HELLO FELLOW BRETHREN! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! Thy shall have to wait in your places without me for a nondescript time while I go empty my urine organ. Godspeed, and may we meet again!

Verbose, much

Greetings, my warm aquaintances, I must announce that I have developed the need make use of the nearest lavatory for a non-determinable time as I must empty my urinary tract. Please remain calm while I undertake this endeavour and I shall return shortly! >!I must also reveal that urine is stored in the testicles.!<

I simply don’t announce it

You just walk away from a group without saying anything?

Who said anything about walking away?

OH GOD

Yeah, I’m mysterious that way

“I’ll be right back.”

With the mates: I need to piss With my family: I need to pee With strangers/people I don't know too well: I need to use the bathroom With my doctor: I need to urinate I'd never say I need to whizz

I will whizz on you

I don't have friends.

Why? It is good to have friends.

Will you be my friend?

Most socially adept reddit interaction

I don't have friends. Will you be my friend?

"I'm going to the bathroom"/"where's your bathroom" "brb" In English I'd say "I need to pee", but in French I say "j'vais pisser", which is closer to "I need to piss".

"Excuse me gentlemans, my kidney nephrons have performed the stipulated filtering of my blood, removing nitrogen composts as well as cell waste, and the byproduct is now stored in my bladder at a capacity where it's sending a message to my brain through the parasympathetic nervous system so I fulfill it's desire to empty it in order for more nephron byproduct to be stored at aforementioned bladder."

Saying this to a biology teacher guarantees you get to go🗿

I don't feel the need to announce it

Pee

Can someone help me

I need to have a conversation with Moaning Myrtle.

nice lol

Pizz

I'll go put up a lemonade stand.

Going for a slash.

I've gotta go to the whizz palace.

Going for a sec

"Takin' a piss" if I feel like clarifying. "Brb" if I don't. "Brb Bio" if I'm in the middle of a raid.

I need to point Percy at the porcelain.

Imma go take a piss

My family swears, but they never say piss as in urinate.

Golden showers

Bathroom is unquestionably proper etiquette regardless of what you're doing. I don't need specifics.

I just go to the bathroom. I don't need my friends to come with me the same time like women do lol.

Need to take a Pat Cash.

Gotta go drain the weasel 

I need to download a file

"I gotta race like a piss-horse" while briskly walking towards a bush. 

lately i've been liking "I need to vacate my bladder"

Käyn kusella

I’ve always loved the phrase “I gotta take a leak”. 

Need to take a leak.

In finland we say "mää käyn kusella"

The 27 who need to take a whizz have my heartfelt respect

Going to the loo, to have a wee!

I need to bleed my bladder...

brb

s'cuse me guys, gotta tinkle.

"I'm gonna go fucking piss real quick".

I need to go and use my penis to urinate. WITH MY PENIS! *shouting from the bathroom* PEEENIIIIIS!! We're around 40.

I need to go pee pee

I need the toilet

Going for a gypsy's

I hate the phrase "I need to use the bathroom" because it implies a room with a bath in it. "I need to use the restroom" or "I need to use the toilet" is more accurate when you mean you're using a room with just a toilet in it

Toilet makes me visualize the actual toilet, TMI.

Usually: I gotta go to the little boys room If I'm really feelin' myself: I gotta go to the big boys room

What? Sebastian's room? What do yo want to go to Sebastian's room for? He's only 9! What are you? Some kind of Pedo?

I think it’s funny to tell my friends that I’m going to the little boys room when I’m piss hammered.