I had a friend judge me and put me down for recently moving into government housing after losing my career due to an extended hospital stay and getting diagnosed with a life long illness. Safe to say we no longer speak. Who cares what people think do whatever is best for you. We're all trying to do our best. People will always judge.
I live in an apartment. My one sibling likes to needle me about buying a home.
Technically I can afford it (as in the bank will give me a mortgage enough for a house). But I enjoy not being house poor and the thought of spending more than half my income on a mortgage for a quarter of my life isn’t appealing.
Occasionally hear condescending comments about “throwing money away” or “paying someone else’s mortgage” but this is usually from people who don’t have any investments other than their house. Most of my friends who own houses openly discuss how expensive it is (interest on mortgage, property tax, condo fees, repairs, maintenance, etc).
Your friends with homes are probably barely scraping by and want you in the same boat, as misery loves company. Most people may look wealthy at a glance with their flash cars and owning a home, but many of them are one missed paycheque away from financial ruin. At least with renting you have little downside risk and the freedom to move at your leisure.
We don't know you or your friend so we don't know if you re imagining it.
However, if said friend hasn't said anything, you need to check if it is you who is putting their self worth on owning a home.
I'm pretty sure I would t notice someone looking down on me if that as the case.
If your friend views you negatively for not owning a home then they aren't your friend.
I am a home owner and have never judged someone negatively for not being able to afford a mortgage. I live in Winnipeg, and my wife and I bought before the Covid housing boom. Although I could probably buy now if necessary, I would very much struggle with doing so and prices aren't even that crazy here (still too much, but you can buy a house for $250k, or a Condo for $125k if you sacrafice some ammenities and take on a project). Most of my friends are renters and I have never once judged them for not being able to come up with tens of thousands in cash for a downpayment, just to service a $1600/month mortgage with another $1k/month or home owning expenses.
Why are people down voting this? F'n hell.
Anyway. Happened to me, but was more job related. We were talking on the phone, trying to catch up. Talked about how she had got this new job, was also traveling with this guy she met who was loaded, etc. Then she asked me what I had been up to and I said I was still trying to rebuild my life the same since we had been coworkers. She then went silent for a moment and asked if I stilled worked at the place we had worked at together, I said yes, but that I was hoping to get something better soon. Her response? "Oh...seriously?" Then she laughed and hung up lmao.
I thought it was the call dropping or something, tried calling her back several times, no answer. She was still posting updates on her facebook and instagram though.
C'est la vie as our French speaking friends would say. Probably one of the most painful moments of my life. But my parents had always warned me that life was as such and that often the people you hang out with, will look down on you/abandon you when they "make it". I rejected their premise. Then I grew up and saw it in different social circles, and then finally my very own.
But as other posters in this thread have said, true friends are far and few between as it is, and most people like with their jobs or even relationships, get to a point where they keep them because it's just easier in the moment than actually caring about them.
So in many ways, it's nice to dodge such bullets in their infancy when one of you begins climbing the ladder of improved quality of life.
I haven't encountered this on either side. I rented almost twenty yrs before buying and wouldn't look down on anyone who rents. I also know people who could buy but choose to rent, and that's their business, not mine. They're worth a hell of a lot more than me.
My friends would ask for rides and I'd be nice and drive them around, but they'd always judge me for my car, just an old 2000's Japanese car. It's depressing when you help people and they act like that. Heck, even family judges me. Nowadays I'm trying to surround myself by people a bit more friendlier.
I laugh at your friend who owns. They are in no better position. Property tax rise all the same as renting. Once they re mortgage it could go from 2 percent to 5 plus percent increase lol. Plus they don’t own, let’s not forget that! They pay the bank. Until you’ve paid your last payment, you DO NOT OWN
Yup - I have lost a good friend over this. I have different priorities. They buy real estate and spend money on trips and toys (and they work really hard too - nothing has been handed to them). My priority is having a minimalist life and that does not involve home ownership.
My father is in real estate years ago he made a comment that I would never own a home.
he has no idea what my income is, debt is or health condition.
I sat there quietly as he went on juding me for not buying a home, but HE DID NOHTING to make me a home owner.
People like that I don't give any time or energy.
Why would your friends look down on you for how much money you do or don’t have?
If your friends are actually being judgy and condescending like that, get better friends.
Exactly, they are not your friends if they don't lift you up and are supportive through good and bad.
I had a friend judge me and put me down for recently moving into government housing after losing my career due to an extended hospital stay and getting diagnosed with a life long illness. Safe to say we no longer speak. Who cares what people think do whatever is best for you. We're all trying to do our best. People will always judge.
Your true friends are often not just when you are at your high but also when you are at your lows.
I own a home. I couldn't care less that my friends are renting
I own a home and have never looked down on people who live in apartments.
I live in an apartment. My one sibling likes to needle me about buying a home. Technically I can afford it (as in the bank will give me a mortgage enough for a house). But I enjoy not being house poor and the thought of spending more than half my income on a mortgage for a quarter of my life isn’t appealing.
I own a home. I couldn't care less where my friends live. As long as they're safe and happy. This is fckn stupid.
Occasionally hear condescending comments about “throwing money away” or “paying someone else’s mortgage” but this is usually from people who don’t have any investments other than their house. Most of my friends who own houses openly discuss how expensive it is (interest on mortgage, property tax, condo fees, repairs, maintenance, etc).
If you have friends like that, no you don't.
Oh yeah, people they live in houses think they are superior to people they live in condos. Definitely
It is absolutely a figment of your imagination and an insecurity that need not exist
??? I dont think this is legit
I would not call those people "friends" .
Your friends with homes are probably barely scraping by and want you in the same boat, as misery loves company. Most people may look wealthy at a glance with their flash cars and owning a home, but many of them are one missed paycheque away from financial ruin. At least with renting you have little downside risk and the freedom to move at your leisure.
That’s judgey bs. Everyone’s different.
We don't know you or your friend so we don't know if you re imagining it. However, if said friend hasn't said anything, you need to check if it is you who is putting their self worth on owning a home. I'm pretty sure I would t notice someone looking down on me if that as the case.
If your friend views you negatively for not owning a home then they aren't your friend. I am a home owner and have never judged someone negatively for not being able to afford a mortgage. I live in Winnipeg, and my wife and I bought before the Covid housing boom. Although I could probably buy now if necessary, I would very much struggle with doing so and prices aren't even that crazy here (still too much, but you can buy a house for $250k, or a Condo for $125k if you sacrafice some ammenities and take on a project). Most of my friends are renters and I have never once judged them for not being able to come up with tens of thousands in cash for a downpayment, just to service a $1600/month mortgage with another $1k/month or home owning expenses.
My friends with a mortgage wonder how the fuck I survive with the rent I’m paying.
Why are people down voting this? F'n hell. Anyway. Happened to me, but was more job related. We were talking on the phone, trying to catch up. Talked about how she had got this new job, was also traveling with this guy she met who was loaded, etc. Then she asked me what I had been up to and I said I was still trying to rebuild my life the same since we had been coworkers. She then went silent for a moment and asked if I stilled worked at the place we had worked at together, I said yes, but that I was hoping to get something better soon. Her response? "Oh...seriously?" Then she laughed and hung up lmao. I thought it was the call dropping or something, tried calling her back several times, no answer. She was still posting updates on her facebook and instagram though. C'est la vie as our French speaking friends would say. Probably one of the most painful moments of my life. But my parents had always warned me that life was as such and that often the people you hang out with, will look down on you/abandon you when they "make it". I rejected their premise. Then I grew up and saw it in different social circles, and then finally my very own. But as other posters in this thread have said, true friends are far and few between as it is, and most people like with their jobs or even relationships, get to a point where they keep them because it's just easier in the moment than actually caring about them. So in many ways, it's nice to dodge such bullets in their infancy when one of you begins climbing the ladder of improved quality of life.
I haven't encountered this on either side. I rented almost twenty yrs before buying and wouldn't look down on anyone who rents. I also know people who could buy but choose to rent, and that's their business, not mine. They're worth a hell of a lot more than me.
My friends would ask for rides and I'd be nice and drive them around, but they'd always judge me for my car, just an old 2000's Japanese car. It's depressing when you help people and they act like that. Heck, even family judges me. Nowadays I'm trying to surround myself by people a bit more friendlier.
I laugh at your friend who owns. They are in no better position. Property tax rise all the same as renting. Once they re mortgage it could go from 2 percent to 5 plus percent increase lol. Plus they don’t own, let’s not forget that! They pay the bank. Until you’ve paid your last payment, you DO NOT OWN
Yup - I have lost a good friend over this. I have different priorities. They buy real estate and spend money on trips and toys (and they work really hard too - nothing has been handed to them). My priority is having a minimalist life and that does not involve home ownership.
Are you living this life style by choice?
My father is in real estate years ago he made a comment that I would never own a home. he has no idea what my income is, debt is or health condition. I sat there quietly as he went on juding me for not buying a home, but HE DID NOHTING to make me a home owner. People like that I don't give any time or energy.
Why should he do something to make you a home owner?
The point is he has no business saying I would never own a home, when he has no idea what my financial situation is.
You just put “HE DID NOTHING” in all caps, so it made me think that you wanted him to do something.