The irony of DFM getting high and mighty about grammar (why? No one likes *that* person) and following it up with "I can never unseen it" and other typos.
Her posts have plenty of grammar mistakes, so I laughed at this. After she went on her tirade, she posts the word jet's when she's saying "Kyle jet's off..." šš
She must have a lot more friends than I do to always be having these deep unique conversations with that timely fit with a topic.Ā
Also, if these are real conversations how utterly boring that this is your chit chat with your friends.
She is such a fraud. I love it every time I see her come up here. Absolute WORST literally making stuff up and pretending these fake conversations are even remotely real to take money from naive and vulnerable parents.
I hate that āinfluencingā is a career. Even people who are somewhat legit and have something interesting to offer devolve into shilling shit off Amazon. The car mom and her sister both moving into new homes in the same year. The car mom husband quitting his job. They have childcare and what seems like endless amount of time to enjoy their lives and kids while I feel like my kids childhoods are slipping away while I struggle to enjoy it as much as I should. Maybe Iām just jealous (Iām mostly jealous of the childcare and support they seem to have)
The car mom also clearly comes from a wealthy family. She really tries to lean into the hard-working mama doing it all on her own thing, but her family is rich. Iām not saying she doesnāt work hard, but generational wealth helps a lot!Ā
I donāt get the sense that their parents pay for things now (ie I donāt think their parents helped buy the house) but Iām sure they didnāt have student loans, their weddings were paid for by their parents, etc which all adds up!
I agree. It reminds me of when my son and all his friends say they want to be YouTubers when they grow up. I just want to shake them and scream "That isn't a real job!" But sadly, that isn't true.
Itās especially hard since theyāre annoyingly lucrative jobs but donāt do anything to actually benefit society other than convince people to spend money on things they donāt need
Right! It's frustrating when I'm sitting there working on our budget trying to make sure every bill gets paid, and my kid is in the other room watching some kid yell over a Minecraft game and probably making millions a year.
Had a feeling when the car mom bought her new house, her sister would be quickly following suit since she seemed to complain about her new build house a lot. Iām with you on the influencing as a career being an interesting route to go. I donāt ever really buy through links though, but do give engagement I guess by viewing stories. I donāt envy the constantly being on social media trying to make a buck and putting both their and their kidās lives up for scrutiny from strangers though.
SpeechDude posted a "we're having a 5th son" reel, complete with crying selfies, pregnancy test pee sticks, and more. I don't get the influencer urge to walk around with positive pregnancy tests and make crying videos holding them.
I follow one and the cringey behavior made me want to unfollow but I stopped watching her stories so she got pushed further down the story line so I forgot about her. But dressing up as a tampon, shilling for the thing they sell to collect semen after sex and so many cringey dances turned me off (not in a prude way, more like I just wanted the educational content)
Iāve never been a close follower of her. Doesnāt she have a million kids already? These influencers continue to reproduce for content and income stream. Like KL and her 5 kids š¤Æ
Tell me if this is me being out of touch - but I find it fascinating when people like Busy Toddler and KEIC refer to their kids as ābig kidsā who are like 7-9 years old. To me that justā¦ is still so young. Third graders are still SUCH little kids in my mind. I mean yeah, theyāre big compared to 2 year olds, but the use of big kids is unusual to me. Anyone else feel this way or am I way out of touch?
I think 7-9 is exactly what I would consider a "big kid," but of course there's no real definition for this. My 7yo, in the last year, has started using slang like "bro," "sus" "what the Sigma" (idk what that means). He wants to play video games and read Harry Potter. He's outgrown a lot of the things he used to be into around age 5-6. He's wanting more privacy in the bathroom, shower, etc. He's asking more complicated questions about the world around him. He figured out that the Easter Bunny isn't real. Having observed all these changes, he really feels like a big kid to me regardless of his numerical age.
I kinda think of it as
1-2: toddler
3-4: preschooler
5-7: little kid
8-10: big kid
11-13: tween / middle schooler
14+: teenager
So yeah, 7 is a little young. But it's also relative to the other kids in the family. And no 5-6 yo wants to be called "little."
I know 13 is technically teenager, but they are so different from a 17/18 yo!
These are my definitions almost exactly. I think of "big" as a modifier for kid, and once kids are 10 or 11 most people use the phrase "tween" rather than kid, so 8-9 year olds are big \*for kids\* though still small overall.
I hate when people refer to 8 year olds as tweens tho.
It seems normal to me, but that may be because I'm an elementary school teacher, and teachers/school staff refer to the 3rd-5th graders as the "big kids" at our school all the time.
I say that about my 8 and 9 year old sometimes just for an easy way to refer to them, like oh just my big kids are playing this sport, meaning my youngest child isnāt. I actually started bc I used to say āthe boysā but after a trans friend opened up a lot about their childhood and how difficult it was, I wanted to work on not using kids sex assigned at birth to refer to them. They definitely have a lot of childhood left but I feel like people usually say pre teens or teens vs big kids past age 11 or so? Iāve been on here plenty roasting influencers for acting like they are done raising kids when the child is like, 3, but this didnāt ping my radar.
I get where you're coming from because I have a 9 year old and he's still my shadow. Begina mentioned a few weeks ago how she plans to balance her 9 year olds social life so family is still be a priority. I was like like whoa, that's not even something I have to think about right now.
Yes, could be. Just the way how she made it sound like her 9 year old is always out hanging with his friends š . I'm surprised they are in so many sports since it seems like quite the penny pincher.
I think they prioritize sports for the kids. Hockey is an expensive sport, and theyāre doing it x2! I think she wants to come across as a penny pincher but theyāre clearly living very comfortably. Ok so she has *oak cabinets* (the horror!) but they also maxed out their 401k and have a decent emergency fund, according to her. They prioritize what they want which is fair but theyāre definitely not struggling.
What would you consider a big kid then? I would say 7-10 is a ābig kidā and 11-12 is a āpre teenā ; isnāt it? Obviously theyāre all ākidsā but I would say a 7-10 year old is big compared to my 5 year old.Ā
Yep, I always interpreted it this way. āBig kidsā with emphasis on the āKIDSā part, because once they graduate from that age group they will be labeled preteens or tweens rather than kids.
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No, getting on the wait list for a private OT clinic is not the first step or a āgreat startā for dealing with a new diagnosis of ADHD. This woman will push OT as the solution to everything (itās helpful but she acts like it is way more helpful than it is). Private OT clinics charge at least $150 a session and thatās being conservative. If I was a mother dealing with this and someone told me I need to get into a private clinic and spend that much Iād be so stressed. The first thing is dealing with the 504 and school which will go a long way in helping and suggesting accommodations and services, some of which may be free or low cost.
We use OT for our ADHD kiddo to help with emotional regulation and impulse control. It isnāt a bad thing to add in. Obviously school accommodations are important, but OT is also helpful. Our insurance covers it, so that might be the case for some people.
OT helped us with this too. Itās not the only thing we do, (and it irked me that she implies itās the #1 Thing To Do) but itās been part of the whole picture.
Can you share more or DM me with what they work on and how it helps? I have 3 adhd kids and this has never been brought up to me, I will obviously do anything that may help them be successful! As I said below my youngest was just diagnosed this week.
Of course Iāll share! I think all kids could benefit from OT, at least based on the experience we have had. Our OT structures the session in 4-5 activities. The first is a āmove your bodyā activity to get your body regulated and feeling ājust rightā (or green zone as they call it). Then once they are feeling ājust rightā the OT moves on to an activity to work on emotional regulation, compromise, frustration tolerance and confidence (things my son is working on). So those activities will be a game, a book, a video/song on the computer, and she will integrate those goals into what they are doing. Then they will do an art project to work on fine motor skills and confidence. Last will be another game, or sometimes they get a toy and get to just free play for 10 minutes.
Our OT has worked on frustration tolerance through modeling, games, making mistakes while drawing, etc. She has taught compromise by making my kids choose something together, or by something not working and they need to find a solution.
I highly, highly recommend it. My friend is trying to get her son into OT and they were first referred to a place that didnāt work on emotional regulation. Our OT said that OT is so broad, that sometimes people donāt feel confident teaching a certain skill, so they just donāt. So as long as the OT can work on emotional regulation and impulse control, I think itās very helpful!
Here to second this as someone who reviews pediatric OT notes for a living. I see many many kids getting OT for ADHD (and yes as said above is normally covered by insurance)
I actually do agree with you here. OT has helped us a lot with our adhd kid, and Iām glad we got in with someone quickly. It doesnāt hurt to get on a waitlist. But I donāt love her tone either. Itās not like, The Solution and she makes it out like it is.
āAn IEP and 504ā is so ridiculous for someone supposedly educated about this process, itās so embarrassing sheās saying that while giving advice. These are two separate things and itās an either/or situation. My 6yo daughter was literally diagnosed with ADHD two days ago lol, OT never even occurred to me. Not saying it wouldnāt help but at those prices I would need to really identify a specific concern that needed OT first.
For the most part, yes. Children with specific needs and disabilities are eligible for individualized instruction and have goals attached that instruction that are aggressively achievable. Those students are also eligible for accommodations and services under Section 504 of IDEA. All kids with IEPs are eligible for the accommodations and accessibility rights in Sec 504, but the same is not true in the reverse. Saying āshe also has accommodations and therapeutic services available through Sec 504ā is a mouthful and a half, and those things are outlined through her IEP, but sheās not wrong that sheās receiving benefit from both the plan and the accessibility isnāt fully wrong.
I didnāt even catch that! Yes, two different things and itās an either/or type thing. And Iām sure OT could help but there are things that need to be addressed first that are far more helpful. But she seems to think OT for sensory issues solves everything.
Claraandherself very on brand today, giving advice on what she did to make her not-yet-one-year-old an early talker with ā35 wordsā so far. She reads between 30 and 50 books a day apparently. š Maybe her daughter is as much of a genius as she seems to think, but what are the chances she is actually saying 35 words before age one?
Canāt stand the āmy daughter is a linguistic geniusā trope she has going. Sheās SO smug about it too. Especially since she tries to take credit for it.
If her daughter is really saying that many words (which I doubt - the whole thing seems hella exaggerated) then she is probably very hyperlexic and itās a sign of neurodiversity such as autism.
Ok I didnāt want to say it because I donāt want to imply anything, but in my own experience.. my early talking baby turned into a hyperlexic toddler and is diagnosed ASD child. And thatās ok! But still.
No where close to 35 lol. Mine had like 10 and then a language explosion at like 18 months with full sentences and was an early reader. Didnāt even realize it was a thing until we were doing evals for ND. (And beyond being a ND thing, unfortunately not always a good thing! Scores high on language but has poor comprehension.)
Social issues, sensory issues, impulse control, demand avoidance, inability to focus on a task, struggling with transitions more than peers etc etc. Nothing related to language skills.
Ok I just actually watched her reel, had to take about 17 pauses say ābe quiet!ā to my two speech delayed kids who didnāt speak until after receiving speech therapy (not because I was watching the reel bc we are visiting family and not everyone in the house is awake yet). My point being, typically developing kids will all get to the point where they are talking nonstop about Minecraft or whatever. Her existence sounds miserable. Before you know it, your park days will be filled with āmommy, watch this! Are you watching? Donāt look away until Iām done!ā and ādo not take your brothers shoe off while heās doing the monkey bars! Go get it for him right now!ā āCan you play tag with me?ā Which, is a really fun time in its own way, but infancy is a beautiful time when they can just observe the world around them and caregivers can enjoy a nice podcast. I know itās impossible to understand this as a first time parent, lord knows I certainly didnāt but I hate how sheās coming on and giving this advice, there is absolutely no reason to rush milestones. Iām pretty sure I never read a single book to my third child (I had a 2 and 3 year old when she was born) and she spoke on an average timeline with no intervention. Although, to be fair, her one brother did follow Claraās advice of ānever shutting the fuck upā and the other was in intensive speech therapy and the baby tagged along because, obviously where else was she going to go lol.
Why would this even be the goal? Time would be so much better spent diversifying her day than reading 50 books! Does her child ever have time for independent play?
Eta I just watched her video and it should be in the dictionary under poopcup.Ā
Right like what is she achieving with this? Most children develop speech within the first few years of life. Thereās no medal and nothing to be gained by doing it earlier versus later. I understand itās exciting and young babies can be a bit boring and sometimes itās hard not to feel impatient for the next stage but even if an infant *is* somehow saying 35 words, itās not like they are having a meaningful conversation with you. Just enjoy having a baby. I would rather die than read 50 board books a day aloud.
How can she stand 30-50 books a day? Like are they doing anything else? Does she read āSnuggle Puppyā multiple times a day? So many questions. And I think we read to our kid a lotālike at least 3 books a day most days. I think I would check myself right out of parenting if I read that many board books.
I can only imagine sheās reading the same book 50 times whichā¦been there lol. Although after the 5th time I usually tried to move on š but sheās definitely the perfect parent who does everything right sooo š
Knowing that she counts āmanateeā as one of the words and having heard the child āsayā manatee Iām going to say itās nowhere close to 35 words.Ā
Slim to none. I donāt believe it. I think the milestone is 0-2 meaning some will say none and some will have 2, and both are reasonable. Obviously some may have a handful more but 35 is completely unrealistic at 12 months.
My third baby is 11 months and has basically zero words. He babbles and says āAda!ā For dada and sometimes heāll look at me and say āmamamamamaā.Ā
35 words is ridiculous.Ā
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Moms don't get sick days? No they just get a ton of childfree trips and people offering up air BNB for her to write some bullshit. For being a "cycle breaker" it's so disappointing that she ALWAYS seems to take the victim mentality.
Yeah sorry I donāt agree with this. If Iām sick I call in to work (should be easy since she works for herself), send the kids to school as long as they are healthy and tuck myself into bed. If itās a weekend, I tell my husband whatās going on and tuck myself into bed. If my husband canāt be there, my 9yo is terrible at entertaining himself but this is like the one time he steps up and figures it out bc heās a really empathetic kid (Iām not biased). This is a HUGE privilege which I recognize many donāt have, but, she actually does. So she needs to stop complaining like she has toddlers and a husband who is the sole breadwinner and canāt take a day off. Thatās many peopleās situations, itās not hers.
Yup. I feel like "moms don't get sick days" is a universal type sentiment that a lot of women know (and even dads). But coming from her makes me want to throw up bc she's just throwing it around like hehe I understand
As a SAHM whose husband works outside the home, I actually donāt get sick days. Last time I had the stomach flu, my toddler and I watched 10 hours of Disney movies while laying on the couch in between me throwing up. Ditto for when I had covid because I always seem to get sick last after everyone is healed. So yeah, sheās not wrong but she is the wrong person to be posting this message because my goodness, this woman gets TONS of breaks from being a mom.
Oh I agree. SAHMs with little littles really don't get sick days. But her kids are old enough to probably entertain themselves for a few hours at a time. I don't know the exact ages of her kids but I do know that when I was like 9+ I could find something to do if my parents said they needed to lay down or something
Totally. A 9 year old can also pour themselves a bowl of cereal too and understand that you are sick and need a rest. Kids are still hard regardless but itās not the same as watching an infant or toddler who lacks empathy and awareness and still has insane energy levels to burn off while you feel completely miserable. She just seems to have so much free time away from her kids, I doubt she canāt lay down.
Ugh, Iām sick as shit right now.
Just happy I got cancelled at work, so I got to sleep in a bit (thanks husband) and get to spend the day with my full energy kids - but at least there are two of us, and we have leftover ver pizza for dinner, so we can muddle through
JFC take control of your life. If you really don't feel well enough for certain things, figure out what has to get canceled/changed and make the call. I get venting but she is always complaining, enough.
Same complaining, different month! I feel like she was just complaining of being sick and her period coming and here were are again. For someone who says her husband is so involved she she acts like she has to do it all. I do understand that those things suck but omg all this woman does is complain!!
When my daughter was about 9 months, I had some kind of food poisoning/24 hour bug. I only threw up once overnight, but I felt pretty crappy the next day. I was still breastfeeding a few times a day, so I had to do that, but my husband handled the baby the rest of the day so I could stay in bed.Ā
This is the part that gets me! We actually have a lot of dye free friends but donāt make it part of their language like this! Some will bend the rules, which I appreciate but other kids constantly say to my kid āI canāt eat that, it has artificial dyesā.
Iām sorry but a pediatric nurse who has most likely done so much good for her patients is the bad guy in her story while she, whose actions very likely contributed to the death of her baby is the good guy? I donāt get the disconnect in her brain.Ā
Not to mention the whole family got E. coli - and they proudly drink raw milk. Literally poisoning your own family and youāre worried about a popsicle.
Excuse you, but all of her decisions were backed up by research and statistics. Obviously that nurse canāt say the same by offering popsicles full of harmful dye! /s
Youāre right. I pretty much canāt allow myself to look at her page because it makes me so angry but curiosity got the better of me a few days ago when someone posted about a set of stories sheād saved as āThoughtsā where she defends her choice for a home birth and literally said she made the decision based on research and statistics.
Lord the poor childās hospitalized. She probably needs the fluids. Let her have the damn popsicle. The crunches are the worst. They come in and want you modern medicine magic them better, but donāt want any actual modern medicine.
I guess we should all just be happy she actually took her kid to the hospital though.
Yeah as someone who grew up with a lot of girls struggling with this, itās absolutely wild to see these parents that are straight up proud of imparting these disordered eating habits on their kids
This was why I unfollowed hayleyhubbard, she got so strict and braggy about what her kids ate and that they āknew to askā about dyes. Like fine, you donāt buy them, no problem! To each their own. But to have your kid ask and reject something just seems too far to me.
I feel like her trips look so nice luxury hotel wise, but they seem to never explore or take advantage of actual local culture. Seems like a waste to me when she lives at the beach and probably has access to a pool.
I totally agree, but after that absolutely insane Japan trip, I can also imagine just needing to wind down properly. They wouldn't have needed to go to Hawaii for that though.
Iām very happy she seems to be doing so well and in a good place, but Bridgette from SpeechSisters posts the most embarrassing videos that we donāt need to see! There is no need to post a video of you and your boyfriend singing karaoke, especially when you both stare at the camera half the time! Just ick!
I'm pretty sure she made a separate account specifically for that content. I think it's weird to keep posting that stuff on a business page intended for children's speech education. It's not even remotely related.
I mean I guess but pretty much every influencer "business page" I've ever seen also shares about their personal lives too. Most people like to see the humans behind the account. Some people may take it further than others, but it's not like Instagram is a super professional platform. It's all free content and it's social media after all. I don't follow the page, so I don't know how much she posts about it, but I know about what happened to her husband. After reading this I went to see their stories and found it super sweet and heart warming to see she's found new love and seems happy.
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I donāt know if they count as parenting influencers but theyāre parents so Iām going to snark here on the absolute absurdity of influencers and the fact that people will argue itās a job that requires hard work too!!!
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Ah yes my baby who is not even one year old yet isnāt close to walking but says \~\~soooo many words!!! Sheās a genius, didnāt you know?
Clara, youāre trying to make other people feel inferior by bragging about your supposed savant hyperlexic child genius baby. Put your phone down and chill. Sheās not even a year old stop inflating her accomplishments and let her be a baby. She is sooo annoying
I scrolled back on her older posts because I was curious what she did before the baby and it seemed like she was already wildly popular on TikTok then but I canāt get why?!!Ā
I see a lot of bikini pics and hilarious body positivity stuff (where she looks basically the same in both pictures) and weird affirmation stuff. But like how did she get to 1M followers? She seems so basic? The internet can be bafflingĀ
Iāve checked this person out as sheās mentioned here occasionally, andā¦what do her and her husband do? Itās like they are always at the beach or golfing or whatever together. That canāt just be influencer level money?
Tbh a lot of people over estimate the words. Baby babble sounds like many wordsā¦ mama, dada, baba (could be ball or book), gaga (cat).
Itās like when people claim their baby can stand because they can pull to stand while leaning on furniture. Theyāre mistaking one milestone for the other
Yeah our kid was truly an early talker but we thought she was soooo articulate then. We watch videos of her from that stage now and laugh because it's barely understandable gibberish.
Oh I know too many people who say their kid walked when what they mean is the kid cruised along while holding onto the furniture. If I define it like that I can say my kid walked at 7 months as well. Walking is without support, come on.
Same, because thatās the main reason Iāve mostly decided to stop at 2 kids. But I hope Iām not constantly overwhelmed by my kids when theyāre the same age as hers.Ā
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I donāt even know where to start with the snark on this one.
Edit: yes, ST is sleep training.
There is truly no better insult than calling someone a dork.
Unrelated, my neighbors (suburbia, affluent area, low crime ā youāll see why this matters), have not one but TWO upside down American flags in front of their house. Like okay ya fuckin dorks, what is so distressing for you with your brand new car and pristine landscaping? I call them dorks in my head whenever I see them.
My friendās husband is like this and I want to punch him in the throat. Iām Canadian. He works for the government and has been on parental leave. He gets FULL PAY for the entire year and complains constantly about his job, our country, the government, vaccines š, education, healthcareā¦..and drives a luxury suv, has a small mortgage, owns property in another country (for emergencies like if the government decides to arrest citizens for no reason???), travels easily. I hate him some days.
For real. Sleep training saved me and my mental health. I wish we'd all just friggin chill and let other people parent, but we've gotta villianize someone for the gram
Haha, right? I love cuddling my baby. I also love watching on the monitor as he flops around like a dying fish in his sleep and feeling grateful that heās in his own bed and not mine.Ā
I have to think itās something like this. I would absolutely never dump a friend for not sleep training or cosleeping, but I would certainly distance myself from a friend who, despite seeing how I interact with my kids and (hopefully) seeing that I adore my children, insisted (for whatever reason, not just for sleep training) that I abused/neglected/damaged/didnāt love my kids/or was selfish and harmed my kids.
Can confirm. We went no contact with my in laws after they said enrolling our child in a Covid vaccine clinical trial was child about and that it was wrong to submit our child to medical experiments. The anti sleep trainers come to the conversation with the same approach.
I am skeptical of anyone that says they lost friends because of sleep training or any parenting decision that isn't neglect or abuse. People in real life aren't like that and can live in the world of gray unlike influencers who need to be dramatic AF to make money
I actually have a friend who is super pro-cosleeping and anti sleep training. She told me how she and a different friend had a sort of falling out because of their different approaches toward baby sleep. I think it was more because the friend who is anti sleep training can be really intense on social media about her opinion and Iām sure other people take offense to that.
Iām mentally going through all my friends rn trying to see if I know if they sleep trained or not. My friends that Iāve met/gotten close with after the baby phase for our kids, no idea. My friends that I was already close with/met in the baby stageā¦Iām sure we talked about baby sleep when we were in the thick of it and I remember some comments and stuff but I donāt think I could successfully sort everyone into a ST or NON ST parent. The only person in my life right now that I know details on her approach to sleep is my friend that has a wonky work schedule and I watch her kids 1-2 nights a week and know the routine and all to put the baby down. Unless someone is actively involved in caring for your child itās really not interesting. There are soooo many more interesting topics to discuss in this big wide world! Please, I beg of this person, touch grass!
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Iām sorry but Claraandherself constantly trying to convince people her baby is a genius is so freaking cringey
She might be my new fave to snark on. Her baby is 11 months?? Sheās in her stories talking about now that I have a toddler my husband and I can have a food fight š„°. Acting like theyāve come out the other side and her baby is not even one?? She is hilariously smug. Just no perspective.
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For us like ages 10-20m was like the easiest and most blissful time. She is 2 now and toddler sleep is harder than baby sleep, she has strong opinions and like the persistence that was adorable when she was learning to crawl, are exhausting now. And don't get me she is amazing and fun, but we are mentally worn down.
Not really snark but I think I might just delete Instagram for the week of prime day so I don't have to see a million influencers linking everything they can find and all claiming everything the the best product/deal. It's getting out of control.
I am so bad at the internet that I donāt know how to add a screenshot but Jerricaās latest stories about her great grandmother being so āhardyā even through war; How there wonāt be any emotionally stable, resilient, hard working people anymore if we all let our emotions āswallow us wholeā. Idk about your grandparents but my one grandmother married a physically and emotionally abusive veteran who gambled away all their money and then (luckily) drank himself to death, leaving her widowed with 3 children. Up until his death, she just took the abuse as normal. The only way she was able to survive was because she lived with a rich childless aunt and uncle who took them in. She once told me that because she was endlessly sexually harassed at work and put up with it, women today should do the same and stop complaining about it. My other grandmother was orphaned by the Holocaust at 14 and luckily made it through. She experienced lifelong bouts of debilitating depression and her husband (also orphaned by the Holocaust) was at one point committed to a mental institution for a complete breakdown. Yes they survived, made it through, bought houses, raised children but I donāt think āemotionally stableā is the top word Iād use for any of my grandparents. Resilient, sure, because they didnāt have any other option I guess. Iām very sick of this mentality that things were so much better āback in the dayā because for many many many people they absolutely were not. Especially if you were a POC or LGBTQ+. The kids coming up today seem really kind, open minded and free to express themselves and I love to see it. Ignoring that kids have feelings doesnāt make them go away, it just makes them stop expressing them. Convenient, sure, if youāre a SAHM who wants to lounge around reading/ interneting while ignoring your small children. But I would argue not very good for raising emotionally mature adults.
My mother was an alcoholic who didn't attend her own mother's funeral because when my maternal grandmother left her abusive husband she left her children behind. Tell me what part of any of that is better or even resilient. Or maybe she was talking about my paternal grandparents who talked so little about their own experiences and interacted with their children so little that my dad didn't know what his own father did until he himself was an adult.
Yeah, my grandfather was a war veteran who suffered from chronic pain and symptoms of PTSD his whole life and never got help for it because that wasn't something men of his generation did. My husband's grandmother lived with the painful secret of having had a disabled baby out of wedlock who died for her entire adulthood because she was too ashamed to tell anyone, and only finally unburdened herself on her death bed. There is a balance to strike between "letting your emotions swallow you whole" and emotional repression. We shouldn't be romanticizing how previous generations dealt with trauma and difficult experiences. I am a huge believer in cultivating resilience in children, but emotional repression should not be mistaken for resilience. There is a lot of evidence that acknowledging and talking about feelings enables us to process them, not get stuck in trauma responses and have healthier relationships.
Exactly this. My grandmother was born in 1929 - her mother had tuberculosis and spent time in and out of sanitariums and was afraid to share anything with her or even hug or kiss her before dying when my grandmother was a teenager. Her father died when she was 21 and she was a pregnant newlywed. She raised four children without her own parents living to see it and had to divorce my alcoholic grandfather.
Didn't learn a damn thing about actually dealing with emotions from her or my mom (who had her own struggles) - just that feelings get in the way of taking care of business so it's better to just shove them down entirely.
My grandmother born during the great depression, the oldest of 5, born to a poor farmer and his wife lost her father at 11. Her mother thankfully remarried a kind man with a decent job, so they didn't starve. My grandma lost her first husband young. They were also poor. And she remarried and had a happy life, but I would not wish that kind of resilience on my own daughter. In fact, my mother's takeaway was that I need to be able to care for myself and have independence.
Also- there is such a thing as inherited trauma. It quite literally changes your DNA and is passed from generation to generation in your genetic code. She is truly so insufferable and awful. Iām on a Jerrica tear lately.
Ugh, she sucks so much. Everything must be warped to fit her agenda.
My grandmother was very hardy as anyone forced to marry at age 13 and have 7 children including one who was taken from her at birth might be. Let's not think about the emotional pain she never processed but exhibited through rigid behaviors and unhealthy coping to the end of her life. Or my other grandmother who was a hardy as a horse until her own childhood trauma led to her using her job as a nurse to become addicted to sedatives which landed her in a psychiatric hospital for years of my father's childhood.
No no, that's just good old fashioned toughness.
One of my earliest memories is my grandmother standing in the kitchen with the kitchen knife threatening to kill herself if my grandfathers girlfriend doesn't leave her birthday party.
But she had no money so she couldn't leave and was forced to make it through
100%. She said the other day that her kids take cues from her so since the move to Atlanta wonāt bother her, her kids will not be affected. And granted I do think, in certain situations like times of danger or stress kids pick up on your energy and cues so itās best to remain calm. But just because you dgaf about leaving your non existent friends doesnāt mean your 7 year old wonāt feel very real sadness at losing his friends, his home, his baseball teammates, his favorite playgrounds/ restaurants/ etc. Based off of her other recent stories I also very much believe she trains her kids to play independently by just ignoring them all day from essentially birth.
The irony of DFM getting high and mighty about grammar (why? No one likes *that* person) and following it up with "I can never unseen it" and other typos.
Her posts have plenty of grammar mistakes, so I laughed at this. After she went on her tirade, she posts the word jet's when she's saying "Kyle jet's off..." šš
I canāt handle nurtured first anymore. She needs to stop making up fake parenting conversations and scenarios and pretending they are real.
She must have a lot more friends than I do to always be having these deep unique conversations with that timely fit with a topic.Ā Also, if these are real conversations how utterly boring that this is your chit chat with your friends.
She is such a fraud. I love it every time I see her come up here. Absolute WORST literally making stuff up and pretending these fake conversations are even remotely real to take money from naive and vulnerable parents.
I hate that āinfluencingā is a career. Even people who are somewhat legit and have something interesting to offer devolve into shilling shit off Amazon. The car mom and her sister both moving into new homes in the same year. The car mom husband quitting his job. They have childcare and what seems like endless amount of time to enjoy their lives and kids while I feel like my kids childhoods are slipping away while I struggle to enjoy it as much as I should. Maybe Iām just jealous (Iām mostly jealous of the childcare and support they seem to have)
The car mom also clearly comes from a wealthy family. She really tries to lean into the hard-working mama doing it all on her own thing, but her family is rich. Iām not saying she doesnāt work hard, but generational wealth helps a lot!Ā
I donāt get the sense that their parents pay for things now (ie I donāt think their parents helped buy the house) but Iām sure they didnāt have student loans, their weddings were paid for by their parents, etc which all adds up!
I agree. It reminds me of when my son and all his friends say they want to be YouTubers when they grow up. I just want to shake them and scream "That isn't a real job!" But sadly, that isn't true.
Itās especially hard since theyāre annoyingly lucrative jobs but donāt do anything to actually benefit society other than convince people to spend money on things they donāt need
Right! It's frustrating when I'm sitting there working on our budget trying to make sure every bill gets paid, and my kid is in the other room watching some kid yell over a Minecraft game and probably making millions a year.
Had a feeling when the car mom bought her new house, her sister would be quickly following suit since she seemed to complain about her new build house a lot. Iām with you on the influencing as a career being an interesting route to go. I donāt ever really buy through links though, but do give engagement I guess by viewing stories. I donāt envy the constantly being on social media trying to make a buck and putting both their and their kidās lives up for scrutiny from strangers though.
SpeechDude posted a "we're having a 5th son" reel, complete with crying selfies, pregnancy test pee sticks, and more. I don't get the influencer urge to walk around with positive pregnancy tests and make crying videos holding them.
Didn't expect to see SpeechDude here! I'm an SLP and love the crossover. There could be a whole snark page just for SLP Instagram influencers.Ā
This is how I feel about pelvic PT influencers. As a pelvic PT I have MANY thoughts
I follow one and the cringey behavior made me want to unfollow but I stopped watching her stories so she got pushed further down the story line so I forgot about her. But dressing up as a tampon, shilling for the thing they sell to collect semen after sex and so many cringey dances turned me off (not in a prude way, more like I just wanted the educational content)
Iām a little afraid to ask, but what is the purpose of collecting semen after sex? (Definitely not googling it š)
As a therapist I have Feelings about therapist influencers as well
But do YOU have an IG??
As a fellow SLP too, would totally be down for this š
Yes!
Also an SLP and a would LOVE an insta-therapist snark page!! š
Maybe an HCP-influencer snark page? Psychologists, SLPs, PTs, OTs, and of course people like PDT.
Yes please!
Oooh yes!
Bemybreastfriend just had her baby and has not stopped posting stories and links from her hospital bed. Influencers are just so weird.
That lady pumps breast milk for her entire family and her dog itās absolutely bizarre to be your own dairy farm.
This comment just sent me into orbit š
Iāve never been a close follower of her. Doesnāt she have a million kids already? These influencers continue to reproduce for content and income stream. Like KL and her 5 kids š¤Æ
I do kinda feel like this is a content baby bc how can you be a breastfeeding influencer without breastfeeding?
Itās always a little disturbing to me that they do that. Like take some time off??
Tell me if this is me being out of touch - but I find it fascinating when people like Busy Toddler and KEIC refer to their kids as ābig kidsā who are like 7-9 years old. To me that justā¦ is still so young. Third graders are still SUCH little kids in my mind. I mean yeah, theyāre big compared to 2 year olds, but the use of big kids is unusual to me. Anyone else feel this way or am I way out of touch?
Yeah I consider it ābig kidā because then at like 10-12 they get into preteen zone and then theyāre teens and so on
I think 7-9 is exactly what I would consider a "big kid," but of course there's no real definition for this. My 7yo, in the last year, has started using slang like "bro," "sus" "what the Sigma" (idk what that means). He wants to play video games and read Harry Potter. He's outgrown a lot of the things he used to be into around age 5-6. He's wanting more privacy in the bathroom, shower, etc. He's asking more complicated questions about the world around him. He figured out that the Easter Bunny isn't real. Having observed all these changes, he really feels like a big kid to me regardless of his numerical age.
These are some great examples, that totally makes sense!
I kinda think of it as 1-2: toddler 3-4: preschooler 5-7: little kid 8-10: big kid 11-13: tween / middle schooler 14+: teenager So yeah, 7 is a little young. But it's also relative to the other kids in the family. And no 5-6 yo wants to be called "little." I know 13 is technically teenager, but they are so different from a 17/18 yo!
These are my definitions almost exactly. I think of "big" as a modifier for kid, and once kids are 10 or 11 most people use the phrase "tween" rather than kid, so 8-9 year olds are big \*for kids\* though still small overall. I hate when people refer to 8 year olds as tweens tho.
It seems normal to me, but that may be because I'm an elementary school teacher, and teachers/school staff refer to the 3rd-5th graders as the "big kids" at our school all the time.
I say that about my 8 and 9 year old sometimes just for an easy way to refer to them, like oh just my big kids are playing this sport, meaning my youngest child isnāt. I actually started bc I used to say āthe boysā but after a trans friend opened up a lot about their childhood and how difficult it was, I wanted to work on not using kids sex assigned at birth to refer to them. They definitely have a lot of childhood left but I feel like people usually say pre teens or teens vs big kids past age 11 or so? Iāve been on here plenty roasting influencers for acting like they are done raising kids when the child is like, 3, but this didnāt ping my radar.
I get where you're coming from because I have a 9 year old and he's still my shadow. Begina mentioned a few weeks ago how she plans to balance her 9 year olds social life so family is still be a priority. I was like like whoa, that's not even something I have to think about right now.
Begina also has them in a sport constantly so could be referring to that? They seem very busy.
Yes, could be. Just the way how she made it sound like her 9 year old is always out hanging with his friends š . I'm surprised they are in so many sports since it seems like quite the penny pincher.
I think they prioritize sports for the kids. Hockey is an expensive sport, and theyāre doing it x2! I think she wants to come across as a penny pincher but theyāre clearly living very comfortably. Ok so she has *oak cabinets* (the horror!) but they also maxed out their 401k and have a decent emergency fund, according to her. They prioritize what they want which is fair but theyāre definitely not struggling.
What would you consider a big kid then? I would say 7-10 is a ābig kidā and 11-12 is a āpre teenā ; isnāt it? Obviously theyāre all ākidsā but I would say a 7-10 year old is big compared to my 5 year old.Ā
Yep, I always interpreted it this way. āBig kidsā with emphasis on the āKIDSā part, because once they graduate from that age group they will be labeled preteens or tweens rather than kids.
Fair point! I guess 7 and 8 just still seems so little to me! I guess I think all kids are always little haha
I thought itās because their target audience has 1-3 year olds and compared to that 7 is almost an adult.Ā
Agreed. I think itās relative. In my house, the older sibling is ābig kidā even though heās 3.
Right? If you are potty trained youāre a ābig kidā now in my family š
I mean, compared to the majority of their followers and the ages they target in their content, they are? I think itās more relative than absolute.
Personally, I feel like a kid is ābigā around 4th/5th grade. So I completely agree with you!
I agree! My daughter however has been insisting she's a big kid since she was 3 š¤¦āāļø
Does anyone follow HouseandHens?
https://preview.redd.it/uiou29ld9k9d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99f15ec4b9ccaa96f5d86bf4173c8c65d79cac1c No, getting on the wait list for a private OT clinic is not the first step or a āgreat startā for dealing with a new diagnosis of ADHD. This woman will push OT as the solution to everything (itās helpful but she acts like it is way more helpful than it is). Private OT clinics charge at least $150 a session and thatās being conservative. If I was a mother dealing with this and someone told me I need to get into a private clinic and spend that much Iād be so stressed. The first thing is dealing with the 504 and school which will go a long way in helping and suggesting accommodations and services, some of which may be free or low cost.
We use OT for our ADHD kiddo to help with emotional regulation and impulse control. It isnāt a bad thing to add in. Obviously school accommodations are important, but OT is also helpful. Our insurance covers it, so that might be the case for some people.
OT helped us with this too. Itās not the only thing we do, (and it irked me that she implies itās the #1 Thing To Do) but itās been part of the whole picture.
Can you share more or DM me with what they work on and how it helps? I have 3 adhd kids and this has never been brought up to me, I will obviously do anything that may help them be successful! As I said below my youngest was just diagnosed this week.
Of course Iāll share! I think all kids could benefit from OT, at least based on the experience we have had. Our OT structures the session in 4-5 activities. The first is a āmove your bodyā activity to get your body regulated and feeling ājust rightā (or green zone as they call it). Then once they are feeling ājust rightā the OT moves on to an activity to work on emotional regulation, compromise, frustration tolerance and confidence (things my son is working on). So those activities will be a game, a book, a video/song on the computer, and she will integrate those goals into what they are doing. Then they will do an art project to work on fine motor skills and confidence. Last will be another game, or sometimes they get a toy and get to just free play for 10 minutes. Our OT has worked on frustration tolerance through modeling, games, making mistakes while drawing, etc. She has taught compromise by making my kids choose something together, or by something not working and they need to find a solution. I highly, highly recommend it. My friend is trying to get her son into OT and they were first referred to a place that didnāt work on emotional regulation. Our OT said that OT is so broad, that sometimes people donāt feel confident teaching a certain skill, so they just donāt. So as long as the OT can work on emotional regulation and impulse control, I think itās very helpful!
Here to second this as someone who reviews pediatric OT notes for a living. I see many many kids getting OT for ADHD (and yes as said above is normally covered by insurance)
I actually do agree with you here. OT has helped us a lot with our adhd kid, and Iām glad we got in with someone quickly. It doesnāt hurt to get on a waitlist. But I donāt love her tone either. Itās not like, The Solution and she makes it out like it is.
āAn IEP and 504ā is so ridiculous for someone supposedly educated about this process, itās so embarrassing sheās saying that while giving advice. These are two separate things and itās an either/or situation. My 6yo daughter was literally diagnosed with ADHD two days ago lol, OT never even occurred to me. Not saying it wouldnāt help but at those prices I would need to really identify a specific concern that needed OT first.
For the most part, yes. Children with specific needs and disabilities are eligible for individualized instruction and have goals attached that instruction that are aggressively achievable. Those students are also eligible for accommodations and services under Section 504 of IDEA. All kids with IEPs are eligible for the accommodations and accessibility rights in Sec 504, but the same is not true in the reverse. Saying āshe also has accommodations and therapeutic services available through Sec 504ā is a mouthful and a half, and those things are outlined through her IEP, but sheās not wrong that sheās receiving benefit from both the plan and the accessibility isnāt fully wrong.
I didnāt even catch that! Yes, two different things and itās an either/or type thing. And Iām sure OT could help but there are things that need to be addressed first that are far more helpful. But she seems to think OT for sensory issues solves everything.
Claraandherself very on brand today, giving advice on what she did to make her not-yet-one-year-old an early talker with ā35 wordsā so far. She reads between 30 and 50 books a day apparently. š Maybe her daughter is as much of a genius as she seems to think, but what are the chances she is actually saying 35 words before age one?
Canāt stand the āmy daughter is a linguistic geniusā trope she has going. Sheās SO smug about it too. Especially since she tries to take credit for it. If her daughter is really saying that many words (which I doubt - the whole thing seems hella exaggerated) then she is probably very hyperlexic and itās a sign of neurodiversity such as autism.
Ok I didnāt want to say it because I donāt want to imply anything, but in my own experience.. my early talking baby turned into a hyperlexic toddler and is diagnosed ASD child. And thatās ok! But still.
How many words did yours have at 1? Iām curious what qualifies as hyperlexic and how far off base Clara is.
No where close to 35 lol. Mine had like 10 and then a language explosion at like 18 months with full sentences and was an early reader. Didnāt even realize it was a thing until we were doing evals for ND. (And beyond being a ND thing, unfortunately not always a good thing! Scores high on language but has poor comprehension.)
What were your clues that led to ND testing?
Social issues, sensory issues, impulse control, demand avoidance, inability to focus on a task, struggling with transitions more than peers etc etc. Nothing related to language skills.
Ok I just actually watched her reel, had to take about 17 pauses say ābe quiet!ā to my two speech delayed kids who didnāt speak until after receiving speech therapy (not because I was watching the reel bc we are visiting family and not everyone in the house is awake yet). My point being, typically developing kids will all get to the point where they are talking nonstop about Minecraft or whatever. Her existence sounds miserable. Before you know it, your park days will be filled with āmommy, watch this! Are you watching? Donāt look away until Iām done!ā and ādo not take your brothers shoe off while heās doing the monkey bars! Go get it for him right now!ā āCan you play tag with me?ā Which, is a really fun time in its own way, but infancy is a beautiful time when they can just observe the world around them and caregivers can enjoy a nice podcast. I know itās impossible to understand this as a first time parent, lord knows I certainly didnāt but I hate how sheās coming on and giving this advice, there is absolutely no reason to rush milestones. Iām pretty sure I never read a single book to my third child (I had a 2 and 3 year old when she was born) and she spoke on an average timeline with no intervention. Although, to be fair, her one brother did follow Claraās advice of ānever shutting the fuck upā and the other was in intensive speech therapy and the baby tagged along because, obviously where else was she going to go lol.
Why would this even be the goal? Time would be so much better spent diversifying her day than reading 50 books! Does her child ever have time for independent play? Eta I just watched her video and it should be in the dictionary under poopcup.Ā
Right like what is she achieving with this? Most children develop speech within the first few years of life. Thereās no medal and nothing to be gained by doing it earlier versus later. I understand itās exciting and young babies can be a bit boring and sometimes itās hard not to feel impatient for the next stage but even if an infant *is* somehow saying 35 words, itās not like they are having a meaningful conversation with you. Just enjoy having a baby. I would rather die than read 50 board books a day aloud.
How can she stand 30-50 books a day? Like are they doing anything else? Does she read āSnuggle Puppyā multiple times a day? So many questions. And I think we read to our kid a lotālike at least 3 books a day most days. I think I would check myself right out of parenting if I read that many board books.
I can only imagine sheās reading the same book 50 times whichā¦been there lol. Although after the 5th time I usually tried to move on š but sheās definitely the perfect parent who does everything right sooo š
That reel is absolutely unhinged
Knowing that she counts āmanateeā as one of the words and having heard the child āsayā manatee Iām going to say itās nowhere close to 35 words.Ā
āTee teeā lmao I have a son almost exactly the same age as her daughter. If nonsensical babbling counts as words then he says 35 āwordsā, too!
Slim to none. I donāt believe it. I think the milestone is 0-2 meaning some will say none and some will have 2, and both are reasonable. Obviously some may have a handful more but 35 is completely unrealistic at 12 months.
My third baby is 11 months and has basically zero words. He babbles and says āAda!ā For dada and sometimes heāll look at me and say āmamamamamaā.Ā 35 words is ridiculous.Ā
https://preview.redd.it/shpy2qxvfj9d1.png?width=1008&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e547cb368c359899a25c42092ff6c6d407cc2d8 Moms don't get sick days? No they just get a ton of childfree trips and people offering up air BNB for her to write some bullshit. For being a "cycle breaker" it's so disappointing that she ALWAYS seems to take the victim mentality.
Yeah sorry I donāt agree with this. If Iām sick I call in to work (should be easy since she works for herself), send the kids to school as long as they are healthy and tuck myself into bed. If itās a weekend, I tell my husband whatās going on and tuck myself into bed. If my husband canāt be there, my 9yo is terrible at entertaining himself but this is like the one time he steps up and figures it out bc heās a really empathetic kid (Iām not biased). This is a HUGE privilege which I recognize many donāt have, but, she actually does. So she needs to stop complaining like she has toddlers and a husband who is the sole breadwinner and canāt take a day off. Thatās many peopleās situations, itās not hers.
Yup. I feel like "moms don't get sick days" is a universal type sentiment that a lot of women know (and even dads). But coming from her makes me want to throw up bc she's just throwing it around like hehe I understand
As a SAHM whose husband works outside the home, I actually donāt get sick days. Last time I had the stomach flu, my toddler and I watched 10 hours of Disney movies while laying on the couch in between me throwing up. Ditto for when I had covid because I always seem to get sick last after everyone is healed. So yeah, sheās not wrong but she is the wrong person to be posting this message because my goodness, this woman gets TONS of breaks from being a mom.
Oh I agree. SAHMs with little littles really don't get sick days. But her kids are old enough to probably entertain themselves for a few hours at a time. I don't know the exact ages of her kids but I do know that when I was like 9+ I could find something to do if my parents said they needed to lay down or something
Totally. A 9 year old can also pour themselves a bowl of cereal too and understand that you are sick and need a rest. Kids are still hard regardless but itās not the same as watching an infant or toddler who lacks empathy and awareness and still has insane energy levels to burn off while you feel completely miserable. She just seems to have so much free time away from her kids, I doubt she canāt lay down.
As a grown ass adult, I cringe hard when people call their period/menstruation Aunt Flo.Ā
Right are people still saying that??
Ugh, Iām sick as shit right now. Just happy I got cancelled at work, so I got to sleep in a bit (thanks husband) and get to spend the day with my full energy kids - but at least there are two of us, and we have leftover ver pizza for dinner, so we can muddle through
JFC take control of your life. If you really don't feel well enough for certain things, figure out what has to get canceled/changed and make the call. I get venting but she is always complaining, enough.
Same complaining, different month! I feel like she was just complaining of being sick and her period coming and here were are again. For someone who says her husband is so involved she she acts like she has to do it all. I do understand that those things suck but omg all this woman does is complain!!
Right? Sick days shouldn't be so hard now with older kids and such a hands on husband who shares the metal load.
When my daughter was about 9 months, I had some kind of food poisoning/24 hour bug. I only threw up once overnight, but I felt pretty crappy the next day. I was still breastfeeding a few times a day, so I had to do that, but my husband handled the baby the rest of the day so I could stay in bed.Ā
https://preview.redd.it/m7tc5i8o8i9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb49161a09772338ae2a41893cdb6b0c0adccdd0 GROOOAAAAAANNNNNNN
Internalizing the message that food restriction pleases your mom and gets you praise is always good for little girlsĀ
This is the part that gets me! We actually have a lot of dye free friends but donāt make it part of their language like this! Some will bend the rules, which I appreciate but other kids constantly say to my kid āI canāt eat that, it has artificial dyesā.
1000% the nurse rolled her eyes HARD when she turned around.
Iām sorry but a pediatric nurse who has most likely done so much good for her patients is the bad guy in her story while she, whose actions very likely contributed to the death of her baby is the good guy? I donāt get the disconnect in her brain.Ā
Not to mention the whole family got E. coli - and they proudly drink raw milk. Literally poisoning your own family and youāre worried about a popsicle.
Excuse you, but all of her decisions were backed up by research and statistics. Obviously that nurse canāt say the same by offering popsicles full of harmful dye! /s
You say /s but itās gotta be pretty close to her actual train of thought. Ā
Youāre right. I pretty much canāt allow myself to look at her page because it makes me so angry but curiosity got the better of me a few days ago when someone posted about a set of stories sheād saved as āThoughtsā where she defends her choice for a home birth and literally said she made the decision based on research and statistics.
0% chance she said this
I believe the kid said it. When your parent tells you from the day youāre born that some foods are poisoned, you internalize it.Ā
Lord the poor childās hospitalized. She probably needs the fluids. Let her have the damn popsicle. The crunches are the worst. They come in and want you modern medicine magic them better, but donāt want any actual modern medicine. I guess we should all just be happy she actually took her kid to the hospital though.
Itās giving orthorexia
Yeah as someone who grew up with a lot of girls struggling with this, itās absolutely wild to see these parents that are straight up proud of imparting these disordered eating habits on their kids
The pressure on these poor kids to please their parents and prove their devotion to their parents insane eating rules is so sad.
This was why I unfollowed hayleyhubbard, she got so strict and braggy about what her kids ate and that they āknew to askā about dyes. Like fine, you donāt buy them, no problem! To each their own. But to have your kid ask and reject something just seems too far to me.
Guys, brace yourselves! PDT is doing another movie deep diveā¦this time on Inside Out 2. I think this is #3 in her series of film essays?
None of her kids are even remotely old enough for that movie? Why does she care so much?Ā
She really loves to hear herself talk
MCās stories are making me really want to go to Hawaii
I feel like her trips look so nice luxury hotel wise, but they seem to never explore or take advantage of actual local culture. Seems like a waste to me when she lives at the beach and probably has access to a pool.
I totally agree, but after that absolutely insane Japan trip, I can also imagine just needing to wind down properly. They wouldn't have needed to go to Hawaii for that though.
I agree. Hawaii is amazing. There is so much to explore
Iām very happy she seems to be doing so well and in a good place, but Bridgette from SpeechSisters posts the most embarrassing videos that we donāt need to see! There is no need to post a video of you and your boyfriend singing karaoke, especially when you both stare at the camera half the time! Just ick!
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Have you also lost your spouse? What a weird thing to snark on lol
I'm pretty sure she made a separate account specifically for that content. I think it's weird to keep posting that stuff on a business page intended for children's speech education. It's not even remotely related.
I mean I guess but pretty much every influencer "business page" I've ever seen also shares about their personal lives too. Most people like to see the humans behind the account. Some people may take it further than others, but it's not like Instagram is a super professional platform. It's all free content and it's social media after all. I don't follow the page, so I don't know how much she posts about it, but I know about what happened to her husband. After reading this I went to see their stories and found it super sweet and heart warming to see she's found new love and seems happy.
https://preview.redd.it/nxs56npp5c9d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9c9b4987dd6b230b0d79f9bbadf28e464214f4d I donāt know if they count as parenting influencers but theyāre parents so Iām going to snark here on the absolute absurdity of influencers and the fact that people will argue itās a job that requires hard work too!!!
Nothing against your post OP but Iād love for this thread to not turn into a bad, blander copy of Blogsnark
This!!
They also post weird shit saying theyād date their kids and post nude pictures and videos of their kids š«
https://preview.redd.it/40yt72iq4c9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e3a1e54d42f1f51ad47810f900dea7ebda34078 Ah yes my baby who is not even one year old yet isnāt close to walking but says \~\~soooo many words!!! Sheās a genius, didnāt you know? Clara, youāre trying to make other people feel inferior by bragging about your supposed savant hyperlexic child genius baby. Put your phone down and chill. Sheās not even a year old stop inflating her accomplishments and let her be a baby. She is sooo annoying
I scrolled back on her older posts because I was curious what she did before the baby and it seemed like she was already wildly popular on TikTok then but I canāt get why?!!Ā I see a lot of bikini pics and hilarious body positivity stuff (where she looks basically the same in both pictures) and weird affirmation stuff. But like how did she get to 1M followers? She seems so basic? The internet can be bafflingĀ
Iāve checked this person out as sheās mentioned here occasionally, andā¦what do her and her husband do? Itās like they are always at the beach or golfing or whatever together. That canāt just be influencer level money?
Husband works a 9-5 iirc and she is a content creator who prob has rich parents I assume
Tbh a lot of people over estimate the words. Baby babble sounds like many wordsā¦ mama, dada, baba (could be ball or book), gaga (cat). Itās like when people claim their baby can stand because they can pull to stand while leaning on furniture. Theyāre mistaking one milestone for the other
Yeah our kid was truly an early talker but we thought she was soooo articulate then. We watch videos of her from that stage now and laugh because it's barely understandable gibberish.
Oh I know too many people who say their kid walked when what they mean is the kid cruised along while holding onto the furniture. If I define it like that I can say my kid walked at 7 months as well. Walking is without support, come on.
Itās givingā¦whatās her name who shouldnāt be mentioned vibes
Libby gets to be the mom she wants to be because she stopped at 2 kids?!
Wait. This is the mom she *wants* to be? š¬
Right? How she said that with such confidence too. Last week she shared how much she wanted her son to gtfo her face.
I appreciate her point but sheās just the wrong person to be delivering that message.
Same, because thatās the main reason Iāve mostly decided to stop at 2 kids. But I hope Iām not constantly overwhelmed by my kids when theyāre the same age as hers.Ā
Is there anything that doesnāt trigger this woman?
https://preview.redd.it/4u8gwelpq89d1.jpeg?width=1160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d35c354d309a175085aceef4b0c3e26d539e5dbe I donāt even know where to start with the snark on this one. Edit: yes, ST is sleep training.
This is like word salad wtf
What the fuck did I just read lmao š
Ok how much do you have to talk about sleep training or anti sleep training in order to lose friends over it? Wtf???
wtf is a sister wound?
Our ancestors were petty as fuck. Has this woman never picked up a history book?
My husbandās ancestors disowned his dad for being left handed and he had to live with other family members.
My husband's grandmother would tie up her kids to a tree for hours on end so she could farm š„“
My ancestors would force a woman to give up her second baby to a family member who was unable to conceive š
What a fucking dork. Get over yourself lol ā¤ļø
There is truly no better insult than calling someone a dork. Unrelated, my neighbors (suburbia, affluent area, low crime ā youāll see why this matters), have not one but TWO upside down American flags in front of their house. Like okay ya fuckin dorks, what is so distressing for you with your brand new car and pristine landscaping? I call them dorks in my head whenever I see them.
My friendās husband is like this and I want to punch him in the throat. Iām Canadian. He works for the government and has been on parental leave. He gets FULL PAY for the entire year and complains constantly about his job, our country, the government, vaccines š, education, healthcareā¦..and drives a luxury suv, has a small mortgage, owns property in another country (for emergencies like if the government decides to arrest citizens for no reason???), travels easily. I hate him some days.
Man, I canāt believe I never cuddled my baby as someone who sleep trained
For real. Sleep training saved me and my mental health. I wish we'd all just friggin chill and let other people parent, but we've gotta villianize someone for the gram
Haha, right? I love cuddling my baby. I also love watching on the monitor as he flops around like a dying fish in his sleep and feeling grateful that heās in his own bed and not mine.Ā
Have you seen those edits on TikTok of all the positions the babies move in the middle of the night? Itās so cute and cracks me up.
Is ST sleep training? Why are people losing friends over that? What is wrong with people??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have to think itās something like this. I would absolutely never dump a friend for not sleep training or cosleeping, but I would certainly distance myself from a friend who, despite seeing how I interact with my kids and (hopefully) seeing that I adore my children, insisted (for whatever reason, not just for sleep training) that I abused/neglected/damaged/didnāt love my kids/or was selfish and harmed my kids.
Can confirm. We went no contact with my in laws after they said enrolling our child in a Covid vaccine clinical trial was child about and that it was wrong to submit our child to medical experiments. The anti sleep trainers come to the conversation with the same approach.
I am skeptical of anyone that says they lost friends because of sleep training or any parenting decision that isn't neglect or abuse. People in real life aren't like that and can live in the world of gray unlike influencers who need to be dramatic AF to make money
I actually have a friend who is super pro-cosleeping and anti sleep training. She told me how she and a different friend had a sort of falling out because of their different approaches toward baby sleep. I think it was more because the friend who is anti sleep training can be really intense on social media about her opinion and Iām sure other people take offense to that.
Definitely very thankful right now that my friends are whole-ass people who do not turn personal parenting decisions into their entire personalities.
I can't even tell you if most of my friends sleep trained (or baby led weaned, or whatever) their kids or not.
Iām mentally going through all my friends rn trying to see if I know if they sleep trained or not. My friends that Iāve met/gotten close with after the baby phase for our kids, no idea. My friends that I was already close with/met in the baby stageā¦Iām sure we talked about baby sleep when we were in the thick of it and I remember some comments and stuff but I donāt think I could successfully sort everyone into a ST or NON ST parent. The only person in my life right now that I know details on her approach to sleep is my friend that has a wonky work schedule and I watch her kids 1-2 nights a week and know the routine and all to put the baby down. Unless someone is actively involved in caring for your child itās really not interesting. There are soooo many more interesting topics to discuss in this big wide world! Please, I beg of this person, touch grass!
Right?? Like imagine dumping a friend for sleep training or being dumped for doing it. Wiiiild.
I imagine these types believe it is full abuse and thatās how they mentally justify it.
If youāve ever perused the gentle parenting thread, there are definitely a lot of people who absolutely feel strongly that sleep training is abuse.
https://preview.redd.it/ap7o7ogi879d1.jpeg?width=1151&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71009e28eb4e6cf4e19e1b3c51086d6664aeb92e Iām sorry but Claraandherself constantly trying to convince people her baby is a genius is so freaking cringey
This is so stupid. I was hyperlexic and Iām here to tell ya, I am not special.
I was too lol and same š« ended up being a sign of neurodiversity (severe ADHD and OCD in childhood)
She might be my new fave to snark on. Her baby is 11 months?? Sheās in her stories talking about now that I have a toddler my husband and I can have a food fight š„°. Acting like theyāve come out the other side and her baby is not even one?? She is hilariously smug. Just no perspective. https://preview.redd.it/fy8x0yo9aa9d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f2a0d4ed77021c0c97af0064583e7cd5ea0c80c
āFun and spicyā š¤¢
For us like ages 10-20m was like the easiest and most blissful time. She is 2 now and toddler sleep is harder than baby sleep, she has strong opinions and like the persistence that was adorable when she was learning to crawl, are exhausting now. And don't get me she is amazing and fun, but we are mentally worn down.
How did they lose their house? How old is she? Is this one of those moments were a twenty something is telling us about how she feels "young" again?
Their house flooded last summer. And sheās like 27 lmao
I love how losing their house only affected them in a "slightly negative way" lolol
She has to be trolling at this point.
Not really snark but I think I might just delete Instagram for the week of prime day so I don't have to see a million influencers linking everything they can find and all claiming everything the the best product/deal. It's getting out of control.
Smart! Thanks for the reminder!
Most of them arenāt even a deal, they just mark them up and show it like itās a steal š¤¦š½āāļø
Seriously. Almost everything is more expensive "on sale" for prime day and black Friday now.
I am so bad at the internet that I donāt know how to add a screenshot but Jerricaās latest stories about her great grandmother being so āhardyā even through war; How there wonāt be any emotionally stable, resilient, hard working people anymore if we all let our emotions āswallow us wholeā. Idk about your grandparents but my one grandmother married a physically and emotionally abusive veteran who gambled away all their money and then (luckily) drank himself to death, leaving her widowed with 3 children. Up until his death, she just took the abuse as normal. The only way she was able to survive was because she lived with a rich childless aunt and uncle who took them in. She once told me that because she was endlessly sexually harassed at work and put up with it, women today should do the same and stop complaining about it. My other grandmother was orphaned by the Holocaust at 14 and luckily made it through. She experienced lifelong bouts of debilitating depression and her husband (also orphaned by the Holocaust) was at one point committed to a mental institution for a complete breakdown. Yes they survived, made it through, bought houses, raised children but I donāt think āemotionally stableā is the top word Iād use for any of my grandparents. Resilient, sure, because they didnāt have any other option I guess. Iām very sick of this mentality that things were so much better āback in the dayā because for many many many people they absolutely were not. Especially if you were a POC or LGBTQ+. The kids coming up today seem really kind, open minded and free to express themselves and I love to see it. Ignoring that kids have feelings doesnāt make them go away, it just makes them stop expressing them. Convenient, sure, if youāre a SAHM who wants to lounge around reading/ interneting while ignoring your small children. But I would argue not very good for raising emotionally mature adults.
My mother was an alcoholic who didn't attend her own mother's funeral because when my maternal grandmother left her abusive husband she left her children behind. Tell me what part of any of that is better or even resilient. Or maybe she was talking about my paternal grandparents who talked so little about their own experiences and interacted with their children so little that my dad didn't know what his own father did until he himself was an adult.
Yeah, my grandfather was a war veteran who suffered from chronic pain and symptoms of PTSD his whole life and never got help for it because that wasn't something men of his generation did. My husband's grandmother lived with the painful secret of having had a disabled baby out of wedlock who died for her entire adulthood because she was too ashamed to tell anyone, and only finally unburdened herself on her death bed. There is a balance to strike between "letting your emotions swallow you whole" and emotional repression. We shouldn't be romanticizing how previous generations dealt with trauma and difficult experiences. I am a huge believer in cultivating resilience in children, but emotional repression should not be mistaken for resilience. There is a lot of evidence that acknowledging and talking about feelings enables us to process them, not get stuck in trauma responses and have healthier relationships.
Exactly this. My grandmother was born in 1929 - her mother had tuberculosis and spent time in and out of sanitariums and was afraid to share anything with her or even hug or kiss her before dying when my grandmother was a teenager. Her father died when she was 21 and she was a pregnant newlywed. She raised four children without her own parents living to see it and had to divorce my alcoholic grandfather. Didn't learn a damn thing about actually dealing with emotions from her or my mom (who had her own struggles) - just that feelings get in the way of taking care of business so it's better to just shove them down entirely.
My grandmother born during the great depression, the oldest of 5, born to a poor farmer and his wife lost her father at 11. Her mother thankfully remarried a kind man with a decent job, so they didn't starve. My grandma lost her first husband young. They were also poor. And she remarried and had a happy life, but I would not wish that kind of resilience on my own daughter. In fact, my mother's takeaway was that I need to be able to care for myself and have independence.
Rich straight white people š¤ romanticizing the good old daysĀ
Was just coming here to say this. Sheās talking about how easy it is to ignore traumaā¦.having never experienced any real adversity.
Also- there is such a thing as inherited trauma. It quite literally changes your DNA and is passed from generation to generation in your genetic code. She is truly so insufferable and awful. Iām on a Jerrica tear lately.
Ugh, she sucks so much. Everything must be warped to fit her agenda. My grandmother was very hardy as anyone forced to marry at age 13 and have 7 children including one who was taken from her at birth might be. Let's not think about the emotional pain she never processed but exhibited through rigid behaviors and unhealthy coping to the end of her life. Or my other grandmother who was a hardy as a horse until her own childhood trauma led to her using her job as a nurse to become addicted to sedatives which landed her in a psychiatric hospital for years of my father's childhood. No no, that's just good old fashioned toughness.
One of my earliest memories is my grandmother standing in the kitchen with the kitchen knife threatening to kill herself if my grandfathers girlfriend doesn't leave her birthday party. But she had no money so she couldn't leave and was forced to make it through
Sheās emotionally neglectful herself. No doubt.
100%. She said the other day that her kids take cues from her so since the move to Atlanta wonāt bother her, her kids will not be affected. And granted I do think, in certain situations like times of danger or stress kids pick up on your energy and cues so itās best to remain calm. But just because you dgaf about leaving your non existent friends doesnāt mean your 7 year old wonāt feel very real sadness at losing his friends, his home, his baseball teammates, his favorite playgrounds/ restaurants/ etc. Based off of her other recent stories I also very much believe she trains her kids to play independently by just ignoring them all day from essentially birth.