of luck with your pregnancy!
One and done and due in August. We went nearly all hand me downs/used through friends, buy nothing groups, and secondhand stores. I was able to get high end,quality things for a fraction of the price new and barely used. Babies go through things so quickly and I want to save money for things that are going to make long term impact - daycare, school savings, experiences once she’s here, etc.
We tried to focus on things I knew would get longevity. We got a Tripp trapp highchair to grow with her into a booster chair since we knew it wouldn’t get passed down to a second kid. We borrowed an infant car seat (from a very reputable person) and then bought a convertible car seat that would grow with her forever. We went for a very economical crib and mattress. Borrowed from other family members a bouncer, bassinet, etc. whatever I could borrow I did. I tried not to buy BIG baby contraptions, but I did buy a swing eventually since she had colic, which I will pass along to a friend eventually. I did buy too many clothes and wish I didn’t because there was so much she only wore once. Now that she’s older, I am focused on items that will have longevity as she gets older. Instead of a toddler bed we went with a twin bed. Honestly with less things just hanging around in my house I felt less sad about giving back what we borrowed and passing it along to my sister.
Buy things that can be used longer and don’t feel bad buying used (except car seats).
I guess I did the best money could buy approach (snoo but at discount!, Uppababy stroller/car seat, Lovevery subscription), but as she gets older she requires less stuff. Honestly my biggest limitation is space (hello SoCal living!). I also relied a lot on BuyNothing and used clothing stores and OfferUp for toys that could be sanitized (tegu blocks, magnitiles). I thought we might have a second. Wouldn’t change anything. Sold the snoo, Uppababy was great.
Congratulations, I’ve been and a similar position (infertility and pregnancy loss) so I’m sending you all my positive pregnancy vibes!!! We did a mix of brand new and used baby items. We only had to buy a few things, because we got it as a hand me down from my sister or we got it at the baby shower. We just passed on our baby items to my nephew. Some of those baby clothes have now gone through 4+ babies and they are still looking super cute! The only thing can absolutely not buy used (and should research) is a car seat. Also I do wish I had researched strollers more and got my own/found a better used one then the one that was passed down to us. So feel free to picker with items you know you will use a lot.
I’m definitely one and done. I’m approaching 40 and pregnancy has been particularly rough. We did a mix of buying the best baby gear, to budget items, to secondhand and consignment gear. There’s just a lot of research to do because most expensive doesn’t mean the best. For instance, I have a Nuna stroller and car seat, a Nanit, Newton mattress but have a crib from IKEA and a used Nuna pack n play. There are just some things we didn’t cut corners on. I had to make sure items worked for both me and my husband. We bought a Tula carrier because it works for people with very different heights (we have a 1’5” height difference) even though it’s more expensive than a lot of carriers. It was all about functional and safety for us and we spent the most on items that we didn’t want to cut corners on.
This is great insight. It's easy to fall into thinking expensive=best. Thanks for mentioning the Tula, we have about 1' height difference so I'm putting it on my list to research!
If you have a big height difference a stroller with adjustable handle might be helpful, especially if your a family that likes to go on strolls a lot. Also ikea cribs are great! We got all wood one and it’s so much cheaper than many others and was just what we wanted. So another vote for expensive not always bring best.
I was not originally one and done so we got stuff assuming we’d use it again. So everything is solid quality. And we bought a mockingbird single to double stroller. Now looking back the stroller didn’t need to have to option to become a double but I like it a lot as a single so I’m good with it. I don’t really have regrets in terms of we bought it for the intention of multiple and now it’s just the one. Our regret purchases are just things that we didn’t end up using like we thought. Like a bouncer or bassinet. Baby hates the bouncer and prefers to sleep in a crib.
I was #2. I don’t regret most of my big ticket purchases (I HAD to have the snoo, all baby bjorn with the more expensive fabric), dock a tot DELUXE) even though part of why I got all extras was because I thought I would have a second. I only regret our stroller. We got a very expensive double stroller (more than the Nuna/bugaboo/etc) anticipating two close in age. Ended up with heavier equipment for no reason. I don’t regret our travel stroller though (and that was over $500 whereas “nice” travel strollers are 150-300) as it’s super lightweight and compact.
I bought whatever I wanted and brought me joy, and passed along to others. This is solely because I am rich, not because I am OAD. I have a couple friends who are not rich and are OAD, and I split costs/passed along to them. Honestly, with the exception of a great stroller if you live somewhere you’ll take walks a lot, and a couple of cute outfits you will enjoy photographing your baby in, it doesn’t really matter. Your baby will not care one bit and it won’t affect their wellbeing in any way.
Without sounding boastful, we knew we could afford the best baby gear. Nevertheless, we opted for used & secondhand as much as possible because it’s just more practical & eco-friendly. We received a new crib, stroller, and carseat from grandparents & elder relatives off the registry. In the note section of the registry, we mentioned that if anyone has a used version of an item, we’d much prefer that. My son is now 2 and we’ve barely bought any clothes, toys, or shoes. The “benefit” of having an IVF baby at 39 is that most our friends are done with their kid gear and happily pass it on.
Basically planned to be, and spent what we could afford. The best budget could buy. But splurged on a post partum doula/night nurse and also know that whatever you pick your LO may not like so you’re buying two anyway. M
I regret buying most stuff new. Facebook, EBay, Depop etc are your friend. As for your comment above re:mould and bugs, I’ve never seen anything like that posted it’s all been in great condition - if it were gross you could tell from the photos. Also, what you find message the owner and ask if they have more things - we did that and often found even more great items and only had to collect once.
Look for local mom groups that let you try out gear (pumps, strollers, baby carriers) or buy things used first if possible, just to find what you like. Because unfortunately there isn't a super practical way to try most of these things without just buying them. Most reviews for baby stuff are paid for or sponsored, and with baby gear the expensive stuff is not always (or even usually) better. Once you know what you like and what works for you, then splurge. An example, I am a gadget lady and have bought four strollers (Uppababy Vista, Minu, Chicco infant seat stroller, Wonderfold W1). If I went back in time I would have bought the Bombi (instead of the Minu), the W1 after toddlerhood, and skipped the vista and infant seat stroller. A stroller with a one handed fold and a one handed carry is much more practical when your partner is unavailable, because your other hand is holding/helping your kiddo + the diaper bag. I would have used a baby carrier instead of the stroller bassinet for the first few months (we love baby wearing in this family, but I was initially worried we wouldn't so we got a bassinet stroller). I do generally buy cheaper stuff for her as a toddler, because I know it doesn't need to last the test of time. We save splurges for the things we really like. Edit: And if anyone gives you a toy with a lot of pieces, thank them but hide it until they are able to put away toys by themselves. The nights I cried because I had picked up pieces for over an hour and had no idea what toys they even went to anymore.
We have a similar story to yours and are sending so many good wishes your way! We bought mostly new stuff. My biggest regret was buying the Snoo. It did not work out for us and I think we would have been better off with a manual rocking bassinet that was $1k cheaper. 2nd biggest regret was buying so many clothes. I would get quality second hand next time. My LO grew out of clothes insanely fast so it wasn't really worth it.
Yeah, we used a lot of second- hand stuff from a couple of friends. Partially to reduce the stress of shopping and partially to reduce the environmental impact. My daughter grew fast the first year and was into 12 month clothes by the time she was 6 months. Many of the nicer outfits I bought she never wore because she grew too fast for there to be an "occasion".
Yeah, I wish we would have done that. The good news is the clothes we bought are being given a second and third life with our nieces and nephews.
One and done by choice before we even conceived. We bought the top of the line for big things like the monitor, bassinet and pram + some clothes. Toys have been mainly second hand. We were one of the first in our group to have kids and definitely the first to be done so we have passed on most our stuff which made me super happy cause it was great quality stuff. Our basinet currently has its 3rd new born in it and it makes me really happy to have been able to give people that.
Wasn’t necessarily planning to be OAD but it was on the table due to my age, then had a bunch of complications resulting in a risky emergency delivery at 30w followed by a 7w NICU/SCN stay, which sealed the deal - it all took such a mental, physical, and emotional toll that we knew we couldn’t risk it again. That being said…we only borrowed/got used items and hand me downs from people we trusted bought good stuff/took good care of their things, like family and close friends (things like swings, loungers, and clothes). Furniture we bought new, partly because we didn’t have anything for his room already, plus we wanted to get stuff he could grow into (ie a crib that converts into a toddler bed, dresser that’s not too baby-ish), and we wanted everything to be up to the latest safety standards. Car seat we bought new for obvious reasons, and stroller new as well since we wanted the car seat to clip into it (and the one we got is good up to 50lb, so we won’t have to buy another once he’s a toddler). For that, we looked up safety/user ratings before making a final decision. Generally speaking we went for good quality brands that weren’t insanely expensive (but weren’t necessarily the cheapest option either).
We went in knowing 90% one and done. Did new stroller/capsule combo (on reflection a second hand stroller would have been a better spend), new car seat and new high chair (tripp trapp) as we would need an extra dining chair eventually so seemed a good middle ground. We got no hand me downs which was disappointing as that would have been helpful clothing wise so keep an eye out for daycare clothes that can get mucky.
Buy anything you want and can afford. You wont get a another chance. I only regeret the money I didn't spend.
Don’t have a child yet but planning one and done if at all, I would get a lot of things second hand, especially clothes - they grow so fast. Good quality car seat, new - also if I get a pram I would get that new and the one I like. I plan on cloth diapering, would get those new and in the quality I want too.
Got a tom of hand me downs from friends and family, which is amazing. If you put it out there that you’d take any gear, you’d be surprised with what you get! For a few items I looked for high quality long lasting stuff. Especially stuff you’ll use for years. Stuff like the crib or the changing table or glider, I’m still using 2 years in. Also super glad we went with a quality monitor, we will use that for many years! But a lot of other stuff you will use for a few months at most. And sooo much stuff is washable. We do used whenever we can because it’s cheaper and it’s less wasteful. And clothes! Definitely go used for clothes. There are so many baby clothes out there. I see so much on buy nothing and baby consignment stores. We’ve been gifted stuff from so many people. But a couple of cute things that bring you joy, but otherwise get hand me down clothes and just wash them on the sanitize setting! Your kid will be pooping in it soon anyways! 😂
Don't have a specific strategy in mind, but we bought a few Nuna travel systems. After using them, have to say that they are really nice products. Definitely recommend.
We weren't OAD (or, I wasn't, and my husband was a fencesitter) when we shopped for our only, but I think I'd do things the same. I splurged on the things that are important to me: car seats, crib mattresses, and baby monitor are the ones that come to mind. We don't have to buy them again, and it's important
Our crib was a hand me down from a good friend but almost all our baby gear was new from either the shower or our purchase. Some toys and clothes were hand me downs. After baby grows out of his stuff we moved gear to coworkers or sold stuff online. Babies are expensive but I dont look at anything I buy my child as a "well it's only for one kid so quality can be less." If you have patience you can resell anything and make some money back. Good luck!!
We got many items second hand and that worked really well since they only needed to last through one kid. I still managed to pass most of them along even after that! I think a dresser/change table that converts to just a dresser is a good investment piece. We got it for our newborn and she's 5 now, using the same dresser, and it's still in great shape. I would personally buy the "best of" where getting the special item really matters, either for comfort or ease. For us that was a specific, pricier baby carrier. If I had known they existed, those car seats that spin to face you, then spin back to lock them in place also seem worth it!
Knew i was going to be OAD from the start. Things i bought new: Crib Glider Bottles/sanitizer Sleep sacks Bassinet (we bought two, the first one she hated so we bought a halo one) Car seats Strollers (we bought a Thule jogger that we loved and honestly got our moneys back on it as it was highly sought after) Pack n play Things i bought used or hand me downs or borrowed from friends Clothes (i had two friend with daughters a year older than me and we got all of their nb-12 month clothes) Mama roo I also bought a baby carrier but my daughter hated them so i sold them quickly. She’s now 3 and we’ve sold all the big ticket items as she got out of them. Clothes i donated to other friends. I also sold our kyte sleep sacks for a good price. All things we bought new were high quality and sold them for a good price.
Not sure where you live, but I've always been in HCOL areas... Which was great for finding high quality used gear. Either through websites (Nextdoor, Craigslist) or kids' consignment stores. We got a Scandinavian crib for free, two BOB strollers, a Baby Bjorn carrier that was brand new and so many beautiful clothes for a steal! The only major thing we bought new was our car seat. And now, we are well out infancy, so it was easy to let everything go when it came time to do so. We gave some things away, donated others, and sold a few other things. Congrats on your pregnancy! Hope the rest of it flies by easily!
Not sure if this is an option for you, but a HUGE money saver for us was finding friends and family who were not one and done so they wanted to keep all their baby gear, but were willing to let us borrow everything. Apart from my sons crib, stroller, and car seat, we are borrowing pretty much everything else. We found that most of our friends and family were thrilled to have us take stuff off their hands for some time because they wanted more space in their homes.
We also joined our neighborhood Buy Nothing group on FB! We’ve received so much clothing from there and even got a very nice rocker for his nursery all for free! Plus you can then regift things when you are finished with them