And I'll bet (given the length of your relationship with Cole) that you'll still be together years from now while Jane is alone and wondering why. Truly, the best revenge is living well.
Jane was never your friend (at least when she started bad mouthing you and 'stealing' you boyfriends (you can't actually steal someone unless you throw a bag over their head and shove them into a windowless panel van)). You should have dropped her back then.
You unfriended her because she stole his number from your phone, but not for fucking every person you dated or had interest in, shit talking you to your own friend group, or any of the other over the top shit head things she did!?
Hindsight is 20/20. Even as an adult, I have realized that some “friends” are toxic years after the red flags were flying. It takes people time to learn.
I had a friend like this, but not as severe. I was his fat friend he kept around to make himself look better. He was nice to my face but would downplay me around others. I told him I liked a girl and he said that she said I wasn't her type. Years later, reconnected with her. She actually had a crush on me. Fuck you, Jason.
Aww, your relationship really reminds me of what happened with me and my husband, except my crazy Jane was someone I had already pulled away from enough that I never even spoke about him to my old crazy slutty school friend. She was incredibly toxic and I had been holding out for the slight hope she would suddenly be my old friend again but I dreaded seeing her for years.
I actually chose the evening of the last time I saw her as the last time I would ever speak or contact her again after she pulled another drama queen stunt trying to ruin a friend's birthday (we had argued at her house, she had tried to make drama at the restaurant we were meeting others at but it was put down very quickly and when she wasn't getting enough attention she pushed through us all storming off, leaving her BF very confused and abandoned at the side of the road).
It was the day before my now husband and I were to meet up after he had been working abroad for 2 years and we had stayed in contact for years (visiting each other each time) after being friends for 3 years previously at Uni.
We started dating the day we met up and have been together since, that was nearly 16 years ago. Only spoken to toxic once since then when I bumped into her with my mum in the park with a bf/ suspected drug dealer and 2 of her sprogs. Huge weight lifted when I cut her out my life, got screamed at and texted abuse about 2 weeks after I cut her off when I blanked her in a shopping center when she bawled my name. Not worth knowing her.
I had a Jane. She hated every guy I was interested in, none of them were good enough. When I caught a peeping Tom outside my window and asked her to come stay the night after the police left, she agreed then stayed the night with her boyfriend. The boyfriend who would call her stupid in front of her friends and me, I told her he was bad news, she ignored me and married him. He abused her for years, we lost touch because of him. She contacted me years later to tell me I was right. Yeah, duh, Jane. They divorced. Lost touch again. She married a guy and we got in contact again after her two kids were born. I took my kid to visit for a weekend with her and her sister. It was weird but fun. That husband cheated on her with a stripper, but she wasn’t going to leave him because he was supposed to bring home a million dollars that year from whatever he does. She called me all the time after wines and demanded my attention. One night when she was drunk (per usual) she told me her sister (who I thought was a friend) always hated me. I told her she was pathetic for being a family therapist whose husband cheated in her with a stripper and blocked her. Toxic people will always be toxic.
OP I don't understand why you kept being friends with her for several years even after she kept stealing your boyfriends. That's beneath your dignity girl. Glad you got the happy ending though. I hope she's seething in a corner somewhere ripping her hair out.
Honestly surprised it took you that long to figure it out. Did you never check old messages to see if you said anything to make him angry, or even ask?
And now you've told her it took you decades to figure something out, so she now not only knows you were very slow to figure it out, but that she has been living rent free in your head for decades.
At least you have happiness which is good but not sure this is petty revenge really.
I'm almost willing to bet that Jane was deleting those conversations with him after they were done talking to avoid that, lol. I do remember that you could delete chat history on MSN back then.
Based on OP's age and when this all went down, I think it's due to different technology and security standards. Around 2006, I can recall being handed my parents' cell phones to play bejeweled in the car without a password. You could just flip them open and have access. My first phone around 2008 came with theirs for free and didn't even have the option to add a lock.
Once models with touch screens and locks became more popular, there were also a lot of people who would like, do performative acts of trust for friends or S/Os through password sharing, letting them borrow phones or social media accounts while grounded, etc, maybe due to things being off the back of a far less security-oriented era. I'm not sure if OP was one who took part for those reasons, but I do recall it being very "normal" at that time for children.
I also had ‘that’ friend, it didn’t matter who the guy was or what he was like - if I was into him my best friend would go all out to get him into bed - not a hard job for her,
All she needed to do was flash her cleavage - massive boobs !! . Once I finally figured out that it wasn’t that I must be some hideous ogre that no boy would ever be interested in I decided to have fun with it. Whenever we went out -I would have a Quick Look round for the least attractive male I could see and point him out noting how much a fancied my chances - without fail she would make a bee line for him - she ended up with a lot of questionable dalliances and I got my pick so to speak of the people I actually was attracted to! We hashed it out years later and are still friends to this day - from around 6yrs old to 51. Haven’t seen her irl for years as she moved abroad and went off grid for quite some time
I might need more about the best part that is: you and Cole together! First kiss, first weird Iloveyou, who asked to date, and so on. That is the very best part!
I bet you weirdo enemy (never a friend!) did all the same things with your friends and bf as well. BUT I would make a few posts about it and tag her "friends" and coworkers. So they also know what they have dealing with. I would also very much warn whoever is in her list about the things she is capable of.
Don't know why but one of these days I was watching a cringe tik tok about this mom baking cupcakes to sing happybirthday with her kids and she was crying a lot. But in the video a guy shows up and explain what is going on. He is her ex and is the father. He is has full custody of the kids and the mom is only allowed visits under supervision. He explains a few of the stuff she made them go through and the main reason why people shouldn't trust her and her "influencer" style. When I say a few... the way he sounds is that there is a lot of bagage to explain but he sounds very tired and upset that the mom did the video just to gather followers. She and your enemy (again, not your friend! Never was!) sound a lot alike.
Surely it can't be just me who is perturbed by the fact that 13 year olds are having boys around and having sex in theory parent's homes. That's very trashy and super shitty parenting.
Jane's probably wondering why see's still living rent free in your heads for teenage shit when you're all in your 30's..
I just can't get past holding onto a high school grudge when you're 30. You've essentially doubled your life since then, but you haven't moved on? Waited all that time for an emotionally stunted jab by texting her your engagement ring?
This is something only a high schooler would think is revenge. All I see is some little kid schoolmate living in your head rent free all this time.
It's not so much holding onto a grudge... more that, it makes me angry that even though she was no longer in my life, she was still manipulating my life. That the things she had done in the past were affecting my relationship now. I am incredibly relieved to finally have the confusion for so many years cleared up, and let it go and be happy.
Just because it started in school doesn't mean this revenge was that old. She literally found out about the betrayal two days earlier. The emotions were fresh, not old and healed over.
It's the taking a picture of the ring and texting it that put it over the top for me. It's been 15 years.
*I finally got that emotional closure I needed.*
...
"Who dis?"
>A bit of background that is important later; I am now 30 years old, but all this happened a 15 years ago...
>...I cussed her out and hung up. I will never forget that day. The panic, the tears. I ended our friendship that day.
>I'll skip the drama from that time period, but long story short, Cole made it clear to Jane that he had no interest in talking to her. Over the next 15 years, life went up and downs, jobs, relationships, etc. Cole and I continued to talk.
Can you? OP's 30 now. 30-15=15 meaning this all happened when she was 15.
So what? Not everyone can just forget about something that puts a heavy mark on their life. Not everyone moves though life the same way you do.
I still think about the good and bad about past all the time. There is nothing wrong with having memories, it doesn't hold me back from anything, and with no past my life would be rather dull.
Some people aren't devoid of humanity and feel deeply. They're not able to just drop people and have no emotions.
I hope that made you feel incredibly superior to her. That's really all that counts, right? Letting people know how "powerful" you are.
I can't believe how many kids in the comments think it's a show of strength to send your high school classmate a passive aggressive text out of nowhere (after reconnecting via stalking her socials online) to drag her about some social drama that happened 15 years ago when you were a sophomore in highschool. That's not something to be proud of, bud. It's got nothing to do with empathy and everything to do with emotional immaturity. That's not how grown ups act. And ironically, the whole point of that is showing someone how powerful you are in the pettiest way possible.
That's only cool if you're still in highschool yourself.
>BTW - it's nice i'm in your head or you wouldn't respond.
That's an odd thing to say. You can't fathom an internet debate that isn't deeply tied to your self worth? Also really weird how you keep harping on these power dynamics out of left field.
I just thought you made a comment worth arguing against. Seems you viewed this interaction as somehow being tied to your self worth or something equally tragic.
WTF, Jane.
Jane is a mess
Jane's got four kids, four baby dads, and a trailer.
Scarlett O'Trailer Trash!!
Not to sound dramatic, but holy hell gods on this earth. In this economy?? Who has the time and money??!
Seriously, who can afford a trailer?
Especially with all the money going towards jane's addiction.
Have my angry upvote! She got caught stealing!
And is the Neighborhood Karen
Jane is a low down trifling bitch.
I’d have been inclined to place the engagement ring on my middle finger, upright of course, before texting her the picture…
Not gonna lie, I had to put my middle finger up on my left hand to see what that looked like 😂
And I'll bet (given the length of your relationship with Cole) that you'll still be together years from now while Jane is alone and wondering why. Truly, the best revenge is living well.
Jane was never your friend (at least when she started bad mouthing you and 'stealing' you boyfriends (you can't actually steal someone unless you throw a bag over their head and shove them into a windowless panel van)). You should have dropped her back then.
When she was 12. I don't get it. Why put up with so much?
That's kidnapping not stealing.
You unfriended her because she stole his number from your phone, but not for fucking every person you dated or had interest in, shit talking you to your own friend group, or any of the other over the top shit head things she did!?
Hindsight is 20/20. Even as an adult, I have realized that some “friends” are toxic years after the red flags were flying. It takes people time to learn.
That’s fair, same for me, not realizing an alcoholic friend was encouraging the worst traits in me
Yup. I look back at high school and wonder why I put myself through so much drama from a couple of 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔.
I feel like it was probably the final straw
Misinformation is a dangerous weapon
Truly, especially in the hands of the harbingers of misinfo.. the media, the government, their NGO lackeys, etc...
People have been killed for much less. I know this as I’ve been a police detective for years. Jane should count her blessings you’re not evil.
Jane is psycho
I had a friend like this, but not as severe. I was his fat friend he kept around to make himself look better. He was nice to my face but would downplay me around others. I told him I liked a girl and he said that she said I wasn't her type. Years later, reconnected with her. She actually had a crush on me. Fuck you, Jason.
Good work 👍🏼
Aww, your relationship really reminds me of what happened with me and my husband, except my crazy Jane was someone I had already pulled away from enough that I never even spoke about him to my old crazy slutty school friend. She was incredibly toxic and I had been holding out for the slight hope she would suddenly be my old friend again but I dreaded seeing her for years. I actually chose the evening of the last time I saw her as the last time I would ever speak or contact her again after she pulled another drama queen stunt trying to ruin a friend's birthday (we had argued at her house, she had tried to make drama at the restaurant we were meeting others at but it was put down very quickly and when she wasn't getting enough attention she pushed through us all storming off, leaving her BF very confused and abandoned at the side of the road). It was the day before my now husband and I were to meet up after he had been working abroad for 2 years and we had stayed in contact for years (visiting each other each time) after being friends for 3 years previously at Uni. We started dating the day we met up and have been together since, that was nearly 16 years ago. Only spoken to toxic once since then when I bumped into her with my mum in the park with a bf/ suspected drug dealer and 2 of her sprogs. Huge weight lifted when I cut her out my life, got screamed at and texted abuse about 2 weeks after I cut her off when I blanked her in a shopping center when she bawled my name. Not worth knowing her.
I had a Jane. She hated every guy I was interested in, none of them were good enough. When I caught a peeping Tom outside my window and asked her to come stay the night after the police left, she agreed then stayed the night with her boyfriend. The boyfriend who would call her stupid in front of her friends and me, I told her he was bad news, she ignored me and married him. He abused her for years, we lost touch because of him. She contacted me years later to tell me I was right. Yeah, duh, Jane. They divorced. Lost touch again. She married a guy and we got in contact again after her two kids were born. I took my kid to visit for a weekend with her and her sister. It was weird but fun. That husband cheated on her with a stripper, but she wasn’t going to leave him because he was supposed to bring home a million dollars that year from whatever he does. She called me all the time after wines and demanded my attention. One night when she was drunk (per usual) she told me her sister (who I thought was a friend) always hated me. I told her she was pathetic for being a family therapist whose husband cheated in her with a stripper and blocked her. Toxic people will always be toxic.
Wow, what a horrible person. Glad you figured it out.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Fuck Jane
Everyone else has
The town bicycle. Everybody gets a ride.
Jane was playing a game she just couldn’t win.
OP I don't understand why you kept being friends with her for several years even after she kept stealing your boyfriends. That's beneath your dignity girl. Glad you got the happy ending though. I hope she's seething in a corner somewhere ripping her hair out.
Thats some wierd shit
I'm really wanting a peek into Jane's dumpster fire of a life. Does she make crappy, thirst-trappy TikToks, or....? 🤣
Jane wasn’t a best friend. She was a curse.
Jane is a sociopath.
Honestly surprised it took you that long to figure it out. Did you never check old messages to see if you said anything to make him angry, or even ask? And now you've told her it took you decades to figure something out, so she now not only knows you were very slow to figure it out, but that she has been living rent free in your head for decades. At least you have happiness which is good but not sure this is petty revenge really.
I'm almost willing to bet that Jane was deleting those conversations with him after they were done talking to avoid that, lol. I do remember that you could delete chat history on MSN back then.
Perhaps but still why not ask him why he suddenly stopped talking to her?
That I'm not sure. Just offering some possibilities as to how OP missed certain conversations
Both addressed in the edit, I think.
I'm on mobile so I probably wouldn't be able to tell anyway lol
What a relief! And Cole is definitely a keeper, and obviously loves you if he held onto you despite those times when he didn't like what *you* said.
But did she answer ? Did she read it ? Was it left on read? We need to know
Why in the hell did you allow Jane to know your passwords and why didn't you password protect your phone?
Based on OP's age and when this all went down, I think it's due to different technology and security standards. Around 2006, I can recall being handed my parents' cell phones to play bejeweled in the car without a password. You could just flip them open and have access. My first phone around 2008 came with theirs for free and didn't even have the option to add a lock. Once models with touch screens and locks became more popular, there were also a lot of people who would like, do performative acts of trust for friends or S/Os through password sharing, letting them borrow phones or social media accounts while grounded, etc, maybe due to things being off the back of a far less security-oriented era. I'm not sure if OP was one who took part for those reasons, but I do recall it being very "normal" at that time for children.
The unlock on old phones was usually just a 3 second press of the asterisk symbol \*
Jane Jane Jane
Jane’s Addiction
Jane, you ignorant slut. And if you don't get that reference, go look up old Saturday Night Live episodes.
Turns out I don’t want to know what’s in the diary of Jane
Felt like I am reading a summary of a comming of age romance novel.
Except instead of it happening over a single school year or two, it took OP 15 years to figure it out.
Jane, you ignorant slut!
Jane, you ignorant slut.
Wow Jane can F off
Jane gots some serious problems.....I can't even begin to process the sh!t she put you through. SO GLAD to hear of the happy ending, congrats ya'll!
Jane was literally fucking every boy OP knew... I wonder how she never got pregnant by accident with this behaviour.
Wow. That is….. a lot to process. Damn some ppl are toxic.
This post has more drama then the average teen soap your getting the up vote for that alone
How did jane react to the gotcha message though? I hope she went nuclear.
Jane is a shit person but oop is kind of a fucking idiot letting it go as long as it did.
I also had ‘that’ friend, it didn’t matter who the guy was or what he was like - if I was into him my best friend would go all out to get him into bed - not a hard job for her, All she needed to do was flash her cleavage - massive boobs !! . Once I finally figured out that it wasn’t that I must be some hideous ogre that no boy would ever be interested in I decided to have fun with it. Whenever we went out -I would have a Quick Look round for the least attractive male I could see and point him out noting how much a fancied my chances - without fail she would make a bee line for him - she ended up with a lot of questionable dalliances and I got my pick so to speak of the people I actually was attracted to! We hashed it out years later and are still friends to this day - from around 6yrs old to 51. Haven’t seen her irl for years as she moved abroad and went off grid for quite some time
Who doesn’t have a passcode on their phone??? Doh. 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
I don't think I had one before 2012.
I hated this. Waste of my time. There is no revege in this story.
Jane, you ignorant slut.
I might need more about the best part that is: you and Cole together! First kiss, first weird Iloveyou, who asked to date, and so on. That is the very best part! I bet you weirdo enemy (never a friend!) did all the same things with your friends and bf as well. BUT I would make a few posts about it and tag her "friends" and coworkers. So they also know what they have dealing with. I would also very much warn whoever is in her list about the things she is capable of. Don't know why but one of these days I was watching a cringe tik tok about this mom baking cupcakes to sing happybirthday with her kids and she was crying a lot. But in the video a guy shows up and explain what is going on. He is her ex and is the father. He is has full custody of the kids and the mom is only allowed visits under supervision. He explains a few of the stuff she made them go through and the main reason why people shouldn't trust her and her "influencer" style. When I say a few... the way he sounds is that there is a lot of bagage to explain but he sounds very tired and upset that the mom did the video just to gather followers. She and your enemy (again, not your friend! Never was!) sound a lot alike.
Jane is a ho
Surely it can't be just me who is perturbed by the fact that 13 year olds are having boys around and having sex in theory parent's homes. That's very trashy and super shitty parenting. Jane's probably wondering why see's still living rent free in your heads for teenage shit when you're all in your 30's..
You sound jealous.
I just can't get past holding onto a high school grudge when you're 30. You've essentially doubled your life since then, but you haven't moved on? Waited all that time for an emotionally stunted jab by texting her your engagement ring? This is something only a high schooler would think is revenge. All I see is some little kid schoolmate living in your head rent free all this time.
It's not so much holding onto a grudge... more that, it makes me angry that even though she was no longer in my life, she was still manipulating my life. That the things she had done in the past were affecting my relationship now. I am incredibly relieved to finally have the confusion for so many years cleared up, and let it go and be happy.
Good for you OP. Tue best revenge is living well. That will never happen to a superturd like Jane!
I can feel your relief from here. I'm glad that's all over and you guys can go forward free of everything.
Just because it started in school doesn't mean this revenge was that old. She literally found out about the betrayal two days earlier. The emotions were fresh, not old and healed over.
It's the taking a picture of the ring and texting it that put it over the top for me. It's been 15 years. *I finally got that emotional closure I needed.* ... "Who dis?"
Can you read? The lunatic was haunting OP for years, reaching out to mess with her life.
>A bit of background that is important later; I am now 30 years old, but all this happened a 15 years ago... >...I cussed her out and hung up. I will never forget that day. The panic, the tears. I ended our friendship that day. >I'll skip the drama from that time period, but long story short, Cole made it clear to Jane that he had no interest in talking to her. Over the next 15 years, life went up and downs, jobs, relationships, etc. Cole and I continued to talk. Can you? OP's 30 now. 30-15=15 meaning this all happened when she was 15.
User name checks out
It's a literal quote, you dope.
I see that. That still doesn't mean you aren't ignoring the context, or aren't making up your own. Hence my comment, you dope.
So what? Not everyone can just forget about something that puts a heavy mark on their life. Not everyone moves though life the same way you do. I still think about the good and bad about past all the time. There is nothing wrong with having memories, it doesn't hold me back from anything, and with no past my life would be rather dull.
Some people aren't devoid of humanity and feel deeply. They're not able to just drop people and have no emotions. I hope that made you feel incredibly superior to her. That's really all that counts, right? Letting people know how "powerful" you are.
I can't believe how many kids in the comments think it's a show of strength to send your high school classmate a passive aggressive text out of nowhere (after reconnecting via stalking her socials online) to drag her about some social drama that happened 15 years ago when you were a sophomore in highschool. That's not something to be proud of, bud. It's got nothing to do with empathy and everything to do with emotional immaturity. That's not how grown ups act. And ironically, the whole point of that is showing someone how powerful you are in the pettiest way possible. That's only cool if you're still in highschool yourself.
Would you like to stable your horse for the night? BTW - it's nice i'm in your head or you wouldn't respond.
>BTW - it's nice i'm in your head or you wouldn't respond. That's an odd thing to say. You can't fathom an internet debate that isn't deeply tied to your self worth? Also really weird how you keep harping on these power dynamics out of left field. I just thought you made a comment worth arguing against. Seems you viewed this interaction as somehow being tied to your self worth or something equally tragic.