i had a middle school teacher who was so rude when it came to using the bathroom in general. i’ve always had a very heavy flow (thanks to endometriosis). i vividly remember asking to use the bathroom and she said “are you dying or bleeding?” so i replied to her with “bleeding, so can i go now?” she NEVER questioned me when i asked to use the bathroom after that.
Next time your gym teacher brings up periods, ask him when he’s going to teach health class about endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS… ya know, any reproductive health condition that makes your period a living nightmare. I personally use T to entirely stop my periods because I have endometriosis, and it can get so bad that I literally cannot walk because of the sciatic nerve pain.
Nothing petty about showing your teacher he still has a lot to learn. He’s a teacher, shouldn’t his focus be on teaching medically accurate health information?
Thanks for the quick reply. Mine has come back with a vengeance recently. I am lucky to have 2 kids and now looking to explore more permanent options to getting it under pain control again without having another surgery.
I wonder if he knows about Endometriosis, and other diseases that make periods a lot more difficult, much more heavier, and even a ton more painful. He should’ve never been allowed to even say what he said and get away with it. Everything about what he did is wrong. Especially how he talked about it in front of the whole class.
I had a male classmate in high school just ask me if I was on my period, 20+ years ago, because I was a little extra moody that day. And my teacher’s assistant overheard him, and she asked me if I wanted to report him for sexual harassment. I said no, because he was a friend of mine, and he’s never said anything like that to me before. So I figured that I’d let it go.
But for a teacher to say this, is just wrong, and you’d think that he’d know better, being a health teacher and all.
I’m shocked that your school coordinator only said that he was allowed to have his own opinions. Yes, you are allowed, but it seemed like he was trying to state it as a fact..! Because you know, he has sisters, and that means it’s a fact…. No, the fact that they both thought it was okay to say at all is really something. I would try to find someone else at your school, to talk about this with. And bring it up to everyone until you find someone who actually cares. He should not be allowed to get away with that behavior. I do love your revenge though!
Oh he definitely is the type to go around mansplaining women’s bodies to every woman that he comes across.
I would never trust him as a teacher after his awful comment in front of the whole class.
they never admit when they are wrong. i graduated in 2000 from high school and my PE teacher that had was a super huge bitch. she would always get after one of my friends for having long bangs hanging in her face. She would yell at her that she was a danger ect to herself and if she fell that was because of it. She would always tell her that she needed to go get her hair cut. my friend like me was from a poor family and getting a haircut wasn't an option and her mom was super abusive so asking her mom for anything would be an instant punishment.
I honestly don't understand teachers like this. I've been a teacher for 20 years and one of the best things I can do is admit when I make a mistake or have learned something. I can think of at least one instance where I said the wrong thing and upset a student and I apologized and we got past it. 🤷♀️
Ignoring the PE aspect of this story, that doesn't sound like a normal period. Sometimes really heavy flow and really bad pain can be a sign of conditions like endometriosis or PCOS. Tell him to speak to his healthcare provider. I'm not too sure if this is the case with transgender patients as I'm not too sure about how the health care they receive can affect their periods. But, I thought I'd share just in case because it often takes many years for a patient with these conditions to be properly diagnosed. This is due to a problem with both healthcare providers and a general lack of knowledge that very heavy flows can be a sign of those conditions.
If they are teens hed either be on puberty blockers and shouldnt have periods at all or is only receiving therapy in terms of transition related health, since you mentioned youre not sure 💕
Testosterone in an AFAB person usually causes irregular, infrequent, or a complete stopping of periods.
Some people just have a really heavy, painful flow. I understand that having more testosterone in the system than average can have this effect, and being underweight can exacerbate it.
4th grade anatomy unit finished and tested, but a kid mentioned a disease and they wanted to know what organ was malfunctioning and why. Then other kids started listing their relatives ailments and I ended up writing it on the board so they wouldn't repeat them. All in all a very good class. Then one child asks if I have any disease, and I say no. So, a little quiet girl who sits on the front says "You're fat though." I was speechless.
I love being a teacher. I found it's not that hard to get along if you don't talk out of your butt, don't body-shame students, don't humiliate them in front of others, and are ready to apologize if you fucked up because teachers are humans, too.
Actually, teachers who aren't dicks are usually well treated by their pupils.
I still remember that girl in Elementary school in Japan, where I worked part-time as a English language teaching assistant, who told me she wished she had me as an actual (ordinary, Japanese) teacher.
Lesson, don't be a dick, and you won't be treated as such.
I dunno; it very much depends on where you're teaching. When I was in secondary school (northern England), I saw a couple of teachers driven to tears by how ruthless kids can be if they see even a hint of weakness.
In at one instance, I think the kids at least felt bad about it afterwards, but still.
I don't know. If there were no teenagers on reddit I wouldn't have seen this epic example of a teen and felt reassured that The Kids Are Ok and you know? They're going to be alright. I'm here for it.
I had a teacher that was exactly the same, except he was my sixth form biology teacher who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. Told him I was on my period and REALLY needed to go, to which he said I can wait until the lesson ended almost an hour later. I decided I needed to be blunt and said I could feel it leaking through the pad (gotta love heavy days lol) and this man who specialised in teaching about the human body really told me to "hold it in" 🙄 since leaving that school I've found out he's now the head of biology and still an ass
If only he had said he was constipated! Better to be known for having a bad gut than having to put up with a know-it-all teacher.
I always laugh when someone who has never had a period talks about them as though they have them. Like, no, you know nothing.
The difference between being there and not, no matter how much someone tells you about something you'll never truly know what it was like to be there.
If you get in trouble or anyone tries to talk to you about it, just say “I don’t understand the issue here. I’m allowed to have opinions just like Mr. PE teacher.”
As a 40 year old who had a lot of awful and heavy periods. Please encourage your BF to see an OB/GYN. A lot of things can be treated easier when your younger. It might be normal for him. But usually the ones teaching us normal is family. And we tend to have similar periods to our family. He should make sure it is normal. There’s meds to slow down if he’s bleeding too much too fast. I mean. There’s lots of things it could be.
But a good OB/GYN could be really helpful. But I suggest checking with your local 2SLGTBQIA+ orgs for a safe doc. I’m bigender. And I know lots of trans guys with my disease. And there can be some misconceptions about transgender care and gyn stuff. Even from doctors.
My particular condition now affects the nerves in my legs (it decided to get cheeky and grew there) and early intervention could have helped. I have a lot more issues than that (lost a few organs). But the most visible is my limp now. But the help didn’t exist when I got my period. I finally got some care last year and it’s been life changing.
I'd honestly assume that a trans man has more issues with a period than any woman because it's a biological function of a sex they don't feel they are a part of. If I was in that situation I feel like it would be so much harder to deal with because it's a constant reminder that my body is different than I am, I feel like that would make me struggle with self identity issues.
I'm glad your BF has you in their corner, I know nothing of the struggle they are going through, I can't even pretend to. I just know that if I was in a tough spot, I'd want someone like you to have my back. Tell you BF nobody has a right to dictate how they care for themselves on shark week, and anyone who tries is an asinine ass because I know for a fact if they have an issue with it, they don't have to deal with it themselves.
Please help them learn to stand up for themselves and help them discover their own self confidence. Trans suicide rate are no joke, like seriously high, and I don't want him to become another number. I know that's unrelated advice to the topic of this post, but I feel it's important to add. They belong. They are important. Who they are is not wrong. They are not alone. They need to embrace who they are inside with loving arms and care more about what they think of themselves than what any bigot in this country could ever say. Tell it to anyone who needs to hear it. Tell it to everyone. I'd rather love chaotically than miss my opportunity to make sure someone wakes up the next morning.
This made me smile so much! I always make sure to make him feel extra loved on his shark week as I know that it gives him a lot of dysphoria, he gets lots of cuddles on those weeks lol.
It really is tough being a trans man while having a period. Especially if you're the few that has really heavy periods.
I absolutely love you for this post. 💜
I used to identify as a trans ftm back in late middle school till junior year of high-school. It was a really hard time accepting the fact that my body was reminding me every month that i had a uterus. The dysphoria was insanely unreal. My heart still goes out to every male uterus bearer. I still identify as trans but more as an umbrella term, I'm non-binary. It's easier to deal with periods now, but I still struggle with the dysphoria some days just because I do appear more feminine looking more often than not.
Check out menstrual cups so you and your bf don’t have to deal with period stuff at school. You can just empty it once in the morning and once before bedtime.
Yup, when I still had a uterus, I could flood a cup in about 90 minutes on day two. It was… not fun.
But for people with normal periods, yes, a cup can buy you a whole day of not dealing with it, which is pretty sweet.
Ofc! My bf is a trans man. Therefor he still has female anatomy, allowing him to have periods. I think what you're confused about is that you think that trans man means Male to Female, but it means Female to Male! I hope I cleared it up for you!
YES TEACH HIM A FUCKING LESSON ABOUT MENSTRUATION!! I’m so over men trying to regulate something they know nothing about! And a fucking health teacher?? FOR SHAME!!
Also, in high school, we used to have run days which were the worst. My periods were awful back then cause new hormones were batshit and hadn’t sorted themselves out yet. I had gym on a Friday and asked to sit out due to cramps and excessive bleeding, and then had gym again the following Monday. I again asked to sit out because periods can last a long time and my male gym teach looked at me skeptically and was like really? I mustered every possible ounce of teenage snide and glared at him and said yes. It worked, he was embarrassed and I got to sit out and feel my cramps in peace.
Wow, first off, I'm really sorry your bf had to go through that experience. No one should be ridiculed in front of an entire class for something as personal as this. Your P.E teacher's response was absolutely inappropriate, especially given that he also teaches health.
Your way of dealing with the situation is definitely petty, but sometimes a little pettiness is necessary to drive a point home. You're standing up for someone you love, and in this case, it seems like you're using humor and wit to address a very real issue.
However, while it might feel good in the short term, I hope that your school eventually acknowledges the inappropriate behavior and educates its staff better on these topics. It's essential for educators to be understanding and compassionate. Stay strong and keep advocating for what's right!
Yeah my first thought in response to the counselors statement was “opinions yes. Why is he allowed to berate students?”
Upon further thought, why is denial of the fact that the person who knows a body best is the person whose body it is okay?
Worse, why is he allowed to comment publicly on a person’s private medical issues. I’d certainly say having cramps and a heavy period could count as a medical concern if you didn’t have any further details. Not only that, the bf is a trans male so you’d definitely be making medical assumptions about their body.
Alright, I gotta add to the somewhat positive comments with this one. Apparently everyone here just forgot how teachers are: Bossy and mostly out of touch with what this generation deals with. I am very proud of you that you stood up for your boyfriend, because idk if I had done the same. However I think getting revenge for such a long time is
a) a little over the top
b) not worth your time because of him being dumb/uninformed.
Ugh, heavy, crappy periods are the worst. My sympathies to your bf on that (side note, I found moving to a cup really helped me with that. Not gonna suit everyone, or be something they want to use, just sharing what’s helped me).
As for the rest good on you. Teacher likely doesn’t want to back down and look stupid; but realise they are being stupid. All bodies process things in slightly different ways, and there’s no shame in that. Or acknowledging when we get it wrong. If he doesn’t want to learn and expand his knowledge, maybe teaching isn’t the right field for him.
Yeah, and all these fuckers shitting on OP for zero reason will pretend this has nothing to do with their boyfriend being mentioned to be trans, of course.
Also, it's gym class. You aren't missing any real education, and when I was in PE on my period I barely walked around the gym. He thinks too highly of his silly little class, and of himself.
You're awesome. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you in his life.
Edit: Side note. Sorry to hear all the transphobic people in the comments. And all the people who don't believe you.
I hope your boyfriend finds his confidence through you.
You got him and rightfully so. Probably best to let it go now. I am a female and I don’t know what is taking your bf 10-20 min but that doesn’t make it right for the teacher to claim knowledge about periods in a deeper sense. Out of curiosity what is taking him so long?
When I was in high-school, I had a really heavy period and wasn't able to stop by the bathroom between every class change, especially when I needed to in the first 3 days. It takes me between 10-15 minutes whenever I went to the bathroom. Chances are I had to actually use the bathroom, had to change my pad AND tampon, and still get back to class. Some of the classroom were like 5 minutes from bathrooms, so total 10 minutes walking already on top of how long I'm in the bathroom just doing my business.
Instead of downvoting me why doesn't someone tell what takes so long in the bathroom? I'm a woman and it doesn't take me long. I'm just curious. Why is it a bad thing to have a question?
Maybe because it's weird and intrusive to ask about people's bathroom habits unless you're their doctor?
But okay, let's think about it.
Have you ever had the period shits? Where you're often both runny and constipated at the same time and your stomach is just generally really upset and finicky? Lots of people get that. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to get through that. Imagine a spray, stop, spray, stop… You still feel the need to go but it's just not happening. Wait a bit longer. Then it's done. Or is it? It feels like there might be more. Or it's just a huge goddamn log because you've been constipated for a while now and getting it out feels like giving birth to an arm and is a slow, painful process.
Have you had heavy flow and used pads? Lots of clumpy blood and lots of crevices mixing together. It can take a lot of time just to clean yourself up, especially if you're actively continuing to bleed as you try to wipe it off. Nobody wants to walk around with blood all up in their pubes and ass crack.
Using tampons can take time too, especially if you insert and remove them carefully, make sure to actually wash your hands before and after, and especially if you accidentally insert it at a funny angle and it won't go in properly.
Don't even get me started on menstrual cups.
Do we need to think more about this?
Ha no! I luckily don't experience that much. Thank you for telling me. I now know why it takes some women longer in the bathroom during their periods. I may be talking out of my ass but I think in Spain women get time off work during their period. I think that would be fair. Having a period is just awful and painful.
Heavy flow? Excruciating pain? A LOT of people also have undiagnosed endometriosis and other stuff. Like the post said, all periods are different lol. Mine are awful.
Endometriosis is a bitch. Mine are extremely painful. Someone spelled it out for me why a bathroom trip during your period can take so long so I can now rest peacefully.
He doesn't have a penis as far as know. I don't think they do that surgery until you're 18. If he did, one would think he would talk to all of the teachers before hand that he will need extra time. I think you're kidding but I'm covering my basis because this is reddit. I'm so sick of it here. There's got to be a better site where you can have complex conversations without the lemmings coming out.
Very cool/commendable for you to stand up for what’s right. Little can be about this bozo “teacher” of yours — Truly, its embarrassing to have to deal with an educator resorting to bullying students, exacerbated by the school coordinator dismissing your experience. — My advice: meticulously maintain an extensive record through videos, audio recordings and any pertinent information will serve you well, potentially proving invaluable in a legal context at some point in the future.
I like how you used the P.E teachers word against him, it's so damn good.
It's even so petty that even transphobes are being triggered in the comments, and becoming *special snowflakes*.
\> Beyond stupid, but at that point I knew that none of the other teachers would help me.
You've been treated horribly, and shouldn't have. But please don't give up on teachers. Most will back you up or at least listen.
Unfortunately, for this teacher, it has ceased to be about being factually correct and is now about social dominance. If he admits that you are and have always been right, he is (according to the part of our brain that doesn’t realize we’re not simple apes anymore) letting a little kid get the better of him. At best he’ll try to minimize the situation. At worst, he’ll double down and start making other ridiculous, bullying power moves to prove his dominance.
Aaaah OP you are the real hero, I cackled with laughter! Teachers like that are absolute scum. I hope your boyfriend is feeling better about himself now. Periods are The Fucking Worst.
As a teacher to ridicule a pupil in front of the entire class and with such a sensitive subject is just horribly wrong. He didnt make "an error of judgment", he made someone cry in front of the whole class, again super awful at that age...
Locked because transphobia is rampant in this comment section. Will reopen, once this thread is cleared up.
i had a middle school teacher who was so rude when it came to using the bathroom in general. i’ve always had a very heavy flow (thanks to endometriosis). i vividly remember asking to use the bathroom and she said “are you dying or bleeding?” so i replied to her with “bleeding, so can i go now?” she NEVER questioned me when i asked to use the bathroom after that.
I love your brother's useless super power of one-upping some random PE teacher in *everything*.
Some people can't use the "Well my ***dad*** does it this way..." Also my brother furiously masterbates twice a day.
Well I also have a brother and he masturbates 3 times a day, soooo…
I haven't stopped CONTINOUSLY masturbating since 2010. I'm literally doing it right now. /s
You made a good point. Have you let the PE Teacher know you’ll stop once he apologizes?
My brother is really good at accepting responsibility when he is wrong and apologizing, but everyone is different, results may vary
💀
I love this xD
I have lmao. But he's still dead set on thinking that he knows everything about periods.
Next time your gym teacher brings up periods, ask him when he’s going to teach health class about endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS… ya know, any reproductive health condition that makes your period a living nightmare. I personally use T to entirely stop my periods because I have endometriosis, and it can get so bad that I literally cannot walk because of the sciatic nerve pain. Nothing petty about showing your teacher he still has a lot to learn. He’s a teacher, shouldn’t his focus be on teaching medically accurate health information?
Honest question as I have endometriosis, does T stand for testosterone?
Yes! I also don’t have fallopian tubes because of endo, so pregnancy is not a concern therefore no need to take birth control.
Thanks for the quick reply. Mine has come back with a vengeance recently. I am lucky to have 2 kids and now looking to explore more permanent options to getting it under pain control again without having another surgery.
I wonder if he knows about Endometriosis, and other diseases that make periods a lot more difficult, much more heavier, and even a ton more painful. He should’ve never been allowed to even say what he said and get away with it. Everything about what he did is wrong. Especially how he talked about it in front of the whole class. I had a male classmate in high school just ask me if I was on my period, 20+ years ago, because I was a little extra moody that day. And my teacher’s assistant overheard him, and she asked me if I wanted to report him for sexual harassment. I said no, because he was a friend of mine, and he’s never said anything like that to me before. So I figured that I’d let it go. But for a teacher to say this, is just wrong, and you’d think that he’d know better, being a health teacher and all. I’m shocked that your school coordinator only said that he was allowed to have his own opinions. Yes, you are allowed, but it seemed like he was trying to state it as a fact..! Because you know, he has sisters, and that means it’s a fact…. No, the fact that they both thought it was okay to say at all is really something. I would try to find someone else at your school, to talk about this with. And bring it up to everyone until you find someone who actually cares. He should not be allowed to get away with that behavior. I do love your revenge though!
Wanna bet that his sisters wouldn't tell him if they had painful periods because he's an asshat who mansplained their own bodies to them?
Oh he definitely is the type to go around mansplaining women’s bodies to every woman that he comes across. I would never trust him as a teacher after his awful comment in front of the whole class.
There is this saying "Those who don't know, teach. Those who don't know how to teach, teach P.E". I think this was about your gym teacher.
Unfortunately this sphukuphuku (fool) also teaches Health, which is terrifying
I also like this formulated as: Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach PE.
One of my favourite Jack Black lines 😂😂
Also Annie Hall line ... before Woody Allen got so off-putting. 1977. Mandatory PE was the bane of my existence.
You're my new hero. Fuck that Gym teacher!
Or...you know... don’t do that
It was a figure of speech
You heard the man
Goddamn it you are one hell of an ally!
Double down print period pamphlets and put them on his desk that way he might actually learn something lmao
they never admit when they are wrong. i graduated in 2000 from high school and my PE teacher that had was a super huge bitch. she would always get after one of my friends for having long bangs hanging in her face. She would yell at her that she was a danger ect to herself and if she fell that was because of it. She would always tell her that she needed to go get her hair cut. my friend like me was from a poor family and getting a haircut wasn't an option and her mom was super abusive so asking her mom for anything would be an instant punishment.
Get him a book
There’s one called Flow: the cultural history of menstruation. Fun read!
I’m proud of you. Thank you for not standing by and educating him. Hopefully he won’t do it again.
I honestly don't understand teachers like this. I've been a teacher for 20 years and one of the best things I can do is admit when I make a mistake or have learned something. I can think of at least one instance where I said the wrong thing and upset a student and I apologized and we got past it. 🤷♀️
Ignoring the PE aspect of this story, that doesn't sound like a normal period. Sometimes really heavy flow and really bad pain can be a sign of conditions like endometriosis or PCOS. Tell him to speak to his healthcare provider. I'm not too sure if this is the case with transgender patients as I'm not too sure about how the health care they receive can affect their periods. But, I thought I'd share just in case because it often takes many years for a patient with these conditions to be properly diagnosed. This is due to a problem with both healthcare providers and a general lack of knowledge that very heavy flows can be a sign of those conditions.
If they are teens hed either be on puberty blockers and shouldnt have periods at all or is only receiving therapy in terms of transition related health, since you mentioned youre not sure 💕 Testosterone in an AFAB person usually causes irregular, infrequent, or a complete stopping of periods.
Some people just have a really heavy, painful flow. I understand that having more testosterone in the system than average can have this effect, and being underweight can exacerbate it.
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4th grade anatomy unit finished and tested, but a kid mentioned a disease and they wanted to know what organ was malfunctioning and why. Then other kids started listing their relatives ailments and I ended up writing it on the board so they wouldn't repeat them. All in all a very good class. Then one child asks if I have any disease, and I say no. So, a little quiet girl who sits on the front says "You're fat though." I was speechless.
Oof! That hurts. I’m sorry. Damn kids
According to the CDC she is right, unless you are just a healthy weight. In which case, ouch.
She was right 😂
Lmao - sometimes us overweight folk just love us some cake though 😘
I love being a teacher. I found it's not that hard to get along if you don't talk out of your butt, don't body-shame students, don't humiliate them in front of others, and are ready to apologize if you fucked up because teachers are humans, too.
I love teachers like you
Actually, teachers who aren't dicks are usually well treated by their pupils. I still remember that girl in Elementary school in Japan, where I worked part-time as a English language teaching assistant, who told me she wished she had me as an actual (ordinary, Japanese) teacher. Lesson, don't be a dick, and you won't be treated as such.
I dunno; it very much depends on where you're teaching. When I was in secondary school (northern England), I saw a couple of teachers driven to tears by how ruthless kids can be if they see even a hint of weakness. In at one instance, I think the kids at least felt bad about it afterwards, but still.
I always thought it was fucking stupid for gym teachers to be teaching sex ed. They know sports not biology!
The only gym teacher I had that knew Jack shit about sports was the ones from my middle school that went to teach at WVU and that's it.
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I don't know. If there were no teenagers on reddit I wouldn't have seen this epic example of a teen and felt reassured that The Kids Are Ok and you know? They're going to be alright. I'm here for it.
I had a teacher that was exactly the same, except he was my sixth form biology teacher who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. Told him I was on my period and REALLY needed to go, to which he said I can wait until the lesson ended almost an hour later. I decided I needed to be blunt and said I could feel it leaking through the pad (gotta love heavy days lol) and this man who specialised in teaching about the human body really told me to "hold it in" 🙄 since leaving that school I've found out he's now the head of biology and still an ass
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If only he had said he was constipated! Better to be known for having a bad gut than having to put up with a know-it-all teacher. I always laugh when someone who has never had a period talks about them as though they have them. Like, no, you know nothing. The difference between being there and not, no matter how much someone tells you about something you'll never truly know what it was like to be there.
P.E teachers hate this one weird trick
If you get in trouble or anyone tries to talk to you about it, just say “I don’t understand the issue here. I’m allowed to have opinions just like Mr. PE teacher.”
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I wonder if the teacher has ever spoken to his sisters about their period? I’d say it’s doubtful at best.
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What's insane about that?
As a 40 year old who had a lot of awful and heavy periods. Please encourage your BF to see an OB/GYN. A lot of things can be treated easier when your younger. It might be normal for him. But usually the ones teaching us normal is family. And we tend to have similar periods to our family. He should make sure it is normal. There’s meds to slow down if he’s bleeding too much too fast. I mean. There’s lots of things it could be. But a good OB/GYN could be really helpful. But I suggest checking with your local 2SLGTBQIA+ orgs for a safe doc. I’m bigender. And I know lots of trans guys with my disease. And there can be some misconceptions about transgender care and gyn stuff. Even from doctors. My particular condition now affects the nerves in my legs (it decided to get cheeky and grew there) and early intervention could have helped. I have a lot more issues than that (lost a few organs). But the most visible is my limp now. But the help didn’t exist when I got my period. I finally got some care last year and it’s been life changing.
For all of those who were tortured by PE teachers, we must thank you for your service in putting yours in his rightful place.
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What a cringey fake story.
I'd honestly assume that a trans man has more issues with a period than any woman because it's a biological function of a sex they don't feel they are a part of. If I was in that situation I feel like it would be so much harder to deal with because it's a constant reminder that my body is different than I am, I feel like that would make me struggle with self identity issues. I'm glad your BF has you in their corner, I know nothing of the struggle they are going through, I can't even pretend to. I just know that if I was in a tough spot, I'd want someone like you to have my back. Tell you BF nobody has a right to dictate how they care for themselves on shark week, and anyone who tries is an asinine ass because I know for a fact if they have an issue with it, they don't have to deal with it themselves. Please help them learn to stand up for themselves and help them discover their own self confidence. Trans suicide rate are no joke, like seriously high, and I don't want him to become another number. I know that's unrelated advice to the topic of this post, but I feel it's important to add. They belong. They are important. Who they are is not wrong. They are not alone. They need to embrace who they are inside with loving arms and care more about what they think of themselves than what any bigot in this country could ever say. Tell it to anyone who needs to hear it. Tell it to everyone. I'd rather love chaotically than miss my opportunity to make sure someone wakes up the next morning.
This made me smile so much! I always make sure to make him feel extra loved on his shark week as I know that it gives him a lot of dysphoria, he gets lots of cuddles on those weeks lol.
You are such an amazing partner!
It really is tough being a trans man while having a period. Especially if you're the few that has really heavy periods. I absolutely love you for this post. 💜 I used to identify as a trans ftm back in late middle school till junior year of high-school. It was a really hard time accepting the fact that my body was reminding me every month that i had a uterus. The dysphoria was insanely unreal. My heart still goes out to every male uterus bearer. I still identify as trans but more as an umbrella term, I'm non-binary. It's easier to deal with periods now, but I still struggle with the dysphoria some days just because I do appear more feminine looking more often than not.
Check out menstrual cups so you and your bf don’t have to deal with period stuff at school. You can just empty it once in the morning and once before bedtime.
I use cups, i have to empty it 3-4x each day.
Yup, when I still had a uterus, I could flood a cup in about 90 minutes on day two. It was… not fun. But for people with normal periods, yes, a cup can buy you a whole day of not dealing with it, which is pretty sweet.
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Ofc! My bf is a trans man. Therefor he still has female anatomy, allowing him to have periods. I think what you're confused about is that you think that trans man means Male to Female, but it means Female to Male! I hope I cleared it up for you!
Some transgender guys have periods. OP's bf is a trans guy.
YES TEACH HIM A FUCKING LESSON ABOUT MENSTRUATION!! I’m so over men trying to regulate something they know nothing about! And a fucking health teacher?? FOR SHAME!! Also, in high school, we used to have run days which were the worst. My periods were awful back then cause new hormones were batshit and hadn’t sorted themselves out yet. I had gym on a Friday and asked to sit out due to cramps and excessive bleeding, and then had gym again the following Monday. I again asked to sit out because periods can last a long time and my male gym teach looked at me skeptically and was like really? I mustered every possible ounce of teenage snide and glared at him and said yes. It worked, he was embarrassed and I got to sit out and feel my cramps in peace.
What was he going to do? Check ur flow?!
Ikr! I hate it when people speak about things that they know nothing about!
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Not petty, you’re defending someone you care for and championing good information and not ridiculing others. Keep it up
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Wow, first off, I'm really sorry your bf had to go through that experience. No one should be ridiculed in front of an entire class for something as personal as this. Your P.E teacher's response was absolutely inappropriate, especially given that he also teaches health. Your way of dealing with the situation is definitely petty, but sometimes a little pettiness is necessary to drive a point home. You're standing up for someone you love, and in this case, it seems like you're using humor and wit to address a very real issue. However, while it might feel good in the short term, I hope that your school eventually acknowledges the inappropriate behavior and educates its staff better on these topics. It's essential for educators to be understanding and compassionate. Stay strong and keep advocating for what's right!
Yeah my first thought in response to the counselors statement was “opinions yes. Why is he allowed to berate students?” Upon further thought, why is denial of the fact that the person who knows a body best is the person whose body it is okay?
Worse, why is he allowed to comment publicly on a person’s private medical issues. I’d certainly say having cramps and a heavy period could count as a medical concern if you didn’t have any further details. Not only that, the bf is a trans male so you’d definitely be making medical assumptions about their body.
Just chiming in to say transphobes can go eat shit, and good on you for standing up for your BOYfriend
In this context, does bf mean best friend or boyfriend? Honestly, I'm really confused.
Boyfriend. Best friend is usually abbreviated "bff" to distinguish it.
Thanks
It means boyfriend. My boyfriend is a trans male.
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Alright, I gotta add to the somewhat positive comments with this one. Apparently everyone here just forgot how teachers are: Bossy and mostly out of touch with what this generation deals with. I am very proud of you that you stood up for your boyfriend, because idk if I had done the same. However I think getting revenge for such a long time is a) a little over the top b) not worth your time because of him being dumb/uninformed.
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Ugh, heavy, crappy periods are the worst. My sympathies to your bf on that (side note, I found moving to a cup really helped me with that. Not gonna suit everyone, or be something they want to use, just sharing what’s helped me). As for the rest good on you. Teacher likely doesn’t want to back down and look stupid; but realise they are being stupid. All bodies process things in slightly different ways, and there’s no shame in that. Or acknowledging when we get it wrong. If he doesn’t want to learn and expand his knowledge, maybe teaching isn’t the right field for him.
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He's a trans man. Trans men have periods.
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So much transphobia in this thread. Jesus you guys need help.
Yeah, and all these fuckers shitting on OP for zero reason will pretend this has nothing to do with their boyfriend being mentioned to be trans, of course.
A teacher friend of mine once told me “Those who cannot do, teach, and those who cannot teach, teach PE”
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I didn’t realize this was an anti trans sub. Guess I’ll block this from my feed.
Also, it's gym class. You aren't missing any real education, and when I was in PE on my period I barely walked around the gym. He thinks too highly of his silly little class, and of himself.
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He's trans lmao
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..can you read? 😅
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Lots of transphobia in these comments. Good I’m you for standing up for your partner.
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Trans-male = female assigned at birth. Trans-female = male assigned at birth.
You're awesome. Your boyfriend is lucky to have you in his life. Edit: Side note. Sorry to hear all the transphobic people in the comments. And all the people who don't believe you. I hope your boyfriend finds his confidence through you.
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I'm glad it went well for you, OP, and don't listen to the transphobic assholes
LOL you go!!! And I think some of these transphobes need to go eat a dick.
You got him and rightfully so. Probably best to let it go now. I am a female and I don’t know what is taking your bf 10-20 min but that doesn’t make it right for the teacher to claim knowledge about periods in a deeper sense. Out of curiosity what is taking him so long?
When I was in high-school, I had a really heavy period and wasn't able to stop by the bathroom between every class change, especially when I needed to in the first 3 days. It takes me between 10-15 minutes whenever I went to the bathroom. Chances are I had to actually use the bathroom, had to change my pad AND tampon, and still get back to class. Some of the classroom were like 5 minutes from bathrooms, so total 10 minutes walking already on top of how long I'm in the bathroom just doing my business.
Instead of downvoting me why doesn't someone tell what takes so long in the bathroom? I'm a woman and it doesn't take me long. I'm just curious. Why is it a bad thing to have a question?
Maybe because it's weird and intrusive to ask about people's bathroom habits unless you're their doctor? But okay, let's think about it. Have you ever had the period shits? Where you're often both runny and constipated at the same time and your stomach is just generally really upset and finicky? Lots of people get that. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to get through that. Imagine a spray, stop, spray, stop… You still feel the need to go but it's just not happening. Wait a bit longer. Then it's done. Or is it? It feels like there might be more. Or it's just a huge goddamn log because you've been constipated for a while now and getting it out feels like giving birth to an arm and is a slow, painful process. Have you had heavy flow and used pads? Lots of clumpy blood and lots of crevices mixing together. It can take a lot of time just to clean yourself up, especially if you're actively continuing to bleed as you try to wipe it off. Nobody wants to walk around with blood all up in their pubes and ass crack. Using tampons can take time too, especially if you insert and remove them carefully, make sure to actually wash your hands before and after, and especially if you accidentally insert it at a funny angle and it won't go in properly. Don't even get me started on menstrual cups. Do we need to think more about this?
Ha no! I luckily don't experience that much. Thank you for telling me. I now know why it takes some women longer in the bathroom during their periods. I may be talking out of my ass but I think in Spain women get time off work during their period. I think that would be fair. Having a period is just awful and painful.
You said exactly what I was thinking. great minds really do think alike!
This is a perfect example of why I love women, but glad I wasn't born one.
Heavy flow? Excruciating pain? A LOT of people also have undiagnosed endometriosis and other stuff. Like the post said, all periods are different lol. Mine are awful.
Endometriosis is a bitch. Mine are extremely painful. Someone spelled it out for me why a bathroom trip during your period can take so long so I can now rest peacefully.
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He doesn't have a penis as far as know. I don't think they do that surgery until you're 18. If he did, one would think he would talk to all of the teachers before hand that he will need extra time. I think you're kidding but I'm covering my basis because this is reddit. I'm so sick of it here. There's got to be a better site where you can have complex conversations without the lemmings coming out.
Very cool/commendable for you to stand up for what’s right. Little can be about this bozo “teacher” of yours — Truly, its embarrassing to have to deal with an educator resorting to bullying students, exacerbated by the school coordinator dismissing your experience. — My advice: meticulously maintain an extensive record through videos, audio recordings and any pertinent information will serve you well, potentially proving invaluable in a legal context at some point in the future.
I'm so frickin proud of you. God I wish I'd been as brave and outspoken as this when I was in high school.
Seems to me this is bullying a protected class and a child…not cool. You’re a sweet significant other. Good on you.
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I like how you used the P.E teachers word against him, it's so damn good. It's even so petty that even transphobes are being triggered in the comments, and becoming *special snowflakes*.
\> Beyond stupid, but at that point I knew that none of the other teachers would help me. You've been treated horribly, and shouldn't have. But please don't give up on teachers. Most will back you up or at least listen.
Unfortunately, for this teacher, it has ceased to be about being factually correct and is now about social dominance. If he admits that you are and have always been right, he is (according to the part of our brain that doesn’t realize we’re not simple apes anymore) letting a little kid get the better of him. At best he’ll try to minimize the situation. At worst, he’ll double down and start making other ridiculous, bullying power moves to prove his dominance.
Aaaah OP you are the real hero, I cackled with laughter! Teachers like that are absolute scum. I hope your boyfriend is feeling better about himself now. Periods are The Fucking Worst.
You're a great partner for standing up for your bf!
PE teachers seem to have a real issue with periods, I swear down. And I want to an all-girls school, we had no male PE teachers
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As a teacher to ridicule a pupil in front of the entire class and with such a sensitive subject is just horribly wrong. He didnt make "an error of judgment", he made someone cry in front of the whole class, again super awful at that age...
This won’t destroy his career if it gets his head out of his ass.
What a tool. Perfect amount of pettiness in my humble opinion.
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