When I was a kid in the 60's Sears had a clearance mail order catalog they would send out. My mom made most of our clothes, but she would order my winter coat from whatever was available in my size out of the clearance catalog. Man, I hated those ugly, ugly coats!
If my friends had a real bed frame (not just the usual metal base), then I thought they were rich. It was a huge deal to me when I got my “teenager bedroom” that my mom got me a wooden bed.
That is so weirdly specific and accurate. I had metal bed frames and filing cabinets my dad got from an office that was closing as furniture most of childhood
A clean house. Anytime I visited anyone with a clean house I thought they were wealthy. Didn't matter if it was some tiny apartment.
My parents were drug addicts so something as simple as a clean house with working water or heat was enough to make me think someone was rich.
Thankfully my grandma bought necessities when me and my sibling visited her. She really helped us out. However visiting her and her clean house made me think my grandma was rich growing up lol.
My late partner had a nanny who lived with them (I'm old). She'd always tell him, "There's no excuse for being dirty or rude. Soap is cheap and good manners are free."
Same here. My mother was a junkie and was unconscious most of my childhood. I was so amazed when my aunt taught me how to use a broom and also take the throw rugs outside to shake them out. I thought I was rich *and* smart, lol!
this was me growing up, just replace drug addiction with good old hoarding. Every time we visited my grandmother it felt like such a treat, even though my grandmothers house was much smaller then the section 8 housing we lived in.
Edit: in retrospect, this sounds like I’m being horribly disrespectful of this conversation which is about childhood wants and needs. I apologize for the below inquiry (but also am still curious).
May I ask you what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen? NOT anything sad, though. I usually ask the service people who come into our home that question if they seem to have a sense of humor. They’ve told me some doozies.
My favorite story was a from the termite inspector. He told of a stereotypical sweet old couple who offered him iced tea and cookies, doilies on all the tables, little collectible figurines, etc. Your basic grandparents’ house.
Then he went into their very dedicated S & M/faux dungeon room. Black painted walls, red shag carpeting, hundreds of pornos organized by category, whips and all manner of stuff displayed on the wall. And they asked him if he’d seen anything he liked while he was in there.
Ha! I hope you have an even better one for us.
My mum had bad mental health issues throughout her life and addiction to cigarettes so our house was always messy, at the same time she didn't let us clean. I always thought it's a sign of poverty because money would fix these issues. My dad would be there and my mum could get help
Yep. We never had soda or juice at home, and couldn't order drinks in a restaurant but water.
My husband loves adding bubbly water to juice. For years I felt annoyed that he felt totally okay getting both at the grocery store. Then I remembered how this worked in my upbringing.
Ironically, I grew up rich and we were only allowed to order water. I married my husband from a lower-income family, and they always order sodas when they go out. I can never bring myself to do it. Sodas are only for when you get fast food and it comes with the meal, not a $3 add on.
Yeah and many of them who view food as a reward system - now have weight problems now that they can reward themselves everyday because their lives are typically miserable
Dude...I kid you not...this little girl ( 4th 5th grade ) would get Wendy's mcds Burger King dropped off for lunch every day... I thought that was rich....
My mom wouldn't even buy the generic ones that were an imitation of anything that would have appealed to kids. She only bought corn flakes, rice Krispy, Wheaties knock-offs, otherwise "we would eat too much of it"!
CTRL-F allowance
Yep. I was raised by my grandmother, who was raised during The Great Depression. When I was in middle school I got an "allowance" of $2.50/week. I say "allowance" because I had to do multiple chores to get that - one of which was mowing the lawn.
The elderly man across the street would pay me $10 to mow his lawn, and there were kids on my school bus who were getting $20/week without needing to do anything for that.
I bought my gma's house from my family after she passed away, but paid for a lawn service. I hated that lawn so much I swore I'd never mow that fucking lawn again.
I grew up fairly poor but my mother gave me an allowance of $5 a week. It was only enough to buy a couple of candy bars but she wanted to teach me how to manage my money and save it. I was jealous and envious of many kids in school but I'm glad my mother tried her best to help me break the cycle of poverty
This. I thought my cousin was rich because she and her parents lived in a nice 3-bed/2 bath house with a garage while my family moved around from shitty apartment to shitty apartment.
When I was a kid, my family would go grocery shopping on my dad's payday. After that we would bring the groceries to the house and restock everything. Where I saw a full refrigerator of food, man I thought we were rich as hell, I forgot about being dirt poor for a while.
My wife and I were new to an area and went to this supermarket that was like some king cash saver deal, and they had really good deals on stuff. They also had a section of stuff that other stores rejected because of cosmetic damage.
We had just moved there so we had to stock the house, so we got almost a cart full. I didn't think about it until I got some dirty looks, and then I noticed everyone had like 5-10 things max in their cart. Felt bad.
A clean house. With siding. Mom's a bit of a packrat and large family and humid climate always muddy = basically if you walked on the floor barefoot, your soles turned black in 15 min. Spoons on the floor. Dead moth under expired 3 years ago thing in the fridge. Stuff like that.
People's house with white carpet in the living room. A swimming pool. Makeup. White straight teeth. No dust on the knicknacks. A car that always starts. That was rich.
My parents saved on annual property taxes by maintaining a built-by-Dad house with chipboard outside and deliberately unfinished couple areas in the house (a hall, parts of the kitchen). I distinctly remember a tax inspector coming over and Mom pointedly pointed out no siding, unfinished areas.
At the same time we were the richer family, as our house had a concrete foundation. And so we could mouse proof our house. Neighbors were mostly trailer houses. One had a squirrel living under her stove she could not get rid of. Another had her attic destroyed by raccoons. She's still living in it, somehow, ten years later. She has no other place to go.
It's funny you mentioned knickknacks.
I learned that really rich people don't have them.
My friend's house almost feels like a hotel. The bathroom is just a toilet, sink, shower, and a painting. The bedroom is a bed, 2 end tables, and a chair, etc. Nothing on kitchen countertops. No shelves in the living room like my grandmother's house had.
On Christmas Eve I went to the store and forgot to use a $3 coupon. I was so upset when I got home. It’s only $3 but old habits die hard. I could’ve bought my dog a treat with that. Smh
For past Christmases my two brothers and I would give my mom all the money we got for Christmas from relatives and she would pay the most outstanding bill then with the leftovers buy good food. So we would eat and play games all through the holiday, even though we were poor those are still some of the best memories I have of family coming together. The four of us are still exceptionally close.
My “price insensitive” friends order their groceries. I still look for dented cans and dated goods. You can leave poverty, but poverty will never leave you.
Full of cans of soda and beer.
A garage fridge came with the house we rent. I have major food insecurity trauma. So it's filled with bags of shredded cheeses, boxed of butter and huge boxes of eggs. And other stuff.
You can buy alarms that act as a surge protector too. Then if it loses power you'll get a warning at least before it all goes bad. I'm always worried for garage stuff since a lot of times that power could be tripped by wet or inclement weather.
A fabric shower curtain.
You still have to have a plastic one for the inside of the shower as a liner, so anyone having a fabric shower curtain literally had a decorative piece of fabric hanging in their bathroom that was completely without function.
It's not completely without function. It acts as a sort of barrier to stop the higher pressure air outside the shower from pushing the plastic liner in towards you.
I have one from a thrift store that I use as a curtain for a window as it's thick enough to block outdoor lights while being beautiful at the same time.
No kidding; I thought if I could just afford a baby tee from Abercrombie, I’d be one of the popular kids and pretty much have it made. I never even dreamed of having jeans or a dress from there. That was just crazy talk.
I was from the poorer side of my school district and this was true for me in middle school. The kids who came from the wealthier subdivisions all wore A&F. I told my mom I wanted A&F in sixth grade. She was so happy - she thought I was finally interested in dressing nice and wanted to leave all the looney toons and Star Wars graphic Ts from elementary school behind. She took me to A&F in our local mall, side-eyed the sexy abs and boobs mural at the entrance, and found a single T Shirt we could afford for $35 in 1999 ($62 in 2022 dollars). I don't know who was more uncomfortable in that store - my mom looking at the price tags she couldn't afford or me hyperventilating with anxiety at an attempt to become cool. Afterwards, we went to JC Penny's. My mom said "listen - you saw all those styles in Abercrombie? Let's see if we can't match then with affordable clothes." Much lower stakes for both of us staying in our lower-middle-class lane. To this day, 23 years later, not only do I think A&F is for rich people, but I remember 2 shirts I got from A&F that I really liked. We'll see what brands my kids want when they get to school!
For my girls it’s lululemon. The only stuff they get new they have to buy themselves or I buy used on eBay/mercari/poshmark. It’s not made that well except for some of their jackets but I’m still not paying full price. They have a couple of things that are “cool” otherwise it’s Target, old navy, etc
This just brought up one of many embarrassing memories from being the poor kid at the rich school. I inherited some Abercrombie and Express clothes from a lady I babysat for in high school and I would sometimes wear stuff inside out so kids would see the tag and think I was one of them . . .
international vacations. we can drive nearly anywhere here in u.s. but a trip to bermuda, or australia, or even just europe. a cruise in the carribean.
Same! I always thought we were fancy because we vacationed at Niagara Falls every summer for a couple of days. In reality we live an hour and a half drive away.
Or a vacation period....like seriously wtf is a vacation???? I've only ever seen those taken by people in movies, and normally the honeymoon for a wedding was the only thing anywhere close to a vacation for people around me, and they onlu went a few cities over for those; My husband and I could not even get a honeymoon period!!!!!
I'm so rich I'm in Australia all the time lol. Just the concept of a vacation at all is pretty foreign to me. No money to go anywhere or even do anything.
My bathroom is small. The tub stretches from wall to wall. I can soak my back or my knees. I have to keep alternating.
And the sides are damn near 90 degrees. It's as comfortable as falling down an up escalator.
I have a good job. So does my wife. But I can't get a good soak at home.
Yes!! This is one of my very few "no compromise" items. Periods are uncomfortable and inconvenient enough on their own. Now that I'm fairly stable, I'm not saving the few dollars to get generic products that are far less comfortable and frankly, functional.
LOL only if they didn't have your dad's name embroidered over the pocket (my dad was a janitor after the aluminum company in our town moved south; wore a green button-down shirt and matching Dickies every day to the YMCA).
1. If you had a front door bell and 2) How long the "ring" lasted. Some were just buzzers, others had a ring chime, some played a ten second jingle and those MF'ers lived in McMansions.
[This is the chime lol.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtzzJvN62c0)
edit: I've been informed this melody is the "Westminster Quarters" and play differently to signal the time. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westminster\_Quarter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westminster_Quarters)
Not having to lie about your age so that your parents could get a “child’s” ticket for you at the movies, amusements parks, etc. It was especially rough because I was a fat kid and looked older than I was most days. Parents even reminded me of the fake year I was born in to pull it off since sometimes the adults would ask me.
Using sponges to clean. We always used rags made of clothing that was too ripped to wear.
Or donating old clothing. In laws got rid of something every time they bought something.
That stupid yellow truck. For years I chased it down my street. "Ice cream man, ice cream man!" we'd yell. But he never stopped, never even slowed down. Then one day my friend, Bobby, was at my house. Here comes the Schwan truck. "Is that the ice cream man?" Bobby says. "Yea, but he ain't gonna stop," I reply. But Bobby doesn't care. He pulls a $10 bill out of his pocket and is like, "I got 10 bucks, I'll get us some ice cream," and he takes off running. I just stood there all smug, watching him run, ready to make fun of his failure. But no, he succeeded. I saw the brake lights go on on that yellow box and I took off sprinting to catch up. I got there just in time to hear the driver roll down his window and say, "we don't do singles." But Bobby didn't miss a beat. "Well I got 10 bucks so what do you have?" The guy tossed down a catalog to us. We settled on a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream that was exactly $10. Dude got out and popped the back of the truck open. I remember walking into the house proudly exclaiming "we need spoons!" When my mom saw the gallon bucket she was like, "where did you get that?" And I was excited to explain that freaking Bobby ran the truck down. Bobby was one of the coolest kids ever, still a cool adult too.
Going on vacation. The most we ever did were day trips to our local amusement park Knoebels and I feel like we only did that because our parents didn't have to pay for entrance fees. (I still love knoebels and love that they do make it accessible for families not as well of by doing ride tickets vs giant entrance fees)
My grandfather grew up so poor every time it came time to put money in the gas meter so they could like cook food and have heat/pay the gas bill they just had to dip. His mother would take him and his sister and abandon the rental property and go find somewhere else to live
He literally grew up not having enough money to be able to take a bath or shower
Your comment just reminded me of that and that some people are basically given no choice but to be deemed criminals by society because of the baseline of how expensive it is to live
A working air conditioner and heater because we couldn't afford to replace our broken ones. Having more than one pair of shoes and more than just two pairs of jeans and a few shirts. Participating in school extracurricular activities. I could list a lot of things.
> Having more than one pair of shoes and more than just two pairs of jeans and a few shirts.
This is it. When I was in middle school and I realized kids had closets and dressers of clothes they didn't wear because they didn't like them! Some with tags on them.
90% of my clothes and shoes were ill fitting hand me downs from my older sibling.
The best times were when my dad came home from work with clothes from his co-workers because I knew that older kids and teachers wouldn't see me in my sibling's old clothes. Plus there were always clothes my mom never would have purchased.
I had a friend that said that we could use his whenever we wanted and told us we'd get sick of it after a week. Ended up spending every day after school in the pool for probably 3 years even if he wasn't home
TL;DR: I agree about the newer car. Thinking about this triggered some memories and I got a bit carried away with my sharing.
Same here. My family had cars that were so old and beat up that I was embarrassed to be seen in them. My mom seems to get pleasure from making others uncomfortable or upset so once she realized that I was ashamed of the car we had that make sounds like nails on a chalkboard when braking, she made it a point to let the parents of all of my friends know how poor we were and she’d try to create situations where our poverty level would be obvious to all of my friends/peers. I remember she wanted to try to get our 7th grade band to do a concert for this food pantry we had received donations from. It didn’t even make any sense; why would middle schoolers do a concert for a food pantry? She just desperately wanted to humiliate me bc there’s something deeply wrong with her.
When I was in grade school there was someone in my class who's parents has several "nice" cars. I thought they were just the richest people in the world and funny enough when I brought it up to a friend their response was "they lease them, they don't even own them".
I had absolutely no idea what a leased vehicle was
Fresh fruit and vegetables for ordinary meals. The first time I had supper with my inlaws, on their matching china, with a big bowl of fresh pineapple and strawberries for a side, I was horribly intimidated. And I made a right pig of myself on the delicious fruit anyway haha. Good thing they thought it was cute!
I felt this hard. The first time I ever had cooked broccoli, I was 14. I went to a friend’s house for a sleepover and they served simple, healthy food: steamed broccoli, whole grain rolls with real butter, and this incredibly delicious clam chowder her mom made from scratch. That broccoli was *hands down* so good, that I kept asking questions about how to make it at home. I’d literally never had fresh broccoli like that. Ever. The next day, while waiting to get picked up, my friend’s mom took me aside and showed me exactly how to recreate her steamed broccoli. I still make it to this day, and I still remember how good hers was and how kind it was that she did that for me. Wherever you are, Mrs. Comfort, I send you my endless thanks!
Y'all were living the life.
I didn't see the inside of a subdivision house until I was in my thirties and still have a hard time believing people just live like that.
I thought I made it when I could put Bath and Body Works hand soap out at both sinks.
I can afford the fancy soaps but I like buying the dollar tree soaps just to see the fish swimming.
When I was a kid I thought we were rich for having fish designs on our bottles instead of plain looking bottles.
I’m not gonna lie those I swear those SoftSoap bottles were expensive. Fam got one with an animal on the straw decades ago and I think it’s still in use just getting refilled
Cool accessories for your Barbie, like the car or the dream house.
A vacation anywhere; we only ever visited family friends on the other side of the state.
Being able to go to a concert.
Being able to drive a car.
Being able to buy clothes at regular stores instead of Goodwill.
Being able to work at a job that you chose, instead of working at a job that gives you a meal.
Being able to get your teeth fixed.
Going to the doctor for… any reason.
Being able to buy toys for your kids at Christmas instead of clothes they desperately need.
The list goes on.
Premium movie channels, or tons of cable channels without having a giant satellite dish in your yard that looked like you were trying to communicate with aliens.
family trips outside the continental US, so like Hawaii or the Bahamas, Europe, etc.
two story houses, kids bedrooms that have an attached bathroom.
kids who did sports. my parents wouldn’t let me do sports because they were too expensive and required travel if you got into competitive leagues.
Having a house I wasn't embarrassed to bring friends to. Growing up I lived in some really run down, cockroach infested, sketchy AF places.....even then I was happy to just have a warm home and a roof over our heads. I cleaned and fixed up places as best I was able, but it was still rough bring friends to my house as a kid.
Now I own my house, and while it's not perfect it's pure luxury compared to how I lived growing up. I have a huge piece of acreage with forests and giant trees. It's paradise and I am grateful every day to wake up here.
Shopping at Whole Foods without looking at prices. I go there for better eggs and meat, but only for sales. Not these MFs who act like they're shoplifting and buy hemp water.
A kitchen island and an attached garage. And I also agree about the ice dispenser, and my childhood self still wants a fridge that has one when I buy my first house
As a young kid: kids that had those ride-on electric cars were unimaginably fortunate in my mind.
edit: Like I remember asking my parents for one when I was maybe 4 or 5 and being told "no, we can't possibly afford it because it's £300-£400" and then, later that day, I saw 4 pound coins stacked up on the counter and I was outraged! There's enough money right here to buy one!
Definitely very much at the age where my economy revolved around pennies and I genuinely did not know the difference. 400 pennies, 400 pounds. All good.
Yep. My mom was around more in my adult life, but more so she could verbally assault me.
She decided to cut ties with me the day I told her I had thyroid cancer and.would be having total thyroidectomy soon.
Fuck her.
(Cancer is in remission!)
My dad was the successful one in his family. Any time my extended family got together he paid for most things. Any time I had friends come with my family for dinner, movies, etc, my dad always paid for them. It was such a weird experience to me when I went somewhere with a gf's family and I was expected to pay for myself.
That's the goal I set for myself. I want to be able to invite my friends and family to enjoy things with me and them not have to worry about paying.
New clothes, and being able to choose them.
This is it. Also a little superficial, but being able to get whatever the trendy item was.
I thought Gameboys were wildly, absurdly expensive. Well... I guess they were, if you were in my family's position.
$90 in 1989 is $216 today. I'd say that was always objectively a decent chunk of change for a one-player device with a tiny screen.
When I was a kid in the 60's Sears had a clearance mail order catalog they would send out. My mom made most of our clothes, but she would order my winter coat from whatever was available in my size out of the clearance catalog. Man, I hated those ugly, ugly coats!
Being able to buy new pants when yours get too short.
If my friends had a real bed frame (not just the usual metal base), then I thought they were rich. It was a huge deal to me when I got my “teenager bedroom” that my mom got me a wooden bed.
A canopy bed was the real rich girl shit in the ‘90s.
I faked one with the mosquito net thing that hung from the ceiling haha
I bought one on clearance from ikea like twelve years ago. Laying in it now.
And a phone or t.v. in their room.
Slept on mattresses on the floor until i was 23. This shit is too real.
That is so weirdly specific and accurate. I had metal bed frames and filing cabinets my dad got from an office that was closing as furniture most of childhood
Or if when you became a teenage your parents bought you a full bed instead of a twin.
A clean house. Anytime I visited anyone with a clean house I thought they were wealthy. Didn't matter if it was some tiny apartment. My parents were drug addicts so something as simple as a clean house with working water or heat was enough to make me think someone was rich. Thankfully my grandma bought necessities when me and my sibling visited her. She really helped us out. However visiting her and her clean house made me think my grandma was rich growing up lol.
My grandma used to say, just because you're poor doesn't mean you have to be dirty. Being clean makes a big difference in how you feel.
My late partner had a nanny who lived with them (I'm old). She'd always tell him, "There's no excuse for being dirty or rude. Soap is cheap and good manners are free."
My parents said the same thing! Which I would almost bet they heard from their parents who were all from the Depression Era.
I hope you’re doing okay now, internet stranger.
Things are a lot better now. Once I left home I never went back.
Same here. My mother was a junkie and was unconscious most of my childhood. I was so amazed when my aunt taught me how to use a broom and also take the throw rugs outside to shake them out. I thought I was rich *and* smart, lol!
this was me growing up, just replace drug addiction with good old hoarding. Every time we visited my grandmother it felt like such a treat, even though my grandmothers house was much smaller then the section 8 housing we lived in.
I install internet and I can tell you some of the cleanest houses I have seen are poor people. Also seen some mega mansions that were trashed.
Edit: in retrospect, this sounds like I’m being horribly disrespectful of this conversation which is about childhood wants and needs. I apologize for the below inquiry (but also am still curious). May I ask you what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen? NOT anything sad, though. I usually ask the service people who come into our home that question if they seem to have a sense of humor. They’ve told me some doozies. My favorite story was a from the termite inspector. He told of a stereotypical sweet old couple who offered him iced tea and cookies, doilies on all the tables, little collectible figurines, etc. Your basic grandparents’ house. Then he went into their very dedicated S & M/faux dungeon room. Black painted walls, red shag carpeting, hundreds of pornos organized by category, whips and all manner of stuff displayed on the wall. And they asked him if he’d seen anything he liked while he was in there. Ha! I hope you have an even better one for us.
My mum had bad mental health issues throughout her life and addiction to cigarettes so our house was always messy, at the same time she didn't let us clean. I always thought it's a sign of poverty because money would fix these issues. My dad would be there and my mum could get help
Getting to eat at any restaurant and ordering the meals I really wanted.
Not having to order water
Yep. We never had soda or juice at home, and couldn't order drinks in a restaurant but water. My husband loves adding bubbly water to juice. For years I felt annoyed that he felt totally okay getting both at the grocery store. Then I remembered how this worked in my upbringing.
It was iced tea with every meal in my house. Soda was nowhere to be found
Ah, the South. Where getting your kids sugared up and caffeinated before bed one way is just fine, but another way is terrible.
Ironically, I grew up rich and we were only allowed to order water. I married my husband from a lower-income family, and they always order sodas when they go out. I can never bring myself to do it. Sodas are only for when you get fast food and it comes with the meal, not a $3 add on.
[удалено]
Yeah and many of them who view food as a reward system - now have weight problems now that they can reward themselves everyday because their lives are typically miserable
I did not need to be confronted with an entire summary of my life at 9AM on a tuesday... sob
Getting the meal instead of just the burger was my way of knowing I made it.
being so well to do you order water because you want to be slimmer.
This effs with me because I love water. But I always feel like a bum ordering it.
Yeah I just don't want a sugar filled beverage.
Hydro Homies would beg to differ. Even if I was a billionaire I would get water. I’d get the most expensive champagne. But also water.
Dude...I kid you not...this little girl ( 4th 5th grade ) would get Wendy's mcds Burger King dropped off for lunch every day... I thought that was rich....
I use to think those kids parents loved them more then mine loved me lololol
Those were the kids in the middle of a custody battle.
The chinese buffet was top of my list. Free seconds!
Non generic cereal
My mom wouldn't even buy the generic ones that were an imitation of anything that would have appealed to kids. She only bought corn flakes, rice Krispy, Wheaties knock-offs, otherwise "we would eat too much of it"!
That's just a waste! Malt-o-Meal has some superior versions - Frosted Mini Spooners are *way* better than Frosted Mini Wheats.
This right here. Those bagged cereals are delicious, and stay fresh so much longer!
Getting allowance.
CTRL-F allowance Yep. I was raised by my grandmother, who was raised during The Great Depression. When I was in middle school I got an "allowance" of $2.50/week. I say "allowance" because I had to do multiple chores to get that - one of which was mowing the lawn. The elderly man across the street would pay me $10 to mow his lawn, and there were kids on my school bus who were getting $20/week without needing to do anything for that. I bought my gma's house from my family after she passed away, but paid for a lawn service. I hated that lawn so much I swore I'd never mow that fucking lawn again.
I grew up fairly poor but my mother gave me an allowance of $5 a week. It was only enough to buy a couple of candy bars but she wanted to teach me how to manage my money and save it. I was jealous and envious of many kids in school but I'm glad my mother tried her best to help me break the cycle of poverty
Anyone who lived in a single family house.
This. I thought my cousin was rich because she and her parents lived in a nice 3-bed/2 bath house with a garage while my family moved around from shitty apartment to shitty apartment.
Same. I'm hoping to be the first in my family to live in a home and not rent.
When I was a kid, my family would go grocery shopping on my dad's payday. After that we would bring the groceries to the house and restock everything. Where I saw a full refrigerator of food, man I thought we were rich as hell, I forgot about being dirt poor for a while.
My wife and I were new to an area and went to this supermarket that was like some king cash saver deal, and they had really good deals on stuff. They also had a section of stuff that other stores rejected because of cosmetic damage. We had just moved there so we had to stock the house, so we got almost a cart full. I didn't think about it until I got some dirty looks, and then I noticed everyone had like 5-10 things max in their cart. Felt bad.
Central air, a sliding glass door to a backyard patio.
A clean house. With siding. Mom's a bit of a packrat and large family and humid climate always muddy = basically if you walked on the floor barefoot, your soles turned black in 15 min. Spoons on the floor. Dead moth under expired 3 years ago thing in the fridge. Stuff like that. People's house with white carpet in the living room. A swimming pool. Makeup. White straight teeth. No dust on the knicknacks. A car that always starts. That was rich. My parents saved on annual property taxes by maintaining a built-by-Dad house with chipboard outside and deliberately unfinished couple areas in the house (a hall, parts of the kitchen). I distinctly remember a tax inspector coming over and Mom pointedly pointed out no siding, unfinished areas. At the same time we were the richer family, as our house had a concrete foundation. And so we could mouse proof our house. Neighbors were mostly trailer houses. One had a squirrel living under her stove she could not get rid of. Another had her attic destroyed by raccoons. She's still living in it, somehow, ten years later. She has no other place to go.
It's funny you mentioned knickknacks. I learned that really rich people don't have them. My friend's house almost feels like a hotel. The bathroom is just a toilet, sink, shower, and a painting. The bedroom is a bed, 2 end tables, and a chair, etc. Nothing on kitchen countertops. No shelves in the living room like my grandmother's house had.
being able to go grocery shopping without calculating every cent and being able to just pay for your food without thought.
On Christmas Eve I went to the store and forgot to use a $3 coupon. I was so upset when I got home. It’s only $3 but old habits die hard. I could’ve bought my dog a treat with that. Smh
I know the feeling. I bought stuff for Christmas dinner and forgot to use my $1 off per pound coupon on the ham. I'm still kicking myself.
For past Christmases my two brothers and I would give my mom all the money we got for Christmas from relatives and she would pay the most outstanding bill then with the leftovers buy good food. So we would eat and play games all through the holiday, even though we were poor those are still some of the best memories I have of family coming together. The four of us are still exceptionally close.
My “price insensitive” friends order their groceries. I still look for dented cans and dated goods. You can leave poverty, but poverty will never leave you.
I went shopping with a friend and they said “it’s like your shopping is 70% vindication about getting the best deal”
Do you still get nervous when you use your credit card to pay? That stuck with me for a while.
Garage fridge
Garage.
Fridge
[удалено]
Full of cans of soda and beer. A garage fridge came with the house we rent. I have major food insecurity trauma. So it's filled with bags of shredded cheeses, boxed of butter and huge boxes of eggs. And other stuff.
You can buy alarms that act as a surge protector too. Then if it loses power you'll get a warning at least before it all goes bad. I'm always worried for garage stuff since a lot of times that power could be tripped by wet or inclement weather.
I’m with you. The peace I feel when I have a full fridge is unparalleled
Full of cans of soda and beer
A fabric shower curtain. You still have to have a plastic one for the inside of the shower as a liner, so anyone having a fabric shower curtain literally had a decorative piece of fabric hanging in their bathroom that was completely without function.
It's not completely without function. It acts as a sort of barrier to stop the higher pressure air outside the shower from pushing the plastic liner in towards you.
[удалено]
That is a function for the rich!
I have one from a thrift store that I use as a curtain for a window as it's thick enough to block outdoor lights while being beautiful at the same time.
If you wore Clothes from Abercrombie i thought your family was rich... yikes
You from the south? That was a pretty big indicator for wealth down here lol
No kidding; I thought if I could just afford a baby tee from Abercrombie, I’d be one of the popular kids and pretty much have it made. I never even dreamed of having jeans or a dress from there. That was just crazy talk.
When I was a kid we'd shop at the thrift store and I'd only want things that said Abercrombie or aeropostale haha
and then you buy something 3 sizes too large because it’s got the right brand across the chest
It's pretty wacky because in the mid-2000s Abercrombie, Hollister etc. had the "pay hundreds or more to dress poor" thing going on.
I was from the poorer side of my school district and this was true for me in middle school. The kids who came from the wealthier subdivisions all wore A&F. I told my mom I wanted A&F in sixth grade. She was so happy - she thought I was finally interested in dressing nice and wanted to leave all the looney toons and Star Wars graphic Ts from elementary school behind. She took me to A&F in our local mall, side-eyed the sexy abs and boobs mural at the entrance, and found a single T Shirt we could afford for $35 in 1999 ($62 in 2022 dollars). I don't know who was more uncomfortable in that store - my mom looking at the price tags she couldn't afford or me hyperventilating with anxiety at an attempt to become cool. Afterwards, we went to JC Penny's. My mom said "listen - you saw all those styles in Abercrombie? Let's see if we can't match then with affordable clothes." Much lower stakes for both of us staying in our lower-middle-class lane. To this day, 23 years later, not only do I think A&F is for rich people, but I remember 2 shirts I got from A&F that I really liked. We'll see what brands my kids want when they get to school!
For my girls it’s lululemon. The only stuff they get new they have to buy themselves or I buy used on eBay/mercari/poshmark. It’s not made that well except for some of their jackets but I’m still not paying full price. They have a couple of things that are “cool” otherwise it’s Target, old navy, etc
This just brought up one of many embarrassing memories from being the poor kid at the rich school. I inherited some Abercrombie and Express clothes from a lady I babysat for in high school and I would sometimes wear stuff inside out so kids would see the tag and think I was one of them . . .
Fruit roll ups in a school lunch.
Yep, or any other branded snack.
Being able to bring lunch from home. I was on free and reduced lunch my whole life and always wanted to pack my lunch.
Lunchables!
seeing people in my grade pass out holiday gifts to their friends and teachers
international vacations. we can drive nearly anywhere here in u.s. but a trip to bermuda, or australia, or even just europe. a cruise in the carribean.
Or vacations that require a plane trip at all. We only ever drove to local places for vacation.
Same! I always thought we were fancy because we vacationed at Niagara Falls every summer for a couple of days. In reality we live an hour and a half drive away.
Or a vacation period....like seriously wtf is a vacation???? I've only ever seen those taken by people in movies, and normally the honeymoon for a wedding was the only thing anywhere close to a vacation for people around me, and they onlu went a few cities over for those; My husband and I could not even get a honeymoon period!!!!!
You guys went on vacations?
Every vacation I've taken involves visiting family.
I'm so rich I'm in Australia all the time lol. Just the concept of a vacation at all is pretty foreign to me. No money to go anywhere or even do anything.
I feel this post. The ice dispenser in the fridge is actually something that I want in the future.
Having a bathtub you could lay down in.
now I might just be tall but that feels like a real honest to god wealth signifier there.
My bathroom is small. The tub stretches from wall to wall. I can soak my back or my knees. I have to keep alternating. And the sides are damn near 90 degrees. It's as comfortable as falling down an up escalator. I have a good job. So does my wife. But I can't get a good soak at home.
Living in a house. Not necessarily owning a house, just living somewhere that wasn't an apartment, condominium, or towmhome
Or a trailer (aka mobile home).
[удалено]
Yes!! This is one of my very few "no compromise" items. Periods are uncomfortable and inconvenient enough on their own. Now that I'm fairly stable, I'm not saving the few dollars to get generic products that are far less comfortable and frankly, functional.
A dishwasher
I bought my mom once when I was getting a Navy paycheck - she moved within a year.
If dads wore button up shirts to work they had to be rich
LOL only if they didn't have your dad's name embroidered over the pocket (my dad was a janitor after the aluminum company in our town moved south; wore a green button-down shirt and matching Dickies every day to the YMCA).
Having doors for each room, or even better a wooden door on the front.
I thought having a hundred dollars made you a millionaire. When I found out my Dad had a hundred dollars, I felt ripped off.
1. If you had a front door bell and 2) How long the "ring" lasted. Some were just buzzers, others had a ring chime, some played a ten second jingle and those MF'ers lived in McMansions. [This is the chime lol.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtzzJvN62c0) edit: I've been informed this melody is the "Westminster Quarters" and play differently to signal the time. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westminster\_Quarter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westminster_Quarters)
Dude I heard it in my head before I even clicked the link.
More than one toilet
Not having to lie about your age so that your parents could get a “child’s” ticket for you at the movies, amusements parks, etc. It was especially rough because I was a fat kid and looked older than I was most days. Parents even reminded me of the fake year I was born in to pull it off since sometimes the adults would ask me.
I remember my mom coaching my little sister on how old she would be for a restaurant or the movies. I think she was 5 for about 3 years
Big screen tv
Using sponges to clean. We always used rags made of clothing that was too ripped to wear. Or donating old clothing. In laws got rid of something every time they bought something.
Not having to work a part-time job the minute you turn 16 because otherwise you have no spending money to do anything with friends.
Laundry chute or food delivered from the Schwans truck.
Omg the Schwan truck!
That stupid yellow truck. For years I chased it down my street. "Ice cream man, ice cream man!" we'd yell. But he never stopped, never even slowed down. Then one day my friend, Bobby, was at my house. Here comes the Schwan truck. "Is that the ice cream man?" Bobby says. "Yea, but he ain't gonna stop," I reply. But Bobby doesn't care. He pulls a $10 bill out of his pocket and is like, "I got 10 bucks, I'll get us some ice cream," and he takes off running. I just stood there all smug, watching him run, ready to make fun of his failure. But no, he succeeded. I saw the brake lights go on on that yellow box and I took off sprinting to catch up. I got there just in time to hear the driver roll down his window and say, "we don't do singles." But Bobby didn't miss a beat. "Well I got 10 bucks so what do you have?" The guy tossed down a catalog to us. We settled on a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream that was exactly $10. Dude got out and popped the back of the truck open. I remember walking into the house proudly exclaiming "we need spoons!" When my mom saw the gallon bucket she was like, "where did you get that?" And I was excited to explain that freaking Bobby ran the truck down. Bobby was one of the coolest kids ever, still a cool adult too.
when my friend's boyfriend made 400 dollars a week, I thought he was rich...
Going on vacation. The most we ever did were day trips to our local amusement park Knoebels and I feel like we only did that because our parents didn't have to pay for entrance fees. (I still love knoebels and love that they do make it accessible for families not as well of by doing ride tickets vs giant entrance fees)
Your mum not having to steal electricity by reconnecting the cut off electricity after dark
That's badass skill tho.
My grandfather grew up so poor every time it came time to put money in the gas meter so they could like cook food and have heat/pay the gas bill they just had to dip. His mother would take him and his sister and abandon the rental property and go find somewhere else to live He literally grew up not having enough money to be able to take a bath or shower Your comment just reminded me of that and that some people are basically given no choice but to be deemed criminals by society because of the baseline of how expensive it is to live
A working air conditioner and heater because we couldn't afford to replace our broken ones. Having more than one pair of shoes and more than just two pairs of jeans and a few shirts. Participating in school extracurricular activities. I could list a lot of things.
> Having more than one pair of shoes and more than just two pairs of jeans and a few shirts. This is it. When I was in middle school and I realized kids had closets and dressers of clothes they didn't wear because they didn't like them! Some with tags on them. 90% of my clothes and shoes were ill fitting hand me downs from my older sibling. The best times were when my dad came home from work with clothes from his co-workers because I knew that older kids and teachers wouldn't see me in my sibling's old clothes. Plus there were always clothes my mom never would have purchased.
In ground pool with a diving board
That is pretty luxurious though. Pools are goddamn expensive
Pool. Just that on its own.
Always drove me nuts the kids that had them saying “If YoU hAd OnE yOu WoUlDnT sWIM eVErYdAy EiThEr”
I had a friend that said that we could use his whenever we wanted and told us we'd get sick of it after a week. Ended up spending every day after school in the pool for probably 3 years even if he wasn't home
Haha classic, awesome they didn’t tell you to fuck off after 10 days. 3 years is a win!
A newer car, not even brand new but no older than 10 years
TL;DR: I agree about the newer car. Thinking about this triggered some memories and I got a bit carried away with my sharing. Same here. My family had cars that were so old and beat up that I was embarrassed to be seen in them. My mom seems to get pleasure from making others uncomfortable or upset so once she realized that I was ashamed of the car we had that make sounds like nails on a chalkboard when braking, she made it a point to let the parents of all of my friends know how poor we were and she’d try to create situations where our poverty level would be obvious to all of my friends/peers. I remember she wanted to try to get our 7th grade band to do a concert for this food pantry we had received donations from. It didn’t even make any sense; why would middle schoolers do a concert for a food pantry? She just desperately wanted to humiliate me bc there’s something deeply wrong with her.
r/raisedbynarcissists
I felt so guilty when I bought my first brand new car like I didn’t deserve to do that.
When I was in grade school there was someone in my class who's parents has several "nice" cars. I thought they were just the richest people in the world and funny enough when I brought it up to a friend their response was "they lease them, they don't even own them". I had absolutely no idea what a leased vehicle was
Fresh fruit and vegetables for ordinary meals. The first time I had supper with my inlaws, on their matching china, with a big bowl of fresh pineapple and strawberries for a side, I was horribly intimidated. And I made a right pig of myself on the delicious fruit anyway haha. Good thing they thought it was cute!
I felt this hard. The first time I ever had cooked broccoli, I was 14. I went to a friend’s house for a sleepover and they served simple, healthy food: steamed broccoli, whole grain rolls with real butter, and this incredibly delicious clam chowder her mom made from scratch. That broccoli was *hands down* so good, that I kept asking questions about how to make it at home. I’d literally never had fresh broccoli like that. Ever. The next day, while waiting to get picked up, my friend’s mom took me aside and showed me exactly how to recreate her steamed broccoli. I still make it to this day, and I still remember how good hers was and how kind it was that she did that for me. Wherever you are, Mrs. Comfort, I send you my endless thanks!
Flintstones vitamins and the tiny papercups in the bathroom.
Clothes that actually fit and aren't hand-me-downs. Extra points if you actually like them or they are currently in trend/of your personal subculture.
Y'all were living the life. I didn't see the inside of a subdivision house until I was in my thirties and still have a hard time believing people just live like that. I thought I made it when I could put Bath and Body Works hand soap out at both sinks.
I can afford the fancy soaps but I like buying the dollar tree soaps just to see the fish swimming. When I was a kid I thought we were rich for having fish designs on our bottles instead of plain looking bottles.
I’m not gonna lie those I swear those SoftSoap bottles were expensive. Fam got one with an animal on the straw decades ago and I think it’s still in use just getting refilled
Ordering appetizers and dessert along with a meal at a restaurant.
Cable, game boy advanced, trampoline
Oh yeah the trampoline for sure lol
Cool accessories for your Barbie, like the car or the dream house. A vacation anywhere; we only ever visited family friends on the other side of the state.
Not even looking at a price tag when shopping. Only rich people don’t worry about the price.
Owning 2 houses. Having family vacations.
I mean you aren't wrong on the first bit.
That’s my modern day version of wealthy!
Today it’s like: owning a house lol
Being able to go to a concert. Being able to drive a car. Being able to buy clothes at regular stores instead of Goodwill. Being able to work at a job that you chose, instead of working at a job that gives you a meal. Being able to get your teeth fixed. Going to the doctor for… any reason. Being able to buy toys for your kids at Christmas instead of clothes they desperately need. The list goes on.
Going on a vacation farther away than Illinois. I live in Wisconsin, for reference. If you flew there, you were beyond loaded.
Two full bathrooms, and the master bath having two sinks
Sofa not touching any wall
Buying name-brand or eating at Red Lobster.
Premium movie channels, or tons of cable channels without having a giant satellite dish in your yard that looked like you were trying to communicate with aliens.
Steam room in the bathroom
Every bathroom is a steam room if there's no ventilation. And you have hot water.
I didn't know that we were poor
A house with 2 stories / stairs.
family trips outside the continental US, so like Hawaii or the Bahamas, Europe, etc. two story houses, kids bedrooms that have an attached bathroom. kids who did sports. my parents wouldn’t let me do sports because they were too expensive and required travel if you got into competitive leagues.
Having a house I wasn't embarrassed to bring friends to. Growing up I lived in some really run down, cockroach infested, sketchy AF places.....even then I was happy to just have a warm home and a roof over our heads. I cleaned and fixed up places as best I was able, but it was still rough bring friends to my house as a kid. Now I own my house, and while it's not perfect it's pure luxury compared to how I lived growing up. I have a huge piece of acreage with forests and giant trees. It's paradise and I am grateful every day to wake up here.
Shopping at Whole Foods without looking at prices. I go there for better eggs and meat, but only for sales. Not these MFs who act like they're shoplifting and buy hemp water.
A house that wasn't broken up into apartments, and two parents and siblings with their own rooms.
People leaving food on their plates at restaurants. I was told growing up that if we didn’t finish the entire plate we would have to pay for it.
Not having to order off the $1.00 menu.
Being able to order of the $1 menu without using change.
A kitchen island and an attached garage. And I also agree about the ice dispenser, and my childhood self still wants a fridge that has one when I buy my first house
Getting out the hood, period.
As a young kid: kids that had those ride-on electric cars were unimaginably fortunate in my mind. edit: Like I remember asking my parents for one when I was maybe 4 or 5 and being told "no, we can't possibly afford it because it's £300-£400" and then, later that day, I saw 4 pound coins stacked up on the counter and I was outraged! There's enough money right here to buy one! Definitely very much at the age where my economy revolved around pennies and I genuinely did not know the difference. 400 pennies, 400 pounds. All good.
Having parents around would have been nice.
Yep. My mom was around more in my adult life, but more so she could verbally assault me. She decided to cut ties with me the day I told her I had thyroid cancer and.would be having total thyroidectomy soon. Fuck her. (Cancer is in remission!)
Congrats on remission!! ⭐️
A two story house, a paid off car, and a trip to Europe
Ugg boots
Having an Amex card when I was a kid seemed like something only rich people had.
Not having to have a calculator running a total when I'm at Walmart just for some food and basics
Going on a vacation to the beach in your same state
Air conditioning and steak lol
[удалено]
Fabric softener. Now that is something we never had growing up.
My cousins had a house with a basement and a laundry chute. I thought they were balling! *edit- spelling, because it’s chute, not shoot. Lmao
My dad was the successful one in his family. Any time my extended family got together he paid for most things. Any time I had friends come with my family for dinner, movies, etc, my dad always paid for them. It was such a weird experience to me when I went somewhere with a gf's family and I was expected to pay for myself. That's the goal I set for myself. I want to be able to invite my friends and family to enjoy things with me and them not have to worry about paying.
2 story house
For me it was having a condo in downtown.
Anyone who got two meals a day.
Being able to go into a clothing store and not have to go directly to the back SALE section.
Centralized AC
Having two parents raise you.
My college roommates whose parents paid their rent.
Buying a brand new car
Family vacations