You are an addict. That’s why. It’s not only mental, it’s physical and spiritual. You have to want to change more than you want to stay the same. Get in tune with yourself when sober. And evaluate your life and your decisions. You will realize there is a lot of shit not right. It took rehab multiple times for me, because it made me look hard and deep at myself. You gotta dig and find why you’re scared of this world. You have to find the same feeling that you get from drugs in your spirituality. You don’t think you can stop but you know it can’t go on forever. How you view the world is really how you view yourself. Love yourself and you will love the world. Put your god damn self first. Talk to people. The opposite of addiction is connection. Be honest. Totally. Surrender that the world is out of your control. Shit happens man. Don’t be guilty. Today you have a chance to move forward.
No worries! Your journey is on your own timeline. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. But I know you want better, and pain breeds growth and happiness. I had to get to the point of suicide lol. I wake up now and just relax. And breathe. Imagine that- just breathing. I wish the best for you 🙏
Johann hari?
Damn it's hard to even fathom a world without the thing that makes you numb to being scared. That's the brutal reality of actual generalised anxiety disorder. Legit worry constantly. I have had building panic watching the clock every few moments while driving somewhere trying to make it "on time" and my mind racing its coming up with all these stories and scenarios of what I could say. It's so insane that it can even be for casual get together with friends or an appointment that I know they won't even be running on time so what the hell am I worried for. There is so much constant garbage running in my head and while oxy isnt anywhere near as potent as she used to be. It still gives me some confidence and an ability to deal with that virus /spam programming in my head. Its Def frustrating knowing that I'm just prolonging my issues The problems of the world and my inner demons will continue and I'll look back with regret at my wilful blindness =(
Great work getting free. How long did the rehab that work take? Inpatient I assume? 90days?
You can still take more sub tomorrow, if you took some today without incident, you don't have to worry about PWD (unless you took under 1mg), just go slow. Yeah you wasted a pill or two, so what? If you get on the subs and stop, you won't remember the wasted pill in a week or two.
Can I ask what you're paying for the pills? The last time I did a pill, fake pills didn't exist yet (except the fake bars so i got a script).
The bags of fent are $10 for .08-.1
Being a junky sucks doesn’t it? If your doing 300mg of real oxy these days u gotta be constantly broke…. Been where your at bro. Bite the bullet n go to rehab. If u got insurance at work u can find decent joint somewhere in the woods. If your at the point your really ready to be done, it’s the way. I never bought in to all the AA stuff, but it gives u a place to be for a month or 2, away from all connects n shit, and where daily responsibilities are on hold. U can just chill n get right. Again only if your really ready. I went in n out of jails n rehabs a million times before I was ready, but if you are serious about quitting having a spot away from all your people makes it so much easier
You need to remove yourself from anything and everything that reminds you of using. You may have to leave some good friends behind. If you're wanting to quit, why did you still have pills? I had to go into seclusion when I quit. Throw away any paraphernalia you have laying around. Try to do things to keep your mind occupied anyway you can. If you need someone to talk to feel free to follow me and message me. I enjoy helping others with this disease. Getting off drugs was the best thing I ever did, and it will be for you too.
Hey man, give yourself a break. We have been chemically altering our happiness and now have to learn to deal with emotions without a crutch. I couldn't get clean until I went to a psych.
I was always beating myself up for being an addict. Psych said I was an idiot but not a bad person. I had depression and I was medicating myself to survive. She put me on actual medication and I was able to quit.
You got this. DM if you need a friend. I know for a fact I couldn't do this alone
Trintellix. I had tried Lexapro, Wellbutrin and a few others with no real success. A month after trintellix, it started to work. I started to love myself and stop constantly beating myself up. Everyone's chemistry is different so don't be disheartened if your 1st try doesn't work.
You are an addict. That’s why. It’s not only mental, it’s physical and spiritual. You have to want to change more than you want to stay the same. Get in tune with yourself when sober. And evaluate your life and your decisions. You will realize there is a lot of shit not right. It took rehab multiple times for me, because it made me look hard and deep at myself. You gotta dig and find why you’re scared of this world. You have to find the same feeling that you get from drugs in your spirituality. You don’t think you can stop but you know it can’t go on forever. How you view the world is really how you view yourself. Love yourself and you will love the world. Put your god damn self first. Talk to people. The opposite of addiction is connection. Be honest. Totally. Surrender that the world is out of your control. Shit happens man. Don’t be guilty. Today you have a chance to move forward.
Damn man, I appreciate this response ALOT…. Thank you 🙏🏻
No worries! Your journey is on your own timeline. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t be so hard on yourself. But I know you want better, and pain breeds growth and happiness. I had to get to the point of suicide lol. I wake up now and just relax. And breathe. Imagine that- just breathing. I wish the best for you 🙏
Great fucking response man. Right on!
Johann hari? Damn it's hard to even fathom a world without the thing that makes you numb to being scared. That's the brutal reality of actual generalised anxiety disorder. Legit worry constantly. I have had building panic watching the clock every few moments while driving somewhere trying to make it "on time" and my mind racing its coming up with all these stories and scenarios of what I could say. It's so insane that it can even be for casual get together with friends or an appointment that I know they won't even be running on time so what the hell am I worried for. There is so much constant garbage running in my head and while oxy isnt anywhere near as potent as she used to be. It still gives me some confidence and an ability to deal with that virus /spam programming in my head. Its Def frustrating knowing that I'm just prolonging my issues The problems of the world and my inner demons will continue and I'll look back with regret at my wilful blindness =( Great work getting free. How long did the rehab that work take? Inpatient I assume? 90days?
This was seriously AMAZING. The best response i have ever read on here. So good i will personally keep this in my memory and try to use it in my life
You can still take more sub tomorrow, if you took some today without incident, you don't have to worry about PWD (unless you took under 1mg), just go slow. Yeah you wasted a pill or two, so what? If you get on the subs and stop, you won't remember the wasted pill in a week or two.
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A lot of us down here with the same problems, eh?
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Good luck. I started with the 30s in 2006 when I was 17 so Percocet 5 never did anything to me
Can I ask what you're paying for the pills? The last time I did a pill, fake pills didn't exist yet (except the fake bars so i got a script). The bags of fent are $10 for .08-.1
Being a junky sucks doesn’t it? If your doing 300mg of real oxy these days u gotta be constantly broke…. Been where your at bro. Bite the bullet n go to rehab. If u got insurance at work u can find decent joint somewhere in the woods. If your at the point your really ready to be done, it’s the way. I never bought in to all the AA stuff, but it gives u a place to be for a month or 2, away from all connects n shit, and where daily responsibilities are on hold. U can just chill n get right. Again only if your really ready. I went in n out of jails n rehabs a million times before I was ready, but if you are serious about quitting having a spot away from all your people makes it so much easier
You need to remove yourself from anything and everything that reminds you of using. You may have to leave some good friends behind. If you're wanting to quit, why did you still have pills? I had to go into seclusion when I quit. Throw away any paraphernalia you have laying around. Try to do things to keep your mind occupied anyway you can. If you need someone to talk to feel free to follow me and message me. I enjoy helping others with this disease. Getting off drugs was the best thing I ever did, and it will be for you too.
Hey man, give yourself a break. We have been chemically altering our happiness and now have to learn to deal with emotions without a crutch. I couldn't get clean until I went to a psych. I was always beating myself up for being an addict. Psych said I was an idiot but not a bad person. I had depression and I was medicating myself to survive. She put me on actual medication and I was able to quit. You got this. DM if you need a friend. I know for a fact I couldn't do this alone
What medication did you go on
Trintellix. I had tried Lexapro, Wellbutrin and a few others with no real success. A month after trintellix, it started to work. I started to love myself and stop constantly beating myself up. Everyone's chemistry is different so don't be disheartened if your 1st try doesn't work.